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22 Eargesplitten posted:I've seen more success in YLLS from people taking drastic but sustainable action, then when they get to their goal they loosen up a bit but keep the same general habits and through that process they have kept their weight off as long as I followed their logs. I feel like my plan of 1/3 this month and 40% of my income going towards an e-fund and debt reduction by October fits the description of drastic but sustainable, do you disagree? I think you are missing the point of why a 1200 calorie diet is necessary for those 600lb people. It's not because they are merely unhealthy, it's because they are actually going to die from their bodyweight within 6months to a couple of years if things do not change now. The exact same is true of your situation and your debt, it takes just one misstep or accident and all of a sudden you're on the street. You need to be reducing any risk of this ever happening in every way you can. It's not intended to be a sustainable strategy, just one which will get you out of debt in the shortest timeframe possible and hence reduce any risk of possible homelessness (which is by far the worst outcome imaginable and almost unrecoverable at that point). 1 year is doable if you're really careful but man it's dicey, that is if you have an alternative strategy to reduce that burden even sooner.
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Aug 25, 2021 02:09
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Upgrade posted:This seems like a reasonable goal but the reason you're getting pushback is because people are skeptical about your ability to do this, both because: a. you're extremely resistant to doing simple, common sense things right now that could raise several thousand dollars and go a significant way towards helping you reach your goals quicker (sell one of your lovely cars, sell guns) and b. there's a lot of weird back and forth/justification over some of the projected budget figures which seem high or to not make a lot of sense at first glance, which would lead a reasonable reader to believe that you're going to go down the path of Blue Story and confess you spent an extra $2,500 on parts for your shitcar. I am resistant to selling one of the cars, I'll admit that, but I'm working on selling one of my three functional somewhat valuable guns, the other two are defense guns, one of my guns I probably couldn't sell for more than $250 and I can try to sell it for that locally but I'll need to find where to do so, by the time shipping fees, listing fees, etc are paid for I'd be making almost nothing on it due to how expensive it is to ship handguns (they have to go next day air) This place is actually cheaper than almost anywhere else in the state except for the eastern plains, which almost universally has garbage internet so I wouldn't be able to do my job. Groceries and gas are expensive, but compared to having to pay an average of $1,200 or so for a 1-bedroom, not so much. Or 700-ish for a camper spot. Also I definitely can cut down grocery costs, I've just been somewhat free with my money there because it's still a small fraction of what I used to spend on restaurants, but I can probably get it down to 150-200 without much issue when I think about how much that is per day. Before someone asks why not rent a room with roommates, out of my last five roommates two were unstable alcoholics, one violently so to the point he basically had to be chokeslammed by another roommate to prevent him from assaulting a third roommate while blackout drunk. Said second and third roommates manipulated me to the point they basically sucked me dry financially and then bailed, stealing furniture and kitchen stuff as they went. The roommate that replaced the violent alcoholic turned out to be a sexual predator that just hadn't been caught yet. The point is that I make terrible roommate choices that in some cases have caused my financial situation to become even worse, so renting a place for $476 and paying an extra $50 or so in groceries and maybe $25 more in gas is minimal compared to the costs associated with living anywhere else in this state where I could do my job, especially when you consider that this place has far fewer temptations to spend money.
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Aug 25, 2021 02:20
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22 Eargesplitten posted:I can try to sell it for that locally but I'll need to find where to do so, by the time shipping fees, listing fees, etc are paid for I'd be making almost nothing on it due to how expensive it is to ship handguns (they have to go next day air) Do you actually believe things like this? When is the last time you, as a buyer, got the seller to eat shipping costs? Especially for something like this.
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Aug 25, 2021 02:26
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Finances are different from diets because there are metabolic adaptations that demand we EAT NOW so we don’t starve and there are not similar rebound mechanisms for spending money. Going scorched earth and then slowly adding expenses back in is a viable strategy in spending money that doesn’t have an analog to dieting. Dieting is about building long term habits. You are trying to interrupt bad habits. There are also a lot of metabolic mysteries and difficult to observe factors in weight loss that do not have analogies in personal finance. Every dollar you get and spend is knowable. So what if instead of using diet metaphors mixed with narrative to justify not making changes, you viewed this directly: It’s a math problem. Is the number coming in higher or lower than the number going out? What can you do to raise the number going in and lower the number going out? There isn’t a lot of wiggle room here, but you give yourself illusory wiggle room by converting this math problem into a story problem. Discover + Personal Loan is $17,550. 20% of that is $3,510. You are currently spending $3,510 a year to RENT MONEY. That’s $292 a month. It’s more than your revised food budget. A short sharp shock to drop that amount will pay you back countless times over. You are not only saving the debt, you are slashing the interest forever. One time income really counts here because your debt load keeps eating away at your monthly capacity. Unlike dieting, paying off debt gets easier with time because with less debt you have more monthly headroom to pay off debt faster. It accelerates! Right now compounding is working against you. The faster you put money on the debt, the faster it starts working for you. E: Just to hammer this point home. If you put the $1,400 stimulus to the debt, it will save you $280 this year and every year forever. $1400 becomes $1680. Until your debt is cleared, every dollar you take in that you can put towards the debt is worth at least $1.20. doingitwrong fucked around with this message at 02:42 on Aug 25, 2021 |
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Aug 25, 2021 02:32
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Most shipping fee listings on GB are like $35. If you're not a FFL you have to ship next day air. The cheapest next day air (saver) is $93 to ship from my town to Beverly Hills, which I picked because 90210 is the only ZIP code I know out of state. Then Gunbroker fees are about $15, so I guess I would still get maybe $150 out of it. At that point I might be able to get the same amount from a gun shop the next time I'm down somewhere that actually has gun shops, so that's probably the better option. Not consignment, that's the one I had on consignment for 6 months at the height of panic buying when the stores literally could not get any new inventory for almost any pistols and it still didn't sell at one of the lowest prices in the store. So that's an option, although I'm not sure when the next time is I'm going down to the front range. The reason I was using diet analogies is that it's the closest comparison I can find as far as making a drastic life change that takes willpower to stick with. I'm genuinely worried about just saying "gently caress it" if I screw up on one part. I'm going to try my best not to but just generally speaking my brain is my enemy. I haven't gotten any feedback on the revised budget, does that one seem like a reasonable goal in terms of balancing expenses and saving/debt reduction? I almost doubled the monthly savings while adding the Amazon Prime category I forgot about before. Pluralsight is a chunk I'm not happy with paying, but that's the idea, get that poo poo done and get a new job so I can open palm slam that cancel subscription button.
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Aug 25, 2021 02:38
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I would investigate whether there are any non-profit financial counselling, or just general therapy, services near you. Much of your issues seem to be very psychological, like seriously, your attachment to that car is weird and illogical, you're picking it over avoiding potential homelessness. Even if you have to pay a bit (do not pay an exorbitant amount, obviously), this is probably one item of spending that could legitimately help you towards your goals in a sustainable manner.
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Aug 25, 2021 02:46
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I actually do see a therapist once every two weeks, paid out of my HSA, I don't know if he has any financial counseling experience. Thankfully many therapy services (including the one I use) still offer teletherapy due to COVID. I mentioned my concern about having an unhealthy attachment to my cars and he said that it seemed strong but not necessarily unhealthy. Maybe I should discuss my full financial situation and see what he says.
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Aug 25, 2021 02:54
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I am almost certain a therapist would be very concerned over your attachments to material things negatively affecting your financial well-being, and by extension your mental state. If you've been avoiding the subject up with him up until now, I would make that the subject of your next meeting, for your own benefit.
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Aug 25, 2021 03:00
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22 Eargesplitten posted:Most shipping fee listings on GB are like $35. If you're not a FFL you have to ship next day air. The cheapest next day air (saver) is $93 to ship from my town to Beverly Hills, which I picked because 90210 is the only ZIP code I know out of state. Then Gunbroker fees are about $15, so I guess I would still get maybe $150 out of it. At that point I might be able to get the same amount from a gun shop the next time I'm down somewhere that actually has gun shops, so that's probably the better option. What Motronic is getting at is you charge the buyer for shipping. That's how eBay works, I'm sure it's how gun seller sites work.
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Aug 25, 2021 11:01
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Your new budget looks fine, with three caveats, in vaguely ascending order of importance. 1) You need to get out of the storage unit. Set a time to have this done by and stick to it. 2) You need to sell the gun that is worth money that you don't shoot, at minimum. Set a time to have this done by and stick to it. 3) You need to stick to the budget. I think you'll be OK with that budget, but right now it's just numbers on a screen. There's (understandably, I think) a lot of skepticism that you'll be able to stick to it. Prove everyone wrong. edit: can confirm that SOP on Gunborker is for the buyer to pay shipping. It would probably be good to understand how things work before dismissing them. KYOON GRIFFEY JR fucked around with this message at 11:48 on Aug 25, 2021 |
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Aug 25, 2021 11:46
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22 Eargesplitten posted:the other two are defense guns,
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Aug 25, 2021 12:48
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I'm assuming handgun for on the person/in the vehicle and shotgun/AR for home defense or something like that. Not getting in to whether this is 100% reasonable or not but it's pretty common and even if you don't think it's reasonable it's not an argument you'll win.
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Aug 25, 2021 15:08
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Okay, whenever I have bought a gun off of gunbroker it has been like a flat $30-40 shipping, I didn't realize it was common to have shipping that high for a pistol. I'll look into it, see what similar models have been going for, etc. And yeah, I don't want to be rude but the way I feel the need to ensure my safety as an LGBT person in this political environment is outside the scope of this thread. E: I've also got another fairly worthless pistol, it's currently not in working order until I can find its hammer spring (which I would have sworn was in its case but now isn't) but if I can dig that up that might be worth another $250-300. It's an obscure South African copy of an obscure Yugoslavian pistol though, so fingers crossed I even have interest. 22 Eargesplitten fucked around with this message at 15:32 on Aug 25, 2021 |
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Aug 25, 2021 15:29
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22 Eargesplitten posted:And yeah, I don't want to be rude but the way I feel the need to ensure my safety as an LGBT person in this political environment is outside the scope of this thread. If you want to solve the problem, you need to change how you think. There isn't some magical solution where you don't change anything and your problems go away. Dik Hz fucked around with this message at 20:18 on Aug 25, 2021 |
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Aug 25, 2021 15:49
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Dik Hz posted:I don't want to get into the argument about whether guns actually make you safer (CDC says they don't, by a large margin), but surely having two guns purportedly for defense is overkill. This is the part I'm talking about being out of scope (pun not intended), I'm not going to debate methods of self-defense with someone who buys into the Kellerman studies and likely has no understanding of the topic because it's a complete waste of breath. Or keystrokes, whatever. I'm already figuring out how to slim down my collection to the grandpa gun and those two. Well, also a .22 rifle that is worth about $100 (I think it might be the most common model of .22 ever made, made for about 60 years straight at this point) that's currently broken and needs $20+shipping in parts. I already sold two other guns in the past when I was having problems paying rent unfortunately, and they were two of my more valuable guns aside from the competition one I'm figuring out how best to sell. I've also got some ammo I might be able to sell, ammo prices have been very inflated since the pandemic started, I just need to round up everything and see what I have. I'm trying to think of any other valuables I have but I downsized a lot when I moved into this camper, throwing out a lot of stuff that I had been meaning to sell but hadn't gotten around to for 5+ years. The 3d printer would be worth $50-75 at this point because places have been dumping this exact model for $100 in preparation for the new one coming out. From that one project I mentioned I am almost saving that much. Computer, well, I use that for job applications, therapy appointments, psychiatrist appointments, studying, that all aside from the general relaxation aspect, so that feels important to me. My manager also comes to me first most of the time when there's OT opportunities because she knows I'm always up for it, but they're limited. poo poo, I completely forgot, I've got a fifth wheel hitch that has to be worth something, is there somewhere that stuff gets sold aside from just Craigslist? Should be worth at least a couple hundred, I don't know enough about them to know what influences value or what brands are better or anything. Not sure if there's anywhere in AI either that would cover that stuff. And a spare set of wheels for my Impreza, one is mismatched so it is probably worth less but I could still get something for them. I'll dig through my boxes of clothes as well and see what I have that's valuable. I've got a pair of Allen Edmonds somewhere that should be worth some money but a rural area where the work dress code is softshells and hiking boots isn't the best place to sell them so I'll probably have to put them on eBay or Grailed or something. 22 Eargesplitten fucked around with this message at 17:12 on Aug 25, 2021 |
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Aug 25, 2021 16:55
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22 Eargesplitten posted:This is the part I'm talking about being out of scope (pun not intended), I'm not going to debate methods of self-defense with someone who buys into the Kellerman studies and likely has no understanding of the topic because it's a complete waste of breath.
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Aug 25, 2021 17:24
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This is at an advanced level once keep habitually reinforcing the judgements you're trying to set up. Dig yourself out of this hole, and then absolutely consider moving to an area where you feel safe as LGBT+ person. This will make you: 1. Not make you feel like you need guns for protection 2. Have better options for roommates 3. If it's somewhere with decent transit, then you can ditch the car(s) and consider cheaper/alternative methods 4. Access to better food 5. Access to better mental health resources 6. Save your valuable life minutes by not spending your life in a car 7. More work opportunities and networking opportunities to get that DevOps job. 8. Live in a place where you can afford heat. Once you sell a lot of this stuff then you also don't have much to move. Moving presents you with an opportunity to reinvent yourself and strive towards being who you envision yourself to be. It also will give you a goal to work towards other than "make more money, someday". cheese eats mouse fucked around with this message at 17:35 on Aug 25, 2021 |
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Aug 25, 2021 17:32
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Dik Hz posted:The attitude that people who disagree with you do so because they have no understanding on the topic is proudly on display in this thread. And it likely informs both why you're in the position you're in, and why you're resistant to people trying to help. You have zero posts in any gun-related forum or thread here as far as I can tell, so I think it's safe to say you don't have any knowledge about the use of guns for self-defense, and the Kellerman discussion is one I'm not willing to have because I don't discuss gun control on these forums period. I found a site called Shipmygun that could ship that pistol from my small town in CO to a small town in GA for less than $40, so that makes this all a lot easier. cheese eats mouse posted:This is at an advanced level once keep habitually reinforcing the judgements you're trying to set up. Dig yourself out of this hole, and then absolutely consider moving to an area where you feel safe as LGBT+ person. This will make you: I have zero desire to move from where I am. 1) There would not be anywhere in the country (or world) that I would not have some concern about bigots and hate crimes, although I'm lucky in that I look to anyone that doesn't know me like a completely average straight redneck. This particular town is actually the safest-feeling place I've ever lived. And I've finally managed to realize my dream of living up in the mountains. I do not know how to express in words how good being up here has been for my mental health, and that's not an uncommon experience from what I've heard talking to people that live up here. It's peaceful in a way I never experienced anywhere else. 2) Better options for roommates had nothing to do with feeling safe as a LGBT person, that was before I came to terms with my sexuality when I was married to a woman. I'm just a terrible judge of character. 3) Decent transit in this country means big city and fuuuuuuucccckkkk no. Being in a big city is nice for a day or two but gets very overstimulating after a while and goes with much higher prices, especially if you want access to public transit. 4) I don't want access to better food, not having good restaurants makes it a lot easier to not waste money on restaurants. 5) I've already got access to teletherapy and telepsychiatry from Denver, and while I'm not sure if they will continue accepting new patients that way whenif COVID ends they will continue seeing existing patients like that. On the contrary, moving out of the state would mean I would have to find a new therapist and psychiatrist and it has taken me literally most of a decade to find a therapist I really click with. 6) I work remotely, I spend less time traveling than I ever did working in person. 7) I work remotely, last night I did some job hunting while at work and found 29 jobs to apply to once I have some people in SH/SC look at my resume. I actually have an initial call with a recruiter in less than 10 minutes, but I wasn't planning on bringing up job hunt related stuff in this thread until there's an offer because until the ink is dry it doesn't matter. 8) I can afford heat, that's not a concern. Even without winterizing the camper and with a dry spring that provided no snow insulation, I could afford it. It will actually be cheaper now. E: Seriously, with the new budget my living expenses (including stuff that could be further cut down on like restaurants and discretionary money) are $1,400 a month. Most places on the front range I'd be looking at 75% of that just for rent and utilities, most places in the mountains make that 80-90%. 22 Eargesplitten fucked around with this message at 17:56 on Aug 25, 2021 |
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Aug 25, 2021 17:53
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22 Eargesplitten posted:You have zero posts in any gun-related forum or thread here as far as I can tell, so I think it's safe to say you don't have any knowledge about the use of guns for self-defense, and the Kellerman discussion is one I'm not willing to have because I don't discuss gun control on these forums period. Please don't post like this. Just because people don't post in FMJ hillary's taking your guns megathread 2021 doesn't mean they don't know what they are talking about. It's also a great way to not actually address the points people are making. I have never posted in the eve online megathread yet I have an encyclopedic knowledge of that video game thanks to playing it for a good part of a decade in my adolescence.
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Aug 25, 2021 18:04
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22 Eargesplitten posted:You have zero posts in any gun-related forum or thread here as far as I can tell, so I think it's safe to say you don't have any knowledge about the use of guns for self-defense I don't have any posts either but I 1000% guarantee you I have more formal weapons training than you do. And experience. And I agree with what Dik Hz said. Stop being defensive. Stop thinking you know more than the people you are asking for advice or this is going to turn into  right quick.Everything you say sounds like a bunch of whiny excuses so you don't have to make any of the changes that actually need to be made. Like most of these threads, the real reason you're where you're at is because you need more therapy and to be honest with both yourself and your therapist(s). Nothing is going to change before that happens.
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Aug 25, 2021 18:24
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I definitely want financial advice. I am taking financial advice. I cut my budget down farther yesterday, today I've been making an inventory of everything I could sell to hopefully raise another 1.5-2k or so, but advice like "Move somewhere cheaper" is frustrating because I am in about the cheapest place I could be in this state while still being able to do my job and not being 3+ hours from anyone I know in the middle of a pandemic. Also, breaking a lease is not cheap. I was expecting to have to pay much more to support my ex-wife after the divorce so I put a lot of effort into finding the cheapest living situation I could. Again, if I can stick with my budget for 6 months, even without a promotion or new job (which I'm putting an hour or two at least each day into getting) I'll have that Discover paid off and a 2-month e-fund. Even sooner if I can sell all of the stuff I'm thinking of selling and can get the IRS to give me my stimulus check that they said they mailed in March. Motronic, IIRC you have that Porsche SUV so you can tow poo poo, do you have any advice on where to look to figure out how much this fifth wheel hitch that came with the camper is worth, and where to sell it? I'm seeing prices on CL for anywhere from $150-600 for fifth wheel hitches and I don't know how to tell how much mine is worth.
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Aug 25, 2021 18:37
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we got guns we got cars we got booze and vapes we got e/n, anybody have a bingo yet? So, thread was made two days ago, have you made any purchases since then? And if so, have you logged them in Financier? How does entering each transaction make you feel?
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Aug 25, 2021 18:46
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22 Eargesplitten posted:I definitely want financial advice. You need to understand that financial behaviors are first and foremost emotional behaviors and patterns. The advice you are being given is financial. You're just that far behind that it needs to start this deep down. Nobody's gonna talk about therapy when you're asking about 401(k) asset allocations. But you are slipping off a cliff into destitution right now. It's quite clear the largest component isn't financial. The financial distress is a SYMPTOM. I have no idea how much a random capacity/brand used 5th wheel hitch in unknown condition is worth.
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Aug 25, 2021 18:50
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Spokes posted:we got guns we got cars we got booze and vapes we got e/n, anybody have a bingo yet? No, no purchases. I'm kind of getting to like the feeling of refusing to give in to my impulses. I'll probably have to get groceries at some point before September though. I've got probably enough food to last another 4-5 days but not a full week. I've also been forcing myself to stop eating just because "hey I feel kind of hungry" because I'm terrible at managing portion sizes. I'm used to being completely loving broke where I can't afford to buy anything for myself, that has been most of my life. Surviving without spending money isn't the hard part, the hard part has been developing the self control to do so when I don't have to. Sorry, I wasn't asking you how much it was worth, I was asking if there's anywhere that's a good resource so I can learn something about them and figure out how much it should be worth myself. E: Actually I completely forgot I have a 2lb bag of lentils in the cupboard, I can probably make it to the new month without getting groceries.
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Aug 25, 2021 19:42
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hell man go ahead and buy groceries, playing the "how far under budget can I come" game is just a different kind of emotionally unwell financial behavior
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Aug 25, 2021 19:49
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22 Eargesplitten posted:You have zero posts in any gun-related forum or thread here as far as I can tell, so I think it's safe to say you don't have any knowledge about the use of guns for self-defense, and the Kellerman discussion is one I'm not willing to have because I don't discuss gun control on these forums period.
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Aug 25, 2021 20:02
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I seriously have plenty of groceries, I've got rice, beans, lentils, tuna, sandwich stuff, yogurt, salsa, cheese, carrots, tortillas. If I do run low/out of groceries I'll obviously go buy some, but I think I can make it through to the 1st, which will be a nice simple place to start tracking expenses.
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Aug 25, 2021 20:03
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22 Eargesplitten posted:I seriously have plenty of groceries, I've got rice, beans, lentils, tuna, sandwich stuff, yogurt, salsa, cheese, carrots, tortillas. If I do run low/out of groceries I'll obviously go buy some, but I think I can make it through to the 1st, which will be a nice simple place to start tracking expenses. aight go for it then
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Aug 25, 2021 20:04
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22 Eargesplitten posted:I'm used to being completely loving broke where I can't afford to buy anything for myself, that has been most of my life. Surviving without spending money isn't the hard part, the hard part has been developing the self control to do so when I don't have to. The latter is an outcome of the former. You've been conditioned to splurge where you can while the getting is good because of the constant uncertainty poverty puts on you psychologically. It also whittles at your willpower. It's just survival mode turned towards consumerism. It also can be a symptom of depression/depressive episodes. I still struggle with impulse buying and as you make more money the $$$ of those items will go up. Ask me about spending $700 on a jacket. The antidote is returning what you bought and selling what you don't use and forgiving yourself for your past gently caress ups. Clothes are my last struggle. I have a batch of returns coming to me in the mail. I say returns because immediately I was like "wtf you work from home and have plenty of nice things already".
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Aug 25, 2021 21:39
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Yeah, that's definitely true. Most of my excessive spending comes within at most a week from my paycheck and then I stop buying stuff because I'm afraid I'm going to run out of money before my next paycheck. It's strange, though, that feeling of denying myself something I want, it really does feel good but not in a masochistic way. Almost like discipline is something you have to exercise literally rather than grammatically because it reminds me of how it felt to lift weights. Which reminds me, I wanted to join a gym but I've got a 40lb weight set so I'll just figure out how to make the most of it, probably lots of one-handed exercises. I'd get better results at a proper gym but $60 a month or whatever it is is money I don't have right now. That and taking hikes should be plenty of exercise, I have a goal to get myself and my dog in shape to do a 5k hike before Winter hits. Exercise also makes me feel good, which should help avoid buying stuff for the pavlovian endorphin response. Between that, improving my diet, and figuring out stuff that distracts me from thinking about buying stuff I'm trying to take a holistic approach, which seems like the proper approach (on top of selling a bunch of poo poo). Agreed? I'm getting a little progress on the job hunt front already, but I'm not holding my breath. The salaries I'm seeing for the stuff I qualify for, or am close enough to qualifying for to go for it anyway, are near or above $100k per year which was a holy poo poo moment. I'm not getting my hopes up because I've had them dashed many times, and if I do get one I'm keeping the same budget at least until the high interest debt is paid off. I'll see about returning that textbook but it shipped from Prague so I'll need to see whether I need to pay to ship it back and if so how much it would cost, if it's going to be like $80 then dozens of nights absorbed in a book not even thinking about buying anything because of my (literal) autistic obsession with weapon design might be worth the $20. I can't return the sweaters because they were as-Is on Ebay, otherwise I would return the more expensive, $45 one because it's not like I need 2 by any stretch of the imagination. I will genuinely look into the policy for the book though though, I'm serious. I forgot to say I might also be getting a side gig related to being a gun design nerd, it's just a very slow-moving process and I don't know how much it would pay so I'm not factoring that in until I know for sure. I don't want to say more details than that because it would make me too easy to doxx and no offense but some goons can be psychopathic and I don't want to make it easier than it probably already is. Random thought: I would need to look through my grocery store transactions but I think my going pescetarian has cut down on my spending significantly, I should see if it has. I used to get deli baked chicken, that's not a thing anymore. I used to love beef jerky, which is expensive as hell, that's not a thing anymore. I'm offended by how a single portion of salmon is like $8 so I refuse to buy it, so really the only fish I eat if I'm not at a restaurant is canned tuna, which is like 80 cents a can. I'll look into my actuals for that tonight, it is much easier to track than trying to figure out what was what from Walmart or something. Here's my current to-do list, am I forgetting anything? Inb4 sell the car 1) Finish unsubscribing from everything, my ex still has my Netflix log-in so I want to let her know to find someone else to mooch off of. 2) Look into the return policy on the book that's getting here Friday 3) Figure out current value of the competition pistol plus its accessories, list it 4) Figure out current value of cheap pistol #1, list it 5) Find the missing part for cheap pistol #2, list it 6) Find expensive clothes in my boxes (Brooks Brothers shirts, Allen Edmonds shoes, Neiman Marcus Tuxedo Pumps), list them on eBay 7) Figure out how much the fifth wheel hitch is worth, list it on Craigslist and Facebook since shipping a 150-200lb item would be a literal pain. 8) Round up all the ammo I have, see how many unopened boxes I have, put them up for sale 9) See if my friend that owes me $75 can pay me back (he has done a huge amount for me in the past so I'm not worried about him flaking). 10) Find my grocery actuals, see if it's reasonable to cut it down, especially if I can cut more expensive things like salsa con queso and dried mango out of it.
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Aug 25, 2021 23:51
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In my opinion the list is "fine". It doesn't need to be optimal. But the storage space needs to be a priority also. I has to get gone because it's a monthly drain if you don't do anything about it. What you need to be doing is rewiring your brain for this, and working through that list should make you uncomfortable enough to know what you're up against.
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Aug 26, 2021 00:32
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Oh right, thanks. I'm trying to organize with my ex and her mother now to get them to meet me there on one of my days off so they can take the big furniture and any household stuff they want, then I take the rest either up with me or to the dump. I told her that it needs to be in September, I explained my situation as far as having a year and a half of my salary in debt and even she, who said "Everyone has debt" when we were together and I wanted to get rid of it, agreed that was bad. I'm optimistic that this will work out as her mother hates the idea of throwing anything potentially useful away so she will probably be eager to meet me so I don't throw away a perfectly good desk and recliner.
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Aug 26, 2021 00:55
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22 Eargesplitten posted:Oh right, thanks. I'm trying to organize with my ex and her mother now to get them to meet me there on one of my days off so they can take the big furniture and any household stuff they want, then I take the rest either up with me or to the dump. I told her that it needs to be in September, I explained my situation as far as having a year and a half of my salary in debt and even she, who said "Everyone has debt" when we were together and I wanted to get rid of it, agreed that was bad. This is something you need to not be nice about if they aren't being responsive/accommodating your timeline.
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Aug 26, 2021 01:18
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Go get anything that belongs to you that is useful or worth anything to sell. Tell them when you will no longer be paying the rent on the place (the end of the month you've gotten your stuff out). Offer them to opportunity to do continue to do so by saying they can call the storage place and take it over and you will confirm that they are fully responsible from the unit from that point on. Boundaries are important. Find out what will happen if there is still poo poo left in there in this scenario. Make sure you are not on the hook for anything.
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Aug 26, 2021 01:19
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Can you post on different local craigslist and local coffeeshop/ diner ad boards about a storage sale? It’s just a garage sale out of your storage shed. Set a date and tell any friends/family interested to hit you up before then. You can do it outdoors too. It sets a date for your peoples, yourself and starts putting money in your pocket. Don’t think about what you spent in the past on x and I can get y. The cash was already spent so you’re looking for what you can get *now* in *your area*. Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t haggle up or give away, just set a base price and if someone comes within that ballpark take it. IME, clothes don’t resell well unless online and have to be very nice, classic pieces, furniture depends on your market and what it is, records you have to put a lot of effort in but I’ve gotten some good sales. Another good check is we live in an age of abundance and if you look hard enough and wait you can find it used in excellent to good condition.
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Aug 26, 2021 04:01
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The issue with that is that the storage unit is 2 hours away, it's where I used to live before I moved up here. About 100-ish miles, so going to figure out what to sell for how much would be a whole day activity and cost me about $30 in gas. I'll call the dump and ask how much they charge per pound. If I thoroughly clean out my Impreza it holds a surprising amount with the seat folded flat, so if the big furniture is gone I should be able to get it without having to rent a truck. I get that a storage sale would normally be good, but with the extra time and travel involved it seems like it's not worth it. There's not much left in there aside from the furniture, I had gotten it when I was moving out without a lease on anywhere else so I pulled most of it out for furnishing future apartments. Off the top of my head I think there's one of those reclined lawn chairs, a wood futon frame, the recliner and desk, and a few boxes of clothes and kitchen stuff. I might borrow my friend's cordless circular saw so I can chop up the futon frame if need be to take it to the dump.
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Aug 26, 2021 04:17
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22 Eargesplitten posted:I'd kind of like a rice cooker so that I could make rice and beans/lentils at the same time while I'm at work because whenever I try to cook rice in a pot while I'm at work I burn the poo poo out of it, I'm a terrible cook. But I know I can't justify that at this point. Your stove probably has a timer somewhere on it. Your phone almost certainly has a built in timer(and if not, there's going to be a billion free timer apps around). Look at the packaging of the rice and follow the directions for how long to simmer it. Use the timer to make sure you don't get too zoned out to realize it's done. If the rice is still getting overdone, make a note of it(physical, if necessary) and set the timer shorter a minute or two at a time until you find the sweet spot for properly done rice. If you have a lovely electric stove you may also want to experiment with using seperate burners for the boiling and simmering step, since you're not likely to get the dramatic temperature changes the directions expect. This may sound pretty 'no loving poo poo' to you, but I emphasize the timer part because if your autism is anything like mine, forgetting about stuff while you're hyperfocused on one task(in this case, work) is an issue and having something beeping at you as a reminder is immensely helpful. And figuring out how to solve these issues without just throwing money at them is an important mentality to get into. 22 Eargesplitten posted:1) There would not be anywhere in the country (or world) that I would not have some concern about bigots and hate crimes, although I'm lucky in that I look to anyone that doesn't know me like a completely average straight redneck. This particular town is actually the safest-feeling place I've ever lived. And I've finally managed to realize my dream of living up in the mountains. I do not know how to express in words how good being up here has been for my mental health, and that's not an uncommon experience from what I've heard talking to people that live up here. It's peaceful in a way I never experienced anywhere else. quote:2) Better options for roommates had nothing to do with feeling safe as a LGBT person, that was before I came to terms with my sexuality when I was married to a woman. I'm just a terrible judge of character. quote:4) I don't want access to better food, not having good restaurants makes it a lot easier to not waste money on restaurants. quote:5) I've already got access to teletherapy and telepsychiatry from Denver, and while I'm not sure if they will continue accepting new patients that way whenif COVID ends they will continue seeing existing patients like that. On the contrary, moving out of the state would mean I would have to find a new therapist and psychiatrist and it has taken me literally most of a decade to find a therapist I really click with. quote:6) I work remotely, I spend less time traveling than I ever did working in person. quote:8) I can afford heat, that's not a concern. Even without winterizing the camper and with a dry spring that provided no snow insulation, I could afford it. It will actually be cheaper now. Motronic posted:You need to understand that financial behaviors are first and foremost emotional behaviors and patterns. The advice you are being given is financial. You're just that far behind that it needs to start this deep down. Nobody's gonna talk about therapy when you're asking about 401(k) asset allocations. But you are slipping off a cliff into destitution right now. It's quite clear the largest component isn't financial. The financial distress is a SYMPTOM. 22 Eargesplitten posted:The issue with that is that the storage unit is 2 hours away, it's where I used to live before I moved up here. About 100-ish miles, so going to figure out what to sell for how much would be a whole day activity and cost me about $30 in gas. I'll call the dump and ask how much they charge per pound. If I thoroughly clean out my Impreza it holds a surprising amount with the seat folded flat, so if the big furniture is gone I should be able to get it without having to rent a truck. 1)Make noises about throwing out the stuff in the storage unit so your ex's mom gets the 'get the poo poo out of the storage unit' date organized ASAP. 2)Do what Motronic said. It has the same basic result as 1, but requires more of a spine(I view this as a plus - working on boundaries and standing up to people is an extremely useful life skill). Also emphasizing the 'Find out what will happen if there is still poo poo left in there in this scenario. Make sure you are not on the hook for anything.' part if you go this route.
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Aug 26, 2021 05:25
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Motronic's idea is actually real good, I could grab the stuff other than the desk and chair, give them the key, if it's not out by the deadline it gets sold off by the storage unit company. I feel like her mom will work with me though. Her mother always liked me, and her family as a whole had sympathy for me dealing with her, I should have seen the warning signs but at the time I thought the problem was them. I think I have driven to the next town maybe 5 times over 6 months excluding when I'm driving through to go to the front range to see family/friends, to a vaccine clinic, where people were coming from 2+ hours away, and to visit a friend, which, well, it's not like he would move with me to a bigger town. Also goddamn it's a gorgeous drive and if tourists aren't clogging up the highway doing 40mph in a 60 it's the highlight of my day. As far as heat, I'm trying to figure out a way to get a wood stove in my camper without blowing my budget, I know where I could put it and some of them come with a chimney that I could just hole saw to get through the roof then Sikaflex to seal it and then probably have to pay a little more to cap it off, but around here firewood is just about free if you have access to a chainsaw, which I do, and it wouldn't take much to heat the whole place well. I'd have to stoke it every couple hours probably due to a properly sized one being small, but at night I could put it out and just use the space heater in my (very small) bedroom area. That would keep the heat bill around where it is now. I'd need to properly prep the floor as well, so I'm really not sure how to pull it off without blowing my budget, but it feels like it would pay for itself within a few months since there are ones for <$100. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, though, for now I'm just focused on sticking to the budget and studying and applying for jobs, and selling a ton of poo poo.
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Aug 26, 2021 06:51
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What happened with your divorce where you took all the debt and she took the car?
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Aug 26, 2021 17:13
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She (well, her father) bought out my share in the car, or at least what I thought that share would be before I found out how inflated car prices are these days, and in exchange for taking the debt which she would not have been able to pay anyway, I'm not paying alimony. The car was worth $6,000, I thought it was about $4,000 from a previous time I had looked up the value before the market went crazy from lack of computer chips. It's an '09 Toyota, so a perfectly nice car but not like it was worth $30k or something. E: I'm looking into putting the tires I meant for the SVX onto the spare set of wheels I have for the Impreza, just not sure if they will fit in the wheel wells, I need to figure that out. Then I can put the SVX away for the winter, which would be at least 6 months if not more in the mountains. And I spoke with my therapist less than an hour ago about the SVX, he said that it seems like as long as I'm not spending more money on it that I can't afford it's fine, because it's not like selling the car would instantly resolve it and it's reasonable to have a feeling of obligation to see a project through when you promised someone you would. 22 Eargesplitten fucked around with this message at 21:29 on Aug 26, 2021 |
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Aug 26, 2021 20:03
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