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fishception
Feb 20, 2011

~carrier has arrived~
Oven Wrangler
now?

wow

in

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fishception
Feb 20, 2011

~carrier has arrived~
Oven Wrangler
hi, for anyone watching at home, here's the link to mine

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1OorM-9IbD0m0iLR1h-L2yEOfB4FCjScRLkrJzalv9xs/edit?usp=sharing

fishception
Feb 20, 2011

~carrier has arrived~
Oven Wrangler
Bluff (1333 Words)

“You wouldn’t fuckin’ dare.”

“Absolutely the gently caress I would.”

A standoff between Reynolds and Candace was inevitable, some said, right from the beginning. Not a single moment passed that they weren’t quarrelling one second, consummating their passion the next, often with bystanders and innocents in the crossfires. Not a town in southwest Nevada hadn’t heard of the pair, with the absolute shitstorm they raised up in those parts. They generally targeted stagecoaches, usually folks shipping valuable cargo and hoping it wouldn’t get caught in the process, especially in the parts where the railroads hadn’t come yet.

The tricky thing with having a partnership like the two of them had, is that if something comes up, something so valuable as to inflame the greed of another, a wedge is driven between them, especially if that something was a diamond the size of a cat’s paw. Taken on delivery from Fresno, en route to Flagstaff, the papers lauding its discovery meant the whole Mojave knew that stagecoach was coming, and Reynolds and Candace had been the ones to nab it.

The robbery was easy, simple as catching them on the tail end of a raid by another group, a certain ‘Bart’s Banditos’ that rose up from a group of Confederate deserters. They’d known to stay far back and let bigger, meaner groups take on the veritable army of guards that tried in vain to protect the Cat’s Paw from theft, and what was left was bloodied, tired, and broken. Gunning down the last remaining few, they shot the driver clean out of his seat, before cracking the safe out and blasting it open with dynamite.

After the smoke cleared, there wasn’t a diamond to be seen, but Candace wasn’t deterred that easy. Grabbing an axe, she dismantled that stagecoach ‘til she found a hidden strongbox, and within was the object of desire of every lowlife in the Mojave, the Cat’s Paw diamond. Hung up on a gold chain that was spun like fine lace, it swung and captured the light, looking like a second sun there in the desert. Greed filled both of their eyes, and although they were quiet about it for now, the arguing had started, as it always had.

And so they were standing on the top of Beggar’s Bluff, Candace holding the diamond over the edge, mind racing as she looked down that slope at Reynolds, heavy iron weighing her wrist down in the form of a 6 cylinder revolver. Reynolds’ own, finely crafted and engraved, glinting in the high noon sun, was held with feigned ease. A dusty brown eyebrow twitching in the scorching summer heat. His voice, barely disguised anger leaking through, hissed like a rattlesnake tail.

“You BETTER not drop that fuckin’ diamond, Candace.”

“Or what?” A cocky grin was plastered across her face as she dangled the Cat’s Paw, mounted from a gold chain, ready to force the man she loved and hated at the same time to give up the diamond. She knew she had him by the balls, and wasn’t gonna let him be the one that had it. “You’re gonna shoot me with your shiny toy gun, Reyny? Right liable to blow your own foot off, you piece’a poo poo.”

She cackled for a moment at her joke, viper grin stretching across her face anew.

“Tell you what, honeybuns, you seem to love this diamond more than you love me, now doesn’t that seem odd, since we’re married? Ain’t you supposed to hold me highest or some other bullshit?” Her voice echoed with faux sadness turning into poison as her eyes shone a razor gleam, piercing into Reynolds’ own. Around her neck were a few thumbs of the lawmen that wanted her dead, or, did a while back, resting underneath a wild and frizzy mane of blonde hair.

Reynolds visibly rolled his eyes at the sight of his wife, his flame, the passion of his life once again trying to pull one over on him. This was bullshit and he had half a mind to shoot her on the drat spot if it weren’t for the fact that she put herself in situations like this that threatened a payday. She wanted to wear the diamond, while he wanted to sell it, it was that simple. His voice rose again, temper about to burst.

“Yeah, we’re loving married, but that’s no reason for you to be a FUCKIN’ BITCH.” He gritted his teeth, scowling at her, as he cocked the revolver’s hammer back, making his intentions more than clear. “Don’t be fuckin’ selfish, we can get all the pretty bullshit gems you want with the money!”

“Oh, yeah, like your revolver, huh? HAD to have it! It called to you! We didn’t sell it when we blasted that US Marshal and you got a shiny new toy. Well, I want one this time,” She almost spat out the word ‘I’, the venom dripping from her voice, before her voice rose in a mockery of his Alabama twang, “Caaandace, it’s callin’ to me.”

A sudden shot rang out as the dust near Candace puffed out, Reynolds putting a bullet between her feet in the gravel beneath. For her credit, she didn’t even flinch as she shot a bullet right through the hat on his head, sending it twirling off his head, before the two had their revolvers trained on each other in threat again. Over the heads of the two of them, a vulture circled, awaiting death so that it could feast.

It was only one of a flock that had gathered as men died in the stagecoach’s wake.

“You thought that was supposed to scare me, Candace?”

“Shut up, rear end in a top hat. You get your shiny little toy, I get a nice thing to wear while we steal cattle. That thing’s so engraved, it looks like it’ll break the moment anything looks at it funny. Same with this,” She grinned wickedly at him as she faked losing her balance, the Cat’s Paw diamond shaking around and scattering light brilliantly, calling out to him, “OoooOOOooo, I’m gonna sliiiiip Reyny baby!”, the aim of the gun remaining firmly rock steady on him the whole time.

Suddenly, from above, came a cry. With a swoop, the vulture came down from above and reached out its talons to clutch at the necklace, snatching it clean away from her hands and flying away, great wings flapping as it went. At an instant, the two of them swung their gun arms up to fire wildly towards the vulture as it fled, Cat’s Paw in tow. Round after round, hot lead filled the air as they cleared all 5 cylinders each, their anger and their frustration blown and burned in one moment of mutual loss.

They missed, each and every last bullet streaking the sky, but not a drop of blood shed.

Whipping their guns back around to face each other, Candace and Reynolds were back at it, pointing their guns at each other as if either of them had a single round left. Reynolds was the first to break, a smile starting to crack his lips as a low laugh started to come from his throat. Candace soon followed, low chuckles turning into howls of laughter, as the two of them lowered their guns and reveled at the utter absurdity of it.

Holstering their revolvers, they went to each other as only they could, because after every early spring storm came summer’s bounty. Embracing each other, they kissed, and all was forgiven. There are strange things that happen in the desert, and a trick by a vulture who craved gem and gold was hardly the strangest. Pulling away for a brief moment, Reynolds looked his wife in the eyes and said,

“I love you, darlin’.”

“Love you too, babe.” She flashed him a winsome grin, though a brief look of sadness flashed across her eyes. “Wish we had that diamond though.”

As they walked away, Reynolds smirked and simply said,

“We’ll get you another.”

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