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I have a collection of very lean judgeburps I can offer. Part 1: An Otter Predicament A whimsical, cute premise wrapped in a story that did not capitalize on that whimsical, cute premise. I found the action difficult to follow and the characters difficult to distinguish from one another. The dialog would have greatly benefited from another pass, as I found it mostly compounded my confusion. Bluff I quite enjoyed the first few paragraphs, actually. Got a chuckle from me, too. You started to lose my a bit later on. Looney Toons imagery of the fight was fun, but their argument didn't really land for me. Ending seems at odds with the fact that they were shooting each other over this diamond. The irony is there, just sans impact. We Will Not be Ok Good language here, very nice. gently caress I liked this. You had me for nearly all of this. I have questions about what we’re experiencing here but I’m ok with you not answering them. A little bamboozled at the end when all hell breaks loose - it was a little difficult to follow what all had been unleashed - but still on board. The Base of the Bluffs I had difficulty engaging with your main character and found Emily to be a bit flat, so my overall investment in their fate remained relatively low. I did think your prose was solid, and you had some nice imagery throughout. Bluff (2) This was competently written really very clear, which I think is commendable given how much was going on. My co-judges have articulated this far better than me, but I'll echo their sentiments about pacing and length. My sense is that you hoped to build some tension/mystery early on with the first bit of dialog with Gregori, but the Q&A around this ship's movements wasn't particularly compelling to me, and I think that was in no small part due to the length of this scene and the circular direction of the conversation. Drop I don’t know why “He’s wearing a wizard hat” made me lol, but it did. I said as much in the judgevid, but while I did think there was some lovely language in here, I struggled to follow the narrative. I didn't need explanations for everything that was going on (I think leaving much unspoken is fine), but a little more clarity around the specifics would have been nice. The Bluffalo This wasn't a story and you know that, but I was thoroughly entertained throughout. I'm a little mad because I wish it had been a wacky story about a Bluffalo doing what Bluffalos do, those wily jerks.
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Oct 11, 2021 01:45
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| # ¿ May 10, 2024 17:48 |
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