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Truly my best poops are Work Poops 
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Sep 10, 2021 18:30
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I like to use the bathroom on the first floor since it's the least populated floor in our office building, and usually around 10AM people aren't coming in. It's also the floor with the fewest male employees so I can use that one and take a really gnarly poo poo any no one will come in, usually. I hate someone walking in and using a urinal when I'm trying to release a nightmare from my body. That bathroom also has a fob key that's needed to get in since apparently the found a homeless dude sleeping in there one day that wandered in after hours and stayed there all night, which means even fewer people use it than the ones on the other floors that don't require keys.
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Sep 10, 2021 18:32
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Been told I have to return to the office from next week after a year and half of comfy WFH. I will definitely be taking payment for expelling at work.
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Sep 10, 2021 18:37
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hot cocoa on the couch posted:just followed up a morning coffee with a morning poop, felt great. making this thread in memoriam of piggy smalls, who died with his bosses shoe on his tongue and his co-workers poo poo stink in his nose Piggy smalls, more like capitalist pig boss (or boss's lackey) with small enjoyment of life due to not pooping at work. Wishing I had a job atm so I could poop on the clock. I think I might get one just so I can take a humongous dump as my first "work", just noisily poo poo my guts out until they fire me and I collect my one day's pay for a "job" well done. Either that or I could get a job as an, err, mentally challenged person masturbator and poo poo on the clock between hand beezys.
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Sep 10, 2021 18:38
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well, monday's here folks, and it's a pretty lovely day at work so far 
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Sep 13, 2021 12:49
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Doing it
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Sep 13, 2021 12:53
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I think I got one brewing but I need to have more caffeine to get the water works flowing. Please ignore my use of two different metaphors here.
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Sep 13, 2021 13:00
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We have a small unisex bathroom at work: 2 stalls. Took the air freshener from one of the stalls and peeled the label off Applied the air freshener label on similar sized air horn can and returned it to one of the stalls Went back to my desk and waited a few hours............
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Sep 13, 2021 13:15
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Mne nravitsya posted:We have a small unisex bathroom at work: 2 stalls. every good bathroom needs a loud as gently caress "I HAVE POOPED" alarm
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Sep 13, 2021 13:18
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That’s already built in, you just slam the lid shut
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Sep 13, 2021 14:00
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I work nights and there are like 5 other people on my shift, and my plant has two gendered bathrooms with multiple stalls and two unisex executive suites outside the bosses' offices. I love those unisex bathrooms.
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Sep 13, 2021 14:18
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I work from home, and am currently pooping while working with the laptop on my lap. honestly if every business promoted pooping while working they'd boost employees' morale
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Sep 13, 2021 14:30
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Working in the office is 100% voluntary, so I'm one of like five people who comes here on a regular basis, which can make work poops kind of awkward. That said, I've done it at least twice since the office opened up in April. Period poops are rough.
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Sep 13, 2021 16:20
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Hell yes. Pooped at work!
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Sep 13, 2021 18:11
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Scrotum Modem posted:I work from home, and am currently pooping while working with the laptop on my lap. honestly if every business promoted pooping while working they'd boost employees' morale I also came to ask how can I replicate making GBS threads from work if I work from home. It's such shame walking the halls of my home, my sanctum, knowing that I have poo poo into my own toilet- the very place a desecrated bowl of my fowl stench. 
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Sep 13, 2021 20:23
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YeahTubaMike posted:Period poops are rough. I *knew* women pooped out the front! Ha! Vindication!
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Sep 13, 2021 21:43
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my job IS poop
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Sep 13, 2021 22:16
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Bloodfart McCoy posted:I work from home now and it’s not nearly as satisfying as making GBS threads in the office. 
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Sep 13, 2021 22:20
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My friend who is a chemical engineer at a toilet paper factory told me they had to do massive changes to their infrastructure because the pandemic completely inverted the cheap "for work" vs soft "for home" toilet paper sales figures. Apparently a really simple and great thing you can do for the planet is buy recycled TP.
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Sep 13, 2021 22:32
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bradzilla posted:pooping at work sucks, there are no bidets Just don’t wipe and have a shower when you get home
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Sep 13, 2021 22:47
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Great thread to bring back OP Glad we ran that other sleazeball off the forums
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Sep 14, 2021 18:38
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I Will Not Have My Poops Policed
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Sep 14, 2021 18:48
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hot cocoa on the couch posted:I Will Not Have My Poops Policed it's ok to poop ON police figuratively, at least
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Sep 14, 2021 18:55
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Smugworth posted:Great thread to bring back OP What? I think he's still around. He last posted yesterday. When I was searching for him, I found that in 2019 he posted this thread about being 51 and perving on younger women. https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3900454 What a loving creep. Also,  that 
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Sep 14, 2021 18:56
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 the saga continues to unfold...
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Sep 14, 2021 18:58
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Lmfao yikes. In better news I pooped at work today.
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Sep 14, 2021 19:15
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Rod Hoofhearted posted:When I was searching for him, I found that in 2019 he posted this thread about being 51 and perving on younger women. Hoo boy, that sure is something. 
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Sep 14, 2021 19:15
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Sat down to poop at work Farted loudly Back to the grind
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Sep 14, 2021 20:47
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When my boss wants to assign you an extra duty (lol doodie) around the restaurant, 99 times out of 100 it's just "I need you to do X," very rarely any variation of "if you get a minute could you please do X?" I was tired of dealing with his poo poo (lol poo poo) today, didn't have to actually poop at work, but I definitely went in the single occupancy restroom and took an extra ten minute break. Also happens to be the first vent in the HVAC, so it was nice and cool in there.
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Sep 14, 2021 23:33
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Try pissing behind dumpsters. Being a trucker is great.
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Sep 15, 2021 00:49
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You know you work for absolutely worthless people at a dogshit job based on how much u retreat to the bathroom during any given shift I had one job where I barely every did it which was astonishing
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Sep 15, 2021 00:55
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Legit if ur an employer and it seems like your employees are in the bathroom for long amounts of time it's because you suck poo poo and your work environment is garbage and it's your fault lol
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Sep 15, 2021 00:56
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:Legit if ur an employer and it seems like your employees are in the bathroom for long amounts of time it's because you suck poo poo and your work environment is garbage and it's your fault lol this guy gets it. lil swamp booger baby for employer of the year
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Sep 15, 2021 00:57
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Seems like someone should come up with an app for people that WFH. When you go take a poo poo in your own bathroom, you launch the app and it randomly pairs you with a person who is also logged in and making GBS threads. You two can hear all the wonderful noises that accompany making GBS threads next to a co-worker. Hell, why not have the options to leave a star rating too! "ShyPooper92 was great! He was quiet and didn't hum or anything! 5 stars!"
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Sep 15, 2021 00:59
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I hum because I need to reach a certain frequency before I’m able to take a complete poo poo.
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Sep 15, 2021 01:03
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I usually just plug my ears with my fingers to ignore the awkwardness. It's not pretty but it gets the job done.
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Sep 15, 2021 01:08
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Why do we need an app when we have this thread?!
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Sep 15, 2021 01:16
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I love when I'm contracted out of the office. I get to poop on two companies time! The place I'm at now has 2-ply!
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Sep 15, 2021 01:59
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We HAD two-ply toilet paper but we don't anymore, I'm guessing because so many people work from home that the company figures two-ply isn't worth the extra expense. It sucks.
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Sep 15, 2021 02:33
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YeahTubaMike posted:We HAD two-ply toilet paper but we don't anymore, I'm guessing because so many people work from home that the company figures two-ply isn't worth the extra expense. It sucks. Jokes on them, when places switch to single ply people just use twice as much.
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Sep 15, 2021 03:01
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