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Hey, everyone! This is the third LP in a series - both the first (Let’s Play Advance Wars) and the second (Let’s Play Advance Wars 2) can be read on the archive, which should give you an idea of how I play Advance Wars. The primary thing you ought to know is that I play the games whilst trying to minimise casualties, similar to Fire Emblem, as I have named and characterised every single generic soldier I deploy. The other important thing to note is that the player character from the first game, named ‘my dude’, has continued to reappear throughout the games. As of the end of Let’s Play Advance Wars 2, he’s now married to Nell, and one of the lead strategists of the Allied Nations. This LP can be enjoyed even without having read the previous ones, but to see where all of these characters came from and how they’ve grown over the years, please do check out the previous LPs. Alright, that’s all. Updates are every Friday, and I’ll update you if the schedule ever changes, and each update contains a link at the end providing a bit of extra characterisation and content for the generic soldiers. Think Fire Emblem’s support conversations. Please enjoy! *** Part 0 - "Contents" The room is filled with a quiet buzz of chatter as Nell, and many other heads of state, gather to discuss the coming problem; the return of Black Hole, so swiftly after their previous defeat. As the clock reaches nine, Nell clears her throat and organises some files. “...Not here yet.” she mutters to herself, sighing. “I don’t know why I’m surprised. Anyway, welcome, everyone. I think we’re all in agreement that Black Hole needs to be swiftly done away with.” “Of course.” another woman says, adjusting her glasses. “Question is, Commander Nell, can we afford to send any of our troops and COs over? I know you suggested sending the Orange Star 11th Division, but we’d need someone to lead them. We can’t really spare any of our COs right now.” “Not to mention that mobilising all those troops and getting them to Omega Land would be an expensive operation. Our military budget’s stretched thin as it is.” Nell shakes her head. “We have to do something, and quickly. The 11th Division contains some of Orange Star’s finest soldiers - they’ve fought Black Hole before.” “Pardon my brusqueness, but you’re not listening to us, Commander Nell.” a man says from across the table. Nell gives him a venomous glare, but he presses on, unabashed. “Don’t you think it’s possible that you’re overreacting to this threat because your sister is out there currently?” “I…” Nell says. “No. Even if it weren’t Rachel out there, I’d still want to send backup. Orange Star’s territory in Omega Land is vital, and Black Hole is dangerous when left unchecked. I can assure you, if we don’t act quickly, Macro Land will be next.” “I’m inclined to agree. I’ve seen firsthand what Black Hole are capable of. I just wonder who’s in control now. You think it’s Hawke?” “It must be. I’m still lacking intelligence, though.” Nell replies. “So, those in favour of sending the 11th Division to Omega Land?” There’s a smattering of discussion, but eventually, more than half the table raise their hands in agreement. Nell nods and takes a note. “Another question, Commander Nell.” says a woman. “Which CO are you thinking of sending with the 11th Division?” “For now, nobody. Once they’re available, I’ll send a few of our top COs.” Nell replies. “It shouldn’t be long, and in the meantime, there’s someone else I can send.” “You mean… him? Really?” “Really.” Nell says, raising an eyebrow. “Got a problem with that?” “No, ma’am!” comes the reply from in unison. The door to the meeting room crashes open, revealing a young man wearing a black, sweeping longcoat emblazoned with a red star on the right shoulder, listening to eurobeat music blasting through his headphones and trying to drink a scalding coffee from a takeaway cup. Everyone in the room turns to face him, and as he sips his coffee, some of it dripping down his top, he gives them an awkward wave. “Uh, hey. Why are you all looking at me like that?” “Commander my dude.” Nell says, giving him a wry smile. “Black Hole’s back. Want to have another crack at them?” My dude’s eyes light up. “Oh, finally, something interesting is happening!” *** The Allied Nations: Soldier Overview *** Arc 1: The Occupational Hazards Of Being Rachel's Brother-In-Law Part 1 (Battle) - Dear Diary, My Sister-In-Law Doesn't Like Me Part 2 (Intermission) - Reunion in Omega Land Part 3 (Battle) - The Man With No Goddamn Medium Tanks Part 4 (Intermission) - Overflowing Confidence Part 5 (Battle) - And Here’s Why My Dude Shouldn’t Be Allowed To Call Airstrikes Part 6 (Intermission) - The Imbalance Of Time Part 7 (Battle) - Finally, Some Good loving Selena Part 8 (Intermission) - The Mercenaries Meet Again Part 9 (Battle) - gently caress Fog And Everyone Who Likes It Part 10 (Intermission) - In Solemn Service Part 11 (Battle) - Bombers Are The Reason I Get Up In The Morning Part 12 (Intermission) - Tell Me Honestly Part 13 (Battle) - The Most Irritating Chip Damage Ever Taken Part 14 (Intermission) - The Impenetrable Part 15 (Battle) - The Black Arc Was Probably A Waste Of Money Part 16 (Intermission) - Glorious Victory Arc 2: Bigger Tanks And Fierce Rivals Part 17 (Battle) - Kindle’s Guide To Not Giving A poo poo About Hiding Intel Part 18 (Intermission) - On The Cards Part 19 (Battle) - Just loving Book It Part 20 (Intermission) - A Life Apart Part 21 (Battle) - The Subtle Art Of The Surprise Anti-Air Part 22 (Intermission) - Sleepless Night Part 23 (Battle) - Apply Tanks To Burned Area Part 24 (Intermission) - Yellow Reunion Part 25 (Battle) - My Dude Vs. Rose Kuroda Part 26 (Intermission) - The Measure Of A Man Part 27 (Intermission) - An Allied Nations Christmas Part 28 (Intermission) - Back To Our Regularly Scheduled War Part 29 (Battle) - There Is An Excess Of Tanks In This Area Part 30 (Intermission) - Think Before You Speak Part 31 (Battle) - Just Let Me Have The God Damned Airport Part 32 (Intermission) - Surpassing All Expectations Part 33 (Battle) - Three Useful Bombs And Six Unnecessary Ones Part 34 (Intermission) - The Bet Part 35 (Battle) - Return Of The Tankslayer Part 36 (Intermission) - By The Goddess’ Will Part 37 (Battle) - The Mask Cracks Part 38 (Intermission) - Race For The Title Arc 3: On The Wrong Side Of History Part 39 (Battle) - I’m Confiscating Your CO Meter, Kindle Part 40 (Intermission) - A Direct Discussion Part 41 (Battle) - An Endless Slog With An Anticlimactic Conclusion Part 42 (Intermission) - The Lovestruck Part 43 (Battle) - New Contenders For The Best Units In The Game Part 44 (Intermission) - Four Fingers On The Guitar Part 45 (Battle) - This Victory Cost Two Entire Aircraft Carriers Part 46 (Intermission) - Once Like You Part 47 (Battle) - The Grey Goo Scenario Never Accounted For Megatanks Part 48 (Intermission) - Fogbound Part 49 (Battle) - Hot Single Man-Eating Ooze In Your Location Part 50 (Intermission) - Dimitri’s Shadow Part 51 (Battle) - Around 51 Screenshots Of Oozium Being Shot At Part 52 (Intermission) - The Fires Of Ambition Part 53 (Battle) - I’m Here To Break Crystals And Save The Director, And I’m All Out Of Director Part 54 (Intermission) - Orange Star’s Heart Part 55 (Battle) - This Black Bomb Has Crippling ADHD Part 56 (Intermission) - Desert Heat Part 57 (Battle) - Jake Punches A Bro Copter Five Times Part 58 (Intermission) - The Victory Feast Arc 4: The World's Greatest Strategist Part 59 (Battle) - You Are Not Allowed To Blow Up Your Own Pipe Seams Part 60 (Intermission) - On A Night Like This Part 61 (Battle) - Putting The “Surprise” Into “Surprise Rockets” Part 62 (Intermission) - The Biggest Girl’s Night Part 63 (Battle) - Never Trust A Tank To Do A Bomber’s Job Part 64 (Intermission) - Being Something Else Part 65 (Battle) - Several Copters Were Harmed In The Making Of This Update Part 66 (Intermission) - Over A Drink Part 67 (Battle) - Around The Island In 13 Days Part 68 (Intermission) - The Meaning Of A Flower Part 69 (Battle) - The Fury Of The Kingmaker Part 70 (Intermission) - Black Hole Weekly Report Part 71 (Intermission) - Von Bolt’s Secret Project Part 72 (Intermission) - The Night Before Part 73 (Battle) - Will The Real My Dude Please Stand Up? Part 74 (Intermission) - Approaching The End Part 75 (Battle) - Market Crash Is Incredibly Fair And Balanced Part 76 (Intermission) - Seeking Forgiveness Part 77 (Battle) - Eat A Bag Of Dicks, Auto CO Part 78 (Intermission) - Better Than You Think Part 79 (Battle) - With The World On His Shoulders [Part 1] Part 79 (Battle) - With The World On His Shoulders [Part 2] Part 80 (Intermission) - Vainglorious Ascension Part 81 (Intermission) - Their Finest Hour: Results + Credits cosmicPostman fucked around with this message at 09:57 on Dec 9, 2022 |
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Sep 24, 2021 13:34
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Part 1 (Battle) - Dear Diary, My Sister-In-Law Doesn’t Like Me Oh, boy, here we go. All-new game, all-new fun. I've missed this.  Well, it's a DS game, as you can tell.  And we're moving on to a third land...  OMEGA LAND. Sounds scary.  And some new COs. This is Rachel, who, uh, isn't a fan of me.  And this is Jake. Never met the guy. I think he came to the wedding?  Either way, welcome, everyone, to Advance Wars: Dual Strike! The third game in the series, and as usual, I'm your host, Commander my dude of Orange Star.  So, hey, let's get started, shall we? I'm excited to kick things off.  And me. I helped too.  That's... concerning. Yeah, it's only been a few months since I defeated Sturm. Or since Hawke loving murdered Sturm, I should say.  We're the Allied Nations now! Why do I get the feeling I'm still going to end up fighting the other countries as 'practice' or 'mock battles'..?  Anyway, here's our new map, and a first mission. I just arrived in Omega Land so I have absolutely no idea what the situation is.   Don't you worry about me, Sis. You've got your hands full over in Macro Land. We may not have a big presence here in Omega Land, but we're not alone. With all four of the Allied Nations working together, Black Hole's no match for us! I'm glad to hear that. Still, I've sent a few of our COs over to give you a hand. Just hang in there until they can arrive, and don't do anything rash, OK?If she's sending Dipshit, I'm quitting. I've got it, Sis! My Omega Land COs can take anything Black Hole dishes out. Hah! I know, I know. And with you in the field, I got nothing to worry about. I don't think I'll be able to join you, though. That's why I'm sending the next best thing. Wait, Sis, you don't mean--you can't send HIM! He's an idiot! I know you've not been awfully fond of him, but he'll be a big help, and his soldiers are some of the best. ...Think of it as a chance to bond with him! Please just cancel his flight. I can take care of Omega Land without him! Um, well... he left hours ago. He's probably already there. Oh, for--alright, fine. I'll play nice for now. He is still just an ACO, though. That means you're in charge of field training any new COs, all right? Got it! Good. That is all, soldier! And by the way, don't call me "Sis," not when the other COs might hear. Oh, yeah. That might get them wondering about your age! Hey! That's not what I'm saying at all!Nell's age is a very well-kept secret, to be fair. She didn't tell me for months. I have my orders, Commander Nell! I'll take care of everything. Rachel, signing out! ...Click. ... So Commander Nell is your sister? Yep. We both enlisted about the same time, but my big s-- I mean, Commander Nell's smarter than me, so she rose through the ranks fast. Luck had something to do with it, too.Well, she did sort of singlehandedly help me defeat Sturm the first time around, which probably helped a lot. Naw, you're razor sharp, Rachel. I guess I haven't been much of anywhere, but I haven't met anyone smarter. Ha! Take one step out of Omega Land, you'll be tripping over COs with way more skill than me! But listen, Jake, Omega Land is in very real danger. And we can't count on getting backup from Macro Land anytime soon. But what about my d-- I know what I said.: ( We can't even be sure where all of our allied COs are now, either. You and me are the only ones left to stop the enemy, Jake. Sounds like our backs are up against the wall.The music's pretty cheery to say you're in such a desperate situation. All in all, you're taking this pretty well. You're not worried? Naw. Well...yeah. Maybe a little. But with you rollin' beside me, I know it's all good. Don't even think I'm doing all the work. You're going to have to pull your weight! Hm. Looks like my dude just arrived, with some troops in tow. In that case... It's time to start training. I'm warning you, though, I'm not going to go easy on you. What?! Oh, let me turn my music down. Yeah, cool... I'm listening. Who's my dude going to be working with? Certainly not me! Oh, I can see we're off to an excellent start... Nice to see you too, sister-in-law. Alright, let's begin the first mission. I'm just really hoping Jake's not... well, not Dipshit, basically. Oh, right, deployments for this mission: Today's Deployments Rin, Infantry Alfonse, Mech Dave, Tank Rin Fisher Age: 20 Personality: Joyful and extremely friendly. Proficiencies: Infantry, Anti-Air, Tank, Artillery Alfonse Age: 20 Personality: Laid-back soldier, always helpful. Proficiencies: Infantry, Mech, Battle Copter, Anti-Air Dave Ruston Age: 25 Personality: Gruff but kind-hearted soldier. Proficiencies: Infantry, Mech, Tank, Medium Tank We all know these guys. They're back!  Day 1. Ah, it's all coming back to me now. The map, the units-  The loving tutorials The blue units are mine. They're on special loan from Blue Moon's army. Oh, poo poo, is that Dimitri's Mercenaries? The real enemy is Black Hole, so their units will be black. Don't forget!Rachel proceeds to tutorialise us on the Advance Wars basics - select units, move 'em around, attack stuff, get the first strike, so on and so forth. If you've read LPAW and LPAW2, you already know the drill.  Evidently Rachel has not seen Dave or Vanessa take out a tank. Infantry are capable of some stupid poo poo if they get lucky.  "Well, if it ain't Rin Fisher." Dave says as he wheels his tank towards the enemy. "They let you transfer to the ground units division, then?" "Yup!" Rin replies, beaming and waving at Dave. There's traces of her lisp, but it's very rare these days. Her elocution is almost perfect. "It's nice to see you both again!" Alfonse nods. "Fighting Black Hole again... it's like nothing's changed." On the other side of the field, the tank that Dave is approaching opens up, and Dimitri's head pokes up from the top of it. He gives the group a daring grin. "One thing's changed, don't you think. We're the Allied Nations now!" "Very true - but don't think I'm gonna hold back, even if this is a mock battle!" Dave replies. "Here it comes!" "Brace yourself, Dimitri." Boris warns, narrowing his eyes. "These goons aren't messing around."  The tank takes some damage, bringing it down to about half HP. "That's the way I like it." Dimitri says, licking his lips. "The thrill of battle... here we are again." The Blue Moon soldiers, members of the division known as Dimitri's Mercenaries, are famed for their strength and unity, so Dave's excited to try his hand at fighting against them. Rin frets as she watches the tanks do battle, until Alfonse puts his hand on her arm. "Remember, that's Dave you're watching. He's going to be fine. The practice weapons are harmless." "I know, I know, I'm just worried. I haven't seen him in a couple of months, after all!" "Mm, it's been a while since we saw the naval division." Alfonse replies. "I'm glad to see you though, Rin. Everybody's missed you, you know!" "Oh, goodness, don't say that... well, I've missed everyone as well!"  Rin races off to capture a property. It's not super useful for this very short battle, but hey, it's something for Rin to do.  Alfonse heads forward to finish off the tank. I attacked with Dave first since he takes less counter damage than a paper-thin mech does - that means Alfonse can finish Dimitri off without taking any counterattacks.  The COs comment on what's happening now, which is kinda cute. This is probably why I'm not a CO, if I had to comment on losing a unit, it'd likely just be "gently caress". Y'know, speaking of the COs, I've not actually checked their dossiers. Let's take a look at who we're dealing with.  Well, any CO that's good at tanks is a great CO in my book. And he's not said anything incredibly stupid yet, so hey, we might have a starting CO I actually like for once!  I... don't know what these are, but whatever they are, we don't have any. I presume we'll find out later.  ...Wait. Firing range of vehicles? As in, tanks? Ranged tanks? Holy poo poo, Jake might actually be amazing. Combining the two best units in the game (which as everybody knows are medium tanks and artilleries, and if you disagree I'll fight you) sounds absolutely hilarious. I have to try this at my earliest convenience - unfortunately, this mission doesn't have enough going on to fill up my CO meter.  No damage buffs or debuffs either way. I suppose the damage increase on the plains is conditional, so it's not included here. That's interesting as a concept, though - plains have little defensive value, so the damage increase means it's high-risk, high reward. I attacked from the forests to avoid the counter damage, but I wonder if I can use plains to my advantage for Boris and Ivan?  ...Nell 2.0, I see.  Well, the Super CO Power is interesting, sounds similar to fuckin' Meteor Strike, which is kinda wild. The normal CO Power sounds identical to Nell's though, if I'm remembering correctly. Nell's is just a big luck-based damage boost, right?  No firepower changes here, either. Rachel's not got any skills either, so I still have no idea what they are. I'm very curious.  Day 1 for the enemy forces! You will never loving guess what the infantry units do. Go on. Guess.  This dick, is, indeed, capturing a property. The more things change, the more they loving don't.  Right, our turn. Let's beat Ivan and Boris and get out of here. This map's no challenge now that Dimitri's out of the way.  god drat it stop talking I've taught you the basics of combat, so feel free to move however you want. If you want to know more about a unit or terrain type, tap it to move the cursor, then check the top screen to see in-depth intelligence. Don't forget!That's the stuff on the right - all the information we need about wherever our cursor is looking. One thing I will say about Rachel: so far her tutorial is much more concise than her sister's. Get ready to roll. And don't you dare hold back--I'll know if you're going easy on me! You heard the girl, Jake. All-out offensive! All right! I won't pull any punches! Rin captures a thing in the meantime. Like I said, not much for her to do. Dave and Alfonse can deal with the enemies on their own.  Like so.  Alfonse can finish Ivan off, no problem. He bows out of the battle with a sly smile. "Ah, man, you got me. Guess that means I can go for an early lunch. Nice seeing you again, gents."  Meanwhile, Boris...  This Dick Captures A Property: 1 Yes, I am going to count them all. (Until it gets boring and/or I lose count, which could easily happen.)  You might think that Boris being on a city and having 3 defence stars is a problem, but...  Our damage output is still good - because we're attacking from the plains, and getting Jake's damage boost. So yeah, the city's doing nothing for poor Boris right now.  Finish it, Alfonse. We're done here. Oh, and in case you were wondering-  -yes, the units still violently explode when defeated. Yes, it's still silly when it happens to non-vehicles.  You may be young, but you've definitely got what it takes to be a great CO. You were born for the battlefield. Hey, I helped! who are you Yeah, you think so? Sweet--that means something coming from you, Rachel. You've got good instincts, and I'm going to personally make you one of the best. I will begrudgingly admit that you are not as awful as Dipshit. Dip...who? There are going to be some tough times ahead, so just stick with me. You know I will!Rachel's a pretty competent CO trainer, I will say. Reminds me of when I trained under Nell a few years back. Man, has it been that long already..?  An easy, unsurprising S rank. I'm certain these are going to become harder as we go.  Jake got some... exp? Points? I dunno, but he has 300 of them, anyway. No change in rank, though.  Pfft- loving... oh my god. Welp, he said something stupid. Down to Dipshit tier you go, Jake.  And we're STILL going through the victory screens. A reminder of who won and who lost, and more points. Or the same points? I don't know. This, I presume, is campaign score, which is different from individual CO points.  And an overview of units created, and units lost. That was blank so I didn't screenshot it. I don't think it will be missed.  OK, NOW we're done with ending screens. I'll probably skip most of those besides the rank in future. You do get little fireworks on the map, though, that's cute.  Anyway, that wasn't much of a fight, and I'm still in the mood for some strategy, so let's just do the next mission whilst we're all here.  Understood. We'll head to the battlefield right away. Have we taken casualties? Our infantry has taken sporadic fire, but the enemy force is fairly small. Wait, is this in the western sector? Oh, poo poo, my scouts were out there! I see. Well, we've got to get in there and rescue those grunts. Grunts? I'll have you know they are PEOPLE and they're cooler than you. So, I heard some Black Hole forces wanna rumble? Yes, they've progressed much farther and faster than I'd anticipated. I'd hoped to get some more training in, but you have to play what you're dealt. Yeah, but there aren't that many enemy units. Just kick back and give me some tips while I mop these guys up. That's the spirit, Jake! Sounds like we've got ourselves a plan. OK, move out! Turns out black was the new black the whole time. Are you surprised? I sure am. Deployments this time: Today's Deployments Fleur, Infantry Michael, APC Fliss, Tank Lucy, Artillery Ingo, Artillery Fleur Age: 35 Personality: Refined and beautiful supporter. Proficiencies: Transport Copter, APC, Infantry, Lander Michael Age: 23 Personality: Sarcastic but well-meaning pacifist. Proficiencies: APC, Transport Copter, Lander, [unknown] Fliss Age: 21 Personality: Top-notch sharpshooter, nervous combatant. Proficiencies: Infantry, Tank, Anti-Air, Recon Lucy Ophelia Maxwell Age: 18 Personality: Everybody’s favourite bomber pilot. Proficiencies: Bomber, Fighter, Artillery, [unknown] Ingo Age: 19 Personality: Devoted to his friends. Proficiencies: Artillery, Tank, Bomber, Rockets  What the gently caress is that.  Yes, sir! If we capture that nearby HQ, our conquest of Omega Land will be complete."Which is why we're sending just three tanks to do the job." The enemy resistance has been pathetic, hasn't it, Commander Jugger? Information: The enemy being in shambles is likely down to Madam Director aiding us. Oh, of course. The Director knows this place better than any of us, after all. Query: Are we inside Orange Star territory? Looks like it, sir. Purge enemy from memory. Understood! Well, good to see nothing in Black Hole has changed.  Those guys aren't going to last long unless we get there fast! Yeah, we've gotta get poor Fleur out of there! It's all good--I'll just send my tank to rescue them. Whoa, whoa, whoa! I know you're hard to beat when you're on the plains, but... You've only got one tank unit, so you can't win a head-on attack. You must destroy every enemy unit, and you'll lose if your infantry falls. You've got some new units to try out, so let's put them to work. Go ahead and select a unit.Rachel proceeds to explain artilleries (ranged units, can't move and attack) and APCs (carry foot units). It was incredibly interesting.  "Oh, mon dieu, I need to retreat..." gasps Fleur as she reaches the neutral cities at the river's edge. "The tanks were too much for me..." "S-sister!" Fliss says, gearing up her tank. "I'm c-coming to get you..!"  "It's alright, Fleur, I'm here. Hop in!" Michael says, and Fleur doesn't think twice before she rushes towards the APC, always a sight for sore eyes in the Orange Star army.  As he drives back, he meets Fliss on the road and gives her a friendly wave. "Fliss, I'll keep her safe. You get up there and meet any tanks that make it past the defensive line." "Who's the defensive line..?" asks Fliss. The transceiver crackles to life, and a delighted laugh issues from it.  "Who else but Lucy Ophelia Maxwell, and her delightful boyfriend Ingo!" "Delightful?" Ingo sighs. "Couldn't I get a slightly more badass adjective?" "Maybe!" trills Lucy. "Let's see if you're a better shot than me - I've been training with the artilleries quite a lot lately!" "Tanks spotted on the other side. I'll take them out, no problem. You just try to keep up with me, Luce!" Michael chuckles to himself as he puts the transceiver down. "They're the same as ever, I see. I'm sure they've got it under control up there." "I hope so..." murmurs Fliss. Whilst these guys are having their fun reuniting and fighting Black Hole, I'm gonna check out Jugger. I'm curious.  Oh, so he's kinda like Flak, then. I'm pretty sure this was Flak's exact gimmick.  Yeah, and these were his CO Powers, weren't they? drat it, Jugger, you've got to be original to stand out.  No changes here, either.  Anyway, it's his turn. The tanks have a lot of difficult forest terrain to pass through, so it's gonna take them a turn or two to get through. And during those turns, they'll be in range of Ingo and Lucy, so... yeah. Not ideal for poor Jugger, really.  Right into my artilleries' waiting clutches. You fool. You poor, computery fool, Jugger.  Identify enemy commander. He's, uhhh...a young guy. Profile matched: Andy of Orange Star?Shh! If you don't mention him, he won't appear in the game. Or so I'm hoping. No, sir. It doesn't seem to be him. Hey, Black Hole chumps! You think you're all bad, stealing people's stuff? File not found... You are...an Orange Star CO? You know it! Now answer me! Reply irrelevant. Reserving energy for current task: splitting you like an atom.Oh poo poo, what a great line. gently caress it, Jugger's my new favourite Black Hole CO. You're in Orange Star's house now, and you're going down! Attack. Attack. Attack. Welp, only thing to do is attack.  Unfortunately none of the tanks are in Lucy's range right now, so she can't fire. We get Fleur back to the HQ in the meantime - thanks, Michael.  So let's see what this loser does about this situation.  He... joins his tanks. To restore their HP. And taking up their turn. So they're still in range of Ingo and Lucy. Genius.  Ingo, Lucy, keep it up. This was barely even a fight.  We can weaken both tanks, which I'm hoping will cause them to join again, primarily because it would be hilarious.  Lucy gets her shot off, too. Next turn!  Come on, it'd be so funny. Do it for the meme, Jugger.  Jugger: certified memelord. And an awful strategist.  "I think we're all done up here, pretty much!" Ingo says, looking at the one remaining tank across the river. "Phew, and here I was thinking this was going to be tough."  "There's nothing that can stand up to you and me!" Lucy replies, firing off her first shot. "Well, that was a little corny, but you know what I mean." "I always know what you mean, Luce."  Ingo finishes off the tank to win us the map. Ah, the tutorial maps... I wish everything was as easy as this. It's so much nicer when doing minimal-deaths runs.  Rock on! I won! I knew you'd deliver. You're going to be a great CO, Jake. ... So you're Black Hole goons, huh? Don't you guys ever give up? And how did you recover so quickly? Last I checked, your armies were trashed after your last failed invasion. Reply irrelevant. Initiating Jugger retreat protocol. Next time, Jugger breaks you.I've decided, I like Jugger. What are they after? Who knows... But they're out in force and bent on destruction, that's for sure. Let's leave the intelligence gathering to the pros and focus on the fighting. Yeah, I'll figure out what their plan is. I know them well, after all. I said leave it to the pros, not the half-baked fools who lucked their way into a high-ranking position. Oh, I am NOT enjoying this partnership. Finally, something we agree on. Let's just get rid of Black Hole as quickly as possible so you can go back home. Yeah. We've gotta drop these fools. That's right. Let's take it to 'em! Rawk! Did... did you just choke? Another S rank, though there wasn't much I could do to perform worse on that map. They kind of handed the kills to you.  God drat it, Jake. I want to like you. And then you come out with poo poo like this.  Well, next time we'll move on to the third mission. And I spy a familiar face as our enemy CO... Ah, reunions all round. What fun. See you next time, folks - every Friday, you know how it goes. I'm excited to be back! *** Part 2 (Intermission) - Reunion in Omega Land cosmicPostman fucked around with this message at 08:57 on Sep 25, 2021 |
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Sep 24, 2021 13:34
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Oh, it's time for my dude's Omega Land adventures!  The best of luck to you. I vaguely remember a couple missions in this one being meatgrinders during my playthrough—I can't wait to see how well you manage to do! I really like his speech icon, by the by. Is that new?
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Sep 24, 2021 13:58
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Well, if you've got the motivation for a new lp so early, run with it. Long as you have fun. I'm certainly having fun reading it.
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Sep 24, 2021 15:00
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What an unexpected surprise! We get to see you tackle my favourite game in the series! For the first mission there's some amusing dialogue if you deliberately dick around and run out of fuel (or for infantry their rations I guess) for all your units. You are such a freak! You can't move, can you? Oh, er... My bad. I just wanted to see what would happen if I ran out of gas. Stop messing around! Ammo and fuel don't grow on trees! Well, there's only one thing to do now. Open the map menu and select Options. Choose Yield so that we can start over from the beginning. Oh...sorry! And as punishment, you're on supply duty for a month! And weapons detail, too! Oh, yeah, and you'll be cleaning my quarters. Have fun, laundry boy! What?! Laundry, too? I don't see what that's got to do with-- SHOOSH!Jake overall...I have mixed feelings. I appreciate that he has a personality. It's just a shame that it's an obnoxious one. Overall a net positive though compared to Andy, though. I heard originally in Japanese Jake basically had no personality to speak of and the slang was the localisation's attempt at making him better. As for Jugger, I'm pleased you've taken to him. He is the absolute best and has been my favourite basically forever.
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Sep 24, 2021 15:00
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Jake has the best lines, because they're incredibly dumb but also because they're incredibly dumb. Saying "I dropped you like a phat beat" in anything even vaguely glancing towards telling a serious war story is the pinnacle of art.
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Sep 24, 2021 15:04
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Every LP I've quietly thought to myself "This is the game where Cosmic Postman will have to drop this insane gimmick (the low deaths)" and I'm always pleasantly surprised when you manage to still perform really well with those restrictions. Looking forward to being surprised again.
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Sep 24, 2021 15:11
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TeeQueue posted:Oh, it's time for my dude's Omega Land adventures! It is! Done by the artist who does all the other AW soldier art, on Instagram as @miss_akat. Give her some love - here's his art in full!  Drakenel posted:Well, if you've got the motivation for a new lp so early, run with it. Long as you have fun. I certainly intend to enjoy it! I'm not as busy as I was, so I figured I may as well do this with my free time. SoundwaveAU posted:What an unexpected surprise! We get to see you tackle my favourite game in the series! Oh, that's quite excellent. I didn't think about that, but the same thing happened in AW2, didn't it? I should have given that a go. Jake's certainly interesting... I think he and Rachel are a good pair though, they have a nice dynamic. Glad other people like Jugger too. The villains are just more fun, I'm super interested to see the new Black Hole COs. Rosalie_A posted:Jake has the best lines, because they're incredibly dumb but also because they're incredibly dumb. I can't even disagree. It's brilliantly baffling. Manyorcas posted:Every LP I've quietly thought to myself "This is the game where Cosmic Postman will have to drop this insane gimmick (the low deaths)" and I'm always pleasantly surprised when you manage to still perform really well with those restrictions. Looking forward to being surprised again. Still going deathless! I must admit, when it comes to Days of Ruin/Dark Conflict (not that I'm confirming that I'm doing it or anything), due to how it fits into the wider AW plot, I may not do a deathless run of that game, but I do have some other interesting ideas for it).
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Sep 24, 2021 15:24
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Aw yes it's time for a game I actually played! There'll be some surprises in store for this one, though one of them won't likely be apparent until the very end.
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Sep 24, 2021 16:45
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I don't know what people are complaining about Jake is amazing
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Sep 24, 2021 17:01
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Oh, this game. I'm really curious to see what you end up doing with the plot of this one, because this game's writing is absolutely bananas (not, I think, in a good way, but at least it'll give you plenty to work with!). The level design and difficulty curve are all over the place here, too, it's going to be interesting to see how that works out with your challenge. A few of the missions here are infamously bullshit in a way that might be hard to deal with under your restrictions, but you've surprised us before so I won't say more than that for now. One thing probably worth clarifying, re Jake: his "+1 attack range to vehicles" only applies to indirects, it doesn't let tanks fire at range.
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Sep 24, 2021 17:32
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Ah, Dual Strike. The game where every CO is busted, somehow. I like to think the mock battle weapons are really paint rounds, and the loser of the battle has scrubbing-off duty.
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Sep 24, 2021 19:03
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Am I the only one who saw Jake and immediately thought he was some off-brand my dude? Like if it wasn't just a few months later I'd think he was the kid of Nell and my dude and the past two LPs were just setup for his reveal.
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Sep 24, 2021 19:21
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DKII posted:Am I the only one who saw Jake and immediately thought he was some off-brand my dude? Like if it wasn't just a few months later I'd think he was the kid of Nell and my dude and the past two LPs were just setup for his reveal. There's always time travel!
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Sep 24, 2021 20:44
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Yes here we loving go. Get the goddamn plates because you're going to get served. As always I want more Selena.
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Sep 24, 2021 21:09
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AweStriker posted:There'll be some surprises in store for this one, though one of them won't likely be apparent until the very end. Explopyro posted:Oh, this game. I'm really curious to see what you end up doing with the plot of this one, because this game's writing is absolutely bananas (not, I think, in a good way, but at least it'll give you plenty to work with!). Well, sounds like this is going to be a very interesting ride, surprises and silliness, huh? And drat, thanks for confirming that's not how Jake's CO Power works. That would have been amazing. Broken, probably, but from what I hear everybody's downright busted in this game. Quackles posted:Ah, Dual Strike. The game where every CO is busted, somehow. Confirmed here! And I like that idea too. Wouldn't want to be the poor fucker scrubbing down a whole tank, I tell you... DKII posted:Am I the only one who saw Jake and immediately thought he was some off-brand my dude? Like if it wasn't just a few months later I'd think he was the kid of Nell and my dude and the past two LPs were just setup for his reveal. Interesting fact time! Back when I was designing my dude (so, like, waaaay back mid-AW1 sometime), I wanted to try and make a modified sprite to use for his conversations with Nell at the end of AW1. I ended up getting actual art drawn for it, as you know, but initially I tried the modified sprite idea, and I thought Jake would be a good fit (not that I knew anything about the character at the time), so I tried using him as a base. That's partially why my dude's always seen with his iconic headphones, because his design was based off of Jake's initially. The more you know. Natural 20 posted:Yes here we loving go. Oh, you want more Selena? There is plenty of Selena coming up, don't you worry. Selena suffers from "too badass" disease, as the units she's deployable as include subs, medium tanks and Neotanks, so earlygame maps are not her forte. Edit: also, just kinda forgot to mention it, but LPAW/LPAW2 have a TvTropes page now, put together by myself and a reader, so please do feel free to check that out and/or add your own tropes. I'm hoping to keep expanding it throughout this LP. Link here! cosmicPostman fucked around with this message at 21:54 on Sep 24, 2021 |
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Sep 24, 2021 21:45
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Hi, reader-who-helped-with-the-tropes reporting in. What a thing to wake up to on my birthday. (I didn't know this was coming, you can't prove anything!) Real talk though, already loving how My Dude is just trying to give Jake a chance... and then Jake drops one of his lines and you can just hear the facepalm. Even that "RAWK!" where My Dude thought that was a choke.... Nah, that was Jake being Jake, like he was saying "Rock on!"
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Sep 24, 2021 23:43
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The best part is that I haven't played this game for more than fifteen years and I can still remember Jake's theme.
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Sep 25, 2021 00:44
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Oh sweet, groundish floor! I've enjoyed your prior LPs cosmicPostman - good luck on this one!
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Sep 26, 2021 04:18
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This is the Advance Wars I played the most of, although I'll admit that it takes the idea of balance and just says "gently caress it, if everybody is OP nobody is" (not everybody is OP though) There are some new mechanics, as you're already getting some glimpses of. Also: You are correct, Rachel's power is not far off from Meteor strike, although it is different and she as a whole is not anywhere near as good as Sturm, and that +1 repair effect is... not great honestly. She rides entirely on her SCOP. Jake is actually surprisingly good CO given just how often you'll engage on plains, although no, you do not get ranged tank engagements; that extra range is only for indirects. He's a solid overall generalist although character-wise he is a bit annoying to listen to.
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Sep 27, 2021 22:15
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Jake is "hello, fellow kids" the character.
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Sep 27, 2021 22:59
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Need to dedicate some time to reading this with paying attention but looking forward to it!
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Sep 29, 2021 18:09
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Really looking forward to reading another cosmicPostman runthrough. I think I missed who did the murder in the last one, who was it? Although I dont think he'll play it, the hard mode in this game is so crazy and fun.
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Sep 30, 2021 09:35
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Chatrapati posted:Really looking forward to reading another cosmicPostman runthrough. I think I missed who did the murder in the last one, who was it? It was Hell, the my dude of Disgaea, killing Twee (of Animal Crossing) and taking his place.
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Sep 30, 2021 09:46
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The power creep in this game is just ludicrous. AW2 will always be my favourite but I can't deny that this game is just super fun to completely break.
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Sep 30, 2021 23:08
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Part 3 (Battle) - The Man With No Goddamn Medium Tanks Jugger’s screwed up. He knows he’s screwed up, which is why he’s not looking forward to reporting back to the other Black Hole COs. Currently, he’s stood outside the dark and imposing office of the Director, his ACO. Despite the disparity in their rank, there’s something fearsome about the Director.  Perhaps it’s her outfit. Madam Director. Were you successful in conquering Orange Star? Negative. Hmph. Why am I not surprised? Should’ve taken more tanks. They received reinforcements from Macro Land. Resistance: greater than expected. ...Macro Land? That could only have been Commander my dude and his merry band. File not found. Commander my dude? Are you kidding me? He’s the ACO responsible for defeating Sturm in the past two campaigns. Do you ONLY have files on COs? ACOs are just as important, you know. Query: Do you believe this because you are an ACO? ...Hmph. Yeah, you outrank me, but what are you gonna do about it? Jugger isn’t listening. Information: We need to prepare for a counterattack. Don’t bother; Lash is on the case. She’ll keep them running whilst we recuperate. Now make yourself useful and computerise a strategy to target their HQ. We can't let them take advantage of this setback. ...Affirmative, Madam Director. Sometimes I wonder which one of us is really the CO and ACO here.Welcome back, folks - it's time to move on to the next mission. And would you look who it is!  ... ... Uhhh... 'Sup? Who are you? What?! You can't be serious! Don't tell me Nell's little sis didn't tell you about me! I'm Orange Star's powerhouse, Max! I'm sure you've heard of me. We're kinda out in the sticks, so news is hard to come by. My dude's been here for a few days, right? And he didn't mention me either? Hee hoo I didn't mention you on purpose ...Of course. All right, I'll let you off easy this time. So where's Rachel? She's back at HQ for a war council. She'll be back in a couple of days. Ain't that something? And after I came all this way to help, too. Don't complain. I'm rather enjoying her being away. But here I am, so let's get out there and take back all that land you lost!I love the way Max says "land you lost" as if it was Jake, personally, who lost it all. What's your name, kid? I'm Jake. I got transferred to the Omega Land front a few days ago. HAH! Nice to meet you, Jake. Man, you've got a lot of nothing out here! If the Black Hole attacks with any force, there's nothing to stop 'em. THE Black Hole? There's only one. Just call them Black Hole. Don't I know it. So what's your style, Max? MEDIUM TANK BOIS!! MEDIUM TANK BOIS!! Uh, I mean--I like to hit the enemy hard and fast! No sneaking around for me. I like to pop 'em in the nose in direct combat! POW! Yeah, you've got some serious guns.Jake is, of course, referring to Max's muscles here. Dude's jacked. Any strategy you don't like? Yeah, I guess. Why don't you check out my CO profile for the details? All right, cool... Commander Jake! Bad news. We've spotted Black Hole troops! What?! Rachel's not here... Guess I have to step up! Whoa there, rookie! Running around without a plan is like painting a big, fat target on your chest. Why don't you take a seat and let me show you how it's done! Oh, HELL yes, I want to see this. Word. That'll probably cut down on casualties and stuff. You're already prioritising cutting down casualties? Guessing that was my dude's influence. Hey, nothing wrong with ensuring everybody gets to go home! You're a smart kid. I like that. We'll be fighting side by side in no time. I'm gonna go kick some Black Hole! Watch and learn, Jake! Go get 'em, Max! Oh, and my dude? Mm? I kinda left in a hurry, so I'm a little short on funds. No Md tanks today. WHAAAAAAT?! Hey, get back here! Whaddya mean we're not gonna see Selena?! Well, time for a Max mission. Should be nice to get back in the shoes of the heavy-hitting direct-combat man himself.  of course there's more talking first though In the meantime, the deployments for this mission: Today’s Deployments Dave, Mech Carter, Mech Ingo, Artillery Alfonse, Battle Copter Fred, Battle Copter Von Panzer, Battle Copter Paul, Battle Copter Julian, Battle Copter Michael, APC Fleur, Transport Copter Carter Age: 20 Personality: Confident, gaining more experience. Proficiencies: Mech, Missiles, Artillery, Rockets Fred Age: 27 Personality: Lives for battle thrills. Proficiencies: Rockets, Battle Copter, Medium Tank, Neotank Mathis Von Panzer Age: 40 Personality: Unbreakable wall of Orange Star. Proficiencies: Tank, Battle Copter, Recon, [unknown] Paul Age: ?? Personality: Skilled strategist and advisor. Proficiencies: Rockets, APC, Battle Copter, Artillery Julian Age: 28 Personality: Self-confident and assured. Proficiencies: Tank, Transport Copter, Fighter, [unknown] I know that laugh... You've heard it before? Yeah, I know who it is. Tee hee hee! What a pathetic bunch! I'm sooooo bored! Tee hee hee... Oh, yeah! Ruin told me about her - Lash, right? Huh? She's just a young girl? Don't let her fool you. She roughed us up last time we fought. Hey, Lash! I thought we knocked some sense into you last time around! Oh, look, it's Orange Star's great big monkeyboy, Max. Let me guess... They shipped you out here 'cuz you stink at indirect combat, right? Shut your trap! What're you scum doing out here, anyway? I'll never tell! But I do know that while you guys are all beat up, Black Hole just keeps getting stronger...and stronger...and stronger! ...I don't like that. She's right about that, but shouldn't both of us be exhausted? What's going on? How did you recover so quickly? Where did you get your supplies and funding? All fantastic questions. After Sturm was defeated, the army was in tatters... there's no way they could have... I don't get it. Duh! Like I'd even tell you that! But don't worry--you'll find out soon enough. You lucky guys get to help me field-test my latest invention, the black bomb! The what. You can only beat us when you know what you're up against, my dude. That's how you beat Sturm! But now here's something you've never seen before--how're you going to strategise your way around THAT? ...poo poo. It's gonna BLOW your minds! You'll get a BANG out of it! Tee hee hee! Black bomb? It's nothing more than a big missile. Our copters will take it out. Nuh-uh! Copters can't attack it! I'd back off now if I were you. Bah! You're wasting your breath. Let's just get to the blasting! My dude, Max, check it out! The enemy has two Md tanks! And we don't loving get any?! Relax, will you? Take a look at what units we've got deployed. Now listen up. There are two basic ways to defeat an enemy army. One way is to wipe out every one of its units. The other is to capture its HQ. Mm. What are you leaning towards, Max? On this map, capturing the HQ seems to be the best option. I think... I'd agree. Just so long as we can get that black bomb out of the way, and hold off the tanks at the bridge, we can get a T copter over there, no problem. Let's just move out and see what happens. Right, well, let's get to it. First off, we need to figure out what the gently caress the deal with the black bomb is.  It explodes? Like, the actual unit blows itself up, or...? I guess it's an unmanned missile, so blowing up does make sense. Wonder if we can do anything to prevent that.  Huh? Lash was telling the truth? Maybe the only way to hit it is with a fighter or ground units with anti-air capabilities. Ignore it. I'm sure it can't do much harm. You were in the last campaign, right? This is the same bitch who built the laser towers, Black Cannons, and, just in case you forgot, the GODDAMN DEATHRAY. Relax! It's just one bomb. Yes, sir. Oh my god, everyone I know is going to die. OK, Jake--this is a battle copter. It's a direct-combat air unit. It can deal destruction to tank and Md tank units. See that bridge to the left of the HQ? Stop the enemy tanks there if you can. Then, send your infantry to the enemy HQ with a T copter. That'd be a solid plan. I KNOW it'd be a solid plan, because I told you the same one about five minutes ago! There's one other thing you need to remember with air units. Any guesses? Fuel, right? That's right, rookie! Air units burn fuel even when they're not moving. If an air unit runs out of fuel, it'll crash and burn. Air units can resupply and regain HP at aurports, but there aren't any around. hur dur what's an airport again Air units can get fuel and ammo from APCs, so stick close to ours. I move Julian and Von Panzer over to the missile to block it off a little - this should prevent it from reaching my ground units over the way. "So curious to be fighting alongside an ex-mercenary of Black Hole." Julian remarks as he flies in near the bomb. "I'm Julian - primarily, I'm good with intel, but I suppose I can fight if need be, and now looks like one of those times." "Hmph! We must battle to save our land from being destroyed!" Von Panzer replies. Back on the ground, Fleur puts the transceiver down and turns to Ingo, a quizzical look on her face. "That young Julian... he only just arrived. How did he know Von Panzer's previous allégeance?" "Now that you mention it, that's odd. Von Panzer's been a citizen of Orange Star since the end of the last campaign. Only people who've been with him since the beginning should know that..." murmurs Ingo.  The rest of the copter squad - Alfonse, Fred and Paul - gather over here, with APC support from Michael. Like Max said, the best strategy is to wall the tanks at the bridge, and we've got more than enough copters to do that with.  It's not built for combat--it's for moving infantry around. The difference between this and an APC is T copters can fly over water. We could get behind 'em and scam their HQ, right? That's one way to do it. Not one of my strong points, but it might work. One more thing: T copters can't drop soldiers off on land while the copters are hovering over water. It's too risky--the grunts could end up in the drink. Would people stop calling them grunts, please, my god. We load Carter into Fleur's transport copter - she'll be taking him over to the enemy HQ once the black bomb's done with. Speaking of, I wanna see what that thing can do...  Well, the boys over the water should be keeping it at bay, everyone else is out of range.  Like she said, I stink at it. I don't like shooting things from distances. Every CO has strengths and weaknesses. Knowing your own keeps you alive. So you'll run up against stuff in every battle that you're good at and bad at. Asking allies to handle the stuff you're bad at makes your army stronger, right?Local Man Discovers Teamwork. Yeah, that's the idea! If you need more intel on a CO's strengths, open the map window and select CO. You'll find everything that you need. OK, we're all about done with the tutorials, I think. Let's see what Lash has in store for us. Von Panzer and Julian might take some damage, but... eh.  It'll be fine. It's a tutorial mission, after all; I don't know why I'm overthinking this so much.  Yeah, do your worst, Lash. Only two of my units are even in range-  ...D-did the black bomb intel mention something about 3-space-big explosions? I may have miscalculated.  "Gah!" yells Dave, diving back as the explosion makes his ears ring. "We took heavy damage along the front! Status, everyone!" "Most damage avoided back here." replies Alfonse. "Yeah, it was me and Paul that took the brunt of the hit. And honestly, it's just making me feel even more fired up to kill 'em all!" Fred shouts from his copter. Dave nods. "Understood. Let's make them regret throwing that oversized toy missile at us, then, gents."  The rest of Lash's forces advance slowly. We've got more than enough to arrange the defensive position before they arrive, though. And the black bomb helpfully removed itself from play, so it's no longer a factor! Easy map.  Once the tanks reach us, they'll be too far away from their HQ to reasonably defend it.  And it did a ton of damage, too! Stupid black bomb. I underestimated it! No poo poo! We've gotta repair those copters! I know, but there aren't any airports in the area, so we can't repair them. When a battle copter loses HP, its attack power also drops...I like how Max says this as if it only happens to battle copters. Unfortunately this is the case for every unit. There's only one way to get our copters more HP. Yeah? How's that? Actually, we're not giving them HP, we're just joining two identical units together. Unfortunately, we'll only have one unit instead of two, so it's a tough call. To merge units, move one of the units on top of the other one. You'll see the Join command when you do this. Select it, and you're good to go! You gotta remember that the new unit's HP can't be more than 10, though. Got it? ...'Sup, my dude, why are you making that weird face? Urk! Sorry. I was imagining 20 HP Md tanks and got excited. Right, right, focussing on the battle again... We make the defensive formation on the bridge - the top copter is Alfonse, bottom two are Paul and Fred, who have joined up. With artillery support (even Max's lovely artillery support) and Dave, they should have more than enough firepower to take on the tank squad coming up.  With their work done, Von Panzer and Julian head back to help the other copters, passing by Fleur and Carter as they do.  Lash... doesn't really have anything threatening anymore. The medium tanks are slightly concerning, but not against four battle copters, and especially not Max's four battle copters. The odds are overwhelmingly in my favour.  Ooh, you guys stink! I gotta figure out how to produce black bombs at airports!I kind of love that everyone on this map is just like "god this would be so much easier if this map had any airports".  I think Lash is aware that she's in a bad spot, as her tanks advance once more, but don't attack. And honestly, who can blame her?  May as well press the advantage, then.  Dear loving god everybody loves to talk today. Hey, Max, you knocked some heads on the front lines of the last war, right? I did too! ...Well, alright, I was only there for the final battle, but still... Yeah, that was a rough one. We only won 'cause we fought together. I got a feeling this is going to be tough, too. You're a bit short on allies. Do NOT invite Dipshit. We can get through this whole campaign without seeing him, I swear. Well, you were the first CO to get Omega Land's back, Max. I'm psyched! I just happened to be the closest one, that's all. Call it fate. I didn't even get permission from HQ--I just rolled over here! Oh, so THAT'S why I have 17 missed calls from Nell. Oh, really? Uh oh. Was that cool? Aren't there supposed to be policy meetings or something? When an entire continent's in danger, there's no time for meetings! I still had to go to MY meetings! All of Orange Star's upper management were there. I spilled coffee down myself, too. It was really embarrassing... I'm sure Nell will take care of all the red tape and paperwork for me. ...I guess I'll call her and find out. Thanks, my dude. I appreciate that. She's going to be pissed--you owe me for this. So the rest of your crew is back in Macro Land? Yeah, they've got their hands full sweeping up the crumbs of Black Hole's army. Boring! After Sturm was defeated, all the fight left 'em. I don't think they'll be over here to help anytime soon. That's too bad--we could use 'em! Good loving riddance to Dipshit, as far as I'm concerned. Keep your chin up, kid! You got me, and my dude, and I'm not planning on throwing in the towel! Yeah, you're right. I'll get better, too. We'll protect this continent together. Now you're talking!I was reminded after this conversation that I've not actually checked Max's CO notes. I assume they're the same, but hey, might be some new changes, you never know.  ...Yeah, that's about what I expected. The Advance Wars characters are quite predictably static.  Still no "existing skills", either. I'm very curious about those.  And some firepower/range differences, though nothing out of the ordinary for Max. His ranged units DO suck.  Lash, what's your deal? Same as usual, I see. Still inventing poo poo that I am not going to like.  Same CO powers... wait, on the right, there. Lash has a tag with Sonja? ...Interesting.  Anyway, time to deal with these tanks. I'm using Max, after all - it would be churlish not to play aggressively. First, Julian attacks - and blocks up the river, which the tanks can't pass over, but the infantry can.  Next up is Alfonse, harassing the medium tank who decided to plonk itself right in front of him. It's practically asking to die.  And, well, why stop? Fred/Paul chip away at the other medium tank.  Von Panzer goes for the remaining tank. As he fires on it, he gives a powerful shout. "Nein! I will no longer accept Black Hole in my land - we shall hold you off with everything we have!" "Well said, MVP! Let their blood paint these fields!" Fred shouts. "Dave, how're you holding up?" "Just loving peachy." Dave sighs, holding his wounded leg. "Urgh, that bomb was somethin' else... I'm gonna rest up at HQ and catch you up in a bit." "Look after yourself, Dave!" Michael replies.  That's all we can do for now, really. We've got a pretty sturdy defence, so I might try pushing the attack next turn.  I mean, why go for the HQ-capturing option when I could win through violence?  Lash's units get the gently caress out of there, which isn't that surprising. They can't run far, though.  My turn. Bro copters? Mind hunting down the stragglers for me?  Carter gets dropped off at the HQ in the meantime. "I'm in position at the HQ!" he says over the transceiver. Michael nods. "Gotcha. Go for the capture, we'll keep you updated. The enemy's currently unaware of your position, so take advantage of that."  ...Now, I know Max's artillery do less damage, but are you sure about that? I don't remember artilleries outright one-shotting infantry units, but maybe I'm wrong... Either way, Ingo brings this infantry down to 1 HP like it's nothing, and I am not complaining.  Von Panzer hounds down the upper medium tank. The other medium tank's on a city, so it's not as easy a thing to attack.  Still, Julian's gonna go for it. He's still doing solid damage, and I don't want it healing back up to full.  Michael does what he does best (besides sitting in obvious locations to bait enemies out) and supplies the units nearby. On a map as short as this, it was probably unnecessary, but eh, I like to have something for my units to do.  I leave everyone else where they are - I don't want to break that defensive formation until the medium tanks are no longer an issue.  You remember when I said I didn't want the medium tank healing up to full? Yeah, they just joined up. And now they're parked on the city with 3 defence stars. Urgh.  Everything else is manageable enough, though, so I'll just keep attacking.  Ingo finishes off the infantry. "Perfect shot!" he says to himself. "Alright, guys, the way is open - get those tanks out of the way!" "On it, on it. Copter squad, let's roll." Alfonse replies.  Of course, the blood knight Fred and master of tactics Paul roll out first, attacking the medium tank. It's the biggest threat on the map, so may as well go for that first. I think four bro copters can take it, even with the defensive bonuses from the city.  Dave, meanwhile, is all healed up and ready to fight, so he charges in and smacks the tank. One less thing to worry about - it can't do much at 4 HP.  Von Panzer's up next, doing a bit more damage to the tank. Not enough, though... goddamn, these things are stupidly bulky.  Julian continues the assault. We're whittling it down, but I'm suddenly concerned that the last copter, Alfonse, would have to break formation to attack the medium tank - and the enemy tanks that remain would be able to attack the weaker stuff, like Dave and Ingo.  I decide to play it safe and attack one of the tanks with Alfonse. If I'd been smarter about this, I'd have gone for the one below him, because then the defensive formation would still be in effect. But oh well.  And some more supplying, just for safety.  To round off the turn, Carter begins capturing. I could actually end the map by capturing or routing now... hm. But which to go for..?  Guess we'll see what Lash does, though I can't imagine it'll be much at this stage.  ...The medium tank moved off the city. Genius. And neither of them attacked, which is even weirder.  Well, let's not look a gift tank in the gun, and just keep up the pressure.  Dave finishes off the tank he attacked. That's what it gets for not hitting him when it had the chance! "Carter!" he barks. "May as well make your way back here." "Wait, what? I've almost captured their HQ!" "We've routed them either way." Dave replies, shrugging. "You did good, though, kid. Well done - I'll see you in the barracks later."  Dave's right; it won't take much to finish Lash, so I may as well. Time for violence.  Just one more shot to finish it - thanks, Von Panzer. We're done!  Let's grab that Lash and get her to tell us all about Black Hole's numbers. I doubt she's still around. She's a tough one to pin down. Ah... You're right. She bounced! What are they playing at? I wish I could tell you, kid. I was sure we'd finished off their boss. He died right in front of us--kinda hard to miss. So did Hawke rise to power after that..? We're not gonna figure it out here, though. Let's go grab some grub. I hear that! I want you two to tell me about your time on the front lines, too. Well, I AM the coolest motherfucker in the Allied Nations. But eh, Max, take it away. Remember how we met? Hah! I do, yeah. I've got enough stories to talk all night. First, there's this boy, Andy... Another day, another victory. Though, that was also a short map... may as well do another whilst I'm here. It's not going to be long until the maps get too long to fit into one part, I fear...  Christ, he's not kidding. How loving huge are those muscles? Bigger than my actual head.  Hey, it's Jugger! I was just thinking that I wanted to see more of him.  I can't believe how quickly Omega Land is drying into dust. It's all happened in the last few months. Something's going on, I know it! And Black Hole's different, too. Even though Sturm's out of the picture, it looks like they have an objective and are following someone's orders. I was thinking the same thing. Something's up. Gah! My dude! I thought you were on the front with Jake and Max? Eh, I get around. I go where the action is. ...Fine, I suppose whilst you're here, you can make yourself useful. Our army is severely undermanned, but they're growing larger and larger. There must be someone or some group directing their movements and activities. Why do I get the feeling that someone wanted us to be busy cleaning up the dregs of Black Hole in Macro Land? Distracting our attention from the real threat... For now, we're in the dark. All we can do is attempt to cut off their supplies. C-Commander Rachel! This is...terrible! Awful! Horrible! Catastrophic! A Green Earth soldier? Oh, right, I guess we're the Allied Nations now. What is it? Take a deep breath and start talking! There's a gigantic missile headed right for HQ! What?! What?! A missile? How long do we have? Impact in approximately...thirty minutes! Gah! We have to launch a counterattack! Don't take your eyes off that missile! Bring it up on the screen, now! I want to watch it as we fight! Thirty minutes? Guess I ought to pull a retreat- Whoa, no you don't! You're coming with me, my dude! Nell tells me you work best in a crisis--so prove it now! God drat it Reclaim the skies, huh? Quite a dramatic mission name for such an earlygame mission, but hey, let's see what's going on with that. Oh, but first, deployments. Today’s Deployments Rin, Infantry Dave, Tank Alfonse, Anti-Air Fliss, Anti-Air Carl, Anti-Air Ingo, Rockets Carter, Missiles Fleur, Transport Copter Carl Age: 22 Personality: Slightly strange, likes blood. Proficiencies: Anti-Air, Mech, Infantry, Tank  Dream on, freak! You're the CO controlling that missile, right? This is our homeland, and we're going to find a way to defeat you! Enemy untested: skill levels low. Enemy victory is impossible. Resistance, useless. Approaching missile is your doom. Commencing attack procedure...uh...alpha."procedure...uh...alpha"? He just made that up.  I know. You spent several months telling Nell not to marry me. Quiet, you. I won't stop fighting until there's not a single one of you left standing! Everyone take a look at the screen. It shows a map of the continent, right? Can't help but notice the enormous loving missile heading towards us. As soon as we start fighting, the countdown will start. But if we can defeat these chumps here before the timer reaches zero, we win. Things may not look good now, but this time, our army has the upper hand! Let's move out and teach these creeps they can't mess with us! Right, 30 minutes to a big missiley death. Thankfully, this map doesn't look like it'll take more than 5.  Twice as thankfully, the timer doesn't go down whilst people are loving talking Yes, they have. But don't worry--we've got plenty of anti-air ordnance deployed. As it should be. Bombers are not to be lightly hosed with. First, let's take a look at the enemy units and see what they can do.Rachel explains fighters (very powerful against air units, can't hit ground units) and bombers (very powerful against ground units, can't hit air units). We already know and fear these things, of course. Don't be afraid--move out and take the fight to 'em! Afraid? Me? ...Well, yeah, OK, I'm getting Eagle flashbacks... I hate fighters. The fighter and battle copter are both within range, so let's attack. But which unit should you attack: the fighter or the copter? The copt- I KNOW you know! You're a strategist! I was asking HIM! The fighter, because it has a larger movement range, right? Wrong! You're much better off attacking the battle copter. Remember, our anti-air unit can reach and engage the fighter, but we can fire on the copter only with missiles, because it's over the sea. I knew that. This is why I earn the big bucks. ...You're an ACO. Both me and Nell earn more than you do. I mean--well, yeah, but... Oh, yeah... OK, I get the idea. And try not to move units unnecessarily. Right on. I'll keep that in mind. Welp, may as well do what the lady says. Remove that copter, Carter!  I usually skip the actual battle screens for screenshot efficiency, but I just wanted to show that the "Good!" becomes an "Excellent!" if you one-shot the enemy. Pretty satisfying!  Air units fear its firepower, believe me. And it's a beast against infantry units."It's a beast" is not a phrase I expected Rachel to use. Sounds more like a Jake-ism. Tanks and Md tanks are a bit out of its league, though, so be careful. I'm just gonna have the three anti-airs attack the three air units. Seems logical to me - we can deal with that tank, too, no problem.  It can hit at a much greater range than artillery units, so I think you'll like it! As luck would have it, those enemy tanks are in range. Let's pound them! Ingo can severely weaken the tank from afar...  And then Dave can just loving flatten it. Not even a threat.  Right, back to murdering. Alfonse hit the fighter, Fliss hits the bomber. And one left...  Carl slams the other fighter.  I'm loading up Rin into Fleur, because I need to get them both to safety. The bomber could hurt Fliss, and two weakened fighters can still kill Fleur, I'm pretty sure. We move them to the west.  Yeah, about here - Fleur's in range of one fighter, and only one. Plus, if it moves to attack her, it'll move into range of Carter, so it's a win-win for me.   Ready naval unit. Jugger retreat. But retreating in full view of the enemy is... And what will Madam Director say? She might report it to... Survival takes priority over victory. What!? Lord Jugger, wait for us! The fighters join up, fleeing, and the bomber goes for Ingo. Not a bad turnout - just a bit unexpected.  Right, time to finish them off, I guess.  As you can see, we're using both screens in this skirmish. Oh, sure, when I break the fourth wall Ruin tells me off, but Rachel can do it just fine. Cool. So far, the top screen has been used only to display intel, right? Well, you can still see intel by tapping the X Swap icon on the Touch Screen. This icon switches the top screen between missile tracking and intel.I'm leaving this in because this is actually a new feature. But yeah, the top screen serves multiple purposes now; I'm sure we'll see similar things in other maps. So the X Swap icon only functions when we have battles with two fronts, right? Oh, and there's something else I wanted to ask you about. Sigh. Yes, he's my brother-in-law. Don't go spreading that around, though! Um, no, that wasn't what I wanted to--the R Info icon appears when the cursor is on a unit. What does it do? The R Info icon allows you to see more detailed information on deployed units. You can check firepower, types of units you can attack, and other intel.So on and so forth. We know this stuff. Back to the battle at hand!  Yeah, we just kind of slaughter them with Alfonse, Fliss and Carl.  Anti-airs, man. Really underrated units.  And with the final hit on the last fighter, we won. That... that 30 minute timer was way too long, even for a tutorial mission. Though I am concerned that we might have other timed missions in future... I hate timed missions.  Fantastic! Nice work, Commander! Why, thank you. I've outdone myself. He was talking to me! Anyway, let's redirect that ballistic missile into the sea. If we can recover it intact, we can reverse engineer it to gain valuable insight into their technology. Yes, ma'am. It's too bad the enemy CO got away, though. He survived the last time we fought, too. He's a tough shell to crack. Commander Max should be arriving soon, so I'm heading back to the front line. You're in command here, now. Don't let me down! Wait, Commander Rachel! Shoot, she's gone. She's such an understanding leader. I'm glad she's with Orange Star. Another clean S-rank.  And as much as I'm not fond of Rachel, she at least says less obnoxious things on the victory screen than Jake. Score one for Rachel.  And next time, we'll be moving out for another new mission. Looks like a new enemy CO, too... who's this person? *** Part 4 (Intermission) - Overflowing Confidence
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Oct 1, 2021 16:27
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cosmicPostman posted:
Take a look at the bars for the indirects: they don't take a firepower penalty. If you recall AW2's version of this graph... /Update%2003/93-Screenshot_2019-11-21_at_14.03.19.png) you'll notice Sami (pictured) and Colin's units having a bit chopped off of one end, indicating their lower power (defenses are, I believe, not noted). Rosalie_A fucked around with this message at 16:55 on Oct 1, 2021 |
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Oct 1, 2021 16:49
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Rosalie_A posted:Take a look at the bars for the indirects: they don't take a firepower penalty. If you recall AW2's version of this graph... Oh, huh, I totally missed that. Guess it's just a range penalty, that does explain why they still hit so hard.
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Oct 1, 2021 17:25
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Mission 4 always makes me giggle. Even for a tutorial, why did they give you thirty minutes? I challenged myself as a kid to see how quickly I could beat the map using that timer, I think I got just under 30 seconds? I think Max has been hitting the juice. Those gains aren't natural, I can tell you that for sure.
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Oct 1, 2021 17:40
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SoundwaveAU posted:Mission 4 always makes me giggle. Even for a tutorial, why did they give you thirty minutes? I challenged myself as a kid to see how quickly I could beat the map using that timer, I think I got just under 30 seconds? My theory on that is, early versions of the map had a shorter (but still very generous) time limit, but playtesters that were new to the series found it very stressful, even if they never actually came close to running out of time. This might have even discouraged them from reading too deeply into the info cards of all the new units on the map to learn the units (and who knows when the next time they'll see friendly rockets or missiles again?). Extending it to something longer than ten minutes probably resulted in inexperienced players coming out of the mission with a better understanding of the new units for future maps, even if it didn't meaningfully change the difficulty. It's still definitely a tutorial mission, but maybe the gimmick helped prevent players from getting tutorial fatigue. Or maybe they didn't want to waste the devtime spent on making that fancy rocket map for the second screen 
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Oct 1, 2021 18:24
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SoundwaveAU posted:Mission 4 always makes me giggle. Even for a tutorial, why did they give you thirty minutes? I challenged myself as a kid to see how quickly I could beat the map using that timer, I think I got just under 30 seconds? Keep in mind, not everyone would be coming to Dual Strike from the previous games, or even from any other games. Thirty minutes is a lot for an experienced player, sure, but if you're stopping to consider every move, you mess up how your units work (indirects are shockingly unintuitive), or just generally not playing very fast, you're going to use up a lot more. Nowhere near thirty minutes, I'm sure, but this is still early on: nothing wrong with making even a complete eight-year-old novice feel like they've accomplished something great by coming in fifteen, twenty minutes under the limit.
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Oct 1, 2021 19:21
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Poor Max got nerfed again in this game. No more movement bonuses from powers.
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Oct 1, 2021 20:30
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As others already pointed out, Max's indirects don't get a firepower penalty, just range (though obviously they don't get the bonus his directs do). If you can hit anything with them, they still work fine. I think this has always been the case with him. Speaking of Max, though, he's taken yet another nerf in this game: look at his powers. In AW2, he got +1 movement range on COP and +2 on SCOP, but he now only gets firepower bonuses and the movement increase is gone. Jake seems to have stolen that from him. (Maybe they were thinking too many COs had the "extra move, extra damage" powers and wanted to differentiate them a bit, which is fair enough, but it's a bit unfortunate for Max here.) In the previous LP of this game, much fun was had pointing out that the 30 minute time limit makes no sense when every turn of battle is explicitly "1 day". Timed missions aren't a bad idea to shake things up gameplay-wise, but the way they're justified in the game needed some work.
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Oct 1, 2021 20:44
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The bigger question is how does routing black hole forces on the ground do anything about an icbm that's even out of fighter range.
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Oct 1, 2021 22:50
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Rosalie_A posted:Keep in mind, not everyone would be coming to Dual Strike from the previous games, or even from any other games. Thirty minutes is a lot for an experienced player, sure, but if you're stopping to consider every move, you mess up how your units work (indirects are shockingly unintuitive), or just generally not playing very fast, you're going to use up a lot more. Nowhere near thirty minutes, I'm sure, but this is still early on: nothing wrong with making even a complete eight-year-old novice feel like they've accomplished something great by coming in fifteen, twenty minutes under the limit. I can sort of understand it from that point of view, I agree that indirects are unintuitive the first time you use them. A little morale boost of cleanly beating a level well under the time limit is probably a nice way to start off the game for younger players or novices. Remalle posted:Poor Max got nerfed again in this game. No more movement bonuses from powers. Explopyro posted:As others already pointed out, Max's indirects don't get a firepower penalty, just range (though obviously they don't get the bonus his directs do). If you can hit anything with them, they still work fine. I think this has always been the case with him. That is absolutely miserable that he was nerfed again. He was fine in AW2! ...I think. Didn't actually get to use him that much, come to think of it. They buffed Kanbei but nerfed Max? (I do agree that too many COs have the +1 move bonus on their SCOPs though, so whilst it's sad for Max, it is good to see it be a bit less common.) I hadn't even thought about the turns being called days, I totally forgot. To be fair, since I usually write narratives in between the battles, I think it's pretty evident in LPAW canon that "day" is just the name for the turns, and they're not actually remotely that long in real time. FoolyCharged posted:The bigger question is how does routing black hole forces on the ground do anything about an icbm that's even out of fighter range. Maybe Jugger just... turns the missile off when he loses? I have no idea.
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Oct 1, 2021 22:56
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Given that they redirect it into the ocean, apparently it was controlled remotely. Towards an immobile target. For some reason.
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Oct 2, 2021 00:29
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cosmicPostman posted:Though I am concerned that we might have other timed missions in future... I hate timed missions. 
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Oct 2, 2021 00:34
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Staltran posted:Given that they redirect it into the ocean, apparently it was controlled remotely. Towards an immobile target. For some reason. They even call it a ballistic missile but somehow it can be redirected!? hate to say it, but I'm starting to suspect these advance wars games aren't completely realistic.
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Oct 2, 2021 03:26
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Rosalie_A posted:They even call it a ballistic missile but somehow it can be redirected!? What you do is you send out a fighter jet with a tow harness, and...
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Oct 2, 2021 03:47
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Are you implying that statement could be calamitous?
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Oct 2, 2021 04:22
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