How Wonderful! posted:

*I enter the bar and the Yobbers start clamoring to come over and say hello, nice bike, izzat yours, is that leather jacket wool? is the bike wool? can we touch it? do you like cats? do you like puffy stickers? but a broad, hair arm, inked with the fading silhouette of the hammock kitty, holds them back*
"hey... leave the lady alone. we don't mess with her"
*I down my glass in one sharp gulp and slam it down on the bartop, casting a MEAN eye around the dim room*
"that's oat milk she's drinking... we're just a pack of dairy boys to her... and let's just say that if she chewed us up we'd both be going through hell in a few hours..."