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Shaking someone's hand in a business meeting? That businessman probably masturbates five times a week. He's probably coated his hand in gallons of cum over the years. When you shake his hand, you're absorbing all the cum he's jizzed out over the past forty years. Business meetings are in a way the modern American orgy. Hell, maybe that man jerked off several other cocks. Maybe his hobby is jacking other men off, and he's had hundreds of other men's seed coat his hands. And now that seed is yours. This is probably important information, we probably really need a vaccine against jizz hands or something considering how often people both shake hands and masturbate, sometimes at the same time. Can any medical professionals share their experiences jacking people off?
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Oct 2, 2021 00:57
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So basically human beings are a record of everything they've ever touched, ate, or hosed.
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Oct 2, 2021 01:01
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What about lesbians who have never touched a man op? Think about that. Your thesis is ruined. Get out of the dissertation committee and off campus. You're expelled.
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Oct 2, 2021 01:02
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Sorry OP I wash my hands.
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Oct 2, 2021 01:03
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so what
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Oct 2, 2021 01:04
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Seth Pecksniff posted:What about lesbians who have never touched a man op? Every bean shes flicked and mound shes kneaded and absorbing every drop of squart shes ever had pass through her sturdy knuckles
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Oct 2, 2021 01:05
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My boss says “corr blimey” a lot and I imagine he also says this during or after a good wank
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Oct 2, 2021 01:06
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The sense of community i get from the six degrees of cum fingers is basically the only reason i shake hands anymore OP
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Oct 2, 2021 01:08
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seems like a bonus tbh. expand your horizons and all. i saw that on a poster
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Oct 2, 2021 01:12
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You mean THEY are!
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Oct 2, 2021 01:12
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This is my reason for wanting dudes to wash their hands after they pee. You might enjoy shaking your cock, but I want no part in it.
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Oct 2, 2021 01:13
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And this is a bad thing because...?
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Oct 2, 2021 01:16
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I say just skip the middle man and shake each other’s cocks instead of hands.
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Oct 2, 2021 01:22
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what if they jerk off with their left hand?
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Oct 2, 2021 01:31
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humans aren't homeopathic you chump
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Oct 2, 2021 01:33
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I won't lie, I touch my dick.
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Oct 2, 2021 01:33
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Mega64 posted:This is probably important information, we probably really need a vaccine against jizz hands or something considering how often people both shake hands and masturbate, sometimes at the same time. Can any medical professionals share their experiences jacking people off?  Didn't you get a cootie shot as a kid? Healthcare in this country must be worse than I thought, drat...
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Oct 2, 2021 01:39
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this is the best news ive heard in 69,420 days
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Oct 2, 2021 01:54
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:I say just skip the middle man and shake each other’s cocks instead of hands. This is how human males greeted each other in the past because it quickly established who had the bigger cock and was the dominant male.
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Oct 2, 2021 01:58
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If you are an adult and you shook hands with another adult, they have probably had sexual relations with another adult. I don't really know where I was going with this, or the point of this thread
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Oct 2, 2021 02:04
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So by extension, you're saying every time I touch my own cock, I'm rubbing dicks with countless others?
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Oct 2, 2021 02:12
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Devils Affricate posted:So by extension, you're saying every time I touch my own cock, I'm rubbing dicks with countless others? depends on how many people have touched your cock or your hand.
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Oct 2, 2021 02:15
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Devils Affricate posted:So by extension, you're saying every time I touch my own cock, I'm rubbing dicks with countless others? 
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Oct 2, 2021 02:17
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are you the same kind of weirdo that worries about dicks toucking over time via having had sex with the same girl also mods make my name "dicks touching over time"
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Oct 2, 2021 02:17
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Is this why i have shaky hands?
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Oct 2, 2021 02:18
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Ahh the distributive law of jerking off.
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Oct 2, 2021 02:23
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Mumpy Puffinz posted:If you are an adult and you shook hands with another adult, they have probably had sexual relations with another adult. I don't really know where I was going with this, or the point of this thread Very few goons have relations, we all just pretend that we know what we are talking about.
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Oct 2, 2021 02:24
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Talkc posted:Is this why i have shaky hands? Sophy Wackles posted:Ahh the distributive law of jerking off.
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Oct 2, 2021 02:24
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Zil posted:Very few goons have relations, we all just pretend that we know what we are talking about. true enough
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Oct 2, 2021 02:25
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I'm going to go out and shake all kinds of hands. If it wasn't a pandemic I'd invite people to rub their hands all over my mouth and face.
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Oct 2, 2021 02:58
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Yes, that’s the only good reason to shake a hand
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Oct 2, 2021 03:02
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CPL593H posted:I'm going to go out and shake all kinds of hands. If it wasn't a pandemic I'd invite people to rub their hands all over my mouth and face. COVID isn't transmitted through the skin. As long as they thoroughly wash up before and after, and everyone is wearing masks, I'd say you're good to go.
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Oct 2, 2021 03:04
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They don't call shaking hands "Giving a handy" for nothing
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Oct 2, 2021 03:04
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CPL593H posted:I'm going to go out and shake all kinds of hands. If it wasn't a pandemic I'd invite people to rub their hands all over my mouth and face. I miss the times before covid where we could have physical touch. We'd put our fingers in each others mouths to say hello, blow raspberries into each other's faces as a sign of casual affection, sit in each others laps on public transport, and breathe deeply when someone nearby sneezed as a sign of solidarity.
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Oct 2, 2021 03:20
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well drat lemme lick that hand then
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Oct 2, 2021 03:22
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I don't shake hands, I shake genitals directly. I'm a go getter.
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Oct 2, 2021 03:36
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WILDTURKEY101 posted:I miss the times before covid where we could have physical touch. We'd put our fingers in each others mouths to say hello, blow raspberries into each other's faces as a sign of casual affection, sit in each others laps on public transport, and breathe deeply when someone nearby sneezed as a sign of solidarity. I just haven't gotten any dick in a long time.
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Oct 2, 2021 03:45
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CPL593H posted:I just haven't gotten any dick in a long time. that's just crass. have you already forgotten when interacting with each other's saliva and breath was how we connected as humans? what have we come to
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Oct 2, 2021 03:52
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Just wash your hands every time and thoroughly after doing #1 and #2. It’s not that hard. No one want to touch your dick and butt-filthy hands.
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Oct 2, 2021 04:06
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Dogs have the right idea by just sniffing each other’s assholes. Makes a lot more sense than shaking hands if you think about it.
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Oct 2, 2021 04:20
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