Mega64 posted:

Shaking someone's hand in a business meeting? That businessman probably masturbates five times a week. He's probably coated his hand in gallons of cum over the years. When you shake his hand, you're absorbing all the cum he's jizzed out over the past forty years. Business meetings are in a way the modern American orgy.

Hell, maybe that man jerked off several other cocks. Maybe his hobby is jacking other men off, and he's had hundreds of other men's seed coat his hands. And now that seed is yours.

This is probably important information, we probably really need a vaccine against jizz hands or something considering how often people both shake hands and masturbate, sometimes at the same time. Can any medical professionals share their experiences jacking people off?