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 We're playing Sheffield United, who still have Chris Wilder, this truly is a better world  You cheeky little oval office That is shocking, properly shameful behaviour.  Davies distraction aside, we played very well. I'm still fuming about that, loving hell.  Right onto Wimbledon, and hopefully nobody is too busy getting pissed up to play. Mostly gona be kids starting, it is a league one side afterall.  Well Davies, all is forgiven, good job lad.  We're playing Arsenal in the league, the champions of course. They got off to a fairly slow start, unlike the mighty Darlington.  A really impressive result versus the champions, very exciting times  Things are heating up in the premier league for sure. only perfect record Chelsea are better than us at present  we're back in Europe and we're playing OL.  Well that's one of the more spectacular finishes to a game you'll see
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Jan 28, 2022 16:43
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| # ? May 9, 2024 05:17 |
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lol, l'ol. lol arsenal, too.
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Jan 28, 2022 16:47
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Congrats to Kaleb Davies, most relatable member of the squad
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Jan 28, 2022 16:59
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94th minute pen missed/blocked after what looks like a straight loving red from a guy who also had a missed/blocked pen. Jesus Christ.
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Jan 28, 2022 17:28
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karmicknight posted:94th minute pen missed/blocked after what looks like a straight loving red from a guy who also had a missed/blocked pen. Jesus Christ. da bootiful game babey!
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Jan 28, 2022 17:35
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Leraika posted:lol, l'ol.
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Jan 28, 2022 20:16
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ItohRespectArmy posted:da bootiful game babey! wish i was there lovely stuff from the lads couldn`t be happier!
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Jan 30, 2022 21:04
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 We're playing Man Utd, who are below us in the table, seeing as we are a MASSIVE club now we should dispatch them fairly easily.  whoops, turns out we're not that good.  We're playing Burnley, they're a pretty good team but it's mostly probably down to a good start, I don't think they're gona finish where they are.  A good win, a scrappy one but they all give 3 points. We'll take it.  We're visiting the camp nou next, loving hell.  Well we put up one hell of a fight but they just had that bit of quality. Still, we went to the camp nou and their MOTM was their goalkeeper.  Here's our group as it stands, we're in a very good position considering how tough it seemed at first.  Back to the league as we play Liverpool next. Could do with a big performance to get back to winning ways.  And that folks is why 3-0 is the most dangerous scoreline.
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Jan 31, 2022 06:43
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 MapGoons Ligue 1 (and I cannot stress this enough) Uber Eats.
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Feb 1, 2022 01:00
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 We're playing Burnley in the carabao coca cola cup, obviously a very important competition to us. But also a good chance to fix our form.  A last minute equaliser and then losing the penalty shootout, loving hell.  We're back to the league as we play Wolves, hopefully we don't get ripped to shreds.  Decent result, probably could've done better but every 3 points will be important at the end of the season.  We invite Barca to the Darlington Stadium, we did lose 1-0 at their place which was nothing to be ashamed of really.  Well, add another tale to the Darlington story, beating Barcelona 3-2 to go top of our group, what a time to be alive.  We're playing top of the table Chelsea and their almost perfect record, should be a tough test.  Wow, what a result! We really are massive.  Leicester are a pretty good team, but we just beat barca and chelsea back to back, we are invincible.  Another good result, pretty good stuff.  We're playing Dortmund in the champions league again, we can secure qualification with some positive results  Well not ideal buuut  Now that, is an achievement.
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Feb 1, 2022 07:28
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You beat Chelsea, making you the new megabastard.
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Feb 1, 2022 07:40
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karmicknight posted:
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Feb 2, 2022 01:12
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 Beating chelsea has made the premier league title race has gotten very spicy indeed. Not expecting anything but it's good to be in touching distance, you never know what might happen.  We're playing Newcastle, thankfully in this universe they are still owned by Mike Ashley, not the state of Saudi Arabia, so they're still where they belong. Unlike Darlington, who are bonafide title challengers.  We show Newcastle who the boss is and with man utd losing... we're level on points with chelsea!  Another mid table team get to face the HAMMER of darlington and it's west ham. very exciting stuff.  Well despite Richarlisons best efforts, we go top of the league! We are massive!  Now that is a sight to behold.  We're playing wee little spurs and as we all know, Lads, it's Spurs.  Just like expected, we rolled them over to continue our reign as top of the table megabastards.  We're playing OL, bit of a dead rubber but top spot is up for grabs  Well it was up for grabs, we didn't grab it  Moving swiftly on from that disappointment, we're playing Everton, another mid table side. We've had a pretty nice run lately, and we better continue it.  A good win, we maintain our run at the top of the table with yet another win. We've now won 7 league games on the bounce.  We got very very lucky, we came second in our group so we faced the top of the next group which means we get san sebastion. If we had topped the group we'd be playing... PSG. It's a funny old game.  welp, he got away with it again.  We're playing 8th place Man city, they've had some fall for grace in recent years, so we should continue our run unless something odd happens.  We won! We're incredible, easily the greatest team of all time.  Look at that table, lovely stuff.
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Feb 2, 2022 03:31
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He simply cannot keep getting away with it.
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Feb 2, 2022 04:52
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partying like i live at no. 10 tonight that result
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Feb 2, 2022 05:08
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BUG JUG posted:partying like i live at no. 10 tonight that result How are the cheeseboards?
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Feb 2, 2022 08:48
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Wow, even the in-game odds are now favouring you, instead of giving you a 1 in 10 chance winning against any team that wasn't assembled in a local pub, crazy world.
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Feb 2, 2022 09:04
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Leraika posted:He simply cannot keep getting away with it. Are you sure 'cause he seems to be getting away with it
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Feb 2, 2022 14:05
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The low poly man utd badge does their brand no favours.
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Feb 2, 2022 14:05
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Rarity posted:How are the cheeseboards? Haven't been able to taste a thing in a fortnight. Is that normal?
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Feb 2, 2022 18:32
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 We're playing relegation fodder Blackburn next, so I won't be happy with anything but a win here.  A good result, our defending is a bit suspect but the way we play is kind of prone to these kinda results.  We're playing West Brom next, we're on an incredible run and it better not end to this shower of shite.  another good result but I do wish we could win a game beyond the odd goal.  We're playing leeds next, largely the same story as the last couple of games, we just need to keep winning.  Well we won by the odd goal again, fancy that.  We're playing Villa in the FA cup, should be a good chance to rotate, since it's not our main priority for once.  Well Davies continues being pissed off but playing well and Villa are the victims.  We're playing Bournemouth but Moffat is out injured  Another good win, even without our #1, we're flying right now.  We're playing Norwich, can anyone stop us? I don't think they can.  Well, they did but hey, it was alot of wins.  Look at that! We are unstoppable!
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Feb 2, 2022 23:12
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Check out Manchester City 
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Feb 2, 2022 23:58
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 We're back and we're playing Chris Wilders Sheffield United.  Well, you won't see a better game than this one this season, loving hell. Wilderball baby.  We're playing Pompey in the FA cup, it's a good chance to rotate, take a breath and get ready for the challenge in the league.  A good win, a nice way to bounce back after a very crazy game.  We're playing Brighton next, I'll admit to losing a bit of focus as I'm currently working on a completely mental transfer, so hopefully the players are more focused than me.  Well distractions aside this is a fantastic win for us, we keep moving closer and closer to the promised land.  he's here and he's beautiful, a real midfield magician that will hopefully help us push on as the season goes on. Here's hoping he lives up to his 60m price tag though.  And after all that we're playing Arsenal, it's a 1st vs 4th clash but these are the games that will decide our fate, we need to win.  Holy poo poo, we're really going to do it aren't we?  Oh man, I haven't looked at this thing in a while, what a time to be alive.  Shameful, they released him in the first place!  Lmao.  Well we're hosting the first leg of our champions league game vs San Sebastion next, I almost forgot we were in the bloody competition I was so focused on the league.  Well, we're never boring are we?
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Feb 3, 2022 21:11
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Oof that's a nasty amount of away goals
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Feb 3, 2022 21:22
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If we win, it doesn‘t matter  Also, that was 27-5 shots for a 3-3 score  Keep those wins in the league coming! 6 point lead with 12 games to go. 
DTurtle fucked around with this message at 23:19 on Feb 3, 2022 |
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Feb 3, 2022 23:16
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That name was really bugging me until I looked it up, turns out it's https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Real_Sociedad
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Feb 4, 2022 02:05
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Moktaro posted:That name was really bugging me until I looked it up, turns out it's https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Real_Sociedad why did you link to the Real San Sebastian page?
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Feb 4, 2022 02:08
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karmicknight posted:why did you link to the Real San Sebastian page? That's the name that was bugging me! Never seen it like that before.
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Feb 4, 2022 04:09
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Hold onto that top spot Darlington! Can we see the rest of the Premier League schedule?
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Feb 6, 2022 06:19
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 Here's our remaining fixtures, they look mostly favourable and I believe we can beat ANYONE on our day.  We're playing Man Utd, who in real life got knocked out of the FA cup by my beloved Middlesbrough, what a time to be alive. Obviously, we're gona smash them.  Orrrr not. The good news is we do have a good points cushion, loving hell.  We're playing Sheff Utd in the cup, managed by chris wilder who in real life was the manager of middlesbrough who knocked man utd out of the fa cup in real life.  Wow, we knocked them out, just like Middlesbrough knocked Manchester United out in real life. Stunning stuff.  We're playing Liverpool, who of course are huge rivals of manchester united who famously got knocked out of the fa cup by middlesbrough recently in real life.  Not that bad a result, although we do need to start winning soon.  Things are very tight right now, scary stuff but I believe in us.
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Feb 6, 2022 08:43
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I wonder how Man Utd did in the FA cup 
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Feb 6, 2022 09:37
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Rarity posted:I wonder how Man Utd did in the FA cup Hey oh!
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Feb 6, 2022 10:18
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Too soon, man.
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Feb 6, 2022 12:26
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sebzilla posted:Too soon, man. incidentally this is also a description of the way Manchester United's FA Cup ended, thanks to Middlesborough
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Feb 7, 2022 00:38
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 We're playing Wolves. We need a win, to find some form.  That is much much better. But we still need to keep going, utd are only 1 point behind us still.  A game decided by a red card, a pure moment of madness sends Darlington into the second knockout round.  This Burnley game is one of those nightmares where we have to win but I just know they're gona make it a nightmare for us. We just have to hope we perform on the day.  Well we didn't win but neither did Man U, so we survive. One game closer to immortality.  Chelsea aren't out of the title race in 3rd, they're only 3 points behind us. We need to get a result here and it's gona be difficult.  We played well, it was nervy at the end but in the end we survived.  Our youth intake came in, our best prospect by a wide margin is Tompkins here, who could potentially be a top top keeper.  It's the fa cup quarter final and we play spurs, we're quietly approaching a potential treble, so we gotta win this.  Well, this wasn't pretty but it's a result I'll take for sure.  The league returns and the situation remains the same. We need to keep winning, Man Utd and Chelsea are breathing down our necks.  Another game where we didn't blow the doors off but we won, that's all that matters.  We're playing some little catalonian club, FCB? never heard of them, should be a stomp.  Well, it was almost an incredible result but it's merely a solid result at the camp nou.  We're playing Leicester in the premier league next, The situation is largely the same, just keeping Man Utd at arms length for as long as we can.  Another good win, we keep rolling closer to the finish line. Only five more league games.  Now we're back to playing Barcelona, the jet set life of being the greatest team in the world sure is tiring.  Holy poo poo we just knocked Barca out of the champions league, what the gently caress.  Next we have the much smaller time fixture of a ... fa cup semi final at wembley, loving hell.  Well that's a nice professional performance, and we're onto the final!  It's spurs in the league, it's vital we keep winning but they are a good side.  We're keeping it rolling, just 4 league games to go until Immortality Or atleast until Utd lose.  We're playing Arsenal in a champions league semi final, the other semi final is man united vs porto showing that life really is just a cycle.  A decent first leg result, away goal is a shame but it's just a hard part of the season.  We're playing Man City who have had quite the rise since our last game, all the way from 12th to 5th. That's decent. Also their manager is... Daniel Farke???  We get a scrappy win and Man U lost 4-0 to chelsea at the bridge so we get some much needed breathing room. Only three league games left with a 4 point cushion is good going.  Second leg with Arsenal coming up, if we win we're into the champions league final.  Another scrappy win but we're in a champions league final baby!  We're playing Blackburn, if we win and things go our way we'll win the title.  Well, unexpected but impressive by Blackburn.  Two games left in the league, starting with West Ham If we win both we win the title, it's in our hands.  Well gently caress, what a nightmare.  Here's the situation going into the final day where the title will be decided, what a nightmare.  Here we go, the final game of the season. Everton are struggling under Roberto Martinez and ideally we should be able to win this one and win the title.  We did it! We're the champions! From death to immortality! but not to get too ahead of ourselves, we have an FA cup final and a champions league final to win.  Oh hey, this is a random event that happens to regens sometimes, when this game was made there were no openly gay professional footballers, so SI made an event where a generated player would come out as gay. It's a small thing but it's very sweet. (This season, Josh Cavallo of the A-League came out of gay and best of luck to him)  Our first ever FA cup final and no Sheffield Wednesday to destroy us.  Well, seems Man Utd are a bit hungover from losing out on the title, they didn't turn up today.  Well it's Man Utd again as we play in the champions league final. Even if we lose, what a season.  So uh, we won the treble? What a week, I'm gona go sleep for 12 hours now. Oh and fun fact, the last english team to win this specific treble was... manchester united.
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Feb 7, 2022 13:39
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I think you should try and form the european super league to get some real regular competition.
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Feb 7, 2022 13:54
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drat, the hits don't stop coming for Manchester United. What now? Keep going until you win the septuple?
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Feb 7, 2022 14:07
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I mean, this is it for Darlington, right? They've done something that has only happened once before in football history. What can you even do now?
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Feb 7, 2022 14:09
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Needs the milk cup as well as the world club cup nonsense, obv.
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Feb 7, 2022 14:17
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Darlington delenda est
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Feb 7, 2022 14:25
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