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Q. what's worse than a pile of dead babies? A. the 19 cowardly terrorists who attacked our nation on September 11, 2001.
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Nov 23, 2021 19:37
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Q. What should you do if the Americans launch the missiles? A. Wrap yourself in a white sheet and crawl very slowly to the graveyard. A little vintage Russian humor
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Nov 23, 2021 19:40
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observational comedy? my observation is you STINK
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Nov 23, 2021 19:51
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toiletbrush posted:I wanna hear a joke that you think is funny but you reckon would get goons 'mad' I’M GAYER THAN AIDS!
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Nov 23, 2021 19:54
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The only thing I'm mad about is how outdated it is
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Nov 23, 2021 19:55
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Who What Now posted:The only thing I'm mad about is how outdated it is Tbf you were going to be mad no matter what anyone said.
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Nov 23, 2021 20:06
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Some people are just bad at comedy. Take my wife... ...please!
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Nov 23, 2021 20:07
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kazil posted:Some people are just bad at comedy. Right, and being unfunny is fine. My original point is that either it’s funny or not funny. Getting mad just makes everyone think you’re fragile either about the topic or in general.
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Nov 23, 2021 20:20
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It's weird to me how many people project anger on everyone else. You can think something is lovely and unnecessary and even say so, possibly including swear words(!) without it being a meltdown.
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Nov 23, 2021 20:46
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SilvergunSuperman posted:It's weird to me how many people project anger on everyone else. But conservatives can’t, that’s what makes it funny. They don’t realize other people aren’t EXACTLY like them.
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Nov 23, 2021 20:52
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*gets up to the mic at a comedy club and yells the n-word 50 times* "Cmon guys, stop getting mad. It's either funny or it's not."
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Nov 23, 2021 20:54
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Much like estrogen, you either have good comedy or bad comedy.
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Nov 23, 2021 20:58
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SnoochtotheNooch posted:Tbf you were going to be mad no matter what anyone said. lol
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Nov 23, 2021 20:59
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Who What Now posted:Also some real fuckin weirdos just absolutely worship the idea of "comedy" as this holy and sacrosanct thing and act like you've done a grave sin by saying someone's joke isn't funny. The very concept of another person daring to think some rich out of touch rear end in a top hat isn't God's gift to comedy legitimately upsets certain people and sends them into frothing rages. These people are never funny themselves and never seem to get protective of any good material tho. I agree with this 100%. People who identify as edgy tend to think any pushback is silencing them or censorship when it’s really just pushback. One of the reasons everyone feels more on edge nowadays is there is genuinely more diversity of thought than in the period from the late 70s to the 2010s. Now both socialist and fascist ideas have entered the mainstream, plus there’s the various liberalisms still contending. There’s more “free speech” than ever before.
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Nov 23, 2021 21:03
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Lmao if you unironically identify as edgy.
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Nov 23, 2021 21:13
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Im an Edgy-American
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Nov 23, 2021 21:45
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SilvergunSuperman posted:It's weird to me how many people project anger on everyone else. SA pretty much pioneered the whole "I'm the most ironically detached and everyone else is Mad lol" posture angry nerds everywhere have since adopted so this is about as weird as going to your mom's house and finding your mom there A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 22:19 on Nov 23, 2021 |
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Nov 23, 2021 22:12
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:SA pretty much pioneered the whole "I'm the most ironically detached and everyone else is Mad lol" posture angry nerds everywhere have since adopted so this is about as weird as going to your mom's house and finding your mom there Heh, why are you mad tho?  Also I want to do amateur stand up exactly once. I spend the entire time sincerely telling the worst jokes. Like no real humour. Seinfeld level jokes. But as the audience lacks a reaction my delivery gets more and more desperate. Instead of saying "am I right?" I start begging people to reassure me. Tell me I haven't gotten this so wrong, please for the love of god. At the end of set I'm sobbing and apologising completely, I put the mic up and tell the audience "you've been great". I never do stand up again.
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Nov 23, 2021 23:01
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69 pages nice
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Nov 23, 2021 23:09
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Private Cumshoe posted:69 pages nice Oral sex is only for the libs.
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Nov 23, 2021 23:28
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syntaxfunction posted:Heh, why are you mad tho? I can guarantee you entertained those people and gave part of the crowd exactly what they came to see.
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Nov 23, 2021 23:30
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kazil posted:Oral sex is only for the libs. We haven't discussed this yet in the thread, but I'd be curious if anyone has some anecdotes about who makes better lovers, conservatives or liberals?
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Nov 24, 2021 00:29
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A Strange Aeon posted:We haven't discussed this yet in the thread, but I'd be curious if anyone has some anecdotes about who makes better lovers, conservatives or liberals? Better by whose regard?
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Nov 24, 2021 00:54
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A Strange Aeon posted:We haven't discussed this yet in the thread, but I'd be curious if anyone has some anecdotes about who makes better lovers, conservatives or liberals? Repression breeds some fantastically insane olympic-level gently caress champions. I'm sure it's healthier to gently caress people who are sane but boy it's more fun to gently caress the crazy ones sometimes.
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Nov 24, 2021 02:05
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Waterbed Wendy posted:Better by whose regard? Most pleasing direction for a wiener to curve
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Nov 24, 2021 02:07
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A Strange Aeon posted:We haven't discussed this yet in the thread, but I'd be curious if anyone has some anecdotes about who makes better lovers, conservatives or liberals? Liberals are more consistently good, but conservatives have higher highs and lower lows.
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Nov 24, 2021 02:13
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I'm sure it's a regional thing because I'm in Cali but I also find conservatives here around my age and younger generally take better care of themselves physically. I know the south and midwest are lard nazi heaven but out here it's like the Orange County soccer moms and outdoorsy types.
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Nov 24, 2021 02:17
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syntaxfunction posted:Heh, why are you mad tho? I think Ive seen Stewart Lee do this exact bit twice.
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Nov 24, 2021 02:17
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Who What Now posted:Most pleasing direction for a wiener to curve Liberals all got upside down cavities so this is a no brainer
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Nov 24, 2021 02:20
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nvidiagouge posted:I'm sure it's a regional thing because I'm in Cali but I also find conservatives here around my age and younger generally take better care of themselves physically. I know the south and midwest are lard nazi heaven but out here it's like the Orange County soccer moms and outdoorsy types.
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Nov 24, 2021 05:41
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Repeat shoplifters should go to prison for a bunch of years.
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Nov 24, 2021 05:51
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syntaxfunction posted:Heh, why are you mad tho? Unironic think intentionally bombing at stand up would be a good youtube channel. "You guys think Nancy ever hosed with Ronald when his mind was gone? BOO IM JOHN HINCKLEY JR!!!" *groans* I'd watch that poo poo all day if any goon wants to take the leap
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Nov 24, 2021 06:48
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All Americans must pass the citizenship test if they want to vote. Additionally, you must pass the citizenship test to graduate high school. This is the same test that the immigrants take except you just do it at school. You must also pass the test if you want to be pregnant. And yes you must have a valid REAL ID or passport to vote. I'm joking about the pregnant thing.
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Nov 24, 2021 07:42
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Mu Zeta posted:All Americans must pass the citizenship test if they want to vote. Additionally, you must pass the citizenship test to graduate high school. This is the same test that the immigrants take except you just do it at school. You must also pass the test if you want to be pregnant. And yes you must have a valid REAL ID or passport to vote. The citizenship test is so insanely bad, useless, and pathetically easy that you may as well ask people to fart out their rear end in front of u to vote because it's the same amount of effort.
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Nov 24, 2021 07:48
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:The citizenship test is so insanely bad, useless, and pathetically easy that you may as well ask people to fart out their rear end in front of u to vote because it's the same amount of effort. You say that but there is a whole lot of people in the us who will absolutely not be able to pass it but they have been voting for decades
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Nov 24, 2021 14:11
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AHH F/UGH posted:these very forums produced the best ever comedy act and comedian, what are you guys talking about I knew about this, saw goons make fun of it, but never saw it myself, and holy poo poo lmao
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Nov 24, 2021 14:23
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Sex number
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Nov 24, 2021 15:40
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Mu Zeta posted:All Americans must pass the citizenship test if they want to vote. Additionally, you must pass the citizenship test to graduate high school. This is the same test that the immigrants take except you just do it at school. You must also pass the test if you want to be pregnant. And yes you must have a valid REAL ID or passport to vote. The citizenship test is a bunch of useless US trivia and I have no idea how knowing any of that poo poo is beneficial to being here. Just document people who immigrate here and let them get the ball rolling on citizenship/ boot them out if they get into trouble, which seems like something that would be way easier to enforce if the person is actually documented. It'll never happen though, because it would gently caress with the fact that we thrive on a modern, lesser form of slavery that involves exploiting illegal immigrants for cheap labor.
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Nov 27, 2021 10:51
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Sorry I know you were talking about US citizens not immigrants but seriously who cares about some dumb low level trivia test just flush it down the toilet for everyone.
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Nov 27, 2021 10:57
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| # ? May 7, 2024 03:55 |
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When I got my citizenship they funneled all of us into a room, just an incredibly rich tapestry of nationalities, ethnicities, and races, it was the most diversity I've ever seen in a single room. After we were all seated, they told us we were going to watch a presentation. It was a slideshow of 90% white people doing things like barbecuing, working at a construction site, being a doctor, and housewives with their children, the whole procession of badly cropped and edited images were flowing by with dissolve wipes straight out of middleschool Computer Literacy class PowerPoint lessons. This was intermixed with images of bald eagles and the American flag. This entire travesty was accompanied by Lee Greenwood's "Proud to be an American" warbling over lovely PA speakers. I had to try so hard to keep from laughing the entire time. I looked at the people gathered around me and it was a mix of apathy, bewilderment, and in some cases complete disdain on their faces. I looked at my dad and he was refusing to look directly at the slideshow. Still some of the most real-life-is-a-parody moments I've ever experienced. I wish I was kidding.
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Nov 27, 2021 11:00
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