- teen witch
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writing this now so I don’t forget
- an Anton LaVey lookalike* was pursuing me while out on a walk. we got weird with it, and his uh, security detail. real courteous fellas
- but was rudely interrupted by some sort of angry mob at a government building. we looked and somehow I banged on a door once that was made of whatever Chris Farley used to pratfall through
- somehow after that I was in South America trying to help a group of people we poo poo (my Spanish is bad and was taught with a European focus, AND I’ve never been to South America). somehow I was topless with a blazer on and tbh I might investigate that look cause it looked kinda cool.
- a middle aged man kept making eyes at me but kept trying to shield his son to not do that. I offered a brother and sister a kitten; they named it Thunk
and then I woke up to my cats wanting FOOD NOW
*it was likely just Anton LaVey however my particular flavor of satanism is being petty
teen witch fucked around with this message at 08:29 on Dec 31, 2021
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Dec 31, 2021 08:12
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 3, 2024 09:14
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- Farecoal
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There he go
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I was part of a heist crew working for this terrible boss. To escape with our latest loot we had to go through a maze composed of conservative political cartoons. At one dead end we ran into an animated cartoon which depicted a young boy who was terrified that he was gay. He was encouraged to "eject his sin" by a priest and his parents, otherwise he might be executed by higher-ups in the church. And then the dream ended! 
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Dec 31, 2021 17:21
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- Drink-Mix Man
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You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.
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I dreamt I was Dr. Who and I got really drunk and mined a guy's house with antimatter bombs as a prank.
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Dec 31, 2021 20:03
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- Farecoal
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There he go
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I dreamt I was Dr. Who and I got really drunk and mined a guy's house with antimatter bombs as a prank.
I would watch this episode
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Dec 31, 2021 20:36
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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I had a dream where the original Cowboy Bebop was a card game anime based in a high school and was really low quality.
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Jan 10, 2022 12:59
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- Viginti Septem
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Oculus Noctuae
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Michael Keaton and I were hanging out in a clothing store taking selfies and ruffling each other's hair and stuff like that.
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Jan 10, 2022 15:37
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- Viginti Septem
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Oculus Noctuae
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Sorry for the bad formatting, just woke up, wanted to get this jotted down.
Childhood neighborhood, came upon a huge patch of all varieties of shrooms, very colorful. Starting plucking them and shaking their seed all over other people's lawn like I was doing the bidding of the mushrooms to help them spread further. A few of the shrooms under some huge bush turned into really colorful alligators at one point and I was like ooh I need to get some pics of these up close. I broke out the phone and started setting up some great shots of the alligator heads before someone else was like get the gently caress outta here those are alligators and I almost got attacked.
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Jan 11, 2022 10:36
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- teen witch
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all I remember was looking for new plugs for my ears. it’s been on my to do list, as mine are currently mismatched, but not in size for once.
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Jan 11, 2022 10:56
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- kalel
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I don't remember enough of this one to put in my personal diary but I do want to write it down. I went to an arcade and approached one of the machines. some guy, probably somebody who worked there, told me it was broken and it'll eat my coins. I said "ok" and then immediately tried to stick a coin in it. the guy looked at me and said condescendingly "I just said it was broken dude" and rolled his eyes before walking away. for some reason this made me incredibly angry at myself for being such a dumbass, and I was going to direct my anger at him by telling him off but I controlled myself and calmed down. I felt really ashamed at how quick to anger I was and how I was prepared to harass this guy for no good reason. A bunch of other stuff happened but I don't remember most of it
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Jan 11, 2022 13:34
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Sorry for the bad formatting, just woke up, wanted to get this jotted down.
Childhood neighborhood, came upon a huge patch of all varieties of shrooms, very colorful. Starting plucking them and shaking their seed all over other people's lawn like I was doing the bidding of the mushrooms to help them spread further. A few of the shrooms under some huge bush turned into really colorful alligators at one point and I was like ooh I need to get some pics of these up close. I broke out the phone and started setting up some great shots of the alligator heads before someone else was like get the gently caress outta here those are alligators and I almost got attacked.
Oh no. You just stirred an old British memory long thought lost.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RE9yA9BfQB4
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Jan 11, 2022 13:40
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- Finger Prince
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I can't find the weird stuff that pops in your head immediately after waking up thread so I'll post this here instead.
Irish schoolgirl superhero - Shillelagh Moon
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Jan 13, 2022 16:35
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- Farecoal
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There he go
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A two part dream!
- A short one from a third person perspective. A femme fatale character was locked up on a space station controlled by Darth Maul. She manages to escape, finds a powered exosuit, and defeats Maul. She then ties him up, sets the station to self-destruct, and gives him one chance to escape by taking a tiny spaceship and dangling it at the very top of the station before escaping herself.
- I was a combination cat and car salesman. A woman with a very large face came in and asked about some kind of surgery to reduce her face size. I convinced her to adopt a cat instead. I went to her home to figure out what kind of cat she should get, and saw she didn't have a car! It turned out her husband was a wealthy man, and I took their family to see a line of British-made cars. They decided on some horribly ugly new model (it looked sort of like the Batmobile) that could split into two halves. They took the front half home, while me and some of the other staff followed behind in the back half. We missed the turnoff onto their street, so we tried turning onto the next street. Turns out it was filled with monsters! We managed to get out using the car's built in weaponry but the outside had been horribly damaged. We finally got to the client's house and tried to hastily repair the damage, but to no avail. The family came out and saw what had happened, decided to never use the combination cat shelter car dealership again, and I was fired from my job.
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Jan 22, 2022 19:58
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- frump truck
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hello... again!
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i had a dream that i made out with my coworker and also an old grad school classmate died
(i do not harbor any desire for this coworker, nor had i thought about the grad school classmate for 7 years, so these were both Surprising Events)
frump truck fucked around with this message at 20:36 on Jan 22, 2022
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Jan 22, 2022 20:28
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- Buttchocks
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No, I like my hat, thanks.
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Dreamt that Sarah Silverman started doing housekeeping for my parents in between her stand-up gigs. She got along well with my parents, but did not think any of my jokes were funny.
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Jan 22, 2022 21:13
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- Finger Prince
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I dreamed i was living in a house somewhere and it was autumn and there was a big tree in the yard that shed all its leaves, and it had been raining so the leaves were all sopping wet, so I couldn't use a leaf blower and had to rake all these rotten wet leaves up, and I was only really doing it to stop my neighbor tut-tutting about the state of the yard. And it wasn't even my place, it was a rental, and I didn't really like it there, but my sense of obligation forced me to engage in the crummy task of raking.
I don't know what it means but I can't imagine living in a house basically ever unless I can retire early and move somewhere where they don't cost millions of dollars or $4000/mo to rent.
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Jan 22, 2022 23:48
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- The Hello Machine
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I'm not a real machine, but I am a real Hello-sayer.
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I had a dream about my work day today and then I had to get up and go to work for real 
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Jan 26, 2022 19:51
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- Finger Prince
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I had a dream about butts. I don't think it was specifically about butts, but butts did feature prominently.
Scratch that, it was almost entirely specifically about butts.
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Jan 27, 2022 02:39
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- Finger Prince
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I just woke up from an extremely detailed dream in which I found a sick, possibly dying penguin that I saved and rehabbed back from the brink. I couldn't understand why it couldn't eat the little pieces of fish I was trying to feed it, then I found a very detailed journal from a guy who had retired from my work that detailed all the sea creatures he had seen locally, and somehow from that I found out there might be an obstruction in its mouth. I was able to pry open its mouth and it was all glued shut with tarry crude oil. Then with tweezers I was able to pull out most of this plug of tar (it was kind of like the consistency of marshmallow), and then I held the penguin upside down with its mouth open and it managed to vomit out all the foul oil inside it. I was then able to feed it pieces of fish so it would have the energy to survive and catch fish for itself. It was very greatful to me for saving it. I think I may have explained to it about the oil slick and to avoid that stuff if it sees it again.
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Jan 29, 2022 17:22
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- Farecoal
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There he go
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Jan 29, 2022 20:29
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- Farecoal
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There he go
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I was teleported to a desolate section of Alaskan coast so I could walk to a house where I was supposed to be pet sitting. Along the way I got followed by three lynx-like creatures called Salishes. When I finally got to the house, they charged in as soon as I opened the screen door and beelined for the aquarium. They took this one fish out and started ripping it apart. I was able to chase them off before they could do more damage, and somehow the fish was still alive. I was trying to nurse it back to health in the house's gigantic kitchen sink when the dream ended.
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Feb 11, 2022 04:33
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- The Hello Machine
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I'm not a real machine, but I am a real Hello-sayer.
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I had a dream that I was grocery shopping with my family and I was having no trouble finding all the stuff I wanted and the groceries were all incredibly easy to carry even though I had a lot. Then I passed the cleaning supplies and I was spending a while trying to think if there was anything in this aisle I was running low on and then my mom knocked over a can of insecticide that started spraying all over the place and I didn't want to breathe in any of the spray so I decided I'll find cleaning supplies some other time and went to go look at the potatoes instead.
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Feb 15, 2022 21:57
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- The Hello Machine
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I'm not a real machine, but I am a real Hello-sayer.
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I also had a dream where I went to the bar with my friends but I was sad because they didn't have any drinks I liked
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Feb 15, 2022 21:58
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- kalel
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I had a dream a few nights ago I was watching a romantic comedy set in the star wars universe during the events of empire strikes back about two star crossed rebel pilots. like a kind of rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead except they're gay lovers and one of them is an alien. it was the best star wars movie since the ot
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Feb 15, 2022 22:08
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- frump truck
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hello... again!
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I had a dream that there was a famous pizza place with huge lines all the time except the guy who worked there always had one hand on his dick. not even in a lascivious way, that's just where he kept his hand while he made pizza with his other hand
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Feb 16, 2022 00:39
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- Farecoal
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There he go
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The Gloop: A podcast where gloops are reviewed. What's a gloop? I don't know!
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Feb 18, 2022 17:47
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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An egg with legs that transports you to the land of the dead.
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Feb 26, 2022 12:31
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- Finger Prince
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An egg with legs that transports you to the land of the dead.
That's what you get for eating deviled eggs before bed.
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Feb 26, 2022 13:12
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- nitsuga
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That's what you get for eating deviled eggs before bed.
better than the smelly sheets.
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Feb 26, 2022 14:26
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- Farecoal
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There he go
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"Mike Democracy" (that's it)
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Apr 2, 2022 03:36
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- kalel
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"Mike Democracy" (that's it)
something like this?
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Apr 2, 2022 21:33
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- kalel
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I know lol, it just fit so well
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Apr 3, 2022 00:20
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- Farecoal
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There he go
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My mom bought all the internet infrastructure in our city. I got very upset at her and told her that it should be publicly owned by the community and we got into a screaming match about. Honestly not much different from real life
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Apr 4, 2022 23:17
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- nitsuga
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I was riding my old green bike with a bunch of randos, and at the end I crashed into some people on as tandem bike. I saw some change on the ground but they started putting me back on my bike. i rolled over them and got the change.Two quarters and a dime
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Apr 6, 2022 13:03
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 3, 2024 09:14
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Dec 31, 2021 08:12
"that's it" was my own commentary but I love it as a slogan
