Beachcomber posted:

quote:

On Sunday, my friend and her boyfriend came over for a roast dinner.

(Roast Dinner for those outside the UK is beef, Yorkshire Puddings, roast potatoes, veg and gravy.)

My friend’s boyfriend is a vegan, and I thought this would be a fun challenge.

Making a roast is a lot of work, but I didn’t want meat eaters to miss out for one vegan, so I made two completely different dinners.

I researched the best possible way to make a vegan version that’s still yummy for him. I spent a fortune on the vegan alternatives, didn't mind as I invited them over and was game for a new cooking challenge.

Anyway, I served the dinners feeling pretty proud of myself, and the boyfriend didn’t even mention the meal, just said thanks at the end. I was a little bit miffed he overlooked the work I put into his dinner but whatever.

Anyway, made a non-vegan and vegan dessert, a large crème brûlée and for him, a chocolate pudding thing that was vegan.

I also had chocolates out etc., which were not vegan and offered coffees.

The boyfriend asked for a coffee with regular milk as he fancied “a treat”… I must have pulled a face, no way that I didn’t and said, “ok.”

I’m pissed off at this point, considering the effort I went for respecting his diet requirements.

I return with coffees, and he is scoffing my part of the crème brûlée, leaving me with his vegan dessert.

I said, “that wasn’t vegan”, and he went “, eh, doesn’t matter.”

I kind of lost my poo poo and pointed out how rude it was of him to ask for his dinner to be 100% vegan, as far as not cooking potatoes in certain things and how I went above and beyond trying to make his meal pleasant for him to throw it in my face.

He laughed and said, “chill, not that big of a deal.”

Anyway, he thinks I’m a huge AH, and his GF/my friend is conflicted and in an awkward position.

If I’ve been the AH, I would apologise to clear the air for my friend, but I feel that he should.

EDIT: When I invited them for dinner, my friend said he's a vegan and gave me his number. He texted to say please no mixing etc of meats/animal produce.

titty_baby_ posted:

The hobbes is a nice touch 👌

Batterypowered7 posted:

Too bad the Goon that drew that was uh... troubled.

E:

I really liked all the ones that got made for that iteration of the thread. They were really good.

Batterypowered7 posted:

Woah woah woah there, nobody ever said anything about decent.

quote:

I’ve been seeing this guy for about two months and been noticing characteristics that I’m not fond of. Those being he doesn’t take care of his hygiene. Facial grooming, clothing, his hair, and he has even told me he didn’t brush his teeth before our dates because he forgot. My parents told me they don’t approve of him due to his appearance, they accused him of being satanic because he wore a hat with a star on it(it was a spiritual symbol and my parents are strict due to my past with men, so they profile and are a bit conservative) and his introduction towards my dad.(He just said his name, shook my dads hand, and we left for our date.)

My parents had a conversation with me for a good hour last week about what they didn’t like and what my dad sees in men like him and how they wouldn’t approve of us as a couple if it were to escalate. After our talk was done, I locked myself in my room and I assume my parents felt bad and asked if I was still gonna see him still. My mom sent me a text that she just cares about me and doesn’t want me to get hurt and that she’ll listen if I talk to her about him but this whole situation is giving me loads of anxiety. I felt like they didn’t give him a chance and definitely profiled him. I was genuinely upset but I respected their decision and I don’t think I could be with someone who left a first bad impression with my parents and decided to text him that I couldn’t see him anymore and wished him luck. Shortly after sending that text, he started spamming me. He left me a voice mail, and had 2 missed calls begging to talk to him. He apologized later for his burst and said I hit the eject button and confessed that he has a fear of abandonment because everyone “leaves him”. This kinda didn’t sit right with me and gave me “woe is me” vibes. We talked on the phone later that night to talk things out and explained in detail about his history(it’s linked with his family). I felt better after our conversation and was feeling hopeful. A couple of days later, he even went so far and went with me to the mall to pick an outfit to wear for a re-introduction for my parents and is scheduling a haircut appointment. Although, I feel a bit conflicted because I’ve just had al lot of time to think for myself. I can see this guy trying hard for me, I like him and we have A LOT of similarities but these things are a turn off for me and the situation with my parents is giving me anxiety. I just don’t know if this guy will be good for me because of the whole spamming incident. I’m not sure how to let him down softly or just wait our situation out longer because while this guy is very sweet, gentle, and considerate towards me, he also seems like he can get attached and can dump his emotional baggage onto me. Any advice?

tldr: I’ve been talking to this guy for two months and while he has redeeming qualities, my strict parents don’t approve of him due to his appearance, they basically profiled him. I send him a text saying that I can’t see him anymore and he spammed me with texts,calls, and a voicemail. Afterwards, he apologized and we talked over the phone and I felt better and hopeful about our situation but my anxiety keeps creeping out and I’m rethinking everything and feel conflicted. I’m not sure if I should express my anxiety and concerns,tell him I think we won’t work out, or see if my parents will approve of him with his new look and new introduction.

update: I’d also like to add in that it’s not my decision for my dates to introduce themselves to my parents, it’s my parents idea. They say they like to meet who I’ve been talking to briefly, I assume, to profile them and see if their “worthy”. I’d ask about why they would do that in the past and I mentioned it felt a bit uncomfortable for me but they do it out “safety purposes” and get upset for bringing up how I felt because they thought it was me going “against” them and they just wanna know if I’m safe. Although they do track my phone with life360.

quote:

Did I screw up?

So, I (f/25) have been seeing my boyfriend, Pete (m/30) for 6 months and its been wonderful. I really thought I'd found "the one" with him, but after last night I feel my world has collapsed and am not sure I've made the right decisions or if I was right. My heart feels like its been pulled out of my chest and I can't sleep. I'd never felt like this about anyone before.

My good friend, who we'll call Dave, was my boyfriend from the age of 18 to 21, after which we broke up because we wanted different things in life. We stayed good friends though because we had a great friendship and had been through so much together. He lives in a different country at the moment but we still talk semi-regularly online and in Whatsapp. Pete knew that Dave was a friend of mine but didn't know he was an ex until about 2 weeks ago, when Dave asked me to visit him in Amsterdam while he's on a work trip (I live in the UK, he lives in Italy). I had already agreed and booked a ticket before I told Pete - they were on sale for a ridiculously low price on the dates that he would be there, so I jumped at the opportunity.

Pete seemed cool with it at first but after a few days asked me if there was any history between us. I was honest and told him there was. He didn't seem too bothered and eventually asked if I thought visiting an ex in another country was appropriate whilst in a relationship. I explained to him how Dave and my relationship wasn't like that and that we were strictly platonic. He didn't seem to really react, he just gave me a look that was...sarcastic, I suppose, would be the best way to describe it. I then told him that I wouldn't be controlled and hated men that thought they owned me and could tell me what to do. I told him I was free to see who I wanted and that I found his lack of trust in me upsetting, disrespectful and, perhaps, a sign of future abusiveness. I now realise that this may have been a bad thing to say. Again, he didn't really react so I thought that was the end of it.

Then, last night, he came around to my flat and broke up with me!

I asked him why and tried to get him to explain himself and he told me that my going away was to see "another man" a deal-breaker, that he'd been in this type of situation before and wasn't going to go through it again. I asked him if this was an ultimatum - I hate ultimatums, they are tools of abusers - and he said "No, its not an ultimatum. I've decided to break up with you. I have not presented you with any options. I just came to say goodbye."
Before I could say or do anything more, he kissed me on the forehead, said goodbye and walked away. He didn't seem angry, just...sad.
I tried to call him after, but he just texted me some bullshit about how this was for the best and that he wished me no ill will and hopes I'll be happy. He turned his phone off after whilst I bombarded him with texts and voicemails.

To make matters worse, I told Dave about what happened and he replied "Oh well, guess that means we can have even more fun then! ;o)" He didn't care about my relationship and my pain - he just wanted a hookup buddy and someone to get stoned with whilst he was in Amsterdam.
Now I've lost someone I love and my best friend - who I was only interested in as friends - has a different motive to me for meeting up. I feel like I've lost my partner and I've lost a best friend at the same time.

I tried calling Pete today, about an hour ago, and he actually answered! He told me that I should look to be with someone who wasn't so abusive. He said, "Please stop calling me - this is over. Have a nice trip to Amsterdam" Then he BLOCKED me! How could he do that to someone he loves? Is he over reacting or was I? What should I do now? Was I wrong?

tl;dr:
Booked tickets to visit best friend. Got dumped because he was an ex. Did I just dodge a huge bullet...or did he?
EDIT: OK I KNOW I hosed UP. What should I do?

quote:

I live with my Mom [40], my sisters [14/12], my Aunt [30's] and her daugter [6] who are not actually related to me. My Mom and her moved in together after my father was out of the picture, after my sisters were born. We've all lived together since I was 4, we're a happy and healthy family.

I should say I'm pretty shy and suffer from anxiety.

Here's what I've pieced together: My Aunt got pregnant when she was 17 to a man from Australia that she had just met. They decided to stay together, it didn't work out and a year later she let him take the baby to Australia. She said she spoke to the father on the phone maybe half a dozen times since then, and the boy only once when he was a child.

Last year my Aunt starts getting calls from police-type people about her son, looking for birth records. The father had died and no one wanted to take him, so the Australian child protection had gotten involved and discovered he was a US citizen and had no visa or anything and were trying to figure out what to do with him. My Aunt organized to take him, and some months later we were driving out meet his plane.

My Mom and Aunt had sat as down and explained this to us, that he'd be coming to live with us permenantly, all my Aunt knew about him was his father said he was 'gifted' and 'quiet'. From that I was expected a little nerdy kid my age, I was actually excited to meet him, I thought we could be best friends! When we finally met him, I almost had a panic attack.
He's got to be at least 6'5" and he's brawny as hell, like a muscle guy. He's huge compared to any of us. I remember thinking "I don't know this person, and he could hurt me easily", he's not a boy, he's a man.

Literally the only question he had asked my Aunt when they talked on the phone about him coming was if he could bring his dog. She said of course he could. Turns out his dog is a giant German Shepherd thing. But it's bigger than any German Shepherd I've ever seen and is fluffy like a husky or wolf or something. It's as imposing as he is.

He didn't say more than 3 words the entire way home from the airport. He regularly cuts people off with things like "I don't need your life story" or by just walking out of the room while you're trying to talk to him. He wears headphones all the time and pretends he can't hear you.

He moved into the basement. My sisters and our friends had set the basement up as our space for hanging out and playing games and watching anime, we used it every day, but it's pretty large and my Mom had said we would probably be able to keep using it like that even after he moved in. There's nothing technically stopping us from still using it except for the stranger and his giant wolf sitting in the corner making us uncomfortable.

Speaking of his dog he's weird with it. It follows him everywhere, he carries it around on his shoulders (This is the worst. Ever have a man twice your size wearing a dog as big as you as a hat loom over you while you're trying to eat breakfast?), it sleeps in his bed under the covers, and I swear he takes it into the bath with him to wash it. All this might be adorable if it wasn't a giant beast. My Aunt says it was a support animal in Australia but I don't know if I believe he actually needs one.

One night not long after he came my Aunt said he was sometimes too much like his father, and he exploded at her, saying things like it's too late to complain about that now and she should have thought of that before. It was the most he'd said at one time since he'd moved in. She burst into tears and he just walked out of the house. Super rude when she's taken him in, and it was really scary to hear him start yelling out of nowhere.

They put him in our school, he started junior year with me. He started skipping classes on the second day, one morning he wasn't dressed, and my Aunt told he was going to be late for school, and he said he decided not to go that day and went back downstairs.

He leaves the house whenever he wants, never says where he's going. He goes out in the middle of the night. Doesn't even sneak out, just walks out the front door.

He drinks. Like actually drinks. He bought beer and put it in the fridge. He will drink beer with dinner and sometimes lunch.

He watches actual horse races at night on the tv and makes wagers over the phone, and plays cards on his laptop and I'm pretty sure its for real money.

He buys expensive things buy won't talk about where he gets the money from. My Aunt was worried he was selling drugs when he first moved in.

Not long after he moved in, everyone was on edge and my Mom told my Aunt she needed to get him under control, and my Aunt said she didn't know how. How do you discipline someone bigger than you who pretends he can't hear you speak.
They were talking about if and how they could make him leave, and I was so relieved. Then all of a sudden they decided he wasn't so bad:
He started spending time with my cousin, his half sister. Like a lot of time, he looks after her more than my Aunt does. His dog now follows her around the house when he's not home. He literally talks to her more than he talks to all of us combined, and she loves him. My Aunt adores him for this and when he started doing it she cried tears of joy and is now adamant that she won't kick him out.

My Mom lays dow the law and says he has to go to school. I don't know the details but instead he had my Aunt sign some forms and organized to take a test and got an acceptance letter to my first choice college in the city (That I'm worried I won't even be able to get into at all). He's going to start this coming Fall. I don't even know how it's possible and he acts like it was the easiest thing in the world. My Mom and Aunt now think he's a genius and chalk his weirdness up to being a savant or something. I thought at least he'd be moving into the dorms when the semster started, but nope he's not allowed and has to live at home.

Suddenly my Mom is judging my acedemic performance much harsher, and saying I need to work harder. She used to support my hobbies (My friends and I cosplay), now she comments about how much time I spend on it.

He started doing things around the house. First just chores and stuff, then he started fixing things. He painted the kitchen, and repaved the driveway with new concrete. My Mom started talking about how nice it is to have a man in the house, like it's all we've been missing for 12 years. Now she makes me feel like total trash if I forget to do a chore because there's this freak squatting in our basement who can somehow make a new driveway by himself?? I'm supposed to compete with that??

He offered to start paying rent. Still won't say where his money is from, we're now assuming it's gambling because it's all he does.

He was invited to Thanksgiving, and sat with the adults. My Grandfather and Uncle loved him and made plans with him. I felt so stupid being the oldest at the kids table.

He got everyone expensive gifts for Christmas. He got me a Macbook. I mentioned to my Mom how it was weird how he could afford it and she called me ungrateful, and told me to go thank him. (I said thank you but he wouldn't take his headphones off and just ignored me)

I feel like he hates all of us except my niece. My Mom just says he needs some time to adjust and how he's never lived with anyone but his Dad and he must be mourning still and we have to be supportive. But it's been months and he's still like a stranger.

After this my Mom overheard me joke to a friend that we couldn't use the basement because it was flooded with sad boy tears, and she went ballistic on me. I tried to explain that I'm having trouble coping with him and she just called me a brat.
So my Mom and my Aunt now love him now, even though he is still the same scary creep they wanted to kick out a few months ago. It's like living with a wild animal. I've tried to tell my Mom how uncomfortable he makes me and how I don't like how much he's changed our life and she says I'm selfish.

I feel like my Mom doesn't care about my feelings at all, or how I'm coping, and I hate that I'm being compared against him, even though he gets a pass on all the things he does, ranging from rude to illegal.

How can I make my Mom understand? And ideally get him out of my house?

tl;dr "cousin's" (not really related) dad died, came and lived with us, everyone hated him and was going to kick him out, now they all love him and are treating me differently, causing me anxiety but my Mom says I'm being selfish.

quote:

Together for 3 years. So when I first met my boyfriend, I wasn't really into fashion and I generally just wore jeans, T-shirts, sweaters (not that they looked bad, but they weren't really "me.") I started reading the FFA sub (used throwaway bc he knows my real username) several years ago and got way more into fashion.

Now this means that physically, I look really different than I did when I met my bf. My hair used to natural and collarbone length, now it's very short (pixie I guess)? My body doesn't look any different but I definitely dress it differently. I like to wear colorful bow-ties with suspenders (I call it "Six Flag Old Man style" haha) and I also have a fuzzy bucket hat that I sometimes pair with it. Generally if something is deliberately "unflattering" and stands out, I want to wear it. I know it looks weird, that's the point, but it's me and it's what I feel good in. My style is basically over-the-top colorful little old British man haha...i wear lots boxy menswear in vibrant colors with deliberately weird hats and accessories and Dad sneakers.

Anyway, my bf doesn't say anything about my clothes unless I ask him, but recently when we were going on a date night I wore this outfit that was like a vintage 90s print vest, bright trousers, and button down shirt with Dad sneakers (I posted a pic on another sub where I asked this question but I can't link here). I asked him what he thought of the outfit. And he said "Honestly, I'm not really a fan of it."

Now, I know I asked him, but if he loves me, how can he "not be a fan" of something that makes me happy? I probed a little deeper and asked him how he felt about my other clothes and he admitted that he loved me regardless of how I dressed/looked, but he preferred my hair longer and preferred my old way of dressing.

Obviously we didn't go to dinner that night. He still wanted to, but I just wanted to sit in bed. I didn't even want to look at him.

Now obviously he's allowed to have preferences- but I'm not a stranger, I'm his girlfriend. It feels borderline controlling to tell me he's "not a fan" of my style. Because what am I supposed to do? I'm obviously going to keep dressing this way so I have to think about in the back of my mind that he doesn't like it. awesome.

I don't even want to look at him now. He should have just told me he liked it. And more than that, he should have actually liked it because if he likes me, he should like anything that makes me happy.

I told my mom about the situation and she says that she agrees with him, she also isn't a fan of my style, that I can still dress this way if I want but that I can't expect everyone to like it. And that's fine, my mom doesn't have to like it. But a SO should definitely like it, or at least pretend to.

Am I overreacting?

TLDR: Boyfriend being controlling about my clothes, not sure if I am overreacting

pentyne posted:

Less talking more poly cheese bags

quote:

My wife has a nasty habit of biting her nails. And she's not super on top of keeping her hands washed.

I like to eat handfuls of shredded cheese as a snack.

My wife will take my bag of cheese out of the fridge and stick her unwashed hand into my cheese, immediately after taking her fingers out of her mouth.

That is loving disgusting IMO. Now the whole bag of cheese is ruined, and my snack is gone.

So I started buying her her own bags of cheese. I clearly labeled each bag with either her name or mine.

FF to the next morning, and she has my bag of cheese. Hers is still sitting in the fridge (opened, and contaminated by her unwashed hands). She didn't bother checking the labels. So now she has two bags of cheese, and I have 0.

Next step: I buy a mini fridge and put it in my bedroom. We have seperate bedrooms, so I figured I was solving the problem.

But NO. 3 days later, I get home from work and she's sitting on my bed, eating my bag of cheese. There was still plenty of cheese in the main fridge. This is not a money issue. I don't care if she eats 100 bags of cheese. I just want my cheese to be my cheese, so I know it hasn't had unwashed hands in it.

So I installed a deadbolt on my bedroom door, and I keep my room locked whenever I am not home. Now my cheese is safe. My wife still has plenty of cheese to eat. She just no longer has access to my loving cheese.

She says it shouldn't matter, since we kiss all the time. But I don't want to eat cheese that has someone else's stale saliva on it. No matter how much I love her, food safety is food safety. She is introducing germs into a fertile breeding ground, and I just can't get over that. I need my cheese to be clean.

So, AITA?

quote:

I get that it isn't common. But we have our reasons:

1) She snores.

2) I snore.

3) She likes to sleep in a 72 degree room, while I prefer a 66 degree room.

4) She's a blanket hog.

5) We are polyamorous, and sometimes we need our own separate beds for "activities".

6) We keep different schedules. I wake up at midnight and go to sleep at 6pm. She wakes up at noon and goes to sleep at 10pm. I don't want to wake her up coming to bed, and vice versa.

7) We can afford it. Everyone should have their own space if they can afford to, IMO. Everyone deserves to have some place that is theirs and theirs alone.

quote:

but you don't let her into yours... seems pretty weird to me, but that's besides the point.

I would have no problem letting her in my room, if she would accept that my cheese is my cheese. There was no lock on this door last week. We've been married for 28 years. This is a new problem.

quote:

I dig my hand in the bag too. The difference is that my hands are washed before I do it, and I don't stick my hand in other people's cheese. I'll grab a 16oz bag of cheese and just go to town on it like it's a bag of chips. My kids do it too. But they know not to grab the bag with my name on it. My 9 year old has more respect for boundaries than my wife does.

quote:

That's the thing. I was raised the same. You never touch food with unwashed hands. And you super never touch someone else's food unless you're sure your hands are sanitary.

My wife was raised in the boonies. I've literally never once seen my MiL wash her hands in the 28 years I've known her. They're a "poo poo with the door open" kind of family. Hella redneck (and I don't mean that as an insult, her mom can build a house from scratch.).

I'm not sure if my mom went too far with her food safety, or if my MiL didn't go far enough. But my gut tells me my way is safer.

Metaline posted:

Do people chant DICAP in the replies of these Reddit threads or is that bannable?

BabyFur Denny posted:

DICAP is a lovely lie, at least if you have a minimum of standards regarding the quality of dicks. It's incredibly hard to find decent dick.

BabyFur Denny posted:

Implicitly yes, DIPAC as an advise includes the promise that there's something better and easily attainable out there, while in most cases it will turn out to be a sidegrade from one lovely dick to another lovely dick, at best.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

(22/F) How to politely tell a man(27/M) that is noticeably attached in the talking stage that we won’t work out anymore?

quote:

This morning, my daughter (30F) and I were on one of our morning walks. She was telling me that she has a big team meeting (virtual) with her boss that's like 4 people above her. That means there will probably be about 30 people on the meeting. I asked her if she was going to make herself all pretty for it then. She immediately got annoyed and said something like, "no, I'm going to dress like I usually do, he wears t-shits to meetings so it's not a big deal". I know that she usually wears jeans and shirts that I would classify as a step above t-shirts, but a step below what she would wear into the office. I've asked this question to her many times before and she always gets annoyed, and I don't understand why...I mean, it's just a question, and I'm just making conversation. Is she overreacting or AITA?

Mx. posted:

AITA for getting annoyed with my friends vegan boyfriend?

lol

Beachcomber posted:

My [22F] boyfriend [23M] hates my clothes.

Beachcomber posted:

My [22F] boyfriend [23M] hates my clothes.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for asking if my daughter was going to dress nicely for one of her meetings today?

Mx. posted:

AITA for getting annoyed with my friends vegan boyfriend?

lol

Invisible Clergy posted:

Yes, this dynasty of threads is where the expression originated. Feel free to say it here if it brings you joy.

Haifisch posted:

"I regularly imply that my daughter is too stupid to know what the people at her workplace view as appropriate meeting clothes, why is she mad I was just making conversation, it's just a question!!"

Evil Willow posted:

AITA because I decided to stop cooking and cleaning to teach my husband a lesson in appreciation?

Invisible Clergy posted:

This woman's fundie parents are abusing her (0 points awarded for guessing the guy is a member of a nonwhite race) This guy also sounds like he sucks and is waving a platoon of red flags. There's no safe way for a woman to tell a man she's not interested in him or any spell to cast to prevent him from stalking her but yikes as mentioning you don't brush your teeth to your date.

quote:

that is from quora so I don't think there's any body to the post

NFX posted:

Counterpoint:
If my wife refuses to shave her nether area and I would like her to, should I stop brushing my teeth?

quote:

We are both in our mid-20's. My girlfriend comes from a super religious household in which she was told constantly that porn and even masturbation is sinful and will get her sent to hell. Recently, she was on my laptop and found some videos I had saved (yes, pornographic ones) and apparently copied them to her computer. I first found this out when I came home one day to her masturbating at her computer, legs completely spread, to one of these videos. While she does this, she does not respond to me when I talk to her or even turn her head. She looks furious as she does this. She has been timing it so that it has happened almost every day since I've come back from work for the past two weeks. She will not hold a conversation with me about it after the fact. This is a girl who would always tell me she never masturbated and that it was sinful. Please help.

TLDR: Confusion

quote:

It has been exactly one week since I first posted (link here) about this difficult problem with my girlfriend, and I figured you all deserved an update due to how much you helped me.

A lot of your advice (and I did read and ponder every word) swirled in the back of my head constantly, but I was initially having a tough time accepting my situation for what you all said it was. That this wasn't healthy, that she was crazy, that I was a wuss for taking it, that we had no chance -- I hated the pessimistic reality of it all and I wanted it to be wrong. I wanted to keep faith in us. After two more nights of coming home to her doing the same thing again (and me trying to gently get her to stop with several "hey"s, waving my hand in front of her face, and even whistling to no avail), I finally faced how much I was lying to myself about the true severity of the communication rift between us and how much we lacked the ability to connect on a level that the most basic relationship should have. And I went to sleep in a separate room (I couldn't handle "lying" any longer by sleeping in the same bed as her as if nothing was happening) feeling physically sick.

The third night is when I finally got her attention. I didn't yell at her, I didn't bring her family/friends home with me, I didn't edit the videos to surprise her with my face, I didn't join in with her. I just stood next to her and started reading her a letter which I had taken the time to prepare off and on throughout my work day. Her usually angered expression looked like it actually started to turn sad (maybe even regretful?) as I told her I loved her, and cared for her, and wanted nothing more than for us to work. I even included a poem that her and I had made together about our relationship during better times. She never stopped moving her hands and staring forward as I read, but I did notice tears start to come from her eyes and I started to get teary too. When my letter concluded, I asked her if she wanted to finally stop and she responded by screaming and turning up the volume of the porn, so I took that as her needing time to herself and left.

The next night, I was pleasantly surprised to find her not at the computer, but instead back to her normal hobbies. She still would not acknowledge that she had done anything at all, but this was a huge improvement that I can only imagine getting better as time goes on. Reddit, I think this problem was solved and I could not have done it without you. Thank you so much for your advice and willingness to help to the fullest. You have helped strengthen my relationship with this wonderful girl and I can't imagine life in a more beautiful way.

TL;DR: Problem nearly solved, things only getting better due to your advice. Thank you so much.

quote:

I don't know how many of you will remember me, but I'm one who had this problem and this subsequent problem (which I at the time didn't realize was a problem). I am happy to say that this psycho bitch is no longer my girlfriend, and if things go as I want them to, no longer in my life at all.

Things were going really well, everything just fine and dandy, for over a month after I read her my heartfelt letter. Yet again, however, your comments were swirling in the back of my mind and it wasn't enough for me that this girl I shared a home with was smiling, bubbly, happy, back to 'normal', whatever -- because she never spoke about what she did. I didn't bring it up myself because I thought she would come to me and maybe even apologize about it when she was ready, but nope, she just hummed around the house like some sort of innocent princess.

Well, recently she was cooking dinner and I was just sitting at the table staring at her, thinking about everything and feeling my blood boil. I didn't understand how she could act this way, how she could just do something so deranged and then cover it up. And I realized with the way things were going, she was never going to acknowledge her behavior or take responsibility for her actions. So I finally said something, but I hid my rage by speaking slowly and calmly: "So what was that thing with you masturbating?"

I realized it was another pretend-she-didn't-hear-me moment for her as she just stood still for a while in silence, so I sighed and said something like "We'll just talk about it whenever you're comfortable." Apparently that set her off. She opened up the kitchen drawer to show me a photo of an actress that I apparently had complimented during a movie while screaming "You find her attractive? You find her attractive?" and pointing at her face. I started screaming over her "so what if I find her attractive" over and over until, yes, she got a knife. I immediately backed away in the sinking realization that she might actually be crazy enough to stab me, but she then pointed the knife at herself, or more specifically her vagina, and said she "didn't even need it" because I "don't appreciate it" and "no one has genitals in the afterlife". I didn't want to be around for it to escalate further so I booked out of there while she hurled insults at me. Right away I called her mom, since her parents live very closeby, but her mom didn't even let me finish explaining before she was screaming at me over the phone saying she "knew what I did" and that I was a "Satan shitplane" so I hung up and had to ignore her literally 37 calls afterward.

Long story short, all of my contact with this girl from now on will be through writing if I can control it. I'm staying with a friend now while this stuff gets sorted. I'm not really sure what my next step will be, but you guys deserve a thank you for all of your advice as well as an apology from me for not seeing the light sooner. Hopefully this will be the last time I update or even think about this chick and her hosed up family. Bye.

TLDR: Girlfriend is now ex-girlfriend due to insanity, and her mom is just as bad.

packetmantis posted:

r/relationships: no one has genitals in the afterlife

therobit posted:

Girlfriend [24/f] masturbates to the same thing I do to get back at me [26/m]?

[UPDATE] Girlfriend [24/f] masturbates to the same thing I do to get back at me [26/m]?

Long-awaited update about this psycho b who masturbated to my porn to prove some twisted point

Das Boo posted:

I wish, I wish, I wish he had taken the "come home with her family" route.

quote:

I force myself to go to the gym, I have all kinds of tactics in place and I am happy when I showed up and try the exercises as good as I can. If I am tired, unmotivated, I do it. Look past the people that go there for small talk and exercise.

So I was training in an unmotivated state and I just wanted the exercises to be over and I did not put the weights back to where they "belonged" immediately, so one of the gym staff approached me and told me to put them away.

I said, yeah, soon. I wanted to come back to my small setup of weights later.

So he approached me again, shouted through the gym for everyone to hear that I had to listen to him and otherwise he'd get me thrown out and some other threats.

Now here probably most agree that he is the rear end in a top hat. But this is not about this. Because he later added: "You are not at home".

Of course, you could read this as an insult as in "your home is a mess you freak", but let's just interpret it as "we have a plan here of how things have to happen" and he is right. I am not at home. But I also think that I cannot always be my best self when I go out of my way to execute in spite of a huge lack of motivation, tired and all of this. There is only so much motivation and I put it into coming there and executing my plan.

Now it is hard enough for people to exercise continuously if they took a long break, shouldn't gyms encourage people for "showing up" and trying their best as in "yes, you did not move the weights back (sth. the overpaid staff should do imo, but I digress), but that's okay, you try your best and we want you to succeed".

They have all of those motivational posters there saying "You can do it, just one more repetition" and so on.

AITA?

AmiYumi posted:

Do I really get the honor? First in the new thread??

Ahem…DICAP!

Barudak posted:

Let the record show: Barudak, also known as B. Arudak, Baru Dak, and in the duchy of vergonia Kadurab,

Beachcomber posted:

Dogcape/Dogcloak barbarian

I [16F] feel like my "cousin" [16-17M] is ruining my life, how can I make my Mom understand?

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for not putting the weights back in the gym because of priorities.

Quackles posted:

Do we have anything to fear from your evil double, Baru Dark?

packetmantis posted:

r/relationships: no one has genitals in the afterlife

kntfkr posted:

Everyone below this post is an rear end in a top hat.

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for not putting the weights back in the gym because of priorities.
Now here probably most agree that he is the rear end in a top hat.