quote:

I (30sF) have been married to Buford (40sM) for about a year. I brought Jay (8M) and Juniper (5F) from a past marriage, and until very recently we thought Buford had no children. We had no intentions of having more kids.

As it happens though, it turns out Buford actually does have a daughter Markita (15F). Her mom did not tell Buford about her pregnancy and ultimately moved states, so he had no idea until she reached out on FB. We were a little dubious, but she turned out to be right. Markita and mom moved back to our state in the meantime and live about 40 minutes from us. She wants visitation with Buford which he has agreed to. There's no formal custody arrangement between Buford and mom so it's basically just sporadic weekends and school holidays. Usually this is just between the two of them, but sometimes she will come to the house and has even slept over a few times.

Here's my dilemma. Markita is hearing impaired. I'm not entirely sure to what degree but I do know she almost exclusively uses ASL. No one in our family knows ASL but Buford has been trying to learn for her. The last time Markita was here he pitched to me the idea of us learning ASL as a family.

The truth is that I really don't know if that is worth the effort. Markita is present at our house maybe once a month. I would consider it if she were going to be over more often, but I work 48 hours a week and I just don't have time for something like this. I also know 3 different languages, one of which was in adulthood and it was very difficult for me even fifteen years ago. I just can't fit something like that into my life, but I told Buford that Jay and Juniper can still learn if they're interested.

The kids don't want to since I'm not and now Buford thinks I'm being ridiculous since I have no other way of communicating with Markita. I told him we can work something out but he didn't want to hear it honestly. Markita also thinks I should learn some basic signs but between work and kids even that would be a struggle. AITA for not wanting to learn sign language?

"top comment posted:

YTA. One of the biggest ones I have seen on here. Like Top 3. You might be even a bigger a-hole than the dude who showed up to his ex-girlfriend’s mom’s funeral (that he wasn’t invited to) with a new girlfriend

reply posted:

OP is up there with the guy who threw out all his girlfriend's quirky socks because he thought they would embarrass him in front of his parents

reply posted:

Also up there with the guy who stopped paying for therapy for his daughter because her grades were low

reply posted:

Really? Top 3?

Over the 2 lasagne guys? (One who took a week's worth of food from his gf, refused to return it or give her the money she spent back and the other took his wife's dead grandmothers frozen lasagne to a work pot luck when he knew she was saving it for the anniversary of grandmothers death to share with her mum)

Over the mum who let her daughter file a false abuse claim against her ex to get custody even though dad was a stand up guy and didn't tell daughter mums cheating is why they got divorced?

Over the barely pregnant (like 4 days since did the test) woman who demanded comfort and special treatment at a family funeral where the her cousin in law buried her husband, 3yo and 9 month old?

The "noki" guy that wanted McDonald's prices and portion sizes at a decent restaurant and got him and his gf kicked out?

Than the guy that made his gf cook all the time and never took her out because "she cooks better than any chef" and "she likes olive garden" on the maybe 3 times a year he takes her out (hint, she does NOT like olive garden)?

The guy who spent money his in-laws gave him for his kids college fund on an old Bronco?

Just I think top 10 or 20 is far more reasonable a judgement.

quote:

OP almost reminds me of that one guy who threw out his native gf’s umbilical cord and the little pouch her mother had put it in behind her back because it smelled bad. I still shake my head when I remember that post

quote:

She’s right up there with the mom who had her daughter’s birthday party at Build-a-Bear and then expected the guests to give the bear that they built (and paid for) to her daughter

quote:

Anyone remember the guy who hated that his (very awesome) girlfriend, who was a school teacher, Ms Frizzled it up and wore themed dresses for her students? He was such a dick. Everyone loved it but him.

quote:

You know who else was a loving dick? That guy who ate the entire party sub.

quote:

I was on a roller coaster (I guess if you can consider it that), its one of those water rides that have tracks to pull it. Anyways, the boat fits like 6 people in it, and I was with a family of 5. I was in the back, and when we were going up to the top, they asked me to duck down as when we're going straight down there will be a photo and they wanted a family photo.

I'm not sure if its against the rules, I think I would've been safe if i did it, but I really just didn't want to and I felt like I shouldn't have to duck for them so I said no. The parents kept arguing with me telling me to duck so they can have their family photo and they called me a spoilt brat, I told them to go gently caress themselves and then we started going down. This is where I may have been the rear end in a top hat, I flipped off the camera and made a funny face with my tongue out.

Holy poo poo when they looked at the photos they were livid, saying I ruined their opportunity to have a nice family photo. They asked where my parents where and I told them to get lost. Their kids were just laughing their asses off. I'm not sure if they bought the photos or not. THe dude who operated the photos said I was immature and I need to grow up

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

all the stories are fake, some fakes are badly written. Threadban for anyone dumb enough to announce any particular story's fake as though they've cracked some kind of grand mystery imho, but it's ok to make fun of some sadsack's terrible revenge fantasy if you have a funny joke

I don't want to look at kids while I'm having sex

quote:

Hey guys, throwaway account because my boyfriend knows my normal account.

I don’t really know how to begin so I’m just gonna dive right in. We’ve been together for four years now, living together for 2 and every aspect of our relationship is honestly perfect and I have a sneaking suspicion that he’s planning to propose sometime in the near future.

Last year however his younger brother who was only 6 years old, passed away. This took a major toll on my bf (obviously), but especially because he was extremely close with his little brother. His parents are major screw ups to put it bluntly, and as a result his little brother spent a lot of time living with us. To the point where we practically became like a mum and dad to him and even discussed filing for custody.

The problem arises when a few months ago my boyfriend mentioned he wanted to get a tattoo to commemorate his little brother and asked what my thoughts were on this idea. He has no other tattoos and never expressed wanting one before so i was a little surprised but completely supportive. He talked about getting his brother’s name or date of birth or something equally sentimental. Cool, I thought. That all sounds beautiful.

We didn’t really talk about it again until he told me he had booked a time in with a tattoo artist. It was on a day I was working so I couldn’t go with him and when I asked what he had decided on he said he wanted it to be a surprise. I was really looking forward to seeing it, thinking it was going to be something small and cute.

I did not expect him to come back with an almost life-size headshot of his little brother slapped across the majority of his feckin chest.

It was definitely a shock but I reacted positively and told him it looked really good. It was only the outlines and such at this point and he said he was going to go back and get it filled in...

It’s been a few sessions now and he’s had the whole shebang done to it. Colours, shading, everything to the point where it could be mistaken for a photo now. I can’t deny that it’s a seriously incredible piece of artwork. Bf is super proud of it and I honestly think it’s pretty cool as well.

My only issue with it is during sex.

It takes up such a large space on his chest and it’s the only tattoo he’s got. It doesn’t help that he’s pretty pale and doesn’t have much hair so the tattoo REALLY stands out and my attention is constantly drawn to it.

Not to mention this thing is like the Mona fu*cken Lisa.

Any position that we’re facing each other in, I always end up making eye contact with it. And every time I do it makes me feel so uncomfortable and absolutely kills the mood for me. Every time. Ignoring the fact that this kid was practically like a son to us, I doubt I would be able to have sex while looking into the eyes of ANY six year old.

It’s honestly ruining our sex life.

I haven’t told my bf any of this because I feel like I can’t say anything negative about the tattoo because of its meaning and the fact that it’s permanent. (I know lasers exist but I doubt he’ll ever get rid of it)

Lately we’ve mainly been having sex in positions where I’m facing away from him, or while we keep our shirts on and he’s started to notice this and has told me he’s worried I’m not attracted to him anymore.

I am attracted to him. I’m just not attracted to the six year old on his chest.

What can I do in this situation? The thought of telling him this, or anything negative about the tattoo makes me feel like a monster. But looking at it during sex is making me feel like a monster too.

Should I talk to him? Am I overreacting? Is our sex life officially dead?

Thanks for any help you guys can give.

tl;dr- My boyfriend got a massive tattoo of his recently deceased six-year-old brother on his chest and I can’t stop making eye contact with it during sex.

———————————————————

Update: This has gotten a lot more attention than I anticipated. Some people are saying it’s reached the front page which is making me consider deleting this post. I’m not sure it would be the worst thing if my bf did see this however. Currently debating whether I should just let fate take the wheel on this one.

Otherwise I’ve received some really phenomenal advice on how I should talk to him and what alternatives we have to make sex less awkward. I was honestly beginning to think this was a relationship-ending issue before I made this post but you guys have given me a lot of hope that this is something we can work through. So thank you so much.

I’ll make a new post to update how things go once I’ve talked to my bf about all this. If he doesn’t see this post first I think I’ll at least show him some of your comments depending on how he reacts.

quote:

I don't know what the hell has happened but things have turned into an absolute clusterfuck.

I received some really great advice from people and honestly thought talking to him was going to work out well. I was still pretty nervous though and not sure how to bring it up. His mood has been pretty touch and go lately so I was worried about picking the right moment and kept putting it off until later in the night when he tried initiating sex and I thought that was a good time to start the conversation.

I basically said I know you've noticed something's been off lately and thats because I haven't been entirely comfortable during sex since you got your new tattoo. I absolutely love it for what it is and what it stands for but it's just difficult for me to stay in the moment because it's really hard not to look at it and be reminded of what happened. I stopped here to see what his reaction would be so far and he was just silent for awhile and then said "so... what? You want me to get rid of him?"

I EXPLICITLY said "No I would never ask you to do that" and then told him it might just take me some time to get used to it until its not so noticeable anymore and in the meantime maybe he could keep his shirt on during sex or we could try some other ideas. This is where poo poo started to hit the fan. He said all that sounded ridiculous to him and that I was being extremely insensitive and selfish and "honestly sick' for even associating his little brother with sex and asked if I was loving sick in the head.

I hosed up here. I shouldn't have said this but I don't handle confrontation well and I pretty much lost my cool at this point. I told him to go jack off to a picture of his brother and tell me how that makes him feel. He completely exploded at this point saying that was a disgusting thing to say (I agree) and started calling me a number of names. He then started to get extremely personal saying I never cared about his little brother and that I'm probably happy he's out of the picture.

That is hand down the most hurtful thng he has ever said to me. I still cant bellieve it and I don't think I'm ever going to forgive hm for that. Like seriously what the gently caress? just thinking about it is makng me loving shake. He knows exactly how I feel about his brother and how hard his death was for both of us and for him to stil say something like that? He can seriously go gently caress himself because I'm definitely not gonna be doing it anymore.

He then started shoutng that if it was seriously that big of a deal for me that he would get the whole thing layered off but he hopes I know I'm basically killing his brother all over again??? I was crying so much at this point I didn't get a chance to respond before he stormed out of the house and just took off. I have no idea where he's gone or where he is and I honestly don't even know if I care at this point. he's not answering his phone or responding to any messages.

I still can't believe he reacted the way he did. He was like a completely different person. Not once in the four years I've know him out of all the arguments we've had has he ever spoken to me like that before. I was up all night on the phone to my sister and she was just as shocked as I was.

THEN this loving morning I get a lovely loving call from my boyfriend's sister who called me disgusting and heartless and evil for FORCING HIM TO REMOVE THE TATTOO. Apparently he's been going around to his family and alllour friends telling them I've given him an ultimatum of me or his tattoo.

WHAT THE gently caress?!?! I EXPLICITLY TOLD HIM I WOULD NEVER ASK HIM TO DO THAT. When I told his sister this she just called me a lying loving bitch, wished all my siblings dead and then hung up. Feckin lovely.

I seruiously don't know why he's reacted the way he has or why he's going around lying about me making him get rid of it. I'm still in total shock and just so confused. I hoped typing all this out would help me figure things out a little but reading this over has just made me angrier. I don't see what I could have done differently? I shouldn't have made the jack off comment, that's clearly what set him off but that doesn't explain why he's lying now to everyone.

I'm just at a complete loss right now. A day ago I thought of this guy as my future husband and now I just don't know. I wish I never said anything.

I've spent four years of my life with this guy but this is a side of him I've never seen before. Im so upset right now my imeddiate thought is to just cut things off completely. How the fuk would we even move froward from this? Am I the one in the wrong here for the comment I made? I know I shouldn't have said it but I personally think he completely overreacted to it. and how am I supposed to convince our friends he's the one lying here? Anything I sy is just going to sound like I'm lying in response to their negative reactions. I seriously have no idea what Im supposed to do here. I feel like this is going to ruin my life.

I just don't loving know.

quote:

Super long post incoming so apologies in advance.

I wasn't going to bother with this update but after all the support and love I received from people in this sub I feel like the least I can do in return is give some closure for anyone wanting it. Before I begin I just want to thank everyone who gave advice, I didn't respond to everyone but I read almost every response. I stopped reading my Pm's because a lot of the messages I was getting were graphic and negative but I appreciate the few of you who were positive and helpful in your messages and I'm sorry if I didn't respond to you. Now on to the update:

It's been a crazy week and a lot has happened since our argument. My bf spent two nights at his sisters and during this time I decided to just send him a link to my reddit posts instead of writing him a letter. I felt like everything I needed to say was in those two threads and it would be good for him to read people's opinions. His sister read through them too and that started a massive argument between them that revealed some shocking information that led to my bf coming back home and completely breaking down.

We spent the whole night talking where he revealed he's been using a lot of drugs recently and drinking a lot more to deal with his grief. He told me he feels responsible for his brothers death because while I was pushing for us to file for custody he was on the fence about the idea and now he feels his brother would still be alive if we had filed for custody over him when I first suggested it. He said because of this he's been developing a lot of feelings of resentment towards me (I don't really understand why and neither does he) which he recognises as being unjustified so he's been bottling them up along with everything else which essentially led to him flipping out when I brought up his tattoo. Obviously I knew he was having a hard time dealing with his brother's death but I must have been viewing the world through rose coloured glasses because I never would have realised how bad it was if he hadn't told me.

I was really hoping it wouldn't be the case but unfortunately a few of you redditors were right on the mark. He regrets the tattoo and discovering I wasn't happy with it either sent him over the edge into panic mode and he tried to use it as an excuse because the very idea of regretting the tattoo or wanting to get rid of it makes him feel even guiltier. Truth is he hates the tattoo and he tries not to look at it at all. He apologised about a hundred times for reacting the way he did and for not considering he was making me look at the tattoo in general, as well as during sex. He completely understood where I was coming from when I brought it up, he just reacted the way he did because he essentially had a "mental breakdown" in his opinion.

I apologised for my "jack off" comment. Initially he was quite shocked and did take the comment as an insult but after reading the reddit post he understood what I meant and was very forgiving. He apologised for accusing me of never caring for his brother.

We then talked about the argument he had with his sister...

Up until now I was under the impression that my bf went on his own to get the tattoo done, but it turns out his sister went with him to his first session and it was her who convinced him to get a portrait on his chest whereas my bf originally wanted to get a drawing of his brothers favorite stuffed animal. Not only this but during their argument it came out that his sister wanted him to get such a drastic tattoo because she was hoping it would cause a rift between us. Apparently she felt like I was tearing their family apart by trying to file for custody and she doesn't want me dating her brother anymore.

If that sounds totally ridiculous to you, it's because it is. Not defending her actions, what she's done is absolutely deplorable, but a history of mental illness bipolar/schizophrenia does run in their family. We're certain his sister suffers from bipolar disorder as well, or possibly something else, but she refuses to be diagnosed.

My bf didn't go around to all our friends, that was his sister lying. She was the only one he told and he's promised to set the story straight for any family members she mentions it to. We've both apologised for what we said and we're going to stay together and work through things together.

In the short term we're going to be getting in contact with a grief counsellor and try out some of the suggestions for how to make things less awkward in the bedroom. In the long term we're going to consult a tattoo artist to see what can be done in terms of lasering it off/turning it in to something else. Bf doesn't feel comfortable lasering it off and currently his favorite idea is to get a heap more tattoos to try and make it less noticeable. I'm a fan of this idea as well.

As for his sister, bf is currently debating whether to cut her out of his life or not. I don't think he should, I feel like he's lost enough family but I'll respect whatever decision he comes to.

I think that just about wraps everything up. A huge thank you again to everyone for all your advice and help, it really helped me get through this horrible and awkward situation.

I mean this in the nicest way possible when I say I hope I never have to post on this subreddit again.

tl;dr - We both apologised for what we said in the heat of the moment. Boyfriend revealed he regrets getting the tattoo and it was his sister who convinced him to get it in the hopes it would break us up. We're seeking grief counselling and considering getting more tattoos to make the current one less noticeable.

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA I refused to share diet with my pregnant wife

Dr. Video Games 0135 posted:

quote:

I had three sons and when I had my daughter I was so excited. I decided to name her my all time favorite girl name that I read in a book in adolescence: Cataleya. Her entire life since preschool she insisted on being called “Taley” pronounced like “tally mark”. It’s so ugly. I have always refused to call her that nickname and always called her by her full name which she said she didn’t like.

I was very upset when she legally changed her name to Taley in her early twenties and told her that no matter what I’d call her Cataleya. She said that I was being disrespectful but we eventually got over it. She got married and in June and ever since then she’s been extremely persistent on being called her nickname only. She says that she thinks I’m being rude for being the only person to use her “old name” and I said it’s because it’s her name! Even her nickname is a shorter version of her name. I told her there’s nothing wrong with having a nickname but I won’t call her it. She threatened to cut me off! My husband says she’s overreacting but her brothers are on her side. Aita?

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

My freshman roommate didn't know that you do laundry, I only found out what the smell was on the day we were moving out when he stripped his bed and I saw the Psycho-style full-body grease stain on his sheets. He was still not the most inept dude I met that year.

quote:

My (34f) baby cousin Amy (24f) asked me to be a bridesmaid. Background: I have bad eyesight and wear glasses. I only take them off to shower and sleep.

Before the wedding Amy told me another bridesmaid was going to get contacts specifically for this, implying I should as well. I reminded Amy that I don't wear contacts but since I have multiple pairs of frames she can pick which set I wear. I showed her all my options. She picks the neon pink ones because she likes how they look with my dress.

Fast forward to the day of the wedding. While we're getting ready, Amy's mom (my aunt) asks me if I need access to the mirror so I can put in my contacts. I'm like, "No, I don't wear contacts" and she makes this disgusted face but I find somewhere else to be before she can keep talking. We get all lined up and Amy's mom starts fussing about my glasses again. She asks if I can take them off for the ceremony which is a huge no. I cannot see ANYTHING without my glasses. She asks if I have a less flashy pair, and I say no, this the only pair I brought with me. Amy tells her mom it's fine and they kinda tussle but the ceremony is starting so that's the end of that.

Now it's time for photos and yet again Amy's mom is coming for my medically required accessibility aids. She tells me I'm ruining the photos and to take off my glasses. I protest that I can't see without my glasses. She says I don't need to see to smile. I say I'm not comfortable putting my glasses down somewhere strange and she offers to hold them for me. I ask why the photographer can't just adjust the lights but the photographer has a very clear "don't bring me into this" reaction (poor guy). This whole time Amy's either trying to tell her mom to lay off or pleading with me just to do it. Finally I say that I do not want to be photographed without my glasses and that's final. If I'm ruining the photos so much, they can continue without me. I take my bouquet and leave. Later at the reception I keep my distance from Amy and her mom. Before it's over though I pull Amy aside to talk. She apologizes for her mom, I apologize for losing my cool. We hug and everything's good between us.

That was Saturday and Amy's on her honeymoon, but Amy's mom out here slandering me to the world. The photos went up on Facebook and when my grandma asked why I wasn't in half the shots ... yeah. My parents are on my side, but other people are saying I was stubborn for no reason and taking off my glasses wouldn't kill me. That might be the case but I wasn't comfortable doing it. I'm not ashamed of my glasses and hate anyone trying to make me feel otherwise. Maybe my baby cousin's wedding wasn't the place to dig in my heels but I'm sick of the world acting like I'm ugly just for existing the way God made me. AITA?

quote:

I 23f have a candy bucket that I fill up at work. I buy the candy with my own money. I used to leave the bucket on my desk even after I left work but I've started coming in and seeing the bucket completely empty. And this isn't a small bucket either, it's a bowl candy dish the size of a dinner plate and about 5 inches deep and I only work with 3 other people on my floor. It's fine that people are enjoying the candy but I know it's not normal to run out this much. I asked my coworker Nia about it and she said she saw someone from another department empty the bowl into their purse. I was a bit pissed so I decided that I'd put the bowl away when I left to clock out. Today I came in to a nasty note on my desk saying that if I don't want people to have the candy then to just not put it out period since I wanna police people. Nia says it is still my candy and I'm choosing to share but my other coworkers are saying that it comes with territory of offering candy freely. I don't know, am I an rear end here?

◇ the candy is from Costco, I get 2 variety bags, 1 chocolate and one with like sour straws and twizzlers!! The bags are $16-ish , it usually lasts me all halloween month.

And the candy dish is just a pumpkin bowl from Michael's. Spook safely!!

Elissimpark posted:

As a glasses wearer, I'm afraid I'll have to fight you

I became instantly angry

*takes glasses off, gets comically entangled in a banana lounge and falls off hotel balcony.

quote:

My son wanted to have a Halloween party with his dad, but his dad was going to be away from this Friday, so we had it last weekend. Before the party, I let my son pick out headbands for all of the guests. He chose devil horns for my ex and cat ears for me.

My ex and I haven’t been getting along at all recently. Mostly because he intentionally sabotaged my new relationship and then was acting like he was just trying to protect me and our son. So, I thought the devil horns were perfect for him, although I didn’t encourage or tell my son to pick those for him.

When my ex wore the horns, he asked us how he looked and I said, “exactly the same as always”. My son thought it was funny and proceeded to try and explain to me that he was wearing horns and it turned into a game of me pretending I couldn’t see them and him trying to show me where they were. It was clear by his expression that my ex didn’t find it funny at all.

At one point I was in the kitchen getting dessert and my ex followed me to “help”. What he actually did was start a fight over what I said.

AITA?

quote:

I, 23 female, have been friends with my best friend, 24 male, for over ten years. For background information, he and I have never had any romantic attraction or relationship, and we are both married to our respective partners.

When he first got married his wife seemed completely okay with our friendship, that is until she met me. I was nothing but kind to her so I'm not sure why the sudden switch happened. She told him immediately that he could no longer talk to me, so I respected that and stepped away. A few months later he reached out to me and said she was fine with the friendship again, and everything was smooth sailing until a few weeks ago.

Back in January I had decided to purchase him a Switch Lite for his Birthday in September. I knew he had always wanted one but he and his wife don't make a huge income currently and she hates when he spends money on game related things. I texted him about the idea to make sure he and his wife were okay with it and I wasn't crossing any lines or boundaries as that is the last thing I ever want to do. He assured me a hundred times over the coming months that it was alright with him AND his wife. I tried to reach out on different social media platforms to his wife just so she would know I wasn't trying anything malicious, but they were all promptly declined.

September rolls around and I hand him off the gift. It was a brief exchange in a public space, but he barely said so much as a thank you before driving away. That night he texted me saying his wife refuses to talk to him. And after that I didn't hear from him, despite many attempts to reach out. I let it slide figuring he would reach out to me eventually. I experienced some of the worst few weeks of my life recently and could have really used my friend but I didn't want to overstep anything so I just left it alone.

Fast forward to a few days ago, my friend reached out to my husband to ask if I hated him. My husband said no but advised him that he should probably reach out to me with an explanation. He did not do that. Instead he texted my husband a long paragraph stating his wife was extremely upset with me and that I crossed several lines. When my husband pressed that he could have said no to the gift, he tried to say I wouldn't let him say no, which was completely untrue. I come to find out his wife did not actually okay the gift, but he wanted it so he lied to get his way figuring everything would turn out in his favor. Feeling frustrated and used I texted him asking him to return the gift to me, as it had caused so many issues and he was talking like he never wanted in the first place. He thinks I'm being unreasonable and is begging me to let him keep it. His wife has also attempted to reach out to let him keep the switch as well. But I have stood my ground and asked for it to be returned. So am I the rear end in a top hat?

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Israel is something special about non white passing people.

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for being upset about my SO in a drinking game

I think we are missing some words. If the question was "never have I ever had sex with other people while in a relationship" then yeah. But in general?

quote:

I(27M) and my wife(24F) have been married for 3 years. She is 6 months pregnant.

I have been looking for a job with a better pay since my wife said that she wanted to be a SAHM after the birth.

Today, I had this interview for a position at a very good IT company which would be paying triple my current salary.

There were a lot of measures taken to prevent malpractice. I was not allowed to look anywhere but the screen, etc. The test was conducted on an online platform.

I had told her numerous times before the exam about the strict invigilation.

Just 15 minutes after the test started, my wife started knocking on my study door and calling out my name saying she wanted me to open a jar. I ignored her because I would be disqualified from the interview if I looked anywhere else or spoke... I figured she'd get the hint that I couldn't talk. But she didn't she yelled at me calling me an AH and went on to talk to her friends on call. It didn't stop at the calls, she played loud music for her online dance yoga class. It was extremely distracting and I made a lot of mistakes in the exam

It was a multiple choice questions based test so I got the results immediately and as expected I had miserably failed it.

I was livid at my wife. This was the 5th interview that she ruined like this. I told her that I give up on trying to make her life easier and that I'm not ready to go looking for any more jobs since she doesn't even want to maintain silence during important interviews. I told her to start working again after the birth and that I am ok paying for a nanny/babysitter.

She said that in being unreasonable in expecting perfect silence at home.

AITA?

quote:

I knew about her habit which is why I got noise cancelling headphones. However, my wife gave it to her brother who had exams

quote:

My sister is always late. Like 1 or 2 hours late for a 2 person coffee in a shop. Recently, after a bunch of similar incidents that left me freezing in an outdoor train station for 1.5 hours with no messages, and many times having no idea where she was in a coffee place, I shouted at her and told her that this is not acceptable. She refused to acknowledge this and said I should just accept her for how she is and should not try to change her and break her integrity.

After this, a little later, we arranged to meet one day in a bar. Again she was late, but now, after 15 minutes, I went home. 2 hours later she turned up and messaged me with no apology but that she was there. I messaged back "I am in the toilet." I kept this charade going for an hour and even made her buy me a drink. It was fun. AITA for doing this?

Also, AITA if I tell her that I will not arrange to see her again unless you can be mostly in time?

quote:

I (f26) have terrible eyesight (+5 in both eyes), meaning I have to wear glasses at all times unless I want to see the world as a blob. I've wore glasses since I was 7 years old.

On friday, I was walking my dog in a nearby forest trail as I always do and lost my footing causing my glasses to fall and break, I went to buy new ones but the store told me they'd be ready by monday.

Yesterday it was my sister's (f30) wedding, I was attending as a normal guest (we're not that close so i was not a maid of honor or anything) and I wore my sunglasses (with prescription) because they were the only thing I had available.

My sister threw a fit saying I was an attention seeker and was upstaging her and taking all the attention away. Yeah some close family was asking about the sunglasses but they all know i need glasses so when i explained the situation that was the end of it.

I don't see what the big deal is... My sister knows I don't wear contacts because I've always hated them and there's no way I can leave my house without glasses. I took them off for all pictures but she kept saying that people were staring at me instead of her.

She ended up making a big scene during her reception (yelling and cursing at me) and i just left with my husband, since then my mother has been bothering me to apologize to my sister as after her outburst, the party had a weird feeling and was kinda ruined.

So... AITA?

spouse posted:

https://www.reveddit.com/v/Drama/comments/6j14je/utryitidareyou_has_run_its_course_its_been_fun/djas28f/?context=3

The best news I got from searching for this is that it's fake, written by a troll trying to get a rise out of people. It worked, very well crafted story.

quote:

My (23F) parents separated before I was born due to my father's affair. Growing up, I never had much interaction with my father or his new family because my mother had custody of me. My parents did not divorce on good terms, and my father even asked for multiple DNA tests because he thought my mother was conning him for child support. I didn't find out about the circumstances of their separation until I was older, and by then my relationship with my father was already nonexistent.

Still, when I became a teenager I found out that I had siblings and tried to reach out to them. I had thought I was an only child until I was 15. On the rare occasions I was allowed to visit, I was always treated coldly by my stepmother and my father. It was difficult to get closer to my siblings because of how rarely I saw them. I was fine with that as long as it didn't seem like my siblings hated me.

Recently, I met up with my brother (20M) to catch up. While we were talking, he accidentally let slip that my father and step-mother had been telling my siblings that my mother was the one who came between their marriage. They told them that my mother was a jealous ex who kept hounding them when they were happily married. I was out of my mind with anger. I showed my brother all the documents proving my mother had been married to our father and that he had cheated with my step-mother. My brother refused to believe it, shouted at me and left.

I thought that was that and was feeling pretty sorry that I had ruined my relationship with my brother. The next day, I got a call from him and it turned out that he had confronted his parents about it. They admitted the truth and he got in a big fight with them. He came to my place and is now refusing to speak to his parents and says he'll cut ties with them. My sister (21F) is angry that they never told her and won't come back from college to see them. My youngest sibling (18M) is taking his parents' side and says that I've completely ruined their family.

My phone has been blowing up with texts and calls and even my mother wants me to apologize for what I did. They're saying that I stirred trouble for no reason and am bitter about my own circumstances so I'm trying to put my siblings in the same situation. At the time, I was just angry and I thought I was justified, but now I feel like I made my siblings' life more difficult. I don't want them to ruin their relationship with their parents, and it's not like I was forced to tell them about it, I just wanted to clear my mom's name. My brother is clearly very upset and the whole family is up in arms. I think I should've just kept quiet.

AITA for sharing a secret I shouldn't have and ruining my siblings' relationship with their parents?

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

It's honestly criminal that taxes aren't automatically handled for people. No one should have to file a return unless they want to dispute what employers and financial institutions are already reporting to the IRS.

quote:

I’m a housewife, my husband works a 9-5, so I take care of the house all day, laundry, dishes, kids, etc.

I just had a baby so I’m still bleeding and I can’t wear tampons (I can’t wear tampons anyway because I have a tilted cervix) so I wear pads. When I change my pad, I wrap it in toilet paper and usually the wrapper that the other one came in but sometimes just toilet tissue.

My husband always tells me it’s really gross when he goes to the bathroom and can see the bloody tissue that my pad is wrapped in and he doesn’t need to see that.

We got in a fight about it with him telling me it’s disgusting to see the blood and no one needs to know I’m “on my period” which I’m not on my period, I’m bleeding from birthing a baby.

I told him I would start disposing of my pads the way he wants me to when he learns how to wipe better and I don’t have to scrub poo poo stains out of his boxers.

He told me I was out of line and has slept in the guest room the last couple nights.

AITA?

Edit to add: we have a trashcan with a lid but our dog recently broke it trying to get into the trash. I ordered another on Amazon but it hasn’t come yet, and I don’t have a car to go get one myself.

quote:

I'm a newlywed(27f), and I had only two bridesmaids because I kicked one to the curb a few months before the big day.

My friend Tara (name changed, obv) and I have known each other for about 8 years. We have always gotten along because I don't mind playing second fiddle. She's quite friendly, and confident, but also a bit spoiled. Nevertheless, I never let it bother me much.

When my bf proposed, I asked Tara to be my MOH. She was ecstatic and we made plans to for her to fly down to pick out dresses with the other girls.

Red flag, but when Tara arrived to stay with me, she asked what I made for dinner. I said, "you know I don't cook" but she was very unpleasant and put out that I was not hosting her properly.

The next day, we did brunch with my flowergirl (my daughter) and bridesmaids at this cute tea shop. She refused to interact with anyone, even after I paid for everyone's food. She ignored my little daughter's attempts to talk and asked when we could leave.

Our plans were to go to the dress shop, which I reminded her, but she said she didn't feel well. So I said okay, we will send pics.

So the rest of us go and have a nice time, and Tara does not respond to my attempts to pick a dress. Finally, we get home and she is watching a horror movie in the main room, and eating chips. When I come in to share about our day, she shushes me and says "Can't you see I am trying to watch a movie?" Then Tara starts up another movie, turns the volume all the way up and tries to shush everyone.

She continues being so demanding and rude, I have a panic attack the next day, and- annoyed that she was not being hosted properly- Tara left. She said everything made her too "anxious". I actually have an anxiety disorder so I know how that can be, but... come on. Don't try to use that as an excuse to be a jerk to people.

When I got better, I got Tara and told her that since everything stressed her out so much, she should reconsider being my MOH. I want you to come as a guest, but you are relieved of your duties.

She kept asking why... Finally, I said, "If you are causing this much trouble now, I don't want you around me on my wedding day. You are being selfish and spoiled, and if no one has told you yet- it's like being around an entitled child. You need to change that."

She still came to the wedding, glaring daggers and dropping mean comments. After the wedding, she starts calling me every week to tell me how I ruined that experience for her.

Finally, I just snapped and said, "Well I meant it! And you can call as much as you want, but that just shows that I was right! Don't call me again about this."

Haven't heard a peep.So Reddit, AITA?

quote:

Brett is a "casual" friend of mine.

We became friends through other mutual friends and will occasionally grab a beer during lunch, but won't really hang out together unless it's an-involved bigger group activity (like bowling). He's a nice guy, likes good music and The Yankees but isn't weird about it since he knows I don't know poo poo about baseball.

Anyway last year, my SO and I were invited to his wedding and got a Save the Date in the mail. Due to the pandemic, the wedding was postponed and they had to reschedule for this year.

They sent out revised Save The Dates and the wedding falls on a weekend that my SO and I are planning to move. We couldn't do it any other weekend, and since Brett is only a casual friend I figured he wouldn't be heartbroken if we couldn't make it to his big day...especially considering the circumstances. Moving is hella stressful. At some point they mailed us an RSVP, but the house is in such chaos right now I'm almost positive I threw it away by accident.

I figured it was no big deal, I was meeting Brett for lunch anyway (this was last week) and I'd just let him know in-person that we weren't able to make it, but we'd still get him a gift off his wedding registry. I was aiming for the Kitchen Aid toaster.

Brett and I met for a beer and it was a good lunch, we chatted about work and video games, etc. and of course the topic of the wedding came up. He asked me if I got my RSVP and I told him we received it. I explained the situation, said it was unavoidable but we were going to be moving that weekend and wouldn't be able to make it. He seemed only mildly disappointed, but totally understood. But then that's where the problem came up.

He asked me to just mail back in the RSVP with "no" in the box. I asked why, since I was telling him in-person. He was insistent that I send him back a physical copy. I asked if I could just text him a reminder so he could write it down. He said he gets a lot of texts per day. I asked maybe an email reminder? he refused, said he gets a lot of work emails.

Me: “Why do I need to mail back the card? I just told you I’m not coming?”

Brett: “I’ll forget... The cards are the only way for me to keep track.”

Me: “Well, I may have already thrown it out.”

Brett: “What? Why?!”

Me: “I knew we were meeting! And, well, I'm pretty sure it didn’t have pre-paid postage!”

Brett: “Oh, so that’s it, huh? Can’t spare the extra 47¢?”

Me: “It’s 2021! Who even has stamps?! I’d need to find out where a post office is, then do I walk? Take an Uber? And once I’m there, do I buy a single stamp or a full sheet? Maybe one of those rolls? It’s just all too much.”

Brett: “Maybe it’s better that you don’t come.”

Me: “I wasn't coming anyway!”

I offered to write down my RSVP on a napkin for him but the lunch was pretty much over.

I'm still getting him a toaster.

AITA?

quote:

My office is only a couple miles from my house so I usually go home for lunch every day. Since it is so close, I have time to do the dishes, take out the trash, switch the laundry, etc, before I go back to work. I find it's a nice use of my lunch break and helps to free up some time in the evening so I can relax more with my family.

A couple weeks ago my wife had a few of her girlfriends over for drinks. I was in the other room watching tv but I could hear them talking and laughing and I heard my wife make a comment about how she has me trained so well I come home on my lunch break to do the dishes and called me her "dish bitch."

It really rubbed me the wrong way. Even if she was just joking with her friends, it felt really demeaning to me and felt like she was putting me down so that she could feel bigger in front of her friends.

So, I didn't do the dishes or any other chores when I was home at lunch the next day. My wife gets home from work before me every day and instead of coming home to a clean kitchen and empty sink, there are dishes piled up and the trash needs to be taken out, etc.

When I got home my wife was doing the dishes and told me I need to give her a hand because she needs to get dinner started. She asked if I came home for lunch that day and I said I did. She asked why I didn't do the dishes and I told her that her "dish bitch" was on strike. She stopped what she was doing and looked at me with her mouth open.

I told her that yeah, I heard what she said and that I don't appreciate her putting me down to her friends just so that she can feel good about herself. She said she was just joking around and she doesn't really think about me that way.

I told her she would flip her poo poo if she heard me talk about her that way to my friends. She said they were just joking around and it didn't mean she actually thought that. I told her I want to believe her, but I honestly don't think she was just joking. I told her I think I might just start going out to eat at lunch, or take a lunch to the office from now on.

She told me I was being petty and overreacting. I told her I don't think I am. She then asked if I was going to help her with the dishes so she can start dinner and I said "No, I don't think I will." I told her I will play with the kids to keep them distracted since we are having a later dinner that night.

After the kids went to bed she told me I was being an rear end in a top hat about one little joke that she didn't even mean and I was blowing this way out of proportion. I told her she knows how much she'd freak out at me if I said something like that, so I don't think I'm overreacting at all. I told her respect goes both ways and she doesn't get to put me down to her friends to make her feel bigger.

deety posted:

Lol at that boudoir rear end in a top hat for thinking they should have told her separately about anything important in the policies packet. The whole purpose of the packet is so they don't have to write tailored instructions for every session, which would take up enough time that they'd have to charge more.

I'm planning a creative services business right now, and stories like this are exactly why I'm going to require a meeting to go over my process & policies.

My boyfriend has everything else I need... except for a current job, respect for me, and respect for our shared space!

quote:

I 28F used to be quite overweight, over the last year or so I have made many changes in my life and have successfully lost almost 100lbs. I don't live close to any of my family and don't post on social media so my family wasn't really aware of my weight loss. I did mention that I was making healthier choices but that's it. It's just that every time before that I've tried to lose weight it hasn't worked out so I didn't want anyone commenting on it.

My sister 26F got engaged last year and I'm super happy for her. Due to circumstances, the wedding had to be pushed back a little. It's happening a week from now and because I haven't seen everyone in so long I decided to come down two weeks earlier to help out and catch up. Well, when I came to see my family my sister freaked out upon seeing me. As it turns out she has gained a bit of weight not super noticeable to me she still looks great. But I think this is the first time in our lives that I'm smaller than her I've always been the "fat sister". She basically accused me of trying to upstage her and my parents are fully taking her side. I'm really not sure if I'm in the wrong here as so many of my family are taking her side of things.

AITA for losing weight before my sister's wedding?

quote:

My boyfriend and I always dress up together at Halloween. Every year, we switch the person that chooses the theme of the costumes.

This year is my boyfriend's turn, and he never really had Halloween when he was younger : never had super spooky Halloween decorations in his house, neither for Christmas for that matter. I feel like he kinda missed a lot.

He chose plague doctors this year, and even though I believe it is a little innapropriate since many people died due to Covid, including people close to us, we thought it was ok since the Halloween store was selling it. He wanted to dress up as that for as long as I can remember. He just never had the money to buy the costume. I've talked about my boyfriend choice to some people, and they all told me it was super innapropriate and that I should be ashamed.

I see the shame, but we will only be dressed up during a private party with my boyfriend's friends, and to give out some candies to the neighbors we know very well. I don't want to upset anyone, at all, but I was wondering how much of an rear end in a top hat I'd be to support my boyfriend in his first real halloween with the costume he chose.

Thank you all for reading!

The Glumslinger posted:

Honestly, the only problem with the outfit is you'll probably run into atleast a couple other people who had the exact same idea

quote:

This is causing a bit of tension so I need to know if I'm in the wrong.

I (33F) moved into my road about 8 years ago and befriended one of the neighbours about 3 doors down, we'll call her Sue (45F), we're not best friends as such but chat often, and sometimes go for food/drinks together. About 12 months ago, I was telling her how my window cleaner (the third I'd tried since I moved) was unreliable, and she gave me the details for hers, Joe (48M) was also a close friend of hers and had been for many years. I called him up and he's been doing my windows ever since, no problems.

Cut to 3 days ago, I bump into Sue and have a chat, she then tells me she's found a new window cleaner. I asked what had happened with Joe, she then reveals they'd started a no strings attached sexual relationship 6 months ago, and she had since developed feelings for Joe, but when she explained this to him, he said he was sorry but wasn't looking for anymore than they already had and ended things. She even admitted that he'd been polite and respectful about it, she was just understandably a little upset he didn't feel the same.

She then said "Don't worry, I've found a new one so I'll give you their details.", I said for her not to worry, I'd just stick with Joe. She became really upset by this and asked "How can you do this after what's he's done to me?!".

This is where I may be TA, I said that Joe hadn't actually done anything wrong, they'd had an agreement which she tried to change because of her feelings and he respectfully ended things to avoid leading her on. I explained I understood why she's upset and needs to find a new window cleaner, but after finally finding one who is reliable, consistent and relatively cheap for our area, I didn't want to have to change to potentially a more expensive and less reliable one yet again.

Sue then called me a terrible friend, swore at me and left. I still don't think I should have to find a new window cleaner because of her. As I explained, we're not best friends or super close, we're friendly neighbours at best, besides that it's not that I'm choosing Joe's side or am even friends with him, I pay him for a service that he does a good job at.

With her reaction, I'm starting to feel that potentially I am TA for being stubborn in this, when it really doesn't matter who cleans my windows, as long as they do a good job/aren't too expensive.

AITA?

quote:

My parents have always favored my younger brother. I was by no means unloved. But it was blatantly obvious who they cared about more. I worked a part time job to get my first car, but my brother got one as a present. It wasn't new, but was much newer than my car. It was the same with just about anything else, like clothes, video games and cell phones.

I'm 18 and am taking a gap year before community college to work a full time job and save money for tuition. But a while back I heard my parents talking about how much they were going to pay for my brother's tuition. I secretly recorded the conversation from around the corner and then came out asking my parents why they were gonna pay for my brother's college, but not mine. They didn't notice my phone was recording and just said that my brother needs more help. I asked how so when I wasn't getting any sort of scholarship, and he likely wouldn't either. Then I asked a few more questions about why things have always been this way. They got mad and my father told me that perhaps it's time I moved out because they are sick of keeping a roof over my head. I pointed out I pay rent. But they didn't care.

I left the room and in a fit of rage uploaded the video to two different social medias I have and ranted about how this is how my parents have always been. Well a few hours my parents were pounding at my door. My dad was screaming at me about how I made them look bad. We fought some more and they left the room fuming.

My grandparents contacted me later and said they were appalled, then came to visit with a lot of the family the next day. There was a huge family intervention and my parents were made to sit on the couch and look at their feet while being told off. It was then I found out they'd been receiving money for years from my grandparents to help with family expenses. My brother looked like he didn't know what to do. So he sided with the rest of the family and said he's noticed how I'm treated as well. My parents gave me a huge apology that sounded forced.

My grandparents have offered that I come live with them soon and will cut off the monthly payments to my parents, my father told me I should have never told the rest of the family and now won't talk to me, and my mother has been crying for days. So I'm starting to wonder if I went to far.

So AITA for exposing my parents favoritism?

quote:

My daughter Alyssa is 5. Every night my wife and I go through the same routine of reminding her to pick up her toys and tidy up her room before dinner. I came home late, just right before dinner, and my wife is smiling and whispers, "Alyssa has something to show you." My daughter grabs my hand and pulls me to her room and said, "Look!"

I said, "What am I looking at?"

She said, "My room! I cleaned it all by myself and Mommy didn't even have to tell me to!"

I said, "That's it? I thought you were going to show me something important. Sweetie, cleaning your room is what you're supposed to do. Nobody has to tell you to do that. You just do it. And make sure to do this every night. I'm going to take a shower."

I went to go take a shower and while I'm in the shower my wife comes in and says, "Hey, what happened?" I said, "What are you talking about?" She said, "Alyssa is crying and she won't talk to me. Did she show you her room?" I said, "Yeah." She said, "Aaaaand?" I said, "And what? That's what she's supposed to do." Then my wife got all dramatic and said, "Oh my God, please don't tell me you said to her."

And then we got into an argument, while I'm in the shower mind you. All I wanted to do was come home, take a shower, eat dinner, and go to bed. Not deal with all this crap. My wife wanted me to apologize, but I told her I don't see what I have to apologize for.

After I took a shower, I came out to eat and to talk to Alyssa, but my wife (still in her bad mood) said that Alyssa had lost her appetite and then cried herself to sleep. Either my wife is overexaggerating, which she tends to do when she's in a bad mood and wants to make me feel bad, or Alyssa inherited her mother's dramaticness. Then she wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the night or even come to bed.

I don't feel bad because I know I'm right in this case. When did we start congratulating people on doing what they're supposed to do? I'm sorry to even bother you guys with this, but I just need confirmation that I'm not going insane.

Permabanned poster DIPACstomper69 posted:

I think it's the unconscious leaking in to the conscious, what jungian theory considered to be the cause of schizophrenic and schizotypal syptoms.

quote:

My boyfriend (26m) and I (29f) have been together for 4 years. We have been living together for a year and a half. Because I make more than double what he does, we made the agreement that I would pay $1200 in rent, and he would only pay $400. To make up for this he would do all the cooking since I enjoyed his cocking. I do other chores in the house, but he has done all the cooking- he makes breakfast, packs lunch and cooked dinner he never complained about it

However, around 2 months ago he decided to go vegetarian for ethical/environmental/health reasons. He completely changed his cooking and stopped cooking meat entirely. I just find this so annoying since I enjoyed his cooking before, and I miss eating meat. If I ask him to make something he used to make, he'll say "I can make it myself" which is annoying because we had an agreement. I've talked to him about this, but he thinks there's nothing wrong with what he's cooking, and he makes sure it's tastes good.

I'm strongly considering asking him to pay more for his rent since I kinda feel cheated out of the deal we've made, but I'm debating whether this would make me an rear end in a top hat.

Thumbtacks posted:

Did we mess up with our son? He blew up at us during dinner + UPDATE

ORIGINAL by u/worrieddad27

quote:

Husband and I were married at 19, and officially divorced at 45. 5 years ago.

Before the divorce was finalized I was given a lump sum payment, and he was ordered to pay me several thousand dollars a month every month for 26 years.

He wants me to start giving the money back, to please his fiancé. Since she apparently sees it as him, “keeping a connection with his ex”. And money that he should be, “spending on his future instead of his past”. But it’s court ordered so I don’t understand the logic there.

And honestly I don’t really want to. In fact - I already said I wasn’t going too. And that is in part due to the fact that I’d like to give him another ‘F-U’ while I have the chance. Basically it’s just to spite him.

And my sister says that Im wrong for not moving on. Since he’s already paid me enough money in the last 5 years to retire on. Not to mention the initial lump sum.

Edit: divorce was initiated by him after he decided his personal assistant would make a better partner than me.

Thumbtacks posted:

i would put money on his new fiance being his office assistant

Cythereal posted:

I 25f was super into this guy 28m until I found something out that I'm not sure if I can get past. Thoughts?

Zurtilik posted:

That's really the amazing thing is if they could shut up they'd get a lot further in life. But they have to go on a rant anytime they hear "Black Lives Matter" or whatever and then I wanna set them on fire.

1stGear posted:

Most people in relationships should be reminded that they need to take care of their spouse or else (they're going to gently caress another person). But the super aggro way this cop responded probably means he s on his way to join the 40% Club.