- Haifisch
- Nov 13, 2010
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Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!
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Taco Defender
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Less talking more poly cheese bags
(all formatting OP's)
AITA for installing a lock on my bedroom door, and keeping it locked when I'm not there?
quote:My wife has a nasty habit of biting her nails. And she's not super on top of keeping her hands washed.
I like to eat handfuls of shredded cheese as a snack.
My wife will take my bag of cheese out of the fridge and stick her unwashed hand into my cheese, immediately after taking her fingers out of her mouth.
That is loving disgusting IMO. Now the whole bag of cheese is ruined, and my snack is gone.
So I started buying her her own bags of cheese. I clearly labeled each bag with either her name or mine.
FF to the next morning, and she has my bag of cheese. Hers is still sitting in the fridge (opened, and contaminated by her unwashed hands). She didn't bother checking the labels. So now she has two bags of cheese, and I have 0.
Next step: I buy a mini fridge and put it in my bedroom. We have seperate bedrooms, so I figured I was solving the problem.
But NO. 3 days later, I get home from work and she's sitting on my bed, eating my bag of cheese. There was still plenty of cheese in the main fridge. This is not a money issue. I don't care if she eats 100 bags of cheese. I just want my cheese to be my cheese, so I know it hasn't had unwashed hands in it.
So I installed a deadbolt on my bedroom door, and I keep my room locked whenever I am not home. Now my cheese is safe. My wife still has plenty of cheese to eat. She just no longer has access to my loving cheese.
She says it shouldn't matter, since we kiss all the time. But I don't want to eat cheese that has someone else's stale saliva on it. No matter how much I love her, food safety is food safety. She is introducing germs into a fertile breeding ground, and I just can't get over that. I need my cheese to be clean.
So, AITA? quote:I get that it isn't common. But we have our reasons:
1) She snores.
2) I snore.
3) She likes to sleep in a 72 degree room, while I prefer a 66 degree room.
4) She's a blanket hog.
5) We are polyamorous, and sometimes we need our own separate beds for "activities".
6) We keep different schedules. I wake up at midnight and go to sleep at 6pm. She wakes up at noon and goes to sleep at 10pm. I don't want to wake her up coming to bed, and vice versa.
7) We can afford it. Everyone should have their own space if they can afford to, IMO. Everyone deserves to have some place that is theirs and theirs alone.
quote: but you don't let her into yours... seems pretty weird to me, but that's besides the point.
I would have no problem letting her in my room, if she would accept that my cheese is my cheese. There was no lock on this door last week. We've been married for 28 years. This is a new problem.
quote:I dig my hand in the bag too. The difference is that my hands are washed before I do it, and I don't stick my hand in other people's cheese. I'll grab a 16oz bag of cheese and just go to town on it like it's a bag of chips. My kids do it too. But they know not to grab the bag with my name on it. My 9 year old has more respect for boundaries than my wife does. quote:That's the thing. I was raised the same. You never touch food with unwashed hands. And you super never touch someone else's food unless you're sure your hands are sanitary.
My wife was raised in the boonies. I've literally never once seen my MiL wash her hands in the 28 years I've known her. They're a "poo poo with the door open" kind of family. Hella redneck (and I don't mean that as an insult, her mom can build a house from scratch.).
I'm not sure if my mom went too far with her food safety, or if my MiL didn't go far enough. But my gut tells me my way is safer.
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Oct 20, 2021 06:30
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May 14, 2024 12:07
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- Haifisch
- Nov 13, 2010
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Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!
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Taco Defender
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AITA I got a caretaker and nurse for my mom against my wife's wishes
Look: Dementia is a horrible disease and you're often between a rock and a hard place when deciding between lovely nursing homes vs the horrible soul-sucking grind of trying to take care of a loved one in your own home. It's extra horrible reading between the lines here that OP's mom likely has early onset dementia(given his age and the fact that it was a thing before he even got married), meaning they could be dealing with this for decades. But if you make the decision to bring a demented parent into your home indefinitely, you do not bring a baby into that. It's not fair to your kid or your parent.
If having his wife rent a place right next door is unironically an option, him and her should move there so they can get some space from his mom+caretaker team(and so having a new baby in the home doesn't make his mom's dementia worse, or possibly create danger for the baby because granny thinks it's her own baby/granny doesn't remember that babies don't go in the fridge/etc). Of course he's not going to, because his wife and child are obviously just an afterthought to him, and he's going to be really mystified that his kid will resent growing up in this situation. (assuming his wife doesn't divorce him first)
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Oct 22, 2021 05:20
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Oct 20, 2021 06:30
