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Ebony was the one to try to heal Saph and failed, so I don't think Saph has a good chance of success here. But she got lucky once, so roll them dice again and try to heal.
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Nov 9, 2021 18:47
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At least Ebony isn't the one offering. Maybe Saph will be good at offering to heal? Man, I forgot how good They Can't Be Stopped is. You usually don't listen to it much, because if you can hear it, you're either about to leave or about to die.
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Nov 9, 2021 19:23
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MarquiseMindfang posted:Ebony was the one to try to heal Saph and failed, so I don't think Saph has a good chance of success here. But she got lucky once, so roll them dice again and try to heal. Ebony specifically failed due to lack of supplies, though not being able to work with 2 Meds definitely shows he's not that good at it to start with. MetaMeme posted:...We don't actually know either of their medicine skills, do we. Nope! For anyone wondering, in general skills will typically get revealed on attempting an action that uses that skill in some way. Also any event where the character talks about his or herself is a chance to be informed. Otherwise, you just have to make guesses based on the character trait/perk and their performance. girl dick energy posted:Man, I forgot how good They Can't Be Stopped is. You usually don't listen to it much, because if you can hear it, you're either about to leave or about to die. This game's got a lot of good jams, and They Can't Be Stopped remains of my favorites. On one hand it sucks you don't get to hear it much in practice, but on the other hand, it gets a hell of a lot more weight this way. Nothing like hearing this as you frantically search for more supplies, as you've got nothing in the car and knowing that if you leave now, you're just going to get wiped by an event or meltdown.
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Nov 9, 2021 20:15
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Odd Wilson posted:For anyone wondering, in general skills will typically get revealed on attempting an action that uses that skill in some way. Also any event where the character talks about his or herself is a chance to be informed. Oh, now this will be fun with Mysterious Past, won't it? If Ebony hypothetically shows up in another run, he might not be Charming, so you can't really put two and two together there until an event gives you a choice that his type gets, right? Either way, uh... Pretty sure neither of them would be good at healing wounds anyway. I mean, Ebony fights and Saph is Saph. You just gotta hope Saph is better at healing wounds than Ebony is, especially with the supplies we have.
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Nov 9, 2021 20:22
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Fight
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Nov 9, 2021 21:58
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This game rules. I don’t need to click on any of the music links, every one of these songs is burned into my brain. Let’s throw Tigerlily Jones on the list. Inventive Gungineer, maybe?
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Nov 9, 2021 22:08
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Offer to heal injuries. I have my reservations, but it can't hurt to try. Blaze is perfect now!
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Nov 9, 2021 22:14
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UPDATE 4: Furious Road * Tunes: One More Road * Saph shall attempt the medicinal arts!  *Cracking noise*  --------------------------------- RESULT Saph offers to heal the injured bandit with her medical know-how. She ends up making things worse! The bandits aren't very happy. Ebony and Saph are HURT! Saph's Medical revealed:  Saph's Medical increases:  ---------------------------------  SAPH: JEEZ, YOU DINGUSES! IT WAS GOING WELL!   EBONY: You broke that bandit's arm. SAPH: It was already broke when we started. EBONY: I'm pretty sure it wasn't. SAPH: Not my fault she's too weak for extreme yoga!  SAPH: Ughh... this hurts. Stop driving so fast! EBONY: You just told me to go faster! SAPH: Well, stop hitting the potholes you dink! EBONY: It's the Carolinas. These roads sucked before the apocalypse. They're even worse now. SAPH: Hmph, whatever... EBONY: ...We've definitely gotta find more people. Can't keep getting outnumbered like happened back there. Major WonkaS, no EzSnaps. SAPH: You trying to replace me already?! I may be down right now, but these glutes of steel will be back in action before you know it! SAPH: And you don't- ugh- know nothin'! gimme a sec just gonna lie down  --------------------------------- Trading on the Death Road Outside of Canada, most of society and civilization has been destroyed. You can still find people engaging in trade, with preserved food being the new currency. You have 8 food left. The group runs into a trading camp! 1. Visit Trader Camp 2. Ignore Trader Camp --------------------------------- Our first trader camp! There's absolutely no reason to skip one unless you're speedrunning or something. Given my current setup I can't pause playing the game in the middle of a map to make decisions, but I'm working on that.  * Tunes: Horsemann Shuffle * EBONY: You know, after last time, I'm kinda surprised they're not already charging us down. SAPH: I think these are just normal people. EBONY: I guess so. WogChamp? SAPH: Ughhh...  --------------------------------- Axe Merchant The group meets a strange and menacing figure. He or she is wearing a mask and a robe. I sell axes... Just axes... 1. Leave it be 2. Fire Axe for 6 food 3. Hatchet for 3 food --------------------------------- SAPH: No, I was definitely wrong  EBONY: Oh, hey, this one's a limited edition Castlemania throwing axe!  AXE SELLER: It could be yours... the kind of axe to die for... SAPH: nope nope no no no nope  --------------------------------- The Last Anime Sale This man is selling anime and anime accessories from a converted food truck. I AM DOING MY PART TO KEEP CIVILIZATION TOGETHER, ONE ANIME SALE AT A TIME! 1. Buy NO anime 2. 4 Katanas for 5 food 3. 5 Shuriken for 1 food --------------------------------- SAPH: oh GOD even more nope nope  ANIME SALESMAN: Now you listen to me, miss. I work for a livin', and I mean real work, not running in place and pointlessly lifting heavy objects! SAPH: get me out ANIME SALESMAN: I provide the people of this community with anime and anime accessories. I do my part from a refurbished food truck because what I have is food for the SOUL! EBONY: I- SAPH: get me OOOOUT!   CIVILIAN: Is the Death Road really as the name implies? SAPH: the nerd energy is biting at my veins EBONY: Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only sane person on it.  EBONY: Oh, hey, who are you, random guy near our car?  --------------------------------- Familiar Face Max is hanging around the camp. He has been waiting for you to show up! TRAIT: Warrior PERK: Car Nut 1. Leave Max for now 2. Recruit Max! ---------------------------------  MAX: My name is Max. My world is on fire. And bloody. EBONY: Neat. I kinda feel I know you from somewhere, though. SAPH: Weird. I've been thinking the same about you. Anyways, can we go now and leave crazytown? MAX: I am he who runs from both the living and the dead. Hunted by scavengers, haunted by those I could not protect. So I exist- SAPH: Dude. Hey, guy, I realized I still don't know the name of- let's just get out of here before more weirdos jump us. MAX: Aw, c'mon, I practiced that for ages EBONY: Hey, you want to join up? SAPH: WHAT?! MAX: Yeah, that'd be cool.  --------------------------------- THE PLOT THICKENS Max is glad to be back! Max joins the team! Onward to Canada! --------------------------------- SAPH: I can't believe you're just letting this random guy join w-  --------------------------------- Sweet Ride Max said that he had his own car stashed nearby, and that it's a 'pretty sweet ride' Would you like to switch to Max's car? 1. Keep current car 2. Switch to new car --------------------------------- SAPH: wwwwwwWelcome to the team! Heck yeah, we're using that one! EBONY: What?! Hey, we can't just leave my mom's car here! SAPH: Two to one, over-RULED! Man, bringing more people along was a great idea! EBONY: FeelsBadLad, big time.  * Tunes: Rigor Mortis Rag * Max, being a Car Nut will always bring along a classic car with him. This is the best outcome, a Muscle Car. At the cost of consuming 12 gas per tick instead of 10, it drives at a much higher speed and is very easy to repair. EBONY: Actually, this car is pretty CatBAM, not gonna lie. SAPH: Told you! Also the car freshener totally explains why you don't smell like garbage. MAX: Er, thanks, I guess. So, uh, who are you two? EBONY: Name's Ebony. You might know me as EbonyBlade if you frequented Twinge.tv. SAPH: So THAT's your name? MAX: You... didn't know? EBONY: She never asked. Oh, and she's Saph, by the way. SAPH: How did you know my name?! I swear, have we met before? I keep thinking we have. EBONY: No, pretty sure we haven't. That's pretty WeirdStamp. EBONY: I just noticed that it's on your shoes. And your bag... And your sweat bands. SAPH: Oh, right. All in all, that trader camp was kind of a bust, outside of Max, but that's mostly because we don't really have that much food. Merchants will never offer you anything you can't afford. The axe merchant is always good to see as they're a good supply of good damage, indestructible weapons. The Fire Axe in particular has great damage and a swing range wide enough to hit multiple zombies... if you've got the stats to wield it without wearing yourself out. The anime salesman has their uses, but their low value items aren't too good. The katanas can be useful in a pinch, but these are obviously mall katanas and lack durability. Unless you direly need to outfit an entire team, you'd be better off buying a hatchet. There was also a shotgun salesman there I skipped over, but their cheapest offering was a normal shotgun for 7 food. Can't really afford that right now, and we'll hopefully find one of our own later.  --------------------------------- Dog Recruitment There is a dog wandering nearby. It's keeping it's distance, but watching the group with guarded interest. It's become rare to see a dog that trusts people. You have 8 food left. 1. Recruit dog - 2 food 2. Leave the dog --------------------------------- It seems to be a black Schnauzer, I think. Still, I'm going ahead and saying yes to this. I've got a reason for it. MAX: Ah, a wild hound. Seems as if it survives this world of fire and blood as well as we do. EBONY: Yeah, but I'd kinda feel bad if we left it here. SAPH: ...Wait a sec, I know that dog!  --------------------------------- Choose UR Fate The group lures Eason over with food. He knows a good source of meals when he sees it, and decides to stick around. Lose 2 food! Eason joins the team! Onward to Canada! --------------------------------- SAPH: Yeah, Eason. Definitely Cecelia's dog. MAX: Friend of yours? SAPH: You kidding? She was a total dink. I'm just doing this to spite her. EBONY: Suddenly I'm feeling more bad that we didn't leave the dog.  EASON: *Pants*  --------------------------------- Stuck in a Ditch The car gets stuck in a ditch near a crappy dirt road. The group is close to getting the car out when a roaming horde draws near. Now they must distract the zombies from getting too close. SIEGE ALERT! THERE'S NO ESCAPE! HORDE SIZE: Large CURRENT TIME: Near Noon SIEGE LENGTH: 0.7 Hours Try to Survive --------------------------------- Our first siege! This is why I picked up Max and the dog. These are events where we're shunted onto maps with a terrible amount of moving space, and hordes of zombies pour in... And we have to survive for an amount of time before we can leave, or get crushed against the borders of the map by the undead hordes while trying. These also happen at regularly scheduled intervals to both keep you on your toes. If you've played the game a lot, you can kinda guess when you're about to get one. This one in particular is a killer on higher difficulties, but we should be okay. Let's look at our new teammates.  Max has a strength and fitness level of 2, A.K.A. , from Warrior, so he should make for a decent fighter. He may or may not have starred in a movie a few years back, but the fact that he doesn't smell bad probably won't do anything for us.His equipment right now is just an umbrella, despite what the screenshot might show.  Eason is a dog. Instead of even having a trait or perk, he just gets CLUMSY DOG, and only a max health of 2. Still, dogs are very useful. They move fast, they have high fitness, they can bark to draw attention, and there's a number of animal specific events in the game. They also only eat 1 food per tick. I grabbed him specifically because I knew this siege was coming, and I wanted to make sure we could keep the zombies away from Saph. His extra claws and bites will help thin the hordes out.  I also set my control to Saph, as she's a hit away from death right now. Better for me to watch over her rather than give her to the whims of the AI.  * Tunes: Half-A-Brain Boogie * SAPH: Remind me what the plan is again?! MAX: We draw them away from the car. We can unstick it, but we need more time. EBONY: Pulling their aggro over here, got it! Man, was not expecting rhapsody events to be a real thing!  SAPH: Taste re-bar, zombie nerds!  EBONY: Whoa, not good! MAX: I will fight tooth and nail if need be! SAPH: Ah, it's a... car rod thingy! Clear a path to that! EBONY: It's called a tire iron, but good plan!  SAPH: Seriously though, why an umbrella? MAX: ...The sun gets hot in the wasteland.  EBONY: This wave's thinning out, but we've got more coming! SAPH: How many people lived in this podunk town?! EASON: GRR!  EBONY: Hey, fall back for a second! Catch your breath and regen your stamina! SAPH: Nah, I'm gonna make them catch bullets instead!   --------------------------------- PHEW! The siege is over! You can now try to escape! --------------------------------- MAX: It's clear! Go, go, go! EBONY: Roger! EASON: BARK! SAPH: Thanks for the workout, neeeerds!  --------------------------------- MISSION SUMMARY Pistol Ammo: 18 29 zombies destroyed. --------------------------------- And that's our first siege! This place would have been a nightmare on higher difficulties, but the zombie count was thin enough to make it not that bad. Saph switching to the pistol when tired is a good general strategy for anyone. When low on stamina, you can barely swing your weapon, let alone do anything useful with it, but guns are unaffected. Melee until low stamina, then pull out a gun for a bit- that's all there is to it. It's not always the best option, particularly if you're low on ammo, but it'll serve you decently at least.  * Tunes: Every Step of the Way * EASON: BARK! BARK! SAPH: You said it! That was actually pretty cool! EBONY: I'm just glad we're alive. MAX: Fighting to live, it is what we do.  --------------------------------- Glimmer of Hope on the Death Road The group feels inspired after managing to survive that situation! They feel like they are getting the hang of this... Choose a reward for the group: 1. Morale and random skill gain 2. Shooting 3. Fitness 4. Max- +1 Max HP --------------------------------- After surviving a regularly scheduled siege, you also get to level up your characters. If I remember right, this should reveal affected stats as normal. We don't really need the morale right now, being capped out on it, but the random skills could luck into hitting the right spots. Shooting is alright. We've only got one gun, but who's to say what we'll find? Fitness is always good to have. Max HP: Having a tankier character is always nice too, but it does kinda cheat the others out of potential stat gains. Well, thread, how shall we improve?
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Nov 10, 2021 05:47
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megane posted:This game rules. I don’t need to click on any of the music links, every one of these songs is burned into my brain.  How's this look?
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Nov 10, 2021 05:54
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RNJesus bless this thread. Delicious random stat GAINZ. dogdogdogdogDOGDOG Odd Wilson posted:
I almost asked a bit ago what his hypothetical 'Twinge' username was. I love it. Hope Saph stays alive - and I also had drawn fitness bands on my Saph, so we accidentally envisioned the same person. insanitylock fucked around with this message at 07:52 on Nov 10, 2021 |
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Nov 10, 2021 05:58
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dogdogdogdogdogdogdogdogdogdog Sorry, I have more experience with dogs than humans at this point in this game. So, I vote for more fitness.
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Nov 10, 2021 05:59
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If it aint broke, heal it til it is. Fitness sounds like a great stat in this game, so lets go with that.
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Nov 10, 2021 06:19
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Fitness sounds like a pretty good pick. Also for a character, how about Sir Bottomsworth, the Male Civilized Explorer.
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Nov 10, 2021 06:27
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Fitness. It's never really a dud pick. And I hate random skill rolls.
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Nov 10, 2021 06:28
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Odd Wilson posted:
Hah, nice. Let's go for fitness. Yoga saves lives.
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Nov 10, 2021 06:29
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Dang, can't believe my blind guessing didn't work out. Time to change nothing about my voting habits RNG save our souls The morale sounds nice, mostly because we just added 1.5(do dogs eat less?) mouths to feed and I think we're like, a solid half day away from mutiny and violence
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Nov 10, 2021 07:16
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MetaMeme posted:Dang, can't believe my blind guessing didn't work out. Time to change nothing about my voting habits RNG save our souls Dogs do eat less! That's one of their advantages in my opinion. EDIT: (Also, what's it like being one of the funniest people ever?)
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Nov 10, 2021 07:49
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Fitness Also a new character suggestion: Bob, Friend of Dogs, Practical. Looks like a hobo, but not a vagrant. Looking like a bindlestiff is right out.
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Nov 10, 2021 08:45
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Love this game. Eason could use a morale boost, but Fitness is too useful to pass up. Character submission Royston the Civilised Fighter, randomise appearance.
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Nov 10, 2021 12:09
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I remember a goon made this, and they promised to never lower the price on mobile below $8 and only go higher. I appreciate it. 
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Nov 10, 2021 16:21
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Fitness road to Canada
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Nov 10, 2021 16:29
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MetaMeme posted:The morale sounds nice, mostly because we just added 1.5(do dogs eat less?) mouths to feed and I think we're like, a solid half day away from mutiny and violence Yeah, we're probably going to hit a rationing day if we don't immediately run into a scavenging event. That won't kill our morale, but starvation will. Only our dog's morale is below max though, so he'll probably jump ship first if it comes to that. PinkDawn posted:Dogs do eat less! That's one of their advantages in my opinion. Indeed! I might have forgotten to include that in the update. Dogs have a lot of advantages in this game really, and they're spectacular when you know how to work past their weaknesses. Nyaa posted:I remember a goon made this, and they promised to never lower the price on mobile below $8 and only go higher. Had no idea a goon made this! Inadequately posted:Also for a character, how about Sir Bottomsworth, the Male Civilized Explorer. habituallyred posted:Also a new character suggestion: Bob, Friend of Dogs, Practical. Looks like a hobo, but not a vagrant. Looking like a bindlestiff is right out. Black Robe posted:Character submission Royston the Civilised Fighter, randomise appearance. I'll get them added! Update will be out in a few hours, had to spend some time doing some extra proofreading on my other LP's update. Left 4 Bread fucked around with this message at 16:55 on Nov 10, 2021 |
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Nov 10, 2021 16:52
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Update 5: Sweat Band Menace * Tunes: Green on Green * The thread has opted for Fitness Road to Canada!  --------------------------------- RESULT Running from zombies all day is a great form of excercise. Ebony's fitness is revealed and increases to Saph's fitness increases to  Max's fitness increases to  Eason's fitness revealed ZOMBO POINT EARNED! Use ZP to unlock traits, perks, and more! --------------------------------- Being a dog, Eason's stats won't increase through glimmer events. Even though it says he has minimum fitness, the weight of his claw weapon is so low that it's basically not a problem. SAPH: All these zombies have really got me feeling the burn! EBONY: It does feel like it's getting easier. MAX: Indeed. EASON: *Blinks*  --------------------------------- Night Siphon The group sets up camp late. On the nearby highway is a bunch of abandoned cars. They're broken, but many should have a little bit of gas. Would you like to send someone to siphon out the gas? 1-3: Pick character 4: Wait until morning --------------------------------- SAPH: We need more gas and someone's got to do it. EBONY: I'd, er, rather not. MAX: Preferably not me either. SAPH: You're all a bunch of babies! I'll do it myself!  --------------------------------- Gassy Night Saph siphons the gas, but accidentally swallows a bit and gets really, really sick that night instead of sleeping. Got 44 gas! Saph's morale decreases to The group is low on food and eats less. Ebony's morale decreases to slightly less  Saph's morale decreases to Max's morale decreases to slightly less Eason's morale decreases to almost --------------------------------- Even though dogs only eat 1 food, rationing days make them sad. Still, I'd rather have to ration than die to a zombie horde. I opted to send Saph because I could just leave her out of the next mission.  Saph is TIRED ------------------------------------ Because of this. The tired debuff is brutal. It absolutely tanks your physical stats until the next time you sleep. Only characters with the highest of stats can get away with being barely passable in combat while tired. SAPH: Ughhhh...why does gas taste so bad EBONY: You know, this was going better until a few days ago. MAX: These roads are swarming with danger, you could say they're furious, even. SAPH: UGHHHHHHH EASON: *BARK!*  --------------------------------- They're all wearing sweat bands Bandits appear, all wearing sweatbands and all super buff, even their dog. They demand protein powder! They will also accept all your extra gas, and half of your ammo and medical supplies! 1. Give into harsh bandit demands 2. Ebony or Max challenges them to a pose-off 3. Refuse and fight! --------------------------------- The RNG is not with us. Seriously. Unless we get incredibly lucky soon, it looks like very soon I'll be giving a showing of the game in desperation mode. SAPH: Duuude, why these dinguses of all people!? I need my protein powder! AND WE'RE ALREADY OUT! EBONY: Actually, they already know that. They want basically everything else, especially the gas. SAPH: That's MY gas! Uggh...and trust me, they don't want it, it tastes like hot garbage... MAX: What's the plan? This isn't looking good. SAPH: You could challenge them to a pose-off. Rule of Swole and all that, but fat chance of either of you winning it. EBONY: You sure? I watched you exercise, like... once? SAPH: AhahahHAHAHA- ulp! SAPH: ...Haha. don't make me laugh the nausea's not gone yet Short update again, but well, the game's decided to throw this rather big choice at us here. To put their mechanical implications in view: -------------------------------------------------- Option 1 is the safe way out but almost for sure lose our car and probably enter a downwards morale spiral unless we get really lucky fast. Option 2 is chancing a very risky Strength roll. Option 3 is getting beat up in service of not losing our gas and thus, our car, probably losing a character in the process. Well, thread? Left 4 Bread fucked around with this message at 18:15 on Nov 10, 2021 |
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Nov 10, 2021 18:13
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See the problem of rations sorts itself out if we fight and lose 2 people, that's two birds blown up with one stone! I see no problem with this.
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Nov 10, 2021 18:34
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Uhhh that's extremely not lucky. I think options 1 and 2 are both an almost guaranteed TPK. I know it's possible to survive losing the car, sometimes, but I've never banked on it. So, uh, Fight. Sorry Saph.
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Nov 10, 2021 19:15
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I have to agree with MetaMeme. We may lose Saph on the road to Canada, but luckily there are many other Saph clones for later. Fight them!
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Nov 10, 2021 19:16
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Option 3. Go out swinging, brave fellows.
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Nov 10, 2021 19:17
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Pose! Surely they'll see this group is at least trying to be swole.
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Nov 10, 2021 19:44
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Fight them. A valuable lesson I have learned in this game is... "If they die, they die." Fun fact about the Gassy Night event that was explained to me by a friend. Apparently, to get a tube to siphon gasoline, you have to manually start the suction force, meaning you have to suck on the tube, which means you can accidentally swallow gasoline.
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Nov 10, 2021 19:48
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PinkDawn posted:Fun fact about the Gassy Night event that was explained to me by a friend. Apparently, to get a tube to siphon gasoline, you have to manually start the suction force, meaning you have to suck on the tube, which means you can accidentally swallow gasoline. SAPH: ughhh stupid science Edit: Looks like the thread is leaning towards fighting it out, but I'll leave this open for another few hours just in case.
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Nov 10, 2021 19:59
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Fight. Seems like the best of a bad set of options.
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Nov 10, 2021 21:13
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TooMuchAbstraction posted:Fight. Seems like the best of a bad set of options. This Preemptive  for Saph
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Nov 10, 2021 21:32
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Sorry, Saph. You're rad, but we do as needs must. FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
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Nov 10, 2021 21:38
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Fight it is! Already recorded the next update, and it's... something. More eventful than I thought it'd be, so it's gonna take me a little while to get it made. It did not want to give me a good stopping point. Trying to balance when I give the thread a choice is a bit challenging at times, as the game will just throw high priority events back to back sometimes. Left 4 Bread fucked around with this message at 22:05 on Nov 10, 2021 |
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Nov 10, 2021 22:00
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Odd Wilson posted:Fight it is! That's DRTC for you. And most games of this nature... nothing for ages, then a ton of stuff back to back, is what I usually find.
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Nov 11, 2021 00:27
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UPDATE 6: Things Go Badly --------------------------------- - CONTINUE GAME - THE HORROR CONTINUES... 1. YIKES --------------------------------- This load confirmation screen is great. * Tunes: Zombonita Beach * The thread has decided that we go out fighting!  *Snapping noise*  --------------------------------- RESULT The group knows that every single one of their supplies are essentiall for their chances of reaching Canada. So they fight. Ebony is HURT! Max is HURT! Eason is HURT! Saph is KILLED! --------------------------------- EBONY: Saph! Saph?! SAAAAAAPH! SAPH: S-shut up, you dink... SAPH: *cough* Make sure they... remember me as I lived... EBONY: With glutes of steel? SAPH: Haha... yeah... SAPH: I... remember who you are now... sorry for the ultimate wedgie I gave you... in... 7th grade... EBONY: It's alright, I forgive you! SAPH: Give 'em... heck... SAPH: blegh. And thus we've lost our first character! Being on the road with 1 HP is a death sentence half the time, but her sacrifice was necessary for us to not get stranded without our car.  MAX: ...In this bloody future, we fight on for those we couldn't protect. EBONY: For a girl who randomly jumped into my car 4 days ago, I was kinda starting to like her. MAX: Even though she gave you an ultimate wedgie? EBONY: Huh? Oh, no, she was absolutely mistaking me for someone else. I was homeschooled. EBONY: Didn't feel right to tell her that at the moment, though. MAX: ...Hm. EASON: *Sneezes*  --------------------------------- Always Be Looting While driving on the Death Road, the group decides to make a stop for supplies: 1.Gym Apartment 2.Hermit's Cabin 3. Drive Around More - 30 gas --------------------------------- Now that we've surpassed the first siege, we also get to see our first ABL, or Always Be Looting. These will be the primary source of missions from here on out, and they take the form of offering you a few options and a choice to pay gas to reroll. The Explorer perk automatically gives another choice here, and it's upgrades make it cheaper to reroll as well as increasing the chance of rare locations. The prudent choice here would be to pick the Gym Apartment, but if the game's gonna try to kick me with bad RNG, I'm going to kick back.  --------------------------------- Neighborly Visit While trying to drive away from a big horde, the group takes a detour through the deep woods. After taking a wrong turn, they spot a cabin. There's smoke coming from the chimney! SIEGE ALERT! THERE'S NO ESCAPE! HORDE SIZE: Massive!! CURRENT TIME: Noon SIEGE LENGTH: 1 HOUR 1. Check it out --------------------------------- * Tunes: Half-A-Brain Boogie * EBONY: Agh! Major misplay, not a WogChamp moment! MAX: That house! We'll hold out there! EBONY: Better plan than I've got!  EBONY: HOLY HECKARONI! MAX: We stand and fight! EBONY: No, run and fight! Start strafing! EASON: BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK!  The gym might have had food and a chance to improve our stats, and while it may seem crazy to head right back into another siege especially with two of our characters a hit away from death... uh... Actually, I can't really explain this other than I just kinda wanted to. This siege pits us with zombies approaching from all sides in a somewhat small square map, with a portion of it taken up by a cabin in the upper left. Unfortunately, it intersects with the right wall of the map, meaning we can't use it as a barrier to chokepoint zombies with. Strafing is all about trying to lure zombies away from the edges of the available movement area. This way, you can slip around them when they're almost about to trap you against the edge of the arena. Without extreme firepower or some godly stats, it's your best chance of surviving. ---------------  EBONY: This is way more than last time! MAX: Hey! Person inside the cabin! *Shotgun blast*  HERMIT: *Pokes head out window* YOU BROUGHT ALL THESE ZOMBIES, DIDN'T YOU? HERMIT: GET AWAY FROM MY HOUSE!  EBONY: God, oh god oh HECK EBONY: Into the house! MAX: No! Don't box yourself in! Staying moving is all that's keeping us alive! We could go inside the building, but we absolutely don't want to. This isn't Also, being inside buildings is just terrible for another reason: groups of zombies will fall from the roof at random intervals. It's why sieges forced to be indoors are the most lethal in the game. There's usually nowhere to run and absolutely nowhere to hide.  This here is strafing in action. I let the zombies get really close with my back against the wall of the cabin to focus them all upwards. In doing this, I can herd them a bit more to the upper right, then cut a circle all the way around them with plenty of space to spare on the lower screen.  I stayed to the upper right a little too long though, and they almost got us against the bottom edge of the screen.  EBONY: Crap! They're still coming!  EASON: BARK! BARK BARK! GrrrRRrr! EBONY: Eason! No!  EASON: *Pant pant* MAX: That was too close! Eason's AI started lagging behind a bit, (as it tends to do,) and got caught between that left reinforcement and the main horde. But given the very high base Dexterity and the stamina he had left over, he was able to slip out of there where the large majority of human characters would have become salsa.  At 1:00 PM, the horde stops coming and we can finally bail. But I didn't just do this to leave without anything. In order to gain anything from this event, I have to clear out every zombie.    So, 2 hours 25 in-game minutes later, I finally kill all of them. EBONY: Gruesome. MAX: I've seen worse. EASON: *chews on bone*  The inside of the cabin is blocked up a bit by some furniture, but there does happen to be a person of interest here.  --------------------------------- The Angriest Hermit The hermit is slightly less infuriated now, but not by much. Well? What is it? I've got a lot of important hermit stuff to do! 1. Ask for hermit wisdom 2. Ask him to join you 3. Tell Hermit to 'Cool it' --------------------------------- HERMIT: Kids these days! This is why I retreated to the woods! EBONY: Um, sorry about this whole- HERMIT: SORRY?! You ruined mah LAWN! EBONY: But uh... how about 'that walloping we gave them zombies?' HERMIT: If yer lookin' fer a reward, stick yer head up your bum! You brought 'em here and I'm all out of food! EBONY: Oh, that, uh, sucks. What are you gonna do now? HERMIT: What am I gonna do?!  --------------------------------- RESULT The hermit is swayed by Ebony's charms! Well, I'm a hermit, but you know what? You're alright! --------------------------------- HERMIT: I'm gonna follow you's around. Hehee, I ain't seen fightin' like that in years! EBONY: ...Welcome to the team, I guess? MAX:   --------------------------------- Choose UR Fate The group accepts Hermit to the team! Onward to Canada! ---------------------------------  --------------------------------- MISSION SUMMARY 104 zombies destroyed. ---------------------------------  * Tunes: Nobody Cooled It * HERMIT: Hey, sonny! Yer car's puttin' out fumes! MAX: Dang! Oh, that's not good. EBONY: You can fix it right? MAX: Y-yeah. Probably. HERMIT: Probably?! Kids these days! Don't know how to do a dern thing! EBONY: Can you fix it? HERMIT: Heeeck no! BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT! EBONY: From one ball of anger to another...  --------------------------------- Trading on the Death Road The group continues making progress along the Death Road. As long as one person remains alive, the dream of Canada lives on. You have 2 food left. Unexpectedly, the group finds someone they can trade with: 1. Visit Trader Camp 2. Ignore Trader Camp ---------------------------------  Hermit was surprised that he even joined the team, being a hermit and all. No stats revealed but Morale, which is at --------------------------------- Hermit log day 3347 HERMIT: Joined up with a buncha youngins. Had an old Hevy Stampede 1969 with 'em HERMIT: Prob'ly gunna break down soon  HERMIT: Took a stop at some new age hippie flea market   HERMIT: One half the folks are talkin' hippie talk, talking about "takin' it a daytime". HERMIT: Other's making crazy talk about crawlin' inside gas tanks   --------------------------------- Firearms Coach This rifle-wielding woman claims she used to train others in competitive shooting. She is selling tips for keeping your aim steady and multiple target trick shots. Zombies are slow moving targets. It's real easy! This isn't enough food to buy training. 1. Leave for now 2. Ebony uses charm 3. Hermit - SAY IT DON'T SPRAY IT --------------------------------- HERMIT: Some young gal was teachin' how to shoot guns, good fer her, they don't teach kids that anymore these days HERMIT: Told 'er that and she just looked at me strange like HERMIT: Kinda reminds me of my granddaughter, ain't seen 'er in years  --------------------------------- Medical Attention The group finds a woman surrounded by medical equipment. She claims to be a skilled doctor! She offers to provide health care in exchange for food. You have 2 food left. There's not enough to afford treatment. 1. Leave for now 2. Ebony uses charm 3. Hermit robs the doctor --------------------------------- HERMIT: Some weird gal with a gas mask claimin' she's a doctor HERMIT: Was gunna swipe some of those meds I saw, but then the weird kid with a limp said somethin to her.  --------------------------------- RESULT Ebony convinces the doctor to offer her services for free! He's just that charming. Ebony gets treatment for his wounds. --------------------------------- HERMIT: Kid don't look like much, but he's a smooth talker, ah'kin see it now HERMIT: The doc just patched 'im up fer dirt nothin'.  --------------------------------- Fitness Instructor This woman is decked out in sweat bands, limb warmers, and garish exercise clothes. Only the fittest will survive in this zombie filled world! I can help you get fit, fast! She's been continuously running in place this whole time. You have 2 food left. Sadly, this isn't enough food for fitness. 1. Leave for now 2. Hermit- SAY IT DON'T SPRAY IT --------------------------------- HERMIT: Weird kid said somethin' about a "saff" and the young man said somethin' really uninterestin' as usual HERMIT: Thought i'd try sum of that newfangled youngin' speak  --------------------------------- RESULT Hermit quips SAY IT DON'T SPRAY IT to the fitness instructor. Her reaction is mostly disappointment. Yeah, well, have fun getting eaten by zombies. She jogs backwards until she's out of sight. The group is so embarassed by this that they are forced to leave the camp. Hermit's fitness revealed -> --------------------------------- HERMIT: weird kid just slaps his face at this, says some more made-up stuff HERMIT: I tell 'im to grow up an be a man  --------------------------------- Familiar Face The Medic is hanging around the camp. He has been waiting for you to show up! TRAIT: Civilized PERK: Surgeon 1. Leave The Medic for now 2. Recruit The Medic! --------------------------------- HERMIT: Sum German weirdo lookin' at my car HERMIT: Tell 'im that it ain't a Bolkswagon, but he don't understand  So, hermit talk aside, that's yet another trader camp we couldn't do much at because we were too broke. Some merchants will give you free stuff if you're completely broke, but those are all trainers/medics so they won't do it. The Medic (from Group Fortress 2) was there, but I opted to not take him for the specific reason that our morale is about to start taking hits from having pretty much no food. I had given him Civilized, which makes him far more vulnerable to morale loss, and he'd be more likely to tantrum than Hermit or Eason at this point.  --------------------------------- Grocery Trust Exercise The group sets up camp outside a grocery store. They notice another group has been following them and will probably attempt to loot the place. Send one person to loot? 1-3. Send a person to go loot 4. Let them have it, avoid trouble --------------------------------- In hindsight, this would have been a good stopping point, but oh well. I kinda just jumped on what I thought was the right answer here... EBONY: Oh, sure. I'll go look. Alert me if any horde starts coming or something. HERMIT: You better come back with sumthin'! Get it before dem other delinquents do!  --------------------------------- RESULT The others stand guard outside for the looters as Ebony searches the grocery store. Ebony says there wasn't any food in there. Hermit's morale decreases to Max's morale decreases to slightly less Eason's morale decreases to ---------------------------------  --------------------------------- The group didn't have nearly enough to eat. Doubt festers. Lose 2 food, now have 0. Ebony's morale decreases to Hermit's morale decreases to almost Max's morale decreases to Eason's morale decreases to --------------------------------- I can't help but notice someone's morale is higher than the others... The game threw me a right curveball here. And on this cliffhanger, I'll have to end this update here! Next update ends with a choice in a rather peculiar situation, if it makes up for us not having a choice here. NEXT TIME: The Downwards Morale Spiral continues! Left 4 Bread fucked around with this message at 03:11 on Nov 11, 2021 |
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Nov 11, 2021 02:41
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Also, should I keep using the smilies for stats, or should I just post the numbers? EDIT: Also, next wave of created characters! 
Left 4 Bread fucked around with this message at 02:50 on Nov 11, 2021 |
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Nov 11, 2021 02:44
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Ebony, the possibly axe-murderer, has tricked everyone, I bet. Unfortunately, Saph has died before I was able to draw her fully, but that's okay. I might just do one drawing per run of everyone. Post the numbers, I never REALLY got used to DRTC's emoticon stat faces and I'm probably not about to.
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Nov 11, 2021 02:56
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I would say post both the faces and the numbers -- caters to everybody that way. Ah yes, the downwards morale spiral of not enough food. Otherwise known as the constant state in which I play this game.
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Nov 11, 2021 02:59
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You think i know how to READ!? Only the faces, numbers are for CHUMPS They sure weren't lying, this truly is a Death Road to Canada. Gotta say, telling us that you "know the best responses to the events" and then taking control away from the thread to bring on an extra mouth to feed and almost getting the dog killed instead of scavenging for food and gas unironically rules, my instinctual bloodlust is popping off right now Odd Wilson posted:[url=https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3984196&pagenumber=2#post519135182UPDATE 5: Sweat Band Menace[/url] broken link on that OP, by the by
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Nov 11, 2021 03:31
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