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Before you is a magic button which, if pressed, will cause Santa Claus to become real somewhere in the arctic. However, as a magical consequence of this, Count Dracula will also become real somewhere in Romania (indoors). Both will materialize knowing that they exist purely because of your actions. You have no way of knowing the long term effects of this. Dracula may ignore you, offer to turn you, or eat you out of pique. Vampire apocalypse? Put on the naughty list for summoning a vampire? No way to know! Santa fights Dracula? Santa's Christmas-based nature should give him an edge against the unholy, but Rudolph teaches us that he's powerless by himself against fog and Drac can turn to mist so it's anyone's ball game. Even in the best case scenario where they're both grateful there's no real way to stay on the Nice List while also killing and eating people so "Christmas presents for eternity" isn't an option. Do you press the button? Can you accept that responsibility?
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Nov 19, 2021 02:43
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Yeah I'd press it.
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Nov 19, 2021 02:47
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Literally everyone in the world knows how to kill Dracula so the second he slips up and reveals himself it's gonna be a gold rush to be the guy who killed Dracula. After that it's free presents for everyone.
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Nov 19, 2021 02:49
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Drac will either ignore me, be grateful to me, turn me into a dracula, kill me Overall odds are good Push button
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Nov 19, 2021 02:50
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Applewhite posted:Literally everyone in the world knows how to kill Dracula so the second he slips up and reveals himself it's gonna be a gold rush to be the guy who killed Dracula. After that it's free presents for everyone. Yeah but also tens of millions of weirdos are going to attempt to castle doctrine Santa; do you want all those friendly fire deaths and accidental claymore detonations on your conscience? Plus you know Santa's gonna end up in some government lab where they slice bits off until they find where the jolly comes from. I'd push it.
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Nov 19, 2021 02:57
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Xaintrailles posted:Yeah but also tens of millions of weirdos are going to attempt to castle doctrine Santa; do you want all those friendly fire deaths and accidental claymore detonations on your conscience? If I wasn't sold before I am now. Push.
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Nov 19, 2021 03:03
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What if Draculer turns Santa?
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Nov 19, 2021 03:05
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Yeah I'm pushing that button because it's all about Dracula. Santa is going to die of exposure in the Arctic before anyone even knows he's there. Hopefully Dracula will track me down and end me and then I don't have to be me anymore which is all I've wanted my entire loving miserable life
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Nov 19, 2021 03:05
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Pushing that button because now it becomes possible to gently caress both Dracula and Santa and I'd say that the world is a better place for it.
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Nov 19, 2021 03:08
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I would sell the button for 10 million dollars
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Nov 19, 2021 03:08
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Xaintrailles posted:Yeah but also tens of millions of weirdos are going to attempt to castle doctrine Santa; do you want all those friendly fire deaths and accidental claymore detonations on your conscience? If the government dissected Santa it'd be casus belli for the Catholic church to declare a holy war.
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Nov 19, 2021 03:09
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You idiots. There's a panic button underneath the button panel that calls the police and they make 100 Santas and 100 Draculas but they're all in Bulgaria 600 years ago and you don't have to deal with it.
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Nov 19, 2021 03:30
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Does Santa have any real "powers" beyond extremely fast travel one night a year? Doesn't really measure up to unleashing vampirism on the earth.
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Nov 19, 2021 03:36
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Santa Claus: Delusions of grandeur (yeah sure, visit every house in the world in one night, totally nuts), spies on children year round so as to pass judgement on them, serial trespasser, no respect for patent laws (elves making toys). Dracula: Evil serial killer. Why the gently caress would I want to create either of these demonic entities.
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Nov 19, 2021 03:40
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If Santa gives enough free gifts he might break capitalism so I say its worth a shot
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Nov 19, 2021 03:47
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Never EVER press that button. Santa is a loving pervo and will 100% watch you when you pee.
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Nov 19, 2021 03:47
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super sweet best pal posted:What if Draculer turns Santa? Vampire Santa must already be a movie, or at least a comic book
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Nov 19, 2021 03:49
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Sorry OP, I don’t push buttons. Make it a lever and we’ll talk.
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Nov 19, 2021 03:49
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Vampire Santa is theoretically able to visit every house in the world in a single night, but he has to be personally invited into each home.
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Nov 19, 2021 03:53
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Literally A Person posted:Never EVER press that button. Santa is a loving pervo and will 100% watch you when you pee. 
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Nov 19, 2021 04:03
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Arctic is water now. You drowned Santa Dracula however is now in London but on a workers visa
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Nov 19, 2021 04:06
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I'm Dracula. I'm Pickle Dracula. lol that's a joke that doesn't make sense to me but I like Draculas so I probably like Pickle Draculas too. Like a big pickle with fangs that wears a cape and bites people and turns them into cucumbers that eventually get pickled.
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Nov 19, 2021 04:13
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I push the button. Santa gives Dracula a Christmas toy that melts his monstrous heart and turns him into a compassionate human.
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Nov 19, 2021 04:20
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Wait, that was the Winter Warlock in Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town. Yeah, I still press the button and someone will kill Dracula regardless leaving me vampire free.
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Nov 19, 2021 04:24
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Its win win because either Dracula kills me or i wish to die for xmas and santa kills me either way I get to shuffle off this gay coil
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Nov 19, 2021 04:27
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Literally A Person posted:Never EVER press that button. Santa is a loving pervo and will 100% watch you when you pee. i watch you pee, and i'm not a pervo. it's for science. .......DRACULA SCIENCE PUSH BUTTON
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Nov 19, 2021 04:52
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I don't give a poo poo about dracula but Santas power is too great. What if he watches youtube and becomes radicalized? If he can put gifts into every house he can also put bombs.
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Nov 19, 2021 04:53
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drat everyone fuckin wantin to die, gimme an xbox santa!
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Nov 19, 2021 05:07
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didn't read the op past "button", i obv press it, doesn't matter what it does
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Nov 19, 2021 05:15
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Is tuggin' good, bad or neutral in Santa's opinion?
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Nov 19, 2021 05:18
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You have no way of knowing until you ask him.
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Nov 19, 2021 05:20
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this is a question about inventing magic so yes
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Nov 19, 2021 05:22
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no i wouldn't push the button
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Nov 19, 2021 05:48
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Bad Purchase posted:no i wouldn't push the button coward
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Nov 19, 2021 05:51
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the button pushers are the cowards. the consequences of pushing it are spelled out, clear as a bell. nobody knows what happens if you don't push it.
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Nov 19, 2021 05:55
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super sweet best pal posted:What if Draculer turns Santa? That becomes pretty problematic for Santa, since vampires can't enter homes unless explicitly invited. So I assume his performance drops and he loses his job.
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Nov 19, 2021 06:04
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I would press the button just for the satisfaction of getting to watch my kids experience the crushing despair that comes from realizing they were lied to all along for the second time
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Nov 19, 2021 06:15
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is a threesome with santa and dracula a possibility? but what if dracula bit santa and turned him though... i have a lot to think about
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Nov 19, 2021 06:21
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Dracula isn't going to start a vampire apocalypse, dumbass. He keeps his minions sexy and under control.
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Nov 19, 2021 06:31
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ikanreed posted:Dracula isn't going to start a vampire apocalypse, dumbass. He keeps his minions sexy and under control. I was lead to believe this would happen AFTER I was bitten
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Nov 19, 2021 06:39
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