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Kin posted:So 2 weeks into being a dad and all I can say is thank gently caress I had 3 weeks of holiday saved up to tack onto the end of my pat leave. Hi, grats on your new human! Ditto to all the other folks in the thread who have also been busy producing the next generation of radicals. Unlurking to offer this suggestion that may or may not be a workable help for you, and more specifically your partner. One of the (few) good things that my ex did with our kids was to combine breast feeding and co-sleeping. Both of our kids very quickly sorted out how to latch on and feed during the night without her having to fully wake up. She'd partly wake up, enough to help with her or the baby's position if needed and then doze while they fed until they felt like they'd had enough. Meant that she was the envy of all the other shattered new mums at the new baby group since she got much, much more rest than they managed. We put barriers up on either side of the double bed so the wee one couldn't fall out - two of the sort of barrier/fence thing that they make for slightly older kids' beds worked brilliantly and they are designed to prevent any risk of the bairn getting stuck between them and the bed itself. I had been sleeping in the sitting room before the birth anyway, because I was working crazy long hours at a call centre and had to get up at different stupid o'clock times in the morning which she found too disruptive to her sleep, so we just continued with that set up. Result, happy baby and a pretty well rested mother. Obviously this might not be workable and it is definitely not advisable if the mother is taking anything to help her sleep since being medicated can give a risk of not noticing if she rolls over towards the baby and is too chemically zoned out to feel it and move away. We never had any issues with this at all, the human animal is pretty good at this sort of thing or we as a species wouldn't be here. If the mother is habitually taking recreational drugs or drinking heavily this is also a huge danger of course but if that's the case there already other problems which I'm sure don't apply to you. Also, be sensible with pillows - no more than absolutely needed, you want less clutter not more. More details that I can recall if you want 'em. Whatever solutions you find (and you will it's one of the few things that are genuinely human nature), just enjoy the hell out of the Great Adventure that you are sharing with your small person as they explore the world and work out exactly how you bigger people communicate so they can join in. Re; a couple of other later comments that I'm not going to delve back to find to quote cos I haven't slept (hello manic phase!). Babies can and do smile long before the sixth week, my eldest was smiling by day 3 - much to the amusement of the nurses in the maternity ward (lots of "You're not supposed to do that yet you know" teasing comments). No it wasn't wind, I have photos to prove it. And, yeah no kidding even the smallest babies have a want and need to be social with other humans, again it's an actual part of human nature. Humans are born as fully fledged personalities, none of this "blank slate waiting to be filled" crap. To quote Oliver Postgate "there's no such thing as children there's just people who haven't been around as long". Just cos they can't speak doesn't mean that they aren't communicating, and want to be communicated with, and played with and gently teased and amazed and so on and so forth. I've spent almost all of my life embedded in stuff to do with very young babies since my father has worked on infant development for over 50 years (and shows no signs of stopping despite having reached his 90s). It's apparently all my fault, he was working with primates when I was born and in his own words "I realised that EV was more interesting than a baboon"* so he started working with young humans instead. He gets called a psychologist but self-describes as a biologist who studies people. I am also inordinately proud of the fact that Stephen Pinker hates him because he keeps poking holes in Pinker's pet theories. Pinker is a self-important twit. *I _am_ going to get that on a T-shirt, and yes I am ancient  Enough, or too much! Off to continue enjoying the horrible Christmas that Boris is having. Bloody fantastic stuff and so loving deserved. Keep being the weird lefty (well mostly...) virtual pub that this thread is. Keep yourselves and others as sane and safe from the 'rona as you can. Have fun, stay groovy. I'll eventually catch up with the thread again, and if my brain is in whizzing mode you might just suffer another traditional wall of text. Sorry not sorry
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Dec 17, 2021 11:26
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Hi thread, foregoing my usual OCD/masochistic need to read every single drat post in here (so fukkin many...) to wish you all a splendid New Year. Have a blast, don't catch plague, be kind to each other. RIP to icon and star April Ashley - who I narrowly escaped appearing in a video with back in the early 80s. I was lending the film crew some of my stage lights to use and the very drunk director got it in his head that tall, long-haired, bearded me would look good in a red velvet ballgown. Was trying to think of an escape when there was a quiet "Ahem" from behind us. Turned around and there was April resplendent in her own red velvet ballgown, she gave him a look and said witheringly "No. I don't think so." Total goddess. Fine with me, crew don't do stage. To celebrate her and all like her, have a banging song by another fabulous star in the trans firmament from back in the day, the incredible, one and only Jayne County. Still kicking it. I once found myself standing next to Jayne at the bar after a gig a friend put on, I was far too starstruck to say anything though. Wish I had. As is often the case she was terrifying on stage but reportedly a real honey off it. I am also convinced that the secret reason Glinner and all the other current rabid male anti-trans nuts are quite so loving crazy is that, even if they don't know it exists, they all share a deep unconscious knowledge that the only answer they could possibly give to this song is a resounding No. Play loud. See ya next year. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7a75IwL7btw
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Dec 31, 2021 21:38
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