Pine tar soap: Tis the season to smell like a burning pine tree.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Pine tar soap: Tis the season to smell like a burning pine tree.

Duck and Cover: Apr 6, 2007

I just like pine tar soap and wish to spread the wonders of it. It's very smelly. Really it smells smoky not so much piney.

quote:

Well, you looked. I warned you not to and you did. Good. That means you�re a rule breaker and a renegade spirit. Welcome.
If you came here by mistake, leave. This isn�t for you. Here�s your chance. Run. Flee. Raise your white flag.
Now for the rest of you. This is genuine frontier, bad rear end, cowboy, Native, whaler, pirate, mountain man, get things done, outlaw, country in a bar. Pure adventure.
This soap comes out of the pages of history.
REAL PINE TAR soap. This is the REAL DEAL. Difficult to make, and hard to find. 100% natural. Super smokey. Made from: saponified Coconut oil. Olive oil. Pine tar. The blood of our enemies. (Just kidding, it�s vegan)
Not some sad, weak, pathetic knock off. This is pure pine tar soap. NOTHING ELSE ADDED!! It�s lethal. Highly addictive. Powerful. Healthy.
It smells like victory, a naval battle and the frontier all tied up into one. This is fight soap. War soap. Crush your enemies soap. Take no prisoners soap. It is NOT for the timid.

This soap was almost lost to time. It�s an old recipe. Pine tar was used by Native Americans for their belief in its healing powers. They used it to treat eczema and many other skin disorders. Made by using the roots of pine trees that are heated in an airless environment. The liquid that oozes is pine tar. This recipe was then resurrected in the ages when men built tall ships and sailed them into legend and eternity. Yup. It�s pirate soap.

It smells like smoke and pine.
The bar is black.
The lather is black. (It won�t color you. It cleans to your soul.)
Raise the black flag and sail into victory.

https://www.thehealthyporcupine.com/soap/pine-tar-20 Good.
https://www.oldwhippersnappers.com/collections/our-premium-handmade-soaps/products/authentic-20-pine-tar-soap Bad.
https://www.etsy.com/listing/585776472/dangerpine-tar-soap?ref=yr_purchases I think I liked this one but didn't last. Also the source for the quote above.
https://drsquatch.com/collections/bar-soaps/products/pine-tar Didn't like this one.

# ¿ Dec 7, 2021 05:16

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 06:45

Duck and Cover: Apr 6, 2007

Caesar Saladin posted:

drat that copy makes it sound like some manly soap, nothing like that normal soaps for girls and wusses

Let's see what Dr. Squatch has to say.

quote:

Rugged, woodsy, and strong, just like a Squatch man should be.

# ¿ Dec 7, 2021 07:54

Duck and Cover: Apr 6, 2007

Big Beef City posted:

Crazy Wild Dicks Soap
It's lanolin and vodka.
You know what lanolin is?
It's poo poo they squeeze out of sheep hair.
But guess what?
We leave some of the hair right in the loving bar.
It's like your rubbing Lambchop on your loving shaft every time you shower you stupid gently caress.
Come out mostly clean and smelling like the stable JESUS was born in. gently caress!

Lanolin is actually nice in soap. https://www.amazon.com/Mitchells-Wool-Fat-Soap-Approx/dp/B003IX7CFM

its all nice on rice posted:

I use bar soap and a washcloth. Pretty simple and we get lots of lovely scents. We order it from a small business in Idaho, though, so for all we know we're funding white supremacists.

E: our current soap bar is lemongrass scented.

https://goatmilkstuff.com/pages/about-goat-milk-soap-family

quote:

The Jonas family is a God-loving, hard-working, ever-learning family that seeks to honor Jesus in all that we do. We began Goat Milk Stuff to share the goodness of goat milk with others, to bring Jim home full-time, and to provide an environment where the children could learn to be entrepreneurs.

Farm life is wonderful for raising children and we are super excited to be able to share not only our Goat Milk Stuff when you shop on our site, but to be able to share a piece of our lives whether you are reading PJ's blog, watching our YouTube videos, or visiting us here on the farm.

As the children and Goat Milk Stuff have grown, we've been able to watch all of these goals come to fruition. We have a very simple philosophy when it comes to parenting and educating our children. It can be summed up as follows:

We get asked a lot of questions about ourselves, so we decided to answer some of the more common ones below. Thanks for all of your support of Goat Milk Stuff!

Everything is a God issue and a learning opportunity (including making and selling goat milk soap). Hard work builds character which is an essential ingredient to a successful life. Each of our children are unique individuals with unique strengths and weaknesses and are raised as individuals. The family unit is a team and we all are sometimes called to sacrifice for the team.

# ¿ Dec 7, 2021 17:45

Duck and Cover: Apr 6, 2007

rotinaj posted:

Anything with an artificial fragrance in it makes me break out in such insane body acne that I look like the fuckin� Toxic Avenger.

Last time I tried one of these fancy soaps that smell like whatever, it was nice for two days before I exploded into gross zits everywhere. I bet this poo poo would do the same. So, at least I don�t need to worry about this awful marketing.

quote:

Pine tar is a form of tar produced by the high temperature carbonization of pine wood in anoxic conditions (dry distillation or destructive distillation). The wood is rapidly decomposed by applying heat and pressure in a closed container; the primary resulting products are charcoal and pine tar.

Yum.

# ¿ Dec 7, 2021 19:11

Duck and Cover: Apr 6, 2007

anatomi posted:

Now theoretically & don't jump to conclusions like you always do you dumbsh*ts, theoretically if I ate an entire pine tar soap

and this is SCIENCE, this is just a theory & hypotheticality-making at this point & I haven't even eaten tiny pieces of pine tar soap yet & gradually consumed bigger chunks but had to stop because my boss called me into a meeting & made up some bullshit that the clients were freaked out by partly the intense pine tar smell but frankly mostly the pitch-black gums & spittle

theoretically, and I know alot about science theory as well as power science from Joe's the Rogan podcast ("eat your prote & clean your scrote, Darwinists!"), theoretically if I ate an entire bar of tar pine soap would that convince a Norway Spruce ("Picea abies") to throat-gently caress me with its powerful roots????

No eating soap does not make you a video game druid. Sorry.

# ¿ Dec 8, 2021 00:45

Duck and Cover: Apr 6, 2007

Sophy Wackles posted:

I use Dove unscented bar DIRECTLY ON MY BODY.

Duke Cannon makes bigger bars. 10oz!

# ¿ Dec 8, 2021 01:05

Duck and Cover: Apr 6, 2007

Trip report took shower and so I now smell like I rolled around in a campfire. A++ would soap again.

# ¿ Dec 8, 2021 06:13

Duck and Cover: Apr 6, 2007

Elukka posted:

That's what I was saying. Apparently in the US though it's a TURBO MASCULINE MANLY MAN SCENT.

It's more that it's just not very common here. Neutrogena t/gel is pretty common but that's coal tar. You sometimes will see Grandpa pine tar shampoo/soap etc. but it's not an every store kind of thing.

# ¿ Dec 8, 2021 19:18

Duck and Cover: Apr 6, 2007

central dogma posted:

Shoulda opened a soap company. Nearly 10 quid for a bar of some of these soaps jfc.

That Marlowe one may be 9.50 usd but it's also 7ozs as opposed to a typical 4oz.

9.50/7 compared to Healthy Porcupine which is 7/4

So 1.36 per oz. vs 1.75 per oz. Not that either one is cheap. Dove on Amazon is like .30ish per ounce depending on how much and what type you buy.

# ¿ Dec 9, 2021 00:07

Duck and Cover: Apr 6, 2007

lil poopendorfer posted:

Is this the same thing as Africa n Black Soap?

E:. Looks similar

It is not. Black soap is alright I but found the brands I tried too drying for me.

Duck and Cover fucked around with this message at 01:49 on Dec 9, 2021

# ¿ Dec 9, 2021 01:40

Duck and Cover: Apr 6, 2007

Jesustheastronaut! posted:

This poo poo stained my shower liner and ruined my marriage. Twice. Don't buy what the OP is selling you. Instead, buy Duke Cannon's soap for Naval Supremacy

The bars are too big for my little hands. Wait I mean I have huge hands massive hands, super big hands, so big in fact the bars are too small.

# ¿ Dec 9, 2021 06:23

Duck and Cover: Apr 6, 2007

Chinatown posted:

loving BOW DOWN. ALL ONE!!! ALL ONE!!! ALL ONE!!! ALL ONE!!!

Too liquidity, too strong, not enough Jesus. The peppermint one does tingle ones balls so it does have that going for it.

# ¿ Dec 9, 2021 07:35

Duck and Cover: Apr 6, 2007

Chinatown posted:

read the label idiot

Wow that's enough Jesus for you? gently caress off poo poo head.

Duck and Cover fucked around with this message at 08:30 on Dec 9, 2021

# ¿ Dec 9, 2021 08:24

Duck and Cover: Apr 6, 2007

Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:

This is what I use:

Does it cure covid?

# ¿ Dec 9, 2021 22:24

Duck and Cover: Apr 6, 2007

I must confess to this thread, yesterday I did not use pine tar soap. I'm not sorry though because I do not care about you.

# ¿ Dec 11, 2021 03:20

Duck and Cover: Apr 6, 2007

Cosmic Thing posted:

not any of us? like none of us at all? or like 90% of us....?

Well I guess I could maybe care a little bit about pine tar soap users but it's become clear to me that flock is blind. Open your eyes, your minds, experience the glory that is pine tar.

# ¿ Dec 11, 2021 04:09

Duck and Cover: Apr 6, 2007

The Bramble posted:

OP I'm a Dr. Bronners man but I want to try your soap. What's one I can get on Amazon that's good.

https://www.amazon.com/Pine-Tar-Soa...ps%2C196&sr=8-1

Which is tallow based so if you're vegan oh well.

There's https://www.amazon.com/Grandpa-Original-Cleanser-Deodorizer-Moisturizer/dp/B074HR89GN/ref=sr_1_4?keywords=pine+tar&qid=1639200736&sr=8-4 which I haven't tried but that brands pine tar shampoo is good so maybe the soap is too.

Duck and Cover fucked around with this message at 06:34 on Dec 11, 2021

# ¿ Dec 11, 2021 05:22

Duck and Cover: Apr 6, 2007

The Walrus posted:

alright I got the tar soap.

had a bath last night

I felt like a pork shoulder marinating in smoky sous vide liquid.

asked KL for some bay leaves and she said 'no that's a waste'

I do like the smell of campfire though and now my bathroom smells like a campfire ALL the time and i assume I do as well

verdict,

three wild bear asses out of five

So really good? Pretty sure wild bear asses are like Michelin stars and even one is an accomplishment.

# ¿ Dec 13, 2021 20:34

Duck and Cover: Apr 6, 2007

It's been a tough month for me due to trying coffee soap. It's not that it's bad, it's just not transcendent like the pine tar soap. It's okay tonight we fixed that lapse in judgement. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.

# ¿ Feb 6, 2022 07:44

Duck and Cover: Apr 6, 2007

I have started to use the last of my pine tar soap. I should buy more.

# ¿ Apr 10, 2022 22:36

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 06:45

Duck and Cover: Apr 6, 2007

For Christmas I got the seven bars of pine tar soap I requested. Why seven? I wanted to hit the "free" shipping threshold. That's my story.

# ¿ Dec 26, 2022 00:28

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Pine tar soap: Tis the season to smell like a burning pine tree.