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AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993

Xaintrailles posted:

Are you here for xmas OP? If so, there's things you need to know:

1) Stand up for the Queen's speech and remain standing until it ends, or you will be stabbed.
2) People might have discussed potential gifts with you, even up to pointing items out in a shop or sending links to web stores. This is a polite formality. Everyone wants and expects to get an orange. Better gifters will disguise the orange as some other kind of present, but, when you unwrap it, it's an orange. Don't give anything else. Don't argue. It's tradition.
3) Xmas pudding is actually not bad. This is so shocking that it must be ritually burned.
4) If you have to have a conversation with distant relatives remember that suicide by cop is much harder here.
5) The local lord may visit and demand his rightful pick of the presents. He will leave if you give him an orange.

its amazing how our cultures can be so close .. and yet so different ...

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NotJustANumber99
Feb 15, 2012

somehow that last av was even worse than your posting
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/nuts-final-issue-lucy-pinder-cries-on-the-front-cover-as-the-lads-mag-9310248.html

so sad

Bum the Sad
Aug 25, 2002
Hell Gem

Dr. Quarex posted:

I bet if you went to a Barnes & Noble in America you would still see like 100 magazines, though. I am always confused by how many still exist every time I randomly end up there


They have a bunch at my local Bass Pro Shop that I may actually want, like about gun stuff. But they're located after the registers by the exit. This is a store with a separate designated entrance and exit. So like if you intend to buy anything at the store the only way to get to them is after you've already been through the checkout. I don't know if they've ever sold one.

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

A Soft Nylon Bag

Nuts Magazine, featuring Tits

Derpies
Mar 11, 2014

by sebmojo
Go to North Ireland and just cause a loving ruckus OP

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe
LOVE BIG BRITISH TITTIES!!! :D

frh
Dec 6, 2014

Hire Kenny G to play for me in the elevator.
I'm here as a Christmas gift to my wife who always wanted to take a vacation here

I still really want intel on the booming paper magazine industry here

Snowy
Oct 6, 2010

A man whose blood
Is very snow-broth;
One who never feels
The wanton stings and
Motions of the sense



Dr. Quarex posted:

This is Finnish

Nah, I’m pretty sure there’re Swedish

Collateral
Feb 17, 2010

She must be pushing 40 by now. Gravity comes on best boobs alas.

Chief McHeath
Apr 23, 2002

What the gently caress is a "bloke?" Why the heck is it bloody?

chaosbreather
Dec 9, 2001

Wry and wise,
but also very sexual.

uk:print media::us:meth

Sentinel
Jan 1, 2009

High Tech
Low Life




At least our two nations have common ground in our love of tits.

Szyznyk
Mar 4, 2008

Go to Finchley and pay your goddamned respect to the Baroness Thatcher.

Huge Lady Pleaser
Jun 17, 2005

hello how r u doing im just looking for ppl 2 chill wit relax go out n have funn if ur looking for da same thing hit me up
Nap Ghost

Collateral posted:

She must be pushing 40 by now. Gravity comes on best boobs alas.

I also comes on best boobs

Haptical Sales Slut
Mar 15, 2010

Age 18 to 49
Thought that was a shop of Natalie Portman and suddenly remembered webrings.

Like these huge boobs? Sign my guestbook.

jazzyhattrick
Jul 1, 2010

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
If you want some good non-tit related magazines, get Private Eye and Viz.

Private Eye is a weird combo of comedy and investigative journalism. They've been sued for libel by some of the worst people imaginable, but they just keep on going.

Viz is some of the best childish toilet humour you will ever see.

Strategic Tea
Sep 1, 2012

Private Eye is basically the only actual journalism in the UK; the newspapers are owned by crooks and about on par with the US news cycle.

Whybird
Aug 2, 2009

Phaiston have long avoided the tightly competetive defence sector, but the IRDA Act 2052 has given us the freedom we need to bring out something really special.

https://team-robostar.itch.io/robostar


Nap Ghost
Although Private Eye's jUsT aSkInG QuEsTiOnS stance on Andrew Wakefield's vaccine "research" is one of the reasons antivaxxers are such a prominent force today, so it has a lot to answer for there.

wooger
Apr 16, 2005

YOU RESENT?

Poohs Packin posted:

Who the actual gently caress are 99% of british celebs you can literally do one good tv season and youll end up doing game shows and talk appearances in perpetuity .

Doesn’t have to be good. Also: win an Olympic medal or 11.

You have a US centric view if you don’t think your celebs are the same though.

Thousands of sportspeople who are household names in the USA, but no one knows elsewhere outside of Brady. Literally a billion US only chat shows, news presenters, politicians etc that are unknown.

The big movie stars and musicians are the exception, but fully half of them are British anyway.

This is the same for every country you don’t live in in the world.

jazzyhattrick
Jul 1, 2010

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Whybird posted:

Although Private Eye's jUsT aSkInG QuEsTiOnS stance on Andrew Wakefield's vaccine "research" is one of the reasons antivaxxers are such a prominent force today, so it has a lot to answer for there.

I'd think the alarmist coverage by the tabloid press would have had a much bigger effect. Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think the Eye even featured it on their front page.

Also it's easy to criticise with hindsight now that we all know Wakefield was a charlatan who fabricated his results.

Galewolf
Jan 9, 2007

The human gallbladder is indeed a puzzle!
It's insane that something called Mince Pie doesn't have like actual "beef / lamb mince" as the name suggest but filled with some weird rear end jam/marmalade filling.

UK, are you trying to be a special boy again?

wooger
Apr 16, 2005

YOU RESENT?

Galewolf posted:

It's insane that something called Mince Pie doesn't have like actual "beef / lamb mince" as the name suggest but filled with some weird rear end jam/marmalade filling.

UK, are you trying to be a special boy again?

You can mince many different things.

But there did used to be sweetened and heavily spiced minced meat in them, you can still find the old recipes.

The proper ones still contain beef fat at least.

Turrurrurrurrrrrrr
Dec 22, 2018

I hope this is "battle" enough for you, friend.

Caesar Saladin posted:

dad reads a magazine about freight shipping


so what?

Whybird
Aug 2, 2009

Phaiston have long avoided the tightly competetive defence sector, but the IRDA Act 2052 has given us the freedom we need to bring out something really special.

https://team-robostar.itch.io/robostar


Nap Ghost

jazzyhattrick posted:

I'd think the alarmist coverage by the tabloid press would have had a much bigger effect. Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think the Eye even featured it on their front page.

Also it's easy to criticise with hindsight now that we all know Wakefield was a charlatan who fabricated his results.

They ran a whole special report on it:

EL BROMANCE
Jun 10, 2006

COWABUNGA DUDES!
🥷🐢😬



wooger posted:

You have a US centric view if you don’t think your celebs are the same though.

Until the HBO show, John Oliver was practically unheard of in the UK. Craig Ferguson is probably still mostly unknown.

Makes me wonder how many Americans know who Ruby Wax or Rich Hall are, I’m gonna guess not a huge amount.

roomtone
Jul 1, 2021

by Fluffdaddy

(and can't post for 22 days!)

i'm from the uk and i don't know who ruby wax or rich hall are

john oliver and craig ferguson got famous in america and at least for craig, is actually an american now, so that explains them

Grillfiend
Nov 29, 2015

Belgians ITT
(ie Me)


Craig Ferguson is the drummer of Peter Capaldi's old band, right?

Murdstone
Jun 14, 2005

I'm feeling Jimmy


EL BROMANCE posted:

Until the HBO show, John Oliver was practically unheard of in the UK. Craig Ferguson is probably still mostly unknown.

Makes me wonder how many Americans know who Ruby Wax or Rich Hall are, I’m gonna guess not a huge amount.
I remembered Rich Hall from back in the SNL days into the 90s and was surprised to discover how well-known he was in the UK.

Dr. Quarex
Apr 18, 2003

I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

TOVA TOVA TOVA
I looked up Rich Hall a few years back because my parents and I all found Sniglets delightful when I was a young kid, and I was like... Wait, he is actually still working in entertainment? Hell yeah, you go Rich

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




Once you get on TV panel shows you're set for life in the UK

Collateral
Feb 17, 2010

jazzyhattrick posted:

I'd think the alarmist coverage by the tabloid press would have had a much bigger effect. Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think the Eye even featured it on their front page.

Also it's easy to criticise with hindsight now that we all know Wakefield was a charlatan who fabricated his results.

Tabloid alarmist stories on vaccines happened in the 70's with the Whooping Cough Vaccine scare, bastards. :mad:

I would not surprised if this wasn't just another salvo in the class war.

wooger
Apr 16, 2005

YOU RESENT?

bitterandtwisted posted:

Once you get on TV panel shows you're set for life in the UK

Yep, closed list for the tv circuit, regardless of talent, or even writing a new set every year.

Pure torture if you know actual talented standups who can’t get a sniff.

git apologist
Jun 4, 2003

serious answer, maybe because you spend a lot of time on public transport in the uk and grabbing a mag to distract yourself from your inner critic is a good option

frh
Dec 6, 2014

Hire Kenny G to play for me in the elevator.

Gentle Autist posted:

serious answer, maybe because you spend a lot of time on public transport in the uk and grabbing a mag to distract yourself from your inner critic is a good option

Finally a real answer.

Maybe Big Magazine has been the ones paying chavs to knick people's cell phones on the subways

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

All I know about the UK I learned from Peep Show.

Frazzbo
Feb 2, 2006

Thistle dubh

roomtone posted:

i'm from the uk and i don't know who ruby wax or rich hall are

john oliver and craig ferguson got famous in america and at least for craig, is actually an american now, so that explains them

Craig Ferguson began his stage life as Bing Hitler: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-m4wkYWEK4c

Funnier back then, IMO.

SilvergunSuperman
Aug 7, 2010

Better looking as an old man though, that guy's just some shithead chubby chav

Xaintrailles
Aug 14, 2015

:hellyeah::histdowns:

Gentle Autist posted:

serious answer, maybe because you spend a lot of time on public transport in the uk and grabbing a mag to distract yourself from your inner critic is a good option

I'm sure this used to be true, but I don't think I see many people reading magazines on public transport any more. Of course I might be too busy staring at my phone to notice.

I suspect the real answer is a combination of huge profit margin on sold copies and advertisers overpaying based on sketchy circulation figures, and that most that are printed go in the bin unread.

Jeza
Feb 13, 2011

The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

Blooster posted:

I'm here as a Christmas gift to my wife who always wanted to take a vacation here

I still really want intel on the booming paper magazine industry here

Dunno about lads mags and stuff, but one business (Future Publishing plc) owns a huge swathe of the hobbyist magazine market. It was teetering near the edge of collapse around 5 years ago, but it has been through a sort of miracle recovery under different leadership.

Although market value isn't everything, it was valued at around £30 million in 2014. Now its market value is apparently £4.7 billion. Its share price has gone from like 80p up to £35+ per share. It did this by significantly building up the online side of magazines. They also expanded and consolidated other big magazine publishers. I seriously doubt the print magazines themselves are much more than marginally profitable/break even (some are likely even loss making), but their branding and market name recognition is still extremely valuable, and can be leveraged.

For a magazine I used to get as a kid, PC Gamer, you can easily see how it now represents a key reviewer/product aggregator website. If you want the best gaming mouse, monitor, graphics card etc. it comes very high on Google rankings and it has a lot of affiliate links. It's probably the same for every magazine they run. The success of the online side effectively keeps afloat the print side of the business, and it will do while it is still seen as beneficial to keep them around. You can imagine that under other circumstances, the publisher would have gone insolvent a few years ago and a good deal of other ones too and then the shelves would have looked a lot more like they apparently do in the US.

Hope you enjoy your trip, OP. Sorry you came when it is especially grey, miserable and plague-ridden. More so than usual, I mean.

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Ape Fist
Feb 23, 2007

Nowadays, you can do anything that you want; anal, oral, fisting, but you need to be wearing gloves, condoms, protection.

Phil is a loving King.

Anyway nice loving Seppo thread, nerds, what're you gonna do, die from lack of affordable healthcare about it. :smuggo:

Edit: I think the popularity of Magazines in the UK is probably moreso to do with the fact that about 80% of the over 40 population in the UK is completely and totally technologically illiterate outside of looking at the match scores on their phones so they still like to buy BIG FUCKIN' TITZ weekly and Viz magazines.

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