BYOB Small Claims Court

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Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

Court is in ****ing order. What's the big idea bub? Why you here?

# ? Dec 19, 2021 04:09

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# ? May 4, 2024 12:39

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

first degree joke theft

# ? Dec 19, 2021 04:19

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

oh sorry, i'm just passing through to the taco bell

Join the BYOB Army

^{thank you again Saoshyant!!}

# ? Dec 19, 2021 04:31

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

did i steal your joke? :ohdear:

# ? Dec 19, 2021 04:31

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

Plant MONSTER. posted:

did i steal your joke?

no I'm just looking out 4 for folks in here. I've seen more boner jokes stolen than u can imagine

spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot

# ? Dec 19, 2021 04:42

Kaiser Schnitzel: Schnitzel mit uns

Just wondering if a billion dollars counts as small claims or not

https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!

# ? Dec 19, 2021 04:52

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

Kaiser Schnitzel posted:

Just wondering if a billion dollars counts as small claims or not

how big are they

# ? Dec 19, 2021 05:02

They Might Be

if it pleases the court i saw this super cherry looking white '93 volvo 240 turbo and i'm mostly wondering who drives it and what do you do for a living and if i can buy it.

# ? Dec 19, 2021 05:14

barnold: what do u do when yuo're born to play fps? guess there's nothing left to do but play fps. boom headshot

the only small claim in this court is your freakin dick and balls

# ? Dec 19, 2021 05:14

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

barnold posted:

the only small claim in this court is your freakin dick and balls

objection! counsel has clearly not turned on his monitor

Join the BYOB Army

^{thank you again Saoshyant!!}

# ? Dec 19, 2021 05:27

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

I'd like to file an amicus curiae, because we're all friends here.

# ? Dec 19, 2021 10:08

Chrs

barnold posted:

the only small claim in this court is your freakin dick and balls

I am here to represent the op on this matter, I am offering my services pro-boner.

please do not misrepresent the size of their dick and balls. they are not as big as you are saying

# ? Dec 19, 2021 13:32

Dr. Honked: eat it you slaaaaaaag

the smallest clams commit the greatest crimes

^{thanks deep dish pete moss and Plant MONSTER}

# ? Dec 19, 2021 13:52

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

Dr. Honked posted:

the smallest clams commit the greatest crimes

but what of the glochidia??

# ? Dec 19, 2021 16:55

Dr. Honked: eat it you slaaaaaaag

Plant MONSTER. posted:

but what of the glochidia??

they are simply smol childe, waiting to grow up and become master criminals

^{thanks deep dish pete moss and Plant MONSTER}

# ? Dec 19, 2021 17:01

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

Buttchocks posted:

I'd like to file an amicus curiae, because we're all friends here.

# ? Dec 19, 2021 17:50

Viginti Septem: Oculus Noctuae

Wearing my amicus boxer briefs to see the judge

# ? Dec 19, 2021 20:23

google THIS

Dr. Honked posted:

the smallest clams commit the greatest crimes

Your honor these proceedings are a farce, my client is obviously a geoduck

# ? Dec 19, 2021 20:25

Sherbert Hoover: Working hard, thank you!

Buttchocks posted:

I'd like to file an amicus curiae, because we're all friends here.

^{this sig is protected by Simsmagic!}

# ? Dec 19, 2021 20:52

google THIS

Filing a writ of habeus orbus

# ? Dec 19, 2021 21:00

Ass-penny

Accusing some poor user of lurking without posting.

# ? Dec 19, 2021 22:07

Sherbert Hoover: Working hard, thank you!

me: the defendant offered me a coupon

judge: and was this coupon fraudulent?

me: no, your honor

jury: *gasps*

^{this sig is protected by Simsmagic!}

# ? Dec 19, 2021 22:50

google THIS

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, yes, the prenuptial agreement clearly says 1x/month, but there's something we've all forgotten: The moment they said their vows, she was no longer a g/f!

# ? Dec 19, 2021 23:20

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

_{smallest claims court}

# ? Dec 19, 2021 23:44

Ass-penny

Someone ate my wife (bahn mi)!

# ? Dec 19, 2021 23:51

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

I paid $420.69 for this account, not a penny less. I'm not some kind of monster.

# ? Dec 19, 2021 23:55

Viginti Septem: Oculus Noctuae

Plaintiff's Exhibit A:

Defense Lawyer: Your honor! It's a comedy message board, my client thought it would be hilarious to become the first Gooncon VIP-level member. He didn't think there would be no replies to his post in BYOB and he sure as heck fire didn't think he'd actually have to pay that insane amount.

*Judge logs out of Coupons and Deals and looks up from his laptop.

Judge: Court finds for the Plaintiff of YOSPOS

# ? Dec 20, 2021 02:12

Bright Bart: False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped

Making homemade tattoos on each other while doing our time in community service.

# ? Dec 20, 2021 03:15

B33rChiller

Kaiser Schnitzel posted:

Just wondering if a billion dollars counts as small claims or not

A single billion? pffft. small penust.

Totally qualifies as small clams

:trashed:

Dr. Honked posted:

the junk, rather than the trunk

# ? Dec 20, 2021 03:24

B33rChiller

google THIS posted:

Your honor these proceedings are a farce, my client is obviously a geoduck

Funfact time, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5ieEFepUe4 is how that's pronounced around here, where people harvest geoducks for a living.

:trashed:

Dr. Honked posted:

the junk, rather than the trunk

# ? Dec 20, 2021 03:27

Escape From Noise

Judge: Why are you taking off your pants?

Me: a. They're oppression, and b. I'd like to file my briefs.

# ? Dec 20, 2021 05:29

How Wonderful!: I only have excellent ideas

There are no small claims... only...small actors

-sig by Manifisto! goblin by Khanstant! News and possum by deep dish peat moss!

# ? Dec 20, 2021 06:34

Escape From Noise

How Wonderful! posted:

There are no small claims... only...small actors

# ? Dec 20, 2021 06:50

Armitag3: Forget it Jake, it's cybertown.

I want to tell you a story. I'm going to ask you all to close your eyes while I tell you the story. I want you to listen to me. I want you to listen to yourselves. Go ahead. Close your eyes, please. I want you to imagine a fender. Bent beyond its shape, twisted with violence. Now imagine its your fender.

# ? Dec 20, 2021 06:51

Viginti Septem: Oculus Noctuae

Armitag3 posted:

I want to tell you a story. I'm going to ask you all to close your eyes while I tell you the story. I want you to listen to me. I want you to listen to yourselves. Go ahead. Close your eyes, please. I want you to imagine a fender. Bent beyond its shape, twisted with violence. Now imagine its your fender.

# ? Dec 20, 2021 08:59

Escape From Noise

I would like to claim Tiny Meyers (he is very small)

# ? Dec 20, 2021 09:06

pixaal: All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

Hello baggage claims? I'm looking for my underpants

# ? Dec 20, 2021 09:17

They Might Be

bend and twist my tiny fender

maim my car out on the highwayyyy

# ? Dec 20, 2021 11:23

Moo Cowabunga: [Office Worker.

claims that my claims are small have been greatly exaggerated.

Platinum User Pot Smoke Phoenix!

VANISHER

HEATHER PAPPS

https://giant.gfycat.com/WellgroomedImperfectHaddock.webm the vanisher

# ? Dec 20, 2021 11:44

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# ? May 4, 2024 12:39

Twenty Four

byob big claims court:

"I invented the internet, flew around the world twice in a row nonstop in a jet plane I built myself from spare parts I found around the house, and once beat Lebron James in his prime 1v1 in basketball ten games in a row!"

"Those are some mighty big claims there buddy, we're gonna have to settle this in court!"

# ? Dec 20, 2021 12:24

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > BYOB Small Claims Court

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