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Bluecifer What's this? Happiness? Good times? Spaceweed? The citizens of Bluetopia won't stand for this sort of nonsense interrupting a perfect miserable day. Max, see to it that the squadron of flying gloves vapourise anybody found with any on their person. Most wise, your sorrowfulness. They'll be back to wallowing in self-pity within the week. Don't grovel, Max. In the meantime, any of you systems who want to put those dirty Utopiocan beatniks in their place, and get a bit of control back over your people, let me know. Bluetopia don't care for any of those disgusting luxury goods they're hoarding for ourselves, of course, they'd only let our people feel a fleeting sense of satisfaction and worth, but I understand you other systems do put some ridiculous value on those icky feelings. I'm thinking of you in particular, The Walrus, Repeating Meme, and Smugworth.
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# ? Dec 19, 2021 22:43 |
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# ? May 16, 2024 04:45 |
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A recent snipping from the Lil' Bit of Lilville circular about the only thing people on Lilville want to talk about these days!
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# ? Dec 20, 2021 04:22 |
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William Henry Hairytaint posted:I dunno if there's still room but if there is put me in I want to kill Smugworth he is my forums enemy The wise and learned Dutopians, after years of research, created the anti-william equation to combat such a wretched foe.
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# ? Dec 20, 2021 04:36 |
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William Henry Hairytaint posted:I dunno if there's still room but if there is put me in I want to kill Smugworth he is my forums enemy I've been waiting all day for someone to claim Sector E but no one did, so you are now the Lord of Sector E. We will find out what that is and what this all means shortly.
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# ? Dec 20, 2021 04:40 |
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William Henry Hairytant claims the planet of Chezzit - this arboreal wasteland is full of disgusting trees, and life. It's hideous. The Sector Stands Claimed... BUT THEN A STRIKING NEWS BULLETIN Once more, a group of stragglers and rejects has stolen the sector which Sector Selector Station was planning to colonize. This rag-tag band of 13 criminals has already established extensive empires on each of the thirteen planets of The Sector. "We are weighing our options. We will get The Sector back from these two-bit villains." said Sector Selector Station's Chief of Security Beefed Owl, a native Dutopian and neon dynamo. "I will not allow these goons to steal my beloved planet from me." \ Who's This? A cute little spaceship - well, more like a van on thrusters - has been seen prowling The Sector. It's current whereabouts are unknown. If spotted, Authorities encourage you to call The Authorities, Authorities say. The Spoctopus Wakes The large space octopus named The Spoctopus is no longer dormant. The beast has been seen moving Space-Southeast toward Blucifer and Utopioca. Some locals are alarmed. The Kingdoms of The Sector Territory has been divided among the planets of The Sector. A trade route has been established between FPSB and Utopioca. Each kingdom's territory can be seen on the map below.
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# ? Dec 20, 2021 05:01 |
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The joyous Dutopians will be sending diplomatic envoys to Dunce and Chrisp. Surely we can house some dogs for the Chrisprs on our vast, enormous planet. There's so much space for them to roam. And maybe we can offer some water or moist gas or whatever it is that makes our planet so fabulously wealth to the desert dwelling Duncians. All that we ask is for free passage through your planets dotted red lines. And of course, we will need to continue shoring up our defenses for inevitable william incursions
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# ? Dec 20, 2021 05:22 |
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I made a soundtrack for this thread https://soundcloud.com/moonrisefandango/goonsector
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# ? Dec 20, 2021 05:38 |
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deep dish peat moss posted:
I don't snitch. If they show up in my neighborhood, I invite them to establish a shipping line and distribute this mysteriously glowing puppy chow across the universe!
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# ? Dec 20, 2021 05:54 |
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Utopioca sends diplomatic envoys to Chrisp and Dutopia in an attempt to establish a new hyper fast trade route with the latest in jumpgate technology. The route will extend to FPSB. Our envoys bring a sampling of the planet’s best pizza with the promise of delivery in 30 minutes or less once the trade route has been built. Secondly, our scientists begin researching a way to tame Spoctopus.
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# ? Dec 20, 2021 06:39 |
I never would have believed someone would hate quality luxury goods and Spaceweed of all things... Well, alright, it's time to get the Knowledge Dispenser 9000 out and see what comes out as far as military tech. Maybe we'll be even luckier and it'll have specs on these... Bluetopian vehicles to boot. I suppose I should have researched it earlier just in case...
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# ? Dec 20, 2021 15:00 |
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deep dish peat moss posted:Froggage uncovers the JUNC sector which actually was DUnC but changed for copyright reasons. It's a junky planet full of sand dunes named Dunce. You are trapped there Froggage, hahaha. *Frogge. I pretty much just uh wandered until I found civilization, smoked some space weed, and am now working on my tan. Whole planet is basically one bigass beach sans ocean. Didn't hear from me sooner because my galactic cell service reaaaaally sucks on JUNC.
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# ? Dec 20, 2021 18:58 |
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webysburg would like to propose trade routes with Chrisp and Chezzit - we can also facilitate trade between your nations for a small percentage of sales profit - we don't even do a % of cost - it's just off your profit. win win.
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# ? Dec 20, 2021 19:32 |
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A message is broadcast to the entire sector A clean and stately gentleman stands before the camera, in the middle of shoulder to shoulder crowds bustling around him performing normal activities of life. There is no room for dedicated diplomatic space on Chrisp it seems, and though the tightly packed streets of the capitol of lil sector appear claustrophobic this must be the status quo of this sectors daily life as this seems very regular and normal to the representatives and normal folk packed into the camera frame. Greetings my fellow governments of this newly colonized sector, the representatives of Chrisp are horrified at the news of the threats coming down upon our collective lands. The Spoctopus stands as our second greatest worry in these troubling times, and of course the coup on the Sector Selector Station weighs heavy on our minds. Trying times calls for bold action, and thus the Kingdom of Chrisp seek to solidify our treaties with our neighbors in order to establish stability in at least one corner of this tumultuous sector. Smugworth posted:The joyous Dutopians will be sending diplomatic envoys to Dunce and Chrisp. Surely we can house some dogs for the Chrisprs on our vast, enormous planet. There's so much space for them to roam. And maybe we can offer some water or moist gas or whatever it is that makes our planet so fabulously wealth to the desert dwelling Duncians. Sophy Wackles posted:Utopioca sends diplomatic envoys to Chrisp and Dutopia in an attempt to establish a new hyper fast trade route with the latest in jumpgate technology. The route will extend to FPSB. Our envoys bring a sampling of the planet’s best pizza with the promise of delivery in 30 minutes or less once the trade route has been built. The Walrus posted:webysburg would like to propose trade routes with Chrisp and Chezzit - we can also facilitate trade between your nations for a small percentage of sales profit - we don't even do a % of cost - it's just off your profit. win win. And now my fellow governments, I have a grave warning to issue to those who may underestimate the wolf amidst our sheep. There is a danger to our planets far greater than the grating wrath of the outside, and the peril we face is named Lilville... For too long this menace sits at our frontier doing what? enlarging the rest of our woes to twice as big thats what. The people of Lilville sit idly by doubling the impact of our inflation, doubling the interest of our loans, and strengthening the threats to our lands two-fold. What would cause this land of miniature to turn on us like this? Who is to say my fellow beings of this land, but Chrisp for one will not sit by and allow the threat of Lilville to decide to double the size of its fleet and invade our lands proper. The glorious and noble warriors of Chrisp seek communion with our brethren of the mysterious sector to squash the lilvites before they turncoat on our peoples and subjugate our lands under their tiny little boots. With help from the sector at large Chrisp can establish a provisional government at Lilville and thus the roaming lands of our dogs will double in size and this sector may finally know peace. Message ends, patriotic bagpipes play us out
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# ? Dec 20, 2021 20:52 |
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"Oh no, this won't do at all. The wart-like and war-like, boil-ish and bother-ish leaders of Chrisp are laying their troubles at our feet!" "Perhaps we can appease them? You cannot spell wart without art, a delivery of our finest air brushings celebrating Chrispian deeds!" "Agreed, for the sake of Lilvillans big and small I cannot give up on the possibility of peace so early. I understand the Chrispian's are rather fond of their Good Boys, commission seven birthday brushings from our most revered artists on the boardwalk. Enough for an entire year of Good Boy birthdays." "At once your largeness!" "And one more thing, bring me the communicator phone. I cannot give up on peace, but we must be willing to explore our other options." A formal delegation is sent to Frogge of Dunce bearing sunscreen, polarized shades and air brushed t-shirts that make him look ripped. All the finest offerings of our mighty boardwalk culture. Whybird please let me know how to contact you, I have a platinum gift certificate for you Blood Shart fucked around with this message at 22:42 on Dec 20, 2021 |
# ? Dec 20, 2021 21:57 |
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Delegations from Dutopia and Lilville arrives on DuNCe. Frogge: "...Whaddaya mean they're here for me? Can't you see I'm working on my tan?" Aide/local guide: "They arrived last night and were looking for you." Fr.: "I was either at the rave in the latest starship wreck or was already starting to sleep it off by then. Where did you say they were from, Lincoln Montana?" Aide/local guide Lincoln Montana: "From Lilville and Dutopia, some of the other sector lords, m'lord." Fr.: "You can cut it with the m'lord business. You lot decided to make me sector lord representing you. I'm just a shipwrecked tourist you found out in the sandy wastes." LM, sly grin but intense look on his eyes, "It doesn't matter who our sector lord is as long as we have someone filling that seat on our behalf to keep things official and searching eyes off of the freemans of the land. The ones not on the official census because they either didn't answer the door for our official census taker Jerry or ran him off with weapons and anger." Fr., getting the hint: "Right well what does the delegation want?" LM: "It appears that they have sent you a gift of some sort and want to establish relations. This might be a good opportunity to let the other Sector Lords know that we've got representation and leadership again and that we are ready to resume trade with the other worlds. There are also delegates from Dutopia" Fr.: "Sounds boring." LM: "Do you want us to keep supplying you with the best drugs, living, and whores DuNCe can provide or not? There are untold numbers of people on DuNCe that barely have a working moisture farm and mostly eke a living by beating each other's brains out over the bits of scrap that fall from the skies when our system's dangerous magnetic solar storms cause their starships to crash here. You easily could have fared far worse if you weren't an outsider that we needed." Fr.: "Point taken. I'll play ball." Lincoln Montana looks confused by the turn of phrase but figures it out from context and nods approvingly. Frogge gets up and goes into the palace, a carved rock and earthen structure adorned with fragments of ancient starship wrecks. Frogge wonders what is functional and what is simply a lack of other building supplies. He's seen dingier back at home and shrugs it off. At the entrance to the palace a pair of robed guards with spears snap to attention. Lincoln Montana speaks as one of his aides hands a digitablet to Frogge, "I've taken the trouble of translating our world's needs into your brutish galactic standard so you can busy the delegates. You can even invite them to the party tonight at the Sand-Chinchilla dunes." ... Frogge seated at a long table made of polished space armadillo shells, addressing the seated delegants: "Yes, it is I, Frogge of DuNCe, the rightful sector lord of this world. I appreciate your gifts of sunscreen, polarized shades, and hilariously awesome t-shirts. Perhaps before you depart this sandstone gem you'd like to accompany me to a festival we call Berneengmangs, a somber celebration of the brutality of life on a desert world such as this? I'm getting ahead of myself though, here is a list of DuNCe's needs and wants. Perhaps we can negotiate a fair trade?" Frogge then pushes a digitablet towards each the delegates with a smile. In broken galactic standard, it reads: "Welcome Fair Mans and Ladys of Lilville and Those of Dutopia, DuNCe wantz + more water and ice blocks DD At least 1,000mgtonnes[unit not in galactic database] per solar month?? + more suntan lotion and those reflective sun visors for air/land cars. )))~ ?? DuNCe will gives you + more cheap workers willing to work for 1DV19cek[error untranslatable]*. + more starship grease[galstandard word not found, closest approximation used herein and henceforth] so yous cans continue that fancy FTLs. *absolutely not an export of our uncounted political and religious fanat-109fjviaoi2[error untranslatable]. ))) Accept ? ))) :')')')') Deny ? :'('('('(" Frogge looks up at the delegates as he stands up, "I'll give you time to discuss this with your superiors back home. See you tonight at Berneengmans?" As he exits Conference Room C, Frogge is stopped from walking towards the royal garden/spaceweed grow-op by Lincoln Montana, holding a flat palm up, "Oh, right, the thing." Frogge shrugs and is led towards the communications array. An absolute fuccboi spaceraver appears. He has the air of someone from the privileged, wealthy, settled worlds- a strange sight to be seen coming from DuNCe. It is Frogge, dressed in traditional DuNCe garb standing before a podium. A variety of digital, analog, and holographic recording and transmission devices, all kitbashed together from found parts, aimed at him. His white and orange robes cover up the atmospheric and temperature life support equipment of his clothing. There are hoses and blinking lights that an outsider would not be able to tell if they are an aesthetic choice or functional. The face mask and hood are pulled off and hang at the side in the way of the locals on DuNCe, and not in the way typical of foreign aristocrats or dignitaries. Lincoln Montana's aide, Reptar, is taken aback by Frogge's preternatural attention to the local way. Perhaps he is the one to unite the clans of freemans of the land across DuNCe? Frogge begins to speak, reading from a holo-prompter. "Hello fellow sector lords, I am Frogge, the sector lord of DuNCe, For many a generation DuNCe has been seen as a dumping ground for your broken and shattered ships, much like a landfill, with little else to offer the sector except cheap labor and a depressing stop to stretch your legs and piss on the sand before moving on. That impression has gone on too long and hurt the people of DuNCe and the people of this sector. It is no secret that we are the poorest among worlds but it shouldn't be that way going forward. After briefly closing our borders due to internal concerns DuNCe will be resuming trade and diplomatic relations. Now open under new management! Come and see the mighty sand-whales! Bring credits and water!" Frogge looks over at Lincoln Montana, who is giving him two thumbs up. He continues reading from the holo-prompter, "Visit our shining capitol city, Junceen. With it's wonderful sand spa, historic starship museums, and gambling room. If city-life isn't your cup of space tea, we offer daily tours of the deep desert full of an exciting amount of sand. More sand than you thought possible! It's everywhere! Pet a sand-chinchilla, ride one! Just give us money, please!" The transmission ends. Frogge shrugs and says to Lincoln Montana, "Alright I'm going to get high and work on my tan. Do your thing." Reptar is still in awe. Is this new leader of his world the prophesied one and is disenfranchised by the cheap commodification of this world, or is it another pretender? The signs so far lead to the former. He will have to be tested to be certain. The following messages are sent with Frogge's DuNCe official seal: To: OMFG FURRY posted:Lord Voidus Biggus declares that all dogs are good boys and welcome on Lifestar. Any planet found to not respect dogs as Good Boys will be considered an enemy. frogge fucked around with this message at 00:31 on Dec 21, 2021 |
# ? Dec 21, 2021 00:26 |
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we get boat we get go posted:"Oh no, this won't do at all. The wart-like and war-like, boil-ish and bother-ish leaders of Chrisp are laying their troubles at our feet!" Oh wow that's super generous, thank you! Email me at prof.player486@gmail.com.
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# ? Dec 21, 2021 13:04 |
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Blucifer: Sir, I -- Max! Didn't I make it clear that I was not to be interrupted when I was wallowing in the suffering of the populace? Very painfully, Your Ghastliness. It's just that, well, the Peepers picked this up on the long range Meaniescope. Oh, how delightful! There's nothing like a few solid tentacles crushing the life out of a planet to bring a bit of misery and woe to a sector. Max, do make sure it has a warm, woeful welcome and anyone -- erm, anything -- it wants to eat. Blucifer is holding an official "welcome, planet-devouring octopus" ceremony, with blue bunting, weak lemon cordial, and stale cress sandwiches. Citizens are encouraged to welcome the octopus with traditional screams of anguish.
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# ? Dec 21, 2021 13:21 |
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A tall man with a full head of hair and fuller head of beard stands uneasily, grasping the edge of the hole in the hull of the ship that serves as his door for balance while speaking into a haphazardly constructed communicator. The settings sun(s) of DuNCe turn the sky a brilliant red making it hard to tell where the dunes of DuNCe meet the sky. A beautiful but dangerous world to be certain he thinks to himself while he awaits the connection of the other end of the communicator. "I have good news and bad news your Largeness." "Give me that bad news first..." "I showed them the tanning oil we use instead of this lotion they've asked for but have not yet heard back on that proposal, though they did take some to test. They have also asked for "sun visors", however when I showed them the sun visors that adorn our heads they were perplexed and insisted they wanted them for their vehicles. I told them we might be able to create something but when I showed them my admittedly rough designs the translators broke down due to an overwhelming number of insults." The mans gaze fixes on a crumbled and then smoothed piece of paper nearby depicting a crudely drawn flying vehicle with what can best be described as a hat drawn over top of it. "Worrying, I have heard of this Suntan Lotion before, the superstitious amongst our historians still believe our use of it is what called down the destruction of our first boardwalk. In time I hope they will see the benefit of our tanning oils instead but we can only help them find the path to a perfect tan they must walk it. And the good news?" "They have requested natural resources we can make in abundance! Water/ice to be specific, I imagine this will be no issue. We can ship only half of what they have requested from Lilville and it will be the full amount by the time it arrives. I have requested a small contingent of workers and an upfront shipment of space lube, which they refer to as star ship grease here, to offset the costs of mining and shipping." "Excellent work Delegate Blummer, but inform them we shall grant them double their requested amount. Lilville's abundance is to be shared with its allies, and by tying their survival to ours we can build an alliance against the verrucan element amongst the Chrisp." "On a personal note sir, I cannot wait to return to Lilville. Being so large is off-putting, the ground is too far from me and these doorways were not made for Lilvillan stature. Still DuNCe is gorgeous, we might want to explore building a boardwalk here, the people enjoy partying and I think there is much we could gain in a cultural exchange." "I shall broach the topic once our ice shipments arrive to them, surely once they see the benefits of Lilvillan friendship they would gladly grant us a space on their world to create an embassy." "I need to get going now, they've been kind enough to invite me to a celebration they call Berneengmans and I am rather interested in what it's all about." The communicator sparks and the call appears to end. Blummer lumbers forward, maintaining his balance on the crumbling and rusting walls of the wreckage that serves as his home and office for his stay on DuNCe.
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# ? Dec 21, 2021 19:24 |
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Fr., looking at the dossier provided by Lincoln Montana: "So there's this big Spoctopus floating around that might be looking to crunch down on planets?" LM: "Yes, your grace. And a van with an engine slapped on it." Fr.,: "Well. That van might wind up wrecking here. Keep an eye out for it. Probably has valuable metals in it. As for the Spoctopus- good thing this world's just sand, tar pits, rocks, and starship wreckage. Can't imagine the Spoctopus would have a taste for all of that." LM: "Indeed." Fr.: "Hey Lincoln-" LM: "Yes?" Fr.: "Do you think if there's more than one Spoctopus we'll be calling them Spoctopi or Spoctopusses?" LM, rolling eyes: "This is why you're the Sector Lord. That's above my pay scale." Fr.: "So is, uh, there any more for me or can I go to the rave?" LM: "The delegates from Lilville have accepted our trade deal." Fr.: "Cool cool cool. So rave time?" LM, under his breath, "Hopefully we get another shipwrecked tourist..." Fr.: "What's that?" LM: "Nothing. Go have fun."
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# ? Dec 22, 2021 03:29 |
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# ? May 16, 2024 04:45 |
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Sorry everyone I have spent the last 2 days at the vet hospital with my cat who has a condition that made his hip joint atrophy, and we are finally all done with that for now and back at home. I have some doodles I've been workin' on for all of this that I will post when I can
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# ? Dec 22, 2021 03:37 |