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I tried doin some work as a truck driver! Boy I tell ya. Drove all night didn't get a wink of sleep, and accidentally drove right past where I was supposed to go! Turns out while I was busy stayin awake, I overschlepped! It aint easy, folks! *adjusts tie*
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Dec 28, 2021 21:11
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| # ? May 11, 2024 11:49 |
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How about them lot lizards, eh folks? Hachi machi, WOW! *tugs collar*
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Dec 28, 2021 21:15
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Why do I drive on a parkway and park on a driveway!?!? *Vomits in cup*
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Dec 28, 2021 21:16
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Hey if coconut oil is made out of coconuts what's babyoil made of?? *hits self with hammer*
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Dec 28, 2021 22:02
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Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:Hey if coconut oil is made out of coconuts what's babyoil made of?? Babies? 
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Dec 28, 2021 22:04
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Truck driver stupid lol
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Dec 28, 2021 22:37
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signalnoise posted:I tried doin some work as a truck driver! Boy I tell ya. Drove all night didn't get a wink of sleep, and accidentally drove right past where I was supposed to go! Turns out while I was busy stayin awake, I overschlepped! It aint easy, folks! Why would a truck driver be wearing a tie? And not taking a whole mess of speed to stay up? This isn't adding up.
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Dec 28, 2021 22:41
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Outrail posted:Why would a truck driver be wearing a tie? And not taking a whole mess of speed to stay up? This isn't adding up. That's the problem with a truck driver's wages folks, I TELL YA IT AINT EASY THESE DAYS oh boy... nothin adds up no more I tell ya. These days I can't afford uppers and downers at the same time, so I gotta take the bump of coke and try to balance it out with a little asphyxiation and hope I don't choke myself out at the wheel. Talk about a bad way to fall on your keys! *sips from a glass of clear liquid that may or may not be water*
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Dec 28, 2021 23:04
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It ain't easy to get to heaven when you're going down
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Dec 28, 2021 23:05
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What was the original purpose of a bow tie? To make your voice a little present to the world? Is it to keep the top of your shirt closed?
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Dec 28, 2021 23:08
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Spaghett posted:What was the original purpose of a bow tie? To make your voice a little present to the world? Is it to keep the top of your shirt closed? So your tie doesn’t pull you into industrial machinery.
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Dec 28, 2021 23:10
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Sophy Wackles posted:So your tie doesn’t pull you into industrial machinery. I tell ya, these neckties, I tell ya. I was working in a factory and a guy had one of the long kind, and he got sucked right in! He was always going on about it saying the tie grinds his gears, but I'm the one who ended up with a bone to pick! It ain't easy folks *sweats horizontally*
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Dec 28, 2021 23:24
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I was going down on this lady's pussy and she was going all "ohh ahh" but no matter how much I was slobbering all over that stank hole she just would not have an orgasm. It ain't always as easy as it looks. *tugs at dick*
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Dec 28, 2021 23:24
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signalnoise posted:I tell ya, these neckties, I tell ya. I was working in a factory and a guy had one of the long kind, and he got sucked right in! He was always going on about it saying the tie grinds his gears, but I'm the one who ended up with a bone to pick! It ain't easy folks I legit lol'd
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Dec 28, 2021 23:25
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truckin in my yeezies
ErrorInvalidUser fucked around with this message at 23:30 on Dec 28, 2021 |
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Dec 28, 2021 23:28
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Spaghett posted:I legit lol'd Thank you, I'll be here all week, don't forget to tip your server
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Dec 28, 2021 23:28
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*snnnrk* I tell ya folks, they call this stuff “speed” but it sure as hell don’t make traffic go any faster! *snnnnnnnnnnrt*
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Dec 28, 2021 23:29
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What you need is some cheap hot snacks
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Dec 28, 2021 23:34
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Folks I tell ya I tried everything to turn it around. The other day I went to a fortune teller. Buddy of mine said this one's the real deal, helped him big time. I go see em and they tell me they can't help me. I say what whattaya mean, aren't you supposed to read my future? They start trying to sell me a starter kit. I tell ya folks it ain't easy *manifests a living donut*
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Dec 28, 2021 23:37
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great big cardboard tube posted:What you need is some cheap hot snacks Bags Fly at Noon posted:How about them lot lizards, eh folks? Hachi machi, WOW!
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Dec 29, 2021 00:27
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If only I'd known when I woke up that I'd be fired and divorced before lunch, I tells ya, I'd have just gone back to bed. Ha chachachacha
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Dec 29, 2021 02:11
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Chilichimp posted:If only I'd known when I woke up that I'd be fired and divorced before lunch, I tells ya, I'd have just gone back to bed. Reminds me of my third wife. Tried runnin a business with her, which is to say she was my boss. I kept askin her why I didn't get a raise after my metrics were good, but she'd always dodge the question. Never told me what number was too low, just said I couldn't get it up. I tells ya it's never easy
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Dec 29, 2021 02:29
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Please check in with lot lizard scene reports from time to time
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Dec 29, 2021 02:49
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Ey, I just had a run-in with the law, and lemme tell ya, my insurance ain't gonna cover this!
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Dec 29, 2021 03:05
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Big Beef City posted:Ey, I just had a run-in with the law, and lemme tell ya, my insurance ain't gonna cover this! Post/avatar combo
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Dec 29, 2021 17:10
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ClamdestineBoyster posted:Babies? yes that was the implication 
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Dec 29, 2021 17:21
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Chilichimp posted:Post/avatar combo I don't actually know who my avatar is
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Dec 29, 2021 17:24
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Pretty sure it's Ray charles
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Dec 29, 2021 17:28
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Big Beef City posted:I don't actually know who my avatar is I tried using the Internet to look poo poo up! Buddy, I tell ya what. Tried to find a sumbitch dying hard for the third time, wound up in snuff porn full of gaping assholes. Turns out my dick has a mind of its own! It ain't easy, folks.
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Dec 29, 2021 17:35
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Line em up
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Dec 29, 2021 17:56
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5'ed, liked and 'scribed
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Dec 29, 2021 18:47
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i think it's jeremy irons in a sexy movie
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Dec 29, 2021 18:48
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funny comment about BALLS
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Dec 29, 2021 18:56
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I've been trying to assemble this Kinder Surprise toy for 20 minutes. Kids are crying
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Dec 29, 2021 18:57
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You think you got cryin' kids huh? You shoulda seen me as a kid. Oh man, it just aint easy I tells ya. Back when I was a little kid, the doctor tells me I need some kinda work on me or I'm gonna die! Or at least some part of me needed cuttin' out I guess. Anyway, I ended up having to save up for my own operation! I've never been great at savin' money, folks. Ended up havin' to get some discount work from the doc, so part of me is dead, but it's all inside. *separates matryoshkaly*
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Dec 29, 2021 19:34
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A truck is just a mobile home filled with cheap Chinese garbage that's still in the package instead of scattered on the floor
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Dec 29, 2021 19:38
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Holy moly this quicksand really complicates things
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Dec 29, 2021 19:59
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at least you get respect OP
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Dec 29, 2021 20:20
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Neophyte posted:at least you get respect OP Lemme tell ya, the last time I got respec'd, I ended up with a lovely build and lost my girlfriend. Oh what? Oh, oh nevermind, no.
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Dec 30, 2021 00:12
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| # ? May 11, 2024 11:49 |
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signalnoise posted:I tried doin some work as a truck driver! Boy I tell ya. Drove all night didn't get a wink of sleep, and accidentally drove right past where I was supposed to go! Turns out while I was busy stayin awake, I overschlepped! It aint easy, folks! 
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Dec 30, 2021 00:21
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