|
All right I've run the numbers on this, and my central thesis is this: assuming you're on earth at sea level, the average fart composition is lighter than air and exerts a measurable buoyancy effect like helium in a balloon. Ok nobody's farting helium but you do fart methane, which is MUCH lighter than air and plus you can light it on fire when you fart for a cool trick to show mom. But I bet if you farted out helium it would sound hilarious. Here's my math:
That means you GAIN 8mg of weight every time you blast rear end.
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 01:20
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 19, 2024 10:08 |
|
|
You're assuming that expelling it changes your outward volume. Consider that the helium is compressed inside your voluminous rear end, so it is not actually displacing any air. Getting rid of it makes you lighter. edit: before it is freed as a gas, it is part of a compound amongst the three dozen hardboiled eggs you eat every day (see a doctor)
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 01:22
|
|
|
Did you even read my post I said we dont fart helium, but I bet if you were able to somehow fart out a blast of sulfur hexafluoride your fart would sound real deep like a loving trombone
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 01:25
|
|
|
Yeah sorry methane, but the premise holds
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 01:26
|
|
|
Allright mister my rear end cavity can compress methane
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 01:26
|
|
|
Sooo if you boof helium, your farts will be extra funny?
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 01:27
|
|
|
Colonel Cancer posted:Sooo if you boof helium, your farts will be extra funny?
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 01:27
|
|
|
Colonel Cancer posted:Sooo if you boof helium, your farts will be extra funny? Is it funnier if it sounds like an angry chihuahua, or a sad trombone? PLz vote
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 01:29
|
|
|
You never stated what volume of sea level air is 0.0459g.
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 10:08
|
|
|
That was my first post of the year.
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 10:10
|
|
|
Wait, the average is 14 farts per day? I need to go to a fart doctor.
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 10:11
|
|
|
Justa Dandelion posted:Wait, the average is 14 farts per day? I need to go to a fart doctor. Are you over or under?
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 12:57
|
|
|
i think deeper, sulphur hexafluoride farts, would be funnier it'd be pretty funny if we farted out halogens because they're coloured and visible
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 13:00
|
|
|
this is a great excuse for why i'm fat, thanks op
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 13:25
|
|
|
Chrs posted:Are you over or under? He does exactly 14. He's going to a doctor to brag.
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 13:26
|
|
|
Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:it'd be pretty funny if we farted out halogens because they're coloured and visible Whadaya mean if? Farts aren't supposed to be a green cloud of gas that turns ominously skull shaped? Uh oh.
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 13:55
|
|
|
oh my god
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 14:18
|
|
|
The amount of liquid released with my farts weighs a shitload more than 8mg.
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 14:37
|
|
|
Chrs posted:Are you over or under? Over. Way over.
|
|
#
?
Jan 2, 2022 16:21
|
|
|
The Law of Conservation of Gas
|
|
#
?
Jan 2, 2022 16:21
|
|
|
Do you think you could do like a reverse fart where you suck atmosphere directly into your rear end in a top hat? I sure hope so! Coining "traf"
|
|
#
?
Jan 2, 2022 16:22
|
|
|
Imagine having diarrhea for the first time and freaking out and putting it in a bag and taking it to ER because your poo is broke.
|
|
#
?
Jan 2, 2022 17:05
|
|
|
but you lose mass. hth op.
|
|
#
?
Jan 2, 2022 17:41
|
|
|
What about nitrous oxide? Should I be using this in my calculations when boofing whip-its How should I factor in the use of heavy whipping cream whipped directly into my rectum Is this what's meant by "get your weight up" signalnoise fucked around with this message at 18:44 on Jan 2, 2022 |
|
#
?
Jan 2, 2022 18:41
|
|
|
I always wondered why this person spit into a can. Who can tyou wrestle that wheight matters that much? ... Nevermind!
|
|
#
?
Jan 2, 2022 18:53
|
|
|
Would having certain non human gasses in your rectum potentially kill you?
|
|
#
?
Jan 2, 2022 20:44
|
|
|
solar energy panel posted:Would having certain non human gasses in your rectum potentially kill you? Depends on the gas and the amount. a little bit? probably not.
|
|
#
?
Jan 2, 2022 21:04
|
|
|
you gotta account for the weight of the tiny poop particles that blast out with the gas
|
|
#
?
Jan 2, 2022 21:05
|
|
|
I mean it might make you infinitesimally less bouyant in this dumb atmosphere we're swimming through, but farting DOES make you less massive, so  
|
|
#
?
Jan 2, 2022 23:12
|
|
|
He who smelt it, dealt it thus: The weight has moved souls, unless; One who inhales said fart, a shameful individual.
|
|
#
?
Jan 3, 2022 04:47
|
|
|
Chrs posted:Are you over or under? i fart exactly 14 times a day but they are each about 6 - 12 seconds long
|
|
#
?
Jan 3, 2022 04:49
|
|
|
Other day I really couldn't stop farting. Took a dump and it was still going on after.
|
|
#
?
Jan 3, 2022 04:50
|
|
|
if this theorem is true, would it be possible to eat so many beans that i have such a huge fart that i gain so much mass that i collapse into a black hole?
|
|
#
?
Jan 3, 2022 04:52
|
|
|
Mozi posted:if this theorem is true, would it be possible to eat so many beans that i have such a huge fart that i gain so much mass that i collapse into a black hole? ask nasa to use the James Webb space telescope to explore the deep reaches of your moms vagina and perhaps we will have a better understanding
|
|
#
?
Jan 3, 2022 04:54
|
|
|
FARD and consequently SHID
|
|
#
?
Jan 3, 2022 04:57
|
|
|
finally they can probe the mysteries of the first moments after the Big Queef
|
|
#
?
Jan 3, 2022 04:57
|
|
|
Mozi posted:if this theorem is true, would it be possible to eat so many beans that i have such a huge fart that i gain so much mass that i collapse into a black hole? No, beans create fart gas, so if you eat enough beans but don't fart you get lighter than air and float around. Of course, you'd rupture your stomach before getting anywhere near that point.
|
|
#
?
Jan 3, 2022 04:59
|
|
|
daily average fart volume is easily 7-8L, not 0.5
|
|
#
?
Jan 3, 2022 05:12
|
|
|
hell astro course posted:but you lose mass. hth op. Rip rear end, lose mass.
|
|
#
?
Jan 3, 2022 05:44
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 19, 2024 10:08 |
|
|
Have a friend fart directly into your mouth and then swallow it to cancel out the effect.
|
|
#
?
Jan 3, 2022 06:40
|
|
