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Crits for week 492, abbreviated because my brain is tired Ceighk - Death and the Cat and the Maiden I wanted to DQ this one because it has a human in it. You're lucky the other judges were in better moods! But next time, read the prompt properly. sparksbloom - Foraging This was poignant, and stuck with me afterwards, but the ending felt like it was missing something. I was expecting the eggs to be phoenix eggs. flerp - Songs at the End It didn't feel like anything really mattered in this, which is strange because it's a life or death situation at the end of the world and yet... its all "meh"? Chairchucker - Maybe I Should Rebrand to Reduce Confusion* Light and made me chuckle, but so you've got that going for you. yeah ok ok yeah - Sea Otter and the Mountain I described this to my fellow judges as reminding me of a Just So Story, one of those shorts where there's a mythos you can tap into if you want to, or you can just enjoy an animal being an animal. And as to throwing the rock.... well, sometimes animals destroy things for no reason, ya know? Sitting Here - Portulaca Oleracea Just a big ol'  Hawklad - Endosymbiont Ew. But i'll say, you at least put effort into grossing us out. Could have done with a proof-read before you submitted it, and making the relationship between the different parasites clearer. Nae - A Cars Fanfic for Beezus I liked that this was an actual story. But is "oil in her gas tank" a Porsche thing? Thranguy - Constellation Have you read 17776? I didn't get what the ending was supposed to signify. Captain_Indigo - The Scarecrow Sentinel I'm sorry, but my eyes just slid off this one every time I tried to read it. I don't know why, and when I eventually did read it it was fine, but something at the beginning put my brain in "this is gonna be boring, don't read it" mode. ChickenOfTomorrow fucked around with this message at 01:57 on Jan 14, 2022 |
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Jan 14, 2022 01:54
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| # ¿ May 16, 2024 22:13 |
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I am in like a very... in.... thing.
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Jan 25, 2022 20:05
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Inspirational Action 468 words My muse is withholding, and I'm going to pieces. When she worked with me, I had everything. Success, fame, money. Words tumbled out of me - prose, poetry, speeches, lyrics, every one a banger. I bought a condo on the fourth floor with a balcony view of five identical condo buildings, and a second-hand compact car that I parked in my reserved spot and never used. Now, ten hours before my latest deadline, I sit down at the computer with my fingers on the keyboard, try to ignore the scrambled hissing in my head, and let 'er rip: "The sunlight flowed down the mountain slopes like a raw egg cracked over a bowl of rice." Jesus Christ. I take the stairs down to the street two at a time. She's standing out on the sidewalk outside with a bunch of other muses in robes and laurel wreaths. She won't even look at me, instead sending over a well-built man with a gold pinky ring. I look past his head and stare at her back as he talks. He takes his time to circle around the topic, throwing out platitudes about respect and relationships while I focus my gaze into gimlets, hoping I can needle her into turning around. He gets my attention by thrusting a clipboard into my hands. "This is not a matter of you not worshiping her. This is a matter of you not respecting your muse as a person or a worker, and of your committing multiple violations of labor law. I am here as a representative of Amalgamated Demigods Local 444 to present to you our conditions for an end to this strike action." Jesus Christ. I take the clipboard and slouch back indoors. She turns her head a little as I walk past, which I take as a positive sign. I drum my fingers on the countertop and stare at the clipboard. I mean, she has a point. She's been my muse for years, and I don't think I've ever even thanked her. I take the stairs one at a time, to give myself longer to think. But when I reach the sidewalk, my mind's still blank. I clear my throat, and she turns towards me. "I..." I stare into her eyes and fall to my knees, bowing my head to kiss her sandaled feet. The static in my head begins to pulse like text message interference. "I am so sorry." I can feel the words dancing on the tip of my tongue. Raising my head, I see her smile, and I have never felt so blessed. "I agree to all your conditions, Goddess. I pledge to worship you with my heart, my soul, and every word I write." She reaches down, takes my hand, and leads me back indoors.
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Jan 31, 2022 02:04
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In! Location and weirdos please.
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Mar 8, 2022 19:35
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