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Since I and undoubtedly many others have just rubbed one out to you, you've definitely now had sex in our new digital age. On a serious note, volunteer at your local animal shelter. A) You'll be helping your local community, B) it's disproportionately women who you can have a ready made common interest in (if that's your thing), C) it's somewhat easy to have small conversations over several months to build casual friendships without a big agenda, D) if the urge to be alone takes over you can easily excuse yourself to care for the next pet, E) it gets you out of the house so you can get a bit of exercise and have a reason to do the basic hygiene stuff like showering on the regular You'll likely make a lot of casual friendships with people who also likely feel as awkward as you do. Plus, if you decide to lean into your virgin status, you can start shopping for your cats early as you transition into Crazy Cat Guy.
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Jan 9, 2022 15:24
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OP while this may be a tough pill to swallow I do have some good news to share. Based on decades of research and experimentation, I have determined it is possible to obtain what I call the "male orgasm" through various methods not requiring the presence of another human being. I'm selling a pamphlet on the subject if you are interested.
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Jan 9, 2022 15:28
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syntaxfunction posted:Hey, Alan is back! Hi Alan I just want intimacy
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Jan 9, 2022 15:37
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Ape Agitator posted:Since I and undoubtedly many others have just rubbed one out to you, you've definitely now had sex in our new digital age. holy poo poo. you did your homework.
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Jan 9, 2022 15:38
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syntaxfunction posted:Hey, Alan is back! Hi Alan Yeah, this is true. I had to think about it for a bit, and I realize I've been celibate for 16 years. I'm not really missing the hassle because there is a lot of other more urgent things I need to sort out.
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Jan 9, 2022 15:39
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Valko posted:Yeah, this is true. I had to think about it for a bit, and I realize I've been celibate for 16 years. I'm not really missing the hassle because there is a lot of other more urgent things I need to sort out. that's just because our sex drive expired lol
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Jan 9, 2022 15:41
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Alan 00X posted:honestly my drive is pretty low I don't even want to have sex on the regular now. I just focus on the heart This is cause your fat. Drop 40lbs and you'll be raring to go again.
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Jan 9, 2022 15:52
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Mozi posted:OP while this may be a tough pill to swallow I do have some good news to share. Based on decades of research and experimentation, I have determined it is possible to obtain what I call the "male orgasm" through various methods not requiring the presence of another human being. I'm selling a pamphlet on the subject if you are interested. samart link please
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Jan 9, 2022 16:09
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just became a virgin and feeling great!
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Jan 9, 2022 16:12
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ChunTheUnavoidable posted:just became a virgin and feeling great! congrats?
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Jan 9, 2022 16:13
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syntaxfunction posted:Hey, Alan is back! Hi Alan Ricky told me if you don't have sex your balls will explode killing dozens of innocent bystanders so I'm not sure who to belive here.
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Jan 9, 2022 16:19
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Sex is good but it's not the real thing (jackin your dork is).
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Jan 9, 2022 16:20
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That's not what ive heard about alan 00x, that guy slays erry day of the week
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Jan 9, 2022 17:12
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Line em up
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Jan 9, 2022 17:16
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What wizard power did you get?
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Jan 9, 2022 17:24
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OP here is my honest suggestion and I promise you if you just do these things you will be happier and get the confidence to talk to more people in no time. A lot of social anxieties come from lack of confidince in my opinion. 1. Drink More Water - get a sodastream to make it sparkling and drink minimum 4L a day. This helps with every single thing in terms of keeping your body running properly. 2. Shower or bathe daily but don't wash your face with soap ever (give a good rinse), and don't shampoo every day - I like to have a long bath every night where I smoke some weed and watch Mythbusters on my phone, it's relaxing and helps me get some good thinking done often as well. 3. Cook for yourself, and learn to like vegetables - cooking is actually pretty fun and easy and it's easy to make really tasty stuff from scratch. Try cooking some chicken thighs under your broiler and pairing with some roasted broccoli and sweet potatoes (make sure you are seasoning everything - meat and veg both! get some good spice mixes and or buy some crispy chili oil or something like that - or just hot sauce works too). Make a sauce by sauteeing some garlic, then adding ketchup soy sauce and honey. Easy healthy and delicious. The Good Eats series by Alton Brown is a great starting point for learning some basic techniques and how to think about food. You might not like vegetables now but I promise you, start with getting a bit of veg in the bite with your meat and starch and just chew it all at once. Before long you'll be mowing whole broccoli pieces no problem. 4. Exercise for an hour a day. Doesn't need to be strenuous. Start with going for a 45 minute walk (at a moderate or quick pace if you can) and then getting home and just doing as many pushups and situps as you can. once a day. do those 4 things and you life will improve hugely I guarantee you.
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Jan 9, 2022 17:25
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They make blowjob machines now
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Jan 9, 2022 17:30
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Good job on discovering the laws of physics
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Jan 9, 2022 17:33
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Nice neckbeard, I bet the ladies love it.
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Jan 9, 2022 17:33
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Distance yourself from the anime. That'll help. A lot.
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Jan 9, 2022 17:35
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cool me too. just had my 35th birthday a week ago and ive more or less given up on ever losing it at this point. the good news is that the pills i started last year have basically killed my sex drive so now at least it doesnt bother me as much as it used to!
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Jan 9, 2022 17:35
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im going to have sex with all the virgins in this thread.
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Jan 9, 2022 17:40
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op, to put it quite simply, bitches ain't poo poo but hoes and tricks
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Jan 9, 2022 17:40
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I’ve never tried their methods but I hear that there are a lot of so-called “Pick Up Artists” online who might be able to help you get knee-deep in some gash.
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Jan 9, 2022 19:06
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Lol drat king. Covid been rough on you. You posted pics a few years ago and weren't nearly that fat
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Jan 9, 2022 19:09
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What the hell is that on your head
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Jan 9, 2022 19:13
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Oh nm it's your face
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Jan 9, 2022 19:14
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ChunTheUnavoidable posted:im going to have sex with all the virgins in this thread. Not something I'd brag about.
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Jan 9, 2022 19:22
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Outrail posted:Not something I'd brag about. It's an act of service you cad https://www.mylondon.news/news/uk-world-news/i-help-disabled-people-lose-21357388 quote:“There isn’t a job title for me,” Beverlee Lewis confesses.
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Jan 9, 2022 20:01
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i think your problem is the cat ears tbh
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Jan 9, 2022 20:06
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Ive had sex before 
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Jan 9, 2022 20:08
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Smugworth posted:It's an act of service you cad Prostitute/Therapist... Prostapist? Therastiute? Prorapist?
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Jan 9, 2022 20:16
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My suggestion is to find a woman who is also unappealing and in a state of despair about it and get drunk together. Things should work themselves out from there, OP.
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Jan 9, 2022 20:40
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Meme Poker Party posted:My suggestion is to find a woman who is also unappealing and in a state of despair about it and get drunk together. Things should work themselves out from there, OP. Not sure manufactured questionable consent situation drunk sex is really what OP is looking for But then I don't know him
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Jan 9, 2022 20:54
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In my opinion the best part about having sex is when you cum but seeing the naked lady is also very good
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Jan 9, 2022 20:55
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Nooner posted:In my opinion the best part about having sex is when you cum but seeing the naked lady is also very good This guy knows what's up
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Jan 9, 2022 20:58
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Do one of those special porn star deals where they take your virginity on camera.
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Jan 9, 2022 20:58
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unknown butthole posted:Do one of those special porn star deals where they take your virginity on camera. Doors HBO still do the bunny ranch show because they seem nice
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Jan 9, 2022 20:59
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You can simulate the experience by jerking off with a buddy.
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Jan 9, 2022 21:03
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Buy an expensive prostate massager and focus on developing your wizardly powers
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Jan 9, 2022 21:04
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