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Franz Kafka's Metamorphosis: rotting garbage or you get pelted with apples, your pick.
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Jan 12, 2022 17:38
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Menstrual restaurant: serves meals heavy on tomato sauce, strawberry jam, blood sausage, etc Myers-Briggs restaurant: one set menu and one table offered per personality type. You must sit with your fellow four-letter diners.
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Jan 12, 2022 17:38
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A steak restaurant where it all seems fine, but then when they bring out your steak it's actually a "stake" and the waiters all get out their phones and film you getting angry that you've been ripped off, and they're like, "it's just a prank bro hahaha", filming and laughing for ages
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Jan 12, 2022 17:41
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Burger King
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Jan 12, 2022 17:45
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Le Dank Meme: this restaurant is sadly doomed to appear someday. There's no stopping it.
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Jan 12, 2022 17:46
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Boston Market
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Jan 12, 2022 17:51
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I'd like to see a restaurant similar to the Sushi Train concept but with a super amped up train. I want it to feel like the wild west and you're trying to catch a speeding train only you're trying to catch our delicious Sizzlin' Steam Train Fajitas as they travel by at over 50 miles an hour. And be careful, they're HOT!
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Jan 12, 2022 17:53
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a restaurant where you pre-order your food six months to a year ahead of time and all the ingredients are grown personally for you
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Jan 12, 2022 17:55
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a theme restauraunt based around the tables being wobbly and needing to ask the waitstaff for some sugar packets to put underneath. at the end of your meal they put a marble on the table and if it doesn't roll off you get 5% off your bill
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Jan 12, 2022 17:55
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A slop of the make up and consistency of KFC famous bowls is kept in a trough. With your buffet purchase you are given a bib only and are left to root around the trough unless you pay extra for napkins, spoons, forks, plates, bowls etc. Very special clientele can buy a subscription with a personalized bib and spork hung on the wall and retrieved for you when you visit. When you return your VIP bib and spork they aren't washed, just put back on the wall.
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Jan 12, 2022 17:56
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Rube Tuesday's. All the dishes are cooked and served by means of complex machinery.
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Jan 12, 2022 17:59
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A bakery with all their bread and deserts in a display case up front. None of them are labeled, there is no menu, and the clerks are very exacting on what they understand. You have to exactly ask for what the food is called or they will tell you they don't have any. If you point they berate you for acting like a child and request you use your big boy or big girl words to make your order.
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Jan 12, 2022 18:05
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Decoy Badger posted:There's a big titty anime girl streamed into a monitor in each anonymous eating booth that "eats" with you, and each plate you take off the conveyor gets you a thanks and compliment. The daily special is rebranded as her favourite, and gets you double the relationship points. Also there's a slot machine where you can pay for random additional parasocial interactions. Another restaurant where you watch the patrons of this restaurant from above through a two-way mirror.
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Jan 12, 2022 18:06
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zedprime posted:A bakery with all their bread and deserts in a display case up front. None of them are labeled, there is no menu, and the clerks are very exacting on what they understand. You have to exactly ask for what the food is called or they will tell you they don't have any. If you point they berate you for acting like a child and request you use your big boy or big girl words to make your order. ah I see you've been to paris
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Jan 12, 2022 18:08
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Kefir and Loathing Imagine a Starbucks run, except you get your drink from a rundown Chinese restaurant with visible burn damage and sanitation issues. The drinks are handed to you in crumpled paper bags. They do offer free taxi service to and from the desert where you eventually end up. The bad part is they don't serve food?
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Jan 12, 2022 18:13
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A cafeteria where you immediately go up to the second floor on an escalator and the buffets, counters, and check out are on the second floor and the exit and seating area are on the first floor and the only way down after you pay is a fireman's pole.
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Jan 12, 2022 18:21
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David Cronenburger King
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Jan 12, 2022 18:25
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Grumblepuff posted:Poutine on the Ritz Gravy and cheese curds on stale crackers. Just like dad used to make (after the divorce)
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Jan 12, 2022 18:26
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syntaxfunction posted:I absolutely would buy a kebab at the Food Hole. My favourite early morning kebab place closed years ago Sorry dude, every town should have a Food Hole.
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Jan 12, 2022 18:29
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Its like a restaurant but after you order instead of bringing you your food some guy with COVID just comes over and coughs on you a bunch!!
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Jan 12, 2022 18:32
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Okay get this. The restaurant is called Mealbarrows and it's a garden themed restaurant. All the tables are Very Long and covered in astroturf, they look like a Hornby train set, with little models and sheds. The waiter puts down a small amount of food far away from you in a tiny wheelbarrow and wheels it across the table, through the model 'garden'. When they get to your plate they dump it out like you would with a full size wheelbarrow. Repeat until all the ingredients are on the plate. Instead of utensils you have to use a full size spade and garden fork.
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Jan 12, 2022 18:35
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A Kent State themed campus bakery called, "Four Bread In Ohio"
Bonzo fucked around with this message at 18:56 on Jan 12, 2022 |
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Jan 12, 2022 18:44
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like the place where you throw peanut shells on the floor, but instead its crawfish.
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Jan 12, 2022 18:49
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A "breastaurant" but with twinks instead. id call it "Randy Bottom's Watering Hole"
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Jan 12, 2022 18:52
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a fish restaurant but the twist is they drop you into a tank of piranhas and it turns out YOU were the food, and the FISH were the customers
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Jan 12, 2022 18:54
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numberoneposter posted:A "breastaurant" but with twinks instead. Pity the Mancave is taken.
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Jan 12, 2022 19:00
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A restaurant where food is served in a plaster cast of the cook's mouth and you have to slurp the food out of it.  https://twitter.com/hels/status/1468668770583560195?t=N0iJYMf9_txsBwc5aAQQIQ&s=19
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Jan 12, 2022 19:02
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A restaurant where the food is randomly bobbing around in a big water tank. You go "fishing" with magnets on fishing rods and hope to get something good. Look honey! I got the Lobster! And I only used a $7 magnet! What a deal!
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Jan 12, 2022 19:03
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Panic! At The Tesco posted:a fish restaurant but the twist is they drop you into a tank of piranhas and it turns out YOU were the food, and the FISH were the customers No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to dine.
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Jan 12, 2022 19:07
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You make your own food at home but you log into the Zoom Restaurant to eat it. They put you in a breakout room and every 10 minutes the server comes in to ask you if everything is to your liking. Then they bill you on Venmo when you leave the meeting.
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Jan 12, 2022 19:10
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PookBear posted:like the place where you throw peanut shells on the floor, but instead its crawfish. its supposed to be bad ideas. ____________________________________________________________________ ok the restauraunt is called KONCEPT and when you walk in you are not greeted by anyone you need to just find an open table if there is one, you won't have a waiter you just need to ask the table next to you to pass a message to the kitchen to order. if your order makes it to the kitchen and they have the dish you asked for, at some point in the future you will potentially get it but you need to pay before, it's a critique of capitalism. we have 100m in venture capital funding. KONCEPT.
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Jan 12, 2022 19:13
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Dennys 2
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Jan 12, 2022 19:14
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Mozi posted:a restaurant where you pre-order your food six months to a year ahead of time and all the ingredients are grown personally for you my competing restaurant will have you reserve your table ten years in advance so the table and chairs can be grown from seed for you
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Jan 12, 2022 19:15
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A restaurant called "home." with the subtitle "Playful, Community Driven, Inspired, Bold"
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Jan 12, 2022 19:17
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A Chinese restaurant but you get to eat at the table with the owner's kid who is doing homework in the part of the restaurant that still has the giant rear projection TV (that doesn't work) that was left by the previous owners when it was a sports bar.
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Jan 12, 2022 19:20
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Perfect Strangers You are paired with a perfect stranger to sit with. You can order, but you will receive an order that another perfect stranger in the restaurant ordered. You will pay a third perfect stranger's bill. As you walk out the door, Bronson Pinchot and Mark Linn-Baker kick you square in the dick and/or tits. The Perfect Strangers themes plays as you are wheeled to a perfect stranger's car without keys.
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Jan 12, 2022 19:26
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Bonzo posted:A Chinese restaurant but you get to eat at the table with the owner's kid who is doing homework in the part of the restaurant that still has the giant rear projection TV (that doesn't work) that was left by the previous owners when it was a sports bar. Can we help the kid with their homework and do I need to know how the new math works?
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Jan 12, 2022 19:26
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Outrail posted:Can we help the kid with their homework and do I need to know how the new math works? The child will only stare blankly at you. If that makes you uncomfortable, you can sit at the table with his older brother who will ignore you while he plays games on this cell phone.
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Jan 12, 2022 19:31
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A restaurant where the bill costs $70 per person and the food is extremely bland, but there's an arena in the center of the restaurant where people dress like medieval knights and joust and sword fight each other while you eat. Also the restaurant is shaped like an English castle.
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Jan 12, 2022 19:34
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| # ? May 3, 2024 08:02 |
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Bonzo posted:The child will only stare blankly at you. If that makes you uncomfortable, you can sit at the table with his older brother who will ignore you while he plays games on this cell phone.
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Jan 12, 2022 19:36
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