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Jan 28, 2022 19:27
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I haven't gotten a raise in 7 years and they just got rid of my 401(k) but check this out: they just unlocked the ability for my avatar to hold the Infinity Gauntlet! Holy freaking crap.
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Jan 28, 2022 19:28
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My company made an NFT of my avatar and sold it for $23,000
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Jan 28, 2022 19:28
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My boss said my raise was on the blockchain and it was clear he meant a chain attached to a cement brick that he used to chase me around the office until I cried.
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Jan 28, 2022 19:29
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When you lose your job in the metaverse, you die in real life.
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Jan 28, 2022 19:46
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brb gonna invent the meta-metaverse
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Jan 28, 2022 19:47
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Now that we're in the metaverse, my boss can shove stuff up my rear end that would be too big to fit up there in real life and it's not technically a sex crime because the metaverse isn't real even though the pain feels real enough.
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Jan 28, 2022 19:50
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I'm no longer sure if my boss is just using a Garfield avatar or is actually Garfield. My HR refuses to clarify things, simply stating that any complainers should be "dragged out into the street and shot".
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Jan 28, 2022 19:58
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Jan 28, 2022 20:03
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A Fancy Hat posted:I'm no longer sure if my boss is just using a Garfield avatar or is actually Garfield. My HR refuses to clarify things, simply stating that any complainers should be "dragged out into the street and shot".
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Jan 28, 2022 20:09
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This is so much better than real life!! 
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Jan 28, 2022 20:16
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you respawn immediately back at your desk
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Jan 28, 2022 20:43
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Jabberlock posted:you respawn immediately back at your desk with half your money gone, as is tradition
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Jan 28, 2022 21:04
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Not only is the metaverse really Rocco's Basilisk but it's also similar to Stephen King's The Jaunt because millions of years within the game pass in the blink of an eye in the real world. So even if the metaverse eventually dies, you'll be tortured within the game for millions of times longer than the game actually exists.
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Jan 28, 2022 21:07
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Jokes on them. Now I can have a theme song that plays for anyone that's been forced to approach me. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8Htu2ku4Oo
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Jan 28, 2022 21:07
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You awaken in the metaverse and find yourself standing before a monolith with these words on it:
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Jan 28, 2022 21:10
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Yaldabaoth posted:You awaken in the metaverse and find yourself standing before a monolith with these words on it: Wise words from the Zuck man himself
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Jan 28, 2022 21:12
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Hi security, we're in conference room 3. Can you please come and get Ralph Pootawn to leave our project planning meeting? Oh, and if you can get him to leave the flying penises here that would be great, thanks.
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Jan 28, 2022 21:26
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I've been AFK for the last 16 hours. My boss has been sending aggressive emotes at me all day, but can't be bothered to call me irl. I actually died 17 hours ago because I forgot to drink actual water.
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Jan 28, 2022 21:27
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Yaldabaoth posted:Implying that Zuckerberg will wait that long to activate the secret program that kills everyone, leaving the super wealthy as the sole living humans on Earth. Naive AF. The classiest don't want them poor gone, just culled and subservient. Who else will cook, clean, etc?
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Jan 28, 2022 21:35
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No. 6 posted:Naive AF. The classiest don't want them poor gone, just culled and subservient. Who else will cook, clean, etc? Most of that will be done by robots except for the rich people who get off on treating sapient humans like slaves. So basically, the poor will be kept around solely to fulfill rich people's fetishes.
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Jan 28, 2022 21:38
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the office is about to expire, did anyone remember to convert their money in to $METACOIN?
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Jan 28, 2022 21:39
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Bonzo posted:brb gonna invent the meta-metaverse I'm going to invent the nega-metaverse. It's just a pair of leather gloves and goggles with no lenses. $10,000.
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Jan 28, 2022 21:49
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Takes piss test in VR
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Jan 28, 2022 21:57
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Weka posted:I'm going to invent the nega-metaverse. It's just a pair of leather gloves and goggles with no lenses. $10,000. I just patented the Negaverse. You wear oven mitts and blacked out welder goggles and Vin Diesel beats you with a 2x4. It's the ultimate unimmersive experience!
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Jan 28, 2022 22:03
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calling in sick on my first day due to car problems
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Jan 28, 2022 22:06
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hey everybody, i changed my look. know I'm a horse with huge bazongas.
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Jan 28, 2022 22:07
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Yaldabaoth posted:Most of that will be done by robots except for the rich people who get off on treating sapient humans like slaves. Yes
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Jan 28, 2022 22:42
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Boss called an all hands meeting at 4:30 on a Friday, but I have a raid at five. Everyone is asking why I'm dressed up, so I tell them I have an interview.
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Jan 28, 2022 22:47
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hotdog feet posted:hey everybody, i changed my look. know I'm a horse with huge bazongas. Gonna need to consult the HR handbook for guidance
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Jan 28, 2022 22:48
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Actually in the source material, my avatar is a 10,000 year-old demonic being, so no. I actually think it’s VERY appropriate for the work place and THAT is why I will be filing a wrongful termination suit, HR!
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Jan 28, 2022 23:21
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The metaverse is like the matrix except everyone's bio-electricity is used to power the world's largest bitcoin miner.
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Jan 28, 2022 23:30
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Yaldabaoth posted:The metaverse is like the matrix except everyone's bio-electricity is used to power the world's largest bitcoin miner. I wanted to make Fitcoin, where you pedal a bike to mine currency, but the name was already taken.
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Jan 28, 2022 23:31
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cult_hero posted:I wanted to make Fitcoin, where you pedal a bike to mine currency, but the name was already taken. Molocoin, named after Moloch, where the miner is powered by burning everything in a massive furnace that also spews out toxic, poisonous air.
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Jan 29, 2022 00:11
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Virtually shoot up the office like a Doom WAD.
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Jan 29, 2022 00:11
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cult_hero posted:pedal a bike to mine currency Black Mirror did it.
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Jan 29, 2022 00:26
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The metaverse is discriminatory against foot fetishists. I will not stand (lol) for this!
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Jan 29, 2022 00:28
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Bonzo posted:Black Mirror did it. Yeah, but was it in the blockchain? I guess the guy was kinda chained to his little block of ads. Whoa that show is so deep....
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Jan 29, 2022 00:28
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Is there a Meatverse available?
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Jan 29, 2022 00:32
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Dudes it is time to do virtual drugs and virtual drinks and make threads!
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Jan 29, 2022 00:34
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