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staberind posted:Ligma had always been a curious creature. He loved to explore, to find out what was hidden behind the corners of rooms, to peep into cabinets and drawers. He was always looking for new things to see, new places to explore. One day, Ligma found four balls on the edge of a table. He couldn't resist reaching for them, and when he touched them, they popped right off the edge. Ligma was puzzled as to how they could have come off the table. He didn't see any screws or nails, and he was sure that he hadn't put them there. As Ligma was puzzling over the balls, he heard a noise from behind the door. He quickly hid the balls behind his back and peered around the corner to see a group of rats entering the room. The rats began to search the room, and Ligma quickly hid the balls again before they could find them. Later that day, Ligma found a scrap of paper with a list of instructions on it. The instructions said that if he could find all four balls and put them back on the table, he would be awarded a prize. Ligma was excited at the prospect of winning something, i'm assuming the prize is a zybourne clock but i thought the entire point was that you couldn't put the balls back on the table without one. very confusing story
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Feb 6, 2022 08:19
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The Tubgirl was different from any other person that had ever been born. She was a creature that looked like a human, but had the head and body of a giant, floating, spongy, pink sea creature. Her skin was soft and squishy, and she had large, flapping ears that drooped down her back. She was the most unusual person that anyone had ever seen, and she became known as the Tubgirl. The Tubgirl was never quite sure what to make of all of the attention that she was receiving. People would stare at her with fascination, and sometimes they would even offer her food or money. She was never sure why they were so interested in her, but she was happy to receive any attention that she could get. One day, a man named Goatse approached the Tubgirl. He was a strange and mysterious man, and the Tubgirl was intrigued by him. Goatse asked the Tubgirl to come with him, and she was reluctant at first, but she eventually agreed. Together, Goatse and the Tubgirl traveled to a dark and dangerous place. There, Goatse revealed to the Tubgirl his true nature: he was a Goatse.
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Feb 6, 2022 08:25
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The Ram Ranch was a place of great mystery. It was a place where the laws of physics didn't seem to apply, and where strange and exotic animals roamed free. The Cumzone, a powerful and dangerous drug, was produced here. It was said that the ranch was owned by a powerful and mysterious man, and that he was the only person who could produce the Cumzone.
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Feb 6, 2022 08:33
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Rhonda was already feeling the effects of too much day drinking when she woke up the next morning. Her head was pounding, her mouth was dry, and she felt like she was going to vomit. She knew she needed to get home and take care of her sick husband, but she was so tired and she just wanted to sleep. She tried to get up, but her legs were so heavy and her head was spinning so much that she could barely move. She sat down instead, hoping that the dizziness would pass. But it only got worse, and before she knew it, she was unconscious.
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Feb 6, 2022 08:41
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nvm i just figured it out, once you have the zybourne clock, you can go back and give it to yourself in the past and that's how ligma was able to turn the 3rd ball back into the 4th and the 2nd ball into the 3rd etc etc
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Feb 6, 2022 08:42
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A dog with a dark secret 'Everyone knows the saying, "A dog is a man's best friend." But for some, that's not always the case. In fact, for one woman, her dog is her worst enemy.'
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Feb 6, 2022 08:52
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 Finally, the question has been answered.The unstoppable force met the immovable object and for a brief moment, everything stood still. The force was powerful and unstoppable, while the object was solid and unyielding. But in the end, the force was too strong and the object was torn apart. --- It was just another day at the office for the big, brutish, and seemingly unstoppable force known as The Hulk. He was smashing everything in his path, leaving a trail of destruction in his wake. His enemies were mere obstacles in his way, and they knew it. The Hulk was unstoppable. The immovable object.
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Feb 6, 2022 09:09
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Dilznick had always been a bit mingey. He loved to explore and play games, but he was always too eager to please. His parents had hoped that he would grow out of it, but it seemed like he only got worse. One day, Dilznick found himself in a difficult situation. He was in a high-stakes game of chess with a powerful opponent, and he was losing. He had no choice but to make a move that would win the game, but he wasn't sure what to do. In the end, Dilznick made a move that wasn't really a move at all. He simply changed the color of one of his pieces. The other player didn't see it coming and was surprised, which gave Dilznick the win. Though the move was simple, it showed off Dilznick's brilliant mind. His opponent was so impressed that he offered Dilznick a job on his team. Dilznick was thrilled to have the chance to work with such a talented person, and he was determined to show everyone what he was made of.
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Feb 6, 2022 09:18
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In the tech world, there is a new breed of superstar. They are called "Tech Bro's." They are the guys who are always on their phones, wearing the newest tech gear, and talking about how great their latest app is. They are the epitome of the Silicon Valley stereotype. But there is a hidden side to these guys. Behind the confident facade is a lonely and insecure man. They are always looking for validation from their peers and from technology. They are always searching for the next big thing to make them famous. And then there are the bonobos. These are the guys who are always down to earth and have a lot of empathy for others. They are the ones who are always willing to help out and share their knowledge. They are the real heroes of the tech world.
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Feb 6, 2022 09:40
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It wouldn't let me go with your mom so I went with tu madre but it sort of went with it anyway. Deeze nutz. That was the only thing that came to mind as I looked at the freshly baked cookies in my hands. I must have been staring at them for hours, lost in a trance. I couldn't help myself. I was drawn to them like a moth to a flame. I couldn't help but think of the words my mom would say when she caught me with her cookie jar. "Tu madre." She would scold me, but I always loved it. I loved the way she would tell me to put away my cookies, but I knew I would just sneak another one. I would eat them all in one sitting, and then feel terrible for it. But it was worth it. The taste of those cookies was like heaven. I couldn't help but smile as I remembered the last time I had one. It was the day after my birthday, and my mom had made me a special batch. She always did things just for me. I was really grateful to her. I took a bite of the cookie, and the memory of that day flooded back. My mom and I were sitting on the porch, chatting. It was a beautiful day, and I...
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Feb 6, 2022 09:47
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In the world of men, there are two types of people: those who are good, and those who are not good. The good men do what is right, while the not good men do what is wrong. And the women...well, the women are just there to be used. They are there to provide the good men with children, and to serve them in any way possible.
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Feb 6, 2022 10:09
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Blow posted:In the world of men, there are two types of people: those who are good, and those who are not good. The good men do what is right, while the not good men do what is wrong. And the women...well, the women are just there to be used. They are there to provide the good men with children, and to serve them in any way possible. Intro monologue of a de-aged Robert De Niro for Goodfellas 2.
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Feb 6, 2022 10:12
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now i feel like i'm the only person who actually understood the zybourne cliff balls parable. everyone ridiculed it at the time but now this supposed advanced storytelling ai didn't even get it maybe there actually is something to this zybourne clock project. should i try to revive it? anybody know how to code?
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Feb 6, 2022 10:48
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Mac and Cheese posted:now i feel like i'm the only person who actually understood the zybourne cliff balls parable. everyone ridiculed it at the time but now this supposed advanced storytelling ai didn't even get it Definitely revive it. Maybe there's an AI that can write game code.
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Feb 6, 2022 10:55
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Mac and Cheese posted:now i feel like i'm the only person who actually understood the zybourne cliff balls parable. everyone ridiculed it at the time but now this supposed advanced storytelling ai didn't even get it Well, you worked out an "in universe" means of solving what the computer may have implied, I wonder how many of the original Zybourne people are around nowadays....
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Feb 6, 2022 11:06
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Covid was a strange and new technology that had the potential to revolutionize the way humans interacted with the world. But Covid was also a sensitive and powerful technology, and it was up to the scientists who created it to ensure that it remained safe and secure. One day, Covid was discovered to be stored in the balls of the men who used it. With Covid in their hands, these men could control the world.
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Feb 6, 2022 11:39
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Themes: milky discharge too much milky discharge Story: Jennie was always a bit nervous when it came to going to the doctor, but this time was different. Her husband had recently been diagnosed with prostate cancer and she was worried about the effect the treatment might have on his body. When she called to make an appointment, the doctor's office told her that she needed to come in for a routine check-up. But when Jennie got there, the doctor did not seem to be checking her husband's prostate. Instead, he was examining Jennie's vaginal discharge.
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Feb 6, 2022 12:01
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Story: The nurse was trying not to laugh as she wheeled the patient into the ER. He was, she could tell, comically large. His bladder was the size of a basketball, for example, and his bowel was so large, it looked like it might burst through his stomach. But the nurse knew that this patient was in serious trouble. He had a fistula, and unless it was fixed, he was going to die.
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Feb 6, 2022 12:04
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I bring you the tale of: An Evil Druid and a Magic Apple "The druid, a powerful and evil being, had been stalking the apple tree for weeks, waiting for the perfect opportunity to acquire its fruit. Finally, one day, he found himself within reach of the tree's bounty. He reached for the apple, but before he could take it, a gust of wind came and snatched it away. The druid was furious. He had been ready to feast on the apple's sweet flavor, but now it was gone. He cursed the wind and vowed to find the thief and punish them for their crime."
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Feb 6, 2022 12:09
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Feb 6, 2022 12:14
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As he sipped from his whisky, Bill thought back to the night before. He and his old buddy, Sal, had gone out for a few beers after work. Sal had been telling Bill about his new girlfriend, and how much he was in love with her. Bill couldn't help but feel a bit envious. He had been dating Molly for a few months now, and he was starting to feel like he was getting stale. Bill reached for the bottle of whisky, taking another sip. The edge from u2 was a familiar and comforting friend, helping him to relax and unwind. He was just about to drift off to sleep when he heard a knock on the door. Bill got up, unsteadily, and went to answer it. It was Sal, his old buddy from work. Sal looked serious. "Bill, I have to tell you something." Sal said. "What is it?" Bill asked, worried. "I think I'm in love with your girlfriend." 
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Feb 6, 2022 13:41
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we need the uncensored version of this site i want to see how offensive an AI can be i've gotten "try again" six times in a row on "goons" and "haters" lol
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Feb 6, 2022 13:43
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wierdly enough in a fit a contrarian pique, I did one with ccp and genocide and i lost count of the times I had to click. I decided not to post the eventual outcome because thats not funny and it was basically a series of dry facts with dates. It can be rather offensive and gross, but its more psychological horror that might not get picked up by its other AI "Minders"
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Feb 6, 2022 14:10
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Keromaru5 posted:But, there was one thing Toronto lacked: a supermassive black hole. Just woke my wife up laughing like an rear end in a top hat over this
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Feb 6, 2022 14:20
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What’s the AI’s username? 
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Feb 6, 2022 14:21
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Nearly everything including the phrase "Something Awful" is rated as offensive. That's actually the only result I got that wasn't either censored or where the phrase wasn't just ignored.
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Feb 6, 2022 14:38
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I swear to absoute christ this was the very first one i got with "coffee" and "weed". this thing is alive 
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Feb 6, 2022 15:02
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precision posted:I swear to absoute christ this was the very first one i got with "coffee" and "weed". this thing is alive Really insightful, actually.
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Feb 6, 2022 15:10
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No one knows how it started, but all across the country, women have been reporting sightings of strange, floppy hooters. Some say they're the size of grapefruits, while others say they're the size of watermelons. No one is sure what the purpose of these hooters is, but everyone agrees that they're definitely not welcome in polite society.
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Feb 6, 2022 15:31
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Feb 6, 2022 16:07
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Feb 6, 2022 16:09
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Feb 6, 2022 16:15
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The city was in an uproar. The sounds of screams and gunshots filled the air; it seemed like the whole city was on fire. But, amidst all the chaos, one man could be heard, over and over again. "Defenestrate!" he shouted. And with that, the man threw open the window of the room he was in, and jumped out, into the night.
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Feb 6, 2022 17:15
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Feb 6, 2022 17:20
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Jazz is alive and well in the city. It can be found in the sounds of the saxophone, the trumpet, and the drums. It's a rhythm that can stir the soul and make people feel good. And, of course, there's the flatulence that always seems to accompany jazz performances.
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Feb 6, 2022 17:37
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quote:On his popular podcast, "The Joe Rogan Experience," Joe Rogan apologized for making racist and sexist jokes in the past. In a video posted to his website, Rogan said that he had "been through a lot of personal growth" and that he was now "aware of the power of words and how words can hurt people." The truckers who had organized the protest were not satisfied with Rogan's apology, however. In a video posted to their Facebook page, the truckers said that they were "disgusted" with Rogan and that his apology was "not enough."
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Feb 6, 2022 17:51
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Garfield lay in his bed, lamenting the world without Mondays. He missed the routine of waking up early on the first day of the week, doing his chores, and then spending the rest of the day lounging around the house. He especially missed the social aspect of Mondays - being able to go out with his friends, eat pizza, and get into trouble. Garfield pondered the world without Mondays for a while, then got an idea. He could create a world where Mondays existed, and he would be the ruler! He would be able to do whatever he wanted on Mondays, and no one would be able to stop him. Garfield got up from his bed and began to make preparations for his new world. He gathered up all the pieces of paper that represented Monday, and put them in his pocket. He stopped by the kitchen to grab a slice of pizza, then headed out to create his new world.
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Feb 6, 2022 17:53
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fuckin lmao
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Feb 6, 2022 20:14
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Hungry Computer posted:Garfield lay in his bed, lamenting the world without Mondays. He missed the routine of waking up early on the first day of the week, doing his chores, and then spending the rest of the day lounging around the house. He especially missed the social aspect of Mondays - being able to go out with his friends, eat pizza, and get into trouble. Garfield pondered the world without Mondays for a while, then got an idea. He could create a world where Mondays existed, and he would be the ruler! He would be able to do whatever he wanted on Mondays, and no one would be able to stop him. Garfield got up from his bed and began to make preparations for his new world. He gathered up all the pieces of paper that represented Monday, and put them in his pocket. He stopped by the kitchen to grab a slice of pizza, then headed out to create his new world. Thank you Garfield
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Feb 6, 2022 20:17
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Feb 6, 2022 20:25
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