- Barco Fiesta
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a fantasy of olives
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looking for a team of 69 individuals with applicable skills to help me steal knightscope security robots, that Wu Tang album they only made one copy of, priceless NFTs, etc.
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Feb 17, 2022 23:39
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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May 3, 2024 09:00
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- google THIS
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I volunteer to sit in a van wearing a headset and typing furiously. I'll actually be posting on BYOB but I'll occasionally yell random helpful heist instructions like "Watch your six!" and "Get out of there now!"
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#
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Feb 18, 2022 02:32
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- Escape From Noise
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Right clicking and my middle finger suddenly cramps...
drat, i'm getting too old for this
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Feb 18, 2022 10:44
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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can I handle "contingencies"?
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#
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Feb 18, 2022 14:35
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- google THIS
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Please get the uncrustable's consent before you funge it, and remember it's a lot easier if you let it thaw first
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Feb 18, 2022 15:17
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- Buttchocks
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No, I like my hat, thanks.
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Here's how it's gonna go: you, a bunch of dwarfs, and a guy who still remembers punch cards are gonna bust in to a warehouse and steal back my cryptomining rigs. Just be careful that they haven't mined too deeply and awakened a daemon.
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Feb 18, 2022 22:56
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- google THIS
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(carefully executes a complex series of memorized acrobatics while blindfolded)
"Uh, the laser grid is in the next room."
"I knew that."
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#
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Feb 19, 2022 01:56
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Sweet.
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#
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Feb 19, 2022 10:00
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- Viginti Septem
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Oculus Noctuae
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But what about this sudden love interest who just showed up? I promised myself I couldn't handle another... So soon after the incident
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Feb 19, 2022 10:34
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- google THIS
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im the guy who scales the building with the suction cups but tbh im gonna need some instructions from that point onwards
Get out of there now!
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#
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Feb 20, 2022 23:11
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- Escape From Noise
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I'm the old timer who's given it up but is going to reluctantly do one last score because their daughter is in debt to the mob or my wife needs money for cancer treatments. Something like that.
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#
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Feb 21, 2022 03:07
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- The Walrus Cancer
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If we were all trees, there'd be no more wars. 'Cause we'd be trees.
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You son of a bitch. I'm in.
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Feb 21, 2022 08:11
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- kalel
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I'm the heist caterer
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#
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Feb 21, 2022 15:18
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- kalel
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hope y'all like chili dogs and tater salad
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#
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Feb 21, 2022 15:18
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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I have a question about lazer beam colours. Which are the ones that trip the alarms and which are the ones that can cut through bone?
Also, do the ones that trip the alarms activate the ones that cut through bone. This is a pretty crucial question I think.
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Feb 21, 2022 15:34
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- Happysafer
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"You idiots!"
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I'm a cleaner, but look I don't do bodily fluids. I'll just have like a bottle of Windex, some paper towels and a garbage bag. Try not to make a mess.
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Feb 21, 2022 16:12
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- Buttchocks
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No, I like my hat, thanks.
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Good news! I've recruited a sassy but emotionally detached female who speaks in h4x3rz lingo and wears a leather catsuit that's all black but also way too shiny to realistically be used for covert ops. There's no possible way she will double-cross us and steal the loot for herself, right?
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Feb 22, 2022 08:05
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- Twenty Four
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*Instead of assembling a team of old retired criminals and convincing them to perform a new heist for big money as in many movies, getting together a bunch of new age specialists to pull off an old school crime.*
"Gabe, I need you to hack into their internet connection and kill it. I want zero upload capabilities. After, once you are done jamming their cell phone signals, install that virus into the local power station and shut them down! We can't have electric fences in our way."
"Kendrick, your air soft gun skills are beyond anyone else. Legendary among the greater local metropolitan area. Shoot out their CCTV cameras at maximum range. Go tactical if need be. We can't have any evidence left behind."
"Sally, keep those drones of yours flying overhead watching our six. You are our eyes in the sky! Text me if you see anything, like a sheriff, ranger, or an ISP repair technician."
"I've watched some YouTube let's play videos of Red Dead Redemption and did a few online asks to a self-proclaimed lassoing expert, and I think we might just pull this off."
Just like in old times, We. Will. Steal. A. Horse.
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#
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Feb 22, 2022 14:25
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- google THIS
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Good news! I've recruited a sassy but emotionally detached female who speaks in h4x3rz lingo and wears a leather catsuit that's all black but also way too shiny to realistically be used for covert ops. There's no possible way she will double-cross us and steal the loot for herself, right?
As long as she's hot enough that you just can't stay mad at her untamable wildcard antics and the endless sexual tension that never actually leads to anything then hey, bring it on. Hell, does she have a sister?
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Feb 22, 2022 15:19
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- Buttchocks
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No, I like my hat, thanks.
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As long as she's hot enough that you just can't stay mad at her untamable wildcard antics and the endless sexual tension that never actually leads to anything then hey, bring it on. Hell, does she have a sister?
The sister can only commit to the heist after this one.
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#
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Feb 22, 2022 22:07
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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May 3, 2024 09:00
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- kalel
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Good news! I've recruited a sassy but emotionally detached female who speaks in h4x3rz lingo and wears a leather catsuit that's all black but also way too shiny to realistically be used for covert ops. There's no possible way she will double-cross us and steal the loot for herself, right?
As long as she's hot enough that you just can't stay mad at her untamable wildcard antics and the endless sexual tension that never actually leads to anything then hey, bring it on. Hell, does she have a sister?
The sister can only commit to the heist after this one.
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Feb 22, 2022 22:25
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#
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Feb 17, 2022 23:39
