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Namtab posted:As per my previous post, my worry is that this becomes shallow "I can fix her" fanfic. Mental illness is hard, often doesn't get parity of esteem with physical health, and I hope this game defies my expectations in how things are resolved. I'm optimistic. Admittedly Falconier is somewhat blind on this one but so far the art they've recommended has been "better than expected," including random fanfics. Worst case scenario the reviews of related media e.g. Interviews with Monster Girls, is enough to keep me feelin good about my time here. Yuri's felt pretty obnoxiously preening and twee but that is also a kind of teenager so it's just making me cringe more than anything else.
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Mar 21, 2022 02:28
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Namtab posted:I do agree with the comments that the dialogue is overwritten thus far though. The point of the original was that these four girls are recognisable visual novel cliches due to deep rooted issues that Monika exploits so they become more obvious and pronounced: This LP is really one gigantic die roll. Most of the comments I see strongly hint that the writing flaws we see here get toned down once the writers have the freedom to breathe instead of riffing on what's already there. So far, everything's more or less accurate, but I'm not enthused about the choices they're making and where they're taking the plot. That said:  Interviews with Monster Girls: Episode 5: "Snow Woman-chan is Cold" (Pt. 2) As a reminder, check the OP to make sure you’re caught up.   After Yuki calms down, her and Takahashi are discussing how he’d describe her condition.  Takahashi’s the same level of oblivious to the point of being insulting he always gets when demis are involved. Like, she realizes he’s taking some of her frozen sweat and storing it for chemical analysis later. Seriously? Are you really taking a product of someone’s body and hauling it off for medical experimentation without her permission? Especially a member of a protected class… I think that might be a felony. If it isn’t, it should be; that’s the kind of poo poo Henrietta Lack’s descendents are still suing people over. What the gently caress kind of bargain-basement school did you go to where they didn’t teach you the basics of informed consent in medical research? Jesus.  She calls him on this, emphatically, and he’s mostly just confused. He actually calls her cold.  And for the first time, she embraces her status as a snow woman and basically goes “gently caress yeah I am!”   Later, Hikari and Kyouko are looking for Yuki when she runs up to them, all smiles…  … And asks them if they can go out for ice cream.  And so they do. We jump straight to a park, where the three of them are lined up, ice cream in hand. I do like how Hikari and Yuki are using cones while Kyouko’s eating hers out of a bowl in her lap; it’s an obvious adaptation and I wouldn’t expect anything less, but it’s still nice to see.   Yuki and Hikari are kind of awkward around each other right now, especially the latter; turns out she realized she was making Yuki uncomfortable by being physical with her, so she pulled back a bit. Then she faced down those bullies in the bathroom and stood up for her. And she still wants to chew on her neck.   Yuki stiltedly offers Hikari a bite from her ice cream, and she equally stiltedly accepts, leaning in.  And then she realizes she was about to go for her neck and pulls back a bit, gently taking the cone. She’s so distracted by her thoughts she absentmindedly polishes off the whole cone.   Yuki interrupts her apologies and springs a surprise one of her own. Turns out she noticed Hikari pulling back and intuited why she did so, thanking her for her consideration. Hikari starts stumbling again and Yuki interrupts her a second time by saying he’s basically gotten over that issue and now she’s perfectly fine with as much physical contact as Hikari’s interested in.  Hikari’s a little overwhelmed. They embrace and declare themselves friends.   Which means Hikari wants to bite her neck. She quickly clarifies what we covered earlier – a bloodsucking involved, it’s an oral fixation/comfort thing. Yuki graciously accepts.   So Hikari bites down halfway through thanking her and start gnawing, inciting peals of ticklish laughter. Cue the two flailing around with a face on Hikari so exaggerated I laughed out loud when I first saw it.   Kyouko also ends up with her head on Yuki, though she’s simply holding it in her lap. Kyouko’s enjoying the coolness of her hands, Hikari’s on-and-off nibbling on her neck in a dynamic that no doubt dominates the part of the fandom that ships these characters, and Yuki’s enjoying finally establishing meaningful social relationships, her fears of the danger she could pose to others finally vanquished.    And Takahashi, narrating as he walks home from school, lays out how this all dovetails with evolving views of demis overtime. In the bad old days, demis were on the business end of brutal discrimination – of course they didn’t get happy endings and stories, they didn’t get happy endings in real life. But in the more utopian society our characters live in, things don’t have to end that way anymore. Instead they can end with three demis giggling like the schoolgirls they are as he happens to pass by.  Sometime later, Yuki, Kyouko, and Hikari are all eating lunch on the rooftop. Yuki, clearly trying to get to know Hikari a little better, asks what Hikari does when she really needs to chew on something.  Turns out she asks Himari. We get the glimpse of Hikari asking her for something to chew on, and she just holds out her arm while continuing to read her book. She even asks Hikari to turn the page a little while in. I know it’s just a gag, but it’s also nice bit of mutualism; they’ve clearly adapted to each other well enough that Himari can both give her sister what she needs and have her sister help her out in the process. It’s healthy, egalitarian, and very sweet.     Anyway, Takahashi walks out, sees them, and comes up to talk; he notes how nice it is they’ve bonded so closely already. He does note that Yuki’s already dropping their honorifics, though, which is a little TOO into intimate – before referring to Hikari without honorifics, which Yuki assiduously points out. Quick sidebar, even though I bet it’s mostly redundant: in English, honorifics (stuff like Mr. or Dr., say) go before a name to indicate formality and respect. They’re usually seen as a little too formal for casual conversation, though, some casual conversation people usually go by first names. It’s possible to finagle honorifics and their lack to insult somebody (calling someone you don’t know by their first name can come across as condescending and calling them just there last name can be demeaning), they aren’t as omnipresent as suffixes like -san or -chan in Japanese. That language has a whole complicated hierarchy of honorifics so omnipresent even friendly nicknames usually work them in to avoid offense; if somebody’s name begins with “aki”, say, people might call them Acchan or Akkun (depending on gender presentation) instead. Even good friends use surnames with one of the more casual honorifics. Calling someone by their given name alone (like Yuki does for Hikari and Kyouko) is incredibly informal, the kind of thing you reserve for somebody you’re in a relationship with, and Takahashi’s trying to point out how she may be entering into this friendship a little too hard and fast after who knows how long of isolation. Weebery aside, I bring this up because it fits a pattern I’ve noticed popping up in time to time; there is a kind of silent kinship among disabled people. We really do tend to be more honest and quicker to trust each other than abled people, being a little more framed in what we say and a little less likely to mince words. Lots of minorities show this dynamic, actually, and it comes from the unifying power of shared experience. It doesn’t always make it helpful, of course –disabled status doesn’t inherently make someone not an rear end in a top hat or trustworthy – but it usually doesn’t cause much of an issue. Who knows how much thought went into this choice in the writers’ room, but it does dovetail well with reality.  Takahashi and Hikari then kick off an impromptu comedy routine where they compare different ways they can talk to each other. Now, normally I’m a strong sub/dub egalitarian who says both have their place, but I freely acknowledge most dubs aren’t worth the time. Interviews with Monster Girls has a dub, and it sucks. This scene, though, definitely deserves a watch. Either way, they all conclude that him calling her Hikari and her calling him Takahashi or Sensei, informal as it is, the way the two interact really does fit their relationship.  They also discuss whether he should call the rest of them by their first names, too, and Kyouko has a predictably over-the-top positive reaction before politely requesting he go with a standard (surname)-san.   Takahashi curious points out that Hikari refers to other teachers with more standard honorifics, and she’s just like “yeah, but you’re different” (which the other girls agree with). Then he asked what she calls Satou, and she trots out the same kind of cutesy nickname she uses with her friends (who start giggling in the background).  The Two Stooges, passing the background, casually wonder if Yuki was always this upbeat before moving on. They don’t hear what they’re saying, but they do see the, and the girls realize they’re about to be late for PE and dash off.    Yuki awkwardly stops to talk to Takahashi, who tries to refer to her by first name explicitly to see if she’s comfortable with it; she begs off and says basically “you can call me whatever you want”, which baffles him. Meanwhile, the shorter and more forward Stooge approaches Hikari, asking her for the nickname of his own. She politely begs off while telling him she has no idea who he is  . While he’s recovering from that burn, though, Yuki walks up to him, addresses him by name, and thanks him for looking out for her all the way back when she overheated and he helped her get to the nurse’s office. She also apologizes for blowing them off earlier and invites him out to karaoke that evening, which he’s overjoyed to accept.  And then he discovers he was invited along with like half a dozen girls (including the Two Girls Stooges, oddly enough). And so the episode ends. This episode feels a little bittersweet to me. On the one hand, there’s a lot accurate about it – the euphoria of claiming your identity, the bonds of disabled kinship, the way your life just seems to smooth out once you’ve found a way to balance it with your disability. On the other, the way it portrays this transition feels painfully simplified. This switch, this one moment where you come to terms with who you are, has some basis in reality, but it tends to come in flashes and retreat. Maybe it’s because her trauma here is pretty surface-level, but in real life the process of coming to terms with it and embracing who you are is long, rocky, and full of backsliding. I’m happy for Yuki, I just wish her experience was more common. But that’s part of what I’m trying to do in this thread, isn’t it?
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Mar 21, 2022 02:52
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I watched Demi-chan when it came out; some episodes landed for me and some really didn't. But it was always at its best when Hikari was chewing on something.
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Mar 21, 2022 04:21
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As of this morning,  we have another round of openings in the neurodiversity hiring program . We’re looking for entry-level software engineers and operators and offering 70k+ a year, healthcare and benefits, and a neurodivergent-run internal support network. Please PM me if you’re interested in applying and I’ll help you through the process, or check the Discord I linked in the OP; by midday today I will have the full set of announcements and information up for you to use. Applications will remain open through Wednesday and if accepted you will have to attend a next Monday-Thursday (28th-31st) preliminary training/screening session in the afternoon. We are flexible and can accommodate you missing some time if you have to, and if you can’t make it, we will be hiring bimonthly cohorts through the rest of the year so you’ll have your next opportunity at the start of the summer. Best of luck and Godspeed, whatever you choose. Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 21:23 on Mar 21, 2022 |
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Mar 21, 2022 15:22
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I’m extremely not mad that software engineers make twice as much as me
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Mar 21, 2022 15:24
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Update 5: Exactly! It's fascinating when people can diverge from the creator's original intent to find their own meaning in a work of art Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Okay, Everyone!  Whom should I share my poem with next? >Monika  Unlike the other three, Monika only has one response no matter what you put in your poem. =>Monika   MONIKA: "Hi, Hisao! Hope you've been enjoying your time here~"  HISAO: "Yeah, definitely. I probably sound like a broken record by now, but everyone's been really welcoming."  MONIKA: "Ahaha, well a broken record isn't so bad when it plays something so nice!" HISAO: "I guess so…" MONIKA: "Anyway, since you're new and everything, feel free to bring up any questions or concerns you might have. It's my duty as president to make sure that everything is perfect." HISAO: "I'd have to say that you've been doing a good job of that already. I doubt that I'll ever have anything to complain about." MONIKA: "Either way… I'm always open to new suggestions for the club as well. So don't be afraid to bring things up, okay?" HISAO: "Alright...I'll keep that in mind." She says that, but it's gonna be a bit intimidating to try to criticize Monika, of all people. I really don't think that there's going to be anything I'll need to speak up about, either. One of the other girls would probably say something before I ever needed too. Natsuki definitely would… MONIKA: "Now that that's out of the way… Feel like sharing your poem with me?" HISAO: "I mean I don't really have a choice in the matter, do I?" MONIKA: "Ahahaha! You shouldn't be thinking like that!" HISAO: "Yeah, I was just joking. Kinda…" MONIKA: "It's alright, Hisao. I get that it's probably really awkward for you to share a creative work when you're just a beginner. Especially since the rest of us have a bit more experience than you do." That's an understatement. MONIKA: "Don't worry though, we're all a little embarrassed today, you know? I don't think many people out there share their poetry on a regular basis. But it's the sort of thing that you get used to pretty quickly once you get it over with." HISAO: "Yeah, that's true." I hand my poem over with a sigh. HISAO: "Don't grade me too harshly." MONIKA: "Ahaha, you'll be fine~" I watch nervously as she quickly scans through my poem. MONIKA: "...Mhm! Interesting poem, Hisao! It has a very mellow, yet emotional feel to it. I didn't know that you were this in tune with your feelings, Hisao~" I can feel my cheeks growing hot at her teasing. HISAO: "E-eh...you think?" MONIKA: "Ahaha, no need to feel so embarrassed about this! Poetry is a very personal thing, so it's not surprising to see you putting your raw emotions down on paper. Actually… You poem reminds me of something Sayori would write." HISAO: "Really? How so?" MONIKA: "I mean, you and Sayori are really good friends, right? It shouldn't be too far fetched for you two to write similarly." HISAO: "Uhm, well I guess you could say we used to be good friends at least… We kinda drifted apart over the years, so I guess it surprises me that we could still have things like this in common." MONIKA: "Hmm, this club is the perfect opportunity to become closer again then, don't you think?" HISAO: "I guess so…" MONIKA: "Anyway, much like yours, Sayori's writing tends to have a gentle feel to it. She often uses her words to quietly meander through her imagination and to explore different emotions. Most of the time, I find that she addresses happiness and sadness in equal amounts, creating a bittersweet tone." HISAO: "Wow, that's kind of unexpected of her." Maybe she's changed more throughout the years than I thought. MONIKA: "I know right? Who knew that someone so happy would enjoy the pain of tragedy as well?" HISAO: "You know, sometimes you sound like Yuri when you talk about poetry."  MONIKA: "Eh, really?" HISAO: "Yeah, I guess you really like it, huh?" MONIKA: "You could say that~ It'd really make me happy if you could get into poetry as well." HISAO: "No pressure, right?" MONIKA: "Ahaha~ For real though, feel free to explore different things and experiment! Maybe you'll find yourself writing in a way you never would've thought you would, just like Sayori does." HISAO: "Yeah, I'm sure I'll end up doing a lot of different things before I settle on my own style. And it'll still take a while before I'm completely comfortable sharing my writing." MONIKA: "That's perfectly fine! In fact, I'd probably be more surprised if you immediately started writing with your own style. Most people go through the same process that you're going through right now. Trying new things is the best way to find the kind of style that suits you, after all. Anyway… When you talk to everyone about it, naturally they'll be a bit biased toward their own kinds of styles... After all, I know I am, ehehe… But don't force yourself to write in some way just because someone else wants you to. You should try to focus on what you want to do. Feel free to ask me for help any time, though! I try to be as objective as possible when I talk to people about these topics~" HISAO: "Thanks, I'll keep that in mind…" MONIKA: "Anyway, do you want to read my poem now? Don't worry, I'm not very good..." HISAO: "You sound pretty confident for someone who claims to not be very good." MONIKA: "Well...that's 'cause I have to sound confident. That doesn't mean I always feel that way, you know?" HISAO: "Always on duty as club president, eh?" MONIKA: "Ehehe…" HISAO: "Well, let's get to reading then." Doki Doki Literature Club! OST Disc 2 - 05 Okay, Everyone! (Monika)  The Box posted:I see, but I don't believe. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Okay, Everyone! MONIKA: "So...what do you think?" HISAO: "Hmm...I don't quite know how to say it… Sorry, I'm not really the right person to ask for feedback..." MONIKA: "Ahaha. It's okay." HISAO: "I definitely get a certain kind of feeling from reading your poem, but I'm not sure how to put it into words." MONIKA: "Mmm, I can understand that. Just try to articulate it however you want; you can use metaphors outside of poetry you know~" HISAO: "Well, when you put it like that… I dunno, I'd say that your poem is kind of...abstract? Very vague, at least. Like, I can't quite tell what exactly you're talking about, but even so, I can feel what the speaker's feeling." MONIKA: "Yeah, I think that that describes my poem pretty well." HISAO: "Eh, really?" MONIKA: "Mhmm, I do like my metaphors, hehe. Well, you'd probably be hard-pressed to find a poem without a metaphor, actually." HISAO: "Yeah, they're pretty well covered in English class at least..." MONIKA: "The ability to convey emotions and concepts through words describing things even the writer might never have experienced before... I find that really powerful. When you write metaphorically, it allows the reader to focus on the emotions in the poem." HISAO: "I guess it kind of opens it up for the reader to have their own interpretations?" MONIKA: "Exactly! It's fascinating when people can diverge from the creator's original intent to find their own meaning in a work of art." HISAO: "Mmm, yeah… What was your original intent then?" MONIKA: "Ah…"  MONIKA: "I think it'd be more fun if you tried to figure it out yourself~" HISAO: "Eh… That just makes me more curious now…" MONIKA: "Ahaha! Maybe I'll tell you one day… But for now, here's Monika's Writing Tip of the Day! Sometimes when you're writing a poem - or anything, for that matter - you get too fixated on a specific point... But if you try so hard to make it perfect, then you'll never make any progress. So the best thing to do is to just force yourself to get something down on the paper, and then tidy it up later! Another way to think about it is this: If you keep your pen in the same spot for too long, you'll just get a big dark puddle of ink. So just move your hand, and write whatever's in your heart!" Easier said than done… I get what she's trying to say though - it's better to look back on your work with fresh eyes after you've gotten something down sometimes. MONIKA: "...That's my advice for today! Thanks for listening~" Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Okay, Everyone!  HISAO: "Phew..." I guess that's everyone. I glance around the room. That was surprisingly fun, albeit a bit stressful. I already knew that I wouldn't be able to write to the quality of the girls, but I tried my best... Everyone here is incredibly talented. Well, all the girls at least. Across the room, Sayori and Monika are happily chatting again.  My eyes land on Yuri and Natsuki They gingerly exchange sheets of paper, sharing their respective poems. As I watch, Natsuki breezes through Yuri's poem, her eyes skipping over the words. Meanwhile, Yuri stares at the paper in her hands, smiling sadly. Natsuki quickly hands Yuri her poem back.  NATSUKI: "Here, I'm done."  YURI: "A-already?" NATSUKI: "Yeah. It's not like it was super hard to read. I'm not illiterate, you know." Huh. It was hard for me to understand, at least. YURI: "... I just want to make sure that you caught all the figurative language that I employed." NATSUKI: "Yeah, I did...it was fancy." YURI: "Ah-- Thanks… However, I believe that you'd enjoy it more if you looked deeper into it…" NATSUKI: "I enjoyed it plenty already. Anyway, are you finished with my poem then?" YURI: "Yes, yours is...cute…" NATSUKI: "Cute…? Didn't you learn anything from our conversation yesterday?!" Yuri looks shocked, regret seeping into her expression. Seems like both girls still hold their own prejudices, despite whatever common ground they have. NATSUKI: "How can it be cute? You're standing there thinking that I haven't read your poem, when it's really you who hasn't read my poem! It's clearly about the push and pull between giving up and trying hard." YURI: "I-I know that! I just meant... The language, I guess..." NATSUKI: "Well, maybe you should look deeper into my poem. Because I use that type of language on purpose." YURI: "I see... But if I may give a suggestion… These more involved subject matters may be better suited to more...complex diction. The art of poetry is deeply intertwined with--" NATSUKI: "Look, I know what you're trying to do, but it won't work on me." YURI: "I-I'm sorry, but I don't quite understand…?" NATSUKI: "Writing in this way doesn't make you look cool or smart, okay? It just makes you look super pretentious. If you write with a thesaurus open next to you, you're just going to alienate everyone. Using all these big words to make up for lack of depth… Poetry isn't about impressing people."  NATSUKI: "So you can just stop." (Silence) Holy crap. I stare wide-eyed at Monika and Sayori, who have now also fallen silent. They stare back at me, looking unsure of what to do. I'm guessing that they don't usually have many arguments in the club. Although tensions between Natsuki and Yuri already seemed kind of high… YURI: "Lack of depth…" NATSUKI: "Yeah, that's right. So if I can give some suggestions now--" YURI: "Excuse me… I appreciate the offer, but I really must ask--" Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Poem Panic!  YURI: "What makes you believe that I'll accept your advice after you've been so rude to me?" NATSUKI: "Huh? Rude? That was just...blunt honesty!" YURI: "You-- Do you ever consider that other people don't hold the same opinions as you?" NATSUKI: "What are you trying to say?" YURI: "... Do I really need to spell it out for you?" NATSUKI: "Yeah, you do! I want to see if you're really going there!" YURI: "The irony…" NATSUKI: "I dare you to say it." YURI: "I…!" Yuri gives a small laugh of disbelief. YURI: "I must thank you, Natsuki. I've never been this angry in my life… It's actually giving me the courage to speak up. Is this why you're angry all the time?" NATSUKI: "Nn…!"  SAYORI: "U-um! Guys, we shouldn't--" YURI: "This doesn't involve you!" (At the same time) NATSUKI: “This doesn't involve you!" YURI: "Sayori, please don't rob me of my moment…" NATSUKI: "So this is your moment to shine or something? Strange thing to take pride in, don't you think?" YURI: "No… It's my moment to finally speak my mind. While I still have the strength to…" MONIKA: "Yuri--"  YURI: "Natsuki, have you ever realized how selfish you are?” Suddenly, Yuri seems to be overpowering everyone else in the room. NATSUKI: "W-what?" YURI: "Everything always needs to go your way. You always jump to conclusions and make rash decisions without regard for the consequences. And it's never your fault, is it?" NATSUKI: "Y-you don't know me!" YURI: "No? You don't know me, either. And yet you spoke as if you knew everything about me. Quite simply, you don't. The very fact you don't think that your 'blunt honesty' was incredibly rude just goes to show how narrow-minded you truly are.” NATSUKI: "...!" Seizing her moment, Yuri boldly carries on, disdain dripping from each word. YURI: "I know it must be a difficult concept for you to understand, but the whole world doesn't revolve around you and your manga. So tell me, why should I take advice from someone who can only see their own perspective?" NATSUKI: "Nnn...!" YURI: "Everyone knows it. Monika, Sayori, even Hisao. Don't you remember how hostile you were to Hisao when he first joined us?" NATSUKI: "I wasn't being hostile! We haven't had a new member in a long time! Sorry not sorry for keeping on my toes! And that's how I talk to everyone, not just to Hisao! Am I supposed to change my whole personality to cater to how you think I should be? If Hisao has a problem with my jokes, he can tell me. You don't get to speak for him." Yuri closes her eyes and shakes her head, carrying on as if she didn't hear the outburst. YURI: "Do you really expect a new member to be able to speak up so easily? Not everyone is as unafraid of being a brutish cretin as you." NATSUKI: "Wha--?!" YURI: "The rest of us were so excited to have a new member, but did that thought ever cross your mind? No, you just let your own selfish thoughts dictate your behavior." NATSUKI: "Selfish?! They weren't sel-" YURI: "You could've scared him off. That might've been what you wanted, but what about the rest of us?" NATSUKI: "I just explained myself, for God's sake. But as per usual, you aren't listening. You know, for someone who's been ranting on about how narrow-minded I am, you're pretty...intolerant yourself. There, I used a big word. Do I sound like Shakespeare yet? Am I worthy of your attention now?" Ouch. Both girls really have their claws out… NATSUKI: "Also, Monika and Sayori didn't have any issue with me yesterday. It's just you!” YURI: “Of course they did, Natsuki. They just didn't say anything. Monika is too responsible, and Sayori's too kind… So why don't we ask Hisao then, as the more unbiased spectator?" NATSUKI: "Fine! Hisao, who's right? Me or Yuri?" HISAO: "..." How did I get dragged into this in the first place? I don't even know what they want me to decide on at this point. Should I just ignore all the personal stuff and just talk about their poetry? That's what started the argument, after all... But it's not like I'm a good judge of writing quality, given that I'm just a beginner... I don't think it would be fair for me to take either side either, especially since I'm new here…  Maybe I should defer to one of the club's leaders? >Sayori >Monika We can actually boost our relationship with Monika here by selecting her – I think there’s some left over code hear from her scrapped route – but the value isn’t connected to much. Instead, this choice mostly just lets you give a little boost to Sayori if you like. =>Sayori HISAO: "Uh…" I hate being put on the spot like this. Both Yuri and Natsuki are looking at me. While their hostility isn't aimed at me, I still feel like I'm the target for the anger in their eyes. HISAO: "Guys, I uh…" I gulp nervously as a bead of sweat trickles down my neck. HISAO: "I'm really not the best judge for this. A-After all, I'm new, so…" I'm painfully aware of how weak my voice sounds. Neither girl looks impressed. NATSUKI: "Wow, real help you are." YURI: "Natsuki-" NATSUKI: "Let me guess - blah blah blah, you're being so rude? You're a broken record, Yuri. Shut up." YURI: "Ah, so you're finally realizing how insolent you are? You got there in the end, well done." NATSUKI: "...! You are such a bi-" (Sudden Silence)  SAYORI: "Stop!!" We're all stunned into silence. I've never heard Sayori angry before, and even Natsuki looks taken aback.  Immediately, the anger on Sayori's face is replaced by a flood of tears, the anger giving way to sadness. SAYORI: "Guys, enough of this! Please! You're tearing apart this club! P-Please don't do this. I love this place so much, and you guys are both my friends. I hate it when people fight. It's horrible! This place means s-so much to me. And I know it means a lot t-to you guys as well. So please...can we stop arguing over whose style is better?" Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Daijoubu! SAYORI: "It doesn't even matter! You're both unique, and that's what counts!" Yuri and Natsuki are both looking incredibly ashamed of themselves. I guess neither of them expected that their argument would hurt Sayori so much. That once raging fire has been snuffed out, replaced with smouldering embers. SAYORI: "I really like your simple style, Natsuki! It's so nice to sit down and read a poem that springs to life. And I know the others do as well!" Monika and I nod in earnest, putting a small smile on Natsuki's face. SAYORI: “And Yuri, I'm amazed at how complex and deep your poems are. They're really in depth! But there's no need to argue over which style is better! You can't really compare them, anyway. It depends on what mood you're in." HISAO: "She's right, guys. Sometimes you're just in the mood for something simple. Sometimes you might want something a bit more complex. It's like music, or movies. People like a variety of things. You can't really say that comedy as a genre is 'better' than action, can you? Both types appeal to different things. You wouldn't watch an action movie for the laughs, would you?" I look over to Sayori and give her a reassuring smile. She returns with a watery smile of her own, rubbing her tears away. SAYORI: "You said it, Hisao." She turns to face Yuri and Natsuki once more. SAYORI: "Now, you both said some stuff that was pretty mean… But I know neither of you meant it! Neither of you are narrow-minded! Although it would be nice if you could like each other's stuff a bit more… So could you try doing that a little? Please? For me? For the club?" I can't help but laugh as she puts on puppy dog eyes. I don't think she realizes the right time to use them… NATSUKI: "...Sure. Whatever. I'll try." Yuri takes a deep breath, finally lifting her eyes off the floor. YURI: "...You're right, Sayori. I'll also make more of an effort. And Natsuki?" NATSUKI: "What?" Natsuki still looks quite defiant, as though expecting another insult from Yuri. YURI: "I...apologize for what I said. Your style has its own merits." Natsuki blinks, as though slapped in the face. She clearly wasn't expecting an apology. NATSUKI: "...Meh, it's fine. Don't worry about it. Your style is…" She diverts her eyes downwards once more. NATSUKI: "I guess what I'm trying to say is...you write pretty well. I...shouldn't have said that stuff." YURI: "...Me neither." There's an awkward silence. SAYORI: "That's much better, guys! Thank you for putting your differences aside. We all really appreciate it!" YURI: "I'll go and make some tea..." She rushes off as Natsuki wanders over to the closet. I glance over at Monika. She hasn't said a word throughout the whole argument, which surprised me. MONIKA: "I should've been the one who said all of that." HISAO: "Why didn't you, then?" I wince as the words leave my mouth. They sounded more accusatory than I would've liked. MONIKA: "Well...I know I'm the leader and I run this club, but… I'm not the greatest with people." I frown. If she isn't great with people, how can she run a club? She must've caught the confusion on my face as she hastened to explain. MONIKA: "Sorry, aha. Let me rephrase that. I'm fine with people, it's just their drama that I can't really deal with." HISAO: "Well, that's why you have Sayori, right?" MONIKA: "Mmmhmm. She's an excellent vice-president, able to deal with conflict much better than I can. Which is pretty embarrassing, at least for me. That should've been my duty to deal with, not hers." HISAO: "I don't blame you, seriously. It was pretty tough to get involved. I could barely speak up." MONIKA: "True. But that's exactly the sort of thing that a president should be able to deal with." HISAO: "Nah, c'mon Monika. Don't see it like that. You and Sayori just have different strengths, that's all. I always thought of her as a little ditzy sometimes, but she definitely has a knack for social situations." MONIKA: "Definitely. I'm very grateful to have her as my vice-president." HISAO: "Well, the both of you do a really good job running this place. I know that's a bit of an early assessment… But you know. First impressions and all." She smiles sweetly at me, causing my stomach to knot. MONIKA: "You're too kind, Hisao. I'm glad Sayori brought you along to the club - I really do hope you stick around." HISAO: "Don’t worry, I will." Monika seems like such a genuine person, and she makes a great president, regardless of what she might think. Hopefully I’ll be able to properly get to know her during the school year.  MONIKA: "Okay, everyone! It's just about time for us to leave. How did you all feel about sharing your poetry?" I notice that she carefully avoids mentioning the argument that just occurred. SAYORI: "It was a lot of fun!" YURI: "...Some moments were worth it." NATSUKI: "It was alright. Well, mostly." MONIKA: "Hisao, how about you?" HISAO: "I actually really enjoyed myself. It seems I do like expressing myself through poetry, a lot more than I initially thought."  Everyone looks intently at me, the girls smiling at me… HISAO: "It was really cool getting to see everyone's different writing styles." MONIKA: "That's awesome! In that case, we'll do the same thing tomorrow. And hopefully you learned something from us, too. So your poems will turn out even better!" HISAO: "Aha, yeah..." I think to myself a bit as I begin to pack up. Today I managed to learn a little more about the kinds of poems that everyone likes. With any luck, I'll be able to learn more about the girls as individuals through their themes and messages. I nod to myself, turning to Sayori. HISAO: "Hey, Sayori. Ready to walk home?" SAYORI: "Sure!~" HISAO: "Okay, see you guys tomorrow then!" As we leave the club room, Sayori turns back to wave at the girls. I do the same. Natsuki smiles, then quickly looks away to act like she doesn't care. Yuri awkwardly smiles and nods. And, as expected from the school idol, Monika gives a friendly grin and waves back." 25. Cinnamon - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST HISAO: "Sayori...about what uh, happened earlier…" SAYORI: "Eh? What do you mean?" HISAO: "You know, between Yuri and Natsuki. I remember you told me yesterday that they sometimes bicker but...are all their arguments normally that bad?" I feel a little guilty as I ask her, as I know she doesn't like talking about conflict. There's a slight dip in the cheeriness of her voice as she replies.  SAYORI: "No, not at all! They have their differences, but it's the first time I've ever seen them fight like that… They're both wonderful people, I promise. You don't...hate them or anything, do you?" HISAO: "Oh, not at all. It's only normal for people to argue, I guess. I was just curious; after all, you know them better than I do." Sayori lets out a relieved sigh. SAYORI: "You know, Hisao...it's been so nice seeing you again. I didn't really think we'd get to spend much time with one another again." HISAO: "Yeah, tell me about it. It's been really fun hanging out again. I don't really know when we started drifting, or why." HISAO: "Guess it was just life coming between us?" She nods, looking a little reflective. HISAO: "Still, I'm glad you let me join your club. I'm not going to lie, at first I was a bit doubtful when you told me it was about literature. But hey, I guess it just goes to-" She giggles, and I frown. Did I say something funny? SAYORI: "Ehehe, nice pun. Did you even realize?~" HISAO: "Huh? Pun? …Ah, you mean about the book comment? Ohhh...and this is a Literature Club… Geez, looks like the club's really starting rub off on me, isn't it?" Sayori might be known as a bit of an airhead, but sometimes she can really notice things that others don't. I wonder...what's it really like inside her head?"  SAYORI: "Ah...you haven't changed at all, Hisao. You always knew how to make me laugh." I blush slightly. I’ve never really known how to react to that compliment, especially when it comes from someone of the opposite sex. HISAO: "I’m glad I’m still able to do that, haha. I’ll be honest though, I didn’t think I’d make so many new friends by joining the club." SAYORI: "Well, they’re a really nice bunch! I’m not surprised~" HISAO: "Yeah, a pretty warm welcome." She nods contentedly. HISAO: "Anyway, let’s see what the future holds. I'll see you tomorrow!" SAYORI: "Okay, see ya tomorrow~" These girls are all interesting characters, aren't they? Different personalities and a variety of writing styles. Yet they’re all united under the same club. I briefly wonder how Monika found all of them. In just two days, I feel like I’ve made progress with each member. Getting to know Yuri and Natsuki, actually getting to talk to Monika a little bit… And of course, reuniting with an old friend. I never would've guessed this would all come from joining the club. But hey, I'm not complaining. Let's just hope my writing improves over time so I can write poems to a standard more like theirs. Speaking of which...there's work to be done tonight. Let's do this!
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Mar 21, 2022 17:17
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The box is new content. It’s not subtle
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Mar 21, 2022 18:50
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Falconier111 posted:Now, normally I’m a strong sub/dub egalitarian who says both have their place, but I freely acknowledge most dubs aren’t worth the time. The acting in dubs is often not great (although I'd say it's better on average than it used to be), but in this context I feel it's worth noting that they are actually pretty important for accessibility for people with vision impairments, dyslexia, and sometimes ADHD. At the height of my weeb phase in high school, I had a dyslexic friend who had to watch dubs because she couldn't read accurately enough at the speed required to follow subs, and I think that cured me of any tendency to be snotty about the existence of dubs or people who watch them. Of course, having subtitles is also an accessibility thing for people who are hard of hearing or have auditory processing problems or... also sometimes ADHD (it's complicated!). In the end the key thing is to have options. (This isn't meant as a criticism, to be clear, just a sidebar relevant to the theme of the thread.) Ghost Car fucked around with this message at 20:58 on Mar 21, 2022 |
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Mar 21, 2022 19:00
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Namtab posted:The box is new content. It’s not subtle Monika is the influencer of the group its true Ghost Car posted:The acting in dubs is often not great (although I'd say it's better on average than it used to be), but in this context I feel it's worth noting that they are actually pretty important for accessibility for people with vision impairments, dyslexia, and sometimes ADHD. At the height of my weeb phase in high school, I had a dyslexic friend who had to watch dubs because she couldn't read accurately enough at the speed required to follow subs, and I think that cured me of any tendency to be snotty about the existence of dubs or people who watch them. Of course, having subtitles is also an accessibility thing for people with hearing impairments, auditory processing problems, or... also sometimes ADHD (it's complicated!). In the end the key thing is to have options. I watched Flee last night with some friends and that's a movie that uses like half a dozen languages (mostly Dari and Danish, but a close 3rd for Russian not to mention a considerable amount of English and Spanish). We watched it subbed because that was the preference of everybody involved, but the movie included a method that to me feels insane but to my knowledge is fairly common in Eastern Europe of overdubbing - the scene plays out in Language A while a person dubs in a translation of Language B overlapping with the original audio. Documentaries sometimes do a limited form of it but for me it just sounds like audio hell (to be clear, it was diegetic - the characters were watching Mexican shows with Russian dubbing that were formed like that).
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Mar 21, 2022 19:36
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Ghost Car posted:The acting in dubs is often not great (although I'd say it's better on average than it used to be), but in this context I feel it's worth noting that they are actually pretty important for accessibility for people with vision impairments, dyslexia, and sometimes ADHD. At the height of my weeb phase in high school, I had a dyslexic friend who had to watch dubs because she couldn't read accurately enough at the speed required to follow subs, and I think that cured me of any tendency to be snotty about the existence of dubs or people who watch them. Of course, having subtitles is also an accessibility thing for people with hearing impairments, auditory processing problems, or... also sometimes ADHD (it's complicated!). In the end the key thing is to have options. Dubs really are nice sometimes to just be able to sit back and watch some anime. When I watch subbed anime on my own I might pause and rewind if I didn't read everything or just wanted to make sure I parsed a line correctly on the first read. I don't think I'm a particularly terrible reader or anything, but sometimes the subtitles leave the screen a bit fast or there's multiple speakers translated at the same time (or even one speaker with written text in the scene translated). I know most of the time with concurrent dialogue that the most important line/speaker's translation generally stays on screen the longest, but the time was taken to translate the other lines so I want to read them as well. Plus if I actually knew Japanese I could hear everything going on all at once so skipping stuff makes me feel like I'm not taking in the scene as intended. It also sucks I feel like I should keep my eyes focused near the bottom of the screen to make sure I don't miss anything which can lead to not catching all the visuals. Not every anime is like that for me, but there are definitely some shows where a 24 minute watch (with opening/ending included) might take me 30 or 35 minutes to get through. When I'm watching stuff with friends I don't get the luxury of pausing and there have definitely been times where I missed some stuff and had to infer what was going on through the rest of the lines/what's on the screen/general assumptions about the show. The most extreme example of this is Tatami Galaxy. I don't know if this link to the episode 1 of the official sub will work everywhere but here's a small example of the main character narrating https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kq7O6eR12oM&t=339s. The dude just goes a mile a minute while the art in the show has a slick style I want to fully appreciate. I'm pretty sure I missed or misread a handful of lines in every episode. I know not every dub will be the highest quality, but I can certainly understand wanting to hear a show in your native language if it makes watching easier and more fluid.
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Mar 21, 2022 20:58
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really though, if you accept Doki Doki Literature Club's premise that monika is a person with newly-discovered agency, and then we install a mod to completely bulldoze her agency, what we're doing here is pretty monstrous. her poem is definitely as subtle as a brick though, lol interestingly, the argument between Yuri and Natsuki in the original game was just as much about the two of them trying to impress/attract the cute new boy who had just joined the literature club, as it was their personalities clashing. here, that angle seems to have been removed entirely, at least overtly -- the argument starts because they're both very different and headstrong about it.
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Mar 21, 2022 21:01
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Tulip posted:I watched Flee last night with some friends and that's a movie that uses like half a dozen languages (mostly Dari and Danish, but a close 3rd for Russian not to mention a considerable amount of English and Spanish). We watched it subbed because that was the preference of everybody involved, but the movie included a method that to me feels insane but to my knowledge is fairly common in Eastern Europe of overdubbing - the scene plays out in Language A while a person dubs in a translation of Language B overlapping with the original audio. Documentaries sometimes do a limited form of it but for me it just sounds like audio hell (to be clear, it was diegetic - the characters were watching Mexican shows with Russian dubbing that were formed like that). Wow, I knew that countries varied on defaulting to subtitles vs. dubbing, but I wasn't aware of overdubbing! That honestly sounds like a nightmare for my particular combination of auditory processing and sensory issues, but for most people it probably comes down mostly to what you're used to, or so I've gleaned from seeing discussions between people from countries with different norms. ... But this is probably a bit of a derail, oops.
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Mar 21, 2022 21:18
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I was deeply wrong on the timing for the job app. It is only open through the end of Wednesday! Please contact me here or on discord if you need further assistance, it's not a complicated process and I can personally walk you through it if you'd like.Ghost Car posted:Wow, I knew that countries varied on defaulting to subtitles vs. dubbing, but I wasn't aware of overdubbing! That honestly sounds like a nightmare for my particular combination of auditory processing and sensory issues, but for most people it probably comes down mostly to what you're used to, or so I've gleaned from seeing discussions between people from countries with different norms. This kind of discussion is the reason this LP exists  I actually prefer both at the same time. I like hearing AND seeing the dialogue, I guess it just helps me process things more easily. Any noise I hear off the screen will get in my way of processing the audio and I periodically glance away from the screen anyway; having both covers the gaps. But then, I read faster than anyone I've ever met, so I can read the subtitles and pay attention to the rest of the scene pretty easily.
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Mar 21, 2022 21:29
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Subs and dubs are iffy for me. Even if I'm watching something dubbed, I tend to have the subtitles up because I retain things more easily if I read them, and it helps if a person happens to be mumbling or something. I also have opinions about the sound of the voice actors as well when it comes to characters. I've noticed in a lot of games that have multiple language options and voice acting that characters can come off very differently in different languages purely on how their voice sounds. I personally find Japanese female voices to often be a bit too high-pitched for me, and they end up sounding very similar to one another. Maybe it's just a me thing.
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Mar 21, 2022 22:32
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Honestly I've started watching shows in my native language with subs. Makes it so much easier to not stress about missing dialogue if my kids start talking, or if the sound is badly mixed. And, every now and then, you get a show that was originally in a different language, and it's subbed and dubbed at once, and there are contrasts between the two, which is great fun (my young kids enjoy a lot of Korean-made cartoons on Netflix).
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Mar 23, 2022 15:21
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Until early-to-mid-April I'm going to be switching to Monday-Thursday updates instead of MWF. I'm moving across the country and need the extra time, you see. It shouldn't take me too long to settle in but there you are.
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Mar 23, 2022 19:53
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Update 6: Everything is like an adventure to her  Why are you doing on the computer? Go outside so beautiful. 23. Our Next Chapter - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST  Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Dreams Of Love and Literature  Poems again. Same as last time, we go about 2/3 Sayori and 1/3 Natsuki. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Ohayou Sayori!  Just a few days ago, I never would have thought that I'd look forward to an extracurricular so much. But here I am, back for another club meeting and anticipating new antics from everybody. The usual scene awaits me as I step into the clubroom." SAYORI: "Hi Hisao~" HISAO: "Hey, Sayori. Looks like you're in a good mood today." SAYORI: "Ehehe~ I'm just still not used to you being in the club, that's all." HISAO: "Is that so… Well, it’s nice to see you so cheery. Anyway, what’s new?" SAYORI: "Oh, I've got some exciting news!" HISAO: "Eh? What's up?" SAYORI: "Did you know... That the student store sells that new brand of strawberry milk now?! I saw when I passed by on my way here!" Ah...I should've known better than to expect actual news from Sayori. HISAO: "Huh... I don't think I've tried that yet. I dunno, strawberry milk is usually too sweet for me." SAYORI: "Whaaaat? But it goes great with melon bread!" HISAO: "Sayori, you could eat a packet of raw sugar and you'd still say it's not sweet enough." SAYORI: "Hey! That's an exaggeration! Seriously though, it goes really well with bread. The milk is sweet, but it still has that unique, tart strawberry flavor that's eased by the richness of the milk. And when you pair that with fresh bread, the sweetness is spread out even more so that it has just the right amount of flavor." HISAO: "Wow, when did you become Gordon Ramsay?" SAYORI: "Hah! I'm a food expert, so you should trust me on this!" HISAO: "I mean, given how many snacks you eat every day, I don't doubt that you know your food well." SAYORI: "I'm gonna take that as a compliment, you meanie." So I'm a meanie for giving her a compliment? SAYORI: "Anyway! Aren't you hungry now? Talking about food always makes me hungry!" HISAO: "Now that you mention it, maybe a little..." SAYORI: "Great! Let's go to the student store and buy snacks together then!" Ah, now I see what she's playing at. I raise an eyebrow, and Sayori notices." SAYORI: "Ehehe, um, Hisao, why are you looking at me like that?" HISAO: "Well Sayori, I have a nagging suspicion that… You’re only trying to convince me to come because you don’t have any money. And you just want me to buy you a snack." SAYORI: "What? I would never do that!" HISAO: "Oh really? Then let’s see your purse." SAYORI: "Huh?" HISAO: "Your purse. Let’s see it." SAYORI: "Hahaha….Um…" Sayori laughs awkwardly as she pulls out her purse. She opens with it and dumps its contents onto the desks. Two small coins fall out. HISAO: "Tsk tsk tsk!" This little ruse might’ve actually worked had Sayori not pulled it on me numerous times when we were younger. The amount of times she managed to trick me into buying her another ice-cream… I guess some things never change. HISAO: "Nice try, Sayori." SAYORI: "No fair! How did you know?" HISAO: "Aha, now wouldn’t you like to know? Let’s just call it intuition." In response, she sticks her tongue out at me. Typical…  YURI: "Ahaha." Yuri suddenly giggles. HISAO: "Eh?" I didn’t notice she was eavesdropping. Looking over in her direction, I catch her peeking over the top of a book." YURI: "A-Ah! I wasn't listening or anything--! It was just...something in my book..." SAYORI: "Yuriiii… Tell Hisao to let me borrow some money..." YURI: "That's--! That’s none of my business, Sayori. Besides... You should only buy what you can responsibly afford... It’s shameful to manipulate people into doing or buying things for you." HISAO: "..." Wow, isn’t that a little harsh? I’m only messing around with Sayori, after all… YURI: "Ah--! Did I just... I-I didn't mean that!! T-that came out much harsher than I intended… Sorry…I just, well… Uu..." Yuri blushes in embarrassment, looking away from us while playing with a strand of her hair. YURI: "I-I apologize for how I've been acting lately..." It looks like she still might be a bit ashamed of how she acted yesterday. SAYORI: "Ehehe! You know, it's okay to be honest sometimes. You shouldn't always keep things that bother you to yourself." YURI: "That's... There's no way you could think that, after..."  SAYORI: "You were right, though... I shouldn’t trick people into buying me things." HISAO: "Funny how your ten-year-old self didn’t see it that way…" Yuri lets out a small laugh, covering her mouth with her hand. Even the way she laughs is so shy and proper. YURI: "Ah...is this mischievous behavior something Sayori used to display as a child, then?" HISAO: "Oh yeah. Although back then I fell for it, time and time again. You wouldn’t believe how much candy Sayori managed to con me out of…" SAYORI: "Uwaaa! Don’t make me out to be so sneaky, Hisao! Although those candies were soo good…" YURI: "I’m surprised, Sayori. Coming from you...I guess there's a little devil inside all of us, isn’t there?" SAYORI: "Ehehe..." MONIKA: "What’s going on here?" HISAO: "Oh, nothing much. Sayori here was just up to some mischief." MONIKA: "Oh?" HISAO: "Yeah, she tried to trick me into buying her a snack." SAYORI: "Heeeeey! That’s not true!" Monika smiles wryly and turns to me. MONIKA: "I’m assuming this isn’t the first time." HISAO: "Well, you’d be right." We all share a little chuckle at that. Well, everyone except Sayori does. SAYORI: "Hey! You guys are being really mean!" HISAO: "Okay, okay, we’re sorry. But, you did bring this upon yourself." SAYORI: "Yeah, I know… But in my defense, I am really hungry!" NATSUKI: "Well…" Natsuki chimes in. NATSUKI: "If you’re really that hungry… You can have this if you want." She offers up a giant cookie wrapped in plastic. Sayori immediately snatches it out of her hands. SAYORI: "Thank you thank you thank you!" Sayori hugs the cookie. HISAO: "Geez, just eat it..." Sayori rapidly tears open the wrapper and takes a big bite. SAYORI: "Sho good... Mmf--!" Sayori suddenly clasps her hands over her mouth. SAYORI: "I bit my tongue..." NATSUKI: "Ha. You're going through a lot over just one cookie." Natsuki takes a bite of her own cookie. SAYORI: "Ah, yours looks really good too, Natsuki! Can I try it?" NATSUKI: "Geez... Beggars can't be choosers!" SAYORI: "But yours is chocolate..." NATSUKI: "Yeah, why do you think I gave you that one?" SAYORI: "Fine... Still, I'm really happy that you shared this one with me. Ehehe~" Sayori gets out of her seat and goes behind Natsuki, then wraps her arms around her.  NATSUKI: "Ah-- Geez... I get it, I get it." Cookie still in hand, Natsuki reaches up to nudge Sayori off of her. SAYORI: "...Om." Sayori suddenly leans down and takes a bite out of Natsuki's cookie. NATSUKI: "H-Hey!! Did you seriously just do that?!" SAYORI: "Uhuhuhu!" Yuri, Monika and I laugh as well. NATSUKI: "Geez! You're such a kid sometimes! Monika! Can you tell Sayori to quit taking my stuff?" MONIKA: "Sayori, you know you shouldn’t do something like that without permission." Monika scolds Sayori. SAYORI: "I know, I know... I’m sorry Natsuki… But it was soooo good!" NATSUKI: "Hey!” Everyone but Natsuki chuckles." HISAO: "These things happen a lot, Monika?" MONIKA: "A little bit too much, to be honest. Ahaha! Don’t worry, it’s all in good fun." NATSUKI: "Good fun is teasing each other from time to time, NOT stealing food!" MONIKA: "Oh, calm down. It’s no big deal." NATSUKI: "Hmpf." Natsuki pouts in her seat. Sayori has already managed to finish the entire cookie. Meanwhile, Natsuki gets up and heads for the closet, and Yuri is already lost in her book. SAYORI: "Hisao, Hisao!" She suddenly comes up to me. SAYORI: "I need to get some stuff from another classroom. Can you come with me?~" HISAO: "‘Stuff’? What stuff?" SAYORI: "Well, you know how the festival’s right around the corner? Monika was gonna make some posters to advertise it! Sooo, we’ll need to get some crayons, and markers, and glue sticks, that kinda stuff." HISAO: "Ah right. Yeah, I’ll come with you." SAYORI: "Yaaay~ We’ll be back real soon, Monika!" MONIKA: "Ahaha, you seem quite excited about this, Sayori!" SAYORI: "Of course! It’s so much fun exploring empty classrooms! Isn’t that right, Hisao?" HISAO: "Uh…" Monika laughs and nods at us. MONIKA: "Okay - just don’t forget the poster paper." SAYORI: "I won’t! Ready, Hisao?" HISAO: "Uh huh. Let’s go."  Sayori and I exit the clubroom. I follow behind as she hums and skips around the hallway. Honestly..." It feels like I'm taking a kid to the mall or something. Sayori finds pleasure in the simplest things sometimes. Everything is like an adventure to her." HISAO: "Hey, Sayori... What exactly are we doing for the festival, anyway? I'm not sure how you would make an event out of literature..." SAYORI: "Ehehe! Monika and I have it all planned out! Don't you worry~" HISAO: "Is that so...?" SAYORI: "Yup! We're gonna do a poetry performance!" HISAO: "A performance...? Of what kind?" SAYORI: "Well... Everyone is gonna take turns on stage... And recite their favorite poems!" HISAO: "Ah… That sounds... Well uh, not exactly boring, but will people be that interested?" SAYORI: "Hisao! You're not thinking about it the right way at all! It's not just about reading poems... It's about performing them! Like, you say the lines of the poem like..." SAYORI: "Between my feet... The last remaining flower beckons to me. I twist the stem, freeing it from its clinging roots... Caressing the final joyous moment between my fingers. But to what ends have I summoned this joy? For now when I look in every direction... The once-prosperous field before me... Is but a barren wasteland!" SAYORI: "... Like that!!" HISAO: "Wow, Sayori. I had no idea you had that in you." SAYORI: "Huh? What do you mean?" HISAO: "I’ve just never heard you talk like that before." She grimaces. HISAO: "No no, it’s not a bad thing! It was really good! It was just a big contrast from your bubbly self. I’m sure Yuri or Monika would really appreciate it, too." SAYORI: "I’ve been working super hard on that poem! So it’s good to know you liked it, ehehe~ I’m excited for the festival!" HISAO: "Not just because we’ll get to eat loads of stuff, like Natsuki said?" SAYORI: "Hey, meanie! No, not just because of that! Although that is part of it, ehehe. Hey, Hisao, this classroom here is empty. I think we’ll find what we need in here. Let’s start our mission!" Strange choice of words for someone going into a classroom to get art supplies… But hey, that’s Sayori in a nutshell. Living in her own little world. Her childlike enthusiasm is infectious, and brings about a special feeling I forgot I had in me. Some kind of innocent sense of wonder, where even the most mundane of tasks are quests, and walking down the classroom is a magical journey. The two of us enter the classroom. Sayori heads straight to the closet, and I follow. SAYORI: "Let's see what we have in here... ...Crayons!!" Sayori pulls a box full of crayons off the shelf. SAYORI: "They're the best brand, too! They're kind of dirty, though..." Sayori starts pulling various crayons out of the box, reading the color names. HISAO: "Alright, that's one down. Don't get distracted, we still need to find--" SAYORI: "Wait, I'm looking for my favorite color..." HISAO: "Fine, fine... Can you move over so that I can look for the poster paper?" SAYORI: "Ah, I dropped one by accident--" Smack! The screen flashes white. SAYORI: "Kya--!" Sayori bends over and smacks her forehead right into the shelf. She falls to the floor, and the crayons spill all over her lap. SAYORI: "Owowowowow…" HISAO: "Sayori! Are you okay?" SAYORI: "My forehead..." Sayori clutches her forehead. HISAO: "What happened? Did you cut it? Is it bruised, or -" SAYORI: "No no, nothing like that...I think I just bumped it." HISAO: "Geez, Sayori...you really had me worried for a second there." I can’t help but let out a chuckle. This is such a typical thing to happen to Sayori. It’s almost like she’s got ‘clumsy’ written across her forehead. Which, fittingly enough, is where she’s hurt herself." SAYORI: "Heeeey! Why are you laughing, you meanie?" HISAO: "Ah, sorry, sorry! I’m not laughing at you or anything. It’s just...this is so typical of you." SAYORI: "What’s that meant to mean?" HISAO: "Nothing, nothing. Let me see your forehead." Since Sayori is sitting on the floor, I grab her by the waist and pull her out of the closet. HISAO: "You have to move your hands, Sayori..." SAYORI: "But it hurts..."  HISAO: "I’ll be gentle, I promise. It won’t hurt." Sayori slowly releases her hands from her forehead. I gently brush her bangs to the side.  SAYORI: "Ow--!" HISAO: "Sorry..." There's a huge red mark on the center of her forehead. A bump is starting to form, as well." HISAO: "Ah, don’t worry. It’s not that bad." SAYORI: "But it really hurts…" Her whimpering triggers a really strong protective instinct I didn’t know I had. HISAO: "Hey, I’ll get you some ice. It’ll keep the swelling down, and it should relieve a bit of the pain. Just stay here, okay? I’ll be back as soon as I can. Uhm...actually, where would I find some ice?" Think, Hisao, think! HISAO: "I got it! A cold drink should do the trick." SAYORI: "Are you sure? You don’t have to--! I think I make a -- a great unicorn--" Even wincing from the pain, Sayori makes a silly joke. HISAO: "I’m sure you make a great unicorn, but I think I prefer you as a human." SAYORI: "Aww...unicorns are so cool though…" HISAO: "Anyway, I’ll be right back, okay?" SAYORI: "O-Okay..." I pat Sayori on the shoulder and run out into the hallway. (Silence) I locate the nearest vending machine. HISAO: "What should I get...?" I guess it doesn’t really matter because she won’t be drinking it. But I know Sayori likes apple juice, so I purchase that one. In just a moment, I'm already returning to the classroom where I left Sayori. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - My Feelings She has one palm on her forehead and is using the other hand to clumsily scoop crayons back into the box. SAYORI: "At least they were already in the wrong spots before I spilled them..." HISAO: "Here you go." I hand Sayori the bottle of apple juice.  SAYORI: "It's nice and cold..." Sayori opens the cap and starts drinking from it. HISAO: "Sayori, what are you doing?! It's for your forehead, idiot!" SAYORI: "Ah-- Sorry, I forgot~ Ahahaha!" HISAO: "How hard did you hit your head...?" Sayori places the bottle against the bump on her head. Immediately her laughter subsides, replaced by a gasp of pain. SAYORI: "It stings..." HISAO: "I know, I know. I’m sorry. It’ll feel better soon though, I promise. Looks like you cleaned up most of the crayons, so that's good." SAYORI: "Hey, Hisao... This kind of reminds you of growing up, doesn't it...?" HISAO: "Huh? What do you mean?" SAYORI: "You know how we used to play outside all the time... I would always try to keep up with you. You were kind of oblivious in some ways... Like I usually fell behind or had trouble climbing on the things you did... But sometimes when I tried to do things I couldn't, I would get myself hurt. I’d fall and scrape myself, or get a bump... And I would start crying really hard. And you would rush over as quick as you could. You would try really hard to get me to stop crying. It was almost like you blamed yourself and were afraid of getting in trouble if someone found out... Even though it really wasn't your fault at all, you know?" HISAO: "Ahh, I remember those days. You were always so clumsy. And I guess not much has changed, haha." SAYORI: "Hey! I did this deliberately, you know!" I raise an eyebrow. SAYORI: "I’ve always wanted to be a unicorn…" HISAO: "That has to be perhaps the least believable excuse I’ve heard in a while." SAYORI: "Ehehe, okay, okay...I guess I’ve never really been on the graceful side…" HISAO: "I did always feel bad whenever you got hurt when we played together… Looking back I should’ve been more mindful of what you could and couldn’t do… I guess it’s the same here. If I hadn’t rushed you out of the closet, you probably wouldn’t have hurt yourself. My mother was right. She’d scold me after you got hurt, always telling me I had to be more careful around you." SAYORI: "Hisao... Don’t feel bad about it. It’s my own fault for being so clumsy. Besides, even if I got hurt, those times are still my favorite memories of us. It also made me realize how thoughtful you are." HISAO: "Huh? I wasn’t thoughtful at all, I just got you hurt." SAYORI: "No no, that’s not what I mean. You’re always looking out for me. Even after all these years...you always rush to help me. No matter what the situation...you’re always there to reassure me, and make me feel safe." HISAO: "I don’t really do this kind of thing all of the time… It’s just around you, it feels natural, I guess? I just do it subconsciously. Before I even know it, I’m treating you like that. Guess it’s what happens when you’ve been friends for so long." SAYORI: "... I don’t know if I’ve told you this before, but I’m really grateful we’re friends, Hisao. I’ll admit, I kinda missed you over the years. We used to hang out a lot. I was surprised when you approached me the other day. I wasn’t really sure what to make of it all at first. But as we got to hang out in the club, share poems, and walk home… I realized that nothing had really changed. Do you think we’ll be like this forever, Hisao?" As much as I want to say yes, there’s no telling how life will be for us during college, or even afterwards. Still, I can be positive, though. HISAO: "I sure hope so, Sayori. It's been this long already, right? I can't imagine you ever changing, so my hopes are up. We haven’t really talked in years, then when we do, it’s just like nothing’s really changed. I think I read somewhere that that’s a sign of a friendship that’s built to last. So here’s hoping." SAYORI: "I hope so too. Ah, I’m so happy…" Sayori has a whimsical expression in her eyes. We remain silent for a moment. Who’d have guessed that such a simple action to get some crayons would’ve resulted in such a heartfelt moment? Then again with Sayori it’s impossible to tell." SAYORI: "Anyway...I guess we should go back... I don't want to worry Monika, you know?" HISAO: "Good luck with that. She's gonna see your forehead either way." SAYORI: "Not if I hide it under my bangs~" Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Daijoubu! fadeout 1.0 Sayori hops to her feet.  SAYORI: "A-Aaahh--!" She clutches her forehead again. HISAO: "Sayori! Don't stand up so fast after hurting yourself!" SAYORI: "Uuu...sorry…" HISAO: "Well, I guess it's too late now... Anyway, let's go." Sayori plays with her bangs to try to "In a moment, we make it back to the clubroom. MONIKA: "Ah, you're back! Good timing, I was just about ready to start with sharing our poems. Eh? Sayori, your forehead..." SAYORI: "I was playing with the crayons and smacked my forehead into the shelf!" HISAO: "..." MONIKA: "..." MONIKA: "Are you okay, Sayori?" SAYORI: "Yeah, I’m fine! Hisao got me a nice cold drink!" MONIKA: "...Right, okay. Glad you’re okay, Sayori. Did you get everything we needed?" SAYORI: "Uh-huh! I have it right-- ...Eh?" Sayori frantically glances around herself. SAYORI: "I...forgot all of the stuff!!" HISAO: "Calm down, Sayori. I have it all right here. I found the poster paper, too." MONIKA: "Ahaha! Sounds like you ended up doing all the work, Hisao." HISAO: "Ah, well, Sayori--" I fail to come up with an excuse for Sayori. SAYORI: "I made it an adventure!" HISAO: "...Yeah, that." MONIKA: "Ahaha, okay, okay. In any case, good work! I'll start working on the posters tonight. Thanks, you two. Are you ready to share your poems?" HISAO: "Guess I should grab mine..." After making sure the crayon box is closed tightly, I return to my seat.
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Mar 24, 2022 20:30
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I'm reserving judgement until we get to the point where DDLC brings in the twist. So far it's a lot of the VN stereotypes the original game uses to create a sense of the uncanny, just more of them and played straight for longer.
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Mar 24, 2022 23:42
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Disability Corner: The Why-Don’t-You Conversation Forgive me, goons, for I have sinned. I engaged in manipulative behavior to spark a specific response from somebody. It blew up in my face, which serves me right, but I feel compelled to lay out my actions as I seek forgiveness. I won’t name names here because they didn’t do anything wrong and I don’t want them to go down and posterity for this, but a little while ago somebody made a post wondering why I hadn’t gone back and actually played the game; it’s short, free, and might have helped me pick up a few things I was missing. They (fairly) compared it to me sitting in Plato’s cave. My response posted:It's the content. Long story short, I have two issues I don't think I could overcome: Every minority has a complicated relationship with those members of the majority trying to help them out. While we always appreciate help in spirit, the kinds of help on offer can vary in effectiveness, even backfire. This happens all kinds of ways: focusing conversations on their guilt or observations instead of the minority in question, getting bogged down in debates over appropriate language, making or taking over activist organizations and shunting minority members out, ramming through solutions for problems that minority doesn’t really care about, assuming they know more about the issues than somebody who lives with it whether consciously or not, the works. For us, the last two have a habit of meeting and something that I don’t think has a formal name, but I called the why-don’t-you conversation. Every disabled person is familiar with the pattern. At some point in conversation with somebody else, they’ll bring up something they struggle with in their day-to-day life. The other side will then offer some solution, usually off-the-cuff. The first person will dismiss it (with varying levels of politeness), frustrating the second and prompting them to either push back or offer a different solution. What was a friendly chat quickly becomes a debate; party B will go on the offensive, coming up with ideas and pressing any that might stick, while party A keeps swatting things down with increasing frustration. If they both get lucky, party B will eventually come up with something party A likes the sound of, but in my experience that’s actually very rare; usually either party A will knuckle under and reluctantly promise to try something with no intention to follow through, or the conversation will get more and more bitter until one or both just give up and tries to redirect the conversation. Either that or people just storm off, what was once a friendly social interaction having transmogrified into a fight. Party B is usually frustrated and confused. They’re probably not thinking about it this way, but they just attempted to engage in a standard class of social interaction: commiserate with someone over their troubles and offer some support in these trying times. Their advice almost always comes from their personal experience and values, and while sometimes they’re just trying to sell party A their MLM garbage or something, more often than not they’re proposing things they think will actually work. And then party A dismisses or criticizes everything they have to offer. It registers as an unprovoked insult and makes it seem like party A is being unreasonably difficult, so party B responds appropriately. It’s a lovely experience all round that often ends with burned bridges. Party A, of course, had a very different experience. It’s impossible for them to know what party B actually wanted out of the conversation, but whatever they were shooting for, it’s kind of irrelevant. See, however good your intentions, there’s a quiet but profound arrogance to expecting you can offer useful solutions for disability if you don’t share it. This goes beyond intent, reasoning, and empathy to a fundamental misunderstanding of the nature of disability – treating someone’s disability like a one-off health condition instead of a complicated condition with social pressures and expectations behind it. That’s a very treacherous path to take. For many people, catching a cold, breaking a bone, and going through a really gnarly breakup don’t feel much different. I mean, obviously those are all different problems caused by different circumstances, but the lived experience isn’t all that different. First, some outside force (a snotty kid, a bad fall, your loving ex) comes along and causes them harm. Maybe it was preventable (they could’ve avoided the child, they could’ve watched where they were going, they could’ve not thought with their junk), maybe it wasn’t (they caught it from a passing rando, they slipped on black ice, their relationship went down in flames naturally), but either way, it comes on suddenly and it’s here to stay until they heal. Next, they consult a professional (the doctor, the doctor, the love doctor); they already know roughly what’s going on, they just need to make sure the treatments they want to take will actually fit the problem and get their hands on treatments they’d need a specialist to handle. After that, they start using their treatments and wait. During this period, they can still get things done, but the condition makes it way, way harder (they’re sore and exhausted, they have limited range of motion, their emotions are going haywire), but while the treatments don’t fix the problem, they keep the symptoms under control. From here, they have two paths. In one, they keep pushing, trying to act normal despite the problems still hanging in the background. Since they’re not giving whatever it is the chance to heal, they’ll inevitably make it worse until it evolves into something with bigger repercussions (they’ll catch pneumonia, it’ll heal wrong, they’ll swear off relationships). If they do take it easy, use the treatments right, and let the problem heal on its own, though, things go right back to normal. They make a full recovery. Sure, it might have minor negative effects in the long-term; maybe their weakened immune system will let them catch the flu, maybe their limb might be weaker, maybe they’ll have trouble trusting someone else. But more likely they’ll now be immune to that cold strain, know to look out for black ice, or develop better taste. It didn’t kill them, so it made them stronger, and it just becomes another entry in their personal history. If that’s the only way you know how to approach a health condition, of course that’s how you’ll approach somebody’s disability. Of course you’ll try to hustle them along that route; it’s what works for you, it’s what always works, it’s the only way you know how to approach an issue like this, so of course somebody reacting badly won’t make sense to you. It comes from a place of ignorance, but ignorance isn’t malice and it doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, just overzealous. Hell, even other disabled people fall into this trap sometimes. You might get, say, an autistic person why-don’t-youing a deaf person about cochlear implants. Which I did once, and immediately started kicking myself because that’s just embarrassing, come on. Even most disabled people gone through this process successfully before and can unconsciously assume it still holds everywhere. It’s hard to blame you if it’s all you know. Trouble is, by its nature disability makes that process fall apart. Identifying a concrete cause gives you some control over your situation, which in turn makes it psychologically easier to bear; it isn’t as helpful if the causes are so distant and fundamental you can’t come to terms with them or actions most people could just get away with. You can’t really count on doctors if they habitually dismiss your concerns or won’t even let you in the door. Even if you get through to them, the treatments they offer might be ruinously expensive or potentially traumatizing, and sometimes standard medical wisdom might make your condition worse. And, of course, if you have one of the many, many disabilities without a meaningful cure, your body will never “correct” itself no matter what you do. The why-don’t-you conversation springs from that model, and the moment it no longer applies you start getting a lot of question marks. But why-don’t-you conversations aren’t just condescending or unrealistic: they bring social pressures along with it. If you sit down in front of a disabled person and ask them “have you heard of” or “have you tried” or “why don’t you”, whether you realize it or not you’re operating off the assumption that you know something about their disability that they don’t, despite the fact that they live with it every day. That’s a red flag. You are sitting down in front of a member of a minority and talking like they don’t know their own experience better than you do. Who does that? But many people don’t think of us as a minority with any kind of identity or unified experience, just a bunch of individuals with health conditions, so they’ll just move in. That puts us on edge, because we can guess this person just started talking without knowing what the talking about. Then comes the maneuvering. It’d be one thing if these were only polite suggestions we could politely discuss and rationally dismiss if necessary, but that’s usually not the case – remember, despite appearances these suggestions aren’t just stray thoughts, they’re often strongly grounded in personal beliefs or life history. We have to tell people they don’t know what they’re talking about and we don’t intend to listen to them, and that’s a lot to ask at the best of times. And if you do the “nice” thing and promised to take it under advisement? Well… See, “advice with follow-ups on your progress isn’t advice, it’s a command” might seem a little obvious, but a lot of people out there genuinely don’t grasp the distinction, or if they do, they think of themselves as meddlers or busybodies and cheerfully push anyway. We can never know whether a politely phrased suggestion carries real expectations, and we have too much experience watching people break promises that things are otherwise. Buckling under may put us in a position where we have to do something we know is going to backfire or social repercussions. And if the other person is an authority figure, or a loved one, or someone we want to impress? Now we have to choose between hurting ourselves for our relationships. Adding an ulterior motive – political beliefs, something you’re trying to sell – makes it clear you’ll benefit from this dilemma, which makes it even worse. And if it comes from someone who can compel you to follow that advice, like a parent, boss, or caregiver? You may not have the option to refuse without serious consequences. It takes a lot of trust and patience not to get your guard up when you see this coming. Watching a casual chat turn into a social minefield like this is annoying at best and outright dangerous at worst; there are plenty more dramatic ways to piss off and alienate a disabled person, but few are as energy-efficient. Fortunately, why-don’t-you conversations aren’t exactly hard to avoid starting; just stay humble and don’t push. Most of us either don’t want to talk about our disability, or we REALLY want to talk about our disability and if you lend us a genuine ear you won’t get us to shut up about it. Our lives can be hard, but they’re also our lives; we kind of know what we’re doing most of the time. And that’s all you have to keep in mind.
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Mar 26, 2022 18:27
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I'm reading through the Katawa Shoujo thread now (thanks to this thread bringing it to my attention) so forgive me if anything I say in the meantime has been brought up before. Also don't mind me if I ramble, I often have the choice of writing stream of consciousness or agonizing over getting a post right so much that I don't write anything at all. People instinctively assume the way they experience the world is the default, and something that would work for them would work for everyone. So they hear of a problem, and go "Oh hey, I know how I would deal with that!" and get upset when you try to explain why that's not going to work in your case. As funny as it is to give advice right after saying that, I've found that a better approach is active listening. Listen to what someone is saying and reflect. Make them feel heard. That alone makes a huge difference in a lot of cases. On the opposite side of things, some people have disabilities and don't realize because of the same issue. They experience the world one way, so they assume that's just how everyone is. One example I hold near and dear to my heart, was when I was talking to my parents about my face-blindness and partial aphantasia. I said that if I closed my eyes, I couldn't picture their faces even though they were my parents. My mother responded "That's normal, nobody can do that".
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Mar 26, 2022 23:15
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JeffRaze posted:People instinctively assume the way they experience the world is the default, and something that would work for them would work for everyone. So they hear of a problem, and go "Oh hey, I know how I would deal with that!" and get upset when you try to explain why that's not going to work in your case. As funny as it is to give advice right after saying that, I've found that a better approach is active listening. Listen to what someone is saying and reflect. Make them feel heard. That alone makes a huge difference in a lot of cases. I think that's true for a lot of things. I've experienced that at least twice in my life. The first was after getting glasses for the first time. I hadn't realized just how fuzzy things were until I saw them clearly through glasses. The second was when my parents told me I had Asperger's. Suddenly, everything about me that felt off, that I assumed people were just better at ignoring like the cafeteria always being too loud or certain fabrics making me just go 'No' on instinct, felt different. Because not everyone was like that. Just people like me. It was at once freeing and lonely at the same time. I remember when I was a teenager, I read a book with different accounts of people growing up with Asperger's. My mom read it after me, and then came to me and said that it sounded really lonely to her. To me, it didn't feel that way. I was reading about all these people like me living happy and healthy lives and is sounded wonderful. Just not to my mom. ...I think that says a lot.
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Mar 26, 2022 23:50
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Update 7: And although their poems may seem to be about one thing at first… With another readthrough, you might find that there's actually a deeper meaning behind the words Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Okay, Everyone!  Whom should I show my poem to? >Sayori >Natsuki >Yuri >Monika =>Sayori  SAYORI: "... Hisao... Your poems are seriously amazing! I can’t believe you never told me how good a poet you were!" HISAO: "Huh? Sayori, I’m really not that great. You’re the only one who likes my poems this much." SAYORI: "Really?" HISAO: "Ah, I guess I’ll be honest with you. I find it easier to write poems when I’m uh...thinking about our memories together." SAYORI: "Eh? R-Really?" HISAO: "Sounds a bit strange, doesn’t it?" I nervously laugh, noticing the blush that’s crept up on Sayori’s cheeks. HISAO: "I dunno, I feel like my life’s kinda...boring? Like whatever happens in it is just literally that. Whereas with you… Well, whenever I look back on our memories. Everything seemed to be such an adventure whenever you were around. Like when we went exploring in that forest near our house, aaaaages ago. You made it seem like it was an exciting adventure, kinda like we were both archaeologists or something. Whereas if I went there myself, I’d just think I was going for a stroll in a forest." I glance over at Sayori. She has a faraway look on her face, wearing a wistful smile. SAYORI: "Ehehe. Yeah, I remember that… I was convinced there were spooky wood trolls out there! Uwaaa…" HISAO: "That’s exactly what I mean. You’ve got such a vivid imagination. And I guess I can tap into that imagination whenever I’m thinking about you. We have this sorta connection. Yeah, I guess that’s what I’m trying to say. And it’s still there, even after all these years." SAYORI: "I think I sorta understand what you mean! Can I ask a favor of you, Hisao?" HISAO: "What’s up?"  SAYORI: "Can I uh...keep this poem? This is um...the first time you’ve written something for me." HISAO: "Errr… Sorry, I don’t mean to be rude or anything but… I didn’t write it for you. But okay, you can keep it. I still don’t think my poetry skills are anything special…" SAYORI: "I can have it? Yay!!! Thank you!" HISAO: "H-hold on, Sayori. Not everyone has read my poem yet, so I think it'd be unfair to give you my poem right now." SAYORI: "Oh, that's true... I should've thought of the others first..." HISAO: "Haha, it's fine. I get that you're just excited. I'll give it to you later, okay?" SAYORI: "Okay!" HISAO: "Anyway. I still need to read yours." SAYORI: "Oh! Ahaha, I totally forgot! It’s nowhere near as good as yours, though…" HISAO: "I’m sure I’ll like it." Doki Doki Literature Club! OST Disc 2 - 02 Okay, Everyone! (Sayori)  Bottles posted:I pop off my scalp like the lid of a cookie jar. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Okay, Everyone! HISAO: "Wow, Sayori. I didn’t expect this at all. Did you really write this?" SAYORI: "Of course I did! Remember, I said I’d write the best poem ever yesterday! Well, here it is! After all, Monika has taught me a lot! And I’ve been really in touch with my feelings recently." HISAO: "So that’s what this poem’s about?" I suppose that much was obvious. Unlike Yuri’s or Monika’s poems, Sayori’s are relatively simple to figure out. HISAO: "So uh, if I’ve interpreted this correctly… You’re basically doing everything you can to keep your friends happy?" SAYORI: "Yaaay, you got it! I really enjoyed writing this one. Just getting your thoughts out onto paper, and turning them into a poem...it’s like magic!" HISAO: "Well, I think it’s amazing. You should be really proud of it." SAYORI: "Aha...thank you Hisao, that means a lot. I didn’t think it was that good though…" HISAO: "Nah, it’s great, seriously." I can’t help but notice that the latter half of the poem isn’t quite as cheery. In fact, it’s somewhat alarming - a very dark contrast from the cheeriness I’m used to with Sayori. HISAO: "Although uh...maybe I’m looking into this a little too much, but the end of the poem is pretty...dark? And you said you’ve been in touch with your feelings recently, so I’m just checking - is everything okay?" SAYORI: "Of course, silly!"  SAYORI: "Remember I said I like bittersweet stuff, right? Stuff that’s not just happy, remember? Or too sad? This is what I mean."  SAYORI: "It’s just my writing style." HISAO: "Ah okay, that makes sense, I guess. Well either way, I’m glad you’re enjoying writing so much. I hope you keep it up. Good to have a hobby." SAYORI: "Of course! And hopefully you’ll also stick with it. So I look forward to seeing all the poems you write in the future!" Well, no guarantees there. But just from seeing the passion in Sayori’s eyes...it’s hard to be pessimistic. =>Natsuki  Natsuki reads my poem, occasionally glancing up at me from the page. NATSUKI: "...You haven’t done this before, right?" HISAO: "Uh...is that an insult or a compliment." NATSUKI: "N-No! I mean, uh… It’s not what I expected from someone like you… So I thought you’ve maybe did this before." HISAO: "Well, no, I’ve never written poems before... But why do you ask? Better than what you expected?" I grin smugly as Natsuki fumbles her words. NATSUKI: "D-Don’t get the wrong idea! It was better than yesterday's, yeah, but… Y-You just got lucky! You won’t always be able to write something like this again. But… Maybe if you learned from a pro, your odds of success would increase!" HISAO: "Haha, alright then, let’s see your poem." NATSUKI: "Read it and weep!" Welp, looks like I did a couple things wrong here. Firstly, and most egregiously, I badly misread the code. I may have access to the script, but I’m only reading an update or two ahead not to spoil the surprises. I thought there were only three results for each owner, but I underestimated the developers; turns out they have a variety of results for each character after each poem, heavily influenced by how past poems have been received. Secondly, I think I had the word threshold wrong for the results. Note to self: eight of a character’s words will get you her good reaction. =>Yuri  YURI: "...I-I’m sorry if I’ve offended you…?" HISAO: "Eh?!" YURI: "I said that Sayori’s writing style wasn’t the best... But it seems that you prefer that style to mine. So in a way... I was saying that your writing style is bad as well!" HISAO: "Yuri, that’s a bit of a leap…" YURI: "I hope you can f-forgive me..." HISAO: "Yuri... It’s okay for you to have an opinion. That doesn’t make you evil..." YURI: "I should have known this would happen… If I try to prepare my words, I just sound awkward and weird. But if I just try to speak my mind, I come off as unfiltered, and people dislike me anyway... So...please don't force yourself to be around me. I know this is what Monika wants. But it’s clear that you’d be happier if you spent more time around the others..." HISAO: "Yuri--" YURI: "Please... You don’t have to pity me, i-it’s okay... Besides... I have my books with me. They’ll never abandon me, or leave me alone. They’re…all I’ve ever needed, anyway…" HISAO: "..." Yuri "I really didn’t mean to upset her, but no matter what I say, she won’t listen to me. She really seems to think I hate her, although that couldn’t be further from the truth. I sigh to myself. All I can do is accept that that's how she is. If she actually wants to be alone, I’ll have to respect that request and leave her be." On the flipside, I didn’t anticipate too bad reactions in a row would work out like THIS. She doesn’t even share her poem with us or anything, her route is just closed off. Well, them’s the breaks  =>Monika  MONIKA: "Hi again, Hisao! I'm trusting that the club's been doing you well?" HISAO: "Same answer as yesterday." MONIKA: "Ehehe, that's nice to hear. So how's the writing going?" HISAO: "Alright, I guess..." MONIKA: "Just "alright,” hmm?" HISAO: "No, I guess I should say that it's revolutionized my world and brought color into my previously lifeless, er, life." Well, I say that, but the club, if not the poetry, really has made my days more interesting. MONIKA: "Okay, okay. Can it with the sarcasm, mister. At least you're not hating it though, right?" HISAO: "Nah, it's been an interesting experience at least. Gives me a new hobby to do." MONIKA: "I'm happy that you're applying yourself at least. Maybe soon you'll come up with a masterpiece!" HISAO: "Ahaha, I wouldn't count on that..." MONIKA: "You never know! Want to share what you wrote for today?" HISAO: "Sure... Here you go." I give my poem to Monika. MONIKA: "..." MONIKA: "I can see that you put in some good effort there. Very sincere poem, once again. And very similar to Sayori's poetry. You might still have more in common with her than you think." HISAO: "Hmm, maybe. It's easier to write about from my heart when I'm thinking about nostalgic things. So that might be it." MONIKA: "Ah, writing poetry while wearing rose tinted glasses, then?" HISAO: "Well, it's not like I do it intentionally… That's just how my brain works." MONIKA: "Poetry can be seen as another way to express your inner emotions. A way that you can use when ordinary prose can't quite describe what's in your mind. So writing about how your long lost childhood friend makes you feel is just as valid as, say… Writing about how the human condition is inherently full of conflict." HISAO: "I'm guessing that the latter is more of a Yuri poem?" MONIKA: "You might think that… But actually, a style like Sayori's could still fit that theme just as well." HISAO: "Really? How do you figure?" MONIKA: "Well, first off, have you ever heard of the poet Robert Frost?" HISAO: "I think I have, probably in an English class somewhere." MONIKA: "I wouldn't be surprised if you learned about him in class. He's an incredibly famous American poet, after all. Anyway, it's easy to recognize his poetry, since he always used classic meters and tons of monologues and dialogues. He was also pretty fond of themes centering around nature and New England." HISAO: "Hmm… Correct me if I'm wrong, but that doesn't really sound anything like Sayori's poetry." MONIKA: "No, you're actually right. She doesn't have the lyricism that Frost has, and not too many of their themes intersect. I guess that the mood of their poetry is what strikes me as similar. Both of them write incredibly sincere and powerful poems, even though they aren't mind-bogglingly complex or anything. And although their poems may seem to be about one thing at first… With another readthrough, you might find that there's actually a deeper meaning behind the words." HISAO: "That does sound a bit more like Sayori's poetry. Is she really that deep?" MONIKA: "Hisao, you shouldn't underestimate Sayori. In fact, why don't you ask her for another look at her poetry? Then you'll see what I mean." HISAO: "Alright, alright. I'll talk to her about it sometime. But in the meantime… You wanna show me yours? I think it's about time we let your poem shine." MONIKA: "Sure thing, Hisao! I like the way this one turned out, so I hope you do too~" HISAO: "Alright, let's take a look." Doki Doki Literature Club! OST Disc 2 - 05 Okay, Everyone! (Monika)  Pressurized posted:I float there. The poem makes use of whitespace to simulate the feel of spiraling down in ways that Something Awful’s formatting just does not want to preserve. I’ve kept what I can in. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Okay, Everyone! HISAO: "Hm... It's even more abstract than your last one, huh? Really, er-- freeform too, if that's what you call it." MONIKA: "Ahaha... I guess it's just the way I write... I'm sorry if you don't like it." HISAO: "No, I never said that. It's just a kind of thing I've never really seen before, I guess. The other girls don't do this stuff nearly as much as you, at least." MONIKA: "Hmm, yeah, you could say that they're a bit more traditional when it comes to their structure. But I kind of like playing with my space on the paper... Choosing where and how to space your words can totally change the mood of the poem. It's almost like magic. The way I wrote the lines really short makes it feel like they're trying to speak over the noise. It fragments everything, and leaves a dissonant tone with the reader." HISAO: "I see... I guess that there's a lot of things you can do with poetry." MONIKA: "Definitely; poetry is very much an artform. You're meant to craft poems using never before seen combinations of words to interpret the world around you." HISAO: "You really love poetry, huh? Maybe you should write a poem about poetry someday." MONIKA: "Ahaha, that's not a bad idea!" HISAO: "Anyway, it's still hard for me to tell what your poem's about." MONIKA: "Hmm, sometimes asking what a poem is about isn't the right question. A poem can be as abstract as a physical expression of a feeling. Or a conversation with the reader. So putting it that way, not every poem is about something. Anyway..." MONIKA: "Here's Monika's Writing Tip of the Day! Are you ever too shy to share your writing because you're afraid it's not that good? Now, we've all had to experience that at this point with the poetry discussions and all… But it can be really disheartening to get a lukewarm response to something you put so much into. If you find other people who enjoy writing though, then sharing becomes a lot easier! Because instead of just telling you that your writing is good, or okay, or bad... They'll want to focus more on everything that went into it, and the things you can work on. It's much more encouraging that way, and it will make you want to continue improving." Yeah, it definitely is more helpful getting real criticism and feedback rather than just empty words. I guess I've really hit the motherlode with the Literature Club. MONIKA: "...That's my advice for today! Thanks for listening~" Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Doki Doki Literature Club! (Main Theme) MONIKA: "Okay, everyone! We're all done reading each other's poems, right?"  YURI: "Actually... Natsuki and I haven't shared yet." Uh oh. I can feel a storm coming on. Yuri hesitantly approaches Natsuki, who isn't meeting her eyes. Is she still angry with Yuri? It wouldn't be out of character for her to be... And considering Natsuki's poem for today, it's no wonder that she doesn't want to share with Yuri. Judging by Monika and Sayori's anxious expressions, they seem to be thinking along the same lines as I am. I can practically see Natsuki sweating pinballs. Meanwhile, Yuri appears to be blissfully unaware of the situation. I'd convinced Natsuki to reconcile with Yuri, but if she sees Natsuki's poem... Well, it's all over." YURI: "S-so...Natsuki, if I may...?" NATSUKI: "Urk--" YURI: "...?" NATSUKI: "H-how about we do this tomorrow instead? I'm not - er, feeling well. It's my time of the month!" I can practically see Monika internally facepalming. Natsuki must've forgotten that the club isn't all girls anymore..." YURI: "Ah, is that so? I'm sorry, you must feel absolutely terrible if you can't even share your poem today." NATSUKI: "You don't need to apologize, it's not your fault... I can definitely share tomorrow." YURI: "Ah... Well, even if you aren't well enough to share your own poem, would you like to see mine?" NATSUKI: "...?" YURI: "I...umm...wrote it thinking of our argument the other day. I suppose that I wanted to ...As a way of repenting... I-I know that it's not much, but-- Hopefully this can contribute to a reconciliation between us. Although we may have our disagreements, I would like to consider you a friend. …And friends forgive each other... Uuu...I'm sorry if that's presumptuous of me to say..." NATSUKI: "No...it's not presumptuous of you to say that. Because I'd like to consider you a friend too. S-so you can hand over that poem then!" With a shy smile, Yuri hands the sheet of paper in her hands over to Natsuki. As Natsuki reads the poem, her eyes widen. NATSUKI: "You...you're writing using rhyme and stuff? Like me?" YURI: "You could say that you convinced me to practice adding more lyricism to my poetry." Natsuki looks like she's speechless, for once.  NATSUKI: "T-thanks Yuri. It's awesome." YURI: "There's really no need to thank me." NATSUKI: "Well, I'm really glad that I got to know you.”  NATSUKI: “And I'll definitely have something that'll knock your socks off tomorrow!" YURI: "Then I'll be looking forward to that. I do hope that you feel better tomorrow as well, so that you could share your work with me then." NATSUKI: "Hah! Yeah! Of course!" That was a crisis and a half avoided. I'm really glad that Natsuki and Yuri worked things out, and it seems that Monika and Sayori feel the same way." MONIKA: "It's good to see everyone getting along! Now that we are done sharing though, I have something to discuss with you all. There's a great opportunity for expanding the club that's coming up!" NATSUKI: "Is this about the festival?" MONIKA: "You could say that..." NATSUKI: "Ugh. Do we really have to do something? It's only in a few days, so it’s not like we’ll be able to come up with anything good." YURI: "Y-yes, that’s something I’m concerned about as well. With such little time left to prepare, I doubt we’ll be able to put together anything good enough to attract new members." NATSUKI: "Yeah! We’ll just end up embarrassing ourselves!" MONIKA: "Oh, don't worry so much! We're going to keep it simple, okay? Nothing more than a few decorations. I can design some pamphlets to hand out at the event, and Sayori made posters to put up around the school." NATSUKI: "Okay, that's great and all... But that doesn't tell us what we're actually going to be doing for the event." MONIKA: "Sorry, sorry. I'm getting ahead of myself. We’re going to put on a poetry performance!" NATSUKI: "A what?" YURI: "P-p... Um, Monika..." MONIKA: "Everyone’s going to choose one poem to recite out loud! It doesn't have to be written by you, as long as you put your heart into the recitation. Although of course, it'd be great if you could present one you wrote yourself. And the cool part is, we're also going to let anyone else come up and recite their poems too!" SAYORI: "Yeah! I put a thing on the posters that says 'Bring your own poems!' It’s gonna be so cool!" Sayori pulls a poster out of her bag and holds it up for us to see. NATSUKI: "Are you kidding me, Monika? Don’t tell me you started putting those posters up already." MONIKA: "Eh? Well, I did... Do you really think it's that bad of an idea...?" NATSUKI: "Well, you didn’t even ask us before you started advertising! We never agreed to stand up in front of a bunch of random people and perform our poems!" YURI: "I...I agree with Natsuki! I could never...in my life...do something like that..." Imagining it, Yuri shakes her head in fear.  SAYORI: "Guys..." MONIKA: "Yes, let’s please calm down and take a moment to think about it. I understand that you two haven’t had much experience sharing your poems out loud… In fact, we all haven't done that much. …But I still think we should try our best! Look around!" Monika motions to all of us. MONIKA: "We’re all here because we have passion for literature and this club! Don’t you want to share that passion with other people? To inspire them to pursue their inner writer?" SAYORI: "Yeah! It’s all about exploring yourself and trying new things, all while having fun!" Monika and I nod our heads in agreement. Natsuki and Yuri, on the other hand, remain silent. Guess that means it’s my turn to say something. HISAO: "I mean, I don’t think it’s that much to ask… As Monika said, we’re all here cause we care about the club and want to see it flourish. And if all that means is a two minute poetry performance, then I think we can manage." Sayori and Monika’s faces light up as I finish speaking. NATSUKI: "Hey, it isn’t like we don’t care about the club! It’s just… Do we really have to perform? You know how hard it is to get new members. It’s because people are just narrow-minded jerks...they don’t even give literature a chance! Who’s to say this festival will be any different?" YURI: "I-I’m inclined to agree with Natsuki. I’m sorry, Monika, I know how much you want to do this, but...I just can’t imagine performing in front of a crowd of strangers." Well, at least Yuri and Natsuki have proven they can agree on something… Monika sighs, her eyes closed as she rubs her temples. MONIKA: "Look, guys, I know you’re anxious. I understand that, I really do. To be honest with you, I’m a little bit nervous myself, ahaha… After all, it’s my club, so people are going to judge me the most if our performance doesn’t go well. Natsuki, if it makes you feel any better, a few of my friends will be coming along. They’re lovely people! They won’t judge you for your tastes. I’ve known them for a few years, trust me." Natsuki huffs, turning away. She doesn’t look particularly convinced. MONIKA: "And Yuri...I know it’s a scary thought. But I’ve thought of a way to ease you into it." YURI: "Hmm?" MONIKA: "Why don’t we start by practicing our poems to each other in the club?" NATSUKI: "N-N-No way!!" YURI: "Monika...! This is too sudden...!" MONIKA: "Well, if you can't recite your poem in front of the club, how do you expect to do it in front of strangers?" YURI: "B-but..." NATSUKI: "Monika! There’s just gotta be something else we can do." Yuri nods vigorously at Natsuki’s words, anxiety written all over her face. SAYORI: "But guys!!-" MONIKA: "No, Sayori. It’s okay. If you guys really think we can do better than a poetry performance, then I’ll gladly go along with an alternative... So, any ideas?" An awkward silence fills the room. We all glance at each other anxiously before Sayori finally speaks up. SAYORI: "Ooo! We could-" Sayori stops and thinks to herself for a moment. SAYORI: "Wait no, nevermind… That wouldn’t work…" Once again, the room falls silent. MONIKA: "Well then… I guess we can’t come up with something different after all, ahaha!" Monika laughs, attempting to ease the tension in the room. MONIKA: "I know you guys might not be the most on board with this idea, but I think it’s our best option. Please guys, please?" NATSUKI: "Can you stop pressuring us?" I’m honestly surprised Natsuki’s putting up such a resistance. I knew she was a little hot-headed, but even still. MONIKA: "I’m not pressuring you, Natsuki!" Both of them have raised their voice. Yuri looks a little startled, and Sayori looks anxious to intervene. SAYORI: "Uwaaa, guys! Please, there’s no need to get angry! Can’t we just discuss this normally?" Monika reflects on Sayori’s words, looking a little ashamed of her outburst. MONIKA: "Ah, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to raise my voice. It’s just...this festival is important to me, that’s all. Ever since I created this club, I’ve always wanted to show other people. Natsuki, Yuri. I imagine you were both a little apprehensive when Hisao joined, right? After all, he was an unfamiliar face." She smiles warmly at me. MONIKA: "But look, he’s integrating really well. He’s made the effort to get to know us and our individual writing styles." She turns to Yuri. MONIKA: "And Yuri - remember at the start, when he asked you for a book recommendation?" Yuri nods, and Monika shoots her a knowing smile. MONIKA: "Must’ve been lovely, being able to share a book you’re so passionate about with a new person, right?" YURI: "Yes, it was enjoyable discussing it with you, Hisao." HISAO: "Yeah, likewise! It isn’t something I’d normally read, so without you it would’ve gone by unnoticed." MONIKA: "See, guys? Maybe we’ll find more people who’re just as into horror, Yuri. More like-minded people...now come on, tell me that isn’t an appealing idea?" YURI: "Yes, of course. But really, my biggest issue is with the actual performance aspect of the festival..." MONIKA: "Well, like I said - I know it’s a scary thought, performing in front of a bunch of strangers. But trust me when I say I have full faith in you. In all of you. Your poems are amazing, guys! I just know people will love them. It’s almost criminal not to return, So, what do you think, guys? For me? For us?" NATSUKI: "Ugh, fine! I still don’t think this is a good idea, but fine, I’ll do it. Just stop guilt tripping us!" Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 01:59 on Mar 30, 2022 |
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Mar 29, 2022 02:05
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There's a couple of lines that appear to have been truncated, when Monika is first talking about the idea and just after her outburst. Searching for the following string picks them out: code:
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Mar 29, 2022 03:15
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Falconier111 posted:
I think something also happened to this bit here Also about spacing, if you want to try and preserve poems as presented you could use whitespace characters (though it'd be a copy paste job that's kind of a pain for how much Monika does different levels of indenting). "em space" is the widest and works as far as I can tell. em space posted:In vast, hollow emptiness
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Mar 29, 2022 17:55
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 The script has all kinds of whitespace and strange formatting that make it impossible to edit directly; I have to dump all the formatting to get it to work. Unfortunately, for some reason I also lose the ends of lines sometimes and sometimes something catches and I get dumb errors like that.
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Mar 30, 2022 01:57
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Update 8: I’m impressed, and judging by a quick glance around me, so is everyone else.  Huh? My watch stopped working… Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Doki Doki Literature Club! (Main Theme) MONIKA: "Phew… Thanks Natsuki. And you, Yuri?" Yuri nervously glances at each of our expectant faces. YURI: "But Monika...what if people start...ah, being inconsiderate, and disturb us, or laugh?" I’m not surprised Yuri is worried about this. MONIKA: "Oh, don’t you worry. If anyone steps out of line, I’ll put a swift stop to that." She has a stern glint in her eye, and I have to repress a shiver. I’m glad she’s with us… Yuri looks somewhat relieved, but it’s clear she’s still worried. She swallows and nods. YURI: "I...suppose I don’t really have a choice, do I?" I shake my head. YURI: "Ok… I’ll do it…" SAYORI: "Yay! That’s everyone! You’re the best, Yuri!" YURI: "This club is seriously going to be the death of me…" MONIKA: "I know you'll do great Yuri, just trust me. But anyway, let's move back onto the main event! While we have time, I want each of you to choose a poem of yours to practice reciting in front of each other." Yuri and Natsuki exchange uneasy glances but don’t say anything. MONIKA: "Don't worry, I’ll go first so everyone feels a little more comfortable." SAYORI: "Can I go next?" MONIKA: "Ahaha. Of course. Now, let's see..." Monika flips through her notebook, searching for a specific poem.  MONIKA: "Ahh, here we are. The title of this poem is The Way They Fly. Ahem..." Monika begins reciting her poem. Her clear, confident voice fills the room. Her eyes move across the page, in sync with her lips. Every word has the perfect amount of emotion put behind it, making the poem almost come to life - her inflection is extraordinary. I’m impressed, and judging by a quick glance around me, so is everyone else. Sayori looks amazed. Yuri has an intense expression on her face that I don't understand. Even Natsuki’s once sour attitude is replaced by awe. Finally, Monika finishes the recitation. The four of us applaud. Monika takes a breath and smiles. SAYORI: "That...that was so good, Monika!" MONIKA: "Ahaha, thank you very much. I was just hoping to set a good example. Are you ready to go next, Sayori?" SAYORI: "Yep!" Sayori jumps up from her chair and takes Monika’s place at the front of the room." SAYORI: "This poem is called...umm… Uhh…. Uwaaa, how did you do it so easily Monika?!" MONIKA: "Well… Try to imagine you’re alone, like you’re reciting it to yourself. It’s your poem, so it’ll come out best that way." SAYORI: "Hmm… Oh, I think I get it!" Sayori nods to herself.  SAYORI: "Anyway, this poem’s called My Meadow." Sayori begins reciting her poem. It seems as if her soft voice is a perfect match. As for the poem itself - it has a similar tone when compared to her other ones. It’s peaceful, yet sombre at the same time. Bittersweet, you could call it. Hearing the poem in Sayori’s voice almost gives it an entirely new meaning. I think this is what Sayori means when she says she likes my poems. It’s like seeing a whole new side of someone you thought you knew completely." Sayori finishes, and we all applaud. SAYORI: "I did it!" MONIKA: "Yep! Good job!" Sayori beams as she walks back to her seat. MONIKA: "So, who’d like to go next?" Natsuki, Yuri, and I all look at each other nervously. I open my mouth, but Yuri beats me to the punch." YURI: "I-I’ll go!" MONIKA: "Nice! Thanks for showing initiative, Yuri! YURI: "Y-yes..." Yuri rushes over to the podium, clutching a sheet of paper in her hands. YURI: "This poem is called--!" Yuri freezes as she looks up at us. SAYORI: "You can do it, Yuri…"  YURI: "It’s called…Afterimage of a Crimson Eye." Yuri begins to recite her poem. Her voice is shaky at first, but the more she reads, the more confident she becomes. It’s similar to what happens when she gets absorbed in her books. The shy and apprehensive Yuri I’m used to is replaced by a fierce and confident woman. The poem itself is like a maze in its structure, with twists and turns every line... But Yuri is unfazed and enunciates each word with perfect timing. This must be a rare glimpse into the whirling fire Yuri keeps concealed inside her head...! Suddenly, she’s finished. Everyone is stunned. Yuri snaps back into reality and glances around her, as if she bewildered even herself. YURI: "I..." Monika's the first to start applauding. Sheepishly, I follow along, and soon the clubroom is filled with the sound of applause. Yuri ducks her head in embarrassment, a shy smile creeping over her face. MONIKA: "Yuri, that was really good! Like I said, you don't have anything to worry about. Thank you for sharing." YURI: "T-t-thanks..." Guess Yuri’s done for the day. MONIKA: "So, who’d like to go next? Natsuki?" NATSUKI: "Hmph. Why should I go before Hisao? It’s not like I can compare to you guys anyway… Might as well let Hisao lower everyone’s standards before I go…" MONIKA: "Natsuki!" Monika hastens to chastise her, shooting me a sympathizing look. MONIKA: "That was kind of rude, don’t you think? You should apologize to Hisao!" Natsuki’s face turns red as the girls all turn to look at her. I decide to spare Natsuki from the embarrassment. HISAO: "Hey, it’s really no big deal. I’ll end up going at some point anyway. Might as well do it now. Thing is, I don’t have much of a selection to choose from... I'll just have to go with what I wrote for today." Everyone has their eyes on me, making me feel terribly awkward. I take a deep breath. In my head, I repeat to myself the advice Monika gave to Sayori. Try to imagine you’re alone, like you’re reciting it to yourself. Alone…. My house is the first thing that comes to mind when I think of being alone. The scene rapidly develops in my head, like I’m recalling a recent memory. (Silence)  … I’m sitting alone at my desk. The dim light hanging from the ceiling gives a warmth to the room. In front of me is the poem I had just finished, the ink from my pen still fresh on the page. I pick up the notebook and begin reciting it out loud. While I’m not the most confident in it, I still try and put energy into it. I can almost hear my voice echoing off my bedroom walls. ... Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Doki Doki Literature Club! (Main Theme) fadeout 1 As I finish, the sound of applause pulls me out of my daydream. I’m back in the clubroom, standing at the podium while the girls politely applaud my performance. MONIKA: "That was good, Hisao!" HISAO: "I...I guess…" MONIKA: "Oh, don’t be so hard on yourself. I don’t think it’s your writing abilities, but rather your lack of confidence that weighs you down. That's something that'll improve over time, though, so don’t worry!" HISAO: "Yeah...okay. Thanks..." MONIKA: "Alright, then! That just leaves you, Natsuki." NATSUKI: "Yeah, yeah. I'm going." As she says this, Natsuki begrudgingly gets out of her seat and makes her way to the podium. NATSUKI: "The poem is called... It's called... S-stop looking at me!!" MONIKA: "But you're presenting..." NATSUKI: "Hmph... You don't have to stare straight into my soul though..." She takes a moment to compose herself.  NATSUKI: "Anyway...the poem is called Jump." Natsuki takes a breath. While her voice is unenthusiastic, the poem has a surprising amount of energy to it. The rhymes tie into each other seamlessly, creating a flow that moves the poem along at a brisk pace. The words seem to bounce up and down with the rhythm, seemingly making the poem come to life. It’s Natsuki’s signature style, and it works exceptionally well when read out loud. She quickly finishes and huffs as she makes her way back to her seat while we applaud her. MONIKA: "That wasn't so bad, was it?" She stares at her poem blankly for a second before replying. NATSUKI: "Easy for you to say... You'd better not make me do that again." MONIKA: "Um, well… That’s what we’re gonna be doing at the festival so… Do you at least feel confident enough to do it in front of a crowd?" NATSUKI: "Eh. I guess. Not like there’s any other choice… And I guess it’ll be easier doing it in front of other people. I can just put on whatever face I want with strangers. I don't care about what they think of me. But when it's just my friends... It's just...embarrassing. But I still hate the idea that we have to perform..." She mutters that last sentence under her breath. The others probably didn’t even hear it. I knew Natsuki was stubborn, but this is a whole other level. However, it does look like she’s going along with the idea of performing for the festival. Well, at least for now, since she’s basically outvoted and can’t come up with another idea anyway. SAYORI: "Really? That’s a surprise. For me, it’s the other way around. Having all those people looking at you, judging you… Uwah! I don’t like to think about it!" YURI: "I...I can relate to that…" Yuri murmurs quietly. YURI: "The thought of so many eyes observing your every move all at once…" She trails off, shaking her head. NATSUKI: "Well, that's just how it is, so..." Natsuki sighs in frustration. MONIKA: "Well, I guess in that case... You won't have much to worry about for the festival. Speaking of which, I want to thank all of you for performing. It might be difficult, but now that we have a general idea of what it’ll be like, we’ll be able to prepare ourselves! Make sure you pick out a poem and show it to me tomorrow, okay? I'll need to know so I can make the pamphlets over the weekend." HISAO: "Hmm…" I should probably find a different poem to recite. HISAO: "I know you'd prefer it if we used our own poetry, but I'm probably going to pick a poem from a poet I like or something..." MONIKA: "Whatever makes you feel comfortable, Hisao. I'm already pleasantly surprised that you’re putting all this effort into the club." HISAO: "Low expectations, huh?" MONIKA: "Ahaha, more like any effort put in makes me happy in general." "Monika smiles at me, and then turns to smile to everyone else. MONIKA: "That goes for everyone here! Thanks for going along with these last minute plans! Anyway, I think that about does it for today. Let’s still try and write poems for tomorrow, okay? I know the festival’s coming up, but it’s been working out nicely the past few days and I’d like it to continue. Tomorrow we’ll finalize who’s doing what for the festival, and then we’ll have the weekend to prepare. Remember, we have till Monday!" SAYORI: "It’ll be so much fun! I can’t wait!" We all stand up, packing away our things. However, Monika’s voice stops us. MONIKA: "Oh, and guys?" She pauses, twirling a strand of hair in her hand.  MONIKA: "This club truly does mean so much to me, and I really appreciate what you’re willing to do for it. You guys are the best." In typical fashion, Natsuki just rolls her eyes. Yuri smiles timidly, while Sayori wears a hearty smile. NATSUKI: "Ugh, let’s just get it over with. I hope we don’t regret this…" YURI: "That’s okay, Monika. Nothing to thank us for. We really appreciate what you’ve made for us." I can’t help but catch Yuri muttering under her breath after she says this. YURI: "(I can do this, I can do this…)" SAYORI: "Yeah, I love it here! We’ll get to spread this cozy little place to other people!" HISAO: "Yeah, it’s all good, Monika. Alright--" While I’m certainly not as enthusiastic as Monika or Sayori about the festival… If I can pull that little daydream stunt again, I think I’ll be alright. It’s for the sake of the club. Not to mention impressing the girls. Once I’m fully packed up, I walk over to Sayori. HISAO: "Ready to go?" SAYORI: "Yep!" NATSUKI: "Geez, don’t you ever get tired of always walking home with Hisao, Sayori?" HISAO: "Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?" MONIKA: "Oh, don’t mind her. You guys are more adorable than anything." SAYORI: "Ehehe~" HISAO: "Alright, alright. No need to make such a big deal about it." YURI: "It must be a little nice, though..." HISAO: "Umm...yeah, I guess… Ah, geez… Let’s just go already, Sayori." SAYORI: "Okay!" The two of us begin the walk home. A lot has changed in the past few days.  Lost in thought, I don't even notice how quiet Sayori's being until we're almost back home. HISAO: "There's a lot going on in the club now, eh? I'll bet you're thinking about all your new vice-president duties that you'll have to deal with when the club grows bigger." SAYORI: "... E-eh? Ah, yeah..." HISAO: "Anything specific on your mind?" SAYORI: "Mmm...not really. Sorry, did you want to talk?" HISAO: "I mean, we don't have to if you're thinking about stuff." SAYORI: "No, no. It's nice talking to you! Um... I was...thinking about something from earlier."  SAYORI: "It's nice that we...uh... N-nevermind! It's nothing, ehe." HISAO: "You're sounding a little like Yuri right now, haha." SAYORI: "H-huh? Oh, yeah... Well, I guess I just have a question for you, Hisao." HISAO: "What's up?" Sayori clears her throat before speaking.  SAYORI: "So...let's just say that one day, Yuri asked to walk home with you..." HISAO: "Huh?!" SAYORI: "What would you do?" HISAO: "What kind of question is that...? You're kind of putting me on the spot here..." SAYORI: "Ehehe..."  Well... >"I would walk home with Yuri." >”I would still walk home with Sayori." You always get a choice here between whoever you picked first all the way back in like the second update and Sayori, even though Yuri’s apparently not talking to us. =>”I would still walk home with Sayori." HISAO: "Sayori... I’d walk with you, of course!" Sayori pauses for a moment. SAYORI: "Eh?!" She glances at me from the side, before turning away. SAYORI: "B-But... She's so beautiful and smart... SAYORI: “…” HISAO: "Geez..." SAYORI: "Why me?" Her reply surprises me, and I’m not sure how to answer, or what she wants to hear. HISAO: "I already see her in the club every day. Besides, you always seem to really like going home together... I wouldn't just ruin that for you." SAYORI: "You're so silly, Hisao..." She gives me a pained smile. SAYORI: "You think about me too much sometimes. Yuri would deserve it if she wanted it, so..." HISAO: "Sayori, I've already made up my mind. I really can't figure you out sometimes..." SAYORI: "Sorry..." HISAO: "Besides, like I said. I’ve enjoyed catching up with you again. Why would I just change that for another girl? Walking home with you and talking about just...anything. It’s a great throwback." She doesn’t seem as happy as I’d have imagined. I mean, both our childhoods were pleasant. Strange… SAYORI: "Hm..." The conversation trails off. It's kind of a weird thing for Sayori to care so much about... But I want to respect her and keep her happy, too. I reach my house and open the door. 11. Pensive - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST HISAO: "I’m home." ... No response. HISAO: "I’m alone, as usual." I mumble that part to myself. Talking to myself as if I’m the protagonist of a manga or game...I must be going stir crazy. Mom is still out on her business trip. She’s never home anymore… I miss her… But, I don’t blame her for anything. It’s hard enough providing for yourself, let alone a kid. Since I’m alone, I decide to make an instant meal for dinner. Digging through my cabinets, I find some old soup cups. HISAO: "Hmm, miso soup sounds good." I unwrap the packaging, pour in some water, and place the meal in the microwave. While it cooks, my minds wanders back to my performance earlier. That daydream was so vivid, so realistic… Can I really pull off that performance again, but this time in front of a crowd? It wasn’t even that great in the first place. Just doing it in front of the girls was nerve-wracking. Guess I’m not really used to being around people again. ...Maybe that’s it. Thinking about it, I guess I’ve kind of been subconsciously isolating myself from people ever since the divorce. Before it even, in some cases. I wonder when I started shunning myself. Maybe that’s part of why Sayori and I drifted apart over the past few years? It wasn’t intentional or anything, it just happened. At least, I don’t think it was intentional… But I’m glad I got to reconnect with her in the literature club. It’s given me something to do, something to look forward to that isn’t anime or video games. Talking with the girls has made me feel more…appreciated. It’s a nice feeling, something that’s been missing from me ever since the divorce. Maybe that’s why Sayori likes walking home with me. It makes her feel appreciated. HISAO: "Sayori…" The more I think about it, the more concerned for her I get. She said some pretty weird stuff... But, I guess people just have their off days. Maybe she’s just changed a little bit over the years? Pretty normal, right? I’d like to think I’d be able to tell if something was up with her. Although given our recent distance, I’m not so sure. Sure, we’ve started talking again, but there’s a lot of lost time. Maybe that’ll change, and we’ll go back to how we used to. Beep! I hope. 23. Our Next Chapter - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST  Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Dreams Of Love and Literature  This time I’m shooting for something specific – 20 Sayori words. If my calculations are correct, this MIGHT make us skip a couple of character-specific schemes I’m saving for a rainy day; if it doesn’t, we’ll just go through one of them, but I’ll still have a better grasp of how the game works. Either way, day 4 marks the moment when things get underway. We still have plenty more anime bullshit to wade through, but we’re about due for something that’s a little more emotionally charged.
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Mar 31, 2022 23:27
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Since autism has obviously come up a lot in this thread and the Katawa Shoujo LP thread: Eurogamer had a fundraising stream yesterday for the Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) - I hope I got the right link there. Mostly they were just messing around in Sea of Thieves, but Zoe did talk a fair bit about her experience with autism and about autism generally. A lot of it echoed things Falconier111 has said in this and the previous thread. Just in case anyone's interested. I quite like Eurogamer. They're pretty cool. Back on Doki Doki Blue Skies though: the writing seems to be picking up a bit? Still not exactly blowing me away, but better than earlier, at least. Also: Falconier111 posted:
Oh boy. 
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Apr 1, 2022 03:41
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You know, when I was planning this LP, I was originally going to put up a post today where I pretended I was LPing that one mod where they all play Dungeons and Dragons, but that was before I realized I had to move cross country. Instead of putting the finishing touches on that post, I spent the day braving the trackless wilds of Indiana, deftly maneuvering around the ravening maw of human depravity that is Gary and glitching past Indianapolis to save time. I write this from Lexington, Kentucky, where the scenery is nice, the horses are plentiful, the roadkill is almost as plentiful, the Red Lobsters are fine dining, and the hotel Wi-Fi is hot fiery garbage. I sit here kind of drunk writing a post I might delete tomorrow morning because I forgot that for all the meds I’m taking, the only interaction they have is individually magnifying the effect of the one glass of spiked punch I ordered because six hours of shaking on the road was setting off my tendinitis and I deserve the chance to relax goddamnit. If the next update doesn’t go up Monday, assume I wa blinded by my hubris and the appalachians calmed yet another life as I attempted a crossing; I’ve seen enough Golden Corrals and billboards that quote a bible verse and then cite a different verse that I no longer properly fear death.
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Apr 2, 2022 03:30
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Well now I’m homesick.
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Apr 2, 2022 06:20
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Update 9: In actuality, it’s supposed to represent the last remnants of something lost to the past, and the sense of plaintive longing that comes with it After two years of development. Hopefully, it’ll be worth the wait. As time passes and I gain perspective, I start to realize I may have made a real mistake in what I choose to highlight. See, I THOUGHT I was keeping the narrative focused by cutting out extraneous poems and keeping them in reserve for the routes of the other girls. Turns out that weakened the narrative and kept important character development sealed off arbitrarily. It kind of needs to be there. And I took it out. So now I have to fix that.Anyway, today’s my first day in a new apartment and also a full work day, so I don’t have a whole lot of time to spend hitting on literature nerds. I’ll keep this update short and sweet. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST Disc 2 - 03 Okay, Everyone! (Natsuki) (I hosed the screenshot up and couldn't recover it) Sometimes posted:Some folks are winners, Doki Doki Literature Club! OST Okay, Everyone!  HISAO: “...” NATSUKI: “Told you you’d hate it.” HISAO: “Actually, I like it.” NATSUKI: “What? Don’t just say it’s good because I’m a girl! Be honest!” HISAO: “What? No, it has nothing to do with you being a girl! I genuinely like the poem.” NATSUKI: “R-Really?” HISAO: “Yeah, it’s simple, but still pretty effective.” NATSUKI: “Finally, someone who gets it! People in high school think poetry has to be so formal and vague.”  NATSUKI: But they don’t realize that simple writing is just as effective, if not more! The reader shouldn't have to search for the meaning - that’s just stupid. Besides, the simpler the writing, the more emphasis on wordplay. Like how I made most of the lines start with 'Some.'” HISAO: “Yeah, I noticed that. Made the last couplets seem more...powerful.” NATSUKI: “Yes! That’s exactly what I was going for!” HISAO: “Well, good job then.” NATSUKI: “Ha, didn’t expect that from the youngest of the club, did ya?” HISAO: “Yeah...guess not. Now Yuri. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST Disc 2 - 04 Okay, Everyone! (Yuri)  Tumble posted:Hail falls down like discarded dust Made on line 3 and the second Ever on line 6 are both capitalized in the script. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST Okay, Everyone!  YURI: “... I-I’m sorry if my writing’s a bit illegible… Once my pen touches the page, I-I just… …Want to get my thoughts down…” HISAO: “It’s fine, Yuri. I was able to read it just fine. I wasn't thinking that at all.” YURI: “A-Are you sure? It seemed to take you a while to read it…” HISAO: “Heh, well I guess I don’t see cursive often. But it’s really nice when I do; your writing’s actually quite pretty.” YURI: “I-Is that so…? I’m…glad you think so…” HISAO: “It made your poem stand out even more, as well. mc It’s as though your handwriting fits your word choice, or vice versa.” YURI: “I-It wasn’t too short, was it? I’m used to writing longer pieces, but since this is the first time we’re sharing… I thought it would be easier to share.” HISAO: “That makes sense. Do you mind telling me what it’s about though? I’m not sure I understand…” YURI: “S-Sorry! I didn’t mean to write something confusing!” HISAO: “Oh, it’s not that. I just want to be sure I’m reading it properly.” YURI: “I see...”  YURI: “I suppose from a cursory glance it might not be obvious. But part of what makes poetry magical is how you can conjure up a vivid image with your words. While on the surface it might seem a bit out-there, if you look a little deeper… You might be able to find a deeper meaning hidden amongst the lines, compounded by the metaphors used. For example, the words and images in this poem aren’t meant to be taken at face value… In actuality, it’s supposed to represent the last remnants of something lost to the past, and the sense of plaintive longing that comes with it.” HISAO: “Huh…that’s pretty impressive when you put it that way.” YURI: “O-Oh, I wouldn’t go that far... But…thanks for the compliment. Hopefully during your time here, your understanding of poetry will grow, and these things will come to you naturally.” HISAO: “I’ll do my best. Thank you for sharing with me, Yuri.” YURI: “O-Of course…” Let’s skip to the third day. Remember, at the end of day 2, Natsuki and Yuri got in a shouting match after reading each other’s poems. Natsuki accused Yuri of being pretentious and looking down on others for being less intelligent. Yuri, in turn, finally busted out of her shell and dressed Natsuki down for being presumptuous, selfish, and domineering. Eventually the rest of the club had to step in and separate them. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST Disc 2 - 03 Okay, Everyone! (Natsuki)  Sometimes posted:I don't get why people Doki Doki Literature Club! OST Okay, Everyone!  HISAO: “...” NATSUKI: “So, what do you think?” HISAO: “Uh...I mean it's well written at least.” I'm not sure how I should confront Natsuki about this... But to say that she still holds a grudge from yesterday would be an understatement. God forbid Yuri see this poem... NATSUKI: “Heh, well that's a given. But yeah, you could say that I was inspired. It really felt good to pound out these lines. Poetry's an amazing emotional outlet, you know.” HISAO: “Uh huh...” NATSUKI: “Anyway, I can't wait to show this to her! HISAO: “Wait, hold on.” NATSUKI: “What?” HISAO: “Natsuki, do you really think that this is a good idea?” NATSUKI: “Yeah, well she never tries to see things my way. So why should I?” HISAO: “...I think that that's the wrong way to go about this. Relationships are a two-way street. Both people have to work to make things right. Why don't you try being the bigger person and just talk to her first?” NATSUKI: “But I already know that she's not going to try! She's just always so preoccupied with looking complicated and smart! It's clear to me that she doesn't care if anyone can understand her. Including me...” HISAO: “You can't understand her if you don't even try. She might speak using a more complex vocabulary, and she may have mannerisms that seem strange to you... But from what I've seen of the both of you, she's more similar to you than you might think.” NATSUKI: “E-eh? That's...” HISAO: “Aren't you judging a book by its cover right now?” NATSUKI: “Urk-- Well, whatever.” HISAO: “You can't hold this grudge forever, you know. At least think of Monika and Sayori.” NATSUKI: “Fine! I won't show it to her! HISAO: “I won't be happy until you try to talk to her. She's not going to bite, Natsuki.” NATSUKI: “Ughh... Alright, I get it. I'll try to talk to her some time.” HISAO: “Thanks. You're gonna do the club proud.” NATSUKI: “Shut it! Man, now I have to throw this whole poem out.” HISAO: “You could easily turn that energy away towards more positive things though, right?” NATSUKI: “I guess so... Ugh, I'm just frustrated that my poem's message missed the mark this time. You should always try to make something people can take a message away from. Remember that! Anyway, I’m gonna write good one[sic] tomorrow, so just you wait!” Our first encounter with something approaching ableism here, and… Well, it’s actually well-handled in my opinion, if put through a heavy anime filter. Yuri reminds me a little bit of high school me, but more of some friends and acquaintances I had then and since. Yuri’s affect here, that combination of extreme shyness and powerful anger when someone insists on something you believe is wrong, is both very common among and very dangerous for neurodivergents, especially people with anxiety disorders. I can’t say why it pops up so frequently, but I think it’s what happens when the time you would otherwise spend developing social skills and gets rerouted into areas of personal interest; if trying to socialize just gets you punished for reasons you can’t understand, why not spend that time reading or gaming or drawing or anything else you enjoy, especially if it gets you respect in other areas and it’s something you can take pride in? If these interests overlap with academics in some way, our achievement in that area will often jump ahead, often getting us praise from teachers or parents. The complicated grading systems that modern education functions on can’t really filter out this kind of false positive: yeah, we may be genuinely good in that area, but it comes from spending time on those subjects most kids spend learning skills that benefit them outside the classroom – which grading alone, of course, can’t pick up on. So sometimes we’re put in tracks made for kids with higher natural aptitudes than we really have, end up devoting even more time and energy to keeping up (which costs us even more in the social sphere), come out of schooling with a deeply lopsided skillset, and crash and burn the moment our support system vanishes. It’s one of the main causes of gifted child syndrome and a scourge on our existence. It doesn’t happen to all of us, by any means, but the process can ruin the lives of people caught up in it.I can’t say if Yuki’s in the same boat, but I suspect she is; she certainly has the vocabulary of somebody who reads to satisfy her English teacher. Either way, I highly doubt she actually meant anything by the way she dealt with Natsuki; as far as she’s concerned, Natsuki lashed out at her for little reason and she responded the best she could. I would be surprised if she buries the hatchet the moment they passed everything out. As we’ll see when we get around to her – after all, we pissed her off this time. E: namtab made a great followup point on this: Namtab posted:There’s probably a danger in taking either yuri or natsukis side in this particular argument, or accusing one side of ableism. Remember as well that while Natsuki’s presented as a fairly stereotypical tsundere, she is the victim of nonspecified abuse from her father (likely physical, emotional and neglect). Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 20:34 on Apr 11, 2022 |
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Apr 5, 2022 02:34
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The screenshot and transcript seem to show different poems? The poem in the screenshot is "Resist" instead of "Sometimes."
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Apr 5, 2022 13:32
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Namtab posted:Seems less depression naps and more sleeping too much but yeah. Also implies in the text that she’s been experiencing depression for quite a while if her increasing lateness is because of this. Late to the party, but "sleeping/napping beyond what would be reasonable for somebody my age" is exactly how my aunt (who was living with me at the time) noticed I might have clinical depression (me having attributed my loss of interest and feeling bummed about life to mostly external factors) and recommended that I go see a psychiatrist.
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Apr 6, 2022 01:01
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We miss you! Hope the move went / is going smoothly.
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Apr 9, 2022 00:14
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There’s probably a danger in taking either yuri or natsukis side in this particular argument, or accusing one side of ableism. Remember as well that while Natsuki’s presented as a fairly stereotypical tsundere, she is the victim of nonspecified abuse from her father (likely physical, emotional and neglect). What we’re seeing is imo less about ableism from one side to another, but rather a clash between two people with similar but contrasting valid needs around communication. Both have difficulty directly expressing themselves, yuri due to anxiety, natsuki due to trauma/masking. Natsuki is too used to having to watch out for sudden changes and triggers so she wants communication with her to be straightforward, for people to say what they mean and not present with surprises. This clashes with Yuri who also struggles to express what she wants to say directly, so she plays with language and hides her meaning behind complex language and metaphor. On working with the disabled, particularly those with ASD or learning (intellectual) disabilities how we say things is as important as what we say. Neither yuri or natsuki are in the right or wrong, rather they need a better understanding of the other’s needs. Then again, that’s just my reading.
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Apr 9, 2022 14:11
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Namtab posted:There’s probably a danger in taking either yuri or natsukis side in this particular argument, or accusing one side of ableism. Remember as well that while Natsuki’s presented as a fairly stereotypical tsundere, she is the victim of nonspecified abuse from her father (likely physical, emotional and neglect). it's a good reading imo
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Apr 9, 2022 15:07
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Funktor posted:We miss you! Hope the move went / is going smoothly. I had an update prepped and I forgot to upload it in time . I think this is the first time i missed a scheduled update since I started KS. Goddamnit. I’ll just put it up on Monday to give myself some breathing room; expect this biweekly updates for a week or two more before I finally settle in enough to go triweekly again.The move is going well; I now have most of my vital furniture in place and know my way around the neighborhood. More importantly, now that I’m in place with a lot of the contacts I established in the program, I’ve started receiving invites and outreach from other people affiliated with the program. I can’t understate how welcome this is; I was afraid of ending up isolated, especially with so few spoons left over from the move I knew I wasn’t in a position to reach out on my own. It preserves my sanity on multiple levels. While I’m still relatively new to the scene, if I have advice for anyone looking to get involved in activism, whether as a professional or a volunteer, whether in disability or anywhere else, it’s this: organize. Reach out to other people and organizations, show up at meetings, send out feelers to people you know if you feel safe doing so. Western culture as a whole tends to focus on individuals as sources of change (whether lionizing great leaders and inventors or asking individuals for donations), by nature oppressive social structures magnify the power of some individuals by taking that power away from everyone else. A coherent and internally harmonious mass movement, though, can give a lot of that power back through collective action. I know it’s way harder to do this kind of work than it sounds, ESPECIALLY for us, I can’t understate the kind of heft having a lot of people at your back gives you. At work, every time another department comes sniffing around about setting up a parallel neurodiversity program, I take the time to advertise what community organization’s done for our department and trot out any contacts I have in that department for that reason. But the social impact, the camaraderie, that kind of organization can have on your private life also can’t be underestimated. Being oppressed is isolating, and being among people that understand goes a long way to keeping you stable and motivated. Having a landing pad is amazing, you know? Namtab posted:There’s probably a danger in taking either yuri or natsukis side in this particular argument, or accusing one side of ableism. Remember as well that while Natsuki’s presented as a fairly stereotypical tsundere, she is the victim of nonspecified abuse from her father (likely physical, emotional and neglect). I wrote that post quickly and sloppily (it’s why the screenshots seem to have gotten hosed at some point in the process), so I kind of missed something I should probably have caught. Can I put this right in the post?
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Apr 9, 2022 17:14
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Apr 9, 2022 17:28
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Update 10: Deep down, I know that isn’t the reason. Trying a few new things this update format-wise; let me know if any of it doesn’t land.  Mangos are not literature. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Okay, Everyone!  MONIKA: Aw, man... I'm the last one here! HISAO: Oh, don’t worry about it. Everyone's late from time to time. Besides, you've been working hard, so I think you deserve some slack. MONIKA: I guess so… I’m usually pretty punctual, but I just lost track of the time today! YURI: What made you forget the time? MONIKA: Ah, it's a funny story actually... I recently decided to learn how to play the piano, so I was practicing just now. That's probably why I didn't notice the schoolbell going off. YURI: You can play the piano? That's quite impressive. I've always wanted to play an instrument myself... MONIKA: Aha, it's not as cool as you make it out to be. I've only been playing for a little while, so I've still got a ways to go before I'm any good. You should pick up an instrument too, Yuri! I could definitely see you playing the violin. HISAO: Yeah, that pretty much suits Yuri perfectly. YURI: Ah, the violin is a beautiful instrument... I'm partial to the sound of the flute as well... MONIKA: Mmm, flutes can be calm and elegant, just like you. YURI: U-umm, thank you... HISAO: How's it like to play the piano? MONIKA: It's really an enjoyable instrument to play. Not to mention, I really love how it sounds. One moment it can sound gentle and soothing, the next powerful and full of force. The piano's an instrument that I'm familiar with too. Well, at least somewhat - my father had signed me up for piano lessons when I was younger. He’d been playing it since high school and wanted to pass his passion down to me… But I never really got into it. Considering that, you'd think that I would hate the piano. But for some reason, I find myself internally cheering on Monika. Maybe because it reminds me of my father, in a way. YURI: Monika, you certainly are a talented individual. First starting your own club from the ground up and now picking up piano on a whim… I doubt I’d be able to do that… MONIKA: Oh, don’t say that! Anyone can do amazing things as long as they have a passion for it… Which is why I think we’re all going to do amazing at the festival!  NATSUKI: Ahh! I can’t wait for the festival! It’s gonna be awesome! MONIKA: Natsuki, weren’t you just protesting the festival yesterday? NATSUKI: Well, obviously I meant everything besides our part of the festival. I still don’t like the idea of performing… Monika rolls her eyes. I don’t want to start this whole debate over again either. NATSUKI: But I am looking forward to everything else. It’s a whole day of school where you can just run around and eat till you burst! I can see the eagerness in Natsuki’s eyes. She must really like food. Kinda reminds me of a certain someone… Speaking of which, where is Sayori?  HISAO: Oh, there you are. I walk over to her. As I do, I hear the girls continue to converse behind me. Something about squid….? HISAO: Hey, Sayori. I wave my hand in front of her face. SAYORI: Eh--? HISAO: You're spacing out again. SAYORI: A-Ah... Ehehe, sorry... Don't mind me. You can go talk to everyone else. HISAO: Huh... Are you okay? She forces a smile. It’s not very convincing. SAYORI: Of course I am, silly! Why wouldn’t I be? HISAO: I dunno, you just seem a bit...off, today? Maybe I’m wrong, but… My mind wanders back to what she asked me as we were walking home together. SAYORI: You worry too much, Hisao. I’m fine, seriously! She smiles again, bigger and more genuine. While it seems much more Sayori-like, there’s still something inside me that feels like something’s up. Sayori must’ve noticed, as she hastens to explain. SAYORI: To tell you the truth, I just didn’t get much sleep last night. I’m really tired, so sorry if I’m a little cranky, aha… Seriously though, I’m probably not much fun to hang around with right now. Why don’t you spend some time with the others? I might try and have a little nap… HISAO: Uhm...sure, okay. Just uh...know that if anything’s bothering you, you can talk to me, okay? I’d hate to see you suffering in silence. She nods. SAYORI: Suffering might be a little strong of a word, ehe... HISAO: Ah, well...you know what I mean. Sayori nods again, then shoos me away. I mean, it’s been a good few years since we’ve properly hung out together. Maybe she’s changed? Deep down, I know that isn’t the reason. Still, maybe Monika knows more than I do. After all, she’s the president, right? I timidly approach her. She’s shuffling through some papers at her desk. MONIKA: Hisao! What's up? I decide to just jump right in. There’s no point beating about the bush. HISAO: Hey, so um… Have you...noticed anything wrong with Sayori recently? MONIKA: Wrong? What do you mean? HISAO: I don’t know, it’s just she seems a little downcast today. So do you have any idea why she might be feeling...off? Like, have you seen her act this way before? MONIKA: Hm… No, I can’t say I’ve ever seen her like this before. HISAO: Yeah, she said she’s just feeling tired because she didn’t get much sleep. But to be honest, I’m not buying it. She’s normally upbeat and cheerful - her behavior has been so uncharacteristic. Monika peers across the room at Sayori, who is idly dragging a rubber eraser up and down her desk. Wait, didn’t she say she was going to try and nap? MONIKA: Maybe there is something on her mind... My question, though, is why you’re asking me, Hisao! You’ve certainly known her longer than I have. HISAO: Yeah, well, you’ve spent more time around her recently than I have, with the club and all. MONIKA: I guess so.. HISAO: But I’ve never seen her...dismiss me? Maybe she didn’t exactly dismiss me, but it felt like she just wanted me gone. ...Sorry, I’m just concerned for her…you know? I just wanted to ask if you knew anything, that’s all. MONIKA: No, no... m I appreciate you coming to me. It’s really sweet how concerned you are for her. After all, it's important to me, too. I mean, I'm also friends with her... And I also care about the well-being of my club members, you know? Maybe I'll try talking to her myself... HISAO: Eh? Are you sure that’s a good idea...? She seemed like she wanted to be left alone... MONIKA: Are you sure? m I know you’ve known Sayori for longer than I have, so perhaps you’re right. Still, it’s worth a try. I also have to talk to her about what she wants to do for the festival anyway. HISAO: Oh, alright. Fair enough then. I just hope she’s more receptive to you then she was with me… Monika pauses, studying my worried facial expression. The warmth of her smile reflects in her eyes. MONIKA: You really care about her, don’t you? From what I can gather, you’ve been friends for a while. HISAO: Yeah, we’ve been childhood friends for as long as I can remember. Although before I joined the club, we had been drifting a lot. I hate thinking that she’s been like this before without me around to help her… MONIKA: Hey, I know it’s hard, Hisao. It’s never easy seeing a friend suffer. But for what it’s worth, she’s lucky to have someone so thoughtful looking out for her. Don’t blame yourself for it. You can’t always be there for everyone. I know she’s right, but the feeling of guilt still resides. HISAO: Yeah, I guess... MONIKA: Hey, she’s been a lot happier since you joined the club, you know. HISAO: Huh? Really? MONIKA: Yep! She told me she was kind of surprised at first, as she didn’t expect you to want to join. m But once she got over that, she enjoyed having you around. Anyway...I know it’s hard seeing her like this. I’ll talk to her and see what I can do, okay? She’ll be fine, don’t you worry. I sure hope so. HISAO: Let’s just hope you’re right, Monika. Thank you for everything, by the way. You’ve been a big help. MONIKA: Ahaha, you’re too kind, Hisao. Nothing to thank me for. I watch her kneel down next to Sayori and gently talk to her. But she's keeping her voice so quiet... I sigh and sit myself down. I know Sayori told me not to worry about her, and to have fun with everyone else... But that's impossible to do when she's behaving like this... But there's nothing I can do besides wait for Monika to talk to her. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Okay, Everyone! MONIKA: Okay, everyone! After some time passes, Monika calls out to the clubroom. MONIKA: Why don't we share our poems now? Before I know it, everything is back to normal. Everyone goes to retrieve their poems, and I do the same. I make eye contact with Monika, and she smiles reassuringly at me. I wonder what she was talking about with Sayori...  Whom should I show my poem to first? >Sayori >Natsuki >Yuri >Monika =>Sayori SAYORI: I like this one a lot, Hisao. It’s probably your best one so far. HISAO: Ah, well...thanks. I had a feeling you’d like this one in particular. SAYORI: Huh? Why’s that? HISAO: Well, I was thinking of things you like while I was writing it. SAYORI: Really? HISAO: Yeah. I think I connect the most with your writing style. SAYORI: I’m honestly a little surprised. I thought you would’ve preferred the others’. HISAO: Why? SAYORI: My poetry is nothing special, Hisao. Look at Yuri’s, for example. Her style is way more sophisticated. And Natsuki’s is so bouncy and effective. mc Hey, don’t say that! Just because your style is different, it doesn’t mean it’s bad or anything! Your style is unique. Your poems have a really nice sense of innocence and nostalgia to them. I mean, you managed to make me feel nostalgic about a memory I’ve never actually experienced with your Dear Sunshine poem. It made me think of happier times from my childhood. And I really liked that. SAYORI: It made you happy? HISAO: Yup. Your poems put a smile on my face, Sayori. The other girls’ poems are great, don’t get me wrong, but like I said, I connect the most with yours. I hope that cheers you up a little bit. For just a moment, that vacant look of melancholy that’s been plaguing her face disappears as she smiles a genuine smile. SAYORI: Thank you, Hisao. That means more than you can imagine. Hmmm...am I starting to get through to her? Maybe now’s the best time to ask what’s on her mind? HISAO: By the way, Sayori. I’ve been meaning to ask you… But pessimistic thoughts suddenly flood my mind. What if she doesn't feel comfortable talking about it right now? Sayori would probably approach me herself with her concerns, if she felt comfortable doing so. After all, everyone has their off days, right? I guess it’s only normal for her to act a little different from time to time. I don’t want to come across as pushy or demanding, even though I’m concerned for her. With a heavy sigh, I change what I was originally going to ask. HISAO: Have you thought about what you want to do for the festival? Monika said we’d be doing a variety of things for it, such as decorations and poster advertisements. Judging by the relief on Sayori’s face, I’m guessing she initially expected me to probe her further on her behavior. SAYORI: Ehe, it’s funny you mention that. She said she was going to discuss that with everyone today after we’ve all shared our poems. HISAO: Wow, I’m a real psychic, aren’t I? SAYORI: A what? A side kick? HISAO: A psychic, haha. It means someone who can read minds and see into the future. SAYORI: Oh? What am I thinking of then? HISAO: Breakfast? She sticks her tongue out at me. And just like that, the playful banter and lighthearted teasing is back. Maybe I’ve just been worrying too much. It looks like she’s feeling a bit better. ...Right? SAYORI: Well, I guess I can return the favor. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST Disc 2 - 02 Okay, Everyone! (Sayori)  Fairy Tale posted:
Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Okay, Everyone!  SAYORI: So...what did you think? HISAO: Wow, Sayori, I… I had no idea you could write like this. This is something else. Have the others seen this? SAYORI: No, not yet. You’re the first one I’ve shown it to. HISAO: What an honor, eh? So, what’s this one about? From what I can gather, it’s… About someone who tries to keep everyone happy, right? She nods. HISAO: And people liked that, but eventually they kinda… SAYORI: Got used to it. But that’s okay, because at least they were still happy. And this person...the kingdom’s wish - even she gets a little tired from time to time. But as long as everyone’s happy, that’s her job. She’s happy when the others are happy. That’s the most important thing. I look back at the poem, trying to pick up on the more subtle meanings. HISAO: But surely the angel doesn’t have to be alone. People don’t have to depend on just her to be happy. Surely the angel could share the responsibility, right? I dunno, maybe I’m just looking into this a bit too much. I just feel...kinda sorry for her. I blink. Am I seriously empathizing with a fictional angel? Maybe I’m really getting into this poetry thing… SAYORI: Ehehe, I’m glad my poems can get such a reaction out of you, Hisao. I really put a lot of thought into this one last night. And you seemed to pick up on it. With an uncomfortable dawn of realization, it’s become quite clear how this poem relates to Sayori. I’m not going to have much luck questioning that though. HISAO: Well, I hope the angel finds happiness soon. Maybe she should share her burdens with other people. She just might be surprised at how...receptive the people of the kingdom are. SAYORI: But then they’ll be sad! That would be selfish! HISAO: Or maybe...they’ll be happy to give something back to their angel. After all, she was keeping them happy. It’s only fair they get to give something back, right? A shake of the head and a sad smile is my only response. That’s extremely forboding in a few complicated ways. I need to make a mental note here: come back to Update 10 during the route conclusion.  Whom should I show my poem next? >Natsuki >Yuri >Monika =>Natsuki NATSUKI: ... This one’s alright. HISAO: Alright? NATSUKI: Yeah. It’s about average. Not amazing, but not terrible. HISAO: Well, I’m at least trying. NATSUKI: I never said you weren’t. This just isn’t my style. HISAO: Alright, nothing wrong with that. People have their opinions. NATSUKI: Yep. n Your poems are kinda like… Decent, I guess is the word. It feels like there’s potential in them, but it just stops short of it. HISAO: Well, any tips to finally reach this ‘potential’ you keep talking about? NATSUKI: Ha! Coming to the pro for tips, are ya? Alright, I’ll help you out this time. ... Natsuki examines my poem once more. NATSUKI: Alright, I think I know what the problem is. It’s your language. It’s mediocre. HISAO: My language…? NATSUKI: Like, the words you use. There’s nothing really special about them. They’re just average words. I think you should use some softer words. Like my poems! HISAO: So I should start writing like you, is what you’re saying? NATSUKI: Well, my poems are the best. Seeing Natsuki so proud of her own work, I can’t help but smile. HISAO: Haha, alright Natsuki. Whatever you say. Let’s see your poem now. NATSUKI: Oh yeah, here. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST Disc 2 - 03 Okay, Everyone! (Natsuki)  Something Happy posted:
Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Okay, Everyone!  NATSUKI: Yeah… I, uhh... You know what this poem is about, right? HISAO: You wrote it for Yuri, right? NATSUKI: I wouldn't say-- Well, actually yeah. I wrote it after seeing how much effort Yuri was putting into changing. I mean, it's only fair after the poem she wrote for me, right? Well, not for me, but... HISAO: Don't worry, I know what you mean. NATSUKI: Anyway, I guess that I was...er... HISAO: You were...? NATSUKI: Shut up. I was childish, alright? I just always get caught up in the moment... It's hard for me to let go of that sort of stuff. But yeah, after writing two negative poems, a positive poem was pretty refreshing. HISAO: I do like the feel of this poem. It really is 'Something Happy,' haha. NATSUKI: Yeah, I mean I was feeling happy when I was writing it, so naturally the mood would be happy. HISAO: The ending is a bit bittersweet though. NATSUKI: Ah, yeah. About that... NATSUKI: Well, I was thinking that Yuri probably has problems that I don't know about. I mean, all people do, right? So I guess the message at the end was that even if we have problems, and even if we're feeling sad... If we look towards our friends we can find happiness. You know, joy in solidarity and stuff. HISAO: Solidarity, eh? That's a very Yuri-ish word. NATSUKI: Well, I was thinking about what Yuri would call it so... And I'm not dumb, you know! I do know 'big' words. I just consciously decide not to use them. HISAO: Alright, alright. I get you. I think Yuri will really appreciate your poem though. NATSUKI: Heh, she better! Whom should I show my poem next? >Yuri >Monika =>Yuri  Yuri glances over at me, but quickly turns away. Perhaps she wants to be left alone for now? I’ll let her come to me if she changes her mind. I failed  . I was hoping that by getting the best result I could for Yuri (without displacing Sayori), I could sway her into showing off her poem, but it turns out that one experience has soured her on us more or less for good. I’ve seen this before – hell I’ve lived it; when anxiety cares away at you in the best situations, sometimes you close yourself off to people who burned you unexpectedly to avoid further pain. Natsuki’s a little different because she challenged Yuri directly, so Yuri felt confident challenging her back; with Hisao, she feels like he’s dismissing or insulting her with no clear cause, and that uncertainty about the situation is a massive anxiety trigger. Time can help with this sort of thing, as can mediators, but I doubt Hisao has the experience and maturity necessary to make use of them. So for now… Well, I’m not writing her off, per se, but I won’t be resting the lens on her much. Maybe next route.  MONIKA: Hi Hisao~ I approach Monika wanting to talk about Sayori with her some more. But she takes control of the conversation before I can say anything, and immediately jumps into club business. MONIKA: This might come as a surprise, but we have a festival coming up soon. HISAO: Oh wow, I never would've guessed. MONIKA: Have you thought about what you want to submit to perform at the festival? HISAO: Well... Being in this club is one thing, but performing in front of a bunch of people......I'll have to give it some more thought. Despite any praise the girls might have given me, I really doubt that my poetry is up to snuff. I'm sure that there's not just a little bias during the poetry discussions… MONIKA: Okay, no pressure! But whatever you do, I'm sure it'll turn out great. You wouldn't want to let down the club, right? She says it with a teasing tone, but a chill runs down my spine when I think about the implications of disappointing everyone. Who knows what Monika would do to me if I betrayed her as her loyal Literature Club subject? MONIKA: Not to mention, I'm also looking forward to seeing your performance. HISAO: Right… That's definitely not something that I can relate to. MONIKA: Ahaha! Don't worry so much, you'll do fine~ After all, you've been doing fine in these poetry discussions so far. HISAO: So you say… MONIKA: Anyway, let's take a look at today's poem! HISAO: Here it is. I let Monika take the poem I'm holding in my hands. But although we're supposed to be discussing poetry right now… I can't help but remain preoccupied by thoughts of Sayori. I'm worried about her, to say the least. It's such an unexpected change that's come over her… Did something happen to her? MONIKA: Hisao? HISAO: Huh? Sorry, did you just call my name? MONIKA: Yeah, twice, actually. You seem like you're a million miles away. What's up? HISAO: Ah, I was just thinking about whatever's happened to Sayori. mc So sorry if I wasn't paying attention… MONIKA: It's fine Hisao, I understand. For what it's worth, you're a good friend for caring so much about her. HISAO: Thanks...I just hope that things can go back to normal soon. MONIKA: Well, my advice to you would be to let her come to you on her own. She'll talk if she wants to talk. I think that you should respect her boundaries. HISAO: You're right...I appreciate the advice, by the way. MONIKA: Of course. I'm always willing to lend a sympathetic ear if you need one. Today might not be the happiest of days for the club. But that's alright. Not every day will be happy. We'll all pull through this, together. HISAO: I hope so… I feel like I shouldn't be going about the club normally. But I think that Sayori probably needs some normalcy right now. So in the end, I try to get the poem sharing back on track. HISAO: Anyway, since we're supposed to be sharing poems right now… MONIKA: Oh, I almost forgot about it myself. Some president I am, huh? Monika quickly whips out her pristine composition notebook. MONIKA: Here's my poem then, alright? HISAO: Thanks. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST Disc 2 - 04 Okay, Everyone! (Monika)  The Box Pt. 2 posted:
Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Okay, Everyone! MONIKA: You know... I feel like looking for answers and contemplating your reality are the sorts of things that give life meaning. Not to get too philosophical or anything... But it was kind of on my mind, so that's what I wrote about. HISAO: I see... mc I never really put much thought into it. MONIKA: In a way, it's almost paradoxical. Because if we had all the answers, wouldn't the world start to lose its meaning? HISAO: You know, there's one thing I noticed... It seems like everyone in the club prefers writing about things that are more sad than happy. How fitting. Somber subjects for a somber day. MONIKA: Ahaha. Are you surprised? I mean, if everything was okay... We wouldn't really have anything to write about, would we? Humans aren't one-dimensional creatures. That's what makes people so interesting. You might think that it would be way better if everyone was happy and uncomplicated all the time… But how would we know what happiness was if it weren't for the sadness to compare it to? HISAO: Hmm, I guess that's true… Even so, I'd rather not see my friends so troubled… MONIKA: Anyway... MONIKA: Here's Monika's Writing Tip of the Day! Do you ever feel discouraged when something you've put a lot of time into doesn't get as much attention as you thought it would? For instance, you could've spent hours and hours on a poem... Only to have your friends barely glance at it when you show it to them. It might make you feel like doing anymore is useless. And the sad truth is, the world is so saturated with creative works already that most people won't receive any attention. At least, relative to the most popular artists and authors. There's actually not much that you can do in that situation besides try your best. However, you also shouldn't think of things in terms of popularity and number of views. The most important thing should be your own personal self-satisfaction. If you're proud of yourself and your work, then I say that that's enough success! ... That was the most depressing Writing Tip of the Day ever… MONIKA: ...That's my advice for today! Thanks for listening~ Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 01:41 on Apr 12, 2022 |
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Apr 11, 2022 22:44
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dear god, i uploaded the wrong update
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Apr 12, 2022 01:42
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Falconier111 posted:dear god, i uploaded the wrong update i forgot we hadn't seen all the poems so i read that entire update without thinking anything was off I guess that doesn't speak too kindly to the game in retrospect, but it was fun in a different way
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Apr 12, 2022 02:45
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