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I helped write this! The part I worked on had to get cut though, unfortunately, since severe health problems kept me from meeting deadlines. Some of my work is still in here and there though. Monika's route actually has all the major scenes done, but there's nothing to connect them together or actual art and the music is all placeholders. Sans, Kyorii and the rest have the patience of saints for being able to finish this after the goddamn nightmare that went on behind the scenes. I'm really happy that it's gotten a generally positive reception even if most of my work won't ever see the light of day. That being said for all the extras in I beg you to leave out the Monika extra scenes, which were from a first draft and didn't even make it into what was going to be the final script. 
Acerbatus fucked around with this message at 03:40 on Apr 12, 2022 |
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Apr 12, 2022 03:33
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Acerbatus posted:I helped write this! I was going to make a post asking you about what kind of research you guys did when I saw you just got perma'd  perfect timing
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Apr 15, 2022 00:41
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Update 11: Ehehe, can’t you see? It means that just because the poet has stopped writing, it doesn’t mean the poem is over! Crop your loving memes. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Doki Doki Literature Club! (Main Theme)  MONIKA: Okay, everyone! We’re all done sharing poems, right? In which case, let’s start figuring out what we’re all going to do for the festival!  NATSUKI: Ugh, you still remembered… MONIKA: I’ll pretend that I didn’t hear that. Anyway, as I was saying. NATSUKI: Well, I already know what I’m doing! MONIKA: That's right. Natsuki will be making her specialty: cupcakes! But we might need a lot of them, and different flavors... Can you handle that all by yourself, Natsuki? NATSUKI: Challenge accepted! MONIKA: And as for myself... I'm going to be printing and assembling all the poetry pamphlets. Sayori, you mentioned goodie bags earlier, if I remember correctly?  SAYORI: Yep. I want to make some goodie bags for everyone...and put in little quotes, bookmarks and candies. MONIKA: Ah yes, that was it. Great idea, people will love that! y Indeed. We’re glad you’re helping, Sayori. SAYORI: Ah, you guys...it’s nothing special. The cupcakes sound amazing, though. NATSUKI: Of course, because I’ll be making them! We all share a collective laugh. MONIKA: How about you, Yuri?  YURI: Hmm. Ideally I’d like to do something that could enhance the atmosphere of our performances. I’d like to experiment with some aromatherapy as well, if that’s okay with you? MONIKA: Of course, that’s fine. I’m excited to see what you come up with. You’ve also got beautiful handwriting, so perhaps something that involves that? Yuri ponders for a moment. MONIKA: How about banners and decorations? YURI: Huhu, it’s funny that you mention that. I was just about to say that myself. MONIKA: Ahaha, well great minds think alike, right? She shares a laugh with Yuri and turns to me. MONIKA: Anyway... That just leaves you, Hisao.  HISAO: The only club member who's useless. MONIKA: Ahaha! Don't say that. In fact... It looks like all of us have a lot of work to do for the festival. I’m pretty sure I speak for everyone when I say that some help would be much appreciated. Ah...so it’s basically a choice between who to spend my weekend with? Why do I suddenly feel so nervous? YURI: Ah… I suppose...I could use a bit of help… NATSUKI: Not that I really need it, but if you want to help bake stuff I could always just have you do some dirty work. But if you help, you better not sneak a cupcake to eat! YURI: Um... Natsuki, I doubt Hisao will want to help you if you make him out to be a burden. If you don't need any help, I believe he'd be better off assisting someone else. NATSUKI: Urk! Well, that's up to him to decide. Maybe he likes baking, have you ever thought of that? Besides, how hard could making decorations be anyway? YURI: I-it's not as though I'm only speaking for myself--! Monika and Sayori would likely be appreciative of help as well. A-and not that it really matters... But decorating requires a lot of creativity and meticulous work. NATSUKI: So does baking! You’ve never baked a day in your life! How could you possibly know- Throughout their bickering, I can’t help but notice that Sayori hasn’t said a word. Does she not want me to help her? Or am I just overthinking this? It’s impossible to think properly with the arguing going on. MONIKA: Guys, guys! Let's settle down for a moment... In the end, it's like Natsuki said. Hisao's the only one who gets to decide how he'd like to contribute.m There’s no need to argue over him like he’s the last boy on Earth. I think it’s fair to say that each of us have plenty of work to do. NATSUKI: This has nothing to do with him being a boy! YURI: I-I agree! We’re merely discussing our workloads! Looks like Monika has united Natsuki and Yuri with a common enemy. MONIKA: Ahaha! Sorry, sorry! I was just saying, though... NATSUKI: Geez... Can we just move on already? MONIKA: Ahaha, alright then, moving along… Hisao, you're okay with this, right? In the end, it's up to you. HISAO: Ah... Of course. NATSUKI: Hmph. YURI: Very well... SAYORI: ... MONIKA: In that case... Everyone looks straight at me, varying expressions playing on their faces.  But of course, I'm going to go with— >Natsuki >Yuri >Monika >Sayori  while maybe this choice originally gave you a chance to score Monika points,, her route is long gone from the finished version. Instead, picking her gives you a brief side scene: =>Monika HISAO: Well, I think that I’d probably be best suited for helping Monika... MONIKA: Oh really, Hisao? How so? NATSUKI: Yeah, I mean it’s not like she has the most work or anything… Heck, even Yuri has more to do! YURI: ... MONIKA: Natsuki, it’s not a competition. NATSUKI: Hey- MONIKA: Although to tell the truth, I would have to agree. Not to put any pressure on you or anything, Hisao! I just think that my job is honestly suited for one person. After all, I'm going to be designing the pamphlets on my laptop. Not sure how you can really contribute with that, aha. HISAO: Ah... I guess that's true. Well, if you're sure you don't need help, then... MONIKA: Don't worry about me - my mom does graphic design, too, so I do have resources if I need help. Anyway, I'm happy that you offered to help me, though! HISAO: Yeah, no problem. So, sorry to make you choose again, aha... But do you have a preference for who to help? And back to the drawing board. This time, we make the obvious choice. =>Sayori HISAO: Hey, Sayori. It’s been a while since we’ve hung out together, hasn’t it? It’ll be a lot of fun making these goodie bags, I reckon. Mind if I give you a hand with them? She doesn’t look quite as happy as I hoped she would be. SAYORI: Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to bore you. Plus it really isn’t that much work. The others have a lot more to do, so I’m sure they’ll get more out of your help than I would. I exchange looks with Yuri, Natsuki and Monika. None of us really know how to react. YURI: It’s okay, Sayori, really. It’s no problem. I work well alone, it wouldn’t cause any hassle. NATSUKI: Yeah, relax! I’ve baked loads of cupcakes before, remember? This’ll be a walk in the park. MONIKA: Sayori, no matter who he picked, the outcome would pretty much be the same. We’ve all got work to do. Our tasks are all equally important in making sure the festival runs smoothly. Don’t feel bad about it. Hisao chose you himself, it’s what he wants to do. Besides, it’s good that he’s going to be with you, because we need someone who can keep you from eating all of the candies. SAYORI: Uwaaa! Hey! MONIKA: Kidding, kidding. Seriously, enjoy yourself, guys. You two will have a lot of fun, I can sense it! Sayori still doesn’t look overly convinced, but she smiles and nods at us. Am I really that much of a burden to work with? No Hisao, don’t think like that. It’s just because she’s got something bothering her, that’s all… MONIKA: Okay, well that’s settled then! Everyone knows what they’re doing, and Hisao is going to be helping Sayori. I think that’s everything sorted then. I’ll see everyone on Monday, and don’t forget to practice your poems! It’ll be fun guys, I promise! Natsuki rolls her eyes as she leaves the classroom, Yuri and Monika in tow. As she passes by the door, Monika turns to us. MONIKA: Take care of yourself, Sayori. She gives her a gentle smile. SAYORI: Don't worry, I'm fine. HISAO: Ready to walk home again? SAYORI: Sure, let’s go.  HISAO: So, I was thinking about tomorrow. We’ll probably have to head to town, to grab the supplies for the goodie bags. Is that okay with you? SAYORI: Mmmhm, that’s fine. What time should I meet you, and where? HISAO: We can meet at my place. Also, seeing as we have a lot of work to do, let’s make it bright and early. SAYORI: Ah...I know we have a big day ahead of us, but could we not make it too early? HISAO: Still a bit lazy, I see? She doesn’t smile at the lighthearted jab. Strange, I thought she’d bounce off it and call me a meanie or stick her tongue out… But that look on her face… SAYORI: No, it’s just I uhm...I guess I’m just not an early riser, ehe… HISAO: No worries. I guess if we both got on with it we could get everything finished earlier than I imagined. SAYORI: Would 11 AM be okay? HISAO: Yeah, I can work with that. Guess it means I get a lie-in as well. SAYORI: Thank you. Anyway, there’s a few shops we can go to in town. I think we’ll need to go to the arts and crafts store along with the sweets one. HISAO: Yeah, sounds good to me! You have my number, right? Just text me if there’s any changes to our plans. Otherwise I’ll see you on Sunday at 11. SAYORI: Okay. We turn to walk off to our houses. SAYORI: Oh, and Hisao? HISAO: Yeah?  SAYORI: I’m sorry about how I’ve been acting today. I promise you I’ll be fine tomorrow.  Today has been a strange day. Just when I thought I was getting closer with Sayori… It makes me think. Are any of the other girls harboring some sort of hidden side to them? Who knows. 23. Our Next Chapter - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST  24. Skip - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST  It’s already Sunday. Knowing that I’ll be spending a day alone with Sayori is kinda weird. Not in a bad way or anything. It’s just been a long, long time since we’ve had a day out together with just the two of us. Still, I’m looking forward to it. I just hope whatever was bugging her on Friday is gone. It was really hard seeing her like that. I shake my head. No, it’s a new day today. It’ll be much better. As my mind drifts while I wait for her, I subconsciously recall a memory from a long time ago. Our parents took us to a fair that came to town. We must’ve been around...eleven? I managed to win Sayori a giant cuddly cow plushie in one of those shooting minigame things. Well actually…my dad did. I couldn’t aim for my life. That’s when I realized that video games don’t train you to shoot in real life… I smile at the memory. Does she remember it as well? The buzzing of the doorbell brings me back to the present. Most likely, it’s Sayori.  Yup, there she is. She’s gone for a pretty casual outfit. It’s simple but works really well on her. SAYORI: Hi, Hisao! Ready to go, then? HISAO: Heya. Sure am, let’s get going! SAYORI: Sooo…where are we going first then? HISAO: Well, I made a list of all the stuff we’ll need, so that’ll be a big help. I fish out a small sheet of paper from my pocket. On it, I’ve written what we need and where to get the items from. HISAO: Hmm. So we need bookmarks, some sweets, ribbon, and some gift bags. To be honest, I have no idea where we can get the gift bags and the ribbon… I was planning to go to the arts and crafts store in town, but apparently it shut down recently. SAYORI: Oooh, really? That’s okay! I actually have some gift bags and ribbon at home! HISAO: Thank god, that’s pretty convenient. You should’ve mentioned it yesterday though. SAYORI: Ehe, sorry...I must’ve forgot… HISAO: Nah, it’s okay. I’m curious why you have those two things, though. What do you use it for? SAYORI: Oh, I don’t use them or anything! They’re a leftover from a birthday party I had years ago! I think it was my tenth one? You remember it, right? She looks at me with puppy dog eyes, and I hasten to try and recall… HISAO: Something about you getting cake all over your face, right? SAYORI: Hey, you did too! I laugh as I realize I can’t claim innocence here. HISAO: Guilty as charged. Well, with those two items down, we just have to visit the bookstore and the supermarket. SAYORI: Which one are we going to first? HISAO: Let’s start with the bookstore. It’s closer. SAYORI: Whatever you say~  As we walk, I notice Sayori humming contentedly, a slight skip in her step. I forgot how adorable she could be. Always so cheery - it’s like she lives in her own little world. She looks like she’s back to normal again. To say I’m relieved would be an understatement. Almost like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. HISAO: Hey, Sayori. You look like you’re in a much better mood today. SAYORI: Of course! I said I’d be fine today, remember? So here I am~ HISAO: It’s a relief to see you back to your normal self. You really had me worried on Friday. SAYORI: No need to worry about me, silly. How’ve you been, anyway? HISAO: Good, good. Never thought I’d be writing poems in my free time, but hey. It’s a real change of pace from what I’m used to, but I’m not complaining. Sayori giggles. HISAO: What? SAYORI: Oh, nothing, nothing. I just didn’t see you as the poetic type, that’s all. All those video games, I guess. You really got into them over the past few years… I shift uncomfortably. I feel like this a reference to us drifting. After all…she’s not wrong. As I became more reclusive, I turned to gaming as an escape. HISAO: Haha, well truth be told I didn’t really think I was a poet either. I guess I never realized how much I enjoy literature. I shrug off the comment about gaming. I want to enjoy today, after all. HISAO: I mean, Yuri showed me this really cool book. Well, maybe not cool, but it was pretty interesting. Something about a girl who escapes from this weird human experimentation prison, and all sorts of horrible stuff happens to her. Sayori pouts, looking very disapproving. SAYORI: Uwaaa, I don’t like the sound of that at all… Sounds really scary! I’d hate to live in a world where horrible stuff like that happened to me… Well, looks like Sayori’s wonderful innocence never went anywhere. HISAO: I’d hate for anything bad to happen to you too, Sayori. I’d never let it happen… SAYORI: You’re so sweet Hisao, you know that?~ I used to be protective of Sayori when we were kids. Guess not much has changed, even after so much time apart.  I hadn’t even realized we’d made it to the bookstore already. As it turns out, the bookstore is actually in a library. It’s pretty small, but after glancing around, it seems to have what we need. HISAO: Alright, here we are! Let’s see what they have… I make a beeline for a rack of shelves carrying a nice variety of bookmarks that includes all different colors and sizes. Sayori wanders over, her eyes wide at all of the choices. SAYORI: Ooh, so many to choose from! HISAO: Yup. Who would’ve guessed there’s such a demand for bookmarks of all things… SAYORI: This blue one is really nice! I look over, slightly wearily. I forgot how excitable she could be… It’s a bookmark with a blue koala. Who makes a bookmark with a blue koala? Sayori seems to love it though. Before I even get to say anything, she starts gushing over another bookmark. SAYORI: Look at this red one! It’s got a little ribbon shape on it, just like mine! Well at least this one is a bit more justifiable... SAYORI: Look at these, Hisao! They’ve got little puns on them! An apple, with the quote “You are the apple of my eye.” A cutesy, smiling cartoon bacon, with the words “I like you more than bacon.” Okay, that one actually kinda made me laugh. HISAO: Hah, I’ll admit, I like the bacon one. The apple one’s too cheesy though. SAYORI: Hmm… Her face is all scrunched up, trying to decide which bookmarks to get. HISAO: Probably better off just getting these plain ones, Sayori. These are just for strangers coming to view our performances. No point getting these cutesy, punny ones. SAYORI: Aww…. No fun. HISAO: Hey, I’ll get you the donut one, though. The donut one has a smiley donut, with the words 'Donut you know how amazing you are?' SAYORI: Oooh, really? Thank you! I love it! It’s not hard to make Sayori smile. I think Sayori forgets that not everyone is into the stuff she’s into. Now that the bookmarks are out of the way, we wander over to the supermarket. SAYORI: Soooo we just need the sweets, right? HISAO: Mmmhm. Do me a favor and don’t spend hours trying to choose some, okay? I know what you’re like with candy… SAYORI: Hey! It’s not my fault I’ve got a sweet tooth! HISAO: Oh? Who’s fault is that then? She sticks her tongue out at me.  As predicted, Sayori is beyond excited. Like a real kid in a candy store. Well, she’s technically not in a candy store. But the saying doesn’t really sound as good when it’s a supermarket, does it? SAYORI: Uwaaa, Hisao! There aren’t any cookies here… I decide to humor her. HISAO: Oh no, seriously? That’s heartbreaking! SAYORI: I know! How can they call themselves a supermarket if they don’t have any cookies?! HISAO: It’s crazy, yeah. Anyway, we still have a lot to do when we get home, so let’s make some choices now, shall we? SAYORI: Okay, okay… We browse the selection, pondering which candy would be the best to buy. HISAO: Hey, Sayori, what’s your favorite flavor of licorice? SAYORI: Strawberry! Why? HISAO: Oh, no reason. Just wondering. Strawberry licorice it is. I’m going to keep this as a surprise for her. Although…doing these little thoughtful things for her makes me pause. Sayori told me I always used to look out for her back when we still hung out. Did I really stop doing all that? I find that kinda hard to believe, given how naturally I find looking out for her to be. SAYORI: I think these’ll be okay, don’t you think? She points into her bag, which’s filled with an assortment of chocolates and other sweets. SAYORI: There’s milk chocolate in here, toffee chocolates, peppermints, all sorts of stuff! People are gonna love it!~ HISAO: They sure will. I’ll just get some of my own candy and then we can get a move on. SAYORI: Okayy~ HISAO: We’ve still got a lot to do, don’t forget! Looks like Sayori’s got the chocolate side of things handled. I decide to go for the fruity sweets. HISAO: Alright, I think that’ll do! SAYORI: Aww, time to leave already? Could you do me a teeny tiny favor? HISAO: Let me guess - buy you some cinnamon buns? SAYORI: How did you know?! HISAO: Whenever our parents took us shopping together, you always used to ask your mom for the exact same thing. She blushes a little, turning away. SAYORI: Guess some things never change, right? Ehehe~ I smile back at her. It’s the little things with Sayori that really warm my heart. HISAO: I’m definitely not complaining. Hands filled with candy, we head to the register to pay. The cashier gives us a stern look, almost like he’s disapproving of all of the sugar we’re carrying. Sayori is totally oblivious, probably too busy thinking about which candy she can get away with eating. HISAO: Okay, so that’s everything! Let’s head home and get started with the quotes. SAYORI: Okay! Although I need to grab the goodie bags and ribbon from my place. So you should head home and get your computer up and running while I do that. That way, by the time I’m back at yours, you’ll be good to go! She really has a knack for showing initiative when I least expect it. Her idea is pretty smart though, so I roll with it. HISAO: Great thinking! Here, hand me the bookmarks so I can take them home. I’ll see you in a bit. Just give me a buzz when you’re outside. SAYORI: Sure thing~  I make my way upstairs and boot up my computer, tossing the bookmarks onto the desk. As the machine whirrs to life, I sit back, idly thinking about literature. There’s probably some really deep quotes out there. I laugh softly to myself, imagining how much someone like Yuri would resonate with those wise words. She’ll probably appreciate the quotes the most. For the second time today, the sound of the doorbell ringing jolts me back into reality. Once again it’s Sayori, who’s clutching a large sack filled with a colorful assortment of gift bags. It looks like she’s literally carrying a rainbow. SAYORI: Hi again! So, here they are!  I lead her upstairs as she carries on being enthralled by all the colors. HISAO: Man, you really couldn’t decide on a color, could you? SAYORI: There are so many pretty ones to choose between, Hisao! I figured you could help me choose, so I brought them all! Ooo…shall we go for the blue, or these pink ones? But these green ones are really pretty, too! HISAO: Sayori, how many do we ne- SAYORI: This one has little cinnamon decorations on it! HISAO: Sayori! SAYORI: Ah...sorry, ehe… HISAO: How many do we need? SAYORI: Hm….good question! I think about fifteen will do, right? Just to be on the safe side! She pulls out some ribbon from the sack. Unlike the gift bags, these are all one color - a very deep red. HISAO: Yeah, can’t see anything wrong with that. Wanna help me with the quotes? SAYORI: Sure! HISAO: Hmm...what about this one? “Writing is its own reward”? I mean...don’t you feel good when you finish one of your poems? Or don’t you feel excited to show that you’ve written to people? SAYORI: Hmm...kinda, I guess? I think Yuri would really like that quote, though, let’s use that one! HISAO: Yeah, I’m with you on that. What about this one? “There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.” SAYORI: ...I don’t get it. HISAO: Neither do I to be honest, haha. But I like the humor, and it strikes me as something people might find funny? I dunno...I think it’s something Monika or Yuri might find amusing. SAYORI: I’ll trust your judgement~ I like this one a lot! “There’s no real ending. It’s just the place where you stop the story.” It actually reminds me of a thought I had about poetry. HISAO: Oh? SAYORI: Yeah! To me, a poem is never actually finished, it just stops moving. That’s kinda...profound. Something I’d expect from Yuri. HISAO: So uh...what does it actually mean? SAYORI: Ehehe, can’t you see? It means that just because the poet has stopped writing, it doesn’t mean the poem is over! HISAO: Uh...well, if you say so, Sayori. SAYORI: I think a lot of people will appreciate this one, what d’ya think? “There is something quite delicious about writing the first words of a story. You never quite know where they’ll take you.” HISAO: I think so too! That one’s so...it makes you feel a sense of wonder, doesn’t it? Exactly the kind of feelings a good story should make you feel. Wow...I sound like Yuri, don’t I? SAYORI: A little bit! She’s rubbing off on you, huh? HISAO: Does that mean I’ll start sounding intelligent? Sayori chuckles, her eyes full of mirth. Her laughter is so innocent and sweet. SAYORI: You already do, Hisao! HISAO: Ahh c’mon Sayori, that’s not true. My poems aren’t anywhere near as good as yours. SAYORI: Mine aren’t anything special, don’t be silly! But I’m sure you’ll be a great poet in no time! HISAO: Ah, well I’ll believe it when I see it, I guess. Anyway, let’s get these printed and start putting together the goodie bags. SAYORI: Okie dokie~ After finding a few more quotes, we get to work. We have all the items ready to go. Now it’s just a case of putting a bookmark, quote, and candy in each bag, then tying it all up with a piece of ribbon. We get to work, a comfortable silence descending upon the room. As we progress, I realize how happy I’ve been all day. It’s not been anything fancy - just going into town with Sayori - but even that has put me in good spirits. Spending time with someone, joking around, reflecting on old memories. This weekend has been miles better than how my weekends typically go - boring, filled with aimless gaming and anime. I’ve missed this. I’ve missed this a lot, I really have. And most of all, I’ve missed Sayori. Today has taught me that I’m determined to spend more time with her. After all, I think she’s enjoyed it too. There’s a lot to catch up on, so I suppose we’ll have plenty to say and do over the upcoming weeks and months. SAYORI: You’ve been pretty quiet Hisao, are you okay? And there it is - that defining trait of hers - always being concerned about others wellbeing. I’m lucky to have someone like her in my life. HISAO: What? Oh, I’m fine, yeah. Sorry. Just been doing a lot of thinking. SAYORI: About what, if I can ask? HISAO: Just...about today. I’ve really enjoyed it. Hanging out with you again. It’s...been a while, hasn’t it? SAYORI: It has! I’m glad you enjoyed it, because I was gonna say that I did too! I haven’t had this much fun in a while~ Hearing that lifts my spirits even further, something I didn’t think was possible. HISAO: You know, I’m genuinely happy to hear that. I haven’t really told anyone, but… Sayori looks at me, her blue eyes swimming with concern. HISAO: Truth be told, I’ve been kinda lonely. Ever since my parents’ divorce, I haven’t really had much contact with people. And spending time with you today...it’s been refreshing. A really nice change of pace, you know? A change from spending the weekend by myself, playing games. SAYORI: Aww, I’m so sorry, Hisao! I had no idea you felt this way! You should’ve told me earlier that you were so lonely… I hate that I couldn’t help you before… HISAO: No no, it’s okay, seriously. It’s not your fault or anything. I’ve just been really reclusive myself. And I’ve really enjoyed the Literature Club so far. Just being able to spend time with people my age again, discover a new hobby...I appreciate it more than I can describe. You’ve all been super welcoming...I know I’m no poet or anything, but that didn’t bother any of you. SAYORI: Well, I’m glad you feel included at the club! That’s exactly what we want the club to be - welcoming. And I’m gonna make sure you’re never lonely again, okay?
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Apr 15, 2022 00:42
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Falconier111 posted:
This bit here is a nod to the original right as it starts to go off the rails. Sayori's line about a poem just stops moving is taken from the last poem she writes (well, at least the last one of hers the player reads). Kind of a dark reference to make honestly. At least the short discussion about it after makes it feel way less ominous.
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Apr 18, 2022 22:07
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Update 12: It looks like all the preparations are almost finished now. I feel like there’s something missing though… 24. Skip - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST SAYORI: Gotta put a smile on your face, you hear me? Can’t have you being sad! Starting with...this! She reaches toward me and starts tickling me, her hands ghosting over my neck and chest. I recoil instinctively, laughing like a small child. HISAO: He-hey! Aahaha, stop that, you k-k-know I’m ahaha t-t-ticklish! My laughter must be a catalyst for her tickling, because as she hears it, she doubles her efforts, a childlike grin on her face. I’m squirming and howling with laughter, almost running out of breath. HISAO: Ahaha plea-please Sayo-ori, ahaha I can’t breathe, just ahahaha give me a s-second! She pauses, giving me a chance to catch my breath. Good, she’s fallen for my decoy. I dart forward, pulling her arms away from me and driving her towards the bed, pinning her beneath me. It’s time to enact some revenge. SAYORI: Wha - nooo! You ehehehe tricked me ahahaha! No faiiiiiiir ahahahahaha! HISAO: Muhahah! Poor little Sayori, bamboozled by the mastermind Hisao! SAYORI: P-Please, have ahaha mer-mercy! HISAO: What was that? Sorry, I didn’t catch that, you’ll have to speak up!  I playfully feign deafness as I carry on tickling her. Her laughter is like music to my ears. She’s squirming under my fingertips, crying with mirth. To see such a big smile on her face...even if it’s kinda involuntary, it’s such a nice sight to see. Her laugh has such an innocent, joyful ring to it. Hearing it transports me back 10 years, back when we had that carefree level of innocence only childhood could have. SAYORI: Ahaha please, seri-seriously, I can’t breathe! She does sound quite short of breath and I’ve been tickling her for a while. I think I’ve had my revenge…  It’s only when I stop tickling her that I realize the situation we’re in. I’m sitting on top of her, pinning her down with my legs. One of my hands rests where her neck meets her shoulder, and the other one is wrapped around her wrist. As the laughter from both of subsides, a new atmosphere takes its place. It’s not exactly awkward...but it’s unusual, and neither of us know how to react. I meet Sayori’s gaze and find...something, in her eyes… what exactly is it? I wish I could read that expression, but the novelty of this situation makes me so unsure. Expectant? Was the word I was looking for? I don’t know… To anyone looking in, this probably wouldn’t look as innocent as we think it does. I hasten to climb off her, and she responds by sitting up on the bed, the completed goodie bags all but forgotten.  HISAO: Sorry, I uh… SAYORI: No no, it’s okay. She responded quite quickly - it isn’t just me who sensed something in the atmosphere. The atmosphere is becoming more and more awkward by the moment. What exactly happened? HISAO: Anyway, I’m glad we managed to get the goodie bags finished! SAYORI: Oh yeah, me too! They were a lot of fun to make, I just hope the other students like them~ I’m glad she’s able to roll with the change of topic. Just like that, some of the awkward air is dispelled. HISAO: Monika will be pleased, too! A lot of effort went into these, I know she’ll appreciate what we’ve done. SAYORI: Mmmmhm. I think Yuri will love the quotes, too. Some of those really reminded me of her. Not just me who thought that, then. HISAO: How’re you feeling about the actual recital, though? SAYORI: Eh...I mean, I knew I probably seemed pretty enthusiastic when Monika asked us… HISAO: But you’re kinda nervous now? SAYORI: Yeah, I guess...it’ll be okay, though! I mean, I have my poem, and I sorta know how I want it to go, so I think with a little more practice it’ll be fine. I mean...what’s the worst that could happen? HISAO: Let’s not think about that… SAYORI: What about you, Hisao? Aren’t you nervous? HISAO: Truthfully, yeah. I don’t have Monika’s confidence, sadly… But hey, I really like the club, and this is my chance to give something back to it, right? SAYORI: Yeah! That’s a great attitude to have! HISAO: Besides, I have an excuse to be bad, haha. I’m new, and nowhere near as experienced as you guys, so that’s my justification if my performance isn’t that great. SAYORI: Hisao! All you have to do is practice, okay? Your performance will be just as good as ours, I know it. HISAO: It’s nice to have someone believe in me, I guess. Thank you, Sayori. SAYORI: No problem! I probably should get going, though...need to practice my poem and stuff. HISAO: Yeah, that reminds me, I should probably do the same. Do you want to take the goodie bags? SAYORI: Sure! HISAO: Okay, I’ll put them in a sack for you, one second… I rummage around, finding a bag big enough for all of the smaller ones. Handing the big one over to Sayori, we both head downstairs. As she hovers by the doorway, she turns around to face me. There’s a shyness on her face. SAYORI: Oh, by the way… HISAO: Yeah? SAYORI: Thanks for today, Hisao. I haven’t had this much fun in a long time… HISAO: Hey, that’s alright! I really enjoyed myself too. We should make this a more regular thing. Her face lights up. SAYORI: Yeah! I like the sound of that~ I’ll see you tomorrow for the festival, okay? HISAO: That you will. See ya tomorrow, Sayori. As she waves and walks off, bag in hand, it takes me a few moments to identify what it is I’m feeling inside. Something as simple as going to town and making goodie bags with Sayori... It made me feel really warm inside. How has it taken me this long to realize? 23. Our Next Chapter - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST  In the main game, Sunday sees Sayori’s tragic death and the moment all that glitching kicks in. Here, it sees the player have an informal first date with whichever character they’re probably going to end up with. These scenes more the point where the game diverges from Canon and starts going its own direction, much to its benefit; from now on, the writers will be doing their own thing. 25. Cinnamon - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST It's the day of the festival. The preparations for the event should be nearly complete, given all the work everyone’s put in over the weekend. Funnily enough, I probably feel the same way as Natsuki about the event. I'm more excited for it to be over so I can spend time with Sayori at the festival. We’re meant to walk together, but she’s late again. I don’t want to leave her behind, but if she takes much longer I’m going to be late for school. More time passes. There’s going to be a moment of decision soon if she doesn’t arrive. Just as I’m getting ready to leave, I finally spot her, slowly making her way down the street. She’s carrying a large sack in her hands and I’m surprised she isn’t running over to me; isn’t she aware of how late she is?  HISAO: Sayori! Where’ve you been? We could’ve been late for school! SAYORI: Uwaaa, I know, sorry! I um… HISAO: Overslept again? Or couldn’t decide what to have for breakfast again? She immediately pouts. SAYORI: You’re such a meanie sometimes… HISAO: Aha, you know my teasing is all in good fun, right? She mumbles something under her breath. SAYORI: Of course!~ By the way, I also double checked the little bags - they’re all in here! She gestures to the large sack, a bright smile evident on her face. HISAO: Good stuff, Sayori. People are gonna love them. That was a really good idea. Candy, bookmarks and literature quotes. Perfect things to give out from our event. SAYORI: Uh huh! Something for everyone. SAYORI: Although…I’m kinda nervous for the festival… HISAO: Honestly, I don’t blame you for that. It’s kinda nerve-racking isn’t it? I mean...I know how much it means to Monika, but at the same time I didn’t really realize how intimidating reciting poetry to a bunch of strangers can be. SAYORI: Yeah, I was all for it back in the clubroom. But now that the actual day is here… She looks a little nervous. I reach over and give her a squeeze on the shoulder. HISAO: We’ll be fine, don’t worry. I know how much you like poetry, plus your poems are great! I just hope my own performance is up to standard. SAYORI: Oh, don’t be silly, Hisao! They’ll love your poem, I just know it! I chuckle, admiring the definitive optimism that really makes Sayori, well...Sayori. HISAO: Guess we’ll find out, haha. By the way, are you doing anything after the festival? Anything fun? SAYORI: Nope! I haven’t really planned that far ahead...I’m not great at doing that, anyway. Ehehe~ SAYORI: I’m kinda hoping we finish early so we can have the rest of the day off, to be honest. HISAO: So what you’re really saying is that you just want to go home and sleep, right? SAYORI: Ooh, look at how many students there are! How many clubs are having their own little event today? What a tactical change of topic that was. Our school is in sight, and there’s a lot of students milling around. It’s a little strange to think that there’s so many fellow students around, yet I’ve still been feeling so lonely. Or at least before joining the Literature Club. Times like these make me grateful that Sayori told me about it the club in the first place. HISAO: I dunno, probably quite a few. ...By the way, Sayori. SAYORI: Hmm? What’s up, Hisao? HISAO: I just wanted to say uh...well, no matter how this festival goes, I’m really grateful you told me about your club and let me join. I’ve had a lot of fun so far. I scratch the back of my head nervously as Sayori looks curiously at me. I’ve never been good at expressing myself, and it probably shows. HISAO: I guess what I’m trying to say is uh...thank you. It’s been so fun being able to spend time with you again, too. It really takes me back. SAYORI: You don’t have to thank me for anything, silly! I’ve enjoyed it too. After all, it would be lovely if things could go back to how they used to… HISAO: 'How they used to?' What do you mean? SAYORI: Oh, nothing, ehehe~ Strange choice of words. What could she mean by this? As we enter the courtyard and make our way to our meeting room, she breaks the silence by giggling. HISAO: Something funny? SAYORI: I’ve just thought of a way to steal one of Natsuki’s cupcakes without her realizing! HISAO: Uh...are you sure that’s a good idea? Natsuki might be little but you know better than I do that she can be really fiery. SAYORI: Oh don’t worry about her! She might seem a bit mean on the outside, but she’s harmless. Don’t let her fool you! Well. I’d rather her than me… 12. Festival! - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST  MONIKA: Hisao! Sayori! It’s good to see you guys! Do you want to come and give me a hand? Monika is placing little booklets on each of the desks in the classroom. They must be the ones she prepared that has all the poems we're performing. In the end, I found a random poem online that I thought Monika would like, and submitted it. So, that's the one I'll be performing. MONIKA: Hey, do you guys want to check out the pamphlets? They came out really nice! HISAO: Yeah, sure. Oh yeah, they really did. SAYORI: Mhmm, they look really pretty! HISAO: Something like this will definitely help people take the club more seriously. MONIKA: Yeah, I thought so too! I flip through the pages. Each member's poem is neatly printed on its own page, giving it an almost professional feel. I recognize the girls’ poems from the ones they performed during our practice. Just then, Natsuki bursts into the room carrying a box that positively towers over her. Yuri trails in behind her, carrying a rolled up banner and a large duffel bag. NATSUKI: Alright, it's festival time! Wow, you guys got here before me? I thought I was pretty early. YURI: Ahh...I’m sorry for being the last one here. I’m glad that some preparation is already underway though. It should take less time to set everything up this way. SAYORI: Yeah! Let’s work hard together, everyone! Natsuki unpacks her box to reveal four trays of cupcakes stacked carefully on top of each other. NATSUKI: Hisao! I jump at the sudden outburst. HISAO: Y-Yes? NATSUKI: Help me lay out these cupcakes! YURI: Uhm, then if you wouldn’t mind… Sayori, can you help me with these…? Yuri gestures at her bag, to which Sayori nods cheerfully. I help Natsuki with her cupcakes while Yuri and Sayori start putting up decorations. Meanwhile, Monika continues putting down pamphlets. It isn’t long before Natsuki has carefully arranged her cupcakes in a neat formation. Each cupcake is topped with white icing and some kanji written in a variety of different colored frostings. HISAO: Wow, these look really good. Great idea to make them literature club themed as well, Natsuki. NATSUKI: Yeah, it was a good idea, huh? I wrote down words that specifically have to do with poetry and our poems too! She picks up a cupcake to show me. NATSUKI: See, this one says “create!” HISAO: Er, isn’t that the kanji for \use?\ NATSUKI: Eh?!? As Natsuki furiously checks over the rest of her cupcakes to look for more miswritten characters, I glance over at Sayori and Yuri. They’ve put up a banner with an inspirational quote written on a colorful gradient of the colors of the sky. “A good writer possesses not only his own spirit but also the spirit of his friends.” YURI: Ah, that’s a quote by the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. He’s had some very interesting thoughts, although there are some that I don’t quite agree with. HISAO: Oh, I think I’ve heard of him… As usual, Yuri outclasses me with her intellect. It seems that they’ve also hung up a curtain of origami paper tied to ribbons in the doorway. Upon closer inspection, each paper has a different kanji character written on it. HISAO: Hey, it looks like you did something similar to Natsuki with your kanji curtain. YURI: Is that so? I’ll have to take a look at what she’s done after I finish setting up. She gestures to a few candles and a wooden cylinder-shaped object. SAYORI: Yuri said that that’s an essential oils diffuser! YURI: Huhu. Yes, it’s for aromatherapy, one of my favorite contributors to a positive atmosphere. HISAO: Huh...I’m excited to see how it works later! It looks like all the preparations are almost finished now. I feel like there’s something missing though… Suddenly, I notice a large bag sitting forlornly by itself to the side. HISAO: Sayori, d’ya mind handing me that sack you’ve got? I’ll help you distribute all of the stuff inside it. SAYORI: Okay! Here you go. Peering inside, I catch sight of quite a few small colorful bags, neatly tied shut with ribbons. Ah, just as I remember. Her handiwork from yesterday really shows. I pull one out. Yuri and Monika notice the little bags, looking on with interest. MONIKA: Ah, so this is what you and Hisao have been working on over the weekend, Sayori? I love how these look, you both did a fantastic job! HISAO: Oh it’s mostly Sayori. I couldn’t do the ribbon part if my life depended on it, haha. YURI: I’m sure the contents are just as impressive as the exterior. What sort of things did you choose for the quotes? SAYORI: Ehehe, we had a lot of fun with that! She delicately opens one of the little bags, fishing out a quote. SAYORI: “It’s perfectly okay to write garbage - as long as you edit it brilliantly.” Wait...I didn’t put this one in! HISAO: Oh yeah, that one was mine. I thought it was kinda funny… Monika giggles, whereas Yuri and Sayori look like they’re trying to figure out what punchline is. Well, one out of three isn’t so bad... HISAO: How about this one? I hastily open another bag, picking out the quote. HISAO: “Sometimes, when you’re writing a poem - or a story - your brain gets fixated on a specific point. Just force yourself to get something out on paper, and tidy it up later!” MONIKA: I like that one a lot, Hisao! After all, it’s pretty much true - if you never start, you can’t make any progress. Keeping your pen in the same spot would just result in a big puddle of ink… SAYORI: We couldn’t find out who said that, which is a shame...ooh, have you guys tried the candy? HISAO: Uh...don’t you think we should save those for the people we made these bags for, Sayori? SAYORI: Oh yeah...ehehe~ Natuski’s irritated voice rings over from across the classroom. NATSUKI: Hey! If you guys are finished over there, can you actually sort Sayori’s stuff out? You know, we do have a festival to prepare for! She huffs, and the rest of us share a guilty grin. Natsuki's right. YURI: Ah...I suppose Natsuki raises a valid point. HISAO: Yeah. Let’s get to it then… We each delve into the sack and scoop up the little bags, going around the classroom and setting them down on each desk. We printed out a few spare quotes to put around the classroom, and it’s not long before a few desks bear the wise words of writers and poets alike. Sayori wanders over to the front door and sticks one of the quotes there. I’m impressed by her thinking - everyone will see the quote that way. It doesn’t take long to distribute all of the little bags around the room. Out of the corner of my eye I spot Sayori trying to sneakily open a bag and pop a candy into her mouth. Naturally, she drops the chocolate. Some things never change…  By the time we finish, it looks like everyone else is done too. The classroom is now darkened and lit up by the ambient lighting of the candles. A delicate floral scent wafts through the air, courtesy of Yuri’s essential oils. Sayori and I head towards the other three girls, who are huddled near the front of the classroom, murmuring to each other. HISAO: Is it about time to start yet?  Note the darkened sprite. MONIKA: Almost, we wrote that we were going to start at 10 A.M. on our posters and that’s in...10 minutes. NATSUKI: Are people actually going to show up for this? MONIKA: Don’t be so negative. Some people have shown up already, and I’m sure that more will file in soon. You guys don’t have to be worrying so much about it. I’ve got full faith in all of you~ I’ve seen all of your poems. It’s been amazing watching each and every one of you find and nurture your unique writing styles. She smiles encouragingly at each of us. To her credit, her words are helpful, even though I haven’t been part of this club for as long as the other three. NATSUKI: Even Hisao? MONIKA: Natsuki SAYORI: Natsuki! NATSUKI: It was just a joke, geez. Thought some humor would lighten the mood… MONIKA: Ah, sorry. Just trying to make sure everyone’s in the best frame of mind before we start…  YURI: It’s okay, Monika. We all understand and appreciate that. SAYORI: Yeah! We know how much this club means to you; I want it to be a success just as much as you do~ HISAO: Couldn’t have put it better myself. Even though I’ve only been in the club for a few days, I’ve felt really at home. Truth be told, I used to be...kinda lonely. Knowing that I’m included in something with people like you guys always makes me feel better. Apart from Sayori on Sunday, I haven’t told anyone about how lonely I’ve been feeling. I’m a little nervous about how the others will react. They all turn to me, varying degrees of emotion on their faces. Natsuki impassively looks to the side, while Yuri gives me an expression of concern. Sayori looks a little sad, remembering our conversation about this. SAYORI: It’s okay, Hisao. We can change that, remember? Like I said, I’m so happy that you feel welcome here. It’s exactly what we wanted!~ YURI: I agree. No one should feel alone, I know it’s quite a difficult thing to experience. I feel a warm flush of gratitude at their words. HISAO: Thanks guys, that means a lot. Also, Monika - I told Sayori this earlier and I figured you might appreciate hearing this. MONIKA: Hmm? HISAO: Well...no matter how the festival goes, I just wanted to say thank you. To all of you. Thanks to you guys, that lonely feeling has disappeared. You’ve all been so welcoming and accepting and believe me, I’m really appreciative of that. So...even if this event doesn’t quite go as planned, just know that I really love it here and I’m so glad Sayori told me about this club. If others don’t like what we have here...well, it’s their loss, right?  The girls nod in agreement, smiling at me. I had no idea my words would have such an impact, but I’m glad they did in the end. It feels so rewarding to be able to give back to the club for a change. Monika turns to me, eyes shining with appreciation. MONIKA: Thank you Hisao, you’re right. Hearing those words from a newcomer really makes me feel like I’ve succeeded in my goals as president. After all, I wanted to create a place where people can feel comfortable and share literature, and what you’ve just said makes me feel like it was all worth it. She turns to face the others. MONIKA: See, guys? If we could show Hisao how amazing this club is, who’s to say we can’t show the other students the same thing? Don’t see them as strangers, see them as...potential club members! She’s definitely got an inspiring way with words. SAYORI: Yeah, good thinking, Monika! What’s the worst that could happen? NATSUKI: Yeah yeah. But if they say anything bad about my cupcakes I’m gonna kill them… Yuri giggles softly. YURI: I won’t lie to you, I’m still quite nervous. But after hearing what you’ve said, Hisao, I realized there might be other lonely people out there. This club would be the perfect place for them. NATSUKI: Yeah, we might even find more manga enthusiasts! MONIKA: That’s the spirit! Now, let’s go and show the rest of the school just what the Literature Club is made of! As if on cue, a few people wander into the room, curiously looking around the room. Monika confidently walks over and greets them. And so it begins. 12. Festival! - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST Monika and Sayori have greeted the newcomers and settled them in desks throughout the classroom. Some people are already helping themselves to cupcakes, and I notice Natsuki keeping an eye on them. Meanwhile, Yuri is nervously looking through a pamphlet. I can see her soundlessly mouthing the words to her poem. Now that I think about it, I should be getting some extra practice in as well… Before I can do so though, Monika heads back towards us with Sayori in tow. MONIKA: Showtime, everyone. SAYORI: Let’s do this guys! NATSUKI: Time to get this over with. YURI: I can do this… We group up and stand together at the front of the classroom. Monika steps up to the podium and clears her throat, drawing the room’s attention to her.  MONIKA: Okay, everyone! Welcome to the Literature Club’s poetry performance! My name is Monika, as some of you may know… Some girls sitting near the front of the classroom wave at her. MONIKA: And I’m the president of the club! Accompanying me is the vice president, Sayori- SAYORI: Hi guys! MONIKA: And the rest of our club members, Yuri, Natsuki, and last, but certainly not least, Hisao! We all wave back at the students with varying degrees of enthusiasm. MONIKA: I hope that you’ll all enjoy our poetry, and that we’ll be able to help contribute to a memorable festival. Literature is amazing in its ability to connect us to the human condition, and we really hope that this event will help encourage others to start participating as well. Our club will gladly welcome any new members, from those who love words and writing as well, to anyone who’s simply just curious and wants to learn more. After the scheduled performances, we’ll be opening up the stage for anyone else who wants to perform, so don’t be shy! And now, without further ado, I’ll be starting with my poem: The Way They Fly! Sayori, Natsuki, Yuri, and I head off to settle down in the frontmost desks, saving the seat at the end for Monika. She stands there, alone yet still radiating confidence. After flashing a smile and a wink at us, she begins. Each word is crystal clear and exudes emotion. Somehow, her recitation is even better than it was only a few days ago. She must have practiced hard to try to achieve perfection. The classroom is silent at first, drinking in her words. After a few moments however, some whispering starts up in the back of the classroom. I guess that that’s inevitable, but it still doesn’t make it any less annoying. I exchange a look with Natsuki, who rolls her eyes at the disruptions. Sayori pats my hand and gives me an encouraging smile. She’s comforting as always. As Monika’s poem progresses, more and more people wander in. Normally this would be a good thing, but they’re making a lot of noise. Thankfully they simmer down once they realize Monika’s speaking, but the damage has already been done. She reaches the end of her poem, the last few words resonating in the classroom. A round of applause fills the room and Monika beams at everyone, patiently waiting for them to finish. MONIKA: Thank you for listening, everyone! I hope you enjoyed my poem and that it gave you a flavor of what this club is like. For the newcomers - welcome! We’re just in the midst of showing you all of our poems. For the benefit of those who have just joined, she quickly reintroduces everyone. MONIKA: Anyway, up next is Natsuki. Take it away!  Natsuki stumbles slightly as she makes her way to the front of the class. I guess the nerves are really getting to her. It doesn’t help that someone sniggers, causing her to turn to glare at them. Sayori seems to notice too, as she hastens to shoot Natsuki a reassuring smile. Natsuki stands at the front of the classroom with her poem in hand, slight traces of irritation still visible on her face. NATSUKI: Anyway, so my poem’s called Jump. She takes a deep breath and begins her recital. Just as I was hoping, she’s able to inject her trademark bouncy style into the performance, bringing the words to life. She doesn’t quite radiate the confidence Monika did, but her unique style shines through, giving the poem a flow and rhythm. While simple, it’s effective. My heart sinks as I start picking up on the newcomers having their own conversation in the back of the room. I’m hit with a surge of anger - how can they be so inconsiderate?! It’s clear that they aren’t paying any attention, and from the pause and change in Natsuki’s tone, she’s clearly picked up on it as well. Why can’t they just save their stupid, selfish conversations for after our performances? (Silence) Her poem comes to an end, but unlike with Monika’s, there’s a slight awkward moment of silence. Once again there’s a round of applause, but it’s clear that the audience’s engagement isn’t quite as strong. MONIKA: Great performance, Natsuki! I really liked the rhythm of that poem. Natsuki forces a smile and makes her way back to her seat. It’s clear that she’s upset. MONIKA: Anyway, our vice-president Sayori is next to perform! SAYORI: Hi everyone! I hope you like my poem, ehehe~ She cheerily skips up to the front, poem in hand. As she turns to face us, she looks a little nervous, fidgeting slightly. SAYORI: Ehehe...sorry, I’m a little nervous… MONIKA: It’s okay, Sayori. Just remember what we’ve practiced, I’ve got full faith in you! HISAO: Yeah, you’ve got this. SAYORI: This one’s called My Meadow. 13. Festival? - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST  She begins her poem. Her soft voice guides us through the recital, and there’s a remarkable contrast between her cheerful inflection and the more bittersweet nature of the words. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice people casually flicking cupcake wrappers onto the floor, along with candy wrappers lying on the tables. Worse still, the talking is getting louder and more noticable. Monika looks around at the perpetrators, frowning at them. One of the students lets out a loud yawn, making absolutely no effort to Another student picks up one of the quotes and nudges their friend. They both frown and laugh at the message, and I get the horrible feeling it’s more the mocking kind of laugh. At this point I’m seeing red. If we weren’t in school, I would’ve punched these inconsiderate pricks by now. No one should be this rude to Sayori. She’s probably the sweetest person I’ve ever met. Despite the now obvious disruptions, she's still trying her best and is making a real effort to continue. To her credit, her performance is still commendable. She manages to work the contrast of her enunciation against the words in her favor. It adds an interesting depth to the poem. I’d love to see more of this side to her. She brings her performance to a close, hands shaking slightly. MONIKA: Lovely poem, Sayori! You really brought that one to life. SAYORI: Thank you~ Something’s off with her voice. It’s like how she was on Friday… Monika stands up, turning to address everyone in the room. MONIKA: Just a polite reminder that it would be much appreciated if everyone could give our poets some respect while they’re performing. Monika looks stern while Natsuki looks positively furious. MONIKA: Thank you. Now, the stage is all yours, Yuri.  Yuri is looking terrified at this point. Sayori gives her a reassuring squeeze and I lean over, whispering into her ear. HISAO: You’ve got this, Yuri. Just pretend like it’s only me, Natsuki, Sayori and Monika. YURI: I’m...I can’t do this, Hisao. HISAO: Yes you can. I believe in you. I’ve seen how passionate you can become when you talk about Portrait of Markov. I loved that. I loved seeing that side of you. Besides, like you said… This club could be the perfect place for any of these people. We just don’t know it yet. She swallows nervously, nodding at my words. YURI: O-okay. Thank you. She rises to her feet, poem clasped firmly to her chest and avoiding eye contact with everyone as she walks up. Her eyes flick up to glance at the classroom when she gets on stage, although she quickly ducks her head back down to look at her poem on the podium. YURI: T-This poem is titled Afterimage of a Crimson Eye. Her voice quivers as she starts, but unlike her recitation a few days ago, the meek and trembling version of Yuri remains well into the poem. She determinedly forges ahead, but I can tell that she’s not enjoying it in the slightest. The rest of the classroom, momentarily subdued by Monika’s words, soon begins to grow louder again. After a few lines of her poem, they are even more unruly than before - the crinkling of wrappers fills the air, and at a few points Yuri is almost drowned out by others’ voices. I catch a few people getting up and leaving the classroom, and by the slight hitch in her voice it seems that Yuri’s seen them as well. Her eyes stay glued to her poem now, and it looks like she’s trying her hardest to ignore everyone. One boy quietly wolf whistles at Yuri, causing her to jump and lower her head even more. She’s practically shaking like a leaf.
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Apr 19, 2022 00:21
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...Hisao smash?
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Apr 19, 2022 02:03
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Falconier111 posted:One of the students lets out a loud yawn, making absolutely no effort to Another student picks up one of the quotes and nudges their friend.
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Apr 19, 2022 07:01
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KennyMan666 posted:First sentence is cut off here, guessing there's a "listen" or "pay attention" missing.  Yeah, I’ll take a look at that. But first:It’s that time for the first time, folks! Between the thread and the discord, we have just about enough  posts to work into the OP, and I’d like to lay out exactly what happens next. Discussion of disability, especially by disabled people, gets buried under taboos and barriers or sanitized before it reaches an audience, so I’ve taken to linking to standout posts in the OP describing important experiences and observations about disability, the game, or both. Here’s the issue: I have a background in oral history, and I know drat well how sensitive information about a person’s disabilities is from a legal and moral standpoint. But I can’t really apply the full set of ethical standards to this thread without it getting ridiculous, so this is my compromise with myself. You can give me permission just to use those specific posts in the OP or give it for any of your posts going forward; in the latter case, say specifically that  you grant me permission to use your posts in this thread going forward unless you specifically say otherwise . And I mean it - you can tell me at any time to take this stuff down and I will, or tell me to initialize or anonymize your name so it doesn’t get attached to the links when they hit the LPArchive. I will not use something you write without your permission. You can contact me via PM, in the discord, or in the thread at any time with requests or further questions.So let’s get started. SimplyUnknown1, JeffRaze, namtab, Ghost Car, Tulip, Funktor, Antistar01, dotchan, you all posted something I think deserves inclusion, so I’ll need to get your permission. That includes if I have your permission for the KS thread; this is a separate project and that ethically requires separate permission. I’d also like some advice on how to migrate posts from the discord over here; I can’t really link to them (especially if I want them in the archive eventually), so I think I’ll have to crosspost them; I’m not sure whether I should batch-post things with similar topics in separate posts or post everything in one mega post or what. Let me know if you have any ideas or opinions; I don’t know whether filling the thread up with my posts would be annoying to read even if they aren’t actually my posts. And finally, since this was an issue last thread: some of you might bit think your posts/experiences are interesting enough to deserve inclusion. They are. I guarantee you, no matter how small or mundane you think it is, there’s someone out there who’s never even thought of it or who thought they were the only ones who experienced it. That sort of thing haunts thinking about disability in general and it doesn’t help anybody; trust that you have something to say.
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Apr 20, 2022 19:44
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Namtab is already a pseudonym so you can use my posts in this and any other threads we may post together in in future for whatever
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Apr 20, 2022 20:54
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For discord you’re probably best off just taking screenshots
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Apr 20, 2022 20:55
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You have my carte-blanche permission to include anything I say here or on Discord in whatever manner you like. I'm not picky.
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Apr 20, 2022 21:01
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You're still welcome to include my posts - thanks for asking!
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Apr 20, 2022 21:20
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You have my permission to use my posts in this thread going forward unless I specifically say otherwise
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Apr 20, 2022 22:25
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Namtab posted:For discord you’re probably best off just taking screenshots Not screenreader-accessible, I’m afraid; I’d have to transcribe them anyway.
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Apr 20, 2022 23:53
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Update 13: Okay, so I’m here. 13. Festival? - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST This is absolutely disgusting behavior, and I open my mouth to say something. Suddenly, Natsuki stands up, a loud scraping noise from her pushing away from the desk drawing the attention of the students.  NATSUKI: Can you all just shut up? I’m really freaking sick of this - how can you guys be so rude?! We’re trying our best to our best to show you something amazing here, and you’re just going to stomp all over our hard work like that? Unbelievable. I can’t even understand how people can be this arrogant and - ugh, just this plain terrible! I didn’t want to interrupt you, Yuri, but I can’t stand it anymore. You idiots might as well leave if you aren’t even going to pretend to pay attention! There’s complete silence for a beat. STUDENT: Only came for the food anyway. Let’s go guys. I throw a panicked look over to Monika, who’s holding a strange, stiff expression on her face. Looks like she’s struggling to stay calm for everyone. After a few moments, there’s barely anyone left. Yuri, meanwhile, quietly begins speaking again, but her voice is barely audible. There’s just a stifling silence accompanying her words. When she finishes, a weak smattering of applause sounds from the few who are left. She unsteadily steps down from the stage, a blank look on her face. She won’t look at any of us either... I’m worried about her… MONIKA: O-Okay- Monika’s voice cracks as she speaks up. She’s still trying her best see us through this. I don’t think any of us could have predicted that it would turn out this way… MONIKA: Ahem. Thank you, Yuri, you did wonderfully. I’m sincerely sorry for all the disruptions and sheer arrogance you had to endure. Those kinds of people really are the worst. To those who are left, I want to thank you all for staying and apologize as well. This is definitely not a normal occurrence for the Literature Club, I assure you. Well...let’s finish this off with Hisao then. When I get to the podium, I’m appalled by the sight of the classroom. Candy and cupcake wrappers are strewn across the floor, and quote cards lay tossed about, with many of the cards now featuring shoe prints over the words. The remnants of goodie bags are left ripped apart on desks. Even the kanji curtain looks tangled up and messy. The only students left are the ones who waved to Monika at the beginning. This is what Yuri had to see when reciting her poem...no wonder she didn’t want to look up and face these people. Can I really do this now? How were the others able to finish their poems? I look at the clock. Only 10:20. Has it really only been 20 minutes? Taking a shaky breath, I begin to speak. HISAO: Hi everyone. I’d like to take a second to apologize as well, both to those checking out the club today and to those who are already in it. But despite everything that’s happened, I can say that I’m glad I joined since I got to meet so many amazing people. I believe that you guys will love it as much as I did too. mc Anyhow...I hope that you’ll all enjoy Acquainted with the Night. I start reading, and am struck once again by the beauty of the poem. The loneliness and isolation conveyed so accurately...I can relate to a lot of these feelings. I won’t be as good as the others at reciting, but I can only hope that I’ll be able to do the poem justice. Thoughts of doing both the poet and the club proud strengthen my spirit, and I manage to fight through the depressing mood. The quiet of the classroom suits the lines of the poem well, and my recital seems to fly by rather quickly. MONIKA: Excellent performance Hisao, what a great way to round off the event. As I step down from the stage, Monika stands up and addresses the room. MONIKA: Thank you all for coming and staying; I truly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. m That’s it for the scheduled recitations, but you guys are free to stay and hang out if you want. There’s an awkward silence for a few moments, then the remaining students start to stand up.   SHIORI: Hey Monika. Oh, and you too, Hisao. I didn't know you were in this club. The girl standing before us is actually my homeroom's class representative, Shiori. Given that both she and Monika are class reps, they're probably friends. HISAO: Yeah, I only joined about a week ago, so... SHIORI: Ah, I see, I see. HISAO: Yup... SHIORI: Hey, the way you guys were treated was seriously awful. MONIKA: It's fine, aha...thanks for staying. SHIORI: Either way... Sorry about everything, Monika. I’ll check out the club sometime. She gives us a small commiseratory smile, and I’m torn between wondering whether everyone's pitying us or sympathizing with us. They all start to file out of the classroom after a few more goodbyes. Monika keeps a strained smile plastered on her face; meanwhile, Yuri has her head buried in her arms on the desk. In contrast, Natsuki is staring straight ahead, gritting her teeth, and Sayori looks down at her desk, picking at a spot on the varnished wood. (Silence)  To say there’s tension in the air would be a massive understatement. There’s silence in the room, made worse by the sense of awkwardness. No one knows what to say. No one expected the festival to end this way, and the impact is hitting us all. HISAO: So...that could have gone better… My attempt at humor falls flat, and I immediately regret speaking. Natsuki gives me a dirty look, but Sayori smiles wanly. Meanwhile, it looks like Monika’s face has finally fallen.  MONIKA: I don’t understand…where did we go so wrong, guys? We spent so long preparing for this, and after all our efforts… For the first time, that outgoing confidence Monika always seemed to radiate has snuffed out. She clearly cared a lot about this event, and I feel awful for her. HISAO: I know, I don’t get it either… I thought you guys all did such a good job as well. The decorations, the recitals… I’m sorry, Monika. MONIKA: Ah, don’t worry about it Hisao. It’s not like it’s your fault, anyway. She smiles weakly at me. Glancing around, I notice that Yuri and Natsuki seem particularly upset, with Yuri looking absolutely dejected and Natsuki steaming mad. NATSUKI: This is your fault, Monika! I told you this was a stupid idea! None of us were even that comfortable with doing it in the first place…now look where it’s landed us. 15. Argumentative - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST  MONIKA: Excuse me? My fault? You all agreed to do this, pardon me for thinking it would actually go well! What’s so wrong about that? NATSUKI: We only agreed to do it because we felt like you were forcing us! I was really hoping this wouldn’t happen. Given everyone’s low moods, an argument is the last thing we need… MONIKA: I didn’t force anyone, Natsuki! You know how much this club means to me, I was just excited to show what we have to the rest of the school! NATSUKI: Yeah, because that was such a good idea, wasn’t it? MONIKA: I’m really starting to get sick of your constant sarcasm, you know. Why can’t you just try being positive, for once in your life? NATSUKI: Gee, it’s funny you should say that, because I’m really starting to get sick of your self-righteous, know-it-all attitude. We told you this was a bad idea, but noooo. You just had to insist on this, even though no one was happy with it. MONIKA: It was for a reason! Look at how much Hisao enjoys it here! Is it really so unreasonable to think that we could’ve found someone else like him? Or is that just too positive for you to even fathom? This is awful. The other students were bad enough, but now Monika and Natsuki are going for each others’ throats? NATSUKI: Look at how badly everyone was humiliated. How inconsiderate all of those...those… She struggles for a moment, her anger inhibiting her ability to speak. NATSUKI: Those assholes were. To all of us! They didn’t give a drat about anything we had to say! What did that one prick say? He was only here for the food? All of that hard work, just for what? Nothing.  She angrily kicks one of the desks. The loud noise jolts Yuri, who looks up with tears in her eyes. YURI: P-Please, Natsuki, can you calm d— NATSUKI: Don’t tell me you’re taking her side, Yuri! You had to experience the worst of it! I don’t get why you’re not mad either. YURI: N-Natsuki, there’s no point in being angry at Monika. She didn’t want this to happen; she had no idea people would react this way. It’s bad enough that the students were rude, and I really don’t like fighting inside the club itself… NATSUKI: Yeah yeah, but if Monika just listened to us when we said we weren’t comfortable with the whole idea, this would never have happened! Monika sighs. This is the kind of conflict she generally leaves for Sayori to deal with. But in this case, Sayori looks too distraught to intervene. MONIKA: Look, what you’re not understanding is that sometimes you just have to take risks. Sure, this didn’t go so well. But there was always a chance it wouldn’t have ended like this, and we could’ve had new members! She turns to me. MONIKA: I mean, you of all people can understand that the best, right Hisao? You made the choice to come here, look how much you enjoy it. NATSUKI: Oh, don’t you try and suck up to him, Monika! Face it, you never listen to us - your club members - or take our opinions into account. Tell me I’m not alone in thinking that, Hisao. Oh great, now I have to choose a side? I really don’t want to do this…I desperately look at Yuri and Sayori, but both look too upset to want to get involved.  So, I guess that’s gonna be… >Monika >Natsuki This is an extremely complicated question I don’t have enough information to answer yet; I’ll wait until we get to Natsuki’s route, most likely. I would be interested knowing what the thread thinks. In the meantime, we’ll just go with the option that best serves our route. =>Monika Something tells me this is going to make me very unpopular with Natsuki…I brace myself for what’s going to come next. HISAO: Natsuki, come on…you know better than I do that Monika loves this club, it’s only natural she’d want to share it with the rest of the school. NATSUKI: Ugh, seriously? You’re actually taking her side? I can’t believe this… HISAO: No! It’s not like that, I’m not ‘taking her side’…it’s just – NATSUKI: Just what? That’s exactly what you’re trying to do Hisao, don’t try and backpedal! MONIKA: Natsuki…that’s not what he’s trying to say, he’s ju- NATSUKI: Oh, of course you’re jumping to his aid! NATSUKI: Shut up, Monika! Monika looks furious, and for a moment I think Natsuki has finally gone too far. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, evidently trying to contain her anger. HISAO: Geez Natsuki, don’t you think that was a little out of order? You didn’t have to shout at her. NATSUKI: What would you know? You haven’t even been here for five days! Why is everyone making me out to be the bad guy here? Remember when Monika said she’d make sure people weren’t going to be rude during our performances? Wow, congratulations! She sure did a fantastic job with that! I mean, it’s not like anyone wolf whistled at Yuri or anything, was it? Some enforcer you were. Her bitter sarcastic tirade continues on, each point worsening the atmosphere. NATSUKI: I’m the only one who can see this for what it is. It’s just Monika trying to use the club to boost her popularity. And it sickens me. You think we’re all just...what, some sort of pawns for you? Explains why you didn’t even consider how reluctant we all were to do this, or why you let everyone just walk all over us. MONIKA: Natsuki, you’re just being ridiculous now. Why would I want to hurt all of us? It’s not exactly been easy on me either! Natsuki lets out a snort of derision. NATSUKI: You? What would you of all people know about life being hard? Monika blinks, looking like she’s been slapped. NATSUKI: It’s easy for you, Monika! With your role as the queen of this school, everyone liking you, all that crap. You have such a “perfect life” and all. Never having to defend your interests, never having anyone ridicule you for the things you like! I share classes with those assholes, you know? And you can bet they’re gonna have a lot of fun telling everyone else about… About how much of a loser we all are! And guess what? It’s all because of you. I can practically hear the venom dripping from her words at this point. It’s absolutely horrible. NATSUKI: Face it. (Sudden Silence)  NATSUKI: Sayori would be a better president than you could ever be. And with that, a sickening silence falls onto the room once more. But this time, it’s a million times worse. The fire in Natsuki’s eyes is blazing, and quiet sobs can be heard from Yuri. Sayori’s miserably hugging herself, looking completely lost for words. Monika is wearing a stony expression on her face, looking both enraged and heartbroken. The whole club waits for her reply to the bombshell Natsuki just dropped on her. 14. Festival... - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST But without a word, Monika turns on her heel and walks out of the door, the impact of Natsuki’s words hanging in the air behind her. No one knows what to say. For a few moments, the heavy silence remains. We all exchange looks. Yuri is meekly wiping her eyes on her sleeve and Sayori is standing around awkwardly. Natsuki on the other hand is refusing to meet anyone’s gaze. She looks like she’s regretting her words a little bit.  SAYORI: Uhm...guys? Please can we...make sure that never happens again? It was awful! YURI: That was horrible to experience, to say the least… Without Monika to restore order and keep things going, the club suddenly feels very aimless and disorganized. SAYORI: Natsuki, I know you’re angry but...can you please find Monika and apologize? NATSUKI: But- SAYORI: Please? I know you’re feeling a bit guilty over what you said. After all, you were a bit mean… Natsuki grumbles something under her breath. HISAO: Nah, it’s okay. I’ll go and find Monika. No offense Natsuki, but I don’t think she’d particularly want to see you right now. I wince as the words leave my mouth. There’s probably a more diplomatic way of saying it… Natsuki glares at me. NATSUKI: Fine. As I turn to leave, I silently motion to Yuri and Sayori to try and talk to Natsuki. Sayori nods and Yuri nervously swallows. (Silence)  Now...where would Monika go? She would probably want somewhere quiet where she could be by herself, right? Which rules out the classrooms, the courtyard and the cafeteria. The only two places coming to mind are the girls toilets, or… The rooftop. Well, I’m hoping it isn’t the girls toilets… I make my way over to the staircase that leads up to the top, thinking about how this conversation is going to go.  Will she even want to talk to me? She didn’t even say anything as she left. Was she that upset? Although...given what Natsuki said, I really wouldn’t blame Monika. Guess there’s only one way to find out.  There’s a door at the top of the stairs, which opens out to the rooftop. Bracing myself, I put my hand on the cool steel door handle and push the door open.  Man, the view up here really is something. I shiver as the wind cuts through my blazer. It's a cold and desolate place, a fitting setting for what just happened... I look around, and there she is. Leaning slightly over the barriers at the edge of the rooftop, face turned away from me. Not a peep sounds from her, not even when the wind slams the door behind me closed. 40. Longing For a Smile - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST  HISAO: Monika? No answer. I slowly approach her, making as little noise as possible in some illogical attempt to not scare her away. HISAO: You...uh, looked pretty upset, so I thought I’d come find you… I trail off, mentally berating myself at how weak that must’ve sounded. She stays completely still as I sidle up to her side, leaning on the railing so that I can see her face. I don't know what I expected...but her expression is oddly calm. HISAO: Monika... MONIKA: Beautiful view, isn't it? HISAO: Er, yeah. You could say that. Is that the reason you came up here? MONIKA: It's part of it. On days like this, the wind and the eternally stretching blue sky make me feel like I can go anywhere. It feels...freeing. There's something comforting in the possibility of getting swallowed up by that blue. Being able to simultaneously take control and lose control. HISAO: ... Monika, are... Well, I know that you're obviously not okay. But I'm not asking if you're okay to know if you're 'okay.' I'm going to ask if you're okay so that you can choose to talk to me about whatever if you want to. To give you an opportunity to open up. So...are you okay? A thin smile appears on her face. Progress? MONIKA: ...That's sweet of you, Hisao. To be honest, I didn't expect you to have any tact at all. Me neither. MONIKA: Did you expect that I'd be crying up here? Contemplating suicide or something? Don't worry, I wouldn't do it just because of the festival. HISAO: ...Well, I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to cry it out. MONIKA: You know, I actually thought that I would cry at first. But maybe I'm all cried out. I guess I've come to terms with all the things that Natsuki said already. She says such weighty words so casually... HISAO: What Natsuki said wasn't true, Monika. I think that you're a fantastic president. I hasten to try to give less empty words after she arches an eyebrow at me. HISAO: And I'm not just saying that to cheer you up either. Remember what I said to you before the festival? During your little pep talk? She faintly nods. HISAO: Well, I’m gonna reiterate it anyway because it’s important you’re aware of how much I mean it. Thank you. For everything. You took me in when I really needed it. Remember how I said earlier that I’ve been feeling lonely? She nods again. HISAO: Well, that’s how things have been for me recently. I haven’t seen much of my parents lately, and most of my days I’d spend alone. All of that changed when I joined your club. You were all so friendly and welcoming. Not once did you ever turn me away because I wasn’t a poet. I mean...between you and me, I know my poems weren’t the greatest, hah… MONIKA: Heh, you have a lot of potential, Hisao. I did like your poems. HISAO: Well I’m glad you think so. But anyway, that’s beside the point. You accepted me for who I was and was always willing to help me. And more importantly, you’ve created something that three other girls hold dear to their hearts. Definitely the sign of a good president, if you ask me. Monika looks down for a moment as if composing herself, and then meets my eyes with a smile. MONIKA: Thank you, Hisao. It really means a lot. Like I said earlier, hearing all of this from a newcomer really does make me believe I’ve hit the goals I set for myself. All I wanted was to create a little haven that people could call home, no matter their writing ability. HISAO: Well, take it from someone who joined only a few days ago then - you’ve definitely succeeded. Also, had you not made this club, I would never have gotten to meet Yuri and Natsuki, or been able to hang out with Sayori again. Nor would I have gotten to get to know you better either, and that would’ve been a real shame, eh? I playfully nudge her, receiving a nudge back. HISAO: This past week has probably been the happiest I’ve ever been in a long, long time. And that… Is all thanks to you. We share a smile, one that I'm now sure is completely genuine on Monika's part. MONIKA: I don’t really know what to say… HISAO: It’s okay, seriously. I just wanted you to know how I felt. Anyway… Natsuki was a bit out of order with her words, but honestly I don’t think she meant it. I guess tensions were just running really high, and you know better than I do how fiery she can be. MONIKA: Yeah...I know she was just really upset, but hearing those words...it hit pretty deep, you know? I tried telling myself not to take her words to heart because I knew she was just upset… But it was that line about Sayori being a better president...I don’t know why it got under my skin so much. HISAO: It was just spite, Monika. People say awful things that they don’t mean when they’re upset. Sayori and Yuri are talking to her now, and I get the feeling she wants to apologize but just doesn’t know how to. MONIKA: Ahaha...well, that's definitely something Natsuki needs work on. By the way… Thank you for making the effort to find me, it really means a lot. I’m suddenly struck by the situation I’m in. Here I am, alone, with one of the most attractive, popular girls of the year, having a heart to heart. Probably a situation most of other guys in the school would kill to be in… My face heats up a little as I process the heartfelt, rather vulnerable scene we’re both in. HISAO: Uh...you’re welcome, Monika. Nothing to thank me for. I sheepishly scratch the back of my neck. HISAO: We should go and find the others, though. Don’t want them to worry or anything. We stand up and make our way back to the door. MONIKA: I hope so. It wasn’t exactly nice to be told you have a “perfect life” and that you’ve never experienced any difficulties… As we make our way back to the club, I just hope Sayori and Yuri were able to talk some sense into Natsuki. The last thing we need is another argument. (Silence) She’s silent as we wordlessly make our way back to the classroom. We finally arrive. I squeeze her shoulder as she takes a deep breath and walks in. 14. Festival... - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST scene  SAYORI: Ah! They’re back! Yuri and Sayori hurry over to us, looking worriedly at Monika. Meanwhile, Natsuki remains standing off to the side by herself, arms folded… MONIKA: Hey guys, I’m alright, really. Taking some time outside helped clear my head, and I’m feeling a lot better now. Not to mention, Hisao was a real help too. YURI: I’m relieved...it was a frightening prospect to consider losing our club president. SAYORI: Yeah, and now that everyone’s calmed down we can talk things out! Natsuki, why don’t you come join us? NATSUKI: Ugh, fine… She drags her feet as she makes her way over to us. I notice Monika fidgeting with the hem of her skirt, and smile reassuringly at her. NATSUKI: Okay, so I’m here. Natsuki’s eyes dart up to meet Monika’s for just a second. NATSUKI: So. Uhh… There’s an awkward silence as Natsuki’s voice trails away. Sayori raises her eyebrows at her, causing the smaller girl to return with a glare. SAYORI: I think what Natsuki means to say is that she just said all those things in the heat of the moment. YURI: A crime of passion, as it were. NATSUKI: Hey! Geez, I can speak for myself, okay? She says that, but… NATSUKI: Alright, I’m just gonna get this over with. What I wanted to say was that I didn’t mean it when I said that you were a bad president. I mean, I guess it’s pretty clear that you care a lot about the club. Sayori nods vigorously at her, egging her on. NATSUKI: It’s just that those jerks pissed me off so much that I blurted out random things and needed to vent. Well, I won’t lie; it does seem like you always get special treatment because you’re so popular, Monika. But then again, I wouldn’t know what you have to go through. You’re on a totally different level from the rest of us. MONIKA: Natsuki… NATSUKI: Anyway! That’s all I guess. I’ve always seen you as a friend...and uh, I hope that you’ll still be able to see me as one too. MONIKA: ... There’s tension in the air once again as we anxiously wait for Monika’s response. Natsuki shifts back and forth on her feet, looking like she almost wants to run away from the scene. MONIKA: Thank you for saying that. I’m not going to lie either; your comment doubting my presidency hurt. SAYORI: It’s definitely not true though! You’re a great president, Monika! HISAO: Yeah, you brought us all together; without you, we wouldn’t have become friends, and I wouldn’t have been introduced to the world of poetry. YURI: I agree. It’s an amazing feeling to be able to talk to like-minded individuals. NATSUKI: Yeah, as far as presidents go, we could definitely do worse. HISAO: And so what if you nudged us into the festival? I guess it’s only normal for the president of all people to want the club to grow.  MONIKA: Aha, thanks guys. I guess that after all that, I have no choice but to accept Natsuki’s apology, eh? mc I mean, it’d be really great if you could… YURI: That’s certainly an understatement. We all turn to look at Yuri, surprised at the glimpse of a humorous side to her. YURI: U-um, did I say something strange? SAYORI: Oh Yuri, you’re so funny! YURI: E-eh? (Silence) I let out a breath I’d been subconsciously holding. It seems like everything’s turned out well in the end, or at least as well as they can, given the circumstances. MONIKA: Okay, everyone! Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - My Feelings  And with that catchphrase, everything seems alright in the world once again. MONIKA: I totally forgot to mention this, but we still need to clean everything up. I’m sure that with all of us working together though, it won’t take that long to do! HISAO: I’m assuming everyone’s just going to skip the festival and go home after this? SAYORI: Mhmm, I’m pretty tired after all the stuff that just happened. YURI: As am I. NATSUKI: Same here. MONIKA: Ah, I wish I could leave too, but I have a shift in my class's cafe after this. It's alright though, everyone get moving then so you can all go home! Everyone starts cleaning up the room, myself included. Yuri and Natsuki start packing up the essential oils set-up and cupcake trays, respectively. Meanwhile, Sayori, Monika, and I pick up everything left on the ground and desks. It’s like we’re erasing all trace that the festival ever happened in here. Although… I can’t help but think that there’s still lingering tension in the air, despite Monika’s cheery expression. I have a feeling that Monika might just be putting the club before herself in this case… But the only thing I can do now is hope that everyone will feel better tomorrow. It’ll be pretty nice to get home from school early for a change and be able to relax, although now that I think about it I really only have anime and video games to look forward to. I guess that everything that’s happened today is going to be plaguing my mind tonight… 23. Our Next Chapter - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST 
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Apr 22, 2022 02:13
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I think even in that situation it's obvious Natsuki's projecting a lot, but it did seem like Monica was kind of overly pushing for something the members weren't really ready for. Monica's big compromise was "we can do something else..if someone else has an idea" but no one had any idea so by default she won out anyway despite their anxieties. iirc she didn't offer any secondary ideas herself. Though at the same time I wouldn't frame it the way Natsuki does; in-universe we really don't have THAT much to go off of, we've not even been in the club for a week, and the only other thing I remember Monica pushing was speaking the poems to each other. But that was mostly the conceit of doing it with the festival in mind, and having a group activity isnt a bad idea for a club regardless. Most of her behavior is just putting on a strong, energetic face and font of knowledge as the leader; obviously it has issues but in itself kinda hard to immediately leap to "is almost maliciously leaving aside the others for herself" without more context. Honestly in a real version of that situation I probably would be more noncomittal, which wouldn't help anything  or be more like yuri and just wanting to fold in on myself, iguess.
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Apr 22, 2022 02:55
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The primary reaction this seems to be eliciting from me now is "Oh god, teenagers". Which, I think, is probably a compliment to the writing, they're managing to do a decent job depicting the kind of awkward overdramatic social dynamics that seemed all-important at that age.
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Apr 22, 2022 03:12
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So before into praise something that's bugging me - Monika's popularity. Is she...actually popular? The characters say that and Natsuki even says that the literature club is just Monika trying to use the other people as pawns to make herself more popular, but...leading a tiny potemkin club instead of trying to take over a popular club doesn't really make sense for that. For either part. I can buy that she's more popular than the other 4 who seem to have no friends at all outside the club but that's still not much!Explopyro posted:The primary reaction this seems to be eliciting from me now is "Oh god, teenagers". Which, I think, is probably a compliment to the writing, they're managing to do a decent job depicting the kind of awkward overdramatic social dynamics that seemed all-important at that age. Yeah I liked it. This was mortifying and painful to read but without invoking anything that would be an unlikely thing to happen with teenagers. I think "the culture festival was a total disaster" is both an unusual choice and a good one for driving drama! It also kind of highlights some of the cracks in the characters' mental health - Yuri being objectified in an uncomfortable way, Natsuki having anger issues, Monika's insecurity. I did have a kind of awful feeling of like "don't they have to do more rounds of it? culture festivals are like all-day affairs aren't they?" and man that would have sucked Yuri being objectified in that way...that shows a kind of insight that I wasn't really expecting from this. That's a very awful thing for a teenage girl to experience, and it's one that a lot of teenage girls experience. I'm now a little primed for Yuri's route to go some places that I don't see most media ever go.
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Apr 22, 2022 03:37
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Monika’s archetype suggests that she would be popular in general, which is backed by it being part of the text. By nature of this being a mod Monika is the most changed of the characters by necessity so it’s hard to be definitive about her deal, but my best guess is that she retains a need for control and to present herself in a certain way. It’s a potential explanation of why she pushes her ideas onto the others and why she prefers running a club for something she enjoys rather than being a smaller part of a bigger club. It’s also a reason why she reacts so negatively to the event going wrong and then to natsukis criticism.
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Apr 22, 2022 21:50
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Yeahhh, I feel like getting a bunch of teenagers struggling with mental health issues to put on a big public poetry performance and share their personal and emotionally vulnerable work with an audience (other teenagers) that tends to consider poetry stupid and mock-worthy was never going to end well. Though I wouldn't fault Monika here, necessarily; Natsuki may have some evidence for her accusations that we don't, but the festival thing read more over-enthusiastic and over-optimistic than self-aggrandizing to me. I have to admit that getting through the earlier updates was kind of a slog for me, but I feel like the writing is starting to hit its stride - hopefully that keeps up. This is about the point where it completely diverges from the original, right?
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Apr 23, 2022 00:27
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Ghost Car posted:Yeahhh, I feel like getting a bunch of teenagers struggling with mental health issues to put on a big public poetry performance and share their personal and emotionally vulnerable work with an audience (other teenagers) that tends to consider poetry stupid and mock-worthy was never going to end well. Though I wouldn't fault Monika here, necessarily; Natsuki may have some evidence for her accusations that we don't, but the festival thing read more over-enthusiastic and over-optimistic than self-aggrandizing to me. The original never got to the festival at all, even in the other loops. Things went "off the rails" and just found new rails to go off of. Everything after arriving at school after the hang out with Sayori is effectively all new.
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Apr 23, 2022 01:21
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rannum posted:The original never got to the festival at all, even in the other loops. Things went "off the rails" and just found new rails to go off of. Everything after arriving at school after the hang out with Sayori is effectively all new. Sorry, that was unclear wording on my part - I meant "at this point it has diverged" as opposed to "it's about to diverge." Basically, I think the writing picked up once the mod struck out into its own territory instead of having to follow the tracks of the original.
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Apr 23, 2022 01:43
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I'm a bit behind and haven't read the latest update yet, but:Falconier111 posted:You can give me permission just to use those specific posts in the OP or give it for any of your posts going forward; in the latter case, say specifically that Sure, you have my permission to link to my posts in the thread in the OP going forward, unless I say otherwise. Edit: Oh hey, a new character sprite, and- Falconier111 posted:
OH NO A DEMON  her head's bigger than her torso... Antistar01 fucked around with this message at 03:31 on Apr 23, 2022 |
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Apr 23, 2022 02:46
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Antistar01 posted:her head's bigger than her torso... It's not her fault that the artist enabled DK mode before they uploaded the drawings.
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Apr 23, 2022 05:40
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Antistar01 posted:her head's bigger than her torso... It's the hair.
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Apr 23, 2022 11:11
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Quackles posted:It's the hair. It's me accidentally making her portrait a third larger than the others
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Apr 26, 2022 01:32
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Update 14: We'll be here for a while if I try to understand what goes on in Sayori's head.  Monika is watching you. (Silence, Piercing Alarm Sound)  ...Morning already? I groan as I fumble for the alarm clock. Man, I just feel like sinking into the depths of my bed. Is it natural to feel this tired after waking up? What's the time, anyway? 10:30 A.M. ... Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Poem Panic! Holy crap! I've already pretty much missed the first two classes! Should I even go to school today, or just cut my losses and skip? ... ... A fierce battle rages within my mind as I lay there. But after a beat, I leap out of bed and begin throwing on my uniform. I don't even want to go to school, but I strangely feel compelled to stick to my everyday routine. Guess Mom really trained me well… No time to eat breakfast today. To be honest, I'm usually too lazy to cook anything, anyway. It's 10:39 A.M. now. I'm making good time. ...Hang on. It's Saturday. (Silence) As that realization hits me, all the nervous tension drains out of my body, leaving me slouched over and exhausted. Now that I'm already out of bed, I might as well do something productive today. Although I'll have to get changed into my normal clothes first… At least there's no school to get through today, although unfortunately the Literature Club is still feeling the effects of the festival... Thankfully, the awkward atmosphere is only subtle, but even I, a newbie, can see that everyone's been treading on eggshells. I really do hope that things can eventually get back to normal, but at this rate...I could easily see everyone drifting apart. Monika hasn't spoken to me about things yet, either. I meant to talk to her about the festival argument the day after, but I just couldn't figure out a way to confront her about it. It's probably just me being too reluctant to bring things up, but I never really found the right time to talk… ...I should get out of the house for once and stop thinking about these things. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Daijoubu! It'll be a nice change of pace from staying on my computer all day. Gotta get rid of that pasty, pale complexion, haha...ha… At least the weather isn't bad today - it's a regular sunny day, not too hot and not too cold. It's just me, my bag, and… Come to think of it, I don't even know where I'm headed to. Maybe I'll just text Sayori to see how she's doing, although she's probably not awake yet anyway. I haven't hung out with her in a while, and it might prove to be a nice surprise for her. 24. Skip - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST Actually, the more I think about it, the more appealing the idea sounds. I imagine the festival fiasco probably upset her, given how much she cares for the club and the other girls. Can't hurt to see if she's okay and take her mind off it. Besides, I can't imagine she really has much going on, either. I dig out my phone and shoot her a message. scene  Chat Screen posted:Hisao: hey Sayori, what's up? ... No reply. I check the time. Knowing Sayori, she's probably still sleeping. I suppose anything before noon is considered early for her. Then again, I'm not much better. The only reason I'm up so early on a Saturday is because I thought it was a school day. I chuckle to myself. My parents would definitely be surprised if they learned I was up before midday on a Saturday. Dad used to joke around and call me nocturnal, like I was a vampire. Thinking about it, given my sleep cycles, he wasn't wrong. Shame I don't have the ability to turn into a bat, though. Or super speed… Well, at least the weather's nice. It's early October now, which is the best of both worlds. As in, it's not quite as hot as it was in the summer, and the real bite of winter hasn't kicked in yet. It's fairly warm, with fluffy white clouds accompanying the blue skies. Perching down on a bench, I aimlessly flick through my phone while I await Sayori's reply. (Jingle) Finally, my phone goes off.  Chat Window posted:Sayori: hi Hisao! Sorry about the delay, I just woke up lol Called it. Chat Window posted:Hisao: haha don't worry about it just wondered if you wanted to go to the park or something? It's a nice day after all As I slip my phone back into my pocket, I start to aimlessly plan what we'll get up to. There's a park near our house. When we were children, it was almost like a second home to us. So much time spent exploring. We used to get tons of ice cream at the playground, after working the puppy-dog eyes on our parents. In fact, I think it was at that very park that I first met Sayori. Something about ice cream? I'm not even surprised we met, and initially bonded, over food. Good times. (Jingle) Another notification. Chat Window posted:Sayori: okayy i'm good, coming out now!  With Sayori in tow, we make our way over. Already, I'm reminded of the time we spent together last Sunday. I'm hoping today is just as enjoyable. Although last time, she got to learn a little more about me. I didn't get to learn much about her. Well, in the time we've been apart. I've got no idea about how she's finding school, what her interests are, her plans for the future, all that stuff. SAYORI: Soo...I know you said it's meant to be a surprise, but can I get a teeny tiny hint? HISAO: Hmm...should I? SAYORI: Pleaaaseeee? After all, it is super early! I check my watch. It's half past 11… HISAO: Sayori, it's almost noon! SAYORI: Yeah, super early! I mean, she's not wrong… HISAO: Haha, I suppose you've got a point. Alright. I lean in conspiratorially. HISAO: This is super top secret stuff. SAYORI: Understood, agent! HISAO: If I gave you the codename 'Childhood', where would you think? She scrunches up her face, fiddling with a strand of hair in her hands. SAYORI: Uh… s Oooh, I know! Is she going to get it on her first try? I'll be mighty impressed. SAYORI: You're not taking me back to elementary school, are you? Well, that hope got shot down. I can't help but sigh. SAYORI: No? Worth a try, ehehe… HISAO: I'll give you another hint. Do you remember where we first met? SAYORI: It wasn't elementary school, was it? HISAO: If you say that one more time… SAYORI: Ehehe, kidding, kidding! You're kinda fun to wind up sometimes, you know… Makes a change from you always being a meanie to me! HISAO: Ahaha, you love it really. It's the only way I can get you back from all those tricks you used to play on me, you know? SAYORI: Tricks? I don't know what you're talking about~ That innocent, childlike grin is back on her face. Already, I'm glad I decided to text her instead of going back to sleep. HISAO: What about the time you told my Mom that I threw that tennis ball at you so she'd make me give you my candy? Oooooor that time we climbed that tree and got stuck? I told you it'd be too high, but you didn't listen… My dad had to get us down… I grin. HISAO: Although that climb was pretty fun. The view was incredible! SAYORI: Seeeeee? It wasn't all bad! HISAO: Aha, I know. It was all good natured. We used to get up to so much mischief… SAYORI: We sure did, ehe… Anyway, I think I know where we're going! Paku Park, right? HISAO: Ah, so there is something in that head of yours after all then, huh? SAYORI: Hey! 25. Cinnamon - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST HISAO: And so here we are.  SAYORI: Aww, I love this place! s Haven't been here in so long! HISAO: Yeah, me neither. We take a seat on a wooden bench, which affords us a lovely view of the park around us. Children are playing all sorts of ball games as their parents chat amicably. Dogs are running around as their owners laugh and chase them. I smile. Here with Sayori, I truly feel like I'm at home. HISAO: Figured it'd do the both of us good to take a trip down memory lane, eh? Especially after that fiasco of the festival and everything… SAYORI: Ah...yeah. From the change of her tone and expression, the festival still looks like it's bothering her. I can't blame her. All of the club members are feeling it. HISAO: I was hoping by now things would… SAYORI: Go back to how they used to? HISAO: Yeah, that. I mean, yeah, the festival was a bit of a failure, but the club is still a nice little place for us five, right? Sayori looks ahead, idly poking at a twig with her feet. SAYORI: Yeah, it is. I just… I just really wish people weren't so mean. We all practiced super hard, too! All that...for nothing. HISAO: Hey, c'mon Sayori! It's not like you to be so depressing. We shouldn't dwell too much on that, anyway. What's done is done, right? Besides, I want today to be a good day. She blinks as a slightly shameful look crosses her features. SAYORI: Ah...yeah, you're right, Hisao, sorry. HISAO: Nah, don't apologize. After all, it was me who brought it up, so I can't really talk, aha. Anyway, I brought you here because I know this place means a lot to you. I was worried you might be upset, so I was hoping this could cheer you up. SAYORI: Aww, Hisao! You didn't have to do that… HISAO: Well, that, but most importantly I just needed an excuse to get out of the house… She pokes me in the ribs as I laugh. HISAO: And besides, spending time with you on Sunday made me realize that we have a lot to catch up on. So...where do I begin? She giggles. I guess both of us don't know where to start. It's almost like we've just met and don't know what to say to each other. In a strange way, I guess that is the case to some extent. HISAO: I guess I'll start. You know, I've always been curious as to why you joined the Literature Club. I didn't really think poetry was your thing. She leans forward, resting her chin on her knees. SAYORI: Well, Monika and I are actually in the same class! She's the one who told me about it. In a way, I guess I was kinda like you. HISAO: Like me? SAYORI: Yeah. As in, I didn't really think much of poetry. It's not that I didn't like it, I just didn't think too much about it! s But as I joined, and Monika told me more and more about literature… About how poetry can be a really nice way to express yourself… I loved it! Anyone can write poetry, and that's what I really like! It doesn't matter who you are, what your interests are, or how good you are… There's something for everyone. Interesting. Yuri, Monika and Sayori all appreciate poetry for different reasons. I get the sense that Yuri likes poetry as it gives her an opportunity to express deep, complex stuff. Monika seems to be on a similar wavelength to Yuri, but I think she prefers abstract stuff more. Then again, I guess Yuri also uses a lot of abstract themes in her poems? Who knows. I'm still an amateur, hah. Sayori notices my chuckle. SAYORI: What's up? HISAO: Ah, nothing. I was just thinking about how everyone in the club seems to appreciate different things in poetry. Hm...what else, what else… Sayori has a faraway look in her eyes as she asks the next question. SAYORI: I remember...we used to think alike in so many ways. Like...when we used to look at clouds. We'd see a lot of similar things in the sky. So I wonder… Do we still do that? I grin. I had totally forgotten how much we used to enjoy cloud watching, back in the day. Every time I remember something more from our childhoods, it brings a smile to my face. Cloud watching perfectly captured that innocent, carefree essence of nostalgia. HISAO: Ahh...I had totally forgotten about that, aha. mc We really let our imaginations run wild, didn't we? And the best thing is, it worked. SAYORI: Yeah, clouds are so cool like that! What about that one?  She takes my outstretched finger in her hands and points it at a specific spot. HISAO: Aha! Yeah, I can see that one now. This one looks like a fish. SAYORI: Aww! It's so small! Look at that one! It kinda looks like a little frog! Ehehe...this is what I love about clouds. They're so… What's the word? HISAO: Cloudy? Ow. You really like poking me in the ribs, don't you? SAYORI: I was trying to think of the right word! Uhm...I think I heard Yuri say it once… Versatile? I think that means that something is… ... Uwaa… I forgot! Well, it sounds like it fits. HISAO: Yeah, I'd say that's about right. Pretty cool how different people see different things when looking at the exact same one. SAYORI: I wonder what the other girls would see… HISAO: Fluffy kittens for Natsuki, and something spooky with Yuri. SAYORI: You've really know them well, huh?~ What do you think Monika would see? HISAO: Uh… mc A piano? I mean, you can interpret a cloud however you want, right? I'm just thinking of stuff that reminds me of her, haha. SAYORI: Well I'm happy that we still cloud-gaze the same way! HISAO: Yeah, that makes two of us. I was kinda worried that maybe we'd...I dunno, drifted too far apart. mc So much so that we'd be totally different people. But that doesn't look to be the case. SAYORI: Yeah. By the way, Hisao, I've been meaning to ask you... How are you doing in school? HISAO: Geez Sayori, that's...a kinda boring question, don't you think? SAYORI: Don't try and worm out of this one, mister! I still worry about you, you know? I just want to know if you're doing fine, that's all… HISAO: Haha, there's nothing to worry about. I'm doing just fine. You sound a bit like Mom. SAYORI: I can't tell if that's a compliment or an insult… HISAO: A mystery we'll take to our graves, eh? Her subsequent pout makes me chuckle. HISAO: If I got you a popsicle, would that make you less pouty with me? SAYORI: Hmmph. You think you can change my mood with food, huh? ...Depends on the flavor. Mental note to self. If Sayori is ever actually annoyed with me, just get her something sweet. Who knows when that information will come in handy later?  The more I think about it, perhaps I was wrong to worry we'd have changed too much. After all, I'm pretty much still the same person. Six or so years isn't that much time, I guess? One thing that hasn't changed is how much she loves to explore, and how much her imagination accommodates that. Forests weren't just forests; they were part of a magical land, inhabited by an array of mythical creatures. Beaches weren't just sand and sea; they were a tropical paradise, home to countless happy childhood memories. Searching for crabs, aimlessly splashing in the sea, checking out hidden coves… Sayori could even transform our homes into something they weren't. We used to jump from sofa to sofa, chair to chair, pretending that the floor was lava. That game never got old. And I'm pretty sure every kid on the planet has played it, too.  HISAO: You know something, Sayori? SAYORI: Hmmm? She's slightly ahead of me, ducking under a tree branch. We're now in the forest part of the park. HISAO: I've had a sudden realization as to why your poems are so good. SAYORI: Aha...ehe, they're not that good… HISAO: No, seriously. Your imagination has always been super strong. All those games we used to play as children… You were always part of your own little world. And it shows in your poems. SAYORI: I'm glad you picked up on it! Writing poems is half the fun - the other half is showing them to people! Especially when they like what you've written! HISAO: What's your thought process while you write your poems? Like...how do you write them? SAYORI: Hmm...I just go with my heart! I guess it's kinda tricky to explain? I think it just depends on my mood! Like...when I wrote 'Dear Sunshine', I was in a pretty good mood. HISAO: More like you were just hungry, given you wrote it while you were eating breakfast… SAYORI: I was in a good mood because I was eating breakfast! Anyway, so with 'Bottles'... Well, I guess I was thinking about how much I want people to be happy. So, that's the answer to your question! It just depends on my mood and what I happen to be thinking about. I wonder how the others do it… HISAO: Yeah, me too, actually. Would be kinda interesting to see how you all approach poetry. Although I think I wouldn't be able to understand how someone like Yuri does it. Her poetry still goes over my head, haha. SAYORI: Good to know I'm not the only one! HISAO: Although...what about your 'Fairy Tale' poem? What was your thought process behind that one? SAYORI: Oh...that one. There's an immediate shift in atmosphere. SAYORI: There wasn't really one. I just felt like writing it, I guess. HISAO: But you said you write your poems based on what you're thinking of, or feeling, at the time, right? SAYORI: What about you, Hisao? How do you write yours? I should've known she would still be a little cagey about that one. Thinking back to her behavior on that Friday, I guess it's to be expected. Just what is it about that poem, and her behavior, that bothers me so much? Is it because it shows a side to Sayori that's totally new to me, one that I'm not used to? Or because I know there's still something she isn't telling me? SAYORI: Hisao? HISAO: Huh? Oh. Sorry. I was spacing out a little bit… Uhm...well, I guess I'm similar to you, I suppose? I just pick a bunch of words that best describe what I'm thinking about, and then write a poem based on those. To be honest, I'm not really experienced enough to give you a proper answer. I kind of make it up on the spot, haha. But it's worked so far, so I'm not complaining. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - My Feelings Sayori pauses, looking around at the copse surrounding us. She walks up to a large tree and plants herself down in front of it. I follow suit, resting my back against the sturdy trunk, admiring the soft rays as they penetrate the branches.  SAYORI: What you said reminds me of something Monika once told me. Something about if you don't have confidence, just fake it until people believe you do. She turns to face me, a thoughtful expression on her face. SAYORI: Sometimes I wonder if she really is confident, or it's all just a show. I get the feeling that sometimes, you can never tell with people. I blink. That was remarkably...insightful, for Sayori. A more reflective mood seems to have fallen upon her. HISAO: No idea, to be honest. She seems pretty genuine. I mean, she was like this when I first met her as well, so that would be an awful long time to wear that mask. I wouldn't have expected that sorta question from you, though. Why'd you ask? She smiles mischievously. SAYORI: Sometimes it's nice to surprise people, ehehe. HISAO: What d'ya mean? SAYORI: Well… Let me ask you, Hisao. If you had to describe me in a few words, which words would you choose? HISAO: Uhm… Bubbly? And...hm. Light-hearted? And...adventurous. I've always seen you as quite kind. You know, given how you're always concerned with how happy other people are. I guess your most definitive trait is your happiness. Like...you always seem so cheerful, at ease with the world. I kinda wish I could be like that, sometimes. Although from what I've sort of picked up on, just like everyone else, you still feel down from time to time. Right?  She looks on ahead, a faraway look on her face. It's not exactly sad, but there's a certain air of...what? Wonder? Nostalgia? SAYORI: See, that's what I mean. Everyone picks up on those things you mentioned, but they'd find me asking this question a bit… Unlike me, if you get what I'm saying? I guess it's because of how I act in the Literature Club. Aside from with my poetry, I never really talk about deeper things, or things that aren't just aimlessly happy. I guess I just don't want to bother people with that sort of stuff. HISAO: Bother them? Why would it bother them, Sayori? SAYORI: Ah...well, maybe that isn't the right word. Sorry, ehe...I've never really been that good at expressing myself in person. It's much easier to do it in a poem… HISAO: It's okay. I've never really been good at it either, haha. SAYORI: A lot of the time I like to think about the past, and how things used to be. I told Natsuki about this. She giggles softly. SAYORI: And Natsuki thinks I live in the past. But I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Do you? HISAO: Nah - if you're happy, what's the issue? It's only natural that you'd want to think about the good times that brought a smile to your face, right? When we first started talking again, I used to look back on all our shared memories from all those years ago. From when we first met and bonded over ice cream, to me winning Mr. Cow for you, to helping you with homework… I remember our parents used to say we were pretty much inseparable. SAYORI: Mmm. Everyone has their happy thoughts which keep them going, right? HISAO: Stored away in bottles, eh? SAYORI: Of course!~ She sighs contentedly. SAYORI: Sorry, I didn't mean to bore you or anything… HISAO: Bore me? Really Sayori, you're sounding a bit like Yuri. I haven't seen this side of you before, and I really like it. As much as I enjoy our playful banter, this made for a really nice change of pace. Besides, I always like talking to you. SAYORI: Thank you, Hisao. I worry about...well- HISAO: Sayori, people are always going to enjoy being your friend, even if you're not super chipper all the time. It's okay, seriously. Just be yourself, don't hide anything. I'll be here, don't you worry. I reach over and squeeze her hand, smiling reassuringly. SAYORI: ... Sayori noticeably fidgets, looking rather uneasy about something. (Silence) HISAO: What's wrong? SAYORI: Actually, there is something I could tell you… I don't know if it's a good idea, though… My heart starts to race as a million questions start whizzing around my head. Is this about Fairy Tale? Her behavior on Friday? Some other secret that's coming right out of the blue? Or perhaps...something else entirely? HISAO: ...Sayori? SAYORI: The truth is, I- (Ringtone Sound) If disappointment ever had a sound, it would sound like a ringing phone. With a groan, I fumble into my pocket, glaring at the offending object, as if it knows it's responsible for ruining such a moment. It's my mother. I haven't spoken to her in a long time; in fact, the last time we spoke was before I joined the Literature Club. HISAO: I'm really sorry Sayori, I'm going to have to take this. A strange smile is on her face. She shakes her head. SAYORI: No no, it's fine. Don't worry about it. play music family_bonds  HISAO: Hi, Mom. Haven't spoken to you in a while, hope you've been good!  MOM: Hisao! Sorry it's been so long! Work has been so hectic over the past few weeks. HISAO: And there I was thinking you'd forgotten about me. MOM: Don't be silly! I always worry about you. HISAO: I know, Mom. It was just a joke. MOM: Ah, you and your sarcasm… You must've got that from your father. How have you been, anyway? Are you eating well? Exercizing daily? Drinking lots of wa- HISAO: Woah woah, slow down. I've been doing juuuuust fine. I've actually joined a club. MOM: Oh wow, that's wonderful! What kind of club is it? HISAO: Literature, funnily enough. Poems and stuff. Sayori told me about it, as she's the vice-president. MOM: I hope you stick with it! HISAO: Yeah, I don't think the girls would forgive me if I left, haha. MOM: Girls, you said? Uh oh. HISAO: Aaaaaaaanyway, now's not really a great time as I'm just chilling with Sayori. You know, at that park you used to always take us to. MOM: Oh, you're with Sayori? How's she doing? HISAO: We're having a catch up session, actually. She's not changed too much. Anyway, can I call you back later? Kinda cutting her off right now. MOM: Of course, of course! I have the evening off, so we can talk then, okay? HISAO: Sure thing. mom Before I go...you are remembering to eat, right? I roll my eyes, before realizing she can't see that. HISAO: Yes, Mom, of course I'm remembering to eat. What am I, going on a fast or something? Or d'ya think I'm five? I can see Sayori giggling out of the corner of my eye. HISAO: If I were you, I'd be more concerned about Sayori. Lazy girl can't even get out of bed. I grin as I see her laugh turn into a childish frown. MOM: Oh, stop teasing her, Hisao. You're so mean to her sometimes… HISAO: Geez, you sound like her. Anyway, gotta go. Talk to you later, okay? Love you. MOM: Love you too, bye! (Silence, Hangup Sound) HISAO: Sorry about that. Had no idea she'd call. SAYORI: Ehe, it's okay. You haven't spoken to her in a while, so it was nice to hear you two talking again. HISAO: Mmm. Anyway, what were you saying? You wanted to tell me something? Sayori isn't sitting down by the tree anymore. She's standing up, and looks ready to go.  SAYORI: Oh, don't worry about that~ It was nothing important. HISAO: You sure? It seemed kinda serious. 25. Cinnamon - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST SAYORI: It's okay. I'm kinda hungry, anyway. Can we stop by a cafe on the way home? HISAO: You literally just had a popsicle! SAYORI: Well...you know what they say! HISAO: And what would that be? SAYORI: Uhm...the fridge is a clear example that what matters is on the inside! I stare at her. HISAO: What does that even have to do with anything? SAYORI: It's about food? HISAO: You know what, let's just go and get whatever you want. We'll be here for a while if I try to understand what goes on in Sayori's head.  One tasty lunchtime meal later, Sayori's appetite is finally sated. It's getting to the late afternoon at this point. HISAO: Hey, Sayori. Not that I didn't enjoy today, but I think I'm gonna have to call it there. There's a mountain of homework I haven't even started that's due on Monday, and I don't think Sakurai is gonna be happy with me if it's late. SAYORI: Hmm? Her face still has traces of chocolate all over it. She hastily attempts to wipe it off. SAYORI: Oh, that's okay! I probably should do the same, ehehe… We've reached my house. HISAO: Okay, well I'll see you on Monday then. Have a good one. She waves cheerily. SAYORI: Bye, Hisao! Thanks again for today. HISAO: No worries. Sorry I ruined it with the phone call. SAYORI: You didn't - it's okay! What a fun evening this will be. END OF ACT 1 Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 17:43 on Apr 28, 2022 |
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Apr 26, 2022 01:33
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sounds fun! Just gimme a few minutes to get ready, okay? 
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Feels like we're slowly getting from what the game feels like it needs to say, to what it actually wants to say. I hope so, anyway. Also, Mom's portrait has this slightly trollish smirk to it, like she's hiding out in a nearby tree and totally knows she's interrupting something.
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Apr 27, 2022 01:58
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Looks like you've got a broken link towards the end of the update.quote:HISAO: You know what, let's just go and get whatever you want.
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Apr 27, 2022 03:20
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StandardVC10 posted:Feels like we're slowly getting from what the game feels like it needs to say, to what it actually wants to say. I hope so, anyway. I mean that's what I'm seeing. DDLC implies a lot about these characters and how their personalities fit together, and we're starting to see at this point pretty clearly how Sayori fits together. Where I'm expecting this to go is to dig into the practical and emotional depth of that. Speaking of, man Hisao is loving stepping in it here and making it harder for Sayori to be open.
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Apr 27, 2022 04:20
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Tulip posted:I mean that's what I'm seeing. DDLC implies a lot about these characters and how their personalities fit together, and we're starting to see at this point pretty clearly how Sayori fits together. Where I'm expecting this to go is to dig into the practical and emotional depth of that. Speaking of, man Hisao is loving stepping in it here and making it harder for Sayori to be open.  Hisao original flavor could be dense as a stone sometimes, but at least he was perceptive enough to pick up on other characters’ needs.
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Apr 27, 2022 16:59
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Falconier111 posted:
I disagree a bit here - one of the most insidious parts of depression is that while you desperately want and need help, you also desperately don't want to inconvenience anyone by actually asking for it. Sayori has put up barrier after barrier after barrier to deflect any concern. Even then he still picks up on it and tries to get her to talk more about how she's feeling, and probes deeper on the poem that she wrote. He doesn't know how deep the problem actually is because she doesn't want him to know how deep the problem is while at the same time hoping he can pick up on how deep the problem is, while at the same time hoping he doesn't pick up on it because why should anyone bother to waste their time with/on her? It's a fantastically lovely place to be in, where your perception of your self worth is largely negative (negative as in your presence is actively unwanted), regardless of how much reality is telling you otherwise. So then when you actually do spend time with other people, you almost feel like you have to "make up" for the perceived fact that your presence is a burden on them. Hell, I've been in a similar headspace before and have thought about how I wouldn't want to "inflict myself" upon someone else by talking to them. You're constantly fighting yourself for any scrap of self-worth that will let you make it through the day. As far as Sayori goes, just having her friend invite her out to spend time together, and to care enough to remember and reference a bunch of shared history together, almost certainly made her feel substantially better. It's not a cure, but just being there for someone with depression and showing them that their presence is welcomed is a huge help.
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Apr 27, 2022 20:34
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Dirk the Average posted:As far as Sayori goes, just having her friend invite her out to spend time together, and to care enough to remember and reference a bunch of shared history together, almost certainly made her feel substantially better. It's not a cure, but just being there for someone with depression and showing them that their presence is welcomed is a huge help. That's all fine. The issue that I'm taking, and I suspect Falconier is as well, is the content of the words he is choosing. The repeated references to how appreciated Sayori's cheerfulness is reinforces the social mask she uses to keep others at bay and reinforces what I read as a pretty clear distorted belief that people want her around as useful tool rather than as a complete person. That she is only desired and tolerated because she is cheerful, and that being sincere about feeling depressed would reduce her value in the eyes of those she's turning to for support. I personally have quite a few compliments that I no longer accept as straight compliments on similar grounds.
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Apr 27, 2022 22:49
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Tulip posted:That's all fine. The issue that I'm taking, and I suspect Falconier is as well, is the content of the words he is choosing. The repeated references to how appreciated Sayori's cheerfulness is reinforces the social mask she uses to keep others at bay and reinforces what I read as a pretty clear distorted belief that people want her around as useful tool rather than as a complete person. That she is only desired and tolerated because she is cheerful, and that being sincere about feeling depressed would reduce her value in the eyes of those she's turning to for support. Certainly, but my point is that he doesn't know about her depression. He does pick up on the fact that something is wrong, and also that she doesn't want to talk about it. quote:SAYORI: Well… Let me ask you, Hisao. If you had to describe me in a few words, which words would you choose? He tries to help (clumsily and incorrectly) by talking about one of the ways he appreciates her by complimenting her cheerfulness and how she minds how other people feel. It's a thing that he notices she puts effort into and he is trying to credit her for that. He's also trying to probe a bit further into what is bothering her. He only recently reconnected with her, and he doesn't have enough information to know if what is bothering her is a one-off issue or a pattern that's a bigger problem. I guess my point is that if she didn't have depression and if her behavior weren't a mask that she was wearing, then it wouldn't be a problem. It just so happens that he steps on a lot of social landmines in that conversation.
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Apr 27, 2022 23:29
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Dirk the Average posted:Certainly, but my point is that he doesn't know about her depression. He does pick up on the fact that something is wrong, and also that she doesn't want to talk about it. It’s less an issue of bad writing (it isn’t) and more that it’s unpleasant to read as he makes some very realistic and very familiar mistakes, I think. Very Greek tragedy on a smaller scale, and while it doesn’t decrease the quality of the work, that can be painful to watch.
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Apr 28, 2022 15:38
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Dirk the Average posted:Certainly, but my point is that he doesn't know about her depression. He does pick up on the fact that something is wrong, and also that she doesn't want to talk about it. Falconier111 posted:It’s less an issue of bad writing (it isn’t) and more that it’s unpleasant to read as he makes some very realistic and very familiar mistakes, I think. Very Greek tragedy on a smaller scale, and while it doesn’t decrease the quality of the work, that can be painful to watch. Yeah this is where I'm at. I think it's actually pretty good writing! I've been in Sayori's spot several times where people say they like something about me that feels false and it makes it both more depressing and more difficult to talk about. It's a very common, very human mistake that Hisao's making and I am rending my garments over it. Hisao is trying to show specific compliments, usually a good idea, but he's misreading that Sayori is fishing for compliments instead of feeling insecure and he should be assuring her that support is not contingent on performance. I actually am really liking a lot of the newly written scenes so far, they do a good job of conveying the pain and awkwardness of these very common daily tragedies without becoming mawkish or even melodramatic. It's not groundbreaking or anything but it is deft.
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Apr 28, 2022 15:50
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Tulip posted:Yeah this is where I'm at. I think it's actually pretty good writing! I've been in Sayori's spot several times where people say they like something about me that feels false and it makes it both more depressing and more difficult to talk about. It's a very common, very human mistake that Hisao's making and I am rending my garments over it. Hisao is trying to show specific compliments, usually a good idea, but he's misreading that Sayori is fishing for compliments instead of feeling insecure and he should be assuring her that support is not contingent on performance. I agree 100%. Hisao being clumsy and incorrect is intentional here. His heart is in the right place, but he misunderstands the situation.
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Apr 28, 2022 17:16
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Update 15: Act I - Context I came into Doki Doki Blue Skies after spending the better part of a year on Katawa Shoujo. In theory, they have a lot in common; they’re both English-language visual novels with several routes, each of which features a disabled romantic lead that subverts a character archetype. In practice? Well, it’s honestly too early for me to say. I had the benefit of nearly a decade of hindsight going into that game, but here I have a script (disjointed as it is), some background knowledge, and the magic of literary analysis at my side, and not much else. It doesn’t hurt that the first act is substantially shorter and simpler than in KS, giving me less to work with. I’ll be doing more conclusion-wise at the end of each route, but for now it’s worth cracking at what we have the see what we can extract from it. Update 14 posted:
Like, a while back I was playing another game, a sort of dating sim featuring, among others, a typically possessive and borderline violent yandere (I will never not be shocked they put a definition for yandere into Wiktionary). So far, so stereotypical. But as time went on, I realized she was spending her mornings sleeping in and evenings staring out into space, so I found myself mentally checking the “depression” checkbox and keeping an eye out on how that developed. Turns out? I was right. Over time, the game reveals her childhood so abusive and neglectful it stunted her growth (depression, while often inborn, often develops after trauma); the clinginess and possessiveness grew out of a desire to keep the only thing that ever made her feel alive. As time goes on and she adapts to a more stable and supportive environment, she starts actually addressing her trauma and opening up to the people around her, learning how to handle her emotions in the process; she develops a sense of empathy based on her own suffering that gradually turns her from the scary weirdo that threatens people she doesn’t like to the emotional core of the group (and that kind of hard-fought emotional intelligence is something I’ll go into at the end of Sayori’s route). Her symptoms never really go away, but that’s kind of how neurodiversity works: you don’t defeat your condition, you learn to live with and use it. But because her behavior doesn’t match the depression stereotype, when the game explicitly confirmed it near the end of her route I bet it blindsided a lot of players. Update 10 posted:
Update 3 posted:
Update 4 posted:
 .Update 10 posted:
Update 13 posted:She stays completely still as I sidle up to her side, leaning on the railing so that I can see her face. I don't know what I expected...but her expression is oddly calm.
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Apr 28, 2022 20:53
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I like Natsuki the most too, here & in the original game. There's just a certain rhythm to her writing that works for me, she's definitely a character where it'd be easy to just be so.....obnoxious to read...that it misses. I really liked her yelling match with Monica, for example. Excited to see what the mod does with her on her route. Though part of that might be because in the original game she also felt like the one you spend the least time with. Sayori is the firm focus of the first act because she's part of the big fake out, Yuri takes center stage after that as her issues are taken to extremes and obviously Monica was....Monica. Meanwhile Natsuki was stuck in the middle and the closest thing to a "normal" character and I felt bad for her when she was aware enough that something was wrong but couldn't do anything about it. It complimented her pretty well. Also, the mod making the MC more of a character is interesting too. There's definitely points where he just steps in it which can be pretty oof agh rhg and its hard to give a vibe on how much of that is him as a character or the writing in general; sometimes he just seems a little too geared towards one way for the sake of the scene than in others if that makes sense? Hard to describe But I do like a lot of his dialog and I was immediately interested in how they've been laying out what's going on in his life. Im prety sure everything outside of the Sayori hangouts is original to this game, at least, and his relationship with his family caught my eye. They could have kept him mostly a cipher and I'd never blink about it, but I'm curious where his story goes too. Curious where the "outer" story, the presumably shared experiences like the festival, goes too just because of Sayori. Like, obviously none of these routes are gonna "cure" the girls and the outer story will probably lead them to a place better than at the start to make sure everyone has a happier end if you dont go their route, but I feel like locking out Sayori's everything in the same way we accidentally did Yuri has a totally different feel just because the MC already knows her and has actively noticed things about her and also she's the one that got him into the club etc etc etc
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Apr 28, 2022 22:26
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Falconier111 posted:Especially Sayori. For a condition that hits hundreds of millions of people around the world, people have a very limited view of depression; it gets treated like “I am frequently sad disorder”, something that can be cured by showing love and discussing how much there is to live for. Leaving aside the ableism and the second part, it’s worth noting that despite the name depression doesn’t actually always make you sad. I’ve always thought of it like a pain disorder as much as a mood disorder – as different as they are on a biological level, their effects overlap so much doctors can treat them similarly. Think about it like this: how does being in pain affect your behavior? Sometimes, it can make you irritable; it’s a constant distraction that worsens your mood, making you prone to arguing, lashing out, taking risks, and (in rare cases) even getting violent. Sometimes, especially when there’s no end in sight, it makes you feel despair; you end up worn down, loathing your experiences and wishing something would save you from them. And sometimes, it makes you tired; even if it doesn’t hit your mood, you are constantly spending energy to keep it in check, and that leaves you unwilling to do anything that sounds taxing and sleeping too much (depression naps are very much a thing. Irritability, sadness, and exhaustion (along with various unidentifiable pains and loss of appetite) are the most common symptoms out there, showing up in any combination in ways you wouldn’t recognize his depression unless you knew what to look for. The way I act when I'm acting more depressed than usual (I've never had a formal diagnosis or anything so this could just be going through lulls of mood more than anything else) makes it almost feel like the part of my brain that determines priorities is broken. Here are some examples of issues I've run into and my response to them: My sink is half full of dishes so I can't do much in the way of real cooking but I can just get takeout/fast food instead. Oh I haven't shaved in a while, that's okay I'm not going anywhere where I care about who sees me. This game I like playing doesn't feel fun to play right now so instead I'll just watch videos on YouTube (instead of doing anything else that might be fun, or even thinking about why I wasn't having fun). I have work I need to do but I can't bring myself to do it so I'm gonna go lay down for an hour (that depression nap link was an interesting read). I haven't been feeling well mentally so I'm going to check in with my friends and see how they're doing (I realize this one sounds stupid but I've done it so many times). That last one in particular jumped out to me as the giant glowing sign for Sayori during my play through of the original game. Her Bottles poem showed that she cares more that the people around her are happy than how she's doing herself. I know the original game wasn't trying to be subtle or anything, but that poem was the big red flag that the rest of the signs come together for me. Her unease of wanting to talk about the Fairy Tale poem (which is new for this game unless there's a big easter egg I missed in the original) and instead focusing on MC's poetry is a very clear deflection, but how she did it is similar line of thought. "Lets not talk about me, lets talk about you." Maybe this is too much of a stretch, but I can see the logic in her choosing to flip the question around rather than derailing the conversation with some other subject or shutting down the line of discussion altogether. As an aside, one part I've never figured out about my mental funks (I'll just call it that to be safe) is what's the cause of when I "snap out of it" and start doing things I should be again again. Do I feel better because I washed the dishes and shaved? Or was I able to make myself do those things because I started feeling better. For the rest of the update, I am really sad Monika's route wasn't able to be finished. I've played 1 route of this mod so far and the details they set up for her made it seem like it was going to be an interesting one. I checked out a few of the extras included and I was digging the interactions between MC and Monika as well (though as mentioned they do feel a little rough drafty). Also if anyone hasn't checked out Komi yet they really should.
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Apr 30, 2022 00:23
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