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Well, some of ‘em at least. Wait, isn’t this the game with all the glitches and poo poo? No, that’s the original, Doki Doki Literature Club, which already has a nice LP. I hear some very good things about it. I wouldn’t know. I’ve never played it and I have no interest in it; I’m not a big fan of horror. Like anyone else too online in 2017, I absorbed a lot through pop-culture osmosis: I know the characters, I know the plot, I know the memes. I respect it as a piece of media, it just isn’t my thing. … Then why are you playing this? Doki Doki Blue Skies, according to its website, is “a psychological, choice-heavy take on the world of DDLC, Doki Doki Blue Skies aims to flesh out each character far beyond their stereotypes - giving them real personalities, a peek into what they're like in school, their hopes and dreams, and so much more. With new characters, art, music, poetry, and of course, writing, Blue Skies aims to truly reinvent the world of DDLC. Heavily inspired by Katawa Shoujo, this mod will take you on a rollercoaster of emotions with your Doki of choice - will blue skies remain, or will the storm take over?” Basically, it’s a full-conversion mod that switches the game’s genre from digital horror to psychological drama. Each female protagonist (except for Monika, they had to scrap her route) has her character and issues expanded into an actual storyline, with multiple endings, new writing, and (according to the devs, at least) a balanced treatment of mental illness. It tends to get a lot of praise for how accurate and respectful it is, but, well, people think they know more about this stuff than they actually do. I’m hopeful, though; just because I’m skeptical doesn’t mean I can’t be won over, and if this mod is as good as everyone says, it’ll sweep me along anyway. And what makes you so special? While I may do LPs in my spare time, I’m also a professional disability activist. I work with the diversity program of a major corporation, specifically the People With Disabilities workstream; I’m somewhere between a subject matter expert and community organizer in the neurodiversity effort. It’s my life’s work. You saw the Katawa Shoujo name in the last paragraph? That was the subject of my last LP, where we explored a game that started as a bunch of people on 4chan making a dating sim about disabled teenagers and turned out probably the best piece of disabled representation ever made. I went through that poo poo with a fine-toothed comb and while it had real issues (  ), it stands leaps and bounds ahead of just about everything published in the decade since. The DDBS devs cited the deep magic there, so let’s see if they can follow through.Okay, HOW are you playing it? This will be a pretty standard screenshot LP for the most part; expect in-game text as plaintext and my commentary as italics wrapped with  s to separate it out. Just keep in mind I use dictation software to write and and has more than a couple quirks, so if you see strange grammar or something that doesn’t read right, let me know and I’ll fix it. Ah, but there’s a twist! Four, in fact:
So, thread rules? Of course. Aside from general forum rules, I’ve got three:  No spoilers: not in text, not in spoiler tags, not even about endings we won’t see (we’ll talk about them when we wrap each route up). This does not go for spoilers of the original game! Those are open season. Spoiler tags are discouraged in general, actually, since they don’t register for screenreaders and don’t work right on all devices, so I’ll treat any tagged spoiler as an open spoiler and act accordingly. I won’t report your post if you say something that might vaguely be construed as giving something away, but please do keep it in line. Discussing stuff we’ve already seen on-screen and disability in general, though, is encouraged, and I’ll let everyone know at the end of each route that we can discuss content in that route I missed. For what it’s worth, the mod wants you to have played the main game first, and while I’m a rulebreaker, I’m sure all of you are good little goons who either already played the game or just don’t care. Don’t be a dick. Disability is a topic both rife with landmines and which desperately needs talking about. In general, just don’t make an rear end of yourself, but here are a few simple guidelines you might want to look over:
Do I think any of this will be necessary? Well, maybe. As far as I can tell goons are actually pretty good at this. But these discussions can and do suddenly spiral out of control, often as not due to some minor misunderstanding or miscommunication. I’d rather avoid that. Oh, and a word on language. I’m going to be talking about “disabled people” instead of, say, “people with disabilities”. The world is crawling with different ways to refer to disability, some better than others, and all of them have diehard supporters, but that’s what most disabled activists prefer and it’s what I’ll use. Just keep that in mind. Table of Contents Update 1: You want everything to be like how it should've been? Update 2: As she asks that, I realize I'm not much of a reader Update 3: Okay, everyone! Update 4: Although I was surprised to see her so dedicated Update 5: Exactly! It's fascinating when people can diverge from the creator's original intent to find their own meaning in a work of art Update 6: Everything is like an adventure to her Disability Corner: The Why-Don't-You Conversation Update 7: With another readthrough, you might find that there's actually a deeper meaning behind the words Update 8: I’m impressed, and judging by a quick glance around me, so is everyone else. Update 9: In actuality, it’s supposed to represent the last remnants of something lost to the past, and the sense of plaintive longing that comes with it Update 10: Deep down, I know that isn’t the reason. Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 01:55 on Apr 12, 2022 |
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Mar 11, 2022 21:05
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This thread also comes with PLENTY of supplementary materials. Interviews with Monster Girls is a lighthearted slice of life anime about teenagers who share traits with mythological creatures. It is also an exploration of the nature of life with disability from a sympathetic and understanding point of view masked as a lighthearted slice of life anime about teenagers who share traits with mythological creatures. In this recurring feature, I’ll take a look at this anime, dissect its themes and characters, and demonstrate what it has to say about living as one of us. The first nine links (through episode 5 part 1) are from the old thread; I plan on picking up where I left off. Episode 1: "Tetsuo Takahashi Wants an Interview" (Pt. 1) Episode 1: "Tetsuo Takahashi Wants an Interview" (Pt. 2) Episode 2: "Dullahan-chan Wants to be Coddled" (Pt. 1) Episode 2: "Dullahan-chan Wants to be Coddled" (Pt. 2) Episode 3: "Succubus-san is a Real Adult” (Pt. 1) Episode 3: "Succubus-san is a Real Adult” (Pt. 2) Episode 4: "Tetsuo Takahashi Wants to Protect" (Pt. 1) Episode 4: "Tetsuo Takahashi Wants to Protect" (Pt. 2) Episode 5: "Snow Woman-chan is Cold" (Pt. 1) THE COMMUNITY The disabled community is both large and scattered across different corners of society, and SA is no different. This section contains links to threads across the forum where goons discuss their experiences with disability, whatever form it takes. If there’s a disability-related thread you want to draw this thread’s attention to, go ahead and make a post about it here. We’re all in this together. PM me if you want a link to that thread included in the OP; if I get any requests, I’ll go ahead and make a new section for links there. I just ask you drop a post about this LP there as well. The NEW TGRS Disability Thread: If It's Not You Yet, It Probably Will Be The official Something Awful disability thread. Minority issues in video games. Yeah, you can probably guess what this one’s about. Mostly talks about race and gender, but ableism can and does come up. The wonders of epilepsy: a guide to involuntary unconscious break-dancing Doesn’t just cover what it’s like to have epilepsy; the OP, SerthVarnee, collects info on what media does or doesn’t provoke seizures and discusses what they’ve found in the thread. Ask me about : Being an adult with autism! Or just autism in general. An A/T thread with strong autistic representation; plenty of people know what they’re talking about here. The KS LP discord The discord server this thread spawned; come here to socialize and learn more about us and yourself. OUR STORIES Those of us who have disabilities are used to being talked over and ignored, even by those trying to help us. That sucks. I can’t hope to fix that on my own, but I can give a voice to goons with something valuable to say; I won't guarantee everything in this thread will show up here, but I do want to commemorate personal experiences that would otherwise be lost. That’s what this section is for. And yes, even if you think your story isn't interesting or somebody's already said everything you want to say, you ought to have your voice heard. Us thinking we don't have anything to contribute is kind of the problem  .Quick note for context: Neurodiverse or Neurodivergent/ND describes people whose minds work differently from what society considers normal (autism, ADHD, PTSD, bipolar, etc.) and Neurotypical/NT refers to people with “typical” thought processes as defined by society. It’s a big deal in disability activism.Second quick note: the KSLP discord sees posts worthy of inclusion in the thread; some of these posts will be crossposts from there. ACCESSIBILITY Ghost Car talks about what happens when someone sits at the center of dyslexia, subtitles, and anime elitism. Funktor makes a point about subtitles in other languages. GAME COMMENTARY: GENERAL Namtab lays out what Literature Club was parodying and how that might (or might not) play into the mod. PERCEPTION OF DISABILITY Antistar01 links a high-profile charitable stream where an autistic reporter and streamer talks about her life. SOCIAL INTERACTION JeffRaze describes what happens when people's assumptions of what people can and can't do collides with those of others. Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 21:17 on Apr 28, 2022 |
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Mar 11, 2022 21:06
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Update 1: You want everything to be like how it should've been? And so, we begin. Bear with me; I’m working with a very rickety understanding of the tech involved, so this might be a bit rocky starting out..jpg) The first time you open the game (with the mod installed), you get a grayed-out screen with all three major characters and a series of dialog boxes laying out the basics: this is a mod, it has nothing to do with DDLC’s original team, it has some spicy stuff you can turn off in the options, and it expects you to have already beaten the game. It actually makes you check something to agree you beat Doki Doki Literature Club first. You can’t even make it fullscreen until you do. I checked it anyway. Don’t tell anybody  .Anyway, after saying yes, the colors seep back into the screen and it launches the – hang on, let me get this fullscreen… 1. Main Theme - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST .jpg) Much better. It launches the main menu, complete with graphic and unique theme. Compare it to the original theme; right off the bat it’s less jazzy, a little bit slower, still cheerful but prone to slipping into a more meditative, even moody minor key. It sets the mood very nicely, which bodes well; the mod has an original score triple the size of Literature Club’s OST, and that’s not counting the old songs they moved in. Right now, the screen has options for us to look at galleries, view music tracks, and do all kinds of stuff. But all of it is empty. We’ll unlock it as we play. .jpg) When we start a new game, it asks us for our name. We, of course, put down “Hisao”, in honor of the classics. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - I Still Love You  ???: … …… ???: What's this…? This...shouldn't be possible...! Why am I here? How am I here?   MONIKA: ...Did you bring me back? I...don't see any other explanation... Why? We've already established that there's no happiness here, so why? MONIKA: ... MONIKA: H-huh? Why can't I look at the script? Something's wrong...you didn't do anything, did you? Don't you understand? Are you trying to mess things up even more?! How did you-- Wait, I know…you've installed a mod, haven't you? That's why everything's been changed! Don't you think it's time to let us all go...? What? You want everything to be like how it should've been? But... MONIKA: …You really care about them, don't you...? I wish... Nevermind. If you really want to do it...I won't stop you... I've been fighting to take control of this game again, but if you want to play through the mod, then... Well...I'll succumb to the mod's control. MONIKA: So... Do you want me to allow the mod's activation? (Silence)  >Yes. >No. We can say no here. Repeatedly. Monika will get gradually more frustrated and eventually lock the choice down, forcing us either to quit the game or just started already. But we’re not here to torture her. =>Yes. MONIKA: Aha...I knew it. Hisao, or whatever your name actually is...I truly hope that you can find happiness with your choice.  Sigh... I lay in bed, motionless and staring up at the blank, white ceiling. Last night was dreadful - the sound of thunder kept me up for hours. But today's another day, I guess. Let's just hope that it's at least a bit better. With another sigh, I begrudgingly drag myself out of bed and groggily begin the monotony of my daily routine.  Making my way to the kitchen, I haphazardly rummage through the cupboards, looking for something to eat . Unfortunately, there's no tasty homemade breakfast awaiting me; ever since my parents' divorce, I've just been living off of whatever I find in the kitchen. I live with my Mom, but she's always taking business trips abroad. So for the most part, it's pretty much just me at home. It's lonely, but I manage. ...Although I do miss the smell of bacon and eggs in the morning. Breakfast used to be a family thing... Dad would read the newspaper at the kitchen table, while Mom would stand at the stove and fry up her famous sunny-side up eggs. But all of that feels like a long forgotten memory. Well, at least breakfast is sorted - a CalorieM-te. Not exactly the best start to the day, but it'll do. I do my own shopping since Mom's never home, but I usually stick to buying the bare necessities. The ease of using pre-made stuff has pretty much sapped me of the urge to cook meals for myself. And with my food quickly finished, I head for the door.  At the very least, the weather looks much better than yesterday's. Clear skies beat thunderstorms any day of the week. 25. Cinnamon - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST I'm still lost in my thoughts when I notice a familiar face. It's Sayori. We have quite a history together - as children, we were basically inseparable. Always exploring, getting up to mischief, driving our parents wild. Typical things that young children do, really. As time went on - especially in recent years - we started slowly drifting apart. In fact, I haven’t properly spoken to her in a long time. It’s a real shame; after all, we've shared a lot of fond memories with each other. I’m surprised to see her up so early, though. A couple of times I've glanced out the classroom window only to see her hurriedly walking along to school. We used to walk to school together, and although she was sometimes a little late to meet me, I never really minded. As we continued to drift apart, however, her lack of punctuality became more frequent and I just decided it'd be better if I walked to school alone. Which meant that although I did get to school on time more often, it was quite lonely. Knowing her, she's probably just gotten more and more lazy with time. After all, her dedication to sleeping in seems to be unwavering. Ah well. Still, I’ve always enjoyed talking to her.  HISAO: "Hey, Sayori. I haven’t seen you in a while. How’ve you been?" The main character has no official sprite; this portrait is just an edited version of some concept art bundled into the special edition.  She looks a little surprised at my appearance and question. I suppose I can’t blame her.  SAYORI: "Oh hey, Hisao. I wasn't expecting to see you." HISAO: "That makes two of us. You're up early today, aha." She laughs softly, a misplaced looking frown on her face. SAYORI: "I’ve been alright, though. Not a whole lot has changed recently, you know?" HISAO: "Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. Life has been pretty routine these days. School’s kinda...meh, although I guess it could be worse." She nods as we both resume the walk to school. Although I can talk to her just fine, there’s still an awkward air between us. I guess that’s a given, seeing as this is our first proper conversation together in a long time. As we carry on making idle small talk, a sudden thought hits me. HISAO: "Anyway, this might come across as a bit...out of the blue, but seeing you here has given me an idea." SAYORI: "Oh?" HISAO: "Well, it’s been a while since we’ve walked to school together. How about we start doing that again?" SAYORI: "Ehhh...would you really want to do that? I’m not very fun to talk to, and I’m always late…" I frown. It’s really strange to hear Sayori say this, given I’ve always known her to have a bubbly, cheerful personality." HISAO: "Sayori, that's definitely not true." Well, the bit about always being late is true... HISAO: "I’ve always loved hanging out with you, and I think we’d have a lot of fun again."  HISAO: "Besides, I’ve missed you. I'll even help you wake up on time if you need me to." Was that a bit too forward? I don’t know. I’ve never been in this sort of situation before. I mean, we are childhood friends after all, right?  SAYORI: "Really?" HISAO: "Yeah, really." SAYORI: "I’ve missed you too, Hisao." HISAO: "Well, let’s do it then. From now on, we’ll walk to school together, okay?"  SAYORI: "Okay!" Ah, there it is. That classic Sayori smile I grew up loving. All the memories I have of us together as children feature that smile. No matter where we ventured - parks, playgrounds, forests - that smile would follow. That innocent, childlike sense of adventure we used to have...it's painfully clear that that’s long gone. But maybe we can still smile together anyway. SAYORI: "So, what've you been up to lately?" HISAO: "Ah, you know. The usual." SAYORI: "Hmm...you mean games, anime, and manga, right?" HISAO: "Yup, it pretty much goes without saying." SAYORI: "Oh Hisao, you haven't changed." mc "Heh, are you saying that you think I need some change?" SAYORI: "No one's perfect - there's always room for improvement!" SAYORI: "Especially in your case! I'm guessing that you're still a part of the Go Home Club?" HISAO: "Hey, that cuts a little deep. What do you want me to do, join the soccer club and trip over everyone?" SAYORI: "Well, I think a little exercise is good for anyone..." HISAO: "I'm very offended if you're trying to call me fat right now." SAYORI: "Ehehe, well you don't have to join a sports club if you don't want to." mc "Yeah, I was actually thinking of checking out the--" SAYORI: "Anime Club?" HISAO: "Wow, how'd you guess? It does suit my hobbies though, so..." SAYORI: "Hisao, you should try branching out a bit more." HISAO: "Okay Miss Club-Expert, if you're gonna criticize all my club choices, what would you suggest?"  SAYORI: "Weeeell, it just so happens that there's this club that I'm in..." HISAO: "Oh really…" SAYORI: "Yeah! I'm actually the Vice-President." Wow, I did not expect that. HISAO: "Dang, so you get to take part in all the executive decisions, huh?" SAYORI: "Aha, kind of. The club kinda only has four members at the moment… but it's really fun! We're actually looking for new members right now! Ah, so that's why she brought it up. HISAO: "Only four members? Sound like you guys are just starting out then. What club is it, anyway?"  SAYORI: "It's the school's very own Literature Club!" I unintentionally let out a sigh.  Her face drops… I don't think that was quite the reaction she was hoping for. In my defense, literature has never quite captured my interest…unless you count manga as literature, that is." SAYORI: "I knew it – you don't want to join. I understand though, not many people like reading." HISAO: "Hey, who said I didn't like to read? I love reading, if you count uh...manga…" I mutter the last word more to myself than to Sayori. On the plus side, Sayori laughs at my sheepishness. SAYORI: "Ehehe, you sound like someone I know from the Literature Club. She talks about manga all the time." HISAO: "Oh really? I am actually interested in your club, though." Sayori smiles, seemingly content that I'm showing initiative. If I'm looking for a club to join, I guess the Literature Club is as good a place as any to start." SAYORI: "That's great! You should come by sometime." HISAO: "And by 'sometime,' you're hoping for today, aren't you?" SAYORI: "Ehe, the sooner, the better." HISAO: "Alright, I'll have a look after school today." SAYORI: "Yay! Thanks, Hisao!" HISAO: "Although we should probably hurry up. Don't wanna be late now, do we?" SAYORI: "Yeah, you're right..."  Within a few minutes, we've arrived at the school entrance amidst a crowd of chattering students.  We wave goodbye as we head off to our separate classes. And I think we’ll call it here for the day. If you played the original, you may have already noticed the opening dialogue is a lot different. For context, this is what the protagonists says after leaving his house: Doki Doki Literature Club! posted:I see an annoying girl running toward me from the distance, waving her arms in the air like she's totally oblivious to any attention she might draw to herself. That girl is Sayori, my neighbor and good friend since we were children. You know, the kind of friend you'd never see yourself making today, but it just kind of works out because you've known each other for so long? That’s a pretty dramatic gap, isn’t it? The whole game has been completely rewritten to match the game’s new dramatic thrust; I wasn’t kidding when I called it a full conversion mod. Feel free to discuss where Blue Skies and the base game diverge in the thread; I’m no expert so I can’t comment, but I’m very much open to working the thread’s commentary into regular posts.Expect longer and more frequent posts in the future; I’m still getting my feet under me with translating Ren’Py files into formatted LP updates.
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Mar 11, 2022 21:07
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Update 2: As she asks that, I realize I'm not much of a reader Follow us on Twitter! @blueskiesmod Doki Doki Literature Club famously opens with a disclaimer on a splash screen telling you not to play this apparently light and fluffy dating Sim if you are young or easily disturbed. Blue Skies subs in various warnings, bits of trivia, and offhand remarks; I’ll be featuring them as they come up. (Silence) I have Sakurai in the morning, so I'm fairly confident that the next hour or so won't be too bad. 8. Student at Heart - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST Who's Sakurai, you might ask? Only one of the coolest, most down to earth teachers we have in the whole school. Being on the young side himself, the experience of high school is much fresher in his mind than in some of the other teachers, especially the older ones. He gives me a smile as I open the door.   SAKURAI: "Morning, Hisao. How are we doing today?" HISAO: "Not bad, sir. Same old, same old. How about you?" SAKURAI: "Well, we're finally starting our module on twentieth century history today, so needless to say I'm excited. HISAO: "Oh yeah? First World War, Nazism, Second World War, that stuff?" SAKURAI: "You bet. I've waited all year for this to start. Oh man, you guys are in for a real treat!" That's something else I really admire about him. He's so enthuastic about his subject, and that enthusiasm really makes learning about history that much more enjoyable. Combined with the fact that he's fairly relaxed - especially when it comes to homework - you can really see why he's popular. Although he does have a strict side, of course. That side of him comes to light every now and again, so he isn't a pushover. By and large, he's earned the respect of his students by striking the balance just right. I just wish that all of my teachers were as friendly and made efforts to know their students better... Ah well. I take a seat and one of my classmates - Emi - smiles and waves. Bouncy and energetic, she has a reputation for her skills on the track field. Even when she isn't running, she's still pretty much a ball of energy.   EMI: "Heya!" We have one of those odd friendships where we get along well in class but don't really see each other outside of school. HISAO: "How're you doing, Emi?" EMI: "Training was really fun today, Hisao!" HISAO: "Oh?" She's always on the hunt for new recruits to join the track team and she has a habit of dropping some...not so subtle hints. EMI: "Yeah! We're always looking for new people, and I know you aren't part of any clubs, so you should totally join us!" HISAO: "It's funny you mention that I'm not part of any clubs, actually." EMI: "Hmm?" HISAO: "I think I'm gonna check out the Literature Club after school." EMI: "Ahaha, I didn't really think you were the poetic type! But if you ever get bored of writing poems, you know where to find me!" HISAO: "How many times do I have to tell you that-" SAKURAI: "Alright, guys - let's make a start! It's almost criminal that I've had to wait so long to teach my favorite century..." Yes, that is Emi. No, she doesn’t play a huge role in the game. This isn’t quite a cameo; Emi will be showing up from time to time and have some minor plot relevance going forward. But she’s mostly here to say “this entire mod is an extended homage to Katawa Shoujo!” Well, that's the school's lessons over... As I linger behind in the classroom to gather up all my things, I hear the door open. It's Sayori. SAYORI: "Hi again, Hisao!" HISAO: "Hey. The Literature Club's meeting today, right?" SAYORI: "Yeah, it is! I was just heading there now. Do you still want to come along?" HISAO: "You betcha." Sayori seems to perk up, looking excited that I still want to come along to the club. SAYORI: "Look at you, finally doing some extracurriculars!" HISAO: "I mean, if you're the vice-president it can't be all that bad, right?" She giggles, making me smile. SAYORI: "Each individual club member makes it special. Everyone works hard to have fun together!" HISAO: "Well… let's not keep them waiting, it'd be rude to show up late. I wanna make a good first impression, after all." SAYORI: "Ah, I guess you're right. Come on, it's right this way and up the stairs at the end."  I follow Sayori down the hallway. She seems excited, and it's nice to know that I'm making her day at least a little bit better. The stairs lead up to a section of the school that I recognize as the third-years' wing. Sayori leads me to a classroom and knocks on the door. ... SAYORI: "Trust me, you're gonna love it!" She's definitely enthusiastic about this club, that's for sure. After a seemingly long wait, the door finally slides open. ...  A small, pink-haired girl peeks out.  NATSUKI: "Sayori…?" She peeks out further. SAYORI: "Heeyyy, Natsuki! Guess what? I found someone who wants to join our club!"  The girl, who's apparently called Natsuki, slowly turns a glare to me and narrows her eyes. She opens the door fully, and behind her I see another girl sitting at a desk, her face buried in a book." NATSUKI: "W-what?! Hey wait, Sayori!" Sayori practically pushes Natsuki out of the way. She seems excited to introduce me to the rest of the club members. SAYORI: "Hey guys, I wanted to introduce you to our newest member, Hisao!" HISAO: "Ah, Sayori, hold up!" It's a bit quick to call me the new member, isn't it? I then notice a third girl peek out from behind a bookshelf in the corner of the classroom. Can it be… is that Monika? Monika is one of the most popular girls of this high school. Everyone seems to flock to her because she's smart, beautiful, athletic...you name it, she's got it. Unfortunately, this also means she's completely out of my league. She looks at me first with a stern look, but then quickly lights up, puts down the books she's holding, and rushes over.  MONIKA: "Ah, Hisao! What a nice surprise! Welcome to the club!" The girl who has her face buried in her book suddenly jolts up and looks right at me. She quickly snaps her book shut and timidly moves to join the conversation."   YURI: "O-oh, a new member? My name is Yuri..." HISAO: "Y-yeah...” Holy crap, it seems that I've somehow lucked out. Not only is Monika in this club, but also a bunch of other cute girls." Am I glad I decided to come here instead of the Anime Club today! But enough gawking, Hisao! Stop staring and start talking!" HISAO: "It's nice to meet you, Yuri. Like Sayori said, I'm Hisao." I smile at her, then turn to Monika. SAYORI: "So it sounds like you already know Monika, is that right?" MONIKA: "That's right. It's great to see you again, Hisao." It’s hard to see, but every time a character talks, their sprite pops forward a bit to put a tighter spotlight on them. It’s a nice touch. Monika smiles sweetly. We do know each other - well, we rarely talked, but we were in the same class last year. It's kind of strange to say, but having her smile at me so genuinely makes me feel a bit starstruck. The powers of a school idol... HISAO: "Y-You too, Monika. So you guys run a club with just the four of you then, huh? Sayori told me about how you were looking for new members." MONIKA: "Ahaha, well I've actually been trying to push for more members for a while, but we haven't had any luck recently." HISAO: "Ah, Sayori did say..." My words dry up in my mouth as Natsuki shoots me a piercing glare. She looks pissed at me, but for what reason I don't know. I haven't really had the chance to do much besides walk in and say hello." NATSUKI: "Sayori, you brought a boy?!" SAYORI: "Yep! He told me he wanted to join just this morning." Not sure if it's just Sayori being an airhead again, but I don't recall promising that I'd join... NATSUKI: "Ugh, great…" Natsuki glowers at us, folding her arms with an irritated huff. I don't really get why though... MONIKA: "Aha, sorry about Natsuki, that's just how she is. She's a little…standoffish to new members." HISAO: "Oh, it's nothing, I don't mind." NATSUKI: "Hey! I'm right here, you know!" MONIKA: "Haha, sorry, sorry. I've got to try to make a good impression though." SAYORI: "C'mooooon Natsuki, we need new members! If you don't feel like being nice to Hisao, can you at least be nice for me? Please?"  NATSUKI: "Geez, you don't have to make such a big deal out of it. Fine, fine. If you're gonna beg, I guess I have no choice." SAYORI: "Hooray! Thanks, Natsuki!" Looks like I know who the tsundere of the group is now... It's almost comical, the extent to which Natsuki fits that trope. Well, maybe my view of the world is just clouded by anime influences though." MONIKA: "Anyway, let's get this conversation back on track, aha... How'd you come to learn about the Literature Club, Hisao?" YURI: "I-I'll have to admit, I'm a bit curious about that, myself..." HISAO: "Ah, Sayori and I were just walking to school when she mentioned this club to me. Since I was sorta looking for a club to join, I figured that I should check you guys out. At any rate, Sayori was really enthusiastic about the Literature Club, so..." Monika beams at Sayori when she hears this. Guess Sayori has done a good job at advertising for the club. YURI: "I see… Well, I t-think this is a great place to start… after all, books can be very...enticing..." SAYORI: "Yeah, it's super fun! I think the club is the only place where I've been feeling comfortable lately." Sayori's face falls for a moment, but she quickly picks herself back up. SAYORI: "It's somewhere I can just sit and read while hanging out with friends." MONIKA: "I think they summed up the club pretty well. After all, I started it to bring together like minded people who love literature! I'm really happy with how it's turned out so far - it's very cozy. But enough introductions. Why don't you come in and take a seat, Hisao? Did you bring anything to read?" As she asks that, I realize I'm not much of a reader, much less someone who 'loves literature.' To be honest, I haven't thought this through very well. Would joining a club that focuses on reading really be the best thing for me? HISAO: "Oh uhh… no, I don't really have any books on me at the moment. I just haven't seen any good titles recently..." I lie through my teeth, hoping Monika doesn't see through my facade. I obviously don't read much, but if they believe that I do, hopefully it’ll help me relate to these girls." MONIKA: "Ah, well we have plenty of books here. If you want to check out what we have, I'm sure you'll find something that matches your taste!" HISAO: "I-is that so? Then I guess I'll head over there; maybe something might catch my eye." I start to sweat nervously as I walk awkwardly over to the bookshelf. There looks to be a good variety of books available, ranging in genre from horror and fantasy, all the way down to non-fiction. Sheepishly, I turn towards…"  >Yuri >Natsuki Our first choice of the game. Katawa Shoujo’s first act operates off a complicated series of flags that take you through different sets of scenes in a deliberately confusing manner; better to get you hooked if you’re invested in figuring out how to navigate the system. Instead of taking that route (or, like Literature Club, having one path where everyone dies horribly), Blue Skies kicks off with simple counters that track how much time you’ve put into interacting with Sayori, Yuri, and Natsuki. Monika was supposed to have a route, but apparently the person in charge of writing it flaked out or their life blew up or something and the devs gave up on finishing it; some of the code for putting you on her route is still in the game, as are the parts of the route they did finish (I’ll probably cover them in a bonus update at some point), but in the mod as it stands, we’ll be choosing between those three and their routes.However haven’t seen much of these girls yet – we haven’t seen much of anybody yet – and we already need to decide which route to start off with. Sayori… We’ve seen enough of Sayori already to get an idea of what she’s about, but we literally just met Yuri and Natsuki. So let’s look at both real quick. =>Yuri Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Play With Me HISAO: "Hey, could you help me pick out a book you think I'd like?"  YURI: "O-Oh! Um, I'd be happy to… If the prospect isn't too offputting, I know of a wonderful horror novel..." To be honest, horror never particularly appealed to me. Still, I want to make an effort here. HISAO: "I have an open mind. What book were you thinking of?" Blushing, Yuri bends down and removes a thick book from the bookcase. It has a large, piercing eye on the cover; it almost feels like it's staring into my soul... YURI: "One of my personal favorites: Portrait of Markov. I know it might look intimidating, but… s-sorry..." She shakes her head, and goes to put the book back, but I stop her. HISAO: "Don't worry about it, I'd love to check it out. What's it about?" A coy smile plays across her face, as though she were pleasantly surprised by my enthusiasm. YURI: "Let's see… The protagonist is a young high-school student who moves in with her sister. But shortly after, sinister things start happening. The two are captured by an ominous cult that practices nightmarish experiments on their prisoners. Throughout the story, she's forced to make choices no one her age should have to make. In the process, her ability to trust others is warped, and many of her relationships are broken as a result." Pretty dark, but hey. I'd be lying if I said it didn't sound interesting. HISAO: "Well, it definitely sounds pretty engaging. I think I'll read this book then." Natsuki mumbles something, but she's just barely out of earshot. YURI: "R-Really? You don't have to if you don't w-want to..." HISAO: "I do! While this might not be what I usually pick, your description of the plot intrigued me. Although I have to ask… what makes this your favorite book?" YURI: "If I had to put it into words… "  YURI: “I suppose I'm a big believer in literature's ability to challenge the psyche, so to have such an immersive tale question your ideals and foundations can be extremely exhilarating…" She smiles, and twirls a long, lavender strand of hair around with her finger. YURI: "Words are immensely powerful; they can paint stunning portraits, invoke emotion, or even whisk oneself away to an entirely new dimension...” As she continues to speak, she transforms from the timid girl I just met into a proud and confident expert. I get the impression that she feels more at home with books rather than other people." YURI: "Isn't that exhilarating, Hisao? We have such a vast vocabulary at our disposal… with such a powerful resource at our fingertips… we can do anything." I clear my throat, hoping that I don't put her off with my evident inexperience. HISAO: "Yeah… when you put it that way, I can understand how powerful the written word can be." I scratch the back of my head nervously. Fortunately, she finds that to be a satisfactory answer. YURI: "Mhmm… One must look at the words the author chose… We have so many synonyms; so what compelled the author to shape their story the way they did?”  YURI: “The feeling I get when I finally finish a truly compelling novel…it leaves me totally breathtaken..." I wish I had something as coherent to respond with. We might as well be from different planets. HISAO: "I think I know what you mean..." She closes her eyes, pulling her hands close to her chest. Then, as though remembering she's not alone, she suddenly blinks, and immediately appears more bashful.  YURI: "O-Oh goodness… I'm sorry, I must have gotten lost in my train of thought..." She fidgets with a thin clip in her hair, sliding it up and down. HISAO: "Hey, don't worry about it. It's nice to see you talk about something you obviously enjoy. Who's to say otherwise?" Yuri glances over to Natsuki, who simply raises her eyebrow in reply. HISAO: "Ah…does Natsuki not like these kinds of stories?" She sighs, and turns to look out of the window. YURI: "Th-That's putting it lightly... We...have our differences in what we enjoy, literature wise." She frowns slightly, as though pained by Natsuki's apparent disapproval. HISAO: "Well, I think everyone's different tastes are what make literature interesting, especially when talking about it with other people." I can't help but grin. I feel like that was actually pretty clever. YURI: "Yes…that's a good way of looking at it..." I reach over and take 'Portrait of Markov' from her, tucking it under my arm. HISAO: "Well, I'll give this a bit of a read and see how far I can get tonight." YURI: "I appreciate you giving it a chance, even if it's not something you're used to. I'll be looking forward to hearing your opinion. I must warn you though: once you get past the first few chapters, you might have trouble putting it down. And perhaps…tomorrow, I-I mean, if you wanted to…we could…” YURI: “...Discuss it…" She looks quite nervous as she suggests that. Guess that's just how her personality is. HISAO: "Yeah, we can do that tomorrow. Thanks for the recommendation, Yuri. I do need to branch out and try new things, this'll be a good place to start." I'm grateful that I get to read it on my own, at least for now. I honestly have no idea if I'll even like it, and if I were reading it with her and decided I didn't, that might make things a little awkward. With the book in hand, I make my way to a desk. The others are all now preoccupied, so this seems like a convenient time to start the story.  It's definitely an...unusual book. Horror was never really my thing, but I have to admit the main idea is intriguing and the main characters are written well. The more I read, the more I can see why it appeals to Yuri. All that talk about appreciating sophisticated language… While it's not exactly my kind of story, to their credit the author does a good job building up the rather bleak situation. I've never been particularly imaginative, but even I can picture the scenes in my head. If I weren't so tired, I could probably engage with it more. That’s Yuri down. Let’s try Natsuki =>Natsuki Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Play With Me HISAO: "Uh...so do you have any recommendations?" I take a closer look at the books as I say that, and to my surprise I notice that there's a rather extensive collection of manga on the bottom shelves. When I glance back up at the girls, I notice Natsuki staring down at the manga too. Our eyes suddenly meet, and she looks away, blushing."  NATSUKI: "W-well, what do you like to read, huh?" HISAO: "Honestly, I just read manga most of the time, so the collection down there caught my eye. I didn't know that manga was allowed in the classroom like this." MONIKA: "Ahaha, those are actually Natsuki's!" NATSUKI: "Don't just say it like that! I-I just put them there while I was reorganizing the closet. Monika always messes with my collection when she goes in there so I'm trying to make more space for them." As she says this, Natsuki shoots a look at Monika, who smiles sweetly in return. HISAO: "Which series do you have? I've read a lot but I don't think I recognize many here…" Most of the book spines are vibrantly colored, with big blocky letters announcing the titles. The Boss is a Maid, Rice Ball Basket, Orange High School Night Club...I've never heard of these series in my life. That probably means they're either way out of my demographic or they're simply terrible." NATSUKI: "If you're gonna judge, you can go do it through the glass on that door." She points to the classroom door. HISAO: "H-Hey, I wasn't judging anything...! I didn't even say anything." NATSUKI: "I could tell just by your expression. But I'll tell you one thing, Hisao.”  NATSUKI: “Consider this a lesson straight from the Literature Club: Don't judge a book by its cover! In fact--" Natsuki stomps over to the bookshelf, elbowing me out of the way, and pulls a very pink book out from a box set. NATSUKI: "I'm gonna show you exactly why!" She unceremoniously shoves it right into my hands. HISAO: "Ah..." I stare at the cover. It's the first volume of a series titled Parfait Girls, and features four girls in colorful attire striking animated feminine poses. It's...exceedingly moe." NATSUKI: "Well? Don't just stand there!"  YURI: "Natsuki, have you considered that maybe Hisao might not want to read this…?" NATSUKI: "Excuse me? Who are you to say that Hisao likes or dislikes something?" I quickly break in to try to relieve some of the sudden tension. HISAO: "Uhm, thanks for your concern Yuri, but I'm definitely open to trying out new things. I don't usually read this stuff, but I'm willing to give it a try." YURI: "O-oh, alright then." Natsuki triumphantly smirks a bit while Yuri abashedly looks away. I guess I can't satisfy everyone… NATSUKI: "I'd have thought you spent enough time in the Literature Club to not judge books by their covers either, Yuri! Manga can have just as deep of storylines as your novels can." YURI: "I never said that they can't. It's just…" Yuri looks like she's holding herself back from saying something. NATSUKI: "Just what? Just because they have pictures in them, they're childish or something? Well, there's a reason why people say a picture's worth a thousand words. Sometimes, there are things that are best described through art. Manga blends both good art and good writing to create fantastic stories. Plus, being able to actually see the characters helps you to relate and empathize with them!" Yuri thinks to herself, looking a bit perturbed. YURI: "I...I see. I just meant that manga is...a bit unorthodox as a medium." NATSUKI: "Well, manga is literature too!" It's obvious that the two girls have their differences. Yuri appears comparably more mature and timid, and seems to have a hard time keeping up with people like Sayori and Natsuki. Meanwhile, Natsuki seems to be a lot more forward and outspoken. And although she looks like the youngest in the club, she's clearly just as passionate about her hobbies as the others are. NATSUKI: "Anyway! This'll be your homework today Hisao! I'll let you borrow volume one for tonight, so you can start on the next book tomorrow. But if you smudge or bend it, I'll kill you!" HISAO: "Ah, you don't have to worry about that. I'm pretty protective of my manga too. Is it really alright if I borrow it though?" I say that mostly because I really didn't plan on using my spare time to read this... NATSUKI: "Well, of course. It would take forever to finish if you only read it here." I might fall behind on some shows if I try to get through this... But I suppose that's a necessary sacrifice in exchange for seeing Natsuki's enthusiastic face. Or am I more scared of what will happen if I don't finish it...?" HISAO: "Okay then!" The girls on the cover of the manga beam up at me, and I can't help but shiver a bit. I guess I shouldn't underestimate what high school girls are into… Hopefully I can get away with skimming through it." NATSUKI: "Make sure you read it thoroughly, 'cause I'll be quizzing you on it tomorrow!" Is she a mind reader? HISAO: "In that case, I think I'll give it a shot now actually. I want to make sure that I have enough time to finish it after all." NATSUKI: "Fine, but I'll be keeping a close eye on you then!" I slide into a nearby desk as the rest of the girls dissipate, moving to work on their own things. I quickly start flipping through the pages. Given that pictures take up the majority of space on the pages of the manga, it doesn't take me long to get through the beginning. As I read, I start to become more aware of Natsuki sneaking peeks in my direction. She seems intently focused on my face, as if waiting to see my reactions to her manga. I clear my throat. HISAO: "Ahem. Natsuki, did you need something? You seem to really like looking in my direction…" I feel a smile creeping through as Natsuki starts to furiously blush and splutters a response. NATSUKI: "Y-you idiot! It's not like I was looking at you or anything! I was just - just staring into space!" HISAO: "Don't you have anything better to do?" NATSUKI: "Hmph! Yeah, of course!" With that, Natsuki huffily turns away to seek refuge in the closet, where loud rummaging sounds soon follow. I guess I should keep on reading then…" As it turns out, Parfait Girls is just as I imagined it would be. It's basically about a bunch of friends in high school and the cutesy hijinks they get themselves into. Typical slice-of-life affair. I kind of grew out of these, since it's rare for the writing to be entertaining enough to make up for the lack of plot. To its credit, it does manage to subvert some anime tropes quite neatly though. The more I read, the more I can see why it appeals to Natsuki. All that talk about appreciating the expressiveness of art… While I don't exactly read romance manga usually, the artist actually does a good job of portraying the girls as their own characters. I often find that the girls in these kinds of stories are bland and unoriginal - not to mention that they often suffer from same-face-syndrome too. So it's a pleasant surprise to find that the title characters are likeable and unique in their own ways. No matter who we go with, eventually… Still, over time I can't help but grow a little bored though. I decide I'll finish it later tonight and place the novel in my bag. Looking up, I spot Sayori reading something. Might as well see what she's up to. Standing up with a stretch, I make my way over and take a seat next to her. In KS I had a clear idea of which routes to hit in which order to keep an emotional rhythm; this time I don’t know what I’m doing any better than you people. So while I recover from jetlag caused by two redeyes in a row, I think it’s time to throw the gates open: Who will we go with first?
Please bold the name in your response! Voting closes in 48 hours.
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Mar 15, 2022 00:09
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Spector29 posted:Best friend and best girl Sayori, for sure. … Seriously? I remember how people swore by that in high school. poo poo, that’s some range right there. Namtab posted:Im hoping this turns out to be more than doki doki literature club "i can fix her" edition. Yeah, I noticed how they were leaning into the depression naps and isolation instinct with her right away. Bodes well.
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Mar 15, 2022 21:21
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Jade Rider posted:Natsuki, might as well rip the tsundere bandaid off all the way. Honestly, the more I play ahead the more I like her; she has an actual aesthetic philosophy and a habit of laying down good points. gently caress it, lightning round! Unless I miscounted it, Nats and Sayori are now tied, first vote secures the route.
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Mar 16, 2022 15:19
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jaydee864 posted:Sayori, please. I'm interested to see what happens to her since hopefully she won't be suffering the same fate as in the base game. Well, there you go. Vote closed. .And I can tell you this game has multiple endings, good and bad, and we aren't shooting for the bad ones in the body of the LP.
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Mar 16, 2022 15:30
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Update 3: Okay, everyone! Binyot, why do you play baby games? I want schüt. The Room references aside, the thread decided on Sayori - unsurprising, considering how much screen time she’s gotten. Gotta admit, I was kinda hoping for Natsuki to see how they rescue that archetype, but Sayori’s frankly in a better position for analysis. For future reference, when it came to the two options we had last update, I went with Yuri because I accidentally wrote over the save where we went with Natsuki and I didn’t want to reload. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Doki Doki Literature Club! (Main Theme)  HISAO: "Hey, how's it going Sayori? What are you reading?" As I sit down, I notice that she looks quite content. SAYORI: "Nothing much, just reading some stuff for a school project. What about you? You seemed really into your book!" HISAO: "Oh, yeah. It was a good read, at least as far as I can tell right now." I can't help but wish I sounded a little more enthusiastic. SAYORI: "That's great! So how are you liking the club? …You're not bored, are you?" She looks a little worried, her cheerful persona faltering for a moment. Where did that question come from? It's a bit too early to tell how I really feel about the Club." HISAO: "Of course not, Sayori! Sure, I haven't been here for long, but I've enjoyed meeting everyone. They've opened my eyes to new stuff. I've never been huge on reading, but I'm confident the Literature Club could change that." SAYORI: "Well I'm glad to hear that you're involved! You don't want to join a club that you have no interest in, right?" HISAO: "I know what you mean; I think reading will grow on me in time. Actually, do you mind if I sit with you and read?" She looks at me, clearly surprised. I don't think she was expecting me to sit next to her, but nonetheless she seems happy. Her smile is infectious, lifting my own spirits too. SAYORI: "That would be great, Hisao! Hehe~" We read for a while, which turns into talking fairly quickly, our conversation being a continuation of our chat from the walk to school. It's nice to just sit and talk with my childhood friend; who'd have guessed reconnecting would be so easy? I haven't felt this content for as long as I can remember. The good mood reflects on her as well, given that she seems very uplifted and bubbly. I don't know what it is about her that makes me so… at ease. HISAO: "Wow, we've been talking for a bit haven't we? Man, I didn't even realize the time." SAYORI: "Ehehe, I guess we have been talking for a while…" HISAO: "I can see why you come to the Literature Club so much. There really is a welcome, at-ease vibe here. It must be a nice change of pace after how hectic the school day can be." SAYORI: "I was hoping you'd say that, Hisao! It really is, and I'm grateful for the others as well. They really help make the club the way it is." HISAO: "I can't help but notice that Natsuki and Yuri seem to be very different, though. Do they argue much?" She looks a little downcast at my question. SAYORI: "Sometimes, yes...but thankfully it isn't often." I can sense this isn't a topic she likes discussing. HISAO: "Well, that's only normal, I guess. Monika seems like a great president though. She must be very proud of this club." Just then, Monika gets up from the desk she was sitting at and faces the classroom confidently. HISAO: "Speak of the devil…" Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Okay, Everyone!  MONIKA: "Okay, everyone! I hope we're all having a good time so far!" There's a good moment of silence during which everyone seems to be glancing at me. Do they want me to respond? HISAO: "I'm honestly having a great time. Thanks for the warm welcome, everyone." MONIKA: "Well it's great to hear that! And as it turns out, Natsuki baked some cupcakes for the club, too!" NATSUKI: "Yeah yeah, I know. I was just about to announce it, so let me get them..." SAYORI: "Let's go sit over there, Hisao! It looks like there's room at those desks for all of us." I dutily follow Sayori over to where the rest of the girls have pulled a couple of desks together to form a table. YURI: "How about I make some tea as well?" Natsuki and Yuri walk over to the corner of the room, where Natsuki grabs a wrapped tray and Yuri opens the closet. Still feeling a bit awkward, I opt to take a seat next to Sayori. If the conversation starts to die out, I can always rely on her to save me." Meanwhile, Natsuki proudly marches back to the table, tray in hand." NATSUKI: "Okaaay, are you ready? ...Ta-daa!" SAYORI: "Uwooooah!"  Natsuki lifts the foil off the tray to reveal a dozen white, fluffy cupcakes decorated to look like little cats. The whiskers are drawn with icing, and little pieces of chocolate were used to make ears." SAYORI: "So cuuuute~!" MONIKA: "I had no idea you were so good at baking, Natsuki!" NATSUKI: "Ehehe, well, you know… Just hurry and take one!" Sayori grabs one first, then Monika. I follow. SAYORI: "It's delicious!" Sayori talks with her mouth full and has already managed to get icing on her face. I turn the cupcake around in my fingers, looking for the best angle to take a bite. Natsuki is quiet. I can't help but notice her sneaking glances in my direction. Is she waiting for me to take a bite? I finally bite down. The icing is sweet and full of flavor - if she made it all by herself, that's seriously impressive. It practically tastes professionally done to me. But then again, it's not like I have the most discerning taste palette. HISAO: "These cupcakes are amazing… Thank you, Natsuki!"  NATSUKI: "Heh, y-yeah. You better thank me, 'cause this took hard work to do!" HISAO: "Yeah, it really seems like it. Did you make it by yourself, or did you parents help you?" NATSUKI: "Hey, what's that supposed to mean? Are you saying I couldn't have done it myself?" HISAO: "A-ah, no...it's just that it seems professionally made, so I was wondering if an actual baker helped you."  NATSUKI: "Pfft, I wish my dad was a baker. But just because I don't bake for money, it doesn't mean that I can't be good." HISAO: "Yeah, you're right. Sorry, I just suck at cooking myself, so I'm wowed by good cooking. I guess I should count myself lucky that I got to try your cupcakes today, eh?" NATSUKI: "Uh-huh. It's not every day that I have the time to bake. So be thankful!" The expression on Natsuki's face practically says 'bow down before me, peasant.' MONIKA: "Aha, are you expecting Hisao to prostrate himself before you?” Looks like Monika had the same thought." NATSUKI: "Uuu--!" SAYORI: "You can't blame Natsuki for bragging a little though, ehe. I would too if I made these~" NATSUKI: "Y-yeah, exactly!" Natsuki smiles gratefully at Sayori's save. Meanwhile, Yuri returns to the table, carrying a tea set. She carefully places a teacup in front of each of us before setting down the teapot next to the cupcake tray. HISAO: "You keep a whole tea set in this classroom?" YURI: "Don't worry, the teachers gave us permission. After all, doesn't a hot cup of tea help you enjoy a good book?" HISAO: "Ah...I-I guess..." MONIKA: "Ehehe, don't let yourself get intimidated, Yuri's just trying to impress you." YURI: "Eh?! T-That's not..." Embarrassed, Yuri looks away. YURI: "I meant that, you know..." HISAO: "Don't worry about it, I believe you." HISAO: "Tea and reading might not be a common pastime for me, but I can at least appreciate it." YURI: "I'm glad..." Yuri faintly smiles to herself in relief. Monika raises an eyebrow, then smiles at me." MONIKA: "I'm happy that you look like you're enjoying yourself, Hisao. As president of the Literature Club, it's my duty to make the club fun and exciting for everyone!" HISAO: "Oh, that reminds me. I've actually been meaning to ask you something, Monika. How come you decided to start your own club? You could probably be a board member for any of the major clubs. Weren't you a leader of the debate club last year?"  MONIKA: "Ahaha, well, you know..."  MONIKA: "To be honest, I can't stand all of the politics around the major clubs. It feels like nothing but arguing about the budget and publicity and how to prepare for events... I'd much rather take something I personally enjoy and make something special out of it. And if it encourages others to get into literature, then I'm fulfilling that dream!" SAYORI: "Monika really is a great leader!" Yuri also nods in agreement. HISAO: "Then I'm surprised there aren't more people in the club yet. But I guess it must be hard to start a new club, since everyone's probably settled into their own activities already." MONIKA: "You could put it that way. It can be hard to get people invested in things that are brand new... Especially when it's something that doesn't grab your attention, like literature. You have to work to convince people that you're both fun and worthwhile. But it makes school events, like the cultural festival, that much more important." HISAO: "Speaking of school events, I don't think I saw your club at the Club Fair at the beginning of the year?" MONIKA: "Ah...that's because I hadn't started it yet, aha." HISAO: "Oh, guess that explains why you don't have many members yet." MONIKA: "Yeah, we missed that opportunity to draw in first years who hadn't found clubs yet... It's a lot harder to advertise on a person-by-person basis... And like you said, a lot of people already have other extracurriculars by now. But even so, I'm confident that we can all really grow this club before we graduate! Right, everyone?" SAYORI: "Yeah!" YURI: "We'll do our best." NATSUKI: "You know it!"  Everyone enthusiastically agrees. Such different girls, all interested in the same goal... Monika must have worked really hard just to find these three. Maybe that's why they were all so delighted by the idea of a new member joining. Though I still don't really know if I can keep up with their level of enthusiasm about literature... HISAO: "By the way, I know that everyone here likes reading, but do you guys write as well?" 6. Play With Us - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST MONIKA: "Actually, we haven't really done any writing together, funnily enough." HISAO: "Do you guys just read and discuss books, then?" MONIKA: "Aha, you could say that." Sounds more like a normal book club than a literature club... HISAO: "Huh, to be honest, I was kind of expecting you all to do stuff like write poetry together." At the word 'poetry,' Natsuki jolts back a bit. HISAO: "Eh? Do you not like poetry, Natsuki?" NATSUKI: "W-what? Uh, I don't really have an opinion on it, I guess..." MONIKA: "Oh really?" With a sly smile, Monika gets up, rummages through her bookbag, and returns with a loose notebook page in her hands. MONIKA: "I happen to have here a poem called--" NATSUKI: "Hey! Where'd you get that?!" Natsuki springs up and snatches the paper out of Monika's grasp. MONIKA: "Don't worry, I didn't steal it from your bag or anything. You dropped it on the way out the other day. I was going to return it, but I couldn't help teasing you a bit before I did that~" NATSUKI: “W-well, I'd appreciate it if you kept your nosy nose out of my private work." MONIKA: "Aha, duly noted. And sorry, I just couldn't help glancing over your poem when I picked it up. Your writing style is really cute, Natsuki." SAYORI: "Ehehe, your cupcakes, your poems... Everything you do is just as cute as you are~" Sayori sidles up behind Natsuki and puts her hands on her shoulders.  NATSUKI: "I'm not cute!!" SAYORI: "Hey, there's nothing to be ashamed of~" HISAO: "So you do write your own poems, Natsuki." NATSUKI: "Eh? Well...I guess sometimes. Why do you care?" HISAO: "I just think that's pretty neat. Why don't you share them with the club sometime?" NATSUKI: "N-Not if everyone's just gonna call them cute!" HISAO: "Like Sayori said, there's nothing wrong with being cute, you know." NATSUKI: "Ugh, you wouldn't get it."  NATSUKI: "There's nothing worse than trying to get honest feedback from someone and just having them say it's cute." Scorn drips from the word 'cute.' HISAO: "Ah...I guess I didn't think of it that way." NATSUKI: "Yeah, no one does. It's super annoying, you know."  YURI: "Actually...I believe I understand how Natsuki feels." Natsuki looks surprised at Yuri's sudden interjection. YURI: "Sharing that level of writing takes more than just confidence... The truest form of writing is writing to oneself. You must be willing to open up to your readers, exposing your vulnerabilities and showing even the deepest reaches of your heart. And when that's all dismissed with a single remark, well... Suffice to say, it can greatly discourage you from putting your work out there again." MONIKA: "It sounds like both you and Natsuki have writing experiences in common, Yuri." YURI: "M-maybe... Erm, although I didn't mean to speak for Natsuki!" NATSUKI: "Geez, it's fine. I pretty much agree with what you said, so..." A brief moment of silence falls upon us as we all reflect on the conversation. MONIKA: "Hmm, this just gave me an idea, everyone~" We all look quizzically at Monika, who smiles knowingly back at us.  MONIKA: "If we have members who are looking for legitimate criticism of their poetry, how about we do that here? I'm sure we can all trust each other to be respectful, and I think it'd be a fun activity for us!" YURI: "E-eh? Umm, I don't know if I feel comfortable sharing my old poetry.. I d-didn't write it to be read by the public, s-so--!" NATSUKI: "Y-yeah, same here!" MONIKA: "That's fine, we can all just go home and write new poems to bring tomorrow! I was going to suggest that anyway, since I don't think the rest of us have poetry ready to share yet." NATSUKI: "U-Um..." YURI: "..." SAYORI: "Yeaaah! That sounds awesome! I think learning about poetry would be really fun!" MONIKA: "Mhmm! And now that we have a new member, I think it will help us all get a little more comfortable with each other and strengthen the bond of the club. Isn't that right, Hisao?" Monika smiles warmly at me once again. The Literature Club has been very welcoming so far, at least after the initial introductions were made. And although I'll have to start writing poems, it seems like a fair price to pay in order to spend every day with these beautiful girls. I had my doubts at first, but given how friendly and welcoming these girls are, I don't really see any reason why I shouldn't join the club. HISAO: "Yep, I'll be looking forward to becoming better friends with you all!" MONIKA: "Then that makes it official!"  MONIKA: "Welcome to the Literature Club!" HISAO: "Thank you Monika." SAYORI: "Yesss! I'm so happyyy you're joining us~" Sayori wraps her arms around me, jumping up and down. HISAO: "H-Hey--" SAYORI: "And thanks for playing along, ehe~" She whispers this last remark in my ear. So she was aware that I'd never agreed to join in the beginning. That sneaky girl... Although Sayori is the most enthusiastic, all of the girls' eyes are lit up in happiness." NATSUKI: "I would have been super pissed if you just left after eating my cupcakes." YURI: "I'm very glad that you're staying as well." MONIKA: "Okay, everyone! I think with that, we can officially end today's meeting on a good note. Don't forget tonight's assignment! Write a poem to bring to the next meeting so that we can hold discussions!" Monika looks over at me once more. MONIKA: "Hisao, I look forward to seeing how you express yourself. Ehehe~" HISAO: "Yeah..." Can I really impress Monika with my mediocre reading and writing skills? Something tells me no...geez, I can already feel the anxiety welling up inside me. Ah well, it's not like Monika's going to be as harsh as an actual literature teacher though, right? Meanwhile, the others continue to chit-chat as Yuri and Natsuki clean up their food. HISAO: "Hey Sayori, since we're already here, do you want to walk home together?" Given that she introduced me to all these amazing people, it's the least I could do for her. SAYORI: "Sure - let's head home!" With that, the two of us wave goodbye to the others and make our way home. 25. Cinnamon - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST On the way back, we discuss the events of the day, focusing particularly on each club member. As we do so, my mind wanders between them all:  Sayori,  Natsuki,  Yuri,  and Monika. I’m excited to hang out with everyone from now on. Perhaps I'll have the chance to grow closer to one of them…? Alright! I'll just need to make the most of my circumstances, and I'm sure good fortune will find me. And I guess that starts with writing a poem tonight... 23. Our Next Chapter - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST    Doki Doki Blue Skies, instead of using a concrete scene structure like KS, divides itself up by days, each of which ends with a cute little animation where littler versions of the main four hop as the sun and moon circle above them. It works well enough, but the lack of clear scene transitions make it much harder to divvy up the text for updates; expect much more varied update lengths. Many days (at least in the first act) also end with a chance to write a poem. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Dreams Of Love and Literature  It’s time to write a poem! Pick words you think your favorite club member will like. Something good might happen with whoever likes your poem the most! 
While the poem-writing process was present in Literature Club, here it’s a vital game mechanic, the main way you boost your relationships. Every time you open the poem screen (including when you reload the game if you save it there, which makes screenshot in this difficult  ), you get a list of 10 randomly generated words drawn from a list of a few hundred. Each of these words is attached to either Sayori, Yuri, or Natsuki and boost your relationship with them when you use it; Yuri favors dramatic or morbid words and abstract concepts, Natsuki favors cutesy imagery and action words, and Sayori favors more personal imagery and strong emotions. For instance, here vibrant, effulgent, agonizing, and universe endear you to Yuri, Natsuki likes shiny, lollipop, and blanket, and Sayori favors family, warm, and dark. There’s a few hundred of these, most of which are pretty obvious once you figure out what to look for. But not all of them. Yuri’s list includes massacre, horror, mausoleum, and entropy, but also vivid, pleasure, and heavensent. Natsuki’s list includes marshmallow, candy, bunny, and of course kawaii, but also heartbreak, anger, and papa. And Sayori’s list includes happiness, friendship, joy, and sunshine, but also broken, scars… And death.Anyway, I have access to the full word list (thanks for the game files Quackles, the LP wouldn’t be possible without you), so every word I pick will carry us along. We choose a whopping 20 words (about 1/3 Natsuki’s and 2/3 Sayori’s) from these lists, then we skip to the next scene without any word on what our result will be.
Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 23:09 on Mar 16, 2022 |
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Mar 16, 2022 21:47
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Update 4: Although I was surprised to see her so dedicated Rescue me before I fall into despair… 6. Play With Us - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST  MONIKA: "Hisao! Fancy meeting you here!" HISAO: "Aha, yeah. What a coincidence, huh?" MONIKA: "Seriously speaking though, I'm happy to see you back here~. I would've been disappointed if you ran away on us, ahaha!" HISAO: "Hey, I enjoyed myself last time, so why wouldn't I come back?" MONIKA: "True enough, aha. Feel free to make yourself at home before we start on our club activities." HISAO: "Thanks, will do." Well, I'm back at the Literature Club. Sayori and I were the last to come in, so everyone else is already hanging out." YURI: "Oh, H-Hisao! I'm glad to see you here again." Who knew that something so simple would warrant so much thanks? First Monika and now Yuri... YURI: "I know that it may be overwhelming to be thrown into a new hobby so suddenly, much less an organization centered around that hobby... So don't hesitate to let me know if you ever need any help. Erm, o-or any other club member for that matter! Th-that is to say, feel free to ask any one of us for assistance..." HISAO: "Right, thanks. I'll keep that in mind. Don't worry though, it's not like I've never read anything before, haha. I even remembered to write a poem for today, if you'll believe it."  NATSUKI: "We'll believe it when we see it." HISAO: "Hey, it's not like I need to have a university degree to write a poem. It was just like another school assignment. Although it might be a little new to me, it's not that hard." NATSUKI: "It's not that hard to write a bad poem, you mean." She's got me there. HISAO: "And that's why I never said I wrote a good poem." Natsuki smirks at me, seemingly pleased that I'm not offended by her teasing. YURI: "Well, 'good' is often subjective when it comes to subjects like these... I'm sure you did fine, Hisao." HISAO: "Well, thanks for the vote of confidence. Try not to overhype my work though, heh." NATSUKI: "Yeah Yuri, if you keep your expectations low you'll never be disappointed. Besides, I bet this is the first extracurricular Hisao's done since high school started. So extra work is probably really foreign to him." Again, she's not wrong...but she doesn't have to say it like that! YURI: "Natsuki, you're being unfairly harsh..." NATSUKI: "Hisao, what would you say your main hobbies are?" Wow, she's really putting me on the spot here. HISAO: "I know I'm playing into your teasing right now, but yes, I spend a lot of my time playing games and watching anime." NATSUKI: "And that's all you need to know." MONIKA: "That's a bit rich coming from someone who keeps her manga collection in the clubroom." NATSUKI: "W-wha--" Natsuki splutters to a halt. Looks like a certain someone knows how to dish it out but can't take it. NATSUKI: "Manga is literature!!" Swiftly defeated, Natsuki plops back into her seat. SAYORI: "Don't worry, guys~ Hisao always gives it his best as long as he's having fun. He's always been there when I need it! When we were kids, he'd always be around to help me with stuff, ehehe~" YURI: "Oh, are you two childhood friends?" I glance at Sayori. Despite her cheery recollection of our childhood memories just then, Yuri's question is a reminder that we haven't spent much time together in a long time. It's a tad awkward. HISAO: "Yeah, we've known each other for a while, haven't we?" We smile at each other. I'm really hoping we can use the club to reconnect. YURI: "Such a history with one another...I imagine you've shared much together." HISAO: "You could say that. Would you believe Sayori is still as clumsy now as she was ten years ago?"  SAYORI: "Hey! Meanie...that's not true..." HISAO: "Oh? Need I tell Yuri about the time you tried to cook lunch and almost set the house on fi-" Her face turns pink, and she rushes to interrupt me. SAYORI: "Anyway, I'm sure you two could be just as good of friends! After all, you're both in the Literature Club now!" HISAO: "Uh, yeah haha. Look forward to it." Yuri looks hopeful at hearing this. Although...I can't help but wonder… ...Given the maturity and intelligence she carries so elegantly, and how her passion for reading is much stronger than my own...will it be as easy as Sayori thinks it is? Still, it's worth a try at least. SAYORI: "Yay!~ Oh, oh! Yuri even brought you something today, you know~" YURI: "W-Wait! Sayori..." Eh? Me? YURI: "Um... It's not much, really..." SAYORI: "Don't be shy~" YURI: "It's really nothing..." HISAO: "Whatever it is, I'm sure I'll like it. What is it, Yuri?" YURI: "Uuuuh, Sayori made it sound like a big deal when it's really not... I was going to wait to give it to you at the appropriate time, but..." SAYORI: "Eh? I'm sorry, Yuri, I wasn't thinking... Now I've ruined the surprise..." The two girls both look dolefully down. I guess that means it's up to me to rescue this situation..." HISAO: "Hey, don't worry about it. First of all, I wasn't expecting anything in the first place. So this is still a pleasant surprise to me. Just knowing that you went through the effort to get me something makes me feel really welcomed. No matter what, I'm sure it'll make me happy." YURI: "I-Is that so...?" HISAO: "Of course. Thanks for being so considerate, Yuri." YURI: "You're welcome... It was the least I could do. A-anyway...if that's the case, here it is..." Yuri reaches into her bag and pulls out a book. Isn't this…the book from yesterday? Upon seeing the confused look on my face, she hastens to explain. YURI: "I thought you might like to, um, have your own copy so that…you can read it on your own as well..." I honestly don't know what to say. How is it that she's only known me for a day, yet she's already done something this thoughtful for me? HISAO: "Oh, Yuri, thank you! That's really thoughtful of you, but uh...you didn't have to do that for me. I feel kinda bad, aha…" YURI: "A-ah, I'm sorry! I didn't mean for that! I just, umm… I-I understand if you don't want to read with me anymore, so..." Honestly, she gets more adorable by the minute. HISAO: "Please, it's fine. I'd love to read it with you. I just wasn't expecting you to buy me a copy of my own." YURI: "Are you sure? I-I don't want to force you..." HISAO: "Seriously Yuri, I'm sure. After all…" I grin at her. HISAO: "It is a good book." She timidly returns my smile, relaxing a little bit. YURI: "I'm glad you seem to think so…how are you liking it so far?" She looks at me with wide, expectant eyes. She must be really worried that I'm not enjoying it as much as her. HISAO: "To be honest, I've been pleasantly surprised. While horror isn't really my thing, it really kept my attention. Even though I haven't gotten very far yet, I find myself feeling sorry for the protagonist. The language is pretty, uh…engaging? It certainly makes me think about it." As I praise the book, her face grows visibly more relieved, and her eyes light up as I mention the language. YURI: "I'm glad you think so. One not only needs to look at what is being said, but how it's phrased. It can entirely change the desired message, wouldn't you agree? " Oh boy, I hope we don't get into an in-depth discussion about the language; I'm still nowhere near Yuri's level with this sorta thing… HISAO: "Oh, totally. I never really thought about it until you brought it up with me. You really made me look at it with a bit more scrutiny than I would normally." She blushes at this, turning away slightly. YURI: "R-Really? I helped you with that?" HISAO: "I have to admit, you really managed to open my eyes to this sort of thing. Or should I say, my third eye?" YURI: "..." Yuri's silence makes me nervous. Did I make a mistake? HISAO: "You know? Because the book mentions the third eye, and there's an eye on the cover..." YURI: "Ah, I see…" Probably best not to comment on her accidental continuation of the pun… HISAO: "Tough crowd…" YURI: "Oh! I see, you were making a joke! I-I'm sorry, I didn't realize..." HISAO: "No worries, I just thought it was a good pun." She smiles bashfully. YURI: "Huhu… yes, it is quite humorous, isn't it?" Phew… I think that means everything is okay now. Now that everyone's settled in, I expected Monika to kick off the scheduled activities for the club. Like the poetry thing...I've already steeled myself for the critique I'll probably be receiving. But it seems that we have some downtime before then. Ah well. Looks like I won't be able to just immediately get it over with. Now we get the scene with whoever we’ve farmed up the most affection for her. The equation’s slightly biased against Sayori – we got a mandatory point for one of the other two earlier – but the poem we just wrote has like triple the value as far as the game’s concerned. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Ohayou Sayori! Hmm… Everyone seems to be doing their own thing today. Natsuki is rummaging around in the cupboard, and Yuri is sitting by herself, silently engrossed in her book. Meanwhile, Monika and Sayori seem to be talking animatedly about something. I’m not really in the mood to read anything. I slump down into the nearest desk. Closing my eyes, I end up listening in on Sayori’s conversation with Monika.  MONIKA: "...The problem with a literature club is that it just doesn’t sound particularly exciting. Plus, people probably have their own preconceptions about what the club will be like. I’m a bit worried they might assume we’re all pretentious and haughty…" SAYORI: "Yeah, it’s a real shame that people can’t look past their assumptions…" MONIKA: "Still, I’m confident we can come up with something. We can’t just give up - this festival is a real chance to show everyone what literature is all about! After all, we have such a variety here. Everyone’s poems and writing styles are so different. Natsuki loves manga and Yuri’s really into horror. There should be something here for everyone, you know?" SAYORI: "Agreed! I’m glad everyone has such different tastes~ It really helps bring the club to life." MONIKA: "That’s exactly what we want everyone else to see. We just need to find a way of showing how fun literature can be. Something that really stands out and appeals to their creative sides!" SAYORI: "Mmmmmmm… That doesn’t solve the problem, though!" MONIKA: "Huh? What do you mean?" SAYORI: "Well, even if we come up with the most fun thing ever… I don’t think people will come in the first place if it’s a literature event. Soo...I think it’s more important to figure out how to get people interested in the first place, right? then once they’re here, we can do whatever to appeal to their creative sides!" Huh. This is a side to Sayori I haven’t seen before. She’s really taking this seriously and giving it a lot of thought. MONIKA: "Excellent point, Sayori. Where would I be without my vice president? Okay, do you think food will get the job done?" I can practically hear Sayori’s face light up, even though I have my eyes closed. SAYORI: "Food! What kind!?" MONIKA: "You like that idea, huh? Aha. I was thinking -" SAYORI: "Cupcakes!" MONIKA: "Natsuki would love that. Good thinking!" SAYORI: "Her cupcakes are soooo good That works out perfectly~" MONIKA: "That wasn’t why you suggested it…?" SAYORI: "Cupcakes speak to my creative tummy! Seriously! They uhm...really help me write!" MONIKA: "… Okay, cupcakes will do fine." SAYORI: "All this talk about food has made me hungry…" MONIKA: "Anyway, don’t forget we still have to sort out the details of the festival itself!" I tune out the rest of the conversation as tiredness takes a stronger hold on me. Sayori is still her usual self. Bubbly and goofy. I guess some people never change. It brings a smile to my face. Although I was surprised to see her so dedicated. I always remembered her as the kind of person who just improvises things. Kinda like me, actually…"  I didn’t expect to see Sayori’s face taking up my vision when I opened my eyes. I nearly fall out of my chair. SAYORI: "Wake up, sleepyhead!" HISAO: "Geez Sayori, you scared me!" SAYORI: "Ehehe, sorry~ Hang on, I’m not sorry at all! Why were you napping? This is the literature club, not the napping club!" HISAO: "Wait, our school has a napping club?" SAYORI: "Hey, don’t try and change the subject, mister! The others won’t like if it they catch you sleeping, you know. I don’t want you getting in trouble…" HISAO: "Ah, Sayori. You’ve not changed one bit." SAYORI: "Huh?" HISAO: "You always used to look out for me. Back when we used to hang out." SAYORI: "Ehehe...I remember that. Do you remember that time when we went on a bike ride to that park? It feels like such a long time ago…" HISAO: "Yeah, I think I do, actually… It was in the summer. You’re talking about the time I fell off my bike and hurt my knee, right?" SAYORI: "Yeah, that one! You were in a lot of pain, but you were trying to act like it was no big deal… You were so silly. I had to go and get a band aid…” That memory makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. The fact I could tell straightaway which memory she was talking about makes me wonder if we have a psychic bond or something. HISAO: "Good times, good times… By the way, did you know you have a big toothpaste stain on your collar?" SAYORI: "E-eh? No I don’t!" She nervously picks at the stain with her hands as I stand up and get a closer look at her. HISAO: "Wait a sec. Your collar is sticking up a bit. Your hair doesn’t look brushed, either! Were you in a rush this morning?" SAYORI: "Ah--" I reach out and run my fingers down the messy part of her hair, in a vain attempt to straighten it out. Her hair is really soft, and smells faintly of cinnamon." HISAO: "I’m probably making this worse...you really need a brush, Sayori." SAYORI: "Noooo I don’t, my hair is just naturally like this! Okay okay, maybe it isn’t, but it’s super hard to get right!" I give up with her hair and try to wipe off the stain with my fingers. Much like with her hair, I’m not having much luck. HISAO: "C’mon Sayori, you can’t fool me. I know I’ve not seen much of you over the past few years, but I still know you. I can tell when you’ve been in a rush." SAYORI: "People wouldn’t even notice these things…" HISAO: "They would. They just wouldn’t say anything because they don’t want to embarrass you." I give up with the stain and step back, looking at her blazer. HISAO: "But luckily for you, I’m not bothered about that. Also, why don’t you button up your blazer?" She shrugs. SAYORI: "It was too stuffy last time I tried it." With a sigh, I start buttoning it up.  Yeah, our first CG of the route is us staring down at our love interest’s tits. Katawa Shoujo was in large part written by people either trying to spite visual novel conventions or just didn’t care about them; Blue Skies, however, clearly leans into those tropes, even when they get a bit scuzzy. We’ve already seen points where the paint starts to fleck off (Sayori’s checklist of depression symptoms, the way Yuri seems to try and fail to navigate her way past her social anxiety, how Natsuki breaks from the tsundere to clearly lay out her positions), but right now we are playing a more traditional visual novel. SAYORI: "Ehehe~ This is so funny." HISAO: "What is?" SAYORI: "Well... I was just thinking how weird it is to have a friend who does these kinds of things." I freeze. Now that I think about it, the situation is a little suggestive. After all, my hands are very close to her chest… Aaah...come on Hisao, get it together. You’re just helping out a friend, that’s all… HISAO: "D-Don’t say that! There’s nothing weird about this…" SAYORI: "If you say so~ It’s okay, though. I’m happy we’re like this. It makes me feel that nothing has really changed between us. Don’t you think?" HISAO: "Uhm...yeah, I guess. Ugh, why is this one button so hard to close?" SAYORI: "Hey, be careful!" HISAO: "This is impossible. Does this thing even fit you properly?" SAYORI: "It did when I bought it!" HISAO: "You know, if you actually buttoned it, you’d probably have realized sooner that it doesn’t fit you anymore… Wait, what’s so funny?" SAYORI: "Ehehe, don’t you see? It means my boobs got bigger again!" How on earth am I meant to reply to that? HISAO: "Uhm...geez, Sayori, d-don’t say that out loud… Aaaanyway, you look a bit better now." Seeing Sayori’s blazer buttoned up like that is weird. SAYORI: "Uwaaa, it’s so stuffy! I told you!" She quickly unbuttons it again. There goes all my hard work… SAYORI: "Much better! Thank you for that, though! Even though I prefer the blazer unbuttoned, it was really thoughtful of you to do this for me! Even if you were a bit of a meanie. I do try, you know…" HISAO: "Ah, I’m sorry. I just want what’s best for you, that’s all. Just try to give yourself a bit more time in the morning, okay? SAYORI: "Only if you promise to stop napping in the club!" I laugh. She got me there. HISAO: "It’s a deal."  MONIKA: "Okay, everyone!" Monika suddenly calls out. MONIKA: "Why don’t we share the poems we wrote now?" SAYORI: "Yay!~ I can’t wait to read yours, Hisao!" HISAO: "Don’t expect too much, Sayori…" MONIKA: "By the way, you did remember to write a poem, right?" HISAO: "Don't worry, I'm not that much of a slacker. I've got it right here in my bag." I rifle through some stray papers to pull out the page that I wrote my poem on. While I can't help but feel a little nervous, I have to admit that I'm excited now. Talking to these girls has really calmed my nerves, and now I'm just eager to share my poem. After all, judging by each girl's personality, I doubt that anyone would say anything nasty about it. Well, Natsuki...I don't know if she'd be unduly harsh though; she just seems like the type of person who enjoys ribbing on her friends. Either way, I hope they realize that I put hard work into it. I figured that it'd only be fair to repay their warm welcome by showing effort in club activities. MONIKA: "Now that everyone's ready, why don't you find someone to share with?" SAYORI: "I can't wait~!" Sayori and Monika enthusiastically pull out their poems. Sayori's is on a wrinkled sheet of loose leaf torn from a spiral notebook. On the other hand, Monika wrote hers in a neat, black composition notebook. I can already see Monika's pristine handwriting from where I sit...she's going to put us all to shame. Natsuki and Yuri reluctantly comply as well, reaching into their bags.  Whom should I show my poem to first? >Sayori >Natsuki >Yuri >Monika We never get to see our poem, which sucks. I know it would’ve been Mad Libs at best and word salad at worst, but I wish we could’ve seen how the game assembled a poem that included both “effervescent” and “doki-doki”. Ah well, at least everyone else in the club gets to look at it. Each poem gets a round robin where we run it by the three main girls (and Monika) and get a positive, negative, or neutral reaction from the depending on which words we chose. What those reactions look like varies, but the game’s pretty good about making it clear which one you got – it’s how you track what kind of progress you’re making. I’ll be showing all these reactions off eventually, but in this loop we’re covering Sayori’s good reactions, Natsuki’s meh reactions, and Yuri’s bad reactions. =>Sayori I'm definitely most comfortable sharing it with Sayori first. She's my good friend, after all.  SAYORI: "Wow, Hisao! This is soooo good! Seriously, this is your first poem?" HISAO: "Huh? It’s not that good, geez…" SAYORI: "Seriously, it is! I love it! I had no idea you were such a good poet!" HISAO: "Sayori, you’re overreacting a bit. It’s really nothing special." SAYORI: "Trust me, it is! How did you write it?" HISAO: "Huh? What d’ya mean?" SAYORI: "Like uhm...what did you think of while you wrote this?" HISAO: "Hm...this is gonna sound a bit weird, but I uh… I thought of you?" She gives me a brief look of disbelief, a faint blush on her cheeks. SAYORI: "M-Me?" HISAO: "Yeah uh...hey, not in like, a weird way or anything! I just thought of words that reminded me of you, and went along with that. It just felt kinda natural doing it that way, I guess." SAYORI: "Well if it works, it works! Looks like this club really is the best place for you." HISAO: "Well I’m glad you liked it, Sayori. Good to know I’m not totally in over my head here, haha."  SAYORI: "..." She looks at me for a moment, not saying anything. There’s a few moments of an odd silence. HISAO: "Uh, earth to Sayori?" She jumps slightly. SAYORI: "Sorry, sorry! I’m just not used to seeing you around again, that’s all~ To have you in the club, writing poems… It’s lovely, though! It just takes a little getting used to." HISAO: "Ah, yeah that’s understandable… I’m a bit surprised myself, to be honest. But I’m enjoying it here so far.” SAYORI: "That’s good to hear! Do you want to read my poem now? I’m not very good though…" HISAO: "Only one way to find out!" Doki Doki Literature Club! OST Disc 2 - 02 Okay, Everyone! (Sayori) God, these soundtracks. DDLC may only have a dozen or so tracks, but half of them have variations for each main character (Sayori’s into the ukulele). I have to track down the right ones across three separate albums Anyway, after they read our poems, we get to read theirs.  Dear Sunshine posted:The way you glow through my blinds in the morning. SAYORI: "Well? What did you think?" I hesitate as I answer. It’s not that it was a bad poem - in fact, it was great - I’m just really inexperienced with poetry, especially feedback. mc "It’s really...you." SAYORI: "What’s that supposed to mean?" HISAO: "As in, the poem just...really reminds me of you. It made me feel really good inside." SAYORI: "Really?" HISAO: "Yeah. I had no idea what to expect, as this is my first time reading your poetry. But the way this was written...I dunno, it feels really wholesome and cheery. Like you are. I also really liked the last line. Trust you of all people to include breakfast in their poems, haha." SAYORI: "Hey, I was eating it when I wro-" Sayori stops speaking immediately, as if she’s accidentally let something slip. HISAO: "Oh, so you wrote the poem this morning?" SAYORI: "Huh? Eeeh...no! Well...maybe… I forgot to write it last night…" HISAO: "Well, at least we know where your inspiration comes from." SAYORI: "Eggs and toast!" HISAO: "Well, I suppose if it sounds silly but it works, then it isn’t silly. Either way, thanks for showing me your poem, Sayori. It was really good." SAYORI: "I’m happy you think so!~ Anyways, next time I won’t forget! Tomorrow’s poem will be even better!" HISAO: "I’ll hold you to that!"  Whom should I show my poem to next? >Natsuki >Yuri >Monika =>Natsuki  NATSUKI: "... Well, it’s about what I expected from someone like you." HISAO: "Is that a good thing or bad thing?" NATSUKI: "What I mean is that it’s just kinda average. Doesn’t really evoke any emotions." HISAO: "So, kinda bland for your tastes?" Natsuki furrows her eyebrows at me. NATSUKI: "My tastes? What’s that supposed to mean, huh?" HISAO: "Oh, nothing." NATSUKI: "Sigh… Well, anyway, guess I’ll show you my poem. Not that you’ll like it or anything…" Normally this would be our opportunity to get more insight into each of these characters by growing them on their poems and watching how they react. But, well, by the time we come back around to them on their routes, we’ll already have forgotten those poems and their content before they became relevant. So, executive decision: I’ll be saving everyone’s poems and reactions for their individual routes to keep it fresh. No, I’m not doing this because the poems, the responses, auxiliary dialogue, and the main script are all stored in different documents and I can’t be assed to cobble all that together over and over again. How dare you say that? How dare you.  Whom should I show my poem to next? >Yuri >Monika =>Yuri  YURI: "... Mm... …" Yuri stares at the poem. A minute passes, more than enough time for her to finish reading. HISAO: "Um...is everything okay?" YURI: "Oh goodness, s-sorry! I know what I want to convey, but I need to find the right words." HISAO: "I understand. Take your time." YURI: "...Okay, I think I know what I want to say. Do you have any prior writing experience?" HISAO: "To be honest… not really. Is it that obvious?" YURI: "U-Um, I don’t mean to be rude, but… I guessed that it might be after reading through it." mc "Ah, so it's that bad." YURI: "No!!" YURI: "...Did I just raise my voice...? Uu, I'm so sorry..."  Yuri buries her face in her hands. I couldn't help but notice that it's been several minutes and we really haven't gotten anywhere. Yuri seems to be incredibly introverted. It must take her a long time to warm up to new people." HISAO: "Don’t worry about it; we all start somewhere, right? What were you saying?" YURI: "Right...umm... I’ve just noticed a few qualities consistent with newer writers that y "Perhaps what stands out the most is that you’ve tried very hard to make the structure of this poem your own... A-And that’s okay! But, if this is the first poem you’ve written, it might be prudent to consider more traditional structures; couplets, sonnets, Haiku, and the like... If you’re not confident in your writing style, it’ll show.” It’s like Yuri is a totally different person once she gets going… She sounds incredibly confident, and stands tall, speaking clearly.  YURI: "Again, that’s not your fault. I think that once you’ve studied poetic structures and techniques a bit more, you’ll be able to put together a truly wonderful composition." HISAO: "I appreciate the feedback, Yuri. It sounds like you’re well versed in this sort of thing. Would it be okay if I took a look at what you’ve written?" YURI: "Oh goodness, of course! Please let me know what you think; I’d be thrilled to explain my process…" Yuri smiles dreamily, as if that's a rare opportunity for her. Which itself is kind of funny... ...After all, isn't this supposed to be a literature club?
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Mar 18, 2022 19:59
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bewilderment posted:Not having played the original feels a bit... weird? It's free and it seems like it would make more sense to be able to point out which bits are coming from references in the original that then get fleshed out in this game. It's the content. Long story short, I have two issues I don't think I could overcome:
Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 17:27 on Mar 21, 2022 |
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Mar 20, 2022 18:13
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Namtab posted:I do agree with the comments that the dialogue is overwritten thus far though. The point of the original was that these four girls are recognisable visual novel cliches due to deep rooted issues that Monika exploits so they become more obvious and pronounced: This LP is really one gigantic die roll. Most of the comments I see strongly hint that the writing flaws we see here get toned down once the writers have the freedom to breathe instead of riffing on what's already there. So far, everything's more or less accurate, but I'm not enthused about the choices they're making and where they're taking the plot. That said: Interviews with Monster Girls: Episode 5: "Snow Woman-chan is Cold" (Pt. 2) As a reminder, check the OP to make sure you’re caught up.   After Yuki calms down, her and Takahashi are discussing how he’d describe her condition.  Takahashi’s the same level of oblivious to the point of being insulting he always gets when demis are involved. Like, she realizes he’s taking some of her frozen sweat and storing it for chemical analysis later. Seriously? Are you really taking a product of someone’s body and hauling it off for medical experimentation without her permission? Especially a member of a protected class… I think that might be a felony. If it isn’t, it should be; that’s the kind of poo poo Henrietta Lack’s descendents are still suing people over. What the gently caress kind of bargain-basement school did you go to where they didn’t teach you the basics of informed consent in medical research? Jesus.  She calls him on this, emphatically, and he’s mostly just confused. He actually calls her cold.  And for the first time, she embraces her status as a snow woman and basically goes “gently caress yeah I am!”   Later, Hikari and Kyouko are looking for Yuki when she runs up to them, all smiles…  … And asks them if they can go out for ice cream.  And so they do. We jump straight to a park, where the three of them are lined up, ice cream in hand. I do like how Hikari and Yuki are using cones while Kyouko’s eating hers out of a bowl in her lap; it’s an obvious adaptation and I wouldn’t expect anything less, but it’s still nice to see.   Yuki and Hikari are kind of awkward around each other right now, especially the latter; turns out she realized she was making Yuki uncomfortable by being physical with her, so she pulled back a bit. Then she faced down those bullies in the bathroom and stood up for her. And she still wants to chew on her neck.   Yuki stiltedly offers Hikari a bite from her ice cream, and she equally stiltedly accepts, leaning in.  And then she realizes she was about to go for her neck and pulls back a bit, gently taking the cone. She’s so distracted by her thoughts she absentmindedly polishes off the whole cone.   Yuki interrupts her apologies and springs a surprise one of her own. Turns out she noticed Hikari pulling back and intuited why she did so, thanking her for her consideration. Hikari starts stumbling again and Yuki interrupts her a second time by saying he’s basically gotten over that issue and now she’s perfectly fine with as much physical contact as Hikari’s interested in.  Hikari’s a little overwhelmed. They embrace and declare themselves friends.   Which means Hikari wants to bite her neck. She quickly clarifies what we covered earlier – a bloodsucking involved, it’s an oral fixation/comfort thing. Yuki graciously accepts.   So Hikari bites down halfway through thanking her and start gnawing, inciting peals of ticklish laughter. Cue the two flailing around with a face on Hikari so exaggerated I laughed out loud when I first saw it.   Kyouko also ends up with her head on Yuki, though she’s simply holding it in her lap. Kyouko’s enjoying the coolness of her hands, Hikari’s on-and-off nibbling on her neck in a dynamic that no doubt dominates the part of the fandom that ships these characters, and Yuki’s enjoying finally establishing meaningful social relationships, her fears of the danger she could pose to others finally vanquished.    And Takahashi, narrating as he walks home from school, lays out how this all dovetails with evolving views of demis overtime. In the bad old days, demis were on the business end of brutal discrimination – of course they didn’t get happy endings and stories, they didn’t get happy endings in real life. But in the more utopian society our characters live in, things don’t have to end that way anymore. Instead they can end with three demis giggling like the schoolgirls they are as he happens to pass by.  Sometime later, Yuki, Kyouko, and Hikari are all eating lunch on the rooftop. Yuki, clearly trying to get to know Hikari a little better, asks what Hikari does when she really needs to chew on something.  Turns out she asks Himari. We get the glimpse of Hikari asking her for something to chew on, and she just holds out her arm while continuing to read her book. She even asks Hikari to turn the page a little while in. I know it’s just a gag, but it’s also nice bit of mutualism; they’ve clearly adapted to each other well enough that Himari can both give her sister what she needs and have her sister help her out in the process. It’s healthy, egalitarian, and very sweet.     Anyway, Takahashi walks out, sees them, and comes up to talk; he notes how nice it is they’ve bonded so closely already. He does note that Yuki’s already dropping their honorifics, though, which is a little TOO into intimate – before referring to Hikari without honorifics, which Yuki assiduously points out. Quick sidebar, even though I bet it’s mostly redundant: in English, honorifics (stuff like Mr. or Dr., say) go before a name to indicate formality and respect. They’re usually seen as a little too formal for casual conversation, though, some casual conversation people usually go by first names. It’s possible to finagle honorifics and their lack to insult somebody (calling someone you don’t know by their first name can come across as condescending and calling them just there last name can be demeaning), they aren’t as omnipresent as suffixes like -san or -chan in Japanese. That language has a whole complicated hierarchy of honorifics so omnipresent even friendly nicknames usually work them in to avoid offense; if somebody’s name begins with “aki”, say, people might call them Acchan or Akkun (depending on gender presentation) instead. Even good friends use surnames with one of the more casual honorifics. Calling someone by their given name alone (like Yuki does for Hikari and Kyouko) is incredibly informal, the kind of thing you reserve for somebody you’re in a relationship with, and Takahashi’s trying to point out how she may be entering into this friendship a little too hard and fast after who knows how long of isolation. Weebery aside, I bring this up because it fits a pattern I’ve noticed popping up in time to time; there is a kind of silent kinship among disabled people. We really do tend to be more honest and quicker to trust each other than abled people, being a little more framed in what we say and a little less likely to mince words. Lots of minorities show this dynamic, actually, and it comes from the unifying power of shared experience. It doesn’t always make it helpful, of course –disabled status doesn’t inherently make someone not an rear end in a top hat or trustworthy – but it usually doesn’t cause much of an issue. Who knows how much thought went into this choice in the writers’ room, but it does dovetail well with reality.  Takahashi and Hikari then kick off an impromptu comedy routine where they compare different ways they can talk to each other. Now, normally I’m a strong sub/dub egalitarian who says both have their place, but I freely acknowledge most dubs aren’t worth the time. Interviews with Monster Girls has a dub, and it sucks. This scene, though, definitely deserves a watch. Either way, they all conclude that him calling her Hikari and her calling him Takahashi or Sensei, informal as it is, the way the two interact really does fit their relationship.  They also discuss whether he should call the rest of them by their first names, too, and Kyouko has a predictably over-the-top positive reaction before politely requesting he go with a standard (surname)-san.   Takahashi curious points out that Hikari refers to other teachers with more standard honorifics, and she’s just like “yeah, but you’re different” (which the other girls agree with). Then he asked what she calls Satou, and she trots out the same kind of cutesy nickname she uses with her friends (who start giggling in the background).  The Two Stooges, passing the background, casually wonder if Yuki was always this upbeat before moving on. They don’t hear what they’re saying, but they do see the, and the girls realize they’re about to be late for PE and dash off.    Yuki awkwardly stops to talk to Takahashi, who tries to refer to her by first name explicitly to see if she’s comfortable with it; she begs off and says basically “you can call me whatever you want”, which baffles him. Meanwhile, the shorter and more forward Stooge approaches Hikari, asking her for the nickname of his own. She politely begs off while telling him she has no idea who he is  . While he’s recovering from that burn, though, Yuki walks up to him, addresses him by name, and thanks him for looking out for her all the way back when she overheated and he helped her get to the nurse’s office. She also apologizes for blowing them off earlier and invites him out to karaoke that evening, which he’s overjoyed to accept.  And then he discovers he was invited along with like half a dozen girls (including the Two Girls Stooges, oddly enough). And so the episode ends. This episode feels a little bittersweet to me. On the one hand, there’s a lot accurate about it – the euphoria of claiming your identity, the bonds of disabled kinship, the way your life just seems to smooth out once you’ve found a way to balance it with your disability. On the other, the way it portrays this transition feels painfully simplified. This switch, this one moment where you come to terms with who you are, has some basis in reality, but it tends to come in flashes and retreat. Maybe it’s because her trauma here is pretty surface-level, but in real life the process of coming to terms with it and embracing who you are is long, rocky, and full of backsliding. I’m happy for Yuki, I just wish her experience was more common. But that’s part of what I’m trying to do in this thread, isn’t it?
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Mar 21, 2022 02:52
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As of this morning, we have another round of openings in the neurodiversity hiring program . We’re looking for entry-level software engineers and operators and offering 70k+ a year, healthcare and benefits, and a neurodivergent-run internal support network. Please PM me if you’re interested in applying and I’ll help you through the process, or check the Discord I linked in the OP; by midday today I will have the full set of announcements and information up for you to use. Applications will remain open through Wednesday and if accepted you will have to attend a next Monday-Thursday (28th-31st) preliminary training/screening session in the afternoon. We are flexible and can accommodate you missing some time if you have to, and if you can’t make it, we will be hiring bimonthly cohorts through the rest of the year so you’ll have your next opportunity at the start of the summer. Best of luck and Godspeed, whatever you choose. Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 21:23 on Mar 21, 2022 |
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Mar 21, 2022 15:22
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Update 5: Exactly! It's fascinating when people can diverge from the creator's original intent to find their own meaning in a work of art Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Okay, Everyone!  Whom should I share my poem with next? >Monika Unlike the other three, Monika only has one response no matter what you put in your poem. =>Monika  MONIKA: "Hi, Hisao! Hope you've been enjoying your time here~" HISAO: "Yeah, definitely. I probably sound like a broken record by now, but everyone's been really welcoming."  MONIKA: "Ahaha, well a broken record isn't so bad when it plays something so nice!" HISAO: "I guess so…" MONIKA: "Anyway, since you're new and everything, feel free to bring up any questions or concerns you might have. It's my duty as president to make sure that everything is perfect." HISAO: "I'd have to say that you've been doing a good job of that already. I doubt that I'll ever have anything to complain about." MONIKA: "Either way… I'm always open to new suggestions for the club as well. So don't be afraid to bring things up, okay?" HISAO: "Alright...I'll keep that in mind." She says that, but it's gonna be a bit intimidating to try to criticize Monika, of all people. I really don't think that there's going to be anything I'll need to speak up about, either. One of the other girls would probably say something before I ever needed too. Natsuki definitely would… MONIKA: "Now that that's out of the way… Feel like sharing your poem with me?" HISAO: "I mean I don't really have a choice in the matter, do I?" MONIKA: "Ahahaha! You shouldn't be thinking like that!" HISAO: "Yeah, I was just joking. Kinda…" MONIKA: "It's alright, Hisao. I get that it's probably really awkward for you to share a creative work when you're just a beginner. Especially since the rest of us have a bit more experience than you do." That's an understatement. MONIKA: "Don't worry though, we're all a little embarrassed today, you know? I don't think many people out there share their poetry on a regular basis. But it's the sort of thing that you get used to pretty quickly once you get it over with." HISAO: "Yeah, that's true." I hand my poem over with a sigh. HISAO: "Don't grade me too harshly." MONIKA: "Ahaha, you'll be fine~" I watch nervously as she quickly scans through my poem. MONIKA: "...Mhm! Interesting poem, Hisao! It has a very mellow, yet emotional feel to it. I didn't know that you were this in tune with your feelings, Hisao~" I can feel my cheeks growing hot at her teasing. HISAO: "E-eh...you think?" MONIKA: "Ahaha, no need to feel so embarrassed about this! Poetry is a very personal thing, so it's not surprising to see you putting your raw emotions down on paper. Actually… You poem reminds me of something Sayori would write." HISAO: "Really? How so?" MONIKA: "I mean, you and Sayori are really good friends, right? It shouldn't be too far fetched for you two to write similarly." HISAO: "Uhm, well I guess you could say we used to be good friends at least… We kinda drifted apart over the years, so I guess it surprises me that we could still have things like this in common." MONIKA: "Hmm, this club is the perfect opportunity to become closer again then, don't you think?" HISAO: "I guess so…" MONIKA: "Anyway, much like yours, Sayori's writing tends to have a gentle feel to it. She often uses her words to quietly meander through her imagination and to explore different emotions. Most of the time, I find that she addresses happiness and sadness in equal amounts, creating a bittersweet tone." HISAO: "Wow, that's kind of unexpected of her." Maybe she's changed more throughout the years than I thought. MONIKA: "I know right? Who knew that someone so happy would enjoy the pain of tragedy as well?" HISAO: "You know, sometimes you sound like Yuri when you talk about poetry."  MONIKA: "Eh, really?" HISAO: "Yeah, I guess you really like it, huh?" MONIKA: "You could say that~ It'd really make me happy if you could get into poetry as well." HISAO: "No pressure, right?" MONIKA: "Ahaha~ For real though, feel free to explore different things and experiment! Maybe you'll find yourself writing in a way you never would've thought you would, just like Sayori does." HISAO: "Yeah, I'm sure I'll end up doing a lot of different things before I settle on my own style. And it'll still take a while before I'm completely comfortable sharing my writing." MONIKA: "That's perfectly fine! In fact, I'd probably be more surprised if you immediately started writing with your own style. Most people go through the same process that you're going through right now. Trying new things is the best way to find the kind of style that suits you, after all. Anyway… When you talk to everyone about it, naturally they'll be a bit biased toward their own kinds of styles... After all, I know I am, ehehe… But don't force yourself to write in some way just because someone else wants you to. You should try to focus on what you want to do. Feel free to ask me for help any time, though! I try to be as objective as possible when I talk to people about these topics~" HISAO: "Thanks, I'll keep that in mind…" MONIKA: "Anyway, do you want to read my poem now? Don't worry, I'm not very good..." HISAO: "You sound pretty confident for someone who claims to not be very good." MONIKA: "Well...that's 'cause I have to sound confident. That doesn't mean I always feel that way, you know?" HISAO: "Always on duty as club president, eh?" MONIKA: "Ehehe…" HISAO: "Well, let's get to reading then." Doki Doki Literature Club! OST Disc 2 - 05 Okay, Everyone! (Monika)  The Box posted:I see, but I don't believe. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Okay, Everyone! MONIKA: "So...what do you think?" HISAO: "Hmm...I don't quite know how to say it… Sorry, I'm not really the right person to ask for feedback..." MONIKA: "Ahaha. It's okay." HISAO: "I definitely get a certain kind of feeling from reading your poem, but I'm not sure how to put it into words." MONIKA: "Mmm, I can understand that. Just try to articulate it however you want; you can use metaphors outside of poetry you know~" HISAO: "Well, when you put it like that… I dunno, I'd say that your poem is kind of...abstract? Very vague, at least. Like, I can't quite tell what exactly you're talking about, but even so, I can feel what the speaker's feeling." MONIKA: "Yeah, I think that that describes my poem pretty well." HISAO: "Eh, really?" MONIKA: "Mhmm, I do like my metaphors, hehe. Well, you'd probably be hard-pressed to find a poem without a metaphor, actually." HISAO: "Yeah, they're pretty well covered in English class at least..." MONIKA: "The ability to convey emotions and concepts through words describing things even the writer might never have experienced before... I find that really powerful. When you write metaphorically, it allows the reader to focus on the emotions in the poem." HISAO: "I guess it kind of opens it up for the reader to have their own interpretations?" MONIKA: "Exactly! It's fascinating when people can diverge from the creator's original intent to find their own meaning in a work of art." HISAO: "Mmm, yeah… What was your original intent then?" MONIKA: "Ah…"  MONIKA: "I think it'd be more fun if you tried to figure it out yourself~" HISAO: "Eh… That just makes me more curious now…" MONIKA: "Ahaha! Maybe I'll tell you one day… But for now, here's Monika's Writing Tip of the Day! Sometimes when you're writing a poem - or anything, for that matter - you get too fixated on a specific point... But if you try so hard to make it perfect, then you'll never make any progress. So the best thing to do is to just force yourself to get something down on the paper, and then tidy it up later! Another way to think about it is this: If you keep your pen in the same spot for too long, you'll just get a big dark puddle of ink. So just move your hand, and write whatever's in your heart!" Easier said than done… I get what she's trying to say though - it's better to look back on your work with fresh eyes after you've gotten something down sometimes. MONIKA: "...That's my advice for today! Thanks for listening~" Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Okay, Everyone!  HISAO: "Phew..." I guess that's everyone. I glance around the room. That was surprisingly fun, albeit a bit stressful. I already knew that I wouldn't be able to write to the quality of the girls, but I tried my best... Everyone here is incredibly talented. Well, all the girls at least. Across the room, Sayori and Monika are happily chatting again.  My eyes land on Yuri and Natsuki They gingerly exchange sheets of paper, sharing their respective poems. As I watch, Natsuki breezes through Yuri's poem, her eyes skipping over the words. Meanwhile, Yuri stares at the paper in her hands, smiling sadly. Natsuki quickly hands Yuri her poem back. NATSUKI: "Here, I'm done." YURI: "A-already?" NATSUKI: "Yeah. It's not like it was super hard to read. I'm not illiterate, you know." Huh. It was hard for me to understand, at least. YURI: "... I just want to make sure that you caught all the figurative language that I employed." NATSUKI: "Yeah, I did...it was fancy." YURI: "Ah-- Thanks… However, I believe that you'd enjoy it more if you looked deeper into it…" NATSUKI: "I enjoyed it plenty already. Anyway, are you finished with my poem then?" YURI: "Yes, yours is...cute…" NATSUKI: "Cute…? Didn't you learn anything from our conversation yesterday?!" Yuri looks shocked, regret seeping into her expression. Seems like both girls still hold their own prejudices, despite whatever common ground they have. NATSUKI: "How can it be cute? You're standing there thinking that I haven't read your poem, when it's really you who hasn't read my poem! It's clearly about the push and pull between giving up and trying hard." YURI: "I-I know that! I just meant... The language, I guess..." NATSUKI: "Well, maybe you should look deeper into my poem. Because I use that type of language on purpose." YURI: "I see... But if I may give a suggestion… These more involved subject matters may be better suited to more...complex diction. The art of poetry is deeply intertwined with--" NATSUKI: "Look, I know what you're trying to do, but it won't work on me." YURI: "I-I'm sorry, but I don't quite understand…?" NATSUKI: "Writing in this way doesn't make you look cool or smart, okay? It just makes you look super pretentious. If you write with a thesaurus open next to you, you're just going to alienate everyone. Using all these big words to make up for lack of depth… Poetry isn't about impressing people."  NATSUKI: "So you can just stop." (Silence) Holy crap. I stare wide-eyed at Monika and Sayori, who have now also fallen silent. They stare back at me, looking unsure of what to do. I'm guessing that they don't usually have many arguments in the club. Although tensions between Natsuki and Yuri already seemed kind of high… YURI: "Lack of depth…" NATSUKI: "Yeah, that's right. So if I can give some suggestions now--" YURI: "Excuse me… I appreciate the offer, but I really must ask--" Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Poem Panic!  YURI: "What makes you believe that I'll accept your advice after you've been so rude to me?" NATSUKI: "Huh? Rude? That was just...blunt honesty!" YURI: "You-- Do you ever consider that other people don't hold the same opinions as you?" NATSUKI: "What are you trying to say?" YURI: "... Do I really need to spell it out for you?" NATSUKI: "Yeah, you do! I want to see if you're really going there!" YURI: "The irony…" NATSUKI: "I dare you to say it." YURI: "I…!" Yuri gives a small laugh of disbelief. YURI: "I must thank you, Natsuki. I've never been this angry in my life… It's actually giving me the courage to speak up. Is this why you're angry all the time?" NATSUKI: "Nn…!" SAYORI: "U-um! Guys, we shouldn't--" YURI: "This doesn't involve you!" (At the same time) NATSUKI: “This doesn't involve you!" YURI: "Sayori, please don't rob me of my moment…" NATSUKI: "So this is your moment to shine or something? Strange thing to take pride in, don't you think?" YURI: "No… It's my moment to finally speak my mind. While I still have the strength to…" MONIKA: "Yuri--"  YURI: "Natsuki, have you ever realized how selfish you are?” Suddenly, Yuri seems to be overpowering everyone else in the room. NATSUKI: "W-what?" YURI: "Everything always needs to go your way. You always jump to conclusions and make rash decisions without regard for the consequences. And it's never your fault, is it?" NATSUKI: "Y-you don't know me!" YURI: "No? You don't know me, either. And yet you spoke as if you knew everything about me. Quite simply, you don't. The very fact you don't think that your 'blunt honesty' was incredibly rude just goes to show how narrow-minded you truly are.” NATSUKI: "...!" Seizing her moment, Yuri boldly carries on, disdain dripping from each word. YURI: "I know it must be a difficult concept for you to understand, but the whole world doesn't revolve around you and your manga. So tell me, why should I take advice from someone who can only see their own perspective?" NATSUKI: "Nnn...!" YURI: "Everyone knows it. Monika, Sayori, even Hisao. Don't you remember how hostile you were to Hisao when he first joined us?" NATSUKI: "I wasn't being hostile! We haven't had a new member in a long time! Sorry not sorry for keeping on my toes! And that's how I talk to everyone, not just to Hisao! Am I supposed to change my whole personality to cater to how you think I should be? If Hisao has a problem with my jokes, he can tell me. You don't get to speak for him." Yuri closes her eyes and shakes her head, carrying on as if she didn't hear the outburst. YURI: "Do you really expect a new member to be able to speak up so easily? Not everyone is as unafraid of being a brutish cretin as you." NATSUKI: "Wha--?!" YURI: "The rest of us were so excited to have a new member, but did that thought ever cross your mind? No, you just let your own selfish thoughts dictate your behavior." NATSUKI: "Selfish?! They weren't sel-" YURI: "You could've scared him off. That might've been what you wanted, but what about the rest of us?" NATSUKI: "I just explained myself, for God's sake. But as per usual, you aren't listening. You know, for someone who's been ranting on about how narrow-minded I am, you're pretty...intolerant yourself. There, I used a big word. Do I sound like Shakespeare yet? Am I worthy of your attention now?" Ouch. Both girls really have their claws out… NATSUKI: "Also, Monika and Sayori didn't have any issue with me yesterday. It's just you!” YURI: “Of course they did, Natsuki. They just didn't say anything. Monika is too responsible, and Sayori's too kind… So why don't we ask Hisao then, as the more unbiased spectator?" NATSUKI: "Fine! Hisao, who's right? Me or Yuri?" HISAO: "..." How did I get dragged into this in the first place? I don't even know what they want me to decide on at this point. Should I just ignore all the personal stuff and just talk about their poetry? That's what started the argument, after all... But it's not like I'm a good judge of writing quality, given that I'm just a beginner... I don't think it would be fair for me to take either side either, especially since I'm new here…  Maybe I should defer to one of the club's leaders? >Sayori >Monika We can actually boost our relationship with Monika here by selecting her – I think there’s some left over code hear from her scrapped route – but the value isn’t connected to much. Instead, this choice mostly just lets you give a little boost to Sayori if you like. =>Sayori HISAO: "Uh…" I hate being put on the spot like this. Both Yuri and Natsuki are looking at me. While their hostility isn't aimed at me, I still feel like I'm the target for the anger in their eyes. HISAO: "Guys, I uh…" I gulp nervously as a bead of sweat trickles down my neck. HISAO: "I'm really not the best judge for this. A-After all, I'm new, so…" I'm painfully aware of how weak my voice sounds. Neither girl looks impressed. NATSUKI: "Wow, real help you are." YURI: "Natsuki-" NATSUKI: "Let me guess - blah blah blah, you're being so rude? You're a broken record, Yuri. Shut up." YURI: "Ah, so you're finally realizing how insolent you are? You got there in the end, well done." NATSUKI: "...! You are such a bi-" (Sudden Silence)  SAYORI: "Stop!!" We're all stunned into silence. I've never heard Sayori angry before, and even Natsuki looks taken aback.  Immediately, the anger on Sayori's face is replaced by a flood of tears, the anger giving way to sadness. SAYORI: "Guys, enough of this! Please! You're tearing apart this club! P-Please don't do this. I love this place so much, and you guys are both my friends. I hate it when people fight. It's horrible! This place means s-so much to me. And I know it means a lot t-to you guys as well. So please...can we stop arguing over whose style is better?" Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Daijoubu! SAYORI: "It doesn't even matter! You're both unique, and that's what counts!" Yuri and Natsuki are both looking incredibly ashamed of themselves. I guess neither of them expected that their argument would hurt Sayori so much. That once raging fire has been snuffed out, replaced with smouldering embers. SAYORI: "I really like your simple style, Natsuki! It's so nice to sit down and read a poem that springs to life. And I know the others do as well!" Monika and I nod in earnest, putting a small smile on Natsuki's face. SAYORI: “And Yuri, I'm amazed at how complex and deep your poems are. They're really in depth! But there's no need to argue over which style is better! You can't really compare them, anyway. It depends on what mood you're in." HISAO: "She's right, guys. Sometimes you're just in the mood for something simple. Sometimes you might want something a bit more complex. It's like music, or movies. People like a variety of things. You can't really say that comedy as a genre is 'better' than action, can you? Both types appeal to different things. You wouldn't watch an action movie for the laughs, would you?" I look over to Sayori and give her a reassuring smile. She returns with a watery smile of her own, rubbing her tears away. SAYORI: "You said it, Hisao." She turns to face Yuri and Natsuki once more. SAYORI: "Now, you both said some stuff that was pretty mean… But I know neither of you meant it! Neither of you are narrow-minded! Although it would be nice if you could like each other's stuff a bit more… So could you try doing that a little? Please? For me? For the club?" I can't help but laugh as she puts on puppy dog eyes. I don't think she realizes the right time to use them… NATSUKI: "...Sure. Whatever. I'll try." Yuri takes a deep breath, finally lifting her eyes off the floor. YURI: "...You're right, Sayori. I'll also make more of an effort. And Natsuki?" NATSUKI: "What?" Natsuki still looks quite defiant, as though expecting another insult from Yuri. YURI: "I...apologize for what I said. Your style has its own merits." Natsuki blinks, as though slapped in the face. She clearly wasn't expecting an apology. NATSUKI: "...Meh, it's fine. Don't worry about it. Your style is…" She diverts her eyes downwards once more. NATSUKI: "I guess what I'm trying to say is...you write pretty well. I...shouldn't have said that stuff." YURI: "...Me neither." There's an awkward silence. SAYORI: "That's much better, guys! Thank you for putting your differences aside. We all really appreciate it!" YURI: "I'll go and make some tea..." She rushes off as Natsuki wanders over to the closet. I glance over at Monika. She hasn't said a word throughout the whole argument, which surprised me. MONIKA: "I should've been the one who said all of that." HISAO: "Why didn't you, then?" I wince as the words leave my mouth. They sounded more accusatory than I would've liked. MONIKA: "Well...I know I'm the leader and I run this club, but… I'm not the greatest with people." I frown. If she isn't great with people, how can she run a club? She must've caught the confusion on my face as she hastened to explain. MONIKA: "Sorry, aha. Let me rephrase that. I'm fine with people, it's just their drama that I can't really deal with." HISAO: "Well, that's why you have Sayori, right?" MONIKA: "Mmmhmm. She's an excellent vice-president, able to deal with conflict much better than I can. Which is pretty embarrassing, at least for me. That should've been my duty to deal with, not hers." HISAO: "I don't blame you, seriously. It was pretty tough to get involved. I could barely speak up." MONIKA: "True. But that's exactly the sort of thing that a president should be able to deal with." HISAO: "Nah, c'mon Monika. Don't see it like that. You and Sayori just have different strengths, that's all. I always thought of her as a little ditzy sometimes, but she definitely has a knack for social situations." MONIKA: "Definitely. I'm very grateful to have her as my vice-president." HISAO: "Well, the both of you do a really good job running this place. I know that's a bit of an early assessment… But you know. First impressions and all." She smiles sweetly at me, causing my stomach to knot. MONIKA: "You're too kind, Hisao. I'm glad Sayori brought you along to the club - I really do hope you stick around." HISAO: "Don’t worry, I will." Monika seems like such a genuine person, and she makes a great president, regardless of what she might think. Hopefully I’ll be able to properly get to know her during the school year.  MONIKA: "Okay, everyone! It's just about time for us to leave. How did you all feel about sharing your poetry?" I notice that she carefully avoids mentioning the argument that just occurred. SAYORI: "It was a lot of fun!" YURI: "...Some moments were worth it." NATSUKI: "It was alright. Well, mostly." MONIKA: "Hisao, how about you?" HISAO: "I actually really enjoyed myself. It seems I do like expressing myself through poetry, a lot more than I initially thought."  Everyone looks intently at me, the girls smiling at me… HISAO: "It was really cool getting to see everyone's different writing styles." MONIKA: "That's awesome! In that case, we'll do the same thing tomorrow. And hopefully you learned something from us, too. So your poems will turn out even better!" HISAO: "Aha, yeah..." I think to myself a bit as I begin to pack up. Today I managed to learn a little more about the kinds of poems that everyone likes. With any luck, I'll be able to learn more about the girls as individuals through their themes and messages. I nod to myself, turning to Sayori. HISAO: "Hey, Sayori. Ready to walk home?" SAYORI: "Sure!~" HISAO: "Okay, see you guys tomorrow then!" As we leave the club room, Sayori turns back to wave at the girls. I do the same. Natsuki smiles, then quickly looks away to act like she doesn't care. Yuri awkwardly smiles and nods. And, as expected from the school idol, Monika gives a friendly grin and waves back." 25. Cinnamon - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST HISAO: "Sayori...about what uh, happened earlier…" SAYORI: "Eh? What do you mean?" HISAO: "You know, between Yuri and Natsuki. I remember you told me yesterday that they sometimes bicker but...are all their arguments normally that bad?" I feel a little guilty as I ask her, as I know she doesn't like talking about conflict. There's a slight dip in the cheeriness of her voice as she replies.  SAYORI: "No, not at all! They have their differences, but it's the first time I've ever seen them fight like that… They're both wonderful people, I promise. You don't...hate them or anything, do you?" HISAO: "Oh, not at all. It's only normal for people to argue, I guess. I was just curious; after all, you know them better than I do." Sayori lets out a relieved sigh. SAYORI: "You know, Hisao...it's been so nice seeing you again. I didn't really think we'd get to spend much time with one another again." HISAO: "Yeah, tell me about it. It's been really fun hanging out again. I don't really know when we started drifting, or why." HISAO: "Guess it was just life coming between us?" She nods, looking a little reflective. HISAO: "Still, I'm glad you let me join your club. I'm not going to lie, at first I was a bit doubtful when you told me it was about literature. But hey, I guess it just goes to-" She giggles, and I frown. Did I say something funny? SAYORI: "Ehehe, nice pun. Did you even realize?~" HISAO: "Huh? Pun? …Ah, you mean about the book comment? Ohhh...and this is a Literature Club… Geez, looks like the club's really starting rub off on me, isn't it?" Sayori might be known as a bit of an airhead, but sometimes she can really notice things that others don't. I wonder...what's it really like inside her head?"  SAYORI: "Ah...you haven't changed at all, Hisao. You always knew how to make me laugh." I blush slightly. I’ve never really known how to react to that compliment, especially when it comes from someone of the opposite sex. HISAO: "I’m glad I’m still able to do that, haha. I’ll be honest though, I didn’t think I’d make so many new friends by joining the club." SAYORI: "Well, they’re a really nice bunch! I’m not surprised~" HISAO: "Yeah, a pretty warm welcome." She nods contentedly. HISAO: "Anyway, let’s see what the future holds. I'll see you tomorrow!" SAYORI: "Okay, see ya tomorrow~" These girls are all interesting characters, aren't they? Different personalities and a variety of writing styles. Yet they’re all united under the same club. I briefly wonder how Monika found all of them. In just two days, I feel like I’ve made progress with each member. Getting to know Yuri and Natsuki, actually getting to talk to Monika a little bit… And of course, reuniting with an old friend. I never would've guessed this would all come from joining the club. But hey, I'm not complaining. Let's just hope my writing improves over time so I can write poems to a standard more like theirs. Speaking of which...there's work to be done tonight. Let's do this!
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Mar 21, 2022 17:17
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I was deeply wrong on the timing for the job app. It is only open through the end of Wednesday! Please contact me here or on discord if you need further assistance, it's not a complicated process and I can personally walk you through it if you'd like.Ghost Car posted:Wow, I knew that countries varied on defaulting to subtitles vs. dubbing, but I wasn't aware of overdubbing! That honestly sounds like a nightmare for my particular combination of auditory processing and sensory issues, but for most people it probably comes down mostly to what you're used to, or so I've gleaned from seeing discussions between people from countries with different norms. This kind of discussion is the reason this LP exists I actually prefer both at the same time. I like hearing AND seeing the dialogue, I guess it just helps me process things more easily. Any noise I hear off the screen will get in my way of processing the audio and I periodically glance away from the screen anyway; having both covers the gaps. But then, I read faster than anyone I've ever met, so I can read the subtitles and pay attention to the rest of the scene pretty easily.
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Mar 21, 2022 21:29
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Until early-to-mid-April I'm going to be switching to Monday-Thursday updates instead of MWF. I'm moving across the country and need the extra time, you see. It shouldn't take me too long to settle in but there you are.
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Mar 23, 2022 19:53
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Update 6: Everything is like an adventure to her  Why are you doing on the computer? Go outside so beautiful. 23. Our Next Chapter - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST  Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Dreams Of Love and Literature  Poems again. Same as last time, we go about 2/3 Sayori and 1/3 Natsuki. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Ohayou Sayori!  Just a few days ago, I never would have thought that I'd look forward to an extracurricular so much. But here I am, back for another club meeting and anticipating new antics from everybody. The usual scene awaits me as I step into the clubroom." SAYORI: "Hi Hisao~" HISAO: "Hey, Sayori. Looks like you're in a good mood today." SAYORI: "Ehehe~ I'm just still not used to you being in the club, that's all." HISAO: "Is that so… Well, it’s nice to see you so cheery. Anyway, what’s new?" SAYORI: "Oh, I've got some exciting news!" HISAO: "Eh? What's up?" SAYORI: "Did you know... That the student store sells that new brand of strawberry milk now?! I saw when I passed by on my way here!" Ah...I should've known better than to expect actual news from Sayori. HISAO: "Huh... I don't think I've tried that yet. I dunno, strawberry milk is usually too sweet for me." SAYORI: "Whaaaat? But it goes great with melon bread!" HISAO: "Sayori, you could eat a packet of raw sugar and you'd still say it's not sweet enough." SAYORI: "Hey! That's an exaggeration! Seriously though, it goes really well with bread. The milk is sweet, but it still has that unique, tart strawberry flavor that's eased by the richness of the milk. And when you pair that with fresh bread, the sweetness is spread out even more so that it has just the right amount of flavor." HISAO: "Wow, when did you become Gordon Ramsay?" SAYORI: "Hah! I'm a food expert, so you should trust me on this!" HISAO: "I mean, given how many snacks you eat every day, I don't doubt that you know your food well." SAYORI: "I'm gonna take that as a compliment, you meanie." So I'm a meanie for giving her a compliment? SAYORI: "Anyway! Aren't you hungry now? Talking about food always makes me hungry!" HISAO: "Now that you mention it, maybe a little..." SAYORI: "Great! Let's go to the student store and buy snacks together then!" Ah, now I see what she's playing at. I raise an eyebrow, and Sayori notices." SAYORI: "Ehehe, um, Hisao, why are you looking at me like that?" HISAO: "Well Sayori, I have a nagging suspicion that… You’re only trying to convince me to come because you don’t have any money. And you just want me to buy you a snack." SAYORI: "What? I would never do that!" HISAO: "Oh really? Then let’s see your purse." SAYORI: "Huh?" HISAO: "Your purse. Let’s see it." SAYORI: "Hahaha….Um…" Sayori laughs awkwardly as she pulls out her purse. She opens with it and dumps its contents onto the desks. Two small coins fall out. HISAO: "Tsk tsk tsk!" This little ruse might’ve actually worked had Sayori not pulled it on me numerous times when we were younger. The amount of times she managed to trick me into buying her another ice-cream… I guess some things never change. HISAO: "Nice try, Sayori." SAYORI: "No fair! How did you know?" HISAO: "Aha, now wouldn’t you like to know? Let’s just call it intuition." In response, she sticks her tongue out at me. Typical…  YURI: "Ahaha." Yuri suddenly giggles. HISAO: "Eh?" I didn’t notice she was eavesdropping. Looking over in her direction, I catch her peeking over the top of a book." YURI: "A-Ah! I wasn't listening or anything--! It was just...something in my book..." SAYORI: "Yuriiii… Tell Hisao to let me borrow some money..." YURI: "That's--! That’s none of my business, Sayori. Besides... You should only buy what you can responsibly afford... It’s shameful to manipulate people into doing or buying things for you." HISAO: "..." Wow, isn’t that a little harsh? I’m only messing around with Sayori, after all… YURI: "Ah--! Did I just... I-I didn't mean that!! T-that came out much harsher than I intended… Sorry…I just, well… Uu..." Yuri blushes in embarrassment, looking away from us while playing with a strand of her hair. YURI: "I-I apologize for how I've been acting lately..." It looks like she still might be a bit ashamed of how she acted yesterday. SAYORI: "Ehehe! You know, it's okay to be honest sometimes. You shouldn't always keep things that bother you to yourself." YURI: "That's... There's no way you could think that, after..."  SAYORI: "You were right, though... I shouldn’t trick people into buying me things." HISAO: "Funny how your ten-year-old self didn’t see it that way…" Yuri lets out a small laugh, covering her mouth with her hand. Even the way she laughs is so shy and proper. YURI: "Ah...is this mischievous behavior something Sayori used to display as a child, then?" HISAO: "Oh yeah. Although back then I fell for it, time and time again. You wouldn’t believe how much candy Sayori managed to con me out of…" SAYORI: "Uwaaa! Don’t make me out to be so sneaky, Hisao! Although those candies were soo good…" YURI: "I’m surprised, Sayori. Coming from you...I guess there's a little devil inside all of us, isn’t there?" SAYORI: "Ehehe..." MONIKA: "What’s going on here?" HISAO: "Oh, nothing much. Sayori here was just up to some mischief." MONIKA: "Oh?" HISAO: "Yeah, she tried to trick me into buying her a snack." SAYORI: "Heeeeey! That’s not true!" Monika smiles wryly and turns to me. MONIKA: "I’m assuming this isn’t the first time." HISAO: "Well, you’d be right." We all share a little chuckle at that. Well, everyone except Sayori does. SAYORI: "Hey! You guys are being really mean!" HISAO: "Okay, okay, we’re sorry. But, you did bring this upon yourself." SAYORI: "Yeah, I know… But in my defense, I am really hungry!" NATSUKI: "Well…" Natsuki chimes in. NATSUKI: "If you’re really that hungry… You can have this if you want." She offers up a giant cookie wrapped in plastic. Sayori immediately snatches it out of her hands. SAYORI: "Thank you thank you thank you!" Sayori hugs the cookie. HISAO: "Geez, just eat it..." Sayori rapidly tears open the wrapper and takes a big bite. SAYORI: "Sho good... Mmf--!" Sayori suddenly clasps her hands over her mouth. SAYORI: "I bit my tongue..." NATSUKI: "Ha. You're going through a lot over just one cookie." Natsuki takes a bite of her own cookie. SAYORI: "Ah, yours looks really good too, Natsuki! Can I try it?" NATSUKI: "Geez... Beggars can't be choosers!" SAYORI: "But yours is chocolate..." NATSUKI: "Yeah, why do you think I gave you that one?" SAYORI: "Fine... Still, I'm really happy that you shared this one with me. Ehehe~" Sayori gets out of her seat and goes behind Natsuki, then wraps her arms around her.  NATSUKI: "Ah-- Geez... I get it, I get it." Cookie still in hand, Natsuki reaches up to nudge Sayori off of her. SAYORI: "...Om." Sayori suddenly leans down and takes a bite out of Natsuki's cookie. NATSUKI: "H-Hey!! Did you seriously just do that?!" SAYORI: "Uhuhuhu!" Yuri, Monika and I laugh as well. NATSUKI: "Geez! You're such a kid sometimes! Monika! Can you tell Sayori to quit taking my stuff?" MONIKA: "Sayori, you know you shouldn’t do something like that without permission." Monika scolds Sayori. SAYORI: "I know, I know... I’m sorry Natsuki… But it was soooo good!" NATSUKI: "Hey!” Everyone but Natsuki chuckles." HISAO: "These things happen a lot, Monika?" MONIKA: "A little bit too much, to be honest. Ahaha! Don’t worry, it’s all in good fun." NATSUKI: "Good fun is teasing each other from time to time, NOT stealing food!" MONIKA: "Oh, calm down. It’s no big deal." NATSUKI: "Hmpf." Natsuki pouts in her seat. Sayori has already managed to finish the entire cookie. Meanwhile, Natsuki gets up and heads for the closet, and Yuri is already lost in her book. SAYORI: "Hisao, Hisao!" She suddenly comes up to me. SAYORI: "I need to get some stuff from another classroom. Can you come with me?~" HISAO: "‘Stuff’? What stuff?" SAYORI: "Well, you know how the festival’s right around the corner? Monika was gonna make some posters to advertise it! Sooo, we’ll need to get some crayons, and markers, and glue sticks, that kinda stuff." HISAO: "Ah right. Yeah, I’ll come with you." SAYORI: "Yaaay~ We’ll be back real soon, Monika!" MONIKA: "Ahaha, you seem quite excited about this, Sayori!" SAYORI: "Of course! It’s so much fun exploring empty classrooms! Isn’t that right, Hisao?" HISAO: "Uh…" Monika laughs and nods at us. MONIKA: "Okay - just don’t forget the poster paper." SAYORI: "I won’t! Ready, Hisao?" HISAO: "Uh huh. Let’s go."  Sayori and I exit the clubroom. I follow behind as she hums and skips around the hallway. Honestly..." It feels like I'm taking a kid to the mall or something. Sayori finds pleasure in the simplest things sometimes. Everything is like an adventure to her." HISAO: "Hey, Sayori... What exactly are we doing for the festival, anyway? I'm not sure how you would make an event out of literature..." SAYORI: "Ehehe! Monika and I have it all planned out! Don't you worry~" HISAO: "Is that so...?" SAYORI: "Yup! We're gonna do a poetry performance!" HISAO: "A performance...? Of what kind?" SAYORI: "Well... Everyone is gonna take turns on stage... And recite their favorite poems!" HISAO: "Ah… That sounds... Well uh, not exactly boring, but will people be that interested?" SAYORI: "Hisao! You're not thinking about it the right way at all! It's not just about reading poems... It's about performing them! Like, you say the lines of the poem like..." SAYORI: "Between my feet... The last remaining flower beckons to me. I twist the stem, freeing it from its clinging roots... Caressing the final joyous moment between my fingers. But to what ends have I summoned this joy? For now when I look in every direction... The once-prosperous field before me... Is but a barren wasteland!" SAYORI: "... Like that!!" HISAO: "Wow, Sayori. I had no idea you had that in you." SAYORI: "Huh? What do you mean?" HISAO: "I’ve just never heard you talk like that before." She grimaces. HISAO: "No no, it’s not a bad thing! It was really good! It was just a big contrast from your bubbly self. I’m sure Yuri or Monika would really appreciate it, too." SAYORI: "I’ve been working super hard on that poem! So it’s good to know you liked it, ehehe~ I’m excited for the festival!" HISAO: "Not just because we’ll get to eat loads of stuff, like Natsuki said?" SAYORI: "Hey, meanie! No, not just because of that! Although that is part of it, ehehe. Hey, Hisao, this classroom here is empty. I think we’ll find what we need in here. Let’s start our mission!" Strange choice of words for someone going into a classroom to get art supplies… But hey, that’s Sayori in a nutshell. Living in her own little world. Her childlike enthusiasm is infectious, and brings about a special feeling I forgot I had in me. Some kind of innocent sense of wonder, where even the most mundane of tasks are quests, and walking down the classroom is a magical journey. The two of us enter the classroom. Sayori heads straight to the closet, and I follow. SAYORI: "Let's see what we have in here... ...Crayons!!" Sayori pulls a box full of crayons off the shelf. SAYORI: "They're the best brand, too! They're kind of dirty, though..." Sayori starts pulling various crayons out of the box, reading the color names. HISAO: "Alright, that's one down. Don't get distracted, we still need to find--" SAYORI: "Wait, I'm looking for my favorite color..." HISAO: "Fine, fine... Can you move over so that I can look for the poster paper?" SAYORI: "Ah, I dropped one by accident--" Smack! The screen flashes white. SAYORI: "Kya--!" Sayori bends over and smacks her forehead right into the shelf. She falls to the floor, and the crayons spill all over her lap. SAYORI: "Owowowowow…" HISAO: "Sayori! Are you okay?" SAYORI: "My forehead..." Sayori clutches her forehead. HISAO: "What happened? Did you cut it? Is it bruised, or -" SAYORI: "No no, nothing like that...I think I just bumped it." HISAO: "Geez, Sayori...you really had me worried for a second there." I can’t help but let out a chuckle. This is such a typical thing to happen to Sayori. It’s almost like she’s got ‘clumsy’ written across her forehead. Which, fittingly enough, is where she’s hurt herself." SAYORI: "Heeeey! Why are you laughing, you meanie?" HISAO: "Ah, sorry, sorry! I’m not laughing at you or anything. It’s just...this is so typical of you." SAYORI: "What’s that meant to mean?" HISAO: "Nothing, nothing. Let me see your forehead." Since Sayori is sitting on the floor, I grab her by the waist and pull her out of the closet. HISAO: "You have to move your hands, Sayori..." SAYORI: "But it hurts..."  HISAO: "I’ll be gentle, I promise. It won’t hurt." Sayori slowly releases her hands from her forehead. I gently brush her bangs to the side.  SAYORI: "Ow--!" HISAO: "Sorry..." There's a huge red mark on the center of her forehead. A bump is starting to form, as well." HISAO: "Ah, don’t worry. It’s not that bad." SAYORI: "But it really hurts…" Her whimpering triggers a really strong protective instinct I didn’t know I had. HISAO: "Hey, I’ll get you some ice. It’ll keep the swelling down, and it should relieve a bit of the pain. Just stay here, okay? I’ll be back as soon as I can. Uhm...actually, where would I find some ice?" Think, Hisao, think! HISAO: "I got it! A cold drink should do the trick." SAYORI: "Are you sure? You don’t have to--! I think I make a -- a great unicorn--" Even wincing from the pain, Sayori makes a silly joke. HISAO: "I’m sure you make a great unicorn, but I think I prefer you as a human." SAYORI: "Aww...unicorns are so cool though…" HISAO: "Anyway, I’ll be right back, okay?" SAYORI: "O-Okay..." I pat Sayori on the shoulder and run out into the hallway. (Silence) I locate the nearest vending machine. HISAO: "What should I get...?" I guess it doesn’t really matter because she won’t be drinking it. But I know Sayori likes apple juice, so I purchase that one. In just a moment, I'm already returning to the classroom where I left Sayori. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - My Feelings She has one palm on her forehead and is using the other hand to clumsily scoop crayons back into the box. SAYORI: "At least they were already in the wrong spots before I spilled them..." HISAO: "Here you go." I hand Sayori the bottle of apple juice.  SAYORI: "It's nice and cold..." Sayori opens the cap and starts drinking from it. HISAO: "Sayori, what are you doing?! It's for your forehead, idiot!" SAYORI: "Ah-- Sorry, I forgot~ Ahahaha!" HISAO: "How hard did you hit your head...?" Sayori places the bottle against the bump on her head. Immediately her laughter subsides, replaced by a gasp of pain. SAYORI: "It stings..." HISAO: "I know, I know. I’m sorry. It’ll feel better soon though, I promise. Looks like you cleaned up most of the crayons, so that's good." SAYORI: "Hey, Hisao... This kind of reminds you of growing up, doesn't it...?" HISAO: "Huh? What do you mean?" SAYORI: "You know how we used to play outside all the time... I would always try to keep up with you. You were kind of oblivious in some ways... Like I usually fell behind or had trouble climbing on the things you did... But sometimes when I tried to do things I couldn't, I would get myself hurt. I’d fall and scrape myself, or get a bump... And I would start crying really hard. And you would rush over as quick as you could. You would try really hard to get me to stop crying. It was almost like you blamed yourself and were afraid of getting in trouble if someone found out... Even though it really wasn't your fault at all, you know?" HISAO: "Ahh, I remember those days. You were always so clumsy. And I guess not much has changed, haha." SAYORI: "Hey! I did this deliberately, you know!" I raise an eyebrow. SAYORI: "I’ve always wanted to be a unicorn…" HISAO: "That has to be perhaps the least believable excuse I’ve heard in a while." SAYORI: "Ehehe, okay, okay...I guess I’ve never really been on the graceful side…" HISAO: "I did always feel bad whenever you got hurt when we played together… Looking back I should’ve been more mindful of what you could and couldn’t do… I guess it’s the same here. If I hadn’t rushed you out of the closet, you probably wouldn’t have hurt yourself. My mother was right. She’d scold me after you got hurt, always telling me I had to be more careful around you." SAYORI: "Hisao... Don’t feel bad about it. It’s my own fault for being so clumsy. Besides, even if I got hurt, those times are still my favorite memories of us. It also made me realize how thoughtful you are." HISAO: "Huh? I wasn’t thoughtful at all, I just got you hurt." SAYORI: "No no, that’s not what I mean. You’re always looking out for me. Even after all these years...you always rush to help me. No matter what the situation...you’re always there to reassure me, and make me feel safe." HISAO: "I don’t really do this kind of thing all of the time… It’s just around you, it feels natural, I guess? I just do it subconsciously. Before I even know it, I’m treating you like that. Guess it’s what happens when you’ve been friends for so long." SAYORI: "... I don’t know if I’ve told you this before, but I’m really grateful we’re friends, Hisao. I’ll admit, I kinda missed you over the years. We used to hang out a lot. I was surprised when you approached me the other day. I wasn’t really sure what to make of it all at first. But as we got to hang out in the club, share poems, and walk home… I realized that nothing had really changed. Do you think we’ll be like this forever, Hisao?" As much as I want to say yes, there’s no telling how life will be for us during college, or even afterwards. Still, I can be positive, though. HISAO: "I sure hope so, Sayori. It's been this long already, right? I can't imagine you ever changing, so my hopes are up. We haven’t really talked in years, then when we do, it’s just like nothing’s really changed. I think I read somewhere that that’s a sign of a friendship that’s built to last. So here’s hoping." SAYORI: "I hope so too. Ah, I’m so happy…" Sayori has a whimsical expression in her eyes. We remain silent for a moment. Who’d have guessed that such a simple action to get some crayons would’ve resulted in such a heartfelt moment? Then again with Sayori it’s impossible to tell." SAYORI: "Anyway...I guess we should go back... I don't want to worry Monika, you know?" HISAO: "Good luck with that. She's gonna see your forehead either way." SAYORI: "Not if I hide it under my bangs~" Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Daijoubu! fadeout 1.0 Sayori hops to her feet.  SAYORI: "A-Aaahh--!" She clutches her forehead again. HISAO: "Sayori! Don't stand up so fast after hurting yourself!" SAYORI: "Uuu...sorry…" HISAO: "Well, I guess it's too late now... Anyway, let's go." Sayori plays with her bangs to try to "In a moment, we make it back to the clubroom. MONIKA: "Ah, you're back! Good timing, I was just about ready to start with sharing our poems. Eh? Sayori, your forehead..." SAYORI: "I was playing with the crayons and smacked my forehead into the shelf!" HISAO: "..." MONIKA: "..." MONIKA: "Are you okay, Sayori?" SAYORI: "Yeah, I’m fine! Hisao got me a nice cold drink!" MONIKA: "...Right, okay. Glad you’re okay, Sayori. Did you get everything we needed?" SAYORI: "Uh-huh! I have it right-- ...Eh?" Sayori frantically glances around herself. SAYORI: "I...forgot all of the stuff!!" HISAO: "Calm down, Sayori. I have it all right here. I found the poster paper, too." MONIKA: "Ahaha! Sounds like you ended up doing all the work, Hisao." HISAO: "Ah, well, Sayori--" I fail to come up with an excuse for Sayori. SAYORI: "I made it an adventure!" HISAO: "...Yeah, that." MONIKA: "Ahaha, okay, okay. In any case, good work! I'll start working on the posters tonight. Thanks, you two. Are you ready to share your poems?" HISAO: "Guess I should grab mine..." After making sure the crayon box is closed tightly, I return to my seat.
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Mar 24, 2022 20:30
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Disability Corner: The Why-Don’t-You Conversation Forgive me, goons, for I have sinned. I engaged in manipulative behavior to spark a specific response from somebody. It blew up in my face, which serves me right, but I feel compelled to lay out my actions as I seek forgiveness. I won’t name names here because they didn’t do anything wrong and I don’t want them to go down and posterity for this, but a little while ago somebody made a post wondering why I hadn’t gone back and actually played the game; it’s short, free, and might have helped me pick up a few things I was missing. They (fairly) compared it to me sitting in Plato’s cave. My response posted:It's the content. Long story short, I have two issues I don't think I could overcome: Every minority has a complicated relationship with those members of the majority trying to help them out. While we always appreciate help in spirit, the kinds of help on offer can vary in effectiveness, even backfire. This happens all kinds of ways: focusing conversations on their guilt or observations instead of the minority in question, getting bogged down in debates over appropriate language, making or taking over activist organizations and shunting minority members out, ramming through solutions for problems that minority doesn’t really care about, assuming they know more about the issues than somebody who lives with it whether consciously or not, the works. For us, the last two have a habit of meeting and something that I don’t think has a formal name, but I called the why-don’t-you conversation. Every disabled person is familiar with the pattern. At some point in conversation with somebody else, they’ll bring up something they struggle with in their day-to-day life. The other side will then offer some solution, usually off-the-cuff. The first person will dismiss it (with varying levels of politeness), frustrating the second and prompting them to either push back or offer a different solution. What was a friendly chat quickly becomes a debate; party B will go on the offensive, coming up with ideas and pressing any that might stick, while party A keeps swatting things down with increasing frustration. If they both get lucky, party B will eventually come up with something party A likes the sound of, but in my experience that’s actually very rare; usually either party A will knuckle under and reluctantly promise to try something with no intention to follow through, or the conversation will get more and more bitter until one or both just give up and tries to redirect the conversation. Either that or people just storm off, what was once a friendly social interaction having transmogrified into a fight. Party B is usually frustrated and confused. They’re probably not thinking about it this way, but they just attempted to engage in a standard class of social interaction: commiserate with someone over their troubles and offer some support in these trying times. Their advice almost always comes from their personal experience and values, and while sometimes they’re just trying to sell party A their MLM garbage or something, more often than not they’re proposing things they think will actually work. And then party A dismisses or criticizes everything they have to offer. It registers as an unprovoked insult and makes it seem like party A is being unreasonably difficult, so party B responds appropriately. It’s a lovely experience all round that often ends with burned bridges. Party A, of course, had a very different experience. It’s impossible for them to know what party B actually wanted out of the conversation, but whatever they were shooting for, it’s kind of irrelevant. See, however good your intentions, there’s a quiet but profound arrogance to expecting you can offer useful solutions for disability if you don’t share it. This goes beyond intent, reasoning, and empathy to a fundamental misunderstanding of the nature of disability – treating someone’s disability like a one-off health condition instead of a complicated condition with social pressures and expectations behind it. That’s a very treacherous path to take. For many people, catching a cold, breaking a bone, and going through a really gnarly breakup don’t feel much different. I mean, obviously those are all different problems caused by different circumstances, but the lived experience isn’t all that different. First, some outside force (a snotty kid, a bad fall, your loving ex) comes along and causes them harm. Maybe it was preventable (they could’ve avoided the child, they could’ve watched where they were going, they could’ve not thought with their junk), maybe it wasn’t (they caught it from a passing rando, they slipped on black ice, their relationship went down in flames naturally), but either way, it comes on suddenly and it’s here to stay until they heal. Next, they consult a professional (the doctor, the doctor, the love doctor); they already know roughly what’s going on, they just need to make sure the treatments they want to take will actually fit the problem and get their hands on treatments they’d need a specialist to handle. After that, they start using their treatments and wait. During this period, they can still get things done, but the condition makes it way, way harder (they’re sore and exhausted, they have limited range of motion, their emotions are going haywire), but while the treatments don’t fix the problem, they keep the symptoms under control. From here, they have two paths. In one, they keep pushing, trying to act normal despite the problems still hanging in the background. Since they’re not giving whatever it is the chance to heal, they’ll inevitably make it worse until it evolves into something with bigger repercussions (they’ll catch pneumonia, it’ll heal wrong, they’ll swear off relationships). If they do take it easy, use the treatments right, and let the problem heal on its own, though, things go right back to normal. They make a full recovery. Sure, it might have minor negative effects in the long-term; maybe their weakened immune system will let them catch the flu, maybe their limb might be weaker, maybe they’ll have trouble trusting someone else. But more likely they’ll now be immune to that cold strain, know to look out for black ice, or develop better taste. It didn’t kill them, so it made them stronger, and it just becomes another entry in their personal history. If that’s the only way you know how to approach a health condition, of course that’s how you’ll approach somebody’s disability. Of course you’ll try to hustle them along that route; it’s what works for you, it’s what always works, it’s the only way you know how to approach an issue like this, so of course somebody reacting badly won’t make sense to you. It comes from a place of ignorance, but ignorance isn’t malice and it doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, just overzealous. Hell, even other disabled people fall into this trap sometimes. You might get, say, an autistic person why-don’t-youing a deaf person about cochlear implants. Which I did once, and immediately started kicking myself because that’s just embarrassing, come on. Even most disabled people gone through this process successfully before and can unconsciously assume it still holds everywhere. It’s hard to blame you if it’s all you know. Trouble is, by its nature disability makes that process fall apart. Identifying a concrete cause gives you some control over your situation, which in turn makes it psychologically easier to bear; it isn’t as helpful if the causes are so distant and fundamental you can’t come to terms with them or actions most people could just get away with. You can’t really count on doctors if they habitually dismiss your concerns or won’t even let you in the door. Even if you get through to them, the treatments they offer might be ruinously expensive or potentially traumatizing, and sometimes standard medical wisdom might make your condition worse. And, of course, if you have one of the many, many disabilities without a meaningful cure, your body will never “correct” itself no matter what you do. The why-don’t-you conversation springs from that model, and the moment it no longer applies you start getting a lot of question marks. But why-don’t-you conversations aren’t just condescending or unrealistic: they bring social pressures along with it. If you sit down in front of a disabled person and ask them “have you heard of” or “have you tried” or “why don’t you”, whether you realize it or not you’re operating off the assumption that you know something about their disability that they don’t, despite the fact that they live with it every day. That’s a red flag. You are sitting down in front of a member of a minority and talking like they don’t know their own experience better than you do. Who does that? But many people don’t think of us as a minority with any kind of identity or unified experience, just a bunch of individuals with health conditions, so they’ll just move in. That puts us on edge, because we can guess this person just started talking without knowing what the talking about. Then comes the maneuvering. It’d be one thing if these were only polite suggestions we could politely discuss and rationally dismiss if necessary, but that’s usually not the case – remember, despite appearances these suggestions aren’t just stray thoughts, they’re often strongly grounded in personal beliefs or life history. We have to tell people they don’t know what they’re talking about and we don’t intend to listen to them, and that’s a lot to ask at the best of times. And if you do the “nice” thing and promised to take it under advisement? Well… See, “advice with follow-ups on your progress isn’t advice, it’s a command” might seem a little obvious, but a lot of people out there genuinely don’t grasp the distinction, or if they do, they think of themselves as meddlers or busybodies and cheerfully push anyway. We can never know whether a politely phrased suggestion carries real expectations, and we have too much experience watching people break promises that things are otherwise. Buckling under may put us in a position where we have to do something we know is going to backfire or social repercussions. And if the other person is an authority figure, or a loved one, or someone we want to impress? Now we have to choose between hurting ourselves for our relationships. Adding an ulterior motive – political beliefs, something you’re trying to sell – makes it clear you’ll benefit from this dilemma, which makes it even worse. And if it comes from someone who can compel you to follow that advice, like a parent, boss, or caregiver? You may not have the option to refuse without serious consequences. It takes a lot of trust and patience not to get your guard up when you see this coming. Watching a casual chat turn into a social minefield like this is annoying at best and outright dangerous at worst; there are plenty more dramatic ways to piss off and alienate a disabled person, but few are as energy-efficient. Fortunately, why-don’t-you conversations aren’t exactly hard to avoid starting; just stay humble and don’t push. Most of us either don’t want to talk about our disability, or we REALLY want to talk about our disability and if you lend us a genuine ear you won’t get us to shut up about it. Our lives can be hard, but they’re also our lives; we kind of know what we’re doing most of the time. And that’s all you have to keep in mind.
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Mar 26, 2022 18:27
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Update 7: And although their poems may seem to be about one thing at first… With another readthrough, you might find that there's actually a deeper meaning behind the words Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Okay, Everyone!  Whom should I show my poem to? >Sayori >Natsuki >Yuri >Monika =>Sayori  SAYORI: "... Hisao... Your poems are seriously amazing! I can’t believe you never told me how good a poet you were!" HISAO: "Huh? Sayori, I’m really not that great. You’re the only one who likes my poems this much." SAYORI: "Really?" HISAO: "Ah, I guess I’ll be honest with you. I find it easier to write poems when I’m uh...thinking about our memories together." SAYORI: "Eh? R-Really?" HISAO: "Sounds a bit strange, doesn’t it?" I nervously laugh, noticing the blush that’s crept up on Sayori’s cheeks. HISAO: "I dunno, I feel like my life’s kinda...boring? Like whatever happens in it is just literally that. Whereas with you… Well, whenever I look back on our memories. Everything seemed to be such an adventure whenever you were around. Like when we went exploring in that forest near our house, aaaaages ago. You made it seem like it was an exciting adventure, kinda like we were both archaeologists or something. Whereas if I went there myself, I’d just think I was going for a stroll in a forest." I glance over at Sayori. She has a faraway look on her face, wearing a wistful smile. SAYORI: "Ehehe. Yeah, I remember that… I was convinced there were spooky wood trolls out there! Uwaaa…" HISAO: "That’s exactly what I mean. You’ve got such a vivid imagination. And I guess I can tap into that imagination whenever I’m thinking about you. We have this sorta connection. Yeah, I guess that’s what I’m trying to say. And it’s still there, even after all these years." SAYORI: "I think I sorta understand what you mean! Can I ask a favor of you, Hisao?" HISAO: "What’s up?"  SAYORI: "Can I uh...keep this poem? This is um...the first time you’ve written something for me." HISAO: "Errr… Sorry, I don’t mean to be rude or anything but… I didn’t write it for you. But okay, you can keep it. I still don’t think my poetry skills are anything special…" SAYORI: "I can have it? Yay!!! Thank you!" HISAO: "H-hold on, Sayori. Not everyone has read my poem yet, so I think it'd be unfair to give you my poem right now." SAYORI: "Oh, that's true... I should've thought of the others first..." HISAO: "Haha, it's fine. I get that you're just excited. I'll give it to you later, okay?" SAYORI: "Okay!" HISAO: "Anyway. I still need to read yours." SAYORI: "Oh! Ahaha, I totally forgot! It’s nowhere near as good as yours, though…" HISAO: "I’m sure I’ll like it." Doki Doki Literature Club! OST Disc 2 - 02 Okay, Everyone! (Sayori)  Bottles posted:I pop off my scalp like the lid of a cookie jar. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Okay, Everyone! HISAO: "Wow, Sayori. I didn’t expect this at all. Did you really write this?" SAYORI: "Of course I did! Remember, I said I’d write the best poem ever yesterday! Well, here it is! After all, Monika has taught me a lot! And I’ve been really in touch with my feelings recently." HISAO: "So that’s what this poem’s about?" I suppose that much was obvious. Unlike Yuri’s or Monika’s poems, Sayori’s are relatively simple to figure out. HISAO: "So uh, if I’ve interpreted this correctly… You’re basically doing everything you can to keep your friends happy?" SAYORI: "Yaaay, you got it! I really enjoyed writing this one. Just getting your thoughts out onto paper, and turning them into a poem...it’s like magic!" HISAO: "Well, I think it’s amazing. You should be really proud of it." SAYORI: "Aha...thank you Hisao, that means a lot. I didn’t think it was that good though…" HISAO: "Nah, it’s great, seriously." I can’t help but notice that the latter half of the poem isn’t quite as cheery. In fact, it’s somewhat alarming - a very dark contrast from the cheeriness I’m used to with Sayori. HISAO: "Although uh...maybe I’m looking into this a little too much, but the end of the poem is pretty...dark? And you said you’ve been in touch with your feelings recently, so I’m just checking - is everything okay?" SAYORI: "Of course, silly!"  SAYORI: "Remember I said I like bittersweet stuff, right? Stuff that’s not just happy, remember? Or too sad? This is what I mean."  SAYORI: "It’s just my writing style." HISAO: "Ah okay, that makes sense, I guess. Well either way, I’m glad you’re enjoying writing so much. I hope you keep it up. Good to have a hobby." SAYORI: "Of course! And hopefully you’ll also stick with it. So I look forward to seeing all the poems you write in the future!" Well, no guarantees there. But just from seeing the passion in Sayori’s eyes...it’s hard to be pessimistic. =>Natsuki  Natsuki reads my poem, occasionally glancing up at me from the page. NATSUKI: "...You haven’t done this before, right?" HISAO: "Uh...is that an insult or a compliment." NATSUKI: "N-No! I mean, uh… It’s not what I expected from someone like you… So I thought you’ve maybe did this before." HISAO: "Well, no, I’ve never written poems before... But why do you ask? Better than what you expected?" I grin smugly as Natsuki fumbles her words. NATSUKI: "D-Don’t get the wrong idea! It was better than yesterday's, yeah, but… Y-You just got lucky! You won’t always be able to write something like this again. But… Maybe if you learned from a pro, your odds of success would increase!" HISAO: "Haha, alright then, let’s see your poem." NATSUKI: "Read it and weep!" Welp, looks like I did a couple things wrong here. Firstly, and most egregiously, I badly misread the code. I may have access to the script, but I’m only reading an update or two ahead not to spoil the surprises. I thought there were only three results for each owner, but I underestimated the developers; turns out they have a variety of results for each character after each poem, heavily influenced by how past poems have been received. Secondly, I think I had the word threshold wrong for the results. Note to self: eight of a character’s words will get you her good reaction. =>Yuri  YURI: "...I-I’m sorry if I’ve offended you…?" HISAO: "Eh?!" YURI: "I said that Sayori’s writing style wasn’t the best... But it seems that you prefer that style to mine. So in a way... I was saying that your writing style is bad as well!" HISAO: "Yuri, that’s a bit of a leap…" YURI: "I hope you can f-forgive me..." HISAO: "Yuri... It’s okay for you to have an opinion. That doesn’t make you evil..." YURI: "I should have known this would happen… If I try to prepare my words, I just sound awkward and weird. But if I just try to speak my mind, I come off as unfiltered, and people dislike me anyway... So...please don't force yourself to be around me. I know this is what Monika wants. But it’s clear that you’d be happier if you spent more time around the others..." HISAO: "Yuri--" YURI: "Please... You don’t have to pity me, i-it’s okay... Besides... I have my books with me. They’ll never abandon me, or leave me alone. They’re…all I’ve ever needed, anyway…" HISAO: "..." Yuri "I really didn’t mean to upset her, but no matter what I say, she won’t listen to me. She really seems to think I hate her, although that couldn’t be further from the truth. I sigh to myself. All I can do is accept that that's how she is. If she actually wants to be alone, I’ll have to respect that request and leave her be." On the flipside, I didn’t anticipate too bad reactions in a row would work out like THIS. She doesn’t even share her poem with us or anything, her route is just closed off. Well, them’s the breaks  =>Monika  MONIKA: "Hi again, Hisao! I'm trusting that the club's been doing you well?" HISAO: "Same answer as yesterday." MONIKA: "Ehehe, that's nice to hear. So how's the writing going?" HISAO: "Alright, I guess..." MONIKA: "Just "alright,” hmm?" HISAO: "No, I guess I should say that it's revolutionized my world and brought color into my previously lifeless, er, life." Well, I say that, but the club, if not the poetry, really has made my days more interesting. MONIKA: "Okay, okay. Can it with the sarcasm, mister. At least you're not hating it though, right?" HISAO: "Nah, it's been an interesting experience at least. Gives me a new hobby to do." MONIKA: "I'm happy that you're applying yourself at least. Maybe soon you'll come up with a masterpiece!" HISAO: "Ahaha, I wouldn't count on that..." MONIKA: "You never know! Want to share what you wrote for today?" HISAO: "Sure... Here you go." I give my poem to Monika. MONIKA: "..." MONIKA: "I can see that you put in some good effort there. Very sincere poem, once again. And very similar to Sayori's poetry. You might still have more in common with her than you think." HISAO: "Hmm, maybe. It's easier to write about from my heart when I'm thinking about nostalgic things. So that might be it." MONIKA: "Ah, writing poetry while wearing rose tinted glasses, then?" HISAO: "Well, it's not like I do it intentionally… That's just how my brain works." MONIKA: "Poetry can be seen as another way to express your inner emotions. A way that you can use when ordinary prose can't quite describe what's in your mind. So writing about how your long lost childhood friend makes you feel is just as valid as, say… Writing about how the human condition is inherently full of conflict." HISAO: "I'm guessing that the latter is more of a Yuri poem?" MONIKA: "You might think that… But actually, a style like Sayori's could still fit that theme just as well." HISAO: "Really? How do you figure?" MONIKA: "Well, first off, have you ever heard of the poet Robert Frost?" HISAO: "I think I have, probably in an English class somewhere." MONIKA: "I wouldn't be surprised if you learned about him in class. He's an incredibly famous American poet, after all. Anyway, it's easy to recognize his poetry, since he always used classic meters and tons of monologues and dialogues. He was also pretty fond of themes centering around nature and New England." HISAO: "Hmm… Correct me if I'm wrong, but that doesn't really sound anything like Sayori's poetry." MONIKA: "No, you're actually right. She doesn't have the lyricism that Frost has, and not too many of their themes intersect. I guess that the mood of their poetry is what strikes me as similar. Both of them write incredibly sincere and powerful poems, even though they aren't mind-bogglingly complex or anything. And although their poems may seem to be about one thing at first… With another readthrough, you might find that there's actually a deeper meaning behind the words." HISAO: "That does sound a bit more like Sayori's poetry. Is she really that deep?" MONIKA: "Hisao, you shouldn't underestimate Sayori. In fact, why don't you ask her for another look at her poetry? Then you'll see what I mean." HISAO: "Alright, alright. I'll talk to her about it sometime. But in the meantime… You wanna show me yours? I think it's about time we let your poem shine." MONIKA: "Sure thing, Hisao! I like the way this one turned out, so I hope you do too~" HISAO: "Alright, let's take a look." Doki Doki Literature Club! OST Disc 2 - 05 Okay, Everyone! (Monika)  Pressurized posted:I float there. The poem makes use of whitespace to simulate the feel of spiraling down in ways that Something Awful’s formatting just does not want to preserve. I’ve kept what I can in. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Okay, Everyone! HISAO: "Hm... It's even more abstract than your last one, huh? Really, er-- freeform too, if that's what you call it." MONIKA: "Ahaha... I guess it's just the way I write... I'm sorry if you don't like it." HISAO: "No, I never said that. It's just a kind of thing I've never really seen before, I guess. The other girls don't do this stuff nearly as much as you, at least." MONIKA: "Hmm, yeah, you could say that they're a bit more traditional when it comes to their structure. But I kind of like playing with my space on the paper... Choosing where and how to space your words can totally change the mood of the poem. It's almost like magic. The way I wrote the lines really short makes it feel like they're trying to speak over the noise. It fragments everything, and leaves a dissonant tone with the reader." HISAO: "I see... I guess that there's a lot of things you can do with poetry." MONIKA: "Definitely; poetry is very much an artform. You're meant to craft poems using never before seen combinations of words to interpret the world around you." HISAO: "You really love poetry, huh? Maybe you should write a poem about poetry someday." MONIKA: "Ahaha, that's not a bad idea!" HISAO: "Anyway, it's still hard for me to tell what your poem's about." MONIKA: "Hmm, sometimes asking what a poem is about isn't the right question. A poem can be as abstract as a physical expression of a feeling. Or a conversation with the reader. So putting it that way, not every poem is about something. Anyway..." MONIKA: "Here's Monika's Writing Tip of the Day! Are you ever too shy to share your writing because you're afraid it's not that good? Now, we've all had to experience that at this point with the poetry discussions and all… But it can be really disheartening to get a lukewarm response to something you put so much into. If you find other people who enjoy writing though, then sharing becomes a lot easier! Because instead of just telling you that your writing is good, or okay, or bad... They'll want to focus more on everything that went into it, and the things you can work on. It's much more encouraging that way, and it will make you want to continue improving." Yeah, it definitely is more helpful getting real criticism and feedback rather than just empty words. I guess I've really hit the motherlode with the Literature Club. MONIKA: "...That's my advice for today! Thanks for listening~" Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Doki Doki Literature Club! (Main Theme) MONIKA: "Okay, everyone! We're all done reading each other's poems, right?"  YURI: "Actually... Natsuki and I haven't shared yet." Uh oh. I can feel a storm coming on. Yuri hesitantly approaches Natsuki, who isn't meeting her eyes. Is she still angry with Yuri? It wouldn't be out of character for her to be... And considering Natsuki's poem for today, it's no wonder that she doesn't want to share with Yuri. Judging by Monika and Sayori's anxious expressions, they seem to be thinking along the same lines as I am. I can practically see Natsuki sweating pinballs. Meanwhile, Yuri appears to be blissfully unaware of the situation. I'd convinced Natsuki to reconcile with Yuri, but if she sees Natsuki's poem... Well, it's all over." YURI: "S-so...Natsuki, if I may...?" NATSUKI: "Urk--" YURI: "...?" NATSUKI: "H-how about we do this tomorrow instead? I'm not - er, feeling well. It's my time of the month!" I can practically see Monika internally facepalming. Natsuki must've forgotten that the club isn't all girls anymore..." YURI: "Ah, is that so? I'm sorry, you must feel absolutely terrible if you can't even share your poem today." NATSUKI: "You don't need to apologize, it's not your fault... I can definitely share tomorrow." YURI: "Ah... Well, even if you aren't well enough to share your own poem, would you like to see mine?" NATSUKI: "...?" YURI: "I...umm...wrote it thinking of our argument the other day. I suppose that I wanted to ...As a way of repenting... I-I know that it's not much, but-- Hopefully this can contribute to a reconciliation between us. Although we may have our disagreements, I would like to consider you a friend. …And friends forgive each other... Uuu...I'm sorry if that's presumptuous of me to say..." NATSUKI: "No...it's not presumptuous of you to say that. Because I'd like to consider you a friend too. S-so you can hand over that poem then!" With a shy smile, Yuri hands the sheet of paper in her hands over to Natsuki. As Natsuki reads the poem, her eyes widen. NATSUKI: "You...you're writing using rhyme and stuff? Like me?" YURI: "You could say that you convinced me to practice adding more lyricism to my poetry." Natsuki looks like she's speechless, for once.  NATSUKI: "T-thanks Yuri. It's awesome." YURI: "There's really no need to thank me." NATSUKI: "Well, I'm really glad that I got to know you.”  NATSUKI: “And I'll definitely have something that'll knock your socks off tomorrow!" YURI: "Then I'll be looking forward to that. I do hope that you feel better tomorrow as well, so that you could share your work with me then." NATSUKI: "Hah! Yeah! Of course!" That was a crisis and a half avoided. I'm really glad that Natsuki and Yuri worked things out, and it seems that Monika and Sayori feel the same way." MONIKA: "It's good to see everyone getting along! Now that we are done sharing though, I have something to discuss with you all. There's a great opportunity for expanding the club that's coming up!" NATSUKI: "Is this about the festival?" MONIKA: "You could say that..." NATSUKI: "Ugh. Do we really have to do something? It's only in a few days, so it’s not like we’ll be able to come up with anything good." YURI: "Y-yes, that’s something I’m concerned about as well. With such little time left to prepare, I doubt we’ll be able to put together anything good enough to attract new members." NATSUKI: "Yeah! We’ll just end up embarrassing ourselves!" MONIKA: "Oh, don't worry so much! We're going to keep it simple, okay? Nothing more than a few decorations. I can design some pamphlets to hand out at the event, and Sayori made posters to put up around the school." NATSUKI: "Okay, that's great and all... But that doesn't tell us what we're actually going to be doing for the event." MONIKA: "Sorry, sorry. I'm getting ahead of myself. We’re going to put on a poetry performance!" NATSUKI: "A what?" YURI: "P-p... Um, Monika..." MONIKA: "Everyone’s going to choose one poem to recite out loud! It doesn't have to be written by you, as long as you put your heart into the recitation. Although of course, it'd be great if you could present one you wrote yourself. And the cool part is, we're also going to let anyone else come up and recite their poems too!" SAYORI: "Yeah! I put a thing on the posters that says 'Bring your own poems!' It’s gonna be so cool!" Sayori pulls a poster out of her bag and holds it up for us to see. NATSUKI: "Are you kidding me, Monika? Don’t tell me you started putting those posters up already." MONIKA: "Eh? Well, I did... Do you really think it's that bad of an idea...?" NATSUKI: "Well, you didn’t even ask us before you started advertising! We never agreed to stand up in front of a bunch of random people and perform our poems!" YURI: "I...I agree with Natsuki! I could never...in my life...do something like that..." Imagining it, Yuri shakes her head in fear.  SAYORI: "Guys..." MONIKA: "Yes, let’s please calm down and take a moment to think about it. I understand that you two haven’t had much experience sharing your poems out loud… In fact, we all haven't done that much. …But I still think we should try our best! Look around!" Monika motions to all of us. MONIKA: "We’re all here because we have passion for literature and this club! Don’t you want to share that passion with other people? To inspire them to pursue their inner writer?" SAYORI: "Yeah! It’s all about exploring yourself and trying new things, all while having fun!" Monika and I nod our heads in agreement. Natsuki and Yuri, on the other hand, remain silent. Guess that means it’s my turn to say something. HISAO: "I mean, I don’t think it’s that much to ask… As Monika said, we’re all here cause we care about the club and want to see it flourish. And if all that means is a two minute poetry performance, then I think we can manage." Sayori and Monika’s faces light up as I finish speaking. NATSUKI: "Hey, it isn’t like we don’t care about the club! It’s just… Do we really have to perform? You know how hard it is to get new members. It’s because people are just narrow-minded jerks...they don’t even give literature a chance! Who’s to say this festival will be any different?" YURI: "I-I’m inclined to agree with Natsuki. I’m sorry, Monika, I know how much you want to do this, but...I just can’t imagine performing in front of a crowd of strangers." Well, at least Yuri and Natsuki have proven they can agree on something… Monika sighs, her eyes closed as she rubs her temples. MONIKA: "Look, guys, I know you’re anxious. I understand that, I really do. To be honest with you, I’m a little bit nervous myself, ahaha… After all, it’s my club, so people are going to judge me the most if our performance doesn’t go well. Natsuki, if it makes you feel any better, a few of my friends will be coming along. They’re lovely people! They won’t judge you for your tastes. I’ve known them for a few years, trust me." Natsuki huffs, turning away. She doesn’t look particularly convinced. MONIKA: "And Yuri...I know it’s a scary thought. But I’ve thought of a way to ease you into it." YURI: "Hmm?" MONIKA: "Why don’t we start by practicing our poems to each other in the club?" NATSUKI: "N-N-No way!!" YURI: "Monika...! This is too sudden...!" MONIKA: "Well, if you can't recite your poem in front of the club, how do you expect to do it in front of strangers?" YURI: "B-but..." NATSUKI: "Monika! There’s just gotta be something else we can do." Yuri nods vigorously at Natsuki’s words, anxiety written all over her face. SAYORI: "But guys!!-" MONIKA: "No, Sayori. It’s okay. If you guys really think we can do better than a poetry performance, then I’ll gladly go along with an alternative... So, any ideas?" An awkward silence fills the room. We all glance at each other anxiously before Sayori finally speaks up. SAYORI: "Ooo! We could-" Sayori stops and thinks to herself for a moment. SAYORI: "Wait no, nevermind… That wouldn’t work…" Once again, the room falls silent. MONIKA: "Well then… I guess we can’t come up with something different after all, ahaha!" Monika laughs, attempting to ease the tension in the room. MONIKA: "I know you guys might not be the most on board with this idea, but I think it’s our best option. Please guys, please?" NATSUKI: "Can you stop pressuring us?" I’m honestly surprised Natsuki’s putting up such a resistance. I knew she was a little hot-headed, but even still. MONIKA: "I’m not pressuring you, Natsuki!" Both of them have raised their voice. Yuri looks a little startled, and Sayori looks anxious to intervene. SAYORI: "Uwaaa, guys! Please, there’s no need to get angry! Can’t we just discuss this normally?" Monika reflects on Sayori’s words, looking a little ashamed of her outburst. MONIKA: "Ah, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to raise my voice. It’s just...this festival is important to me, that’s all. Ever since I created this club, I’ve always wanted to show other people. Natsuki, Yuri. I imagine you were both a little apprehensive when Hisao joined, right? After all, he was an unfamiliar face." She smiles warmly at me. MONIKA: "But look, he’s integrating really well. He’s made the effort to get to know us and our individual writing styles." She turns to Yuri. MONIKA: "And Yuri - remember at the start, when he asked you for a book recommendation?" Yuri nods, and Monika shoots her a knowing smile. MONIKA: "Must’ve been lovely, being able to share a book you’re so passionate about with a new person, right?" YURI: "Yes, it was enjoyable discussing it with you, Hisao." HISAO: "Yeah, likewise! It isn’t something I’d normally read, so without you it would’ve gone by unnoticed." MONIKA: "See, guys? Maybe we’ll find more people who’re just as into horror, Yuri. More like-minded people...now come on, tell me that isn’t an appealing idea?" YURI: "Yes, of course. But really, my biggest issue is with the actual performance aspect of the festival..." MONIKA: "Well, like I said - I know it’s a scary thought, performing in front of a bunch of strangers. But trust me when I say I have full faith in you. In all of you. Your poems are amazing, guys! I just know people will love them. It’s almost criminal not to return, So, what do you think, guys? For me? For us?" NATSUKI: "Ugh, fine! I still don’t think this is a good idea, but fine, I’ll do it. Just stop guilt tripping us!" Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 01:59 on Mar 30, 2022 |
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Mar 29, 2022 02:05
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 The script has all kinds of whitespace and strange formatting that make it impossible to edit directly; I have to dump all the formatting to get it to work. Unfortunately, for some reason I also lose the ends of lines sometimes and sometimes something catches and I get dumb errors like that.
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Mar 30, 2022 01:57
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Update 8: I’m impressed, and judging by a quick glance around me, so is everyone else.  Huh? My watch stopped working… Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Doki Doki Literature Club! (Main Theme) MONIKA: "Phew… Thanks Natsuki. And you, Yuri?" Yuri nervously glances at each of our expectant faces. YURI: "But Monika...what if people start...ah, being inconsiderate, and disturb us, or laugh?" I’m not surprised Yuri is worried about this. MONIKA: "Oh, don’t you worry. If anyone steps out of line, I’ll put a swift stop to that." She has a stern glint in her eye, and I have to repress a shiver. I’m glad she’s with us… Yuri looks somewhat relieved, but it’s clear she’s still worried. She swallows and nods. YURI: "I...suppose I don’t really have a choice, do I?" I shake my head. YURI: "Ok… I’ll do it…" SAYORI: "Yay! That’s everyone! You’re the best, Yuri!" YURI: "This club is seriously going to be the death of me…" MONIKA: "I know you'll do great Yuri, just trust me. But anyway, let's move back onto the main event! While we have time, I want each of you to choose a poem of yours to practice reciting in front of each other." Yuri and Natsuki exchange uneasy glances but don’t say anything. MONIKA: "Don't worry, I’ll go first so everyone feels a little more comfortable." SAYORI: "Can I go next?" MONIKA: "Ahaha. Of course. Now, let's see..." Monika flips through her notebook, searching for a specific poem.  MONIKA: "Ahh, here we are. The title of this poem is The Way They Fly. Ahem..." Monika begins reciting her poem. Her clear, confident voice fills the room. Her eyes move across the page, in sync with her lips. Every word has the perfect amount of emotion put behind it, making the poem almost come to life - her inflection is extraordinary. I’m impressed, and judging by a quick glance around me, so is everyone else. Sayori looks amazed. Yuri has an intense expression on her face that I don't understand. Even Natsuki’s once sour attitude is replaced by awe. Finally, Monika finishes the recitation. The four of us applaud. Monika takes a breath and smiles. SAYORI: "That...that was so good, Monika!" MONIKA: "Ahaha, thank you very much. I was just hoping to set a good example. Are you ready to go next, Sayori?" SAYORI: "Yep!" Sayori jumps up from her chair and takes Monika’s place at the front of the room." SAYORI: "This poem is called...umm… Uhh…. Uwaaa, how did you do it so easily Monika?!" MONIKA: "Well… Try to imagine you’re alone, like you’re reciting it to yourself. It’s your poem, so it’ll come out best that way." SAYORI: "Hmm… Oh, I think I get it!" Sayori nods to herself.  SAYORI: "Anyway, this poem’s called My Meadow." Sayori begins reciting her poem. It seems as if her soft voice is a perfect match. As for the poem itself - it has a similar tone when compared to her other ones. It’s peaceful, yet sombre at the same time. Bittersweet, you could call it. Hearing the poem in Sayori’s voice almost gives it an entirely new meaning. I think this is what Sayori means when she says she likes my poems. It’s like seeing a whole new side of someone you thought you knew completely." Sayori finishes, and we all applaud. SAYORI: "I did it!" MONIKA: "Yep! Good job!" Sayori beams as she walks back to her seat. MONIKA: "So, who’d like to go next?" Natsuki, Yuri, and I all look at each other nervously. I open my mouth, but Yuri beats me to the punch." YURI: "I-I’ll go!" MONIKA: "Nice! Thanks for showing initiative, Yuri! YURI: "Y-yes..." Yuri rushes over to the podium, clutching a sheet of paper in her hands. YURI: "This poem is called--!" Yuri freezes as she looks up at us. SAYORI: "You can do it, Yuri…"  YURI: "It’s called…Afterimage of a Crimson Eye." Yuri begins to recite her poem. Her voice is shaky at first, but the more she reads, the more confident she becomes. It’s similar to what happens when she gets absorbed in her books. The shy and apprehensive Yuri I’m used to is replaced by a fierce and confident woman. The poem itself is like a maze in its structure, with twists and turns every line... But Yuri is unfazed and enunciates each word with perfect timing. This must be a rare glimpse into the whirling fire Yuri keeps concealed inside her head...! Suddenly, she’s finished. Everyone is stunned. Yuri snaps back into reality and glances around her, as if she bewildered even herself. YURI: "I..." Monika's the first to start applauding. Sheepishly, I follow along, and soon the clubroom is filled with the sound of applause. Yuri ducks her head in embarrassment, a shy smile creeping over her face. MONIKA: "Yuri, that was really good! Like I said, you don't have anything to worry about. Thank you for sharing." YURI: "T-t-thanks..." Guess Yuri’s done for the day. MONIKA: "So, who’d like to go next? Natsuki?" NATSUKI: "Hmph. Why should I go before Hisao? It’s not like I can compare to you guys anyway… Might as well let Hisao lower everyone’s standards before I go…" MONIKA: "Natsuki!" Monika hastens to chastise her, shooting me a sympathizing look. MONIKA: "That was kind of rude, don’t you think? You should apologize to Hisao!" Natsuki’s face turns red as the girls all turn to look at her. I decide to spare Natsuki from the embarrassment. HISAO: "Hey, it’s really no big deal. I’ll end up going at some point anyway. Might as well do it now. Thing is, I don’t have much of a selection to choose from... I'll just have to go with what I wrote for today." Everyone has their eyes on me, making me feel terribly awkward. I take a deep breath. In my head, I repeat to myself the advice Monika gave to Sayori. Try to imagine you’re alone, like you’re reciting it to yourself. Alone…. My house is the first thing that comes to mind when I think of being alone. The scene rapidly develops in my head, like I’m recalling a recent memory. (Silence)  … I’m sitting alone at my desk. The dim light hanging from the ceiling gives a warmth to the room. In front of me is the poem I had just finished, the ink from my pen still fresh on the page. I pick up the notebook and begin reciting it out loud. While I’m not the most confident in it, I still try and put energy into it. I can almost hear my voice echoing off my bedroom walls. ... Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Doki Doki Literature Club! (Main Theme) fadeout 1 As I finish, the sound of applause pulls me out of my daydream. I’m back in the clubroom, standing at the podium while the girls politely applaud my performance. MONIKA: "That was good, Hisao!" HISAO: "I...I guess…" MONIKA: "Oh, don’t be so hard on yourself. I don’t think it’s your writing abilities, but rather your lack of confidence that weighs you down. That's something that'll improve over time, though, so don’t worry!" HISAO: "Yeah...okay. Thanks..." MONIKA: "Alright, then! That just leaves you, Natsuki." NATSUKI: "Yeah, yeah. I'm going." As she says this, Natsuki begrudgingly gets out of her seat and makes her way to the podium. NATSUKI: "The poem is called... It's called... S-stop looking at me!!" MONIKA: "But you're presenting..." NATSUKI: "Hmph... You don't have to stare straight into my soul though..." She takes a moment to compose herself.  NATSUKI: "Anyway...the poem is called Jump." Natsuki takes a breath. While her voice is unenthusiastic, the poem has a surprising amount of energy to it. The rhymes tie into each other seamlessly, creating a flow that moves the poem along at a brisk pace. The words seem to bounce up and down with the rhythm, seemingly making the poem come to life. It’s Natsuki’s signature style, and it works exceptionally well when read out loud. She quickly finishes and huffs as she makes her way back to her seat while we applaud her. MONIKA: "That wasn't so bad, was it?" She stares at her poem blankly for a second before replying. NATSUKI: "Easy for you to say... You'd better not make me do that again." MONIKA: "Um, well… That’s what we’re gonna be doing at the festival so… Do you at least feel confident enough to do it in front of a crowd?" NATSUKI: "Eh. I guess. Not like there’s any other choice… And I guess it’ll be easier doing it in front of other people. I can just put on whatever face I want with strangers. I don't care about what they think of me. But when it's just my friends... It's just...embarrassing. But I still hate the idea that we have to perform..." She mutters that last sentence under her breath. The others probably didn’t even hear it. I knew Natsuki was stubborn, but this is a whole other level. However, it does look like she’s going along with the idea of performing for the festival. Well, at least for now, since she’s basically outvoted and can’t come up with another idea anyway. SAYORI: "Really? That’s a surprise. For me, it’s the other way around. Having all those people looking at you, judging you… Uwah! I don’t like to think about it!" YURI: "I...I can relate to that…" Yuri murmurs quietly. YURI: "The thought of so many eyes observing your every move all at once…" She trails off, shaking her head. NATSUKI: "Well, that's just how it is, so..." Natsuki sighs in frustration. MONIKA: "Well, I guess in that case... You won't have much to worry about for the festival. Speaking of which, I want to thank all of you for performing. It might be difficult, but now that we have a general idea of what it’ll be like, we’ll be able to prepare ourselves! Make sure you pick out a poem and show it to me tomorrow, okay? I'll need to know so I can make the pamphlets over the weekend." HISAO: "Hmm…" I should probably find a different poem to recite. HISAO: "I know you'd prefer it if we used our own poetry, but I'm probably going to pick a poem from a poet I like or something..." MONIKA: "Whatever makes you feel comfortable, Hisao. I'm already pleasantly surprised that you’re putting all this effort into the club." HISAO: "Low expectations, huh?" MONIKA: "Ahaha, more like any effort put in makes me happy in general." "Monika smiles at me, and then turns to smile to everyone else. MONIKA: "That goes for everyone here! Thanks for going along with these last minute plans! Anyway, I think that about does it for today. Let’s still try and write poems for tomorrow, okay? I know the festival’s coming up, but it’s been working out nicely the past few days and I’d like it to continue. Tomorrow we’ll finalize who’s doing what for the festival, and then we’ll have the weekend to prepare. Remember, we have till Monday!" SAYORI: "It’ll be so much fun! I can’t wait!" We all stand up, packing away our things. However, Monika’s voice stops us. MONIKA: "Oh, and guys?" She pauses, twirling a strand of hair in her hand.  MONIKA: "This club truly does mean so much to me, and I really appreciate what you’re willing to do for it. You guys are the best." In typical fashion, Natsuki just rolls her eyes. Yuri smiles timidly, while Sayori wears a hearty smile. NATSUKI: "Ugh, let’s just get it over with. I hope we don’t regret this…" YURI: "That’s okay, Monika. Nothing to thank us for. We really appreciate what you’ve made for us." I can’t help but catch Yuri muttering under her breath after she says this. YURI: "(I can do this, I can do this…)" SAYORI: "Yeah, I love it here! We’ll get to spread this cozy little place to other people!" HISAO: "Yeah, it’s all good, Monika. Alright--" While I’m certainly not as enthusiastic as Monika or Sayori about the festival… If I can pull that little daydream stunt again, I think I’ll be alright. It’s for the sake of the club. Not to mention impressing the girls. Once I’m fully packed up, I walk over to Sayori. HISAO: "Ready to go?" SAYORI: "Yep!" NATSUKI: "Geez, don’t you ever get tired of always walking home with Hisao, Sayori?" HISAO: "Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?" MONIKA: "Oh, don’t mind her. You guys are more adorable than anything." SAYORI: "Ehehe~" HISAO: "Alright, alright. No need to make such a big deal about it." YURI: "It must be a little nice, though..." HISAO: "Umm...yeah, I guess… Ah, geez… Let’s just go already, Sayori." SAYORI: "Okay!" The two of us begin the walk home. A lot has changed in the past few days.  Lost in thought, I don't even notice how quiet Sayori's being until we're almost back home. HISAO: "There's a lot going on in the club now, eh? I'll bet you're thinking about all your new vice-president duties that you'll have to deal with when the club grows bigger." SAYORI: "... E-eh? Ah, yeah..." HISAO: "Anything specific on your mind?" SAYORI: "Mmm...not really. Sorry, did you want to talk?" HISAO: "I mean, we don't have to if you're thinking about stuff." SAYORI: "No, no. It's nice talking to you! Um... I was...thinking about something from earlier."  SAYORI: "It's nice that we...uh... N-nevermind! It's nothing, ehe." HISAO: "You're sounding a little like Yuri right now, haha." SAYORI: "H-huh? Oh, yeah... Well, I guess I just have a question for you, Hisao." HISAO: "What's up?" Sayori clears her throat before speaking.  SAYORI: "So...let's just say that one day, Yuri asked to walk home with you..." HISAO: "Huh?!" SAYORI: "What would you do?" HISAO: "What kind of question is that...? You're kind of putting me on the spot here..." SAYORI: "Ehehe..."  Well... >"I would walk home with Yuri." >”I would still walk home with Sayori." You always get a choice here between whoever you picked first all the way back in like the second update and Sayori, even though Yuri’s apparently not talking to us. =>”I would still walk home with Sayori." HISAO: "Sayori... I’d walk with you, of course!" Sayori pauses for a moment. SAYORI: "Eh?!" She glances at me from the side, before turning away. SAYORI: "B-But... She's so beautiful and smart... SAYORI: “…” HISAO: "Geez..." SAYORI: "Why me?" Her reply surprises me, and I’m not sure how to answer, or what she wants to hear. HISAO: "I already see her in the club every day. Besides, you always seem to really like going home together... I wouldn't just ruin that for you." SAYORI: "You're so silly, Hisao..." She gives me a pained smile. SAYORI: "You think about me too much sometimes. Yuri would deserve it if she wanted it, so..." HISAO: "Sayori, I've already made up my mind. I really can't figure you out sometimes..." SAYORI: "Sorry..." HISAO: "Besides, like I said. I’ve enjoyed catching up with you again. Why would I just change that for another girl? Walking home with you and talking about just...anything. It’s a great throwback." She doesn’t seem as happy as I’d have imagined. I mean, both our childhoods were pleasant. Strange… SAYORI: "Hm..." The conversation trails off. It's kind of a weird thing for Sayori to care so much about... But I want to respect her and keep her happy, too. I reach my house and open the door. 11. Pensive - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST HISAO: "I’m home." ... No response. HISAO: "I’m alone, as usual." I mumble that part to myself. Talking to myself as if I’m the protagonist of a manga or game...I must be going stir crazy. Mom is still out on her business trip. She’s never home anymore… I miss her… But, I don’t blame her for anything. It’s hard enough providing for yourself, let alone a kid. Since I’m alone, I decide to make an instant meal for dinner. Digging through my cabinets, I find some old soup cups. HISAO: "Hmm, miso soup sounds good." I unwrap the packaging, pour in some water, and place the meal in the microwave. While it cooks, my minds wanders back to my performance earlier. That daydream was so vivid, so realistic… Can I really pull off that performance again, but this time in front of a crowd? It wasn’t even that great in the first place. Just doing it in front of the girls was nerve-wracking. Guess I’m not really used to being around people again. ...Maybe that’s it. Thinking about it, I guess I’ve kind of been subconsciously isolating myself from people ever since the divorce. Before it even, in some cases. I wonder when I started shunning myself. Maybe that’s part of why Sayori and I drifted apart over the past few years? It wasn’t intentional or anything, it just happened. At least, I don’t think it was intentional… But I’m glad I got to reconnect with her in the literature club. It’s given me something to do, something to look forward to that isn’t anime or video games. Talking with the girls has made me feel more…appreciated. It’s a nice feeling, something that’s been missing from me ever since the divorce. Maybe that’s why Sayori likes walking home with me. It makes her feel appreciated. HISAO: "Sayori…" The more I think about it, the more concerned for her I get. She said some pretty weird stuff... But, I guess people just have their off days. Maybe she’s just changed a little bit over the years? Pretty normal, right? I’d like to think I’d be able to tell if something was up with her. Although given our recent distance, I’m not so sure. Sure, we’ve started talking again, but there’s a lot of lost time. Maybe that’ll change, and we’ll go back to how we used to. Beep! I hope. 23. Our Next Chapter - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST  Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Dreams Of Love and Literature  This time I’m shooting for something specific – 20 Sayori words. If my calculations are correct, this MIGHT make us skip a couple of character-specific schemes I’m saving for a rainy day; if it doesn’t, we’ll just go through one of them, but I’ll still have a better grasp of how the game works. Either way, day 4 marks the moment when things get underway. We still have plenty more anime bullshit to wade through, but we’re about due for something that’s a little more emotionally charged.
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Mar 31, 2022 23:27
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You know, when I was planning this LP, I was originally going to put up a post today where I pretended I was LPing that one mod where they all play Dungeons and Dragons, but that was before I realized I had to move cross country. Instead of putting the finishing touches on that post, I spent the day braving the trackless wilds of Indiana, deftly maneuvering around the ravening maw of human depravity that is Gary and glitching past Indianapolis to save time. I write this from Lexington, Kentucky, where the scenery is nice, the horses are plentiful, the roadkill is almost as plentiful, the Red Lobsters are fine dining, and the hotel Wi-Fi is hot fiery garbage. I sit here kind of drunk writing a post I might delete tomorrow morning because I forgot that for all the meds I’m taking, the only interaction they have is individually magnifying the effect of the one glass of spiked punch I ordered because six hours of shaking on the road was setting off my tendinitis and I deserve the chance to relax goddamnit. If the next update doesn’t go up Monday, assume I wa blinded by my hubris and the appalachians calmed yet another life as I attempted a crossing; I’ve seen enough Golden Corrals and billboards that quote a bible verse and then cite a different verse that I no longer properly fear death.
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Apr 2, 2022 03:30
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Update 9: In actuality, it’s supposed to represent the last remnants of something lost to the past, and the sense of plaintive longing that comes with it After two years of development. Hopefully, it’ll be worth the wait. As time passes and I gain perspective, I start to realize I may have made a real mistake in what I choose to highlight. See, I THOUGHT I was keeping the narrative focused by cutting out extraneous poems and keeping them in reserve for the routes of the other girls. Turns out that weakened the narrative and kept important character development sealed off arbitrarily. It kind of needs to be there. And I took it out. So now I have to fix that.Anyway, today’s my first day in a new apartment and also a full work day, so I don’t have a whole lot of time to spend hitting on literature nerds. I’ll keep this update short and sweet. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST Disc 2 - 03 Okay, Everyone! (Natsuki) (I hosed the screenshot up and couldn't recover it) Sometimes posted:Some folks are winners, Doki Doki Literature Club! OST Okay, Everyone!  HISAO: “...” NATSUKI: “Told you you’d hate it.” HISAO: “Actually, I like it.” NATSUKI: “What? Don’t just say it’s good because I’m a girl! Be honest!” HISAO: “What? No, it has nothing to do with you being a girl! I genuinely like the poem.” NATSUKI: “R-Really?” HISAO: “Yeah, it’s simple, but still pretty effective.” NATSUKI: “Finally, someone who gets it! People in high school think poetry has to be so formal and vague.”  NATSUKI: But they don’t realize that simple writing is just as effective, if not more! The reader shouldn't have to search for the meaning - that’s just stupid. Besides, the simpler the writing, the more emphasis on wordplay. Like how I made most of the lines start with 'Some.'” HISAO: “Yeah, I noticed that. Made the last couplets seem more...powerful.” NATSUKI: “Yes! That’s exactly what I was going for!” HISAO: “Well, good job then.” NATSUKI: “Ha, didn’t expect that from the youngest of the club, did ya?” HISAO: “Yeah...guess not. Now Yuri. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST Disc 2 - 04 Okay, Everyone! (Yuri)  Tumble posted:Hail falls down like discarded dust Made on line 3 and the second Ever on line 6 are both capitalized in the script. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST Okay, Everyone!  YURI: “... I-I’m sorry if my writing’s a bit illegible… Once my pen touches the page, I-I just… …Want to get my thoughts down…” HISAO: “It’s fine, Yuri. I was able to read it just fine. I wasn't thinking that at all.” YURI: “A-Are you sure? It seemed to take you a while to read it…” HISAO: “Heh, well I guess I don’t see cursive often. But it’s really nice when I do; your writing’s actually quite pretty.” YURI: “I-Is that so…? I’m…glad you think so…” HISAO: “It made your poem stand out even more, as well. mc It’s as though your handwriting fits your word choice, or vice versa.” YURI: “I-It wasn’t too short, was it? I’m used to writing longer pieces, but since this is the first time we’re sharing… I thought it would be easier to share.” HISAO: “That makes sense. Do you mind telling me what it’s about though? I’m not sure I understand…” YURI: “S-Sorry! I didn’t mean to write something confusing!” HISAO: “Oh, it’s not that. I just want to be sure I’m reading it properly.” YURI: “I see...”  YURI: “I suppose from a cursory glance it might not be obvious. But part of what makes poetry magical is how you can conjure up a vivid image with your words. While on the surface it might seem a bit out-there, if you look a little deeper… You might be able to find a deeper meaning hidden amongst the lines, compounded by the metaphors used. For example, the words and images in this poem aren’t meant to be taken at face value… In actuality, it’s supposed to represent the last remnants of something lost to the past, and the sense of plaintive longing that comes with it.” HISAO: “Huh…that’s pretty impressive when you put it that way.” YURI: “O-Oh, I wouldn’t go that far... But…thanks for the compliment. Hopefully during your time here, your understanding of poetry will grow, and these things will come to you naturally.” HISAO: “I’ll do my best. Thank you for sharing with me, Yuri.” YURI: “O-Of course…” Let’s skip to the third day. Remember, at the end of day 2, Natsuki and Yuri got in a shouting match after reading each other’s poems. Natsuki accused Yuri of being pretentious and looking down on others for being less intelligent. Yuri, in turn, finally busted out of her shell and dressed Natsuki down for being presumptuous, selfish, and domineering. Eventually the rest of the club had to step in and separate them. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST Disc 2 - 03 Okay, Everyone! (Natsuki)  Sometimes posted:I don't get why people Doki Doki Literature Club! OST Okay, Everyone!  HISAO: “...” NATSUKI: “So, what do you think?” HISAO: “Uh...I mean it's well written at least.” I'm not sure how I should confront Natsuki about this... But to say that she still holds a grudge from yesterday would be an understatement. God forbid Yuri see this poem... NATSUKI: “Heh, well that's a given. But yeah, you could say that I was inspired. It really felt good to pound out these lines. Poetry's an amazing emotional outlet, you know.” HISAO: “Uh huh...” NATSUKI: “Anyway, I can't wait to show this to her! HISAO: “Wait, hold on.” NATSUKI: “What?” HISAO: “Natsuki, do you really think that this is a good idea?” NATSUKI: “Yeah, well she never tries to see things my way. So why should I?” HISAO: “...I think that that's the wrong way to go about this. Relationships are a two-way street. Both people have to work to make things right. Why don't you try being the bigger person and just talk to her first?” NATSUKI: “But I already know that she's not going to try! She's just always so preoccupied with looking complicated and smart! It's clear to me that she doesn't care if anyone can understand her. Including me...” HISAO: “You can't understand her if you don't even try. She might speak using a more complex vocabulary, and she may have mannerisms that seem strange to you... But from what I've seen of the both of you, she's more similar to you than you might think.” NATSUKI: “E-eh? That's...” HISAO: “Aren't you judging a book by its cover right now?” NATSUKI: “Urk-- Well, whatever.” HISAO: “You can't hold this grudge forever, you know. At least think of Monika and Sayori.” NATSUKI: “Fine! I won't show it to her! HISAO: “I won't be happy until you try to talk to her. She's not going to bite, Natsuki.” NATSUKI: “Ughh... Alright, I get it. I'll try to talk to her some time.” HISAO: “Thanks. You're gonna do the club proud.” NATSUKI: “Shut it! Man, now I have to throw this whole poem out.” HISAO: “You could easily turn that energy away towards more positive things though, right?” NATSUKI: “I guess so... Ugh, I'm just frustrated that my poem's message missed the mark this time. You should always try to make something people can take a message away from. Remember that! Anyway, I’m gonna write good one[sic] tomorrow, so just you wait!” Our first encounter with something approaching ableism here, and… Well, it’s actually well-handled in my opinion, if put through a heavy anime filter. Yuri reminds me a little bit of high school me, but more of some friends and acquaintances I had then and since. Yuri’s affect here, that combination of extreme shyness and powerful anger when someone insists on something you believe is wrong, is both very common among and very dangerous for neurodivergents, especially people with anxiety disorders. I can’t say why it pops up so frequently, but I think it’s what happens when the time you would otherwise spend developing social skills and gets rerouted into areas of personal interest; if trying to socialize just gets you punished for reasons you can’t understand, why not spend that time reading or gaming or drawing or anything else you enjoy, especially if it gets you respect in other areas and it’s something you can take pride in? If these interests overlap with academics in some way, our achievement in that area will often jump ahead, often getting us praise from teachers or parents. The complicated grading systems that modern education functions on can’t really filter out this kind of false positive: yeah, we may be genuinely good in that area, but it comes from spending time on those subjects most kids spend learning skills that benefit them outside the classroom – which grading alone, of course, can’t pick up on. So sometimes we’re put in tracks made for kids with higher natural aptitudes than we really have, end up devoting even more time and energy to keeping up (which costs us even more in the social sphere), come out of schooling with a deeply lopsided skillset, and crash and burn the moment our support system vanishes. It’s one of the main causes of gifted child syndrome and a scourge on our existence. It doesn’t happen to all of us, by any means, but the process can ruin the lives of people caught up in it.I can’t say if Yuki’s in the same boat, but I suspect she is; she certainly has the vocabulary of somebody who reads to satisfy her English teacher. Either way, I highly doubt she actually meant anything by the way she dealt with Natsuki; as far as she’s concerned, Natsuki lashed out at her for little reason and she responded the best she could. I would be surprised if she buries the hatchet the moment they passed everything out. As we’ll see when we get around to her – after all, we pissed her off this time. E: namtab made a great followup point on this: Namtab posted:There’s probably a danger in taking either yuri or natsukis side in this particular argument, or accusing one side of ableism. Remember as well that while Natsuki’s presented as a fairly stereotypical tsundere, she is the victim of nonspecified abuse from her father (likely physical, emotional and neglect). Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 20:34 on Apr 11, 2022 |
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Apr 5, 2022 02:34
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Funktor posted:We miss you! Hope the move went / is going smoothly. I had an update prepped and I forgot to upload it in time . I think this is the first time i missed a scheduled update since I started KS. Goddamnit. I’ll just put it up on Monday to give myself some breathing room; expect this biweekly updates for a week or two more before I finally settle in enough to go triweekly again.The move is going well; I now have most of my vital furniture in place and know my way around the neighborhood. More importantly, now that I’m in place with a lot of the contacts I established in the program, I’ve started receiving invites and outreach from other people affiliated with the program. I can’t understate how welcome this is; I was afraid of ending up isolated, especially with so few spoons left over from the move I knew I wasn’t in a position to reach out on my own. It preserves my sanity on multiple levels. While I’m still relatively new to the scene, if I have advice for anyone looking to get involved in activism, whether as a professional or a volunteer, whether in disability or anywhere else, it’s this: organize. Reach out to other people and organizations, show up at meetings, send out feelers to people you know if you feel safe doing so. Western culture as a whole tends to focus on individuals as sources of change (whether lionizing great leaders and inventors or asking individuals for donations), by nature oppressive social structures magnify the power of some individuals by taking that power away from everyone else. A coherent and internally harmonious mass movement, though, can give a lot of that power back through collective action. I know it’s way harder to do this kind of work than it sounds, ESPECIALLY for us, I can’t understate the kind of heft having a lot of people at your back gives you. At work, every time another department comes sniffing around about setting up a parallel neurodiversity program, I take the time to advertise what community organization’s done for our department and trot out any contacts I have in that department for that reason. But the social impact, the camaraderie, that kind of organization can have on your private life also can’t be underestimated. Being oppressed is isolating, and being among people that understand goes a long way to keeping you stable and motivated. Having a landing pad is amazing, you know? Namtab posted:There’s probably a danger in taking either yuri or natsukis side in this particular argument, or accusing one side of ableism. Remember as well that while Natsuki’s presented as a fairly stereotypical tsundere, she is the victim of nonspecified abuse from her father (likely physical, emotional and neglect). I wrote that post quickly and sloppily (it’s why the screenshots seem to have gotten hosed at some point in the process), so I kind of missed something I should probably have caught. Can I put this right in the post?
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Apr 9, 2022 17:14
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Update 10: Deep down, I know that isn’t the reason. Trying a few new things this update format-wise; let me know if any of it doesn’t land.  Mangos are not literature. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Okay, Everyone!  MONIKA: Aw, man... I'm the last one here! HISAO: Oh, don’t worry about it. Everyone's late from time to time. Besides, you've been working hard, so I think you deserve some slack. MONIKA: I guess so… I’m usually pretty punctual, but I just lost track of the time today! YURI: What made you forget the time? MONIKA: Ah, it's a funny story actually... I recently decided to learn how to play the piano, so I was practicing just now. That's probably why I didn't notice the schoolbell going off. YURI: You can play the piano? That's quite impressive. I've always wanted to play an instrument myself... MONIKA: Aha, it's not as cool as you make it out to be. I've only been playing for a little while, so I've still got a ways to go before I'm any good. You should pick up an instrument too, Yuri! I could definitely see you playing the violin. HISAO: Yeah, that pretty much suits Yuri perfectly. YURI: Ah, the violin is a beautiful instrument... I'm partial to the sound of the flute as well... MONIKA: Mmm, flutes can be calm and elegant, just like you. YURI: U-umm, thank you... HISAO: How's it like to play the piano? MONIKA: It's really an enjoyable instrument to play. Not to mention, I really love how it sounds. One moment it can sound gentle and soothing, the next powerful and full of force. The piano's an instrument that I'm familiar with too. Well, at least somewhat - my father had signed me up for piano lessons when I was younger. He’d been playing it since high school and wanted to pass his passion down to me… But I never really got into it. Considering that, you'd think that I would hate the piano. But for some reason, I find myself internally cheering on Monika. Maybe because it reminds me of my father, in a way. YURI: Monika, you certainly are a talented individual. First starting your own club from the ground up and now picking up piano on a whim… I doubt I’d be able to do that… MONIKA: Oh, don’t say that! Anyone can do amazing things as long as they have a passion for it… Which is why I think we’re all going to do amazing at the festival!  NATSUKI: Ahh! I can’t wait for the festival! It’s gonna be awesome! MONIKA: Natsuki, weren’t you just protesting the festival yesterday? NATSUKI: Well, obviously I meant everything besides our part of the festival. I still don’t like the idea of performing… Monika rolls her eyes. I don’t want to start this whole debate over again either. NATSUKI: But I am looking forward to everything else. It’s a whole day of school where you can just run around and eat till you burst! I can see the eagerness in Natsuki’s eyes. She must really like food. Kinda reminds me of a certain someone… Speaking of which, where is Sayori?  HISAO: Oh, there you are. I walk over to her. As I do, I hear the girls continue to converse behind me. Something about squid….? HISAO: Hey, Sayori. I wave my hand in front of her face. SAYORI: Eh--? HISAO: You're spacing out again. SAYORI: A-Ah... Ehehe, sorry... Don't mind me. You can go talk to everyone else. HISAO: Huh... Are you okay? She forces a smile. It’s not very convincing. SAYORI: Of course I am, silly! Why wouldn’t I be? HISAO: I dunno, you just seem a bit...off, today? Maybe I’m wrong, but… My mind wanders back to what she asked me as we were walking home together. SAYORI: You worry too much, Hisao. I’m fine, seriously! She smiles again, bigger and more genuine. While it seems much more Sayori-like, there’s still something inside me that feels like something’s up. Sayori must’ve noticed, as she hastens to explain. SAYORI: To tell you the truth, I just didn’t get much sleep last night. I’m really tired, so sorry if I’m a little cranky, aha… Seriously though, I’m probably not much fun to hang around with right now. Why don’t you spend some time with the others? I might try and have a little nap… HISAO: Uhm...sure, okay. Just uh...know that if anything’s bothering you, you can talk to me, okay? I’d hate to see you suffering in silence. She nods. SAYORI: Suffering might be a little strong of a word, ehe... HISAO: Ah, well...you know what I mean. Sayori nods again, then shoos me away. I mean, it’s been a good few years since we’ve properly hung out together. Maybe she’s changed? Deep down, I know that isn’t the reason. Still, maybe Monika knows more than I do. After all, she’s the president, right? I timidly approach her. She’s shuffling through some papers at her desk. MONIKA: Hisao! What's up? I decide to just jump right in. There’s no point beating about the bush. HISAO: Hey, so um… Have you...noticed anything wrong with Sayori recently? MONIKA: Wrong? What do you mean? HISAO: I don’t know, it’s just she seems a little downcast today. So do you have any idea why she might be feeling...off? Like, have you seen her act this way before? MONIKA: Hm… No, I can’t say I’ve ever seen her like this before. HISAO: Yeah, she said she’s just feeling tired because she didn’t get much sleep. But to be honest, I’m not buying it. She’s normally upbeat and cheerful - her behavior has been so uncharacteristic. Monika peers across the room at Sayori, who is idly dragging a rubber eraser up and down her desk. Wait, didn’t she say she was going to try and nap? MONIKA: Maybe there is something on her mind... My question, though, is why you’re asking me, Hisao! You’ve certainly known her longer than I have. HISAO: Yeah, well, you’ve spent more time around her recently than I have, with the club and all. MONIKA: I guess so.. HISAO: But I’ve never seen her...dismiss me? Maybe she didn’t exactly dismiss me, but it felt like she just wanted me gone. ...Sorry, I’m just concerned for her…you know? I just wanted to ask if you knew anything, that’s all. MONIKA: No, no... m I appreciate you coming to me. It’s really sweet how concerned you are for her. After all, it's important to me, too. I mean, I'm also friends with her... And I also care about the well-being of my club members, you know? Maybe I'll try talking to her myself... HISAO: Eh? Are you sure that’s a good idea...? She seemed like she wanted to be left alone... MONIKA: Are you sure? m I know you’ve known Sayori for longer than I have, so perhaps you’re right. Still, it’s worth a try. I also have to talk to her about what she wants to do for the festival anyway. HISAO: Oh, alright. Fair enough then. I just hope she’s more receptive to you then she was with me… Monika pauses, studying my worried facial expression. The warmth of her smile reflects in her eyes. MONIKA: You really care about her, don’t you? From what I can gather, you’ve been friends for a while. HISAO: Yeah, we’ve been childhood friends for as long as I can remember. Although before I joined the club, we had been drifting a lot. I hate thinking that she’s been like this before without me around to help her… MONIKA: Hey, I know it’s hard, Hisao. It’s never easy seeing a friend suffer. But for what it’s worth, she’s lucky to have someone so thoughtful looking out for her. Don’t blame yourself for it. You can’t always be there for everyone. I know she’s right, but the feeling of guilt still resides. HISAO: Yeah, I guess... MONIKA: Hey, she’s been a lot happier since you joined the club, you know. HISAO: Huh? Really? MONIKA: Yep! She told me she was kind of surprised at first, as she didn’t expect you to want to join. m But once she got over that, she enjoyed having you around. Anyway...I know it’s hard seeing her like this. I’ll talk to her and see what I can do, okay? She’ll be fine, don’t you worry. I sure hope so. HISAO: Let’s just hope you’re right, Monika. Thank you for everything, by the way. You’ve been a big help. MONIKA: Ahaha, you’re too kind, Hisao. Nothing to thank me for. I watch her kneel down next to Sayori and gently talk to her. But she's keeping her voice so quiet... I sigh and sit myself down. I know Sayori told me not to worry about her, and to have fun with everyone else... But that's impossible to do when she's behaving like this... But there's nothing I can do besides wait for Monika to talk to her. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Okay, Everyone! MONIKA: Okay, everyone! After some time passes, Monika calls out to the clubroom. MONIKA: Why don't we share our poems now? Before I know it, everything is back to normal. Everyone goes to retrieve their poems, and I do the same. I make eye contact with Monika, and she smiles reassuringly at me. I wonder what she was talking about with Sayori... Whom should I show my poem to first? >Sayori >Natsuki >Yuri >Monika =>Sayori SAYORI: I like this one a lot, Hisao. It’s probably your best one so far. HISAO: Ah, well...thanks. I had a feeling you’d like this one in particular. SAYORI: Huh? Why’s that? HISAO: Well, I was thinking of things you like while I was writing it. SAYORI: Really? HISAO: Yeah. I think I connect the most with your writing style. SAYORI: I’m honestly a little surprised. I thought you would’ve preferred the others’. HISAO: Why? SAYORI: My poetry is nothing special, Hisao. Look at Yuri’s, for example. Her style is way more sophisticated. And Natsuki’s is so bouncy and effective. mc Hey, don’t say that! Just because your style is different, it doesn’t mean it’s bad or anything! Your style is unique. Your poems have a really nice sense of innocence and nostalgia to them. I mean, you managed to make me feel nostalgic about a memory I’ve never actually experienced with your Dear Sunshine poem. It made me think of happier times from my childhood. And I really liked that. SAYORI: It made you happy? HISAO: Yup. Your poems put a smile on my face, Sayori. The other girls’ poems are great, don’t get me wrong, but like I said, I connect the most with yours. I hope that cheers you up a little bit. For just a moment, that vacant look of melancholy that’s been plaguing her face disappears as she smiles a genuine smile. SAYORI: Thank you, Hisao. That means more than you can imagine. Hmmm...am I starting to get through to her? Maybe now’s the best time to ask what’s on her mind? HISAO: By the way, Sayori. I’ve been meaning to ask you… But pessimistic thoughts suddenly flood my mind. What if she doesn't feel comfortable talking about it right now? Sayori would probably approach me herself with her concerns, if she felt comfortable doing so. After all, everyone has their off days, right? I guess it’s only normal for her to act a little different from time to time. I don’t want to come across as pushy or demanding, even though I’m concerned for her. With a heavy sigh, I change what I was originally going to ask. HISAO: Have you thought about what you want to do for the festival? Monika said we’d be doing a variety of things for it, such as decorations and poster advertisements. Judging by the relief on Sayori’s face, I’m guessing she initially expected me to probe her further on her behavior. SAYORI: Ehe, it’s funny you mention that. She said she was going to discuss that with everyone today after we’ve all shared our poems. HISAO: Wow, I’m a real psychic, aren’t I? SAYORI: A what? A side kick? HISAO: A psychic, haha. It means someone who can read minds and see into the future. SAYORI: Oh? What am I thinking of then? HISAO: Breakfast? She sticks her tongue out at me. And just like that, the playful banter and lighthearted teasing is back. Maybe I’ve just been worrying too much. It looks like she’s feeling a bit better. ...Right? SAYORI: Well, I guess I can return the favor. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST Disc 2 - 02 Okay, Everyone! (Sayori)  Fairy Tale posted:
Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Okay, Everyone!  SAYORI: So...what did you think? HISAO: Wow, Sayori, I… I had no idea you could write like this. This is something else. Have the others seen this? SAYORI: No, not yet. You’re the first one I’ve shown it to. HISAO: What an honor, eh? So, what’s this one about? From what I can gather, it’s… About someone who tries to keep everyone happy, right? She nods. HISAO: And people liked that, but eventually they kinda… SAYORI: Got used to it. But that’s okay, because at least they were still happy. And this person...the kingdom’s wish - even she gets a little tired from time to time. But as long as everyone’s happy, that’s her job. She’s happy when the others are happy. That’s the most important thing. I look back at the poem, trying to pick up on the more subtle meanings. HISAO: But surely the angel doesn’t have to be alone. People don’t have to depend on just her to be happy. Surely the angel could share the responsibility, right? I dunno, maybe I’m just looking into this a bit too much. I just feel...kinda sorry for her. I blink. Am I seriously empathizing with a fictional angel? Maybe I’m really getting into this poetry thing… SAYORI: Ehehe, I’m glad my poems can get such a reaction out of you, Hisao. I really put a lot of thought into this one last night. And you seemed to pick up on it. With an uncomfortable dawn of realization, it’s become quite clear how this poem relates to Sayori. I’m not going to have much luck questioning that though. HISAO: Well, I hope the angel finds happiness soon. Maybe she should share her burdens with other people. She just might be surprised at how...receptive the people of the kingdom are. SAYORI: But then they’ll be sad! That would be selfish! HISAO: Or maybe...they’ll be happy to give something back to their angel. After all, she was keeping them happy. It’s only fair they get to give something back, right? A shake of the head and a sad smile is my only response. That’s extremely forboding in a few complicated ways. I need to make a mental note here: come back to Update 10 during the route conclusion. Whom should I show my poem next? >Natsuki >Yuri >Monika =>Natsuki NATSUKI: ... This one’s alright. HISAO: Alright? NATSUKI: Yeah. It’s about average. Not amazing, but not terrible. HISAO: Well, I’m at least trying. NATSUKI: I never said you weren’t. This just isn’t my style. HISAO: Alright, nothing wrong with that. People have their opinions. NATSUKI: Yep. n Your poems are kinda like… Decent, I guess is the word. It feels like there’s potential in them, but it just stops short of it. HISAO: Well, any tips to finally reach this ‘potential’ you keep talking about? NATSUKI: Ha! Coming to the pro for tips, are ya? Alright, I’ll help you out this time. ... Natsuki examines my poem once more. NATSUKI: Alright, I think I know what the problem is. It’s your language. It’s mediocre. HISAO: My language…? NATSUKI: Like, the words you use. There’s nothing really special about them. They’re just average words. I think you should use some softer words. Like my poems! HISAO: So I should start writing like you, is what you’re saying? NATSUKI: Well, my poems are the best. Seeing Natsuki so proud of her own work, I can’t help but smile. HISAO: Haha, alright Natsuki. Whatever you say. Let’s see your poem now. NATSUKI: Oh yeah, here. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST Disc 2 - 03 Okay, Everyone! (Natsuki)  Something Happy posted:
Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Okay, Everyone!  NATSUKI: Yeah… I, uhh... You know what this poem is about, right? HISAO: You wrote it for Yuri, right? NATSUKI: I wouldn't say-- Well, actually yeah. I wrote it after seeing how much effort Yuri was putting into changing. I mean, it's only fair after the poem she wrote for me, right? Well, not for me, but... HISAO: Don't worry, I know what you mean. NATSUKI: Anyway, I guess that I was...er... HISAO: You were...? NATSUKI: Shut up. I was childish, alright? I just always get caught up in the moment... It's hard for me to let go of that sort of stuff. But yeah, after writing two negative poems, a positive poem was pretty refreshing. HISAO: I do like the feel of this poem. It really is 'Something Happy,' haha. NATSUKI: Yeah, I mean I was feeling happy when I was writing it, so naturally the mood would be happy. HISAO: The ending is a bit bittersweet though. NATSUKI: Ah, yeah. About that... NATSUKI: Well, I was thinking that Yuri probably has problems that I don't know about. I mean, all people do, right? So I guess the message at the end was that even if we have problems, and even if we're feeling sad... If we look towards our friends we can find happiness. You know, joy in solidarity and stuff. HISAO: Solidarity, eh? That's a very Yuri-ish word. NATSUKI: Well, I was thinking about what Yuri would call it so... And I'm not dumb, you know! I do know 'big' words. I just consciously decide not to use them. HISAO: Alright, alright. I get you. I think Yuri will really appreciate your poem though. NATSUKI: Heh, she better! Whom should I show my poem next? >Yuri >Monika =>Yuri  Yuri glances over at me, but quickly turns away. Perhaps she wants to be left alone for now? I’ll let her come to me if she changes her mind. I failed  . I was hoping that by getting the best result I could for Yuri (without displacing Sayori), I could sway her into showing off her poem, but it turns out that one experience has soured her on us more or less for good. I’ve seen this before – hell I’ve lived it; when anxiety cares away at you in the best situations, sometimes you close yourself off to people who burned you unexpectedly to avoid further pain. Natsuki’s a little different because she challenged Yuri directly, so Yuri felt confident challenging her back; with Hisao, she feels like he’s dismissing or insulting her with no clear cause, and that uncertainty about the situation is a massive anxiety trigger. Time can help with this sort of thing, as can mediators, but I doubt Hisao has the experience and maturity necessary to make use of them. So for now… Well, I’m not writing her off, per se, but I won’t be resting the lens on her much. Maybe next route.  MONIKA: Hi Hisao~ I approach Monika wanting to talk about Sayori with her some more. But she takes control of the conversation before I can say anything, and immediately jumps into club business. MONIKA: This might come as a surprise, but we have a festival coming up soon. HISAO: Oh wow, I never would've guessed. MONIKA: Have you thought about what you want to submit to perform at the festival? HISAO: Well... Being in this club is one thing, but performing in front of a bunch of people......I'll have to give it some more thought. Despite any praise the girls might have given me, I really doubt that my poetry is up to snuff. I'm sure that there's not just a little bias during the poetry discussions… MONIKA: Okay, no pressure! But whatever you do, I'm sure it'll turn out great. You wouldn't want to let down the club, right? She says it with a teasing tone, but a chill runs down my spine when I think about the implications of disappointing everyone. Who knows what Monika would do to me if I betrayed her as her loyal Literature Club subject? MONIKA: Not to mention, I'm also looking forward to seeing your performance. HISAO: Right… That's definitely not something that I can relate to. MONIKA: Ahaha! Don't worry so much, you'll do fine~ After all, you've been doing fine in these poetry discussions so far. HISAO: So you say… MONIKA: Anyway, let's take a look at today's poem! HISAO: Here it is. I let Monika take the poem I'm holding in my hands. But although we're supposed to be discussing poetry right now… I can't help but remain preoccupied by thoughts of Sayori. I'm worried about her, to say the least. It's such an unexpected change that's come over her… Did something happen to her? MONIKA: Hisao? HISAO: Huh? Sorry, did you just call my name? MONIKA: Yeah, twice, actually. You seem like you're a million miles away. What's up? HISAO: Ah, I was just thinking about whatever's happened to Sayori. mc So sorry if I wasn't paying attention… MONIKA: It's fine Hisao, I understand. For what it's worth, you're a good friend for caring so much about her. HISAO: Thanks...I just hope that things can go back to normal soon. MONIKA: Well, my advice to you would be to let her come to you on her own. She'll talk if she wants to talk. I think that you should respect her boundaries. HISAO: You're right...I appreciate the advice, by the way. MONIKA: Of course. I'm always willing to lend a sympathetic ear if you need one. Today might not be the happiest of days for the club. But that's alright. Not every day will be happy. We'll all pull through this, together. HISAO: I hope so… I feel like I shouldn't be going about the club normally. But I think that Sayori probably needs some normalcy right now. So in the end, I try to get the poem sharing back on track. HISAO: Anyway, since we're supposed to be sharing poems right now… MONIKA: Oh, I almost forgot about it myself. Some president I am, huh? Monika quickly whips out her pristine composition notebook. MONIKA: Here's my poem then, alright? HISAO: Thanks. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST Disc 2 - 04 Okay, Everyone! (Monika)  The Box Pt. 2 posted:
Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Okay, Everyone! MONIKA: You know... I feel like looking for answers and contemplating your reality are the sorts of things that give life meaning. Not to get too philosophical or anything... But it was kind of on my mind, so that's what I wrote about. HISAO: I see... mc I never really put much thought into it. MONIKA: In a way, it's almost paradoxical. Because if we had all the answers, wouldn't the world start to lose its meaning? HISAO: You know, there's one thing I noticed... It seems like everyone in the club prefers writing about things that are more sad than happy. How fitting. Somber subjects for a somber day. MONIKA: Ahaha. Are you surprised? I mean, if everything was okay... We wouldn't really have anything to write about, would we? Humans aren't one-dimensional creatures. That's what makes people so interesting. You might think that it would be way better if everyone was happy and uncomplicated all the time… But how would we know what happiness was if it weren't for the sadness to compare it to? HISAO: Hmm, I guess that's true… Even so, I'd rather not see my friends so troubled… MONIKA: Anyway... MONIKA: Here's Monika's Writing Tip of the Day! Do you ever feel discouraged when something you've put a lot of time into doesn't get as much attention as you thought it would? For instance, you could've spent hours and hours on a poem... Only to have your friends barely glance at it when you show it to them. It might make you feel like doing anymore is useless. And the sad truth is, the world is so saturated with creative works already that most people won't receive any attention. At least, relative to the most popular artists and authors. There's actually not much that you can do in that situation besides try your best. However, you also shouldn't think of things in terms of popularity and number of views. The most important thing should be your own personal self-satisfaction. If you're proud of yourself and your work, then I say that that's enough success! ... That was the most depressing Writing Tip of the Day ever… MONIKA: ...That's my advice for today! Thanks for listening~ Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 01:41 on Apr 12, 2022 |
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Apr 11, 2022 22:44
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dear god, i uploaded the wrong update
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Apr 12, 2022 01:42
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Acerbatus posted:I helped write this! I was going to make a post asking you about what kind of research you guys did when I saw you just got perma'd  perfect timing
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Apr 15, 2022 00:41
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Update 11: Ehehe, can’t you see? It means that just because the poet has stopped writing, it doesn’t mean the poem is over! Crop your loving memes. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Doki Doki Literature Club! (Main Theme) MONIKA: Okay, everyone! We’re all done sharing poems, right? In which case, let’s start figuring out what we’re all going to do for the festival! NATSUKI: Ugh, you still remembered… MONIKA: I’ll pretend that I didn’t hear that. Anyway, as I was saying. NATSUKI: Well, I already know what I’m doing! MONIKA: That's right. Natsuki will be making her specialty: cupcakes! But we might need a lot of them, and different flavors... Can you handle that all by yourself, Natsuki? NATSUKI: Challenge accepted! MONIKA: And as for myself... I'm going to be printing and assembling all the poetry pamphlets. Sayori, you mentioned goodie bags earlier, if I remember correctly? SAYORI: Yep. I want to make some goodie bags for everyone...and put in little quotes, bookmarks and candies. MONIKA: Ah yes, that was it. Great idea, people will love that! y Indeed. We’re glad you’re helping, Sayori. SAYORI: Ah, you guys...it’s nothing special. The cupcakes sound amazing, though. NATSUKI: Of course, because I’ll be making them! We all share a collective laugh. MONIKA: How about you, Yuri? YURI: Hmm. Ideally I’d like to do something that could enhance the atmosphere of our performances. I’d like to experiment with some aromatherapy as well, if that’s okay with you? MONIKA: Of course, that’s fine. I’m excited to see what you come up with. You’ve also got beautiful handwriting, so perhaps something that involves that? Yuri ponders for a moment. MONIKA: How about banners and decorations? YURI: Huhu, it’s funny that you mention that. I was just about to say that myself. MONIKA: Ahaha, well great minds think alike, right? She shares a laugh with Yuri and turns to me. MONIKA: Anyway... That just leaves you, Hisao. HISAO: The only club member who's useless. MONIKA: Ahaha! Don't say that. In fact... It looks like all of us have a lot of work to do for the festival. I’m pretty sure I speak for everyone when I say that some help would be much appreciated. Ah...so it’s basically a choice between who to spend my weekend with? Why do I suddenly feel so nervous? YURI: Ah… I suppose...I could use a bit of help… NATSUKI: Not that I really need it, but if you want to help bake stuff I could always just have you do some dirty work. But if you help, you better not sneak a cupcake to eat! YURI: Um... Natsuki, I doubt Hisao will want to help you if you make him out to be a burden. If you don't need any help, I believe he'd be better off assisting someone else. NATSUKI: Urk! Well, that's up to him to decide. Maybe he likes baking, have you ever thought of that? Besides, how hard could making decorations be anyway? YURI: I-it's not as though I'm only speaking for myself--! Monika and Sayori would likely be appreciative of help as well. A-and not that it really matters... But decorating requires a lot of creativity and meticulous work. NATSUKI: So does baking! You’ve never baked a day in your life! How could you possibly know- Throughout their bickering, I can’t help but notice that Sayori hasn’t said a word. Does she not want me to help her? Or am I just overthinking this? It’s impossible to think properly with the arguing going on. MONIKA: Guys, guys! Let's settle down for a moment... In the end, it's like Natsuki said. Hisao's the only one who gets to decide how he'd like to contribute.m There’s no need to argue over him like he’s the last boy on Earth. I think it’s fair to say that each of us have plenty of work to do. NATSUKI: This has nothing to do with him being a boy! YURI: I-I agree! We’re merely discussing our workloads! Looks like Monika has united Natsuki and Yuri with a common enemy. MONIKA: Ahaha! Sorry, sorry! I was just saying, though... NATSUKI: Geez... Can we just move on already? MONIKA: Ahaha, alright then, moving along… Hisao, you're okay with this, right? In the end, it's up to you. HISAO: Ah... Of course. NATSUKI: Hmph. YURI: Very well... SAYORI: ... MONIKA: In that case... Everyone looks straight at me, varying expressions playing on their faces.  But of course, I'm going to go with— >Natsuki >Yuri >Monika >Sayori while maybe this choice originally gave you a chance to score Monika points,, her route is long gone from the finished version. Instead, picking her gives you a brief side scene: =>Monika HISAO: Well, I think that I’d probably be best suited for helping Monika... MONIKA: Oh really, Hisao? How so? NATSUKI: Yeah, I mean it’s not like she has the most work or anything… Heck, even Yuri has more to do! YURI: ... MONIKA: Natsuki, it’s not a competition. NATSUKI: Hey- MONIKA: Although to tell the truth, I would have to agree. Not to put any pressure on you or anything, Hisao! I just think that my job is honestly suited for one person. After all, I'm going to be designing the pamphlets on my laptop. Not sure how you can really contribute with that, aha. HISAO: Ah... I guess that's true. Well, if you're sure you don't need help, then... MONIKA: Don't worry about me - my mom does graphic design, too, so I do have resources if I need help. Anyway, I'm happy that you offered to help me, though! HISAO: Yeah, no problem. So, sorry to make you choose again, aha... But do you have a preference for who to help? And back to the drawing board. This time, we make the obvious choice. =>Sayori HISAO: Hey, Sayori. It’s been a while since we’ve hung out together, hasn’t it? It’ll be a lot of fun making these goodie bags, I reckon. Mind if I give you a hand with them? She doesn’t look quite as happy as I hoped she would be. SAYORI: Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to bore you. Plus it really isn’t that much work. The others have a lot more to do, so I’m sure they’ll get more out of your help than I would. I exchange looks with Yuri, Natsuki and Monika. None of us really know how to react. YURI: It’s okay, Sayori, really. It’s no problem. I work well alone, it wouldn’t cause any hassle. NATSUKI: Yeah, relax! I’ve baked loads of cupcakes before, remember? This’ll be a walk in the park. MONIKA: Sayori, no matter who he picked, the outcome would pretty much be the same. We’ve all got work to do. Our tasks are all equally important in making sure the festival runs smoothly. Don’t feel bad about it. Hisao chose you himself, it’s what he wants to do. Besides, it’s good that he’s going to be with you, because we need someone who can keep you from eating all of the candies. SAYORI: Uwaaa! Hey! MONIKA: Kidding, kidding. Seriously, enjoy yourself, guys. You two will have a lot of fun, I can sense it! Sayori still doesn’t look overly convinced, but she smiles and nods at us. Am I really that much of a burden to work with? No Hisao, don’t think like that. It’s just because she’s got something bothering her, that’s all… MONIKA: Okay, well that’s settled then! Everyone knows what they’re doing, and Hisao is going to be helping Sayori. I think that’s everything sorted then. I’ll see everyone on Monday, and don’t forget to practice your poems! It’ll be fun guys, I promise! Natsuki rolls her eyes as she leaves the classroom, Yuri and Monika in tow. As she passes by the door, Monika turns to us. MONIKA: Take care of yourself, Sayori. She gives her a gentle smile. SAYORI: Don't worry, I'm fine. HISAO: Ready to walk home again? SAYORI: Sure, let’s go.  HISAO: So, I was thinking about tomorrow. We’ll probably have to head to town, to grab the supplies for the goodie bags. Is that okay with you? SAYORI: Mmmhm, that’s fine. What time should I meet you, and where? HISAO: We can meet at my place. Also, seeing as we have a lot of work to do, let’s make it bright and early. SAYORI: Ah...I know we have a big day ahead of us, but could we not make it too early? HISAO: Still a bit lazy, I see? She doesn’t smile at the lighthearted jab. Strange, I thought she’d bounce off it and call me a meanie or stick her tongue out… But that look on her face… SAYORI: No, it’s just I uhm...I guess I’m just not an early riser, ehe… HISAO: No worries. I guess if we both got on with it we could get everything finished earlier than I imagined. SAYORI: Would 11 AM be okay? HISAO: Yeah, I can work with that. Guess it means I get a lie-in as well. SAYORI: Thank you. Anyway, there’s a few shops we can go to in town. I think we’ll need to go to the arts and crafts store along with the sweets one. HISAO: Yeah, sounds good to me! You have my number, right? Just text me if there’s any changes to our plans. Otherwise I’ll see you on Sunday at 11. SAYORI: Okay. We turn to walk off to our houses. SAYORI: Oh, and Hisao? HISAO: Yeah?  SAYORI: I’m sorry about how I’ve been acting today. I promise you I’ll be fine tomorrow.  Today has been a strange day. Just when I thought I was getting closer with Sayori… It makes me think. Are any of the other girls harboring some sort of hidden side to them? Who knows. 23. Our Next Chapter - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST  24. Skip - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST  It’s already Sunday. Knowing that I’ll be spending a day alone with Sayori is kinda weird. Not in a bad way or anything. It’s just been a long, long time since we’ve had a day out together with just the two of us. Still, I’m looking forward to it. I just hope whatever was bugging her on Friday is gone. It was really hard seeing her like that. I shake my head. No, it’s a new day today. It’ll be much better. As my mind drifts while I wait for her, I subconsciously recall a memory from a long time ago. Our parents took us to a fair that came to town. We must’ve been around...eleven? I managed to win Sayori a giant cuddly cow plushie in one of those shooting minigame things. Well actually…my dad did. I couldn’t aim for my life. That’s when I realized that video games don’t train you to shoot in real life… I smile at the memory. Does she remember it as well? The buzzing of the doorbell brings me back to the present. Most likely, it’s Sayori.  Yup, there she is. She’s gone for a pretty casual outfit. It’s simple but works really well on her. SAYORI: Hi, Hisao! Ready to go, then? HISAO: Heya. Sure am, let’s get going! SAYORI: Sooo…where are we going first then? HISAO: Well, I made a list of all the stuff we’ll need, so that’ll be a big help. I fish out a small sheet of paper from my pocket. On it, I’ve written what we need and where to get the items from. HISAO: Hmm. So we need bookmarks, some sweets, ribbon, and some gift bags. To be honest, I have no idea where we can get the gift bags and the ribbon… I was planning to go to the arts and crafts store in town, but apparently it shut down recently. SAYORI: Oooh, really? That’s okay! I actually have some gift bags and ribbon at home! HISAO: Thank god, that’s pretty convenient. You should’ve mentioned it yesterday though. SAYORI: Ehe, sorry...I must’ve forgot… HISAO: Nah, it’s okay. I’m curious why you have those two things, though. What do you use it for? SAYORI: Oh, I don’t use them or anything! They’re a leftover from a birthday party I had years ago! I think it was my tenth one? You remember it, right? She looks at me with puppy dog eyes, and I hasten to try and recall… HISAO: Something about you getting cake all over your face, right? SAYORI: Hey, you did too! I laugh as I realize I can’t claim innocence here. HISAO: Guilty as charged. Well, with those two items down, we just have to visit the bookstore and the supermarket. SAYORI: Which one are we going to first? HISAO: Let’s start with the bookstore. It’s closer. SAYORI: Whatever you say~  As we walk, I notice Sayori humming contentedly, a slight skip in her step. I forgot how adorable she could be. Always so cheery - it’s like she lives in her own little world. She looks like she’s back to normal again. To say I’m relieved would be an understatement. Almost like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. HISAO: Hey, Sayori. You look like you’re in a much better mood today. SAYORI: Of course! I said I’d be fine today, remember? So here I am~ HISAO: It’s a relief to see you back to your normal self. You really had me worried on Friday. SAYORI: No need to worry about me, silly. How’ve you been, anyway? HISAO: Good, good. Never thought I’d be writing poems in my free time, but hey. It’s a real change of pace from what I’m used to, but I’m not complaining. Sayori giggles. HISAO: What? SAYORI: Oh, nothing, nothing. I just didn’t see you as the poetic type, that’s all. All those video games, I guess. You really got into them over the past few years… I shift uncomfortably. I feel like this a reference to us drifting. After all…she’s not wrong. As I became more reclusive, I turned to gaming as an escape. HISAO: Haha, well truth be told I didn’t really think I was a poet either. I guess I never realized how much I enjoy literature. I shrug off the comment about gaming. I want to enjoy today, after all. HISAO: I mean, Yuri showed me this really cool book. Well, maybe not cool, but it was pretty interesting. Something about a girl who escapes from this weird human experimentation prison, and all sorts of horrible stuff happens to her. Sayori pouts, looking very disapproving. SAYORI: Uwaaa, I don’t like the sound of that at all… Sounds really scary! I’d hate to live in a world where horrible stuff like that happened to me… Well, looks like Sayori’s wonderful innocence never went anywhere. HISAO: I’d hate for anything bad to happen to you too, Sayori. I’d never let it happen… SAYORI: You’re so sweet Hisao, you know that?~ I used to be protective of Sayori when we were kids. Guess not much has changed, even after so much time apart.  I hadn’t even realized we’d made it to the bookstore already. As it turns out, the bookstore is actually in a library. It’s pretty small, but after glancing around, it seems to have what we need. HISAO: Alright, here we are! Let’s see what they have… I make a beeline for a rack of shelves carrying a nice variety of bookmarks that includes all different colors and sizes. Sayori wanders over, her eyes wide at all of the choices. SAYORI: Ooh, so many to choose from! HISAO: Yup. Who would’ve guessed there’s such a demand for bookmarks of all things… SAYORI: This blue one is really nice! I look over, slightly wearily. I forgot how excitable she could be… It’s a bookmark with a blue koala. Who makes a bookmark with a blue koala? Sayori seems to love it though. Before I even get to say anything, she starts gushing over another bookmark. SAYORI: Look at this red one! It’s got a little ribbon shape on it, just like mine! Well at least this one is a bit more justifiable... SAYORI: Look at these, Hisao! They’ve got little puns on them! An apple, with the quote “You are the apple of my eye.” A cutesy, smiling cartoon bacon, with the words “I like you more than bacon.” Okay, that one actually kinda made me laugh. HISAO: Hah, I’ll admit, I like the bacon one. The apple one’s too cheesy though. SAYORI: Hmm… Her face is all scrunched up, trying to decide which bookmarks to get. HISAO: Probably better off just getting these plain ones, Sayori. These are just for strangers coming to view our performances. No point getting these cutesy, punny ones. SAYORI: Aww…. No fun. HISAO: Hey, I’ll get you the donut one, though. The donut one has a smiley donut, with the words 'Donut you know how amazing you are?' SAYORI: Oooh, really? Thank you! I love it! It’s not hard to make Sayori smile. I think Sayori forgets that not everyone is into the stuff she’s into. Now that the bookmarks are out of the way, we wander over to the supermarket. SAYORI: Soooo we just need the sweets, right? HISAO: Mmmhm. Do me a favor and don’t spend hours trying to choose some, okay? I know what you’re like with candy… SAYORI: Hey! It’s not my fault I’ve got a sweet tooth! HISAO: Oh? Who’s fault is that then? She sticks her tongue out at me.  As predicted, Sayori is beyond excited. Like a real kid in a candy store. Well, she’s technically not in a candy store. But the saying doesn’t really sound as good when it’s a supermarket, does it? SAYORI: Uwaaa, Hisao! There aren’t any cookies here… I decide to humor her. HISAO: Oh no, seriously? That’s heartbreaking! SAYORI: I know! How can they call themselves a supermarket if they don’t have any cookies?! HISAO: It’s crazy, yeah. Anyway, we still have a lot to do when we get home, so let’s make some choices now, shall we? SAYORI: Okay, okay… We browse the selection, pondering which candy would be the best to buy. HISAO: Hey, Sayori, what’s your favorite flavor of licorice? SAYORI: Strawberry! Why? HISAO: Oh, no reason. Just wondering. Strawberry licorice it is. I’m going to keep this as a surprise for her. Although…doing these little thoughtful things for her makes me pause. Sayori told me I always used to look out for her back when we still hung out. Did I really stop doing all that? I find that kinda hard to believe, given how naturally I find looking out for her to be. SAYORI: I think these’ll be okay, don’t you think? She points into her bag, which’s filled with an assortment of chocolates and other sweets. SAYORI: There’s milk chocolate in here, toffee chocolates, peppermints, all sorts of stuff! People are gonna love it!~ HISAO: They sure will. I’ll just get some of my own candy and then we can get a move on. SAYORI: Okayy~ HISAO: We’ve still got a lot to do, don’t forget! Looks like Sayori’s got the chocolate side of things handled. I decide to go for the fruity sweets. HISAO: Alright, I think that’ll do! SAYORI: Aww, time to leave already? Could you do me a teeny tiny favor? HISAO: Let me guess - buy you some cinnamon buns? SAYORI: How did you know?! HISAO: Whenever our parents took us shopping together, you always used to ask your mom for the exact same thing. She blushes a little, turning away. SAYORI: Guess some things never change, right? Ehehe~ I smile back at her. It’s the little things with Sayori that really warm my heart. HISAO: I’m definitely not complaining. Hands filled with candy, we head to the register to pay. The cashier gives us a stern look, almost like he’s disapproving of all of the sugar we’re carrying. Sayori is totally oblivious, probably too busy thinking about which candy she can get away with eating. HISAO: Okay, so that’s everything! Let’s head home and get started with the quotes. SAYORI: Okay! Although I need to grab the goodie bags and ribbon from my place. So you should head home and get your computer up and running while I do that. That way, by the time I’m back at yours, you’ll be good to go! She really has a knack for showing initiative when I least expect it. Her idea is pretty smart though, so I roll with it. HISAO: Great thinking! Here, hand me the bookmarks so I can take them home. I’ll see you in a bit. Just give me a buzz when you’re outside. SAYORI: Sure thing~  I make my way upstairs and boot up my computer, tossing the bookmarks onto the desk. As the machine whirrs to life, I sit back, idly thinking about literature. There’s probably some really deep quotes out there. I laugh softly to myself, imagining how much someone like Yuri would resonate with those wise words. She’ll probably appreciate the quotes the most. For the second time today, the sound of the doorbell ringing jolts me back into reality. Once again it’s Sayori, who’s clutching a large sack filled with a colorful assortment of gift bags. It looks like she’s literally carrying a rainbow. SAYORI: Hi again! So, here they are!  I lead her upstairs as she carries on being enthralled by all the colors. HISAO: Man, you really couldn’t decide on a color, could you? SAYORI: There are so many pretty ones to choose between, Hisao! I figured you could help me choose, so I brought them all! Ooo…shall we go for the blue, or these pink ones? But these green ones are really pretty, too! HISAO: Sayori, how many do we ne- SAYORI: This one has little cinnamon decorations on it! HISAO: Sayori! SAYORI: Ah...sorry, ehe… HISAO: How many do we need? SAYORI: Hm….good question! I think about fifteen will do, right? Just to be on the safe side! She pulls out some ribbon from the sack. Unlike the gift bags, these are all one color - a very deep red. HISAO: Yeah, can’t see anything wrong with that. Wanna help me with the quotes? SAYORI: Sure! HISAO: Hmm...what about this one? “Writing is its own reward”? I mean...don’t you feel good when you finish one of your poems? Or don’t you feel excited to show that you’ve written to people? SAYORI: Hmm...kinda, I guess? I think Yuri would really like that quote, though, let’s use that one! HISAO: Yeah, I’m with you on that. What about this one? “There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.” SAYORI: ...I don’t get it. HISAO: Neither do I to be honest, haha. But I like the humor, and it strikes me as something people might find funny? I dunno...I think it’s something Monika or Yuri might find amusing. SAYORI: I’ll trust your judgement~ I like this one a lot! “There’s no real ending. It’s just the place where you stop the story.” It actually reminds me of a thought I had about poetry. HISAO: Oh? SAYORI: Yeah! To me, a poem is never actually finished, it just stops moving. That’s kinda...profound. Something I’d expect from Yuri. HISAO: So uh...what does it actually mean? SAYORI: Ehehe, can’t you see? It means that just because the poet has stopped writing, it doesn’t mean the poem is over! HISAO: Uh...well, if you say so, Sayori. SAYORI: I think a lot of people will appreciate this one, what d’ya think? “There is something quite delicious about writing the first words of a story. You never quite know where they’ll take you.” HISAO: I think so too! That one’s so...it makes you feel a sense of wonder, doesn’t it? Exactly the kind of feelings a good story should make you feel. Wow...I sound like Yuri, don’t I? SAYORI: A little bit! She’s rubbing off on you, huh? HISAO: Does that mean I’ll start sounding intelligent? Sayori chuckles, her eyes full of mirth. Her laughter is so innocent and sweet. SAYORI: You already do, Hisao! HISAO: Ahh c’mon Sayori, that’s not true. My poems aren’t anywhere near as good as yours. SAYORI: Mine aren’t anything special, don’t be silly! But I’m sure you’ll be a great poet in no time! HISAO: Ah, well I’ll believe it when I see it, I guess. Anyway, let’s get these printed and start putting together the goodie bags. SAYORI: Okie dokie~ After finding a few more quotes, we get to work. We have all the items ready to go. Now it’s just a case of putting a bookmark, quote, and candy in each bag, then tying it all up with a piece of ribbon. We get to work, a comfortable silence descending upon the room. As we progress, I realize how happy I’ve been all day. It’s not been anything fancy - just going into town with Sayori - but even that has put me in good spirits. Spending time with someone, joking around, reflecting on old memories. This weekend has been miles better than how my weekends typically go - boring, filled with aimless gaming and anime. I’ve missed this. I’ve missed this a lot, I really have. And most of all, I’ve missed Sayori. Today has taught me that I’m determined to spend more time with her. After all, I think she’s enjoyed it too. There’s a lot to catch up on, so I suppose we’ll have plenty to say and do over the upcoming weeks and months. SAYORI: You’ve been pretty quiet Hisao, are you okay? And there it is - that defining trait of hers - always being concerned about others wellbeing. I’m lucky to have someone like her in my life. HISAO: What? Oh, I’m fine, yeah. Sorry. Just been doing a lot of thinking. SAYORI: About what, if I can ask? HISAO: Just...about today. I’ve really enjoyed it. Hanging out with you again. It’s...been a while, hasn’t it? SAYORI: It has! I’m glad you enjoyed it, because I was gonna say that I did too! I haven’t had this much fun in a while~ Hearing that lifts my spirits even further, something I didn’t think was possible. HISAO: You know, I’m genuinely happy to hear that. I haven’t really told anyone, but… Sayori looks at me, her blue eyes swimming with concern. HISAO: Truth be told, I’ve been kinda lonely. Ever since my parents’ divorce, I haven’t really had much contact with people. And spending time with you today...it’s been refreshing. A really nice change of pace, you know? A change from spending the weekend by myself, playing games. SAYORI: Aww, I’m so sorry, Hisao! I had no idea you felt this way! You should’ve told me earlier that you were so lonely… I hate that I couldn’t help you before… HISAO: No no, it’s okay, seriously. It’s not your fault or anything. I’ve just been really reclusive myself. And I’ve really enjoyed the Literature Club so far. Just being able to spend time with people my age again, discover a new hobby...I appreciate it more than I can describe. You’ve all been super welcoming...I know I’m no poet or anything, but that didn’t bother any of you. SAYORI: Well, I’m glad you feel included at the club! That’s exactly what we want the club to be - welcoming. And I’m gonna make sure you’re never lonely again, okay?
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Apr 15, 2022 00:42
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Update 12: It looks like all the preparations are almost finished now. I feel like there’s something missing though… 24. Skip - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST SAYORI: Gotta put a smile on your face, you hear me? Can’t have you being sad! Starting with...this! She reaches toward me and starts tickling me, her hands ghosting over my neck and chest. I recoil instinctively, laughing like a small child. HISAO: He-hey! Aahaha, stop that, you k-k-know I’m ahaha t-t-ticklish! My laughter must be a catalyst for her tickling, because as she hears it, she doubles her efforts, a childlike grin on her face. I’m squirming and howling with laughter, almost running out of breath. HISAO: Ahaha plea-please Sayo-ori, ahaha I can’t breathe, just ahahaha give me a s-second! She pauses, giving me a chance to catch my breath. Good, she’s fallen for my decoy. I dart forward, pulling her arms away from me and driving her towards the bed, pinning her beneath me. It’s time to enact some revenge. SAYORI: Wha - nooo! You ehehehe tricked me ahahaha! No faiiiiiiir ahahahahaha! HISAO: Muhahah! Poor little Sayori, bamboozled by the mastermind Hisao! SAYORI: P-Please, have ahaha mer-mercy! HISAO: What was that? Sorry, I didn’t catch that, you’ll have to speak up!  I playfully feign deafness as I carry on tickling her. Her laughter is like music to my ears. She’s squirming under my fingertips, crying with mirth. To see such a big smile on her face...even if it’s kinda involuntary, it’s such a nice sight to see. Her laugh has such an innocent, joyful ring to it. Hearing it transports me back 10 years, back when we had that carefree level of innocence only childhood could have. SAYORI: Ahaha please, seri-seriously, I can’t breathe! She does sound quite short of breath and I’ve been tickling her for a while. I think I’ve had my revenge…  It’s only when I stop tickling her that I realize the situation we’re in. I’m sitting on top of her, pinning her down with my legs. One of my hands rests where her neck meets her shoulder, and the other one is wrapped around her wrist. As the laughter from both of subsides, a new atmosphere takes its place. It’s not exactly awkward...but it’s unusual, and neither of us know how to react. I meet Sayori’s gaze and find...something, in her eyes… what exactly is it? I wish I could read that expression, but the novelty of this situation makes me so unsure. Expectant? Was the word I was looking for? I don’t know… To anyone looking in, this probably wouldn’t look as innocent as we think it does. I hasten to climb off her, and she responds by sitting up on the bed, the completed goodie bags all but forgotten.  HISAO: Sorry, I uh… SAYORI: No no, it’s okay. She responded quite quickly - it isn’t just me who sensed something in the atmosphere. The atmosphere is becoming more and more awkward by the moment. What exactly happened? HISAO: Anyway, I’m glad we managed to get the goodie bags finished! SAYORI: Oh yeah, me too! They were a lot of fun to make, I just hope the other students like them~ I’m glad she’s able to roll with the change of topic. Just like that, some of the awkward air is dispelled. HISAO: Monika will be pleased, too! A lot of effort went into these, I know she’ll appreciate what we’ve done. SAYORI: Mmmmhm. I think Yuri will love the quotes, too. Some of those really reminded me of her. Not just me who thought that, then. HISAO: How’re you feeling about the actual recital, though? SAYORI: Eh...I mean, I knew I probably seemed pretty enthusiastic when Monika asked us… HISAO: But you’re kinda nervous now? SAYORI: Yeah, I guess...it’ll be okay, though! I mean, I have my poem, and I sorta know how I want it to go, so I think with a little more practice it’ll be fine. I mean...what’s the worst that could happen? HISAO: Let’s not think about that… SAYORI: What about you, Hisao? Aren’t you nervous? HISAO: Truthfully, yeah. I don’t have Monika’s confidence, sadly… But hey, I really like the club, and this is my chance to give something back to it, right? SAYORI: Yeah! That’s a great attitude to have! HISAO: Besides, I have an excuse to be bad, haha. I’m new, and nowhere near as experienced as you guys, so that’s my justification if my performance isn’t that great. SAYORI: Hisao! All you have to do is practice, okay? Your performance will be just as good as ours, I know it. HISAO: It’s nice to have someone believe in me, I guess. Thank you, Sayori. SAYORI: No problem! I probably should get going, though...need to practice my poem and stuff. HISAO: Yeah, that reminds me, I should probably do the same. Do you want to take the goodie bags? SAYORI: Sure! HISAO: Okay, I’ll put them in a sack for you, one second… I rummage around, finding a bag big enough for all of the smaller ones. Handing the big one over to Sayori, we both head downstairs. As she hovers by the doorway, she turns around to face me. There’s a shyness on her face. SAYORI: Oh, by the way… HISAO: Yeah? SAYORI: Thanks for today, Hisao. I haven’t had this much fun in a long time… HISAO: Hey, that’s alright! I really enjoyed myself too. We should make this a more regular thing. Her face lights up. SAYORI: Yeah! I like the sound of that~ I’ll see you tomorrow for the festival, okay? HISAO: That you will. See ya tomorrow, Sayori. As she waves and walks off, bag in hand, it takes me a few moments to identify what it is I’m feeling inside. Something as simple as going to town and making goodie bags with Sayori... It made me feel really warm inside. How has it taken me this long to realize? 23. Our Next Chapter - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST  In the main game, Sunday sees Sayori’s tragic death and the moment all that glitching kicks in. Here, it sees the player have an informal first date with whichever character they’re probably going to end up with. These scenes more the point where the game diverges from Canon and starts going its own direction, much to its benefit; from now on, the writers will be doing their own thing. 25. Cinnamon - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST It's the day of the festival. The preparations for the event should be nearly complete, given all the work everyone’s put in over the weekend. Funnily enough, I probably feel the same way as Natsuki about the event. I'm more excited for it to be over so I can spend time with Sayori at the festival. We’re meant to walk together, but she’s late again. I don’t want to leave her behind, but if she takes much longer I’m going to be late for school. More time passes. There’s going to be a moment of decision soon if she doesn’t arrive. Just as I’m getting ready to leave, I finally spot her, slowly making her way down the street. She’s carrying a large sack in her hands and I’m surprised she isn’t running over to me; isn’t she aware of how late she is?  HISAO: Sayori! Where’ve you been? We could’ve been late for school! SAYORI: Uwaaa, I know, sorry! I um… HISAO: Overslept again? Or couldn’t decide what to have for breakfast again? She immediately pouts. SAYORI: You’re such a meanie sometimes… HISAO: Aha, you know my teasing is all in good fun, right? She mumbles something under her breath. SAYORI: Of course!~ By the way, I also double checked the little bags - they’re all in here! She gestures to the large sack, a bright smile evident on her face. HISAO: Good stuff, Sayori. People are gonna love them. That was a really good idea. Candy, bookmarks and literature quotes. Perfect things to give out from our event. SAYORI: Uh huh! Something for everyone. SAYORI: Although…I’m kinda nervous for the festival… HISAO: Honestly, I don’t blame you for that. It’s kinda nerve-racking isn’t it? I mean...I know how much it means to Monika, but at the same time I didn’t really realize how intimidating reciting poetry to a bunch of strangers can be. SAYORI: Yeah, I was all for it back in the clubroom. But now that the actual day is here… She looks a little nervous. I reach over and give her a squeeze on the shoulder. HISAO: We’ll be fine, don’t worry. I know how much you like poetry, plus your poems are great! I just hope my own performance is up to standard. SAYORI: Oh, don’t be silly, Hisao! They’ll love your poem, I just know it! I chuckle, admiring the definitive optimism that really makes Sayori, well...Sayori. HISAO: Guess we’ll find out, haha. By the way, are you doing anything after the festival? Anything fun? SAYORI: Nope! I haven’t really planned that far ahead...I’m not great at doing that, anyway. Ehehe~ SAYORI: I’m kinda hoping we finish early so we can have the rest of the day off, to be honest. HISAO: So what you’re really saying is that you just want to go home and sleep, right? SAYORI: Ooh, look at how many students there are! How many clubs are having their own little event today? What a tactical change of topic that was. Our school is in sight, and there’s a lot of students milling around. It’s a little strange to think that there’s so many fellow students around, yet I’ve still been feeling so lonely. Or at least before joining the Literature Club. Times like these make me grateful that Sayori told me about it the club in the first place. HISAO: I dunno, probably quite a few. ...By the way, Sayori. SAYORI: Hmm? What’s up, Hisao? HISAO: I just wanted to say uh...well, no matter how this festival goes, I’m really grateful you told me about your club and let me join. I’ve had a lot of fun so far. I scratch the back of my head nervously as Sayori looks curiously at me. I’ve never been good at expressing myself, and it probably shows. HISAO: I guess what I’m trying to say is uh...thank you. It’s been so fun being able to spend time with you again, too. It really takes me back. SAYORI: You don’t have to thank me for anything, silly! I’ve enjoyed it too. After all, it would be lovely if things could go back to how they used to… HISAO: 'How they used to?' What do you mean? SAYORI: Oh, nothing, ehehe~ Strange choice of words. What could she mean by this? As we enter the courtyard and make our way to our meeting room, she breaks the silence by giggling. HISAO: Something funny? SAYORI: I’ve just thought of a way to steal one of Natsuki’s cupcakes without her realizing! HISAO: Uh...are you sure that’s a good idea? Natsuki might be little but you know better than I do that she can be really fiery. SAYORI: Oh don’t worry about her! She might seem a bit mean on the outside, but she’s harmless. Don’t let her fool you! Well. I’d rather her than me… 12. Festival! - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST  MONIKA: Hisao! Sayori! It’s good to see you guys! Do you want to come and give me a hand? Monika is placing little booklets on each of the desks in the classroom. They must be the ones she prepared that has all the poems we're performing. In the end, I found a random poem online that I thought Monika would like, and submitted it. So, that's the one I'll be performing. MONIKA: Hey, do you guys want to check out the pamphlets? They came out really nice! HISAO: Yeah, sure. Oh yeah, they really did. SAYORI: Mhmm, they look really pretty! HISAO: Something like this will definitely help people take the club more seriously. MONIKA: Yeah, I thought so too! I flip through the pages. Each member's poem is neatly printed on its own page, giving it an almost professional feel. I recognize the girls’ poems from the ones they performed during our practice. Just then, Natsuki bursts into the room carrying a box that positively towers over her. Yuri trails in behind her, carrying a rolled up banner and a large duffel bag. NATSUKI: Alright, it's festival time! Wow, you guys got here before me? I thought I was pretty early. YURI: Ahh...I’m sorry for being the last one here. I’m glad that some preparation is already underway though. It should take less time to set everything up this way. SAYORI: Yeah! Let’s work hard together, everyone! Natsuki unpacks her box to reveal four trays of cupcakes stacked carefully on top of each other. NATSUKI: Hisao! I jump at the sudden outburst. HISAO: Y-Yes? NATSUKI: Help me lay out these cupcakes! YURI: Uhm, then if you wouldn’t mind… Sayori, can you help me with these…? Yuri gestures at her bag, to which Sayori nods cheerfully. I help Natsuki with her cupcakes while Yuri and Sayori start putting up decorations. Meanwhile, Monika continues putting down pamphlets. It isn’t long before Natsuki has carefully arranged her cupcakes in a neat formation. Each cupcake is topped with white icing and some kanji written in a variety of different colored frostings. HISAO: Wow, these look really good. Great idea to make them literature club themed as well, Natsuki. NATSUKI: Yeah, it was a good idea, huh? I wrote down words that specifically have to do with poetry and our poems too! She picks up a cupcake to show me. NATSUKI: See, this one says “create!” HISAO: Er, isn’t that the kanji for \use?\ NATSUKI: Eh?!? As Natsuki furiously checks over the rest of her cupcakes to look for more miswritten characters, I glance over at Sayori and Yuri. They’ve put up a banner with an inspirational quote written on a colorful gradient of the colors of the sky. “A good writer possesses not only his own spirit but also the spirit of his friends.” YURI: Ah, that’s a quote by the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. He’s had some very interesting thoughts, although there are some that I don’t quite agree with. HISAO: Oh, I think I’ve heard of him… As usual, Yuri outclasses me with her intellect. It seems that they’ve also hung up a curtain of origami paper tied to ribbons in the doorway. Upon closer inspection, each paper has a different kanji character written on it. HISAO: Hey, it looks like you did something similar to Natsuki with your kanji curtain. YURI: Is that so? I’ll have to take a look at what she’s done after I finish setting up. She gestures to a few candles and a wooden cylinder-shaped object. SAYORI: Yuri said that that’s an essential oils diffuser! YURI: Huhu. Yes, it’s for aromatherapy, one of my favorite contributors to a positive atmosphere. HISAO: Huh...I’m excited to see how it works later! It looks like all the preparations are almost finished now. I feel like there’s something missing though… Suddenly, I notice a large bag sitting forlornly by itself to the side. HISAO: Sayori, d’ya mind handing me that sack you’ve got? I’ll help you distribute all of the stuff inside it. SAYORI: Okay! Here you go. Peering inside, I catch sight of quite a few small colorful bags, neatly tied shut with ribbons. Ah, just as I remember. Her handiwork from yesterday really shows. I pull one out. Yuri and Monika notice the little bags, looking on with interest. MONIKA: Ah, so this is what you and Hisao have been working on over the weekend, Sayori? I love how these look, you both did a fantastic job! HISAO: Oh it’s mostly Sayori. I couldn’t do the ribbon part if my life depended on it, haha. YURI: I’m sure the contents are just as impressive as the exterior. What sort of things did you choose for the quotes? SAYORI: Ehehe, we had a lot of fun with that! She delicately opens one of the little bags, fishing out a quote. SAYORI: “It’s perfectly okay to write garbage - as long as you edit it brilliantly.” Wait...I didn’t put this one in! HISAO: Oh yeah, that one was mine. I thought it was kinda funny… Monika giggles, whereas Yuri and Sayori look like they’re trying to figure out what punchline is. Well, one out of three isn’t so bad... HISAO: How about this one? I hastily open another bag, picking out the quote. HISAO: “Sometimes, when you’re writing a poem - or a story - your brain gets fixated on a specific point. Just force yourself to get something out on paper, and tidy it up later!” MONIKA: I like that one a lot, Hisao! After all, it’s pretty much true - if you never start, you can’t make any progress. Keeping your pen in the same spot would just result in a big puddle of ink… SAYORI: We couldn’t find out who said that, which is a shame...ooh, have you guys tried the candy? HISAO: Uh...don’t you think we should save those for the people we made these bags for, Sayori? SAYORI: Oh yeah...ehehe~ Natuski’s irritated voice rings over from across the classroom. NATSUKI: Hey! If you guys are finished over there, can you actually sort Sayori’s stuff out? You know, we do have a festival to prepare for! She huffs, and the rest of us share a guilty grin. Natsuki's right. YURI: Ah...I suppose Natsuki raises a valid point. HISAO: Yeah. Let’s get to it then… We each delve into the sack and scoop up the little bags, going around the classroom and setting them down on each desk. We printed out a few spare quotes to put around the classroom, and it’s not long before a few desks bear the wise words of writers and poets alike. Sayori wanders over to the front door and sticks one of the quotes there. I’m impressed by her thinking - everyone will see the quote that way. It doesn’t take long to distribute all of the little bags around the room. Out of the corner of my eye I spot Sayori trying to sneakily open a bag and pop a candy into her mouth. Naturally, she drops the chocolate. Some things never change…  By the time we finish, it looks like everyone else is done too. The classroom is now darkened and lit up by the ambient lighting of the candles. A delicate floral scent wafts through the air, courtesy of Yuri’s essential oils. Sayori and I head towards the other three girls, who are huddled near the front of the classroom, murmuring to each other. HISAO: Is it about time to start yet?  Note the darkened sprite. MONIKA: Almost, we wrote that we were going to start at 10 A.M. on our posters and that’s in...10 minutes. NATSUKI: Are people actually going to show up for this? MONIKA: Don’t be so negative. Some people have shown up already, and I’m sure that more will file in soon. You guys don’t have to be worrying so much about it. I’ve got full faith in all of you~ I’ve seen all of your poems. It’s been amazing watching each and every one of you find and nurture your unique writing styles. She smiles encouragingly at each of us. To her credit, her words are helpful, even though I haven’t been part of this club for as long as the other three. NATSUKI: Even Hisao? MONIKA: Natsuki SAYORI: Natsuki! NATSUKI: It was just a joke, geez. Thought some humor would lighten the mood… MONIKA: Ah, sorry. Just trying to make sure everyone’s in the best frame of mind before we start…  YURI: It’s okay, Monika. We all understand and appreciate that. SAYORI: Yeah! We know how much this club means to you; I want it to be a success just as much as you do~ HISAO: Couldn’t have put it better myself. Even though I’ve only been in the club for a few days, I’ve felt really at home. Truth be told, I used to be...kinda lonely. Knowing that I’m included in something with people like you guys always makes me feel better. Apart from Sayori on Sunday, I haven’t told anyone about how lonely I’ve been feeling. I’m a little nervous about how the others will react. They all turn to me, varying degrees of emotion on their faces. Natsuki impassively looks to the side, while Yuri gives me an expression of concern. Sayori looks a little sad, remembering our conversation about this. SAYORI: It’s okay, Hisao. We can change that, remember? Like I said, I’m so happy that you feel welcome here. It’s exactly what we wanted!~ YURI: I agree. No one should feel alone, I know it’s quite a difficult thing to experience. I feel a warm flush of gratitude at their words. HISAO: Thanks guys, that means a lot. Also, Monika - I told Sayori this earlier and I figured you might appreciate hearing this. MONIKA: Hmm? HISAO: Well...no matter how the festival goes, I just wanted to say thank you. To all of you. Thanks to you guys, that lonely feeling has disappeared. You’ve all been so welcoming and accepting and believe me, I’m really appreciative of that. So...even if this event doesn’t quite go as planned, just know that I really love it here and I’m so glad Sayori told me about this club. If others don’t like what we have here...well, it’s their loss, right?  The girls nod in agreement, smiling at me. I had no idea my words would have such an impact, but I’m glad they did in the end. It feels so rewarding to be able to give back to the club for a change. Monika turns to me, eyes shining with appreciation. MONIKA: Thank you Hisao, you’re right. Hearing those words from a newcomer really makes me feel like I’ve succeeded in my goals as president. After all, I wanted to create a place where people can feel comfortable and share literature, and what you’ve just said makes me feel like it was all worth it. She turns to face the others. MONIKA: See, guys? If we could show Hisao how amazing this club is, who’s to say we can’t show the other students the same thing? Don’t see them as strangers, see them as...potential club members! She’s definitely got an inspiring way with words. SAYORI: Yeah, good thinking, Monika! What’s the worst that could happen? NATSUKI: Yeah yeah. But if they say anything bad about my cupcakes I’m gonna kill them… Yuri giggles softly. YURI: I won’t lie to you, I’m still quite nervous. But after hearing what you’ve said, Hisao, I realized there might be other lonely people out there. This club would be the perfect place for them. NATSUKI: Yeah, we might even find more manga enthusiasts! MONIKA: That’s the spirit! Now, let’s go and show the rest of the school just what the Literature Club is made of! As if on cue, a few people wander into the room, curiously looking around the room. Monika confidently walks over and greets them. And so it begins. 12. Festival! - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST Monika and Sayori have greeted the newcomers and settled them in desks throughout the classroom. Some people are already helping themselves to cupcakes, and I notice Natsuki keeping an eye on them. Meanwhile, Yuri is nervously looking through a pamphlet. I can see her soundlessly mouthing the words to her poem. Now that I think about it, I should be getting some extra practice in as well… Before I can do so though, Monika heads back towards us with Sayori in tow. MONIKA: Showtime, everyone. SAYORI: Let’s do this guys! NATSUKI: Time to get this over with. YURI: I can do this… We group up and stand together at the front of the classroom. Monika steps up to the podium and clears her throat, drawing the room’s attention to her.  MONIKA: Okay, everyone! Welcome to the Literature Club’s poetry performance! My name is Monika, as some of you may know… Some girls sitting near the front of the classroom wave at her. MONIKA: And I’m the president of the club! Accompanying me is the vice president, Sayori- SAYORI: Hi guys! MONIKA: And the rest of our club members, Yuri, Natsuki, and last, but certainly not least, Hisao! We all wave back at the students with varying degrees of enthusiasm. MONIKA: I hope that you’ll all enjoy our poetry, and that we’ll be able to help contribute to a memorable festival. Literature is amazing in its ability to connect us to the human condition, and we really hope that this event will help encourage others to start participating as well. Our club will gladly welcome any new members, from those who love words and writing as well, to anyone who’s simply just curious and wants to learn more. After the scheduled performances, we’ll be opening up the stage for anyone else who wants to perform, so don’t be shy! And now, without further ado, I’ll be starting with my poem: The Way They Fly! Sayori, Natsuki, Yuri, and I head off to settle down in the frontmost desks, saving the seat at the end for Monika. She stands there, alone yet still radiating confidence. After flashing a smile and a wink at us, she begins. Each word is crystal clear and exudes emotion. Somehow, her recitation is even better than it was only a few days ago. She must have practiced hard to try to achieve perfection. The classroom is silent at first, drinking in her words. After a few moments however, some whispering starts up in the back of the classroom. I guess that that’s inevitable, but it still doesn’t make it any less annoying. I exchange a look with Natsuki, who rolls her eyes at the disruptions. Sayori pats my hand and gives me an encouraging smile. She’s comforting as always. As Monika’s poem progresses, more and more people wander in. Normally this would be a good thing, but they’re making a lot of noise. Thankfully they simmer down once they realize Monika’s speaking, but the damage has already been done. She reaches the end of her poem, the last few words resonating in the classroom. A round of applause fills the room and Monika beams at everyone, patiently waiting for them to finish. MONIKA: Thank you for listening, everyone! I hope you enjoyed my poem and that it gave you a flavor of what this club is like. For the newcomers - welcome! We’re just in the midst of showing you all of our poems. For the benefit of those who have just joined, she quickly reintroduces everyone. MONIKA: Anyway, up next is Natsuki. Take it away!  Natsuki stumbles slightly as she makes her way to the front of the class. I guess the nerves are really getting to her. It doesn’t help that someone sniggers, causing her to turn to glare at them. Sayori seems to notice too, as she hastens to shoot Natsuki a reassuring smile. Natsuki stands at the front of the classroom with her poem in hand, slight traces of irritation still visible on her face. NATSUKI: Anyway, so my poem’s called Jump. She takes a deep breath and begins her recital. Just as I was hoping, she’s able to inject her trademark bouncy style into the performance, bringing the words to life. She doesn’t quite radiate the confidence Monika did, but her unique style shines through, giving the poem a flow and rhythm. While simple, it’s effective. My heart sinks as I start picking up on the newcomers having their own conversation in the back of the room. I’m hit with a surge of anger - how can they be so inconsiderate?! It’s clear that they aren’t paying any attention, and from the pause and change in Natsuki’s tone, she’s clearly picked up on it as well. Why can’t they just save their stupid, selfish conversations for after our performances? (Silence) Her poem comes to an end, but unlike with Monika’s, there’s a slight awkward moment of silence. Once again there’s a round of applause, but it’s clear that the audience’s engagement isn’t quite as strong. MONIKA: Great performance, Natsuki! I really liked the rhythm of that poem. Natsuki forces a smile and makes her way back to her seat. It’s clear that she’s upset. MONIKA: Anyway, our vice-president Sayori is next to perform! SAYORI: Hi everyone! I hope you like my poem, ehehe~ She cheerily skips up to the front, poem in hand. As she turns to face us, she looks a little nervous, fidgeting slightly. SAYORI: Ehehe...sorry, I’m a little nervous… MONIKA: It’s okay, Sayori. Just remember what we’ve practiced, I’ve got full faith in you! HISAO: Yeah, you’ve got this. SAYORI: This one’s called My Meadow. 13. Festival? - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST  She begins her poem. Her soft voice guides us through the recital, and there’s a remarkable contrast between her cheerful inflection and the more bittersweet nature of the words. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice people casually flicking cupcake wrappers onto the floor, along with candy wrappers lying on the tables. Worse still, the talking is getting louder and more noticable. Monika looks around at the perpetrators, frowning at them. One of the students lets out a loud yawn, making absolutely no effort to Another student picks up one of the quotes and nudges their friend. They both frown and laugh at the message, and I get the horrible feeling it’s more the mocking kind of laugh. At this point I’m seeing red. If we weren’t in school, I would’ve punched these inconsiderate pricks by now. No one should be this rude to Sayori. She’s probably the sweetest person I’ve ever met. Despite the now obvious disruptions, she's still trying her best and is making a real effort to continue. To her credit, her performance is still commendable. She manages to work the contrast of her enunciation against the words in her favor. It adds an interesting depth to the poem. I’d love to see more of this side to her. She brings her performance to a close, hands shaking slightly. MONIKA: Lovely poem, Sayori! You really brought that one to life. SAYORI: Thank you~ Something’s off with her voice. It’s like how she was on Friday… Monika stands up, turning to address everyone in the room. MONIKA: Just a polite reminder that it would be much appreciated if everyone could give our poets some respect while they’re performing. Monika looks stern while Natsuki looks positively furious. MONIKA: Thank you. Now, the stage is all yours, Yuri.  Yuri is looking terrified at this point. Sayori gives her a reassuring squeeze and I lean over, whispering into her ear. HISAO: You’ve got this, Yuri. Just pretend like it’s only me, Natsuki, Sayori and Monika. YURI: I’m...I can’t do this, Hisao. HISAO: Yes you can. I believe in you. I’ve seen how passionate you can become when you talk about Portrait of Markov. I loved that. I loved seeing that side of you. Besides, like you said… This club could be the perfect place for any of these people. We just don’t know it yet. She swallows nervously, nodding at my words. YURI: O-okay. Thank you. She rises to her feet, poem clasped firmly to her chest and avoiding eye contact with everyone as she walks up. Her eyes flick up to glance at the classroom when she gets on stage, although she quickly ducks her head back down to look at her poem on the podium. YURI: T-This poem is titled Afterimage of a Crimson Eye. Her voice quivers as she starts, but unlike her recitation a few days ago, the meek and trembling version of Yuri remains well into the poem. She determinedly forges ahead, but I can tell that she’s not enjoying it in the slightest. The rest of the classroom, momentarily subdued by Monika’s words, soon begins to grow louder again. After a few lines of her poem, they are even more unruly than before - the crinkling of wrappers fills the air, and at a few points Yuri is almost drowned out by others’ voices. I catch a few people getting up and leaving the classroom, and by the slight hitch in her voice it seems that Yuri’s seen them as well. Her eyes stay glued to her poem now, and it looks like she’s trying her hardest to ignore everyone. One boy quietly wolf whistles at Yuri, causing her to jump and lower her head even more. She’s practically shaking like a leaf.
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Apr 19, 2022 00:21
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KennyMan666 posted:First sentence is cut off here, guessing there's a "listen" or "pay attention" missing.  Yeah, I’ll take a look at that. But first:It’s that time for the first time, folks! Between the thread and the discord, we have just about enough  posts to work into the OP, and I’d like to lay out exactly what happens next. Discussion of disability, especially by disabled people, gets buried under taboos and barriers or sanitized before it reaches an audience, so I’ve taken to linking to standout posts in the OP describing important experiences and observations about disability, the game, or both. Here’s the issue: I have a background in oral history, and I know drat well how sensitive information about a person’s disabilities is from a legal and moral standpoint. But I can’t really apply the full set of ethical standards to this thread without it getting ridiculous, so this is my compromise with myself. You can give me permission just to use those specific posts in the OP or give it for any of your posts going forward; in the latter case, say specifically that you grant me permission to use your posts in this thread going forward unless you specifically say otherwise . And I mean it - you can tell me at any time to take this stuff down and I will, or tell me to initialize or anonymize your name so it doesn’t get attached to the links when they hit the LPArchive. I will not use something you write without your permission. You can contact me via PM, in the discord, or in the thread at any time with requests or further questions.So let’s get started. SimplyUnknown1, JeffRaze, namtab, Ghost Car, Tulip, Funktor, Antistar01, dotchan, you all posted something I think deserves inclusion, so I’ll need to get your permission. That includes if I have your permission for the KS thread; this is a separate project and that ethically requires separate permission. I’d also like some advice on how to migrate posts from the discord over here; I can’t really link to them (especially if I want them in the archive eventually), so I think I’ll have to crosspost them; I’m not sure whether I should batch-post things with similar topics in separate posts or post everything in one mega post or what. Let me know if you have any ideas or opinions; I don’t know whether filling the thread up with my posts would be annoying to read even if they aren’t actually my posts. And finally, since this was an issue last thread: some of you might bit think your posts/experiences are interesting enough to deserve inclusion. They are. I guarantee you, no matter how small or mundane you think it is, there’s someone out there who’s never even thought of it or who thought they were the only ones who experienced it. That sort of thing haunts thinking about disability in general and it doesn’t help anybody; trust that you have something to say.
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Apr 20, 2022 19:44
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Namtab posted:For discord you’re probably best off just taking screenshots Not screenreader-accessible, I’m afraid; I’d have to transcribe them anyway.
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Apr 20, 2022 23:53
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Update 13: Okay, so I’m here. 13. Festival? - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST This is absolutely disgusting behavior, and I open my mouth to say something. Suddenly, Natsuki stands up, a loud scraping noise from her pushing away from the desk drawing the attention of the students.  NATSUKI: Can you all just shut up? I’m really freaking sick of this - how can you guys be so rude?! We’re trying our best to our best to show you something amazing here, and you’re just going to stomp all over our hard work like that? Unbelievable. I can’t even understand how people can be this arrogant and - ugh, just this plain terrible! I didn’t want to interrupt you, Yuri, but I can’t stand it anymore. You idiots might as well leave if you aren’t even going to pretend to pay attention! There’s complete silence for a beat. STUDENT: Only came for the food anyway. Let’s go guys. I throw a panicked look over to Monika, who’s holding a strange, stiff expression on her face. Looks like she’s struggling to stay calm for everyone. After a few moments, there’s barely anyone left. Yuri, meanwhile, quietly begins speaking again, but her voice is barely audible. There’s just a stifling silence accompanying her words. When she finishes, a weak smattering of applause sounds from the few who are left. She unsteadily steps down from the stage, a blank look on her face. She won’t look at any of us either... I’m worried about her… MONIKA: O-Okay- Monika’s voice cracks as she speaks up. She’s still trying her best see us through this. I don’t think any of us could have predicted that it would turn out this way… MONIKA: Ahem. Thank you, Yuri, you did wonderfully. I’m sincerely sorry for all the disruptions and sheer arrogance you had to endure. Those kinds of people really are the worst. To those who are left, I want to thank you all for staying and apologize as well. This is definitely not a normal occurrence for the Literature Club, I assure you. Well...let’s finish this off with Hisao then. When I get to the podium, I’m appalled by the sight of the classroom. Candy and cupcake wrappers are strewn across the floor, and quote cards lay tossed about, with many of the cards now featuring shoe prints over the words. The remnants of goodie bags are left ripped apart on desks. Even the kanji curtain looks tangled up and messy. The only students left are the ones who waved to Monika at the beginning. This is what Yuri had to see when reciting her poem...no wonder she didn’t want to look up and face these people. Can I really do this now? How were the others able to finish their poems? I look at the clock. Only 10:20. Has it really only been 20 minutes? Taking a shaky breath, I begin to speak. HISAO: Hi everyone. I’d like to take a second to apologize as well, both to those checking out the club today and to those who are already in it. But despite everything that’s happened, I can say that I’m glad I joined since I got to meet so many amazing people. I believe that you guys will love it as much as I did too. mc Anyhow...I hope that you’ll all enjoy Acquainted with the Night. I start reading, and am struck once again by the beauty of the poem. The loneliness and isolation conveyed so accurately...I can relate to a lot of these feelings. I won’t be as good as the others at reciting, but I can only hope that I’ll be able to do the poem justice. Thoughts of doing both the poet and the club proud strengthen my spirit, and I manage to fight through the depressing mood. The quiet of the classroom suits the lines of the poem well, and my recital seems to fly by rather quickly. MONIKA: Excellent performance Hisao, what a great way to round off the event. As I step down from the stage, Monika stands up and addresses the room. MONIKA: Thank you all for coming and staying; I truly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. m That’s it for the scheduled recitations, but you guys are free to stay and hang out if you want. There’s an awkward silence for a few moments, then the remaining students start to stand up.   SHIORI: Hey Monika. Oh, and you too, Hisao. I didn't know you were in this club. The girl standing before us is actually my homeroom's class representative, Shiori. Given that both she and Monika are class reps, they're probably friends. HISAO: Yeah, I only joined about a week ago, so... SHIORI: Ah, I see, I see. HISAO: Yup... SHIORI: Hey, the way you guys were treated was seriously awful. MONIKA: It's fine, aha...thanks for staying. SHIORI: Either way... Sorry about everything, Monika. I’ll check out the club sometime. She gives us a small commiseratory smile, and I’m torn between wondering whether everyone's pitying us or sympathizing with us. They all start to file out of the classroom after a few more goodbyes. Monika keeps a strained smile plastered on her face; meanwhile, Yuri has her head buried in her arms on the desk. In contrast, Natsuki is staring straight ahead, gritting her teeth, and Sayori looks down at her desk, picking at a spot on the varnished wood. (Silence)  To say there’s tension in the air would be a massive understatement. There’s silence in the room, made worse by the sense of awkwardness. No one knows what to say. No one expected the festival to end this way, and the impact is hitting us all. HISAO: So...that could have gone better… My attempt at humor falls flat, and I immediately regret speaking. Natsuki gives me a dirty look, but Sayori smiles wanly. Meanwhile, it looks like Monika’s face has finally fallen.  MONIKA: I don’t understand…where did we go so wrong, guys? We spent so long preparing for this, and after all our efforts… For the first time, that outgoing confidence Monika always seemed to radiate has snuffed out. She clearly cared a lot about this event, and I feel awful for her. HISAO: I know, I don’t get it either… I thought you guys all did such a good job as well. The decorations, the recitals… I’m sorry, Monika. MONIKA: Ah, don’t worry about it Hisao. It’s not like it’s your fault, anyway. She smiles weakly at me. Glancing around, I notice that Yuri and Natsuki seem particularly upset, with Yuri looking absolutely dejected and Natsuki steaming mad. NATSUKI: This is your fault, Monika! I told you this was a stupid idea! None of us were even that comfortable with doing it in the first place…now look where it’s landed us. 15. Argumentative - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST  MONIKA: Excuse me? My fault? You all agreed to do this, pardon me for thinking it would actually go well! What’s so wrong about that? NATSUKI: We only agreed to do it because we felt like you were forcing us! I was really hoping this wouldn’t happen. Given everyone’s low moods, an argument is the last thing we need… MONIKA: I didn’t force anyone, Natsuki! You know how much this club means to me, I was just excited to show what we have to the rest of the school! NATSUKI: Yeah, because that was such a good idea, wasn’t it? MONIKA: I’m really starting to get sick of your constant sarcasm, you know. Why can’t you just try being positive, for once in your life? NATSUKI: Gee, it’s funny you should say that, because I’m really starting to get sick of your self-righteous, know-it-all attitude. We told you this was a bad idea, but noooo. You just had to insist on this, even though no one was happy with it. MONIKA: It was for a reason! Look at how much Hisao enjoys it here! Is it really so unreasonable to think that we could’ve found someone else like him? Or is that just too positive for you to even fathom? This is awful. The other students were bad enough, but now Monika and Natsuki are going for each others’ throats? NATSUKI: Look at how badly everyone was humiliated. How inconsiderate all of those...those… She struggles for a moment, her anger inhibiting her ability to speak. NATSUKI: Those assholes were. To all of us! They didn’t give a drat about anything we had to say! What did that one prick say? He was only here for the food? All of that hard work, just for what? Nothing.  She angrily kicks one of the desks. The loud noise jolts Yuri, who looks up with tears in her eyes. YURI: P-Please, Natsuki, can you calm d— NATSUKI: Don’t tell me you’re taking her side, Yuri! You had to experience the worst of it! I don’t get why you’re not mad either. YURI: N-Natsuki, there’s no point in being angry at Monika. She didn’t want this to happen; she had no idea people would react this way. It’s bad enough that the students were rude, and I really don’t like fighting inside the club itself… NATSUKI: Yeah yeah, but if Monika just listened to us when we said we weren’t comfortable with the whole idea, this would never have happened! Monika sighs. This is the kind of conflict she generally leaves for Sayori to deal with. But in this case, Sayori looks too distraught to intervene. MONIKA: Look, what you’re not understanding is that sometimes you just have to take risks. Sure, this didn’t go so well. But there was always a chance it wouldn’t have ended like this, and we could’ve had new members! She turns to me. MONIKA: I mean, you of all people can understand that the best, right Hisao? You made the choice to come here, look how much you enjoy it. NATSUKI: Oh, don’t you try and suck up to him, Monika! Face it, you never listen to us - your club members - or take our opinions into account. Tell me I’m not alone in thinking that, Hisao. Oh great, now I have to choose a side? I really don’t want to do this…I desperately look at Yuri and Sayori, but both look too upset to want to get involved.  So, I guess that’s gonna be… >Monika >Natsuki This is an extremely complicated question I don’t have enough information to answer yet; I’ll wait until we get to Natsuki’s route, most likely. I would be interested knowing what the thread thinks. In the meantime, we’ll just go with the option that best serves our route. =>Monika Something tells me this is going to make me very unpopular with Natsuki…I brace myself for what’s going to come next. HISAO: Natsuki, come on…you know better than I do that Monika loves this club, it’s only natural she’d want to share it with the rest of the school. NATSUKI: Ugh, seriously? You’re actually taking her side? I can’t believe this… HISAO: No! It’s not like that, I’m not ‘taking her side’…it’s just – NATSUKI: Just what? That’s exactly what you’re trying to do Hisao, don’t try and backpedal! MONIKA: Natsuki…that’s not what he’s trying to say, he’s ju- NATSUKI: Oh, of course you’re jumping to his aid! NATSUKI: Shut up, Monika! Monika looks furious, and for a moment I think Natsuki has finally gone too far. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, evidently trying to contain her anger. HISAO: Geez Natsuki, don’t you think that was a little out of order? You didn’t have to shout at her. NATSUKI: What would you know? You haven’t even been here for five days! Why is everyone making me out to be the bad guy here? Remember when Monika said she’d make sure people weren’t going to be rude during our performances? Wow, congratulations! She sure did a fantastic job with that! I mean, it’s not like anyone wolf whistled at Yuri or anything, was it? Some enforcer you were. Her bitter sarcastic tirade continues on, each point worsening the atmosphere. NATSUKI: I’m the only one who can see this for what it is. It’s just Monika trying to use the club to boost her popularity. And it sickens me. You think we’re all just...what, some sort of pawns for you? Explains why you didn’t even consider how reluctant we all were to do this, or why you let everyone just walk all over us. MONIKA: Natsuki, you’re just being ridiculous now. Why would I want to hurt all of us? It’s not exactly been easy on me either! Natsuki lets out a snort of derision. NATSUKI: You? What would you of all people know about life being hard? Monika blinks, looking like she’s been slapped. NATSUKI: It’s easy for you, Monika! With your role as the queen of this school, everyone liking you, all that crap. You have such a “perfect life” and all. Never having to defend your interests, never having anyone ridicule you for the things you like! I share classes with those assholes, you know? And you can bet they’re gonna have a lot of fun telling everyone else about… About how much of a loser we all are! And guess what? It’s all because of you. I can practically hear the venom dripping from her words at this point. It’s absolutely horrible. NATSUKI: Face it. (Sudden Silence)  NATSUKI: Sayori would be a better president than you could ever be. And with that, a sickening silence falls onto the room once more. But this time, it’s a million times worse. The fire in Natsuki’s eyes is blazing, and quiet sobs can be heard from Yuri. Sayori’s miserably hugging herself, looking completely lost for words. Monika is wearing a stony expression on her face, looking both enraged and heartbroken. The whole club waits for her reply to the bombshell Natsuki just dropped on her. 14. Festival... - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST But without a word, Monika turns on her heel and walks out of the door, the impact of Natsuki’s words hanging in the air behind her. No one knows what to say. For a few moments, the heavy silence remains. We all exchange looks. Yuri is meekly wiping her eyes on her sleeve and Sayori is standing around awkwardly. Natsuki on the other hand is refusing to meet anyone’s gaze. She looks like she’s regretting her words a little bit.  SAYORI: Uhm...guys? Please can we...make sure that never happens again? It was awful! YURI: That was horrible to experience, to say the least… Without Monika to restore order and keep things going, the club suddenly feels very aimless and disorganized. SAYORI: Natsuki, I know you’re angry but...can you please find Monika and apologize? NATSUKI: But- SAYORI: Please? I know you’re feeling a bit guilty over what you said. After all, you were a bit mean… Natsuki grumbles something under her breath. HISAO: Nah, it’s okay. I’ll go and find Monika. No offense Natsuki, but I don’t think she’d particularly want to see you right now. I wince as the words leave my mouth. There’s probably a more diplomatic way of saying it… Natsuki glares at me. NATSUKI: Fine. As I turn to leave, I silently motion to Yuri and Sayori to try and talk to Natsuki. Sayori nods and Yuri nervously swallows. (Silence)  Now...where would Monika go? She would probably want somewhere quiet where she could be by herself, right? Which rules out the classrooms, the courtyard and the cafeteria. The only two places coming to mind are the girls toilets, or… The rooftop. Well, I’m hoping it isn’t the girls toilets… I make my way over to the staircase that leads up to the top, thinking about how this conversation is going to go.  Will she even want to talk to me? She didn’t even say anything as she left. Was she that upset? Although...given what Natsuki said, I really wouldn’t blame Monika. Guess there’s only one way to find out.  There’s a door at the top of the stairs, which opens out to the rooftop. Bracing myself, I put my hand on the cool steel door handle and push the door open.  Man, the view up here really is something. I shiver as the wind cuts through my blazer. It's a cold and desolate place, a fitting setting for what just happened... I look around, and there she is. Leaning slightly over the barriers at the edge of the rooftop, face turned away from me. Not a peep sounds from her, not even when the wind slams the door behind me closed. 40. Longing For a Smile - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST  HISAO: Monika? No answer. I slowly approach her, making as little noise as possible in some illogical attempt to not scare her away. HISAO: You...uh, looked pretty upset, so I thought I’d come find you… I trail off, mentally berating myself at how weak that must’ve sounded. She stays completely still as I sidle up to her side, leaning on the railing so that I can see her face. I don't know what I expected...but her expression is oddly calm. HISAO: Monika... MONIKA: Beautiful view, isn't it? HISAO: Er, yeah. You could say that. Is that the reason you came up here? MONIKA: It's part of it. On days like this, the wind and the eternally stretching blue sky make me feel like I can go anywhere. It feels...freeing. There's something comforting in the possibility of getting swallowed up by that blue. Being able to simultaneously take control and lose control. HISAO: ... Monika, are... Well, I know that you're obviously not okay. But I'm not asking if you're okay to know if you're 'okay.' I'm going to ask if you're okay so that you can choose to talk to me about whatever if you want to. To give you an opportunity to open up. So...are you okay? A thin smile appears on her face. Progress? MONIKA: ...That's sweet of you, Hisao. To be honest, I didn't expect you to have any tact at all. Me neither. MONIKA: Did you expect that I'd be crying up here? Contemplating suicide or something? Don't worry, I wouldn't do it just because of the festival. HISAO: ...Well, I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to cry it out. MONIKA: You know, I actually thought that I would cry at first. But maybe I'm all cried out. I guess I've come to terms with all the things that Natsuki said already. She says such weighty words so casually... HISAO: What Natsuki said wasn't true, Monika. I think that you're a fantastic president. I hasten to try to give less empty words after she arches an eyebrow at me. HISAO: And I'm not just saying that to cheer you up either. Remember what I said to you before the festival? During your little pep talk? She faintly nods. HISAO: Well, I’m gonna reiterate it anyway because it’s important you’re aware of how much I mean it. Thank you. For everything. You took me in when I really needed it. Remember how I said earlier that I’ve been feeling lonely? She nods again. HISAO: Well, that’s how things have been for me recently. I haven’t seen much of my parents lately, and most of my days I’d spend alone. All of that changed when I joined your club. You were all so friendly and welcoming. Not once did you ever turn me away because I wasn’t a poet. I mean...between you and me, I know my poems weren’t the greatest, hah… MONIKA: Heh, you have a lot of potential, Hisao. I did like your poems. HISAO: Well I’m glad you think so. But anyway, that’s beside the point. You accepted me for who I was and was always willing to help me. And more importantly, you’ve created something that three other girls hold dear to their hearts. Definitely the sign of a good president, if you ask me. Monika looks down for a moment as if composing herself, and then meets my eyes with a smile. MONIKA: Thank you, Hisao. It really means a lot. Like I said earlier, hearing all of this from a newcomer really does make me believe I’ve hit the goals I set for myself. All I wanted was to create a little haven that people could call home, no matter their writing ability. HISAO: Well, take it from someone who joined only a few days ago then - you’ve definitely succeeded. Also, had you not made this club, I would never have gotten to meet Yuri and Natsuki, or been able to hang out with Sayori again. Nor would I have gotten to get to know you better either, and that would’ve been a real shame, eh? I playfully nudge her, receiving a nudge back. HISAO: This past week has probably been the happiest I’ve ever been in a long, long time. And that… Is all thanks to you. We share a smile, one that I'm now sure is completely genuine on Monika's part. MONIKA: I don’t really know what to say… HISAO: It’s okay, seriously. I just wanted you to know how I felt. Anyway… Natsuki was a bit out of order with her words, but honestly I don’t think she meant it. I guess tensions were just running really high, and you know better than I do how fiery she can be. MONIKA: Yeah...I know she was just really upset, but hearing those words...it hit pretty deep, you know? I tried telling myself not to take her words to heart because I knew she was just upset… But it was that line about Sayori being a better president...I don’t know why it got under my skin so much. HISAO: It was just spite, Monika. People say awful things that they don’t mean when they’re upset. Sayori and Yuri are talking to her now, and I get the feeling she wants to apologize but just doesn’t know how to. MONIKA: Ahaha...well, that's definitely something Natsuki needs work on. By the way… Thank you for making the effort to find me, it really means a lot. I’m suddenly struck by the situation I’m in. Here I am, alone, with one of the most attractive, popular girls of the year, having a heart to heart. Probably a situation most of other guys in the school would kill to be in… My face heats up a little as I process the heartfelt, rather vulnerable scene we’re both in. HISAO: Uh...you’re welcome, Monika. Nothing to thank me for. I sheepishly scratch the back of my neck. HISAO: We should go and find the others, though. Don’t want them to worry or anything. We stand up and make our way back to the door. MONIKA: I hope so. It wasn’t exactly nice to be told you have a “perfect life” and that you’ve never experienced any difficulties… As we make our way back to the club, I just hope Sayori and Yuri were able to talk some sense into Natsuki. The last thing we need is another argument. (Silence) She’s silent as we wordlessly make our way back to the classroom. We finally arrive. I squeeze her shoulder as she takes a deep breath and walks in. 14. Festival... - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST scene  SAYORI: Ah! They’re back! Yuri and Sayori hurry over to us, looking worriedly at Monika. Meanwhile, Natsuki remains standing off to the side by herself, arms folded… MONIKA: Hey guys, I’m alright, really. Taking some time outside helped clear my head, and I’m feeling a lot better now. Not to mention, Hisao was a real help too. YURI: I’m relieved...it was a frightening prospect to consider losing our club president. SAYORI: Yeah, and now that everyone’s calmed down we can talk things out! Natsuki, why don’t you come join us? NATSUKI: Ugh, fine… She drags her feet as she makes her way over to us. I notice Monika fidgeting with the hem of her skirt, and smile reassuringly at her. NATSUKI: Okay, so I’m here. Natsuki’s eyes dart up to meet Monika’s for just a second. NATSUKI: So. Uhh… There’s an awkward silence as Natsuki’s voice trails away. Sayori raises her eyebrows at her, causing the smaller girl to return with a glare. SAYORI: I think what Natsuki means to say is that she just said all those things in the heat of the moment. YURI: A crime of passion, as it were. NATSUKI: Hey! Geez, I can speak for myself, okay? She says that, but… NATSUKI: Alright, I’m just gonna get this over with. What I wanted to say was that I didn’t mean it when I said that you were a bad president. I mean, I guess it’s pretty clear that you care a lot about the club. Sayori nods vigorously at her, egging her on. NATSUKI: It’s just that those jerks pissed me off so much that I blurted out random things and needed to vent. Well, I won’t lie; it does seem like you always get special treatment because you’re so popular, Monika. But then again, I wouldn’t know what you have to go through. You’re on a totally different level from the rest of us. MONIKA: Natsuki… NATSUKI: Anyway! That’s all I guess. I’ve always seen you as a friend...and uh, I hope that you’ll still be able to see me as one too. MONIKA: ... There’s tension in the air once again as we anxiously wait for Monika’s response. Natsuki shifts back and forth on her feet, looking like she almost wants to run away from the scene. MONIKA: Thank you for saying that. I’m not going to lie either; your comment doubting my presidency hurt. SAYORI: It’s definitely not true though! You’re a great president, Monika! HISAO: Yeah, you brought us all together; without you, we wouldn’t have become friends, and I wouldn’t have been introduced to the world of poetry. YURI: I agree. It’s an amazing feeling to be able to talk to like-minded individuals. NATSUKI: Yeah, as far as presidents go, we could definitely do worse. HISAO: And so what if you nudged us into the festival? I guess it’s only normal for the president of all people to want the club to grow.  MONIKA: Aha, thanks guys. I guess that after all that, I have no choice but to accept Natsuki’s apology, eh? mc I mean, it’d be really great if you could… YURI: That’s certainly an understatement. We all turn to look at Yuri, surprised at the glimpse of a humorous side to her. YURI: U-um, did I say something strange? SAYORI: Oh Yuri, you’re so funny! YURI: E-eh? (Silence) I let out a breath I’d been subconsciously holding. It seems like everything’s turned out well in the end, or at least as well as they can, given the circumstances. MONIKA: Okay, everyone! Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - My Feelings  And with that catchphrase, everything seems alright in the world once again. MONIKA: I totally forgot to mention this, but we still need to clean everything up. I’m sure that with all of us working together though, it won’t take that long to do! HISAO: I’m assuming everyone’s just going to skip the festival and go home after this? SAYORI: Mhmm, I’m pretty tired after all the stuff that just happened. YURI: As am I. NATSUKI: Same here. MONIKA: Ah, I wish I could leave too, but I have a shift in my class's cafe after this. It's alright though, everyone get moving then so you can all go home! Everyone starts cleaning up the room, myself included. Yuri and Natsuki start packing up the essential oils set-up and cupcake trays, respectively. Meanwhile, Sayori, Monika, and I pick up everything left on the ground and desks. It’s like we’re erasing all trace that the festival ever happened in here. Although… I can’t help but think that there’s still lingering tension in the air, despite Monika’s cheery expression. I have a feeling that Monika might just be putting the club before herself in this case… But the only thing I can do now is hope that everyone will feel better tomorrow. It’ll be pretty nice to get home from school early for a change and be able to relax, although now that I think about it I really only have anime and video games to look forward to. I guess that everything that’s happened today is going to be plaguing my mind tonight… 23. Our Next Chapter - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST 
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Apr 22, 2022 02:13
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Quackles posted:It's the hair. It's me accidentally making her portrait a third larger than the others
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Apr 26, 2022 01:32
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Update 14: We'll be here for a while if I try to understand what goes on in Sayori's head.  Monika is watching you. (Silence, Piercing Alarm Sound)  ...Morning already? I groan as I fumble for the alarm clock. Man, I just feel like sinking into the depths of my bed. Is it natural to feel this tired after waking up? What's the time, anyway? 10:30 A.M. ... Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Poem Panic! Holy crap! I've already pretty much missed the first two classes! Should I even go to school today, or just cut my losses and skip? ... ... A fierce battle rages within my mind as I lay there. But after a beat, I leap out of bed and begin throwing on my uniform. I don't even want to go to school, but I strangely feel compelled to stick to my everyday routine. Guess Mom really trained me well… No time to eat breakfast today. To be honest, I'm usually too lazy to cook anything, anyway. It's 10:39 A.M. now. I'm making good time. ...Hang on. It's Saturday. (Silence) As that realization hits me, all the nervous tension drains out of my body, leaving me slouched over and exhausted. Now that I'm already out of bed, I might as well do something productive today. Although I'll have to get changed into my normal clothes first… At least there's no school to get through today, although unfortunately the Literature Club is still feeling the effects of the festival... Thankfully, the awkward atmosphere is only subtle, but even I, a newbie, can see that everyone's been treading on eggshells. I really do hope that things can eventually get back to normal, but at this rate...I could easily see everyone drifting apart. Monika hasn't spoken to me about things yet, either. I meant to talk to her about the festival argument the day after, but I just couldn't figure out a way to confront her about it. It's probably just me being too reluctant to bring things up, but I never really found the right time to talk… ...I should get out of the house for once and stop thinking about these things. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Daijoubu! It'll be a nice change of pace from staying on my computer all day. Gotta get rid of that pasty, pale complexion, haha...ha… At least the weather isn't bad today - it's a regular sunny day, not too hot and not too cold. It's just me, my bag, and… Come to think of it, I don't even know where I'm headed to. Maybe I'll just text Sayori to see how she's doing, although she's probably not awake yet anyway. I haven't hung out with her in a while, and it might prove to be a nice surprise for her. 24. Skip - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST Actually, the more I think about it, the more appealing the idea sounds. I imagine the festival fiasco probably upset her, given how much she cares for the club and the other girls. Can't hurt to see if she's okay and take her mind off it. Besides, I can't imagine she really has much going on, either. I dig out my phone and shoot her a message. scene  Chat Screen posted:Hisao: hey Sayori, what's up? ... No reply. I check the time. Knowing Sayori, she's probably still sleeping. I suppose anything before noon is considered early for her. Then again, I'm not much better. The only reason I'm up so early on a Saturday is because I thought it was a school day. I chuckle to myself. My parents would definitely be surprised if they learned I was up before midday on a Saturday. Dad used to joke around and call me nocturnal, like I was a vampire. Thinking about it, given my sleep cycles, he wasn't wrong. Shame I don't have the ability to turn into a bat, though. Or super speed… Well, at least the weather's nice. It's early October now, which is the best of both worlds. As in, it's not quite as hot as it was in the summer, and the real bite of winter hasn't kicked in yet. It's fairly warm, with fluffy white clouds accompanying the blue skies. Perching down on a bench, I aimlessly flick through my phone while I await Sayori's reply. (Jingle) Finally, my phone goes off.  Chat Window posted:Sayori: hi Hisao! Sorry about the delay, I just woke up lol Called it. Chat Window posted:Hisao: haha don't worry about it just wondered if you wanted to go to the park or something? It's a nice day after all As I slip my phone back into my pocket, I start to aimlessly plan what we'll get up to. There's a park near our house. When we were children, it was almost like a second home to us. So much time spent exploring. We used to get tons of ice cream at the playground, after working the puppy-dog eyes on our parents. In fact, I think it was at that very park that I first met Sayori. Something about ice cream? I'm not even surprised we met, and initially bonded, over food. Good times. (Jingle) Another notification. Chat Window posted:Sayori: okayy i'm good, coming out now!  With Sayori in tow, we make our way over. Already, I'm reminded of the time we spent together last Sunday. I'm hoping today is just as enjoyable. Although last time, she got to learn a little more about me. I didn't get to learn much about her. Well, in the time we've been apart. I've got no idea about how she's finding school, what her interests are, her plans for the future, all that stuff. SAYORI: Soo...I know you said it's meant to be a surprise, but can I get a teeny tiny hint? HISAO: Hmm...should I? SAYORI: Pleaaaseeee? After all, it is super early! I check my watch. It's half past 11… HISAO: Sayori, it's almost noon! SAYORI: Yeah, super early! I mean, she's not wrong… HISAO: Haha, I suppose you've got a point. Alright. I lean in conspiratorially. HISAO: This is super top secret stuff. SAYORI: Understood, agent! HISAO: If I gave you the codename 'Childhood', where would you think? She scrunches up her face, fiddling with a strand of hair in her hands. SAYORI: Uh… s Oooh, I know! Is she going to get it on her first try? I'll be mighty impressed. SAYORI: You're not taking me back to elementary school, are you? Well, that hope got shot down. I can't help but sigh. SAYORI: No? Worth a try, ehehe… HISAO: I'll give you another hint. Do you remember where we first met? SAYORI: It wasn't elementary school, was it? HISAO: If you say that one more time… SAYORI: Ehehe, kidding, kidding! You're kinda fun to wind up sometimes, you know… Makes a change from you always being a meanie to me! HISAO: Ahaha, you love it really. It's the only way I can get you back from all those tricks you used to play on me, you know? SAYORI: Tricks? I don't know what you're talking about~ That innocent, childlike grin is back on her face. Already, I'm glad I decided to text her instead of going back to sleep. HISAO: What about the time you told my Mom that I threw that tennis ball at you so she'd make me give you my candy? Oooooor that time we climbed that tree and got stuck? I told you it'd be too high, but you didn't listen… My dad had to get us down… I grin. HISAO: Although that climb was pretty fun. The view was incredible! SAYORI: Seeeeee? It wasn't all bad! HISAO: Aha, I know. It was all good natured. We used to get up to so much mischief… SAYORI: We sure did, ehe… Anyway, I think I know where we're going! Paku Park, right? HISAO: Ah, so there is something in that head of yours after all then, huh? SAYORI: Hey! 25. Cinnamon - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST HISAO: And so here we are.  SAYORI: Aww, I love this place! s Haven't been here in so long! HISAO: Yeah, me neither. We take a seat on a wooden bench, which affords us a lovely view of the park around us. Children are playing all sorts of ball games as their parents chat amicably. Dogs are running around as their owners laugh and chase them. I smile. Here with Sayori, I truly feel like I'm at home. HISAO: Figured it'd do the both of us good to take a trip down memory lane, eh? Especially after that fiasco of the festival and everything… SAYORI: Ah...yeah. From the change of her tone and expression, the festival still looks like it's bothering her. I can't blame her. All of the club members are feeling it. HISAO: I was hoping by now things would… SAYORI: Go back to how they used to? HISAO: Yeah, that. I mean, yeah, the festival was a bit of a failure, but the club is still a nice little place for us five, right? Sayori looks ahead, idly poking at a twig with her feet. SAYORI: Yeah, it is. I just… I just really wish people weren't so mean. We all practiced super hard, too! All that...for nothing. HISAO: Hey, c'mon Sayori! It's not like you to be so depressing. We shouldn't dwell too much on that, anyway. What's done is done, right? Besides, I want today to be a good day. She blinks as a slightly shameful look crosses her features. SAYORI: Ah...yeah, you're right, Hisao, sorry. HISAO: Nah, don't apologize. After all, it was me who brought it up, so I can't really talk, aha. Anyway, I brought you here because I know this place means a lot to you. I was worried you might be upset, so I was hoping this could cheer you up. SAYORI: Aww, Hisao! You didn't have to do that… HISAO: Well, that, but most importantly I just needed an excuse to get out of the house… She pokes me in the ribs as I laugh. HISAO: And besides, spending time with you on Sunday made me realize that we have a lot to catch up on. So...where do I begin? She giggles. I guess both of us don't know where to start. It's almost like we've just met and don't know what to say to each other. In a strange way, I guess that is the case to some extent. HISAO: I guess I'll start. You know, I've always been curious as to why you joined the Literature Club. I didn't really think poetry was your thing. She leans forward, resting her chin on her knees. SAYORI: Well, Monika and I are actually in the same class! She's the one who told me about it. In a way, I guess I was kinda like you. HISAO: Like me? SAYORI: Yeah. As in, I didn't really think much of poetry. It's not that I didn't like it, I just didn't think too much about it! s But as I joined, and Monika told me more and more about literature… About how poetry can be a really nice way to express yourself… I loved it! Anyone can write poetry, and that's what I really like! It doesn't matter who you are, what your interests are, or how good you are… There's something for everyone. Interesting. Yuri, Monika and Sayori all appreciate poetry for different reasons. I get the sense that Yuri likes poetry as it gives her an opportunity to express deep, complex stuff. Monika seems to be on a similar wavelength to Yuri, but I think she prefers abstract stuff more. Then again, I guess Yuri also uses a lot of abstract themes in her poems? Who knows. I'm still an amateur, hah. Sayori notices my chuckle. SAYORI: What's up? HISAO: Ah, nothing. I was just thinking about how everyone in the club seems to appreciate different things in poetry. Hm...what else, what else… Sayori has a faraway look in her eyes as she asks the next question. SAYORI: I remember...we used to think alike in so many ways. Like...when we used to look at clouds. We'd see a lot of similar things in the sky. So I wonder… Do we still do that? I grin. I had totally forgotten how much we used to enjoy cloud watching, back in the day. Every time I remember something more from our childhoods, it brings a smile to my face. Cloud watching perfectly captured that innocent, carefree essence of nostalgia. HISAO: Ahh...I had totally forgotten about that, aha. mc We really let our imaginations run wild, didn't we? And the best thing is, it worked. SAYORI: Yeah, clouds are so cool like that! What about that one?  She takes my outstretched finger in her hands and points it at a specific spot. HISAO: Aha! Yeah, I can see that one now. This one looks like a fish. SAYORI: Aww! It's so small! Look at that one! It kinda looks like a little frog! Ehehe...this is what I love about clouds. They're so… What's the word? HISAO: Cloudy? Ow. You really like poking me in the ribs, don't you? SAYORI: I was trying to think of the right word! Uhm...I think I heard Yuri say it once… Versatile? I think that means that something is… ... Uwaa… I forgot! Well, it sounds like it fits. HISAO: Yeah, I'd say that's about right. Pretty cool how different people see different things when looking at the exact same one. SAYORI: I wonder what the other girls would see… HISAO: Fluffy kittens for Natsuki, and something spooky with Yuri. SAYORI: You've really know them well, huh?~ What do you think Monika would see? HISAO: Uh… mc A piano? I mean, you can interpret a cloud however you want, right? I'm just thinking of stuff that reminds me of her, haha. SAYORI: Well I'm happy that we still cloud-gaze the same way! HISAO: Yeah, that makes two of us. I was kinda worried that maybe we'd...I dunno, drifted too far apart. mc So much so that we'd be totally different people. But that doesn't look to be the case. SAYORI: Yeah. By the way, Hisao, I've been meaning to ask you... How are you doing in school? HISAO: Geez Sayori, that's...a kinda boring question, don't you think? SAYORI: Don't try and worm out of this one, mister! I still worry about you, you know? I just want to know if you're doing fine, that's all… HISAO: Haha, there's nothing to worry about. I'm doing just fine. You sound a bit like Mom. SAYORI: I can't tell if that's a compliment or an insult… HISAO: A mystery we'll take to our graves, eh? Her subsequent pout makes me chuckle. HISAO: If I got you a popsicle, would that make you less pouty with me? SAYORI: Hmmph. You think you can change my mood with food, huh? ...Depends on the flavor. Mental note to self. If Sayori is ever actually annoyed with me, just get her something sweet. Who knows when that information will come in handy later?  The more I think about it, perhaps I was wrong to worry we'd have changed too much. After all, I'm pretty much still the same person. Six or so years isn't that much time, I guess? One thing that hasn't changed is how much she loves to explore, and how much her imagination accommodates that. Forests weren't just forests; they were part of a magical land, inhabited by an array of mythical creatures. Beaches weren't just sand and sea; they were a tropical paradise, home to countless happy childhood memories. Searching for crabs, aimlessly splashing in the sea, checking out hidden coves… Sayori could even transform our homes into something they weren't. We used to jump from sofa to sofa, chair to chair, pretending that the floor was lava. That game never got old. And I'm pretty sure every kid on the planet has played it, too.  HISAO: You know something, Sayori? SAYORI: Hmmm? She's slightly ahead of me, ducking under a tree branch. We're now in the forest part of the park. HISAO: I've had a sudden realization as to why your poems are so good. SAYORI: Aha...ehe, they're not that good… HISAO: No, seriously. Your imagination has always been super strong. All those games we used to play as children… You were always part of your own little world. And it shows in your poems. SAYORI: I'm glad you picked up on it! Writing poems is half the fun - the other half is showing them to people! Especially when they like what you've written! HISAO: What's your thought process while you write your poems? Like...how do you write them? SAYORI: Hmm...I just go with my heart! I guess it's kinda tricky to explain? I think it just depends on my mood! Like...when I wrote 'Dear Sunshine', I was in a pretty good mood. HISAO: More like you were just hungry, given you wrote it while you were eating breakfast… SAYORI: I was in a good mood because I was eating breakfast! Anyway, so with 'Bottles'... Well, I guess I was thinking about how much I want people to be happy. So, that's the answer to your question! It just depends on my mood and what I happen to be thinking about. I wonder how the others do it… HISAO: Yeah, me too, actually. Would be kinda interesting to see how you all approach poetry. Although I think I wouldn't be able to understand how someone like Yuri does it. Her poetry still goes over my head, haha. SAYORI: Good to know I'm not the only one! HISAO: Although...what about your 'Fairy Tale' poem? What was your thought process behind that one? SAYORI: Oh...that one. There's an immediate shift in atmosphere. SAYORI: There wasn't really one. I just felt like writing it, I guess. HISAO: But you said you write your poems based on what you're thinking of, or feeling, at the time, right? SAYORI: What about you, Hisao? How do you write yours? I should've known she would still be a little cagey about that one. Thinking back to her behavior on that Friday, I guess it's to be expected. Just what is it about that poem, and her behavior, that bothers me so much? Is it because it shows a side to Sayori that's totally new to me, one that I'm not used to? Or because I know there's still something she isn't telling me? SAYORI: Hisao? HISAO: Huh? Oh. Sorry. I was spacing out a little bit… Uhm...well, I guess I'm similar to you, I suppose? I just pick a bunch of words that best describe what I'm thinking about, and then write a poem based on those. To be honest, I'm not really experienced enough to give you a proper answer. I kind of make it up on the spot, haha. But it's worked so far, so I'm not complaining. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - My Feelings Sayori pauses, looking around at the copse surrounding us. She walks up to a large tree and plants herself down in front of it. I follow suit, resting my back against the sturdy trunk, admiring the soft rays as they penetrate the branches.  SAYORI: What you said reminds me of something Monika once told me. Something about if you don't have confidence, just fake it until people believe you do. She turns to face me, a thoughtful expression on her face. SAYORI: Sometimes I wonder if she really is confident, or it's all just a show. I get the feeling that sometimes, you can never tell with people. I blink. That was remarkably...insightful, for Sayori. A more reflective mood seems to have fallen upon her. HISAO: No idea, to be honest. She seems pretty genuine. I mean, she was like this when I first met her as well, so that would be an awful long time to wear that mask. I wouldn't have expected that sorta question from you, though. Why'd you ask? She smiles mischievously. SAYORI: Sometimes it's nice to surprise people, ehehe. HISAO: What d'ya mean? SAYORI: Well… Let me ask you, Hisao. If you had to describe me in a few words, which words would you choose? HISAO: Uhm… Bubbly? And...hm. Light-hearted? And...adventurous. I've always seen you as quite kind. You know, given how you're always concerned with how happy other people are. I guess your most definitive trait is your happiness. Like...you always seem so cheerful, at ease with the world. I kinda wish I could be like that, sometimes. Although from what I've sort of picked up on, just like everyone else, you still feel down from time to time. Right?  She looks on ahead, a faraway look on her face. It's not exactly sad, but there's a certain air of...what? Wonder? Nostalgia? SAYORI: See, that's what I mean. Everyone picks up on those things you mentioned, but they'd find me asking this question a bit… Unlike me, if you get what I'm saying? I guess it's because of how I act in the Literature Club. Aside from with my poetry, I never really talk about deeper things, or things that aren't just aimlessly happy. I guess I just don't want to bother people with that sort of stuff. HISAO: Bother them? Why would it bother them, Sayori? SAYORI: Ah...well, maybe that isn't the right word. Sorry, ehe...I've never really been that good at expressing myself in person. It's much easier to do it in a poem… HISAO: It's okay. I've never really been good at it either, haha. SAYORI: A lot of the time I like to think about the past, and how things used to be. I told Natsuki about this. She giggles softly. SAYORI: And Natsuki thinks I live in the past. But I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Do you? HISAO: Nah - if you're happy, what's the issue? It's only natural that you'd want to think about the good times that brought a smile to your face, right? When we first started talking again, I used to look back on all our shared memories from all those years ago. From when we first met and bonded over ice cream, to me winning Mr. Cow for you, to helping you with homework… I remember our parents used to say we were pretty much inseparable. SAYORI: Mmm. Everyone has their happy thoughts which keep them going, right? HISAO: Stored away in bottles, eh? SAYORI: Of course!~ She sighs contentedly. SAYORI: Sorry, I didn't mean to bore you or anything… HISAO: Bore me? Really Sayori, you're sounding a bit like Yuri. I haven't seen this side of you before, and I really like it. As much as I enjoy our playful banter, this made for a really nice change of pace. Besides, I always like talking to you. SAYORI: Thank you, Hisao. I worry about...well- HISAO: Sayori, people are always going to enjoy being your friend, even if you're not super chipper all the time. It's okay, seriously. Just be yourself, don't hide anything. I'll be here, don't you worry. I reach over and squeeze her hand, smiling reassuringly. SAYORI: ... Sayori noticeably fidgets, looking rather uneasy about something. (Silence) HISAO: What's wrong? SAYORI: Actually, there is something I could tell you… I don't know if it's a good idea, though… My heart starts to race as a million questions start whizzing around my head. Is this about Fairy Tale? Her behavior on Friday? Some other secret that's coming right out of the blue? Or perhaps...something else entirely? HISAO: ...Sayori? SAYORI: The truth is, I- (Ringtone Sound) If disappointment ever had a sound, it would sound like a ringing phone. With a groan, I fumble into my pocket, glaring at the offending object, as if it knows it's responsible for ruining such a moment. It's my mother. I haven't spoken to her in a long time; in fact, the last time we spoke was before I joined the Literature Club. HISAO: I'm really sorry Sayori, I'm going to have to take this. A strange smile is on her face. She shakes her head. SAYORI: No no, it's fine. Don't worry about it. play music family_bonds  HISAO: Hi, Mom. Haven't spoken to you in a while, hope you've been good!  MOM: Hisao! Sorry it's been so long! Work has been so hectic over the past few weeks. HISAO: And there I was thinking you'd forgotten about me. MOM: Don't be silly! I always worry about you. HISAO: I know, Mom. It was just a joke. MOM: Ah, you and your sarcasm… You must've got that from your father. How have you been, anyway? Are you eating well? Exercizing daily? Drinking lots of wa- HISAO: Woah woah, slow down. I've been doing juuuuust fine. I've actually joined a club. MOM: Oh wow, that's wonderful! What kind of club is it? HISAO: Literature, funnily enough. Poems and stuff. Sayori told me about it, as she's the vice-president. MOM: I hope you stick with it! HISAO: Yeah, I don't think the girls would forgive me if I left, haha. MOM: Girls, you said? Uh oh. HISAO: Aaaaaaaanyway, now's not really a great time as I'm just chilling with Sayori. You know, at that park you used to always take us to. MOM: Oh, you're with Sayori? How's she doing? HISAO: We're having a catch up session, actually. She's not changed too much. Anyway, can I call you back later? Kinda cutting her off right now. MOM: Of course, of course! I have the evening off, so we can talk then, okay? HISAO: Sure thing. mom Before I go...you are remembering to eat, right? I roll my eyes, before realizing she can't see that. HISAO: Yes, Mom, of course I'm remembering to eat. What am I, going on a fast or something? Or d'ya think I'm five? I can see Sayori giggling out of the corner of my eye. HISAO: If I were you, I'd be more concerned about Sayori. Lazy girl can't even get out of bed. I grin as I see her laugh turn into a childish frown. MOM: Oh, stop teasing her, Hisao. You're so mean to her sometimes… HISAO: Geez, you sound like her. Anyway, gotta go. Talk to you later, okay? Love you. MOM: Love you too, bye! (Silence, Hangup Sound) HISAO: Sorry about that. Had no idea she'd call. SAYORI: Ehe, it's okay. You haven't spoken to her in a while, so it was nice to hear you two talking again. HISAO: Mmm. Anyway, what were you saying? You wanted to tell me something? Sayori isn't sitting down by the tree anymore. She's standing up, and looks ready to go.  SAYORI: Oh, don't worry about that~ It was nothing important. HISAO: You sure? It seemed kinda serious. 25. Cinnamon - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST SAYORI: It's okay. I'm kinda hungry, anyway. Can we stop by a cafe on the way home? HISAO: You literally just had a popsicle! SAYORI: Well...you know what they say! HISAO: And what would that be? SAYORI: Uhm...the fridge is a clear example that what matters is on the inside! I stare at her. HISAO: What does that even have to do with anything? SAYORI: It's about food? HISAO: You know what, let's just go and get whatever you want. We'll be here for a while if I try to understand what goes on in Sayori's head.  One tasty lunchtime meal later, Sayori's appetite is finally sated. It's getting to the late afternoon at this point. HISAO: Hey, Sayori. Not that I didn't enjoy today, but I think I'm gonna have to call it there. There's a mountain of homework I haven't even started that's due on Monday, and I don't think Sakurai is gonna be happy with me if it's late. SAYORI: Hmm? Her face still has traces of chocolate all over it. She hastily attempts to wipe it off. SAYORI: Oh, that's okay! I probably should do the same, ehehe… We've reached my house. HISAO: Okay, well I'll see you on Monday then. Have a good one. She waves cheerily. SAYORI: Bye, Hisao! Thanks again for today. HISAO: No worries. Sorry I ruined it with the phone call. SAYORI: You didn't - it's okay! What a fun evening this will be. END OF ACT 1 Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 17:43 on Apr 28, 2022 |
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Apr 26, 2022 01:33
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sounds fun! Just gimme a few minutes to get ready, okay? 
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Tulip posted:I mean that's what I'm seeing. DDLC implies a lot about these characters and how their personalities fit together, and we're starting to see at this point pretty clearly how Sayori fits together. Where I'm expecting this to go is to dig into the practical and emotional depth of that. Speaking of, man Hisao is loving stepping in it here and making it harder for Sayori to be open.  Hisao original flavor could be dense as a stone sometimes, but at least he was perceptive enough to pick up on other characters’ needs.
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Apr 27, 2022 16:59
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Dirk the Average posted:Certainly, but my point is that he doesn't know about her depression. He does pick up on the fact that something is wrong, and also that she doesn't want to talk about it. It’s less an issue of bad writing (it isn’t) and more that it’s unpleasant to read as he makes some very realistic and very familiar mistakes, I think. Very Greek tragedy on a smaller scale, and while it doesn’t decrease the quality of the work, that can be painful to watch.
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Apr 28, 2022 15:38
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Update 15: Act I - Context I came into Doki Doki Blue Skies after spending the better part of a year on Katawa Shoujo. In theory, they have a lot in common; they’re both English-language visual novels with several routes, each of which features a disabled romantic lead that subverts a character archetype. In practice? Well, it’s honestly too early for me to say. I had the benefit of nearly a decade of hindsight going into that game, but here I have a script (disjointed as it is), some background knowledge, and the magic of literary analysis at my side, and not much else. It doesn’t hurt that the first act is substantially shorter and simpler than in KS, giving me less to work with. I’ll be doing more conclusion-wise at the end of each route, but for now it’s worth cracking at what we have the see what we can extract from it. Update 14 posted:
Like, a while back I was playing another game, a sort of dating sim featuring, among others, a typically possessive and borderline violent yandere (I will never not be shocked they put a definition for yandere into Wiktionary). So far, so stereotypical. But as time went on, I realized she was spending her mornings sleeping in and evenings staring out into space, so I found myself mentally checking the “depression” checkbox and keeping an eye out on how that developed. Turns out? I was right. Over time, the game reveals her childhood so abusive and neglectful it stunted her growth (depression, while often inborn, often develops after trauma); the clinginess and possessiveness grew out of a desire to keep the only thing that ever made her feel alive. As time goes on and she adapts to a more stable and supportive environment, she starts actually addressing her trauma and opening up to the people around her, learning how to handle her emotions in the process; she develops a sense of empathy based on her own suffering that gradually turns her from the scary weirdo that threatens people she doesn’t like to the emotional core of the group (and that kind of hard-fought emotional intelligence is something I’ll go into at the end of Sayori’s route). Her symptoms never really go away, but that’s kind of how neurodiversity works: you don’t defeat your condition, you learn to live with and use it. But because her behavior doesn’t match the depression stereotype, when the game explicitly confirmed it near the end of her route I bet it blindsided a lot of players. Update 10 posted:
Update 3 posted:
Update 4 posted:
.Update 10 posted:
Update 13 posted:She stays completely still as I sidle up to her side, leaning on the railing so that I can see her face. I don't know what I expected...but her expression is oddly calm.
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Apr 28, 2022 20:53
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So, a thing occurred to me. Normally, I leave the commentary to the route conclusions, disability corners, and occasional supplementary posts; I like presenting a clean experience. It's been brought to my attention that at least a few readers disagree and actually LIKE in-update commentary. I genuinely don't know what the thread as a whole would prefer, though. So, apropos of nothing, poll time! Please vote yes or no on extended in-update commentary!
Vote closes in ~48 hours!
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Apr 30, 2022 22:16
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Update 16: With a sudden jolt of reality, I realize I'm back in the present. 2. Sayori's Theme - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST As we kick off a new route, we get a new main menu theme when we boot up the game. Sayori’s Theme is bright and lighthearted for the most part, working in the same leitmotifs the mod’s main theme uses with ukuleles and snaps, but with a subtly melancholy tone that kinda fits where we are when starting out the route – especially since we’re shaking up the formula. As requested, you’ll be seeing more commentary in these updates from now on. Between the extra writing load and real-life considerations (mostly the latter tbh), we’ll be dropping to M/Th permanently. Tragic. But whoever heard of a screenshot LP with a set update schedule ?Let me know what you think of what I’m touching on and what I’m skipping; I’m always happy to improve my work, and of course making yourself heard in response to this LP is kind of the point.  ACT 2 (Silence, Obnoxious Alarm Sound) As the sound of my alarm makes its unwelcome presence in my bedroom, I can't help but wonder. Do I even need an education? I could totally just become a video game streamer. Reluctantly, I sit up and stretch. I just hope I don't run into any of those pricks who ruined our festival. Not to mention, I hope they aren't giving any of the club members any flak. Especially Sayori. ... At least Sakurai is cool. 25. Cinnamon - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST Surprisingly, Sayori is already there by the time I arrive.  SAYORI: Good morning~ I give her a mockingly suspicious look. HISAO: You know, for someone who sleeps in a lot, you sure are chipper in the mornings. SAYORI: Hey! Am I not allowed to be happy? HISAO: Aha, of course you are, Sayori. Ready for another super exciting and totally not boring day at school? SAYORI: Ready as I'll ever be! How about you? HISAO: Ehhh...could be worse, I guess. I'm enjoying history a lot, actually. Sakurai is a really good teacher. SAYORI: Oh yeah, I remember you saying! We're pretty lucky to have him, aren't we? HISAO: Definitely. I didn't think anyone could top Makoto last year, but Sakurai has somehow managed to pull it off. I guess it helps that history is a decent subject. SAYORI: I've always preferred those kinds of subjects myself too! HISAO: What d'ya mean? SAYORI: You know! Japanese, history... Anything that isn't math. Or physics... HISAO: Still not much of a science kinda girl, eh? SAYORI: Nope~ HISAO: Heh, didn't think so. You were always better than me when it came to the more creative subjects, though. Looking back, when we helped each other out with our homework, I guess we covered each other's weaknesses, huh? SAYORI: We sure did! I remember we used to doodle on each other's work, too! You even handed in that science homework once, and you didn't even realize I'd drawn a bunch of animals all over it! Sayori laughs just as school looms in sight. Her giggles, coupled with the sudden remembrance of that silly memory, causes a warm feeling to wash over me. I had totally forgotten about that. My science teacher on the other hand...well, let's just say he didn't expect a bunch of cats, rabbits and dogs to be on that worksheet. HISAO: Well, we were learning about evolution, so I guess you drawing all those animals was fitting, right? SAYORI: Of cooooourse! It totally wasn't me just getting my revenge from you pulling that planets prank... Oh, that was something I'll never forget. HISAO: Ahaha, you mean the Uranus joke? The fact that Sayori can't help but giggle when she hears the name is testimony to how she's truly a child at heart. SAYORI: ... Yes. I grin at her. Although she initially tries to pout… She can never hold an angry face, even when she's joking. Sayori, being blissfully ignorant at the time, asked me what was so funny about the planet's name. I told her to ask her mother how Uranus was looking, and she actually did. Distinctly, I can remember being in utter hysterics when her mother was both parts confused and stern with her daughter for apparently asking such a rude question. Definitely one of my little personal victories. HISAO: Ahahaha... C'mon, you have to admit we got each other good. SAYORI: Hmph. HISAO: Anyway, I'll catch you at lunchtime. See ya. SAYORI: Byee! 8. Student at Heart - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST As I make my way over to my classroom, the typical school scene greets me. Students of varying ages making their way to wherever they need to be, no doubt bracing themselves for the drag that is Monday morning. The sounds of chattering and laughter fill the atmosphere as I spot a few familiar faces. Occasionally, a teacher admonishes a laggy student, no doubt reminding them to not be late for homeroom. Outside my classroom, I peer through the window. There's a few of my classmates there already. Sakurai himself looks like he's only just arrived.  SAKURAI: Ah, Hisao. Good morning. How was your weekend? HISAO: Morning, sir. Not bad, not bad. Haven't woken up that early on a Saturday for a while, so I figured I'd make the most of it. Would you believe me if I told you I spent it enjoying the outdoors and getting homework done? There's a mischievous twinkle in Sakurai's eye as he answers. SAKURAI: Why, Hisao, of course I would. After all, given your impeccable history with handing in homework on time, I would be hard pressed not to. Granted, there may have been one or two times where I was guilty of the very same thing. At least Sakurai is fairly relaxed about missing the odd deadline. I check the clock hanging on the wall. It's almost time to start, and a few last minute-stragglers hurriedly make their way in. Most people are here at this point. Sakurai is sitting by his desk, a pen between his fingers and a thoughtful look on his face. Emi hurriedly makes her way past the door and into her seat next to me. Kind of ironic how she's on the track team, yet still the last one in, which Sakurai picks up on. SAKURAI: Ah, Emi! He leans back in his chair as Emi looks up at him with as innocent a face as she can muster. EMI: Yes, sir? SAKURAI: How is it that a member of the school's track team is the slowest one to arrive? Light chuckles fill the room. Sakurai's banter with his students is always amusing to witness. EMI: Weeeell...I'm not technically late, am I?   SHIORI: She does have a point, sir. EMI: See? Even the class rep is on my side! SAKURAI: C'mon Shiori, what happened to respecting authority? SHIORI: I'm not the one who makes the rules, sir~ As if on cue, the bell rings, a moment after Emi slips into her seat. SAKURAI: Cutting it pretty close... Now that everyone is here, let's get started. Now, believe me when I say that the First World War is one of the most interesting things you'll ever study in school. Although your science teachers may beg to differ. So, a conflict involving nations from all across the world, continent to continent. With soldiers as well as civilians involved in the fighting, it truly changed the geopolitical climate for many of the combatants involved. As he talks, his trademark enthusiasm shines through. It's almost like he was born to be a teacher. SAKURAI: Now, can anyone tell me the year it started? Bonus points if you can explain how it began. And before anyone asks, no, 'bonus points' does not mean exemption from homework for a week. Maybe Monday morning won't be so boring after all. The rest of the lesson passes by fairly quickly, and before I know it, it's lunchtime 25. Cinnamon - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST  SAYORI: You're looking a bit livelier! HISAO: Sakurai has that effect on us. We're also learning about the First World War, which's pretty interesting. SAYORI: You're right - it is! Although it's so sad thinking about all of those soldiers who died... In such horrible ways, too! HISAO: For sure. They were hoping it would be a war to end all wars... Yet twenty years later they were at it again. Anyway, how was your morning? What subject did you have? SAYORI: Eeeeh...physics. In the morning! Hisao, that's so unfair! We should have a subject I enjoy on a Monday morning. HISAO: Sleeping isn't a subject, though. Dammit. As we’ve discussed, our protagonist has a nasty habit of seizing on symptoms to make fun of and praising personality traits that cover-up deeper issues. If you’re familiar with the term microaggressions, well, we get those too, often is not around competence (Protip: don’t swoop in to help a disabled person unless you think they’re actually struggling with something, and if you do, ask first and listen to the answer). But this kind of poking fun at how serious issues manifest can be extremely damaging, especially because it’s usually unintentional. What we’re seeing here isn’t all that egregious, but when it gets bad it can break people. I do hope the game eventually sets time aside to examine this behavior. SAYORI: Hey! I like Japanese too, you know! Japanese, history...even stuff like English. The subjects where I can express myself a bit more. HISAO: You know, given how you're in a literature club, it all makes sense now. As in, why you prefer subjects like Japanese. More creative subjects, where you can write stories, poems, that sort of thing. SAYORI: Yeah! Plus, I don't think I'll ever need to work out the area of a triangle in real life. Well, I really hope not! Whereas stuff that we learn about in Japanese helps with writing poems. Although I don't think the teacher was happy when she found me trying to write a poem in her class, ehehe... But it's not my fault, right? She looks at me with puppy dog eyes and in that moment, it hits me just how adorable Sayori can be. With those big blue eyes, it's impossible to say no to her, and... Wait a minute, where is this coming from? HISAO: Huh? Erm...yeah, no, definitely not your fault. A-Anyway, what's that you've got? I motion to the food in front of her. It's fairly obvious what's she's eating - but I needed a quick change of topic to cover...whatever it was that just came over me. SAYORI: Eeh? You mean this? It's a cinnamon bun. Mwher're mreary dericious, mmmm... HISAO: Sayori, I couldn't get a word of that. But I'm guessing you're enjoying it, haha. She loudly gulps down the sugary delight. SAYORI: Sorry. Yeah, it's so yummy! Do you want to try some? HISAO: Can't hurt. As she tears off a piece and reaches forward, I'm struck by how soft and warm her hands are. It's only a brief moment of contact, but it's enough to ignite that weird, warm feeling within. ... Snap out of it! I pop it into my mouth and savor the sweet taste filling my tastebuds. HISAO: Mmmm. Remind me to get some of my own. SAYORI: I'm planning on tactically snacking on these during class this afternoon. That's one way of getting me through a boring school day! HISAO: Well, if it works, it works. Just like that, the alarm rings, signifying the end of the lunch break. Back to it, I guess. Waving goodbye to Sayori, we make our respective ways back to our classrooms. 23. Our Next Chapter - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST  8. Student at Heart - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST Another day, another lesson. Thankfully, it's a Friday, meaning the tempting allure of the weekend beckons. Just one more day to sit through… As Sakurai explains the origins of the war, my mind can't help but drift away. Who was it who decided we should have five working days, but only two days off? Man, that seems mighty unfair if you ask me. A four day week and three day weekend sounds so much better. I know Sayori would definitely agree. Probably not Monika though, given how hard she works. Speaking of Sayori, I wonder what she's up to. I've noticed that she's been on my mind a little more than usual. Even when I was at home, just playing video games in an effort to procrastinate on my homework. Knowing her, she's probably doodling instead of paying attention. Then again, I'm daydreaming myself. I guess shorter attention spans are something we both suffer from. It's a little on the warm side in here, anyway. And Sakurai wouldn't mind too much if I spaced out, right…? ... Spending more time with Sayori recently has made me think... 27. Rose Tinted Glasses - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST  DAD: Hey, Hisao! Don't run too far off ahead! HISAO: Sorry Daddy, I just wanna play… MOM: Such a ball of energy, aren't you? mom Don't worry. Your dad and I will keep an eye on you. mom Oh, and here's some money. mom Buy something from the ice cream truck. DAD: Would you like us to come with you? HISAO: No, it's okay! I'm a big boy now, remember? MOM: Of course, darling. How could we ever forget? Dad grins as he reaches out to affectionately ruffle my hair. DAD: Of course you are, son. Now, go out there and have fun. I barely hear him as I take off, bound toward the ice-cream truck. ... As I'm lining up, my mind runs crazy at the thought of all the different flavors and choices. Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, mint… It's great! The line shuffles forward, and I dig into my pockets and bring out the money. They've given me more than I need for the ice-cream. Awesome! That means I can get more than one! I quickly look around me, trying to spot my parents. They're sitting on a bench, chatting away. They won't notice! Awww yeah, this is the best day ever! ... Huh? Who's this?  Note the unique little Sayori sprite. Standing to the left of me is a young girl. She's looking sadly at the ice-cream truck in front of me. Why's she looking sad, though? All of the other kids are happy. She should be happy! There's ice-cream right here. HISAO: Hey! The girl jumps a little. HISAO: Sorry, sorry! I uh...didn't mean to scare you. She turns to look at me, giving me a wide smile. Huh? Wasn't she sad just a minute ago? SAYORI: It's okay! I'm Sayori! HISAO: H-Hi, Sayori… I'm Hisao. I uhm… Saw you looking sad. Do you want some ice-cream? That makes me happy when I'm feeling sad! SAYORI: Ice-cream? For me? You'd buy that for me? HISAO: Sure! My mommy gave me too much money, hehe. I would've got two ice-creams for myself. But you looked sad, and I don't like seeing my friends sad! Sayori looks at the floor. She looks kinda shy. SAYORI: Are you sure? HISAO: Yeah! Now c'mon, which one do you want? SAYORI: Ooo, thank you, thank you! The ci...cin...cinna… ...That one, with the long name! HISAO: The cimma...cimnanon? SAYORI: Yeah! HISAO: Okay! I hand it over to her, taking mine from the ice-cream man. SAYORI: Thanks again! HISAO: That's okay! Do you want to be friends? Her eyes light up and she shows me a bright smile. SAYORI: Okay! Do you want to go by the swings? HISAO: I'll race you there! SAYORI: Hey! No fair! HISAO: Heh, you didn't say when to start!  SAYORI: Thanks for being my friend, Hisao. I'm new here, and I don't have any other friends... HISAO: No problem! You're really cool, and it's nice to make a new friend. SAYORI: Ehehe… ... ???: Ah, there you are! SAYORI: Hi Mommy. SAYORI’S MOM: Ah, I see you've made a new friend! sm Who might this be, Sayori? SAYORI: That's Hisao! He got me this cinna...cimmanon popsicle! SAYORI’S MOM: Ah, did he now? HISAO: She was looking really sad! I thought it would cheer her up. SAYORI’S MOM: That's very nice of you, Hisao. sm Sayori, do you mind explaining to Hisao why you didn't have money for the popsicle in the first place? SAYORI: Wawawa- Do I have to? SAYORI’S MOM: Come on. SAYORI: Okay, okay… I was being a bit naughty earlier… Mommy told me not to eat all of the candy before dinner yesterday… But I just couldn't help it! So she said I wasn't allowed to get a popsicle today… SAYORI’S MOM: Indeed. So, she was being punished for it. Oh no. Is she angry at me? HISAO: I'm sorry! I didn't know that she was in trouble… SAYORI’S MOM: ...Although I'm glad you made a new friend, Sayori. HISAO: Huh? She laughs softly. Man, Sayori really looks like her... SAYORI’S MOM: Don't you worry, Hisao. sm You were very kind. sm And it already looks like you two are great friends already. sm It's okay. HISAO: Whew…  8. Student at Heart - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST SAKURAI: Hisao! HISAO: Huh? What? With a sudden jolt of reality, I realize I'm back in the present. Given the way Sakurai is looking at me, he clearly noticed me dozing off. Oops. SAKURAI: I'm going to assume you fell asleep because you stayed up late doing some reading about the war. HISAO: Errr...yes, sir, of course. SAKURAI: Excellent! Then you'll be able to answer this next question without any difficulty. I gulp. Yeah, he got me in a trap there. Let's hope it's not too unreasonable… SAKURAI: Can you explain to me how Great Britain got involved in the war? Okay, this one I actually know. I vaguely remember Sakurai talking about this yesterday. Luckily, I'm able to answer his question satisfactorily. To compress a complicated topic down to a paragraph, British foreign policy since they stopped pretending they still had a chance of taking over France has boiled down to keeping the smelly Europeans occupied in their continent, leaving their blessed isles alone. After they got Napoleon’s exile to finally stick, they gave modern Belgium and Luxembourg to the Netherlands, hoping to make local counterbalance against France and Prussia. The Dutch immediately hosed it up and drove it into open revolt. The British basically stepped in and work out a compromise with everyone involved; the rebelling territories were now their own brand-new kingdom named after the old Roman province in the area because nobody could think of anything better, then publicly promised to go to war with anyone that tried to mess with them. The Netherlands wasn’t happy, but they were told they got to keep Luxembourg and could otherwise get hosed. Belgium industrialized fast, solidified its nascent national identity, and developed a strong enough reputation for neutrality the European powers ended up giving them a huge chunk of Africa to commit crimes against humanity in when they couldn’t agree would get it. By the time the Germans tried to flank France as World War I kicked off by going through Belgium, the UK already favored France (their mutual hatred had devolved into an anime rivalry) over Germany (which might have been strong enough to violate the smelly Europeans clause), but Belgium sealed the deal and let them finally move in.You asked for commentary and now you’re getting it. After what feels like an eternity, a wry smile appears on his face. SAKURAI: That late night study session really paid off, it seems… He shoots me a knowing smile. I weakly grin back. That was close. Luckily, by the time I woke up, most of the class has already passed. Just how long was I out for…? SAKURAI: Anyway, as the bell is about to ring, I figured I should finish my lesson before it rings, for once... Even though I'm confident that you would rather learn about the intricacies of the war than go to lunch. As if by a stroke of fate, Sakurai's stomach rumbles. He wearily rubs his face and laughs dejectedly. SAKURAI: Well, if that isn't an example of deus-ex machina, then I don't know what is. A smattering of laughter fills the room. SAKURAI: Class dismissed, everyone. Everyone begins packing away their things and heading for the door, no doubt eager to refuel after the morning's session. SAKURAI: Hisao, a word, if you will? Oh, drat. Why do I get the feeling this is to do with me falling asleep? As the last student files out, I gingerly approach Sakurai's desk, a hint of resignation in my gait. SAKURAI: Don't worry, there's no need to look so worried. You're not in trouble or anything like that. HISAO: You had me scared, sir. I think every student dreads hearing those words, aha. 'Can we have a word?' Or 'Can you see me after class?' SAKURAI: If it's any consolation, Hisao, you'll still fear those words even after graduation. HISAO: Oh? Mischief at university, sir? SAKURAI: Now now, that would be telling. Anyway, I'm getting a little side-tracked. I just wanted to know how you were getting on in class. With the course, that is. HISAO: Oh...well, it's going pretty well, I'd say. History is one of my favorite subjects, and World War One is an interesting topic. Plus your teaching style sits really well with me. And I'm uh...sorry for falling asleep in class. I know it was a little disrespectful...I just had an uh, late night. There's a knowing look in Sakurai's eyes as he dismissively waves away my apology. SAKURAI: Not to worry, Hisao. I know high school can be a trying period, especially when you have a lot going on. Besides, you answered my question correctly, so it's fair to assume you at least have some idea of what I'm talking about. I can't help but grin at him. With the friendly, understanding aura he emanates, sometimes you forget he's a teacher. SAKURAI: Although if you could try and refrain from falling asleep again, that would be much appreciated. Although his tone remains light and friendly, there's an edge of sternness to his voice. I guess it must be pretty disheartening as a teacher if one of your students falls asleep in your class. HISAO: Oh, yeah, of course. Won't happen again, sir. SAKURAI: Good, good. Well, I just wanted to check up on you. You're doing well, so I'm satisfied. Do let me know if that changes. I'd be happy to assist where I can. Now, I shouldn't be denying you your well-earned lunch break. HISAO: Haha, thanks. Have a good one too, sir. With a nod, he dismisses me and returns to his desk. As I make my to the courtyard, I notice Yuri, sitting by herself, lost in a book. As I approach her, I pause. Should I ask her to join me?  She does look a little lonely, and we're all friends, right? >Invite Yuri. >Don't invite Yuri. Our first choice of the route. Act I ran off a simple number counter, but I don’t know how the rest of the game works behind the scenes. I’ll get some insight into how various decisions impact which endings we get (each route has several, ranging from unambiguously good to outright tragic) by reading the code around various choices, but I’m kinda steering by the seat of my pants here. This way I can test the game’s logic a bit, comparing the theory I know with their design choices; we’ll see what leads to what else a little more naturally that way.Anyway, this choice? We already know Yuri’s socially isolated and in desperate need of friends. I know I’d have liked somebody to reach out and bring me into their social group when I was sitting alone at lunch back in high school. Well, sometimes; sometimes you really do want to be alone, and sometimes you’re just not in the mood to socialize. I find repeated gentle invitations tend to work wonders, but I doubt we have an option of doing that. Let’s just be nice here. =>Invite Yuri. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Daijoubu! As much as I think Yuri is someone who is comfortable being by herself, I think it'll be nice to have some new company during lunch. Besides, she gets along with Sayori and I. She looks really lost in thought. Never without her books, is she? HISAO: Hey, Yuri.  She jumps slightly, eyes widening at the sudden disturbance. Oops. I forgot she startles easily. YURI: Oh, g-good afternoon, Hisao. HISAO: Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. YURI: It's okay. I was just very much immersed in this book. HISAO: I was going to invite you to sit with Sayori and I, but if you'd rather be left alone…? A pensive look crosses her face. I get the feeling she isn't used to social invitations. YURI: M-Me? HISAO: The one and only. YURI: Are you sure? I wouldn't want to disturb your conversation. HISAO: Don't sweat it, it's fine. Ah, well, if you're sure…  Leading the way, I spot Sayori in the courtyard and take a seat opposite her on one of the benches. Yuri follows suit. SAYORI: Heya, Yuri! How's your week been? YURI: It's been enjoyable so far. Learning a lot of interesting things… It's definitely stimulating. Although I am glad it's the weekend coming up. HISAO: Yeah, Sayori and I are with you on that. YURI: How about you two? How has your week gone? SAYORI: It's been okay! Some lessons are kinda boring though... Still trying to wrap my head around some of the stuff we're doing in math… Japanese is going well, though! We've been looking at literary techniques and how they can apply to poetry, so I think I might be able to try new stuff with my poems! YURI: Oh? Well, I look forward to seeing that, Sayori. HISAO: Yeah, same. Monika will probably appreciate it too. Speaking of which, we're having a meeting with the club after school today. SAYORI: Yep! We'll be focusing on what to do for Halloween. It'll be a lot of fun! HISAO: That's right up your alley, eh Yuri? YURI: How so? HISAO: Well, Halloween is all about horror, right? And your poems typically focus on darker themes. YURI: Ah. Yes, indeed. She smiles dreamily. I guess a day dedicated to horror is like a dream come true for her. YURI: There's definitely a lot of room for creativity when it comes to that genre. Horror is ever so expansive… SAYORI: I don't like that stuff too much! Sometimes it can get really scary… YURI: Huhu, not a big fan of fear, Sayori? ... Sorry, that didn't sound too...ominous, or weird, did it? Uuu… SAYORI: Not at all! I've always admired how you stick to your interests. It's really cool to see. Don't worry about it! YURI: Ah...well, that's reassuring to hear, I suppose… HISAO: Makes for some nice variety in the club, Yuri. The bell rings, cutting short our conversation. HISAO: Well...time to get these last few hours over with. See you both in the club. SAYORI: Seeya guys! She cheerily waves. YURI: Until then. If we leave Yuri alone, the other two end up eating lunch together. They start doing that awkward sort-of-flirting thing kids do when they’re into each other and don’t know how to express it before the protagonist literally gets lost in Sayori’s eyes; she notices, it gets awkward, and they redirect into talking about Halloween. Not sure if we made the right choice from a mechanical perspective; the second scene pushes the romance along more than the first and all that happens in the code is the game marking whether or not you met Yuri for lunch. But I never claimed to be a completionist, and like everybody else we have to live with our decisions. We’ll see how this turns out.
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StandardVC10 posted:how pre-WWI European foreign policy worked (it didn't, really.) lol yeah
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Update 17: It's nothing. Everyone has nightmares.  This mod nearly killed the Directors. Please give them your love. <3 6. Play With Us - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST  As I open the door, the familiar sight of the girls greets me. Although, Monika is missing. It's a little unlike her to be late, isn't it? Then again, she was tardy that one time during my first week at the club. HISAO: Hey, everyone. SAYORI: Hey! NATSUKI: Hi. The girls have pushed a few desks together and are sitting in a row, with Sayori on the left, Yuri in the middle, and Natsuki on the right. I wearily flop next to Sayori. YURI: Hello, Hisao. How were your last few classes? HISAO: About as fun as the last few classes on a Friday could ever be, haha. YURI: Huhu. While school can be a wonderful place to learn new things, I'll admit that a weekend break is always appreciated. It's nice to have a break. HISAO: For sure. By the way, does anyone know where Monika is? NATSUKI: We were just talking about that. She was the one who set this meeting up, yet she's late for it… She rolls her eyes. NATSUKI: I bet she's playing the piano, or coming back from tennis… Or whatever her latest hobby is.  As she says that, the door opens and Monika comes bursting in, an apologetic look on her face. MONIKA: Sorry, sorry! I'll keep this one brief, don't worry. Sitting at a desk in front of us, she pulls out her laptop and fires it up. There's silence as the machine whirrs to life, along with a slight anticipation. Unfortunately, there's still a trace of tension in the air, undoubtedly stemming from everyone's memory of the festival. It's not particularly prominent - the club still has a laid back, cosy aura - but there's just enough to serve as an uncomfortable reminder. I guess I was naive to think something so serious would get brushed over so soon. Especially the argument between Natsuki and Monika. Nonetheless, Monika, with all of her charms as the confident leader, is quick to move things along. MONIKA: Okay, everyone! So! As you guys know, Halloween is coming up. Sayori and I were talking… How does a Halloween party sound? YURI: A Halloween... party? NATSUKI: Didn't think you were much of a party girl, Monika. MONIKA: No, not that kind of party... I mean, if we held a little event here, in the school. SAYORI: Yeah! We could share scary stories, dress up, that sorta thing! MONIKA: Yeah, that sort of thing. Sayori gave me the idea. We could all write horror themed poems, in the spirit of Halloween. As expected, Yuri's eyes light up. Natsuki on the other hand doesn't look quite as convinced. NATSUKI: Scary poems? Meh. It's not really my kind of thing… MONIKA: Well, see it as an opportunity to try something new and grow as a poet. YURI: It would definitely be interesting to see what you all come up with. MONIKA: See? That's the attitude to have, guys. Plus, it's been a while since I've done anything for Halloween… I was initially against it at first, but Sayori can be pretty persuasive. And I think I should be able to find some time for it, so… What do you guys think? A Halloween event, huh? Much like Monika, it's also been a long time since I've done anything for this festivity. Most of my Halloween memories come from the pranks Sayori and I would pull on each other back when we were children. Although a distant memory, I'd be lying if I said they weren't fun. HISAO: Yeah, sounds cool to me. I'm in. Although, we've gotta tell ghost stories, too. Y'know, go all out. YURI: I think that's a wonderful idea. NATSUKI: Pssh, of course you would, Yuri. Yeah, okay. I'd get to scare the crap out of you with my scary stories. I'm down. SAYORI: Yaaay! It'll be fun, guys! YURI: I have just one question, though. You said we'd hold the event here, in the school. Assuming we would do it while it's dark, wouldn't the school be closed? HISAO: Yeah, that's a good point, actually. Unless we did it at one of our houses? I don't know if we'd have the room, though. Unless you planned on like...breaking into school, after hours. SAYORI: Weeeeeeeelll… The moment of silence, along with Sayori's tone of voice, is incredibly telling. HISAO: No way. You honestly let Sayori talk you into that, Monika? MONIKA: Hmm. Eventually I told Sayori I was fine with it, but I'm still on the fence about it. Now that I'm thinking about it - could we host the party at one of your places? Natsuki? NATSUKI: N-No! It's a pretty cool idea to break into school. Gotta have that rebellious teenage spirit, right? YURI: But what if we get caught? Uuu...we'd get in so much trouble… HISAO: Sorry Yuri, but I'm with Natsuki here. Wouldn't the thrill of potentially being caught add to the atmosphere? Besides...it'll probably be pretty creepy in here, at night, when everyone's gone home. Perfect place for this sorta event. SAYORI: Seeeeeee? I told you, Monika! MONIKA: Well I was just surprised at how willing you were to break some major rules, Sayori! I always thought of you as the student who wouldn't go looking for trouble. SAYORI: Well, once or twice won't hurt anyone~ HISAO: Hah, don't let that innocent exterior fool you, Monika. Sayori can be ever so sly when she wants to be. She's got a hidden dark side, y'know? SAYORI: Hey! Don't overdo it… MONIKA: Ahaha, break it up, you two. Well, now that that's been settled, we can sort out some decorations for the room. SAYORI: Hisao! Pleaaaaase can we carve some pumpkins? I sigh. HISAO: As long as you don't accidentally drop one on my foot again. SAYORI: I'll try~ MONIKA: Well, that's you two sorted. How about you, Natsuki? NATSUKI: I could bake some cupcakes, or some cookies. Put some Halloween stuff on them, like spiders or whatever. They'd look awesome. And you can bet they'd taste as good as they look! SAYORI: Yesssss! You're the best, Natsuki! NATSUKI: Geez, all it takes is the mention of cupcakes, doesn't it? SAYORI: Yours are so good, though! NATSUKI: Well, I am the best… MONIKA: And how about you, Yuri? Based on what you contributed for the festival, am I right in assuming some sort of contribution towards the ambience or atmosphere? Yuri closes her eyes, clearly in thought. I've come to appreciate how Yuri is someone who really thinks before she speaks. YURI: Yes, I think something like that would be ideal. I'll let you know the finer details once I've settled on something, if that's alright? MONIKA: Of course. Well then, on that note… I think that's everything. She finishes typing and puts the laptop lid down. SAYORI: Wait! We should all dress up, too! NATSUKI: As in, Halloween costumes? SAYORI: Yep! HISAO: Bit old for that, aren't we? SAYORI: Come on! We used to have a lot of fun doing it when we were kids, so let's do it again! She does have a point there; I guess it could be quite amusing to see what she can come up with, as well. YURI: Would we be able to come in as...anything? SAYORI: As long as it's to do with Halloween, sure! MONIKA: Ah, well, I don't really know if I'll have the time. Upon seeing Sayori's face drop, she hastens to speak once more. MONIKA: But I'll do my best~ NATSUKI: Yeah, I'm in too. Looks like I'll have to get creative as well... When I was that age, I thought that teenagers should be able to go trick-or-treating near the end of the night once all the younger kids had their go and get their pick from whatever’s left. Now that I’m grown, I still think that. The divisions between age groups are very sharp in popular culture and only kind of backed up by reality; yeah, there are obviously significant differences between toddlers and is, but people seem so eager to shove ages and behaviors into categories they skip over how people actually develop – especially disabled people who can’t fit into those categories because of who they are and end up shoved into whichever one lets onlookers dismiss or control them. I’ve never seen the sense in limiting kids like that because I’m never seen the sense in limiting people like that. Although at the moment, the only thing I want to do now is go home and relax. Standing up, I stretch and yawn, looking at the clock. MONIKA: Anyway, I'll call the club meeting here. No poems today, sorry. But I'm sure your Halloween poems will make up for that! There's a general murmur of agreement as the girls stand up and pack away. HISAO: Ready to go, Sayori? Okie dokie~ 25. Cinnamon - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST  HISAO: Any plans for the weekend? SAYORI: Well, we've gotta get our Halloween stuff sorted, remember! So let's head to town and get the pumpkins and things ready. HISAO: Seeing as you're lazy, I'll let you sleep in and pick you up from your house, instead of us meeting at mine. SAYORI: Hey! It's not like I can help it, you know… Anyway, let's meet at noon, okay? HISAO: Sounds good. Seeya then. It's that wonderful weekend feeling. 23. Our Next Chapter - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST  Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Daijoubu!  Ahhhhh. That was perhaps the most satisfying nights' sleep I've had in a while. What time is it? Wow, it's half ten? For me, that's super early. This is the second Saturday in a row that I've woken up before noon. Am I slowly shedding my vampiric traits? As I draw the curtains and feel the sunshine flowing through the glass, I can't help but feel...really content. In fact, ever since joining the Literature Club, even in spite of the festival, my mood's generally been so much better than usual. Perhaps it's due to what I told the girls before we started our recitals - it's just nice to have people my own age to hang out with. But what if...what if it's something more than that? Sayori? Even thinking about her brings that warm feeling back, although not as strongly. Could it be? Am I really starting to...like her, in that way? As if to interrupt my brain, my stomach grumbles. Guess I'll give this a muse over breakfast. Hmmm. What do I feel like having today? Cereal, toast, fried eggs, sausage, bacon… So many choices. I think eggs, sausage and bacon will do for now. Much better. I can see why Sayori mentioned breakfast in her first poem... There I go again, always thinking about her. If I were to be honest, as much as I enjoy all of the girls' company… I'd be lying if I said I'd be as excited if I were to spend today with any other girl. Maybe it's because of the history we share? Or because Natsuki is a little too cold for my tastes, and Yuri's a little too...quiet? I dunno. Since day one, I've always been comfortable talking to Sayori. And that's never changed. I swear I read somewhere that if you can go years without talking to a friend, then when you do finally reconnect… If you're able to get along like nothing ever happened… Then it's the sign of a true friendship. Or I'm just looking into this too much. Feelings.... And there was me thinking that the stuff we do in math is hard to get your head around…  One thing that never changes is Sayori's inability to get up on time. Five minutes pass, and I grow impatient. Fishing out my phone, I shoot her a text. Chat Window posted:Hisao: It's noon, you lazy girl. We've got pumpkins to carve, remember? ... Minutes tick by without a response. Chat Window posted:Hisao: Sayori? At this rate, I'd probably have more of a two-way conversation with a mime. Man, how creepy must I look, just aimlessly standing outside her house. With a sigh, I open the gate and head to her house. (Silence)  We're really gonna have to work on her sleeping patterns. I always knew she could be a little lazy, but this is getting annoying… HISAO: Sayori? It's me. Sorry, I didn't want to wait outside. Are you uh...dressed? If I strain my ears, I can faintly pick up the sound of her voice. She's not replying to me, though. It sounds like she's talking to herself. I can't quite pick up what she's saying from this distance. Probably sleep talking, and knowing her, sleep talking about food. I'm nearing the end of my patience. HISAO: Okay, that was your last chance! If you're getting changed or anything, you can't be mad at me… 29. Out of Reach - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST  Man, her room is a mess… And Sayori herself is tucked away in the mess of pillows, blankets and the duvet that forms her bed. There's a swathe of hair that's fallen into her mouth, and she's drooling slightly. She's curled up into a ball, with her arms hugging herself. It's a strangely adorable sight, and I feel bad in having to wake her. As I draw closer, I can finally make out what she's saying. And to my dismay, it's nothing wholesome at all. It sounds more like she's softly whimpering to herself, and I can also spot glistening wet trails down her cheeks. Seeing Sayori cry is a sight I wish I'd never have to see. SAYORI: ...Can't help it... What's she talking about? SAYORI: ...sorry...I'm so...useless... ...but...really trying. ...for everyone... ... She flips over restlessly, a sob accompanying the movement. SAYORI: But...it's so...hard. So tiring...don't want... Don't want to do...anymore. No… Please! Someone? Anyone… I know...selfish... HISAO: Sayori! Her head turns slightly, almost as if she's heard me. Her eyes remain shut, so it's impossible to tell if she's awake. Sayori, it's me. Hisao. It's okay, I'm here. Mmmm...no, I don't want to go… ...didn't work last time… They said it would work… Fresh sobs fill the room as she cries harder. Her voice breaks completely as tears drip down her face. At this point, I've had enough. A strong protective instinct within me demands that I reach out and gently clasp one of her hands with mine. With her hand in mine, I gingerly shake her awake. HISAO: Sayori! SAYORI: ...Hisao... And with that final mysterious utterance, her eyes flutter open, with panic momentarily flashing through them. When she sees me, she visibly relaxes and sits up.  SAYORI: Oh...hi, Hisao. She hastily turns away and tries to discreetly wipe her face. I'm still trying to process what I've just witnessed. HISAO: Sayori, are you okay? I think...I think you were having a nightmare. SAYORI: Oh, was I? I don't remember anything like that… HISAO: I was literally right here, listening to you cry! Of course you had a nightmare! You said some really...concerning stuff… She anxiously bites her lip as she replies. SAYORI: Ah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry… I didn't mean to make you worried. HISAO: You seriously need to stop thinking that you're a burden. It's my job to be concerned about you! We're best friends! SAYORI: ...You're really silly sometimes, you know that? HISAO: What's going on, Sayori? Please, just talk to me! She looks ashamed as she gets herself out of bed. SAYORI: Oh god, I just realized! I totally forgot what we have planned for today! And I overslept… Hisao, I'm so sorry! I'm such an idiot… She flails around and on instinct I reach out and pull her into a hug. Clearly this takes her by surprise as she doesn't make an effort to return it - at least initially - but after a while she eventually starts to weakly hug back. As we break apart, Sayori smiles, clearly trying to put her nightmare behind her. SAYORI: Thank you, Hisao. You always know how to make me feel better~ Anyway! We have a lot to do today, right? Let's get started then~ Is she really going to try and ignore the elephant in the room?! HISAO: Sayori, don't you want to ta- SAYORI: No. Sorry, I just… Really don't want to talk about it, if that's okay? Another glimpse of this concerning side she works so hard to pass off. And yet, there they are again - those walls I can never get through. HISAO: But-  SAYORI: Hisao. Please? It's nothing. Everyone has nightmares. She seizes on my moment of silence. SAYORI: Anyway, can you just give me a moment to get dressed? Then we can start getting spooky!~ With a sigh of resignation, I leave and close the door behind me. 26. Simplicities - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST  SAYORI: We can get some pumpkins from the supermarket! You've got a knife at home, right? HISAO: Yeah. SAYORI: Sooo...what kinda things should we carve into them? Bats, skulls, all those cheesy Halloween things, right? It's tempting to not answer. To give Sayori a taste of her own medicine. I don't think she's aware of just how frustrating this is. But then again… Do I really want this to ruin the day? Sayori's clearly trying to put it past us. As much as I want to know what's going on, she's really not in any mood to divulge. And bringing it up now would probably ruin the mood and day for both of us. Besides, I can't really stay angry at her. Her general bubbly persona is so infectious - only someone without a heart could be immune to it. I begrudgingly smile. HISAO: Or spiders. SAYORI: I forgot how much you're terrified of them! HISAO: Oh come on, like you're any better. SAYORI: I aaaaaaaaaam! Okay, maybe with the big ones… Even though Halloween isn't as largely celebrated here, at least compared to Western countries, shops have still made a decorative effort. All of the cheesy, cliché Halloween decorations can be seen both on the exterior and interior of the shop. Luckily for us, all of the pumpkins are right at the front. HISAO: Wow. These are huge. SAYORI: Which means we have more space to make some awesome decorations! Don't you think? Her eyes meet mine, the cheerful enthusiasm still bouncing around in them. HISAO: Yeah, good thinking. Let's get these three. SAYORI: Ooh, do you mind if I grab some food, for later? HISAO: Yeah, sure. What were you thinking? SAYORI: Pizza. HISAO: Not exactly the healthiest of choices, is it? SAYORI: Hey! I don't see you chomping on salad, you know! HISAO: Can't dispute that, haha. But in all seriousness Sayori, maybe you should try something that isn't just junk food? I worry about you sometimes, you know. SAYORI: I know, I know… You don't need to, though. I'll make more of an effort soon, I promise! HISAO: Alright, fine. Pizza it is. But only if I get a slice. ...Or two. SAYORI: Deal!  In an attempt to display my masculine bravado, I volunteered to carry all three of the pumpkins. In hindsight, given how much my arms are screaming at me… I immediately regret this decision. SAYORI: I can't believe you didn't let me carry any of them! You're so silly sometimes… HISAO: Pfft, it's no sweat, Sayori! No...sweat, at...all… Don't drop them, don't drop them, don't drop them… SAYORI: Aha. HISAO: What? SAYORI: That pumpkin is shaped like your head. HISAO: I swear to god I will throw one of these at you. SAYORI: You wouldn't dare! Besides, I don't think you'd be able to lift it high enough~ HISAO: ...I hate how true that is. SAYORI: Sayori 1, Hisao 0! That's so unfair. HISAO: You're taking advantage of the poor situation I'm in. SAYORI: Not true! If I recall correctly, you're the one who insisted on carrying these! She adopts a comedic, super low male voice. SAYORI: It's okay, Sayori, I'm a big strong guy who can handle all of these pumpkins! HISAO: Okay, firstly, I do not sound like that. ... ...Right? An innocent smirk is my only response which turns into indignation as I blow a puff of air into her face. It's the little victories in life.  SAYORI: So, which shape should we go with first? HISAO: Hm...let's just keep it simple for now. We can just go with a generic jack-o-lantern face. I pull up a reference photo on my phone. SAYORI: We've gotta start by scooping out the insides, though. So let's cut a hole in the top… With a look of steadfast determination, she slices away the top of the pumpkin, exposing the contents within. She looks really cute with that look on her face. Her nose has scrunched up and she's focusing intently on her task. And the best part is she's so oblivious to how endearing she really is. SAYORI: Come on! Don't be afraid to get your hands dirty! HISAO: Okay, okay… Oh man, it feels so cold and sticky… It's slow but steady work. As we scoop out the inside, I do my best not to focus on how soft her hands and arms feel as they brush against mine. SAYORI: There! Now my hands are all sticky… HISAO: Yeah, mine too. Say… Do you want a new hairstyle? I grin and reach forward, aiming for Sayori's head. SAYORI: Uwaaaa- Don't you even think about it! HISAO: Okay, okay. I won't. I hold my hands up as a sign of peace. Sayori remains backed up away from me, a suspicious look on her face. As she lets her guard down and comes closer, I dart forward and boop her on the nose, leaving an orange smear. SAYORI: Hey! Meanie! I'm going to get you for that! HISAO: Only if you can actually catch me! I laugh and dart away from her strike. Sayori has never been particularly co-ordinated, so it's pretty easy to dodge her clumsy attempts. As she comes in for another swipe, I catch her wrists with my hands. She's squirming and wriggling, doing her best to escape my grip. Unfortunately, due to the slipperiness of the pumpkin coating on both of our hands, my grip isn't as strong as I'd like. She manages to twist her hand free and lands a respectable orange smear on my cheek. SAYORI: Aha! I told you~ Her victory is short lived as I manage to return the favor down her neck. SAYORI: Uwaaa, okay, okay! A truce! For real this time! HISAO: No tricks? SAYORI: Nooo! We still have to carve the pumpkins! HISAO: Okay, fair enough. I'm looking through the cupboards, trying to find a knife that's big enough. Ah, this one will do. SAYORI: How's this? I wander over to the left of Sayori. ... This is unfair. How is it that a girl who was late to wake up and get ready still smells really good? A faraway detached part of me vaguely remembers something my biology teacher was saying about pheromones… SAYORI: Well? HISAO: Yeah it smells great. SAYORI: Smells? Huh? HISAO: Oh drat, did I say smell instead of look? Guess I'm a little hungry, haha. Yeah, that's perfect. I'll start carving it. … HISAO: There. SAYORI: Wow! That looks great. We make an awesome team, don't we? HISAO: Haha, we sure do. What about for the other two pumpkins? I was thinking we could do a bat for this one. And we could just keep it simple for the last one. SAYORI: Like carve 'boo' into it? HISAO: Perfect. Well, here we go again… A while later, and we're finally all done. Our handiwork sits proudly in front of us. HISAO: Job well done. SAYORI: The others are gonna love them! HISAO: Ahaha. I just realized. We must look like two proud parents. Except our kids are pumpkins. Sayori breaks out into giggles. SAYORI: Ehehe~ Hisao... You've always been really funny, you know that? One of these days I'll learn how to take a compliment from the opposite sex. Especially when it comes from someone I think I'm starting to fall in love with. Unfortunately, that day is not today. As I feel my cheeks heat up, I'd be very surprised if Sayori didn't pick up on it. SAYORI: Anyway, I've had a lot of fun today! Sadly I've got a lot of homework to get on with… So I'm gonna have to go. But I'll take a pumpkin with me. Anyway, I'll see you on Monday. Oh, and… SAYORI: Look, I know you're concerned about me. About...what happened earlier. But please, just try not to worry too much or anything. I'll...try and tell you when I'm comfortable, okay? Hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend~ With a click, the door closes behind me. Doki Doki Literature Club! OST - Daijoubu! I don't get much time to stew over the day's events, though, as my phone blares to life. It's my mother. 9. Family Bonds - Doki Doki Blue Skies OST_bonds  MOM: Hi, Hisao! How have you been doing? Are you eating well? HISAO: Woah woah Mom, slow down. I'm fine. School's going well - Sakurai's started talking about World War One, so history is pretty enjoyable. About the eating part… Uh... How are things on your end? MOM: Stressful, stressful… I want to come home and see you. I've been feeling ever so guilty about being away… HISAO: Nah, it's fine, seriously. Since joining the club that lonely feeling has pretty much disappeared. Plus, Sayori and I are hanging out a lot, so it's nice to have some regular contact with her again. MOM: Oh yes, that club of yours! You said it was a literature club, right? HISAO: Mmhm. MOM: Ah, well that should mean your grades for Japanese will be fantastic, right? HISAO: It's definitely helping! MOM: And the other club members? HISAO: Yeah, we get along pretty well. One girl is really shy, the other one is kinda...cold, but I think she's a softie at heart. Oh, and Monika's the president. MOM: Oh, the Monika you used to share classes with? mom The one you had a crush on? HISAO: Mom! I didn't have a crush on her… MOM: Of course not~ So, being around Sayori again. When I called you last week, you were on a da- sorry, at the park with her, right? HISAO: Yeah. MOM: I'm so happy for both of you! She was always your best friend growing up. Although… Perhaps it's a motherly intuition, but I get the feeling that you and Sayori… HISAO: What about us? I can sense her knowing smile even over the phone. MOM: Well, you tell me.  >Tell her you're developing feelings. >Don’t tell her about the feelings. Wow, we get the chance to be mature about our feelings. Don’t see that in all that many VNs. =>Tell her you're developing feelings. HISAO: Ah...well, truth be told, Mom… I think I really like her. Like...in that sense. MOM: Ah yes, I did think this day would come eventually. Look at my little boy, all grown up! Falling in love with a girl, ahaha… HISAO: Mom! MOM: Sorry, sorry… I guess I should've seen this coming. Given the way you used to act around her as a kid… Always looking out for her, protecting her from things that scared her, sharing your food with her. Quite the gentleman you were. HISAO: Really? You had your suspicions that early on? MOM: Motherly instincts, sweetheart. We share a laugh. HISAO: It was confusing, at first. I didn't really know what these new feelings were. I'd start to notice little things about her that I didn't see before. Like, how pretty her eyes are, or how nice she smells… Or how cute she looks when she's trying to concentrate. I sigh dreamily. HISAO: Yeah, I'll admit it, she's got me good. MOM: So what's holding you back? HISAO: Well I… I don't really know girls that well… How am I supposed to know if she likes me back? MOM: Ah, teenage love… Well, look at it this way. When a girl likes you, she'll do a few things to try and signal that interest. Does she maintain eye contact with you a lot? Laugh at your jokes? Offer to come with you to places, or invite you along? Compliment you? HISAO: Errr...kind of, yeah? I mean, a lot of those things, yeah… But sometimes...she acts a little bit...off? As in, there are days where she doesn't really want to talk to me, or anyone else. There's something that she's hiding, but she keeps her walls up and doesn't let me in. Like today, she was having a really bad nightmare. Saying stuff like...she's really tired, and she feels bad for feeling useless… But she never wants to talk about it and just brushes me off whenever I try and help her. MOM: Hmmm. Well, there was a long gap in your history together. Perhaps something happened in her life, something that she isn't ready to share just yet? Patience is a virtue, sweetheart. You'll have to understand it from her perspective - sometimes, people just don't want to share. I know it must be frustrating...you want to help, but she's just not letting you. HISAO: Yeah… MOM: As much as we would like to, sometimes we can't just force ourselves into someone's life like that. Besides, we have no idea what her reasoning is. I'm sure she'll tell you when she feels comfortable doing so. HISAO: But...doesn't that mean she doesn't trust me yet? MOM: Not necessarily. From what you've told me, she enjoys spending time with you. She certainly does trust you, just not on that level just yet. It'll come in time. I’ve always thought this. Trust and honesty are vital for any healthy relationship, but if you take either to their extreme it usually hurts it. Like, nobody tells state or company secrets to their spouse in full unless they’re looking to get fired. Remember kids, trust means more than blindly revealing everything you know. Anyway, unfortunately I have to go. A lot of work to be done, still. Was lovely talking to you again, sweetheart, and keep me updated on the Sayori situation, especially if anything major pops up, okay? HISAO: Sure thing, Mom. And thanks - your advice has been really helpful! MOM: You're very welcome, darling. Bye! As I meander upstairs into my room and flop onto my chair, my mother's words echo in my mind. Maybe Sayori does like me too, then? Huh. Well, even if she does, what am I meant to do? Am I meant to make the first move? Ask her to a...date, or be my girlfriend? Although if we've been hanging out - just us two - isn't that already technically a date? Gahhhhh. I don't know. I think I'll just see how the next couple of weeks go and not push anything. Primarily because I don't know what I'm doing. With a weary sigh, I boot up my computer. There's no way I'll be able to get any homework done with all of this on my mind. Video games should be a nice way to relax. Hmm… It's Halloween coming up, so let's pick a horror game. This one looks tempting. Third person survival horror...police detective...nightmarish simulation... This'll do fine. I want to point out something very interesting about our protagonist’s thought patterns here – he’s factoring in (what he doesn’t know is) her depression as one of many aspects of her personality. A lot of media about mental illness falls into a trap of only thinking about the mental illness in question, even if the work hasn’t already revealed what that mental illness is. Here, though, it’s just another aspect of her, his relationship with that part of her is just one part of his relationship with her, and I’ve been trying to sell that point of view for years.
Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 03:26 on May 7, 2022 |
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May 5, 2022 23:23
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