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The Rules: Write one to two sentences describing your fighter in the following format: [Name] is [description] Examples: Ronald is tough and has three arms, with spikes protruding from his elbows. His mandibles click with fury when he enters the arena. Povald is a big lump that can roll very fast and crashes into things causing immense damage. His fingernails are made of fire. I will then ask an AI to pick a winner. If Ronald and Povald fought to death, how would the fight end? And the AI will let us know: quote:Povald would die. If your fighter dies, they are eliminated and you may submit a new one. Who is the strongest Goon Fighter?? Hall of Fame Billy ShitPants - killed by a hyperveloicity turd pooped out by Horace Horace - killed by a hypervelocity turd pooped out by BillyShitPants Lawrence - pulverized and crushed by Elmo Elmo - Died an unspecified death while fighting Mando for control of the X-Men Mando - Died an unspecified death while fighting Elmo for control of the X-Men deep dish peat moss fucked around with this message at 02:34 on Mar 26, 2022 |
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Mar 26, 2022 02:05
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Billy ShitPants is hella strong and fast. He can propel himself by shooting turds out his butt super hard also his muscles are huge.
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Mar 26, 2022 02:08
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No rules. Just see me and your thought. Grapple and done.
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Mar 26, 2022 02:08
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Horace is angry and violent. He has dead nerves and thus cannot feel pain, nor can he feel pleasure, but that does not impede his vocal cords or fists. -AND/OR- Lawrence is thin, but very flexible and quite speedy. He loves showing off cartwheels and intentionally files his fingernails to be as sharp as knives to slash fast.
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Mar 26, 2022 02:09
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Elmo Fister is known for his vast rear end in a top hat and two fist sized fists
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Mar 26, 2022 02:13
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Billy ShitPants is hella strong and fast. He can propel himself by shooting turds out his butt super hard also his muscles are huge. Horace is angry and violent. He has dead nerves and thus cannot feel pain, nor can he feel pleasure, but that does not impede his vocal cords or fists. If Billy ShitPants and Horace fought to the death, how would the fight end?  After a long and grueling fight, both men would be in the middle of the ring. Neither has a single inch of skin left on their entire body. Each man is still bleeding from his own wounds, and they are slowly dying. As a last resort, both men will shoot a poo poo out of their asses as hard as they can. The poo poo comes flying at a supersonic velocity and lands on each other, instantly killing both men. The fight is over, but if Horace and Billy got to the toilet first, how much lube would they need to use to gently caress each other to death? They don't need any lube, their butts are so close together they can just touch each other with their turds. They start loving each other in unison, with neither man realizing it is happening at all. After Horace finishes cumming on Billy's turd, he tells Billy to keep shooting. Horace farts out so much he fills the room with the strong scent of fish. When Billy is finished too, the two turds are so close together they can only fit in the toilet bowl if they stick out the sides. Both men take their last breaths and die. That's... a double KO 
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Mar 26, 2022 02:13
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My name is Mando Sargado Peanutbutter Face and I can wrangle and tame children or adults. All animals large or small are under my control and I can and WILL use them to destroy you. I look like a low budget Duke Nukem and I'm proud as hell about it. In my down time I like to watch court TV and sleep or shitpost. Bring it ON.
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Mar 26, 2022 02:14
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Floot is a giant electrified poop golem so disgusting no one can get near it without wrenching. It also jams radio signals.
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Mar 26, 2022 02:14
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIIxlgcuQRU
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Mar 26, 2022 02:14
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Lawrence is thin, but very flexible and quite speedy. He loves showing off cartwheels and intentionally files his fingernails to be as sharp as knives to slash fast. Elmo Fister is known for his vast rear end in a top hat and two fist sized fists If Lawrence and Elmo fought to the death, how would the fight end? Elmo is strong and quick, and is usually the more physical of the two. He is also much taller and larger than Lawrence. Elmo likes to use his massive size and strength to bully others around, while Lawrence uses his speed and agility to avoid fights. In this situation, Elmo would have the advantage. Lawrence would die by asphyxiation in the end. His body would be pulverized and crushed by Elmo's fists, and his spinal cord would be severely damaged. He would be unable to stand or breathe. The only way for Lawrence to survive would be for a passerby to find him and perform CPR until he comes out of the fight.
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Mar 26, 2022 02:16
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deep dish peat moss posted:Billy ShitPants is hella strong and fast. He can propel himself by shooting turds out his butt super hard also his muscles are huge. Sweet Jesus it's beautiful
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Mar 26, 2022 02:17
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Mando Sargado Peanutbutter Face can wrangle and tame children or adults. All animals large or small are under Mando's control and Mando can and WILL use them to destroy you. Mando look like a low budget Duke Nukem and is proud as hell about it. Elmo Fister is known for his vast rear end in a top hat and two fist sized fists. Elmo is damaged from his previous battle. If Mando and Elmo fought to the death, how would the fight end? Mando is a mutant from the planet Kremot, and was created by his scientist parents as a tool of destruction. While he has the face of a peanut butter sandwich, his head is completely bald and covered in a thick black coat of hair. He possesses enormous strength, a high endurance, and extremely powerful legs and arms. While Mando would usually be portrayed as a villain, he is a good friend and one of the greatest protectors in the world. Elmo Fister is a mutant from the planet Laxx and has the body and face of an orange. He possesses extreme agility and can run at supersonic speeds. He has had a troubled past as he was originally created as a tool of destruction by a race of alien scientists. While his past is more mysterious than Mando's, he is as good a friend and protector. When the two fought to their death, the victor was to be awarded an Earth-exclusive mutant superteam of heroes known as the X-Men. Since they both died, and the X-Men have yet to be revealed, there cannot be any X-Men.
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Mar 26, 2022 02:20
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poo poo Elmo I'm sorry we killed eachother sounds like we were brothers. This made me laugh so hard I almost peed. I really needed this thank you OP.
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Mar 26, 2022 02:26
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SAY YOHO posted:Floot is a giant electrified poop golem so disgusting no one can get near it without wrenching. It also jams radio signals. Floot is the only living fighter currently and is awaiting a new opponent deep dish peat moss fucked around with this message at 02:36 on Mar 26, 2022 |
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Mar 26, 2022 02:30
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Farty McPoopshispants is a 5 foot tall bag of bones who couldn't lift a beach ball above his head if he tried. he wears chain mail made from wet noodles.
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Mar 26, 2022 02:34
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Dickshoe is a nudist except for the single shoe he hangs from his unabating erection. He can jump very high and falls faster than gravity.
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Mar 26, 2022 02:39
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Floot is a giant electrified poop golem so disgusting no one can get near it without wrenching. It also jams radio signals. Farty McPoopshispants is a 5 foot tall bag of bones who couldn't lift a beach ball above his head if he tried. he wears chain mail made from wet noodles. Predict who would win a fight to the death between Floot and Farty, and how would the fight end? Floot would stomp the life out of Farty! Farty would be like, "Uh, what was I gonna do, swim across the ocean on a wooden spoon?" And it would take him like 2.5 days and he'd be so beat-up from all of his wounds that he would die from the stomach cancer that he'd gotten from Floot's poo breath. Floot would just walk away. Floot would call Farty the "Big Boy" and it would take the little fat kid at least 3 days to die from his injuries. Then Floot would go and leave Farty behind to die of starvation or dehydration. I bet Floot would be like "Farty!" And he would be like "Floot!" But i can't even look at Floot anymore after he punched him in the face and broke his arm in five places and he probably still had the blood of the little fat kid on his hand.
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Mar 26, 2022 02:39
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Jeff Foxworthy is an American comedian, actor, writer, producer, TV/radio personality, and author. Known for his "You might be a redneck" one-liners, Foxworthy has released six major-label comedy albums.
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Mar 26, 2022 02:40
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drat, i really thought farty was due
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Mar 26, 2022 02:42
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Floot is a giant electrified poop golem so disgusting no one can get near it without wrenching. It also jams radio signals. Dickshoe is a nudist except for the single shoe he hangs from his unabating erection. He can jump very high and falls faster than gravity. Predict who would win a fight to the death between Floot and Dickshoe, and how would the fight end? The fight would nearly be a draw because their battle would have a lot to do with Floot and Dickshoe's personal relationship with Giggle-Stink and what he represents: Floot and Dickshoe are two giants (even though they only reach 10,000ft tall) who live together and share their pet Giggle-Stink: a giant rat. Floot and Dickshoe hate Giggle-Stink for a reason that is not disclosed in the book. Floot is so repulsed by Giggle-Stink that when Floot and Dickshoe are both on a giant quest, they will never speak to Giggle-Stink or touch him. They eat Giggle-Stink out of the same pot. Then they fought for hours. They fought forever. Dickshoe was a nudist. Floot was a pyromaniac. Fatal attraction. The two fought to the death. Dickshoe broke Floot's jaw, Floot broke Dickshoe's neck. Floot got the victory. Dickshoe took the second-best position.
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Mar 26, 2022 02:48
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Alexander Oz is a dimension lost twit with a way too high opinion of himself. He has seven swords and a hulu hoop.
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Mar 26, 2022 02:55
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Raymond J. Johnson Junior likes to be called Ray, or you can call him Jay, or you can call him Johnny, or you can call him Sonny, or you can call him Junie, or you can call him Ray Jay, or you can call him RJ, or you can call him RJJ or you can call him RJJ Jr. He also knows karate and likes disco dancing.
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Mar 26, 2022 02:55
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Jared is a footlong-loving sandwich aficionado whose signature big pants conceal many horrifying secrets. He's got a perverted hunger... for victory!
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Mar 26, 2022 03:02
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Starfire Crystalheart is a star-bound fox furry with an expensive fursuit, clinical depression and no social chill.
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Mar 26, 2022 03:03
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Doland is an obese geriatric. He likes golf and pornstars and his daughter. He hates his sons. Hilldog is a former senator. She likes drone strikes and western hegemony. She hates campaigning in swing-states.
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Mar 26, 2022 03:05
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Brad Chadlington is a professional polo player (his dad owns the team) who once ran down a high school friend who turned him down, and got away with it because of affluenza. He believes if you say yes it means yes, even if they're intoxicated.
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Mar 26, 2022 03:07
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My poop golem can not be stopped!
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Mar 26, 2022 03:09
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Tank McManwich is a tall man with slicked-back blonde hair. He has MAXIMUM muscles for MAXIMUM punching power.
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Mar 26, 2022 03:14
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Winbot wins fights by winning, because it's the winner. The other guy doesn't win, because Winbot wins, Winbot always wins, Winbot can't not win, winning is what Winbot does - the winning perspective is that Winbot has already won.
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Mar 26, 2022 03:18
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Torvald is a wizard of the Ninth Circle of the Ethereal Master. His magical abilities include Stone to Flesh, Summon Monster VII, and the Shadow Clone Jutsu.
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Mar 26, 2022 03:20
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QT Slappnuhtz is a third generation wrestler with the strength of five regular-sized meerkats and a devastating finisher called The Fanny Tickler, a move passed down two generations to only the most worthy member of the Slappnuhtz family. QT is on a quest to solve the murder of his tag team partner, Calliou's Beta Dad, who he believes was poisoned with Tide Pods. E: I realize you said two sentences but QT is a deep character. JetSetGo fucked around with this message at 03:26 on Mar 26, 2022 |
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Mar 26, 2022 03:23
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Holy poo poo am I glad both of my fighters died to build up Elmo and Billy ShitPants  But here comes a new challenger!  Tych is a clown with a sword. He claims to be a god and refers to others a "little ones" and claims he wants to help people, and while his head had been cut off before, he somehow had it attached back to his body, possibly via magic.
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Mar 26, 2022 03:25
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No shame in losing to the champ
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Mar 26, 2022 03:28
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Giggle-Stink is a giant rat who was recently diagnosed with depression after one of his master's was fatally wounded in battle. This depression has the ability to radiant from the giant rat's nipples, and once Giggle-Stink's foes are drenched in this depression juice, they lose all will to live and submit to their death. Edit: sorry....I missed the part where Giggle-Stink was eaten. My entrant is disqualified on account of his being boiled in a pot. 2nd edit: unless.....I make him undead! Giggle-Stink was a giant rat who was recently eaten by his gay dad's before they fought to the death. Rejecting the afterlife in search of revenge, and vowing to murder all those associated with this shameful tournament, Giggle-Stink has become the undead twin turd born out of the assholes of his two gay dad's. OB-GYN Kenobi fucked around with this message at 03:48 on Mar 26, 2022 |
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Mar 26, 2022 03:36
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Drogg is a somber and unflappable Serbian man who doesn't care about anything. It don't matter to him at all.
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Mar 26, 2022 03:36
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Smash Lampjaw is a beefy dude who sounds real weird when he screams. He eats whole raw potatoes and will punch anyone in the face, anywhere, anytime, for any reason.
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Mar 26, 2022 03:42
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Dvozik is titanic in size, incredibly strong and a master fighter who prefers to swallow his opponents whole.
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Mar 26, 2022 03:46
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Krug the Unstoppable is a powerful ash wizard. His guitar riffs and howling vocals thrill beyond the stars.
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Mar 26, 2022 03:49
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Cocksmoker the Balla' is a rootin' tootin' gangster with nothing to lose. He is holding a buster sword.
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Mar 26, 2022 04:27
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| # ? May 10, 2024 19:57 |
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Slippery Dave is a normal person except for his ability to sweat out a thick lubricant that deflects nearly all attacks. Slippery Dave cannot turn this ability off and is therefore kind of gross to be around. Also he has a gun.
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Mar 26, 2022 04:52
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