Hi, styls trill epic. Do you want to be my posting enemy?

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Hi, styls trill epic. Do you want to be my posting enemy?

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

I ran my last enemy off their main. They just couldn't handle my insane barbs and mastercrafted dunks. I just, like, notice you post a lot and I think we would be pretty compatible as GBS nemesis. I would just PM you but if we're going to do this we should make the vendetta public so everyone can keep track. It's just good common sense. Please reply forthwith. Thank you, OP.

P.S. Please find attached to this thread one (1) Bonzorro.

*dictated; not read

:nws:

https://imgur.com/pv7GJDV :nws:

# ? Apr 1, 2022 21:21

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# ? May 2, 2024 19:26

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

Please don't encourage that dude to post more.

# ? Apr 1, 2022 21:24

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

Please don't encourage that dude to post more.

Yeah, but did you see the Bonzorro?

# ? Apr 1, 2022 21:25

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Know what? I'll allow this.

# ? Apr 1, 2022 21:29

Giraffe: Dec 12, 2005; Soiled Meat

If this feud will continue to result in MS Paint dicks, I�m all for it.

# ? Apr 1, 2022 21:29

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Seth Pecksniff posted:

Know what? I'll allow this.

Good, cause when I totally ownZOR this person I need you to sign the mod part of the paperwork.

# ? Apr 1, 2022 21:31

Applesnots: Oct 22, 2010; MERRY YOBMAS

Man, I wish I had a posting enemy.

# ? Apr 1, 2022 21:32

kntfkr: Feb 11, 2019; GOOSE FUCKER

did you catch the clout?

# ? Apr 1, 2022 21:33

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Applesnots posted:

Man, I wish I had a posting enemy.

Exactly.

# ? Apr 1, 2022 21:34

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

kntfkr posted:

did you catch the clout?

It's pronounced gout and it's totally normal.

# ? Apr 1, 2022 21:34

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

Literally A Person posted:

Yeah, but did you see the Bonzorro?

I don't know what this is and I don't care.

# ? Apr 1, 2022 21:35

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Literally A Person posted:

Good, cause when I totally ownZOR this person I need you to sign the mod part of the paperwork.

I'll get form 1595-CG ready

God you must miss the paperwork that you have to do for GBS don't you?

# ? Apr 1, 2022 21:36

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

I don't know what this is and I don't care.

It's Boner-Zorro. Or, colloquially, Bonzorro.

# ? Apr 1, 2022 21:37

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

Literally A Person posted:

It's Boner-Zorro. Or, colloquially, Bonzorro.

I still don't know what this is supposed to mean and I care even less.

# ? Apr 1, 2022 21:38

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

I still don't know what this is supposed to mean and I care even less.

Geez.

Well, I appreciate you stopping by. You have a good day!

# ? Apr 1, 2022 21:39

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Literally A Person posted:

It's Boner-Zorro. Or, colloquially, Bonzorro.

Is there a Bizarro-Zorro, a Bizarrorro?

# ? Apr 1, 2022 21:39

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Knormal posted:

Is there a Bizarro-Zorro, a Bizarrorro?

Oh yeah! There's like 50 loving Zorros!

# ? Apr 1, 2022 21:42

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

it's very kind of you to platform such a low-tier poster, op

# ? Apr 1, 2022 21:43

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

it's very kind of you to platform such a low-tier poster, op

It's a public service.

# ? Apr 1, 2022 21:43

Luvcow: Jul 1, 2007; One day nearer spring

i hope this happens so that i can get both of your action figures in one set to add to my collection.

:ssh:

i still have the lap dolphin action figure in it's original package

# ? Apr 1, 2022 21:44

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Luvcow posted:

i hope this happens so that i can get both of your action figures in one set to add to my collection.

i still have the lap dolphin action figure in it's original package

I was always disappointed that they made me look like Phillip Glass for some reason. It's loving creepy, honestly.

Literally A Person fucked around with this message at 21:50 on Apr 1, 2022

# ? Apr 1, 2022 21:46

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

Is this the goon version of king arthur and mordred 2022

# ? Apr 1, 2022 21:48

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

EorayMel posted:

Is this the goon version of king arthur and mordred 2022

I don't know what mordred is....

# ? Apr 1, 2022 21:50

Lucid Nonsense: Aug 6, 2009; Welcome to the jungle, it gets worse here every day

Methink�st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee.

# ? Apr 1, 2022 21:52

Luvcow: Jul 1, 2007; One day nearer spring

Literally A Person posted:

I was always disappointed that they made me look like Phillip Glass for some reason. It's loving freaky, honestly.

the limited edition suicide saw mill play set was amazing though. i used it a lot with my other something awful� action figures so it's not in mint condition anymore. and for some reason my nooner action figure keeps making GBS threads itself even though i haven't refilled the reservoir for months now.

# ? Apr 1, 2022 21:52

Ruby Gloom: May 8, 2004; i showed u my trash pls respond

Literally A Person posted:

It's Boner-Zorro. Or, colloquially, Bonzorro.

The Dork of Zorro

# ? Apr 1, 2022 21:52

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

Literally A Person posted:

I don't know what mordred is....

Toshiro Mifune posted:

TRASH DINOSAURS AND SPLATTERSHITTERS
Her name was Kara. She was a plump thing with massive fingers for a seven or eight year old. At least I think this whole ordeal was in second grade. I can't be entirely sure. Kara was a nice girl and I was a bit of a loner. We would spend lunch periods after recess doing a junk hunt. It consisted of our stealing knives from the kitchen to try to dig little things out of the ground. Bottle caps, strings, rocks, bones, paper clips, and the like. One day we happened upon two very interesting artifacts. I was digging under a tree when I sound what was undeiably the bone of a small animal of some sort. Suddenly this budding buttertroll came bounding over to me with a feather in her hand waving it, and breathless. Obviously our command of the scientific method and our honed skills at inductive logic could only pring us to one conclusion: An Archeopteryx had died here millions of years ago and we had found it.
Our process of investigation didn't always include orthodox methods. Kara often had a penchant for using some of the more taboo senses in her study. I mean of course that virtually everything went in her mouth. SHe wondered at this point if she should taste this feather to see if she could make some kind of quill pen out of it ( I don't know either). I concurred that this was the only logical course of action. She literally licked the side of the loving feather.
This is the part where I become a germophobe for the rest of my life, and how I ever saw Kara again.

Later that afternoon we were trying to get our teacher, Mrs. Starr to get some kind of scientific research team to confirm our discovery we were told to calm down and break up into reading groups. I was in a reading group with the advanced kids, and with the advanced kids was my arch-nemesis- Austin Davies. He was kind of like what you would expect a mad scientest to be like as a child. It wouldn't suprise me if he is a goon himself or in prison for child molestation now. He had thick Coke bottle glasses, shock red hair that stood up straight and virtually no muscle mass. He was practically bone. You really have to understand that this kid was my Mordred to my King Arthur. This psychotic was known for eating rocks, twisting people's thumbs, kicking teachers and students in their package, and screaming all sorts of arcane and apocryphal words that no one our age was supposed to know while we were on the playground.

I'll return to Austin shortly. He plays one hell of a role in a story of his own. Anyway, Kara was in this group as well. It was her turn to read through a part of a story, a truncated Swiss Family Robinson, and I still have to say that she did a surprisingly good job considering. However about halfway through she started stumbling. THat was unusual, for her at least. as she choked out her words I looked over and noticed her face was sweaty and her eyes wer red, and her skin was pale. I may be exaggerating but my mind's eye has her looking like a zombie. THe first words out of my mouth were from what I think must have been a movie I had seen: 'Oh, man... she's gonna pop."

Somehow this started off an inexplicable comedy chain reaction. Austin Davies took this as a cue to tackle her for some reason. He leapt our of his chair and took a flying leap across the reading circle while Mrs. Starr tried to grab him and he plowed his head into her belly. THe chair she was in tumbled over as she vomited the entire contents of her stomach over the rest of the reading circle and over the floor.
You remember the horrified yet awed silence that occured when some kid tossed thier cookies in school. Yeah. WE had that, but over the silence was the muffled sound of chough crying and Austin pulling her hair. She finally pushed Austin off of her as Mrs. Star reached down to tear into his collar. Kara sort of slid up from the laminated tile floor and propped herself up. THe damage was exquisite. No single person in the reading group was without at least some chunk of something on thier person. Kara was propped up by the arm and taken to the nurses office by another girl from one of the other groups. All I gathered later from what my mom told me is that that she got sick and very dehydrated and didn't come back to school for the rest of the year... the final week or so. I moved that summer.

But my fond memories of Austin go back much further. He, like others it seems, had a fascination with making GBS threads on the floor. But he took it farther. THis was in first grade. THese places had tiny water closets in the back in the classrooms we used. It was convenient because kids couldn't get lost on the way to the bathroom. I remember only one vaguely horrifying image from the whole ordeal. I see myself holding a door open. I see austin's pale thin body and shock hair squatted like Gollum grinning with a sick smile at me. THere are tiny Hershey kiss turds laid out meticulously all over the floor. In a sort of grid pattern. He pants are stained with lovely handprints, as are the walls, and the rim of the toilet seems to have an oversplash of poo poo all over it. I realize this isn't actually much of a story but it truly is an indelible image. I think I was very disturbed and told my teacher and this is something of how we became enemies. He wanted to suprise her.

I did hear from an old friend I looked up that this kid moved away in something like sixth grade but before then he was accused of killing most of the pets in his neighborhood and stealing Kitchen knives from Wal-mart.

# ? Apr 1, 2022 21:53

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

im not here to make friends < :mad:

# ? Apr 1, 2022 21:55

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Okay, I have to go out now but I'll leave the thread open so you can respond to my offer, OP. Everyone else, you know, just have fun for a few. There's some pop in the fridge and I got a Hootie and the Blowfish cassette tape for you people to listen to

# ? Apr 1, 2022 21:56

DeadFatDuckFat: Oct 29, 2012; This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.

You clearly don't know your enemy well enough if you didn't use the EVENT thread tag. Smdh

# ? Apr 1, 2022 21:56

Luvcow: Jul 1, 2007; One day nearer spring

numberoneposter posted:

im not here to make friends <>

your action figure's package literally says "i'm here to make friends". i'm too busy to go take it out of the glass display case right now but if i get time later i'll pos a pic.

# ? Apr 1, 2022 21:57

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

Giraffe posted:

If this feud will continue to result in MS Paint dicks, I�m all for it.

Hastily made and posted at the office:

# ? Apr 1, 2022 22:03

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w536Alnon24
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8g2S3goIWs0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KHDEUUf354

# ? Apr 1, 2022 22:12

Sophy Wackles: Dec 17, 2000; > access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.

Imagine the clout!

# ? Apr 1, 2022 22:21

Luvcow: Jul 1, 2007; One day nearer spring

mods can you sticky this thread? i don't think styls trill epic posts here much so it's important they see this if/when they check in

# ? Apr 1, 2022 22:35

Giraffe: Dec 12, 2005; Soiled Meat

numberoneposter posted:

im not here to make friends <>

Well then you�re doing a great job!

# ? Apr 2, 2022 00:34

Zeluth: May 12, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IuUDRU9-HRk

# ? Apr 2, 2022 00:36

Waltzing Along: Jun 14, 2008; There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here

I thought you guys were the same person.

# ? Apr 2, 2022 00:37

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

Styls might be too busy waiting for his Failbox Series Fail to finish loading up a game so he probably won�t see this until it�s done sometime tomorrow.

# ? Apr 2, 2022 00:42

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# ? May 2, 2024 19:26

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

Waltzing Along posted:

I thought you guys were the same person.

P close, honestly.

So have they shown up yet??? Do I have a new enemy!!??

# ? Apr 2, 2022 00:53

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Hi, styls trill epic. Do you want to be my posting enemy?

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