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Zeluth posted:These are good stories. I have been frightened and even been choked with just a pinch to my neck. I never thought I was going to die. The choking poo poo, is real. That's scary. One or two times with dear ol' Dad, but he wouldn't of followed through because he was a loving pussy. (lol, gently caress you dad) That's scary poo poo. there were one or two events in my youth when I was a little deviant, that had guns involved. Those were always scary, at the time, I was like "whoa! wtf!" but looking back, it's more like "whoa! wtf! I could of died!" I never had the gun, or anything, I just happened to be there with people that were WAAAAY more into the poo poo, than I was. ( i was the nerdy white young dude that would of dipped out a bathroom window, given the chance ) blight rhino fucked around with this message at 23:36 on Apr 10, 2022 |
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Apr 10, 2022 23:31
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blight rhino posted:Well it ended up one evening at work I went to leave for the day, and was about to faint. So I sat in a chair near the office door. I closed the door, and ended up on the floor, not really sure what was happening, other than I giggled. I made my way back to my desk, trying to psych myself up to drive home. I think the problem here is that you forgot to walk the dinosaur
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Apr 10, 2022 23:56
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when i was like 13 i was at a park with the fam and i was goofing off on the playset with my younger brother. it was made out of old railroad ties and there was one section that was like one railroad tie with a hole cut through it at the top and a metal pipe was through it connecting it to all the rest of the bullshit. gently caress im bad at telling stories and this might be why. so ok the railroad tie thing is like a ramp, at an angle, and not connected to anything at the bottom so you can move it around. so we get the brilliant idea to lift this railroad tie up and drop it to smash a plastic bottle. we move the tie so its straight up, and im basically underneath it ducking down to set the bottle up like a dumb idiot piece of poo poo. my dumbass brother is supposed to be holding it but lets go to climb a ladder to go higher to hold onto it. as im ducking down the tie swings down and whacks me pretty hard on the back of the head and i kind of black out for a second and am seeing stars. my mom didnt take me to the hospital even though i was pretty much begging lol. anyway i think of that moment a lot when im dealing with various mental issues thinking how that could be a probable cause. if my head was closer to the ground it would have been splatted like a watermelon.
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Apr 10, 2022 23:56
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squid pro quo posted:I was surfing and paddling to catch a wave that was way too big for me. Imagine laying on a board on your stomach and rowing in the direction the wave is going. The wave caught my legs, bent them upwards and forward, basically trying to fold me in half backwards, and pulled me under. My first thought was that my back was broken. The second was that I was going to drown if I can’t use my legs to swim back. The wave spit me out a few seconds later, not too far from the beach, and my legs were working enough for me to swim and stumble out of the water. Ugh that’s scary. I saw an article about a couple swimming when they saw a rogue wave incoming. She dove and was fine but he took a hit and was permanently crippled.
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Apr 11, 2022 00:10
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on the way home from getting the 2nd covid shot, I made a joke to my husband: “I hope this shot fucks me.” 12 hours after, I immediately got a high fever which lasted 12 hours. An hour or so after that, I got severe chest pains that only started calming down when my husband called 911. Im not a stranger to chest pains but I’ve never been in so much pain from just inhaling. I was incredibly lightheaded and couldn’t really vocalize anything because it was too painful. Next day though I felt great and even my injection shot didn’t hurt anymore. I speedran the symptoms lol
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Apr 11, 2022 06:05
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tl;dr: WEAR A loving HELMET This was in idk, Feb 2013? I was 22 or so Used to live halfway up a really steep street in a city. Got really into downhill longboarding. Went to Portland with a bud and bought the same deck/truck/wheels/bearings as the guy who at the time, set the unassisted downhill speed record of over 80mph. Work was at the bottom of the hill. Bombed down the hill into work every single day for months and months. Eventually, the sidewalk construction finished and I started going even faster. I had been getting quicker on the weekends, so I ordered a full face helmet suitable for motorcycle racing. The day before it came, I was doing ~50mph with just my Audio Technica ATH-PRO700MK2ANV's on. The sidewalk was completely clear, there was no traffic either because they were replacing the light. A cop was directing traffic at the sleepy intersection. I made it all the way down the hill and was now at "cruising" speed (read: 20+ mph faster than the speed limit of the cars) No idea what happened, but the board caught something and shot away from me at a 45 degree angle. I immediately slammed the ground. I was using one of those old school curly headphone cables. I remember everything that happened next essentially frame by frame, even though it happened in less than a second. The curly headphone cable got caught between the sidewalk and my face, rolling with the impact. When I noticed this, my only thought was "huh, lucky". The only reason I mentioned the model number of the headphones, is that the cans happened to be milled from chunks of aircraft aluminum. They ate the brunt of my head's weight slamming into the ground (I believe they saved my life, or at the very least my ear from being ripped off). My temple came next, and nothing was there. A white flash. I reflexively rode the bounce off the concrete, found myself standing on my feet, and felt nothing. Walked over to a nearby storefront's glass windows to check myself out in the reflection. My face was covered in blood. I realized at this point that I had hit my head so hard, that sudden death could be next. I reflexively took a selfie with my iPhone and posted it to twitter "just in case" ? I won't post it, but imagine an early 20s ex-scene kid with snakebites, lovely hair medium length swoop hair, & an eyebrow split wide open, with the accompanying blood river down the face/neck. The cop motioned for me to come towards him, so I did. He was somewhere between 45 and 60, salt n pepper hair/beard, a sergeant or some poo poo. "That was quite a spill boy, want me to call the hurtbox" (I had extremely nice & comprehensive full coverage through my employer) "Will that cost me money?" "Yeah" "... gently caress it, I'll call a cab" Before I could turn away, he says "let me get a look at that first", his leather gloved hand started poking just above my right eye in the cold February air. You know those vinyl bus seats that every public school bus has? Have you ever ripped that vinyl? That gooey feel as it rips? He pushed my face a little more. I felt that ripping vinyl seat feel, on my face. Some warmth trickled down. "You're gonna need stitches" I said nothing, and stumbled five blocks uphill. Called a cab (this was slightly before the ubiquity of uber), took all my blood soaked clothes off, cleaned the blood off my face, changed into new clothes, and waited. I noticed a significant, golf-course sized divot on the right side of my headphones. Got to the ER, told them I had a concussion. They asked me what day it was, I reflexively pulled my phone out of my pocket and read the date to them. They sighed. I was calm as a cucumber the entire time. Eventually, this big ole cafeteria lunch lady looking nurse comes into the room, takes one look at my face, and goes "oh no, honey. Let me go get the good nurse", pivots on her heels, and glides right back out the room. That's when the panic set in. The good nurse? Why would it matter? Did I just permanently gently caress up my face?! This flamboyantly gay nurse in his late 20's strides in, "oh she wasn't kidding... Don't worry! You're going to look exactly the same". He stitched me up. I called work, let them know I just hit my head and got stitches but I would be there soon. It was about 11:30 by this point. They were adamant that I now had to take 6 weeks off, as programming telematics software is not something you're allowed to do with a serious concussion. I won't lie, that hosed me way up. At the rec of a friend who works in hockey, I started a noopept regimen to help with recovering from the concussion, and quit all drinking for 3+ months. The benefits are dubious, and sublingually dosing that tasted like poo poo, but I was scared. I'd be thirsty, get up from my desk with my glass. Go set the glass down, start the faucet. Forget what I was there for, go sit back down. Get mad that I left the faucet on, go turn it off. Go sit back down, realize I was still thirsty. Finally fill the glass. Go sit back down. Realize I forgot the glass. Get unreasonably upset at myself & the situation. Go drink the entire glass, leave it there, go sit down. Repeat. Wouldn't say that I'm markedly dumber or anything after that, but I can say with some confidence that I lost 5-10 IQ points that day. Thankfully evolution has supplied us with enough slack for such situations. Oh, and. That nurse used the wrong kind of thread when he stitched my face up. It was supposed to dissolve, but it didn't. So after the worst concussion symptoms stopped, I would wake up in the middle of the night with an insane burning sensation in my eyebrow as the thread worked its way out. Eventually, enough of it would stick out in a given stitch that I'd be able to pull it. I will never forget the unsettlingly deep "slippage" feelings in my face as I smoothly pulled those stitches out of my healed face with a tweezer. Full on panic attacks because it felt like my face was ready to "let go" and split back open. Please, please, please. Wear a helmet, and be loving careful in the bathroom, too. For whatever its worth, I managed to slip in the shower last year, and slammed my forehead onto a "rustic" cast iron towel rack. I got a harry potter lookin scar that faded surprisingly fast, and a few weeks of slurred speech (which did not happen the first time). It took me a lot longer to bounce back from that even though it was far less of a hit. Sports fan or not, if you take anything away from this story, let it be that concussions are not necessarily some 'minor' thing that macho dudes can just brush off. You only get one brain. You do not want to be in the position to understand exactly why Dave Mirra died (he killed himself with a gun because of all the concussions he had)
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Apr 11, 2022 06:53
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When I was a kid of about 7 or 8 we lived on Sri Lanka for a few years, which had way higher waves than my home country of Germany. My parents would let me play in the ocean unsupervised for hours and I was a huge water rat so they felt pretty safe about it. One time we visited the north which somehow had way higher waves than where I usually played, and i would play a game where i ran into the waves, way taller than I was, and was thrown around a bit until I'd get up and do it again. Well one time there was a really powerful one and I got thrown around and when I tried getting up... It just went on. I couldn't. I was tumbling and tumbling and slowly panicking as I couldn't get up, the wave was pulling me back again without letting up and the next one crashed over me, and then the next, finally pushing me back onto the shore. I got up with what felt like my last strength and stumbled back to the Bungalow we were staying, didn't tell anybody about it lol. Same week my mom almost got pulled out from a reef we were exploring, literally told us to run and got away bloody and traumatized. We all learned something that week!
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Apr 11, 2022 07:06
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Caught Covid right at the start of the pandemic in the US for 40 straight days. My O2 got down to 87% and couldn't get admitted to a hospital at the time. Couldn't breathe, extremities were turning purple, lost 25 lbs and was a skeleton by the end of it. At one point I didn't sleep for 5 days and I thought that was the end of it for me.
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Apr 11, 2022 07:17
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Driving at night when it was snowing pretty heavily. A truck sped past me and threw a ton of slushy snow all over my windshield. I couldn't see poo poo and in the seconds it took for the wipers to clear the slush off I was sure I was going to die.
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Apr 11, 2022 07:26
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I was 19 or 20 and went to the Oregon coast with a friends family. We were swimming in the ocean and we got out too far and I couldn’t get back in over the riptide. Friends Dad swam out and saved me and the entire time he was yelling at me to kick and swim hard and I just thought he was being a dick. When we got back to shore he hugged me and apologized cause he was just so scared and I realized how close to dying I was and I just broke down and cried. Driving back from a weekend away my ex-wife and I were coming up a two lane highway in the dead of night with zero cell phone reception. Oncoming semi just starts honking like crazy and I got all freaked out and this car trying to pass the semi over a blind hill swerves out of my lane at the last second and I slammed on my breaks so hard to avoid him that my drivers seat misaligned on its tracks and had to be dismantled and repaired.
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Apr 11, 2022 08:26
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I was at some warehouse punk party that was so packed you could barely move and saw a small clearing to stand in, so I slipped over to it and felt this cold swipe across my forehead. Then I looked to the left and saw a tomahawk buried deep into the wall. Was so drunk at the time I was like "duhh, almost died lol" but woke up the next morning like holy poo poo. Also my dad driving 80mph into a traffic jam because he wasn't paying attention to the road. My entire family and someone elses family would be dead as gently caress if I hadn't started screaming at the top of my lungs. Also like 10 other times on the road that aren't interesting, but I'd have been toast if I had been there one second earlier or later. gently caress driving.
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Apr 11, 2022 08:55
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Oh yeah I also had a recent one where I was floating down a river and hung off the raft to piss in the water and then snagged my toe on a rock and broke it, which also sucked me under the raft for like 30 seconds in mild rapids. My brother managed to yank me out but I thought i was hosed.
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Apr 11, 2022 09:06
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Living in Korea. One Saturday night I ate my girlfriend’s rear end in a top hat way the gently caress out, she went home, a few hours later I started to get really bad E. Coli poisoning (I think). I was up all night puking and making GBS threads out solid, then liquid, then nothing. Tried to drink water but it wouldn’t stay down, body forced me onto the toilet every 15 minutes and I would just dry heave mucus, spit, stomach fluids or nothing all over my feet onto the floor in front of the toilet. Got so dehydrated at like 5AM that I was like a husk and couldn’t move or call for help. Burning up fever and freezing cold. I had a bottle of apple juice next to my bed that I slowly dropped tiny tiny mouthfuls into my mouth like an IV in hopes that my body wouldn’t reject it if I dosed it small enough, unlike like all the other water I tried to drink. I survived the night but if I wasn’t able to find a way to rehydrate I probably would have died. Lesson: Just because she takes a shower and the bootyhole seems squeaky clean, make sure you have someone around overnight in case you start to get sick.
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Apr 11, 2022 09:13
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coldpudding posted:Nearly lost consciousness from severe asthma attack in 5th grade but managed to recover with help from one of the girls who grabbed my spare inhaler for me while the teacher berated me for causing a scene. I mean in teach's defense you were being pretty dramatic. "I can't breathe, I'm dying!" so hacky
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Apr 11, 2022 09:58
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I don't remember how old I was exactly, must have been 7 or so but the water stories reminded me... I was at an indoor swim park somewhere in Hot Spring or Custard SD with my dad. There was a really big, deep water slide that you had to use a heavy foam mat to go down with. I'd been on that slide a couple of times, but the last time I went down, I slipped off the mat somehow and hit the water funny, and started to sink. Then the mat came next and covered the spot right above me. In my panic to resurface I couldn't quite think to swim around the mat, I just kept trying to push up over my head so I could breathe. The water tension and weight wouldn't let me. A lifeguard had to come save me.
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Apr 11, 2022 10:02
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Got really high in the woods at night and thought the halogen headlight on some guys bike was the ghost train coming to collect me
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Apr 11, 2022 10:24
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Ooh, thought of another! Thought my period was gonna kill me once. One morning I was working at my computer and I felt something drop inside me. A lot of women will recognize it from their periods, the sudden feeling of blood/uterine wall sloughing, but this was immediately alarming. First off, I was on day 5 of my cycle and only spotting by that point. Second, this was A LOT of blood. Definitely more than on my heavy flow days. By the time I got to the bathroom, I was literally pouring blood and it was fresh and clean. No clots. I didn't have insurance at this time. So! S-size tampons hold 10 ml of fluid and on a heavy flow day? I probably go through one every 4 hours. I was bleeding through them in under an hour, over and over. Despite getting increasingly dizzy and tired, I wasn't able to sleep because I was bleeding through so quickly. I finally remembered the disposable pads they used in nursing homes, so I managed to get a little sleep by putting a goddamn puppy training pad under me. I remember wondering if something was hemorrhaging inside of me, so I sat in the shower (standing was tough at this point) and paid attention to the blood flow. There was a surge every 7-10 minutes, so I reasoned that it couldn't be something entirely uncontrolled. My body was doing this. 24 hours in and it was still going. I couldn't sit up and my limbs felt tingly. I was so cold and tired. Still losing upwards of 10 ml each hour. I tried calculating how much longer before I'd risk going into shock and I think I came to the conclusion that I'd be down a full pint come 48 hours. I'd need to go to the hospital even if it financially ruined me. But then I also remember thinking that if this was bleeding out, it wasn't such a bad way to die. I thought it must be like what they describe when you're dying of hypothermia. Anyway, it stopped around the 36 hour mark. I noticed the blood had suddenly begun clotting and became that familiar thick, dark red. Then it just stopped completely within an hour of that change. When I finally got insurance, I went to see a doc and we figure it was probably menorrhagia. Hasn't happened since! Das Boo fucked around with this message at 10:30 on Apr 11, 2022 |
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Apr 11, 2022 10:28
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More of a “should have died” Got sent to look for a person somewhere on hospital grounds, didn’t find him in the car park building when I looked and he was found 20/30 minutes later by the armed cops sent to find him. He was a stabber that was on the run. The cops told my boss “This guys on the grounds, keep an eye out but avoid him while we track him down” which my boss somehow decided meant “go and have a look for this guy and ask him to come to the office”.
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Apr 11, 2022 10:35
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Bula Vinaka posted:A few years ago had a rental car, driving down highway with ice patches in winter, no traffic near me, going straight at about 65 mph; the speed limit was 70. Always assumed accidents only really happen if you turn suddenly or hit the brake suddenly so you don't need to go real slow. But it was windy, and a huge blast of wind blew my car diagonal, and for the 10 - 15 seconds or so it took me to try to regain control, I assumed I might die here. There was traffic behind me but not close enough to be an issue, and I think some dry pavement patches helped me regain control. Still can't believe I managed to straighten out. I definitely slowed down after that. I was driving drunk on I -5 [I know how bad it was, I'm more grateful I never hurt anyone drunk driving than for anything else in my life] In the middle of the night so not much traffic. I'd just vandalized an exes car. Somehow lost control of my car which for sure spun completely around, I'm slamming on brakes totally lost control It was slow motion I ended up coming to a complete lurching stop from braking finally though. Look out my driver's window at the waistish high concrete barrier that is along the inside lanes and its right there just a foot away. Not only did my car not slam into that, but no other cars. There for sure was an unusually long stretch of no traffic when I did my 360. It was truly eerie and it hurts my psyche to recall it.  I let it go after that with the ex, he never knew why
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Apr 11, 2022 23:37
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Every time I thought I was gonna die, afterwards I realized I had cum in my pants. This is apparently not that weird, I’ve been told.
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Apr 12, 2022 00:31
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Nigmaetcetera posted:Every time I thought I was gonna die, afterwards I realized I had cum in my pants. This is apparently not that weird, I’ve been told. it's called the little death
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Apr 12, 2022 00:33
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Bad Purchase posted:it's called the little death Yeah but I didn’t have an orgasm, it was just one second I was fine and the next second there was cum in my pants.
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Apr 12, 2022 00:35
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I was hiking with a small group up to base camp and a dude above me dislodged a rock. It was shaped like a saw blade and it came down the hill like a wheel. I jumped/collapsed out of the way at the last second and instead of planting itself in my face, the rock shot past and tore the entire sleeve off my shirt. I only had a little scratch. Now whenever I hear the sound of shifting rocks, I get freaked out
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Apr 12, 2022 00:45
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One time I thought i was going to choke to death on shirataki noodles. I guess they don't sit well with me so i woke up in the middle of the night vomiting them up but instead of just coming out they got caught in my throat and i had to pull them out with my hands. Never again Also one time i hydroplaned and went into a tail spin in the middle of rush hour on the interstate.
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Apr 12, 2022 00:45
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Dixville posted:Also one time i hydroplaned and went into a tail spin in the middle of rush hour on the interstate. Crap, now you are reminding me of something.
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Apr 12, 2022 00:49
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I got into a car and my my belly was resting on the steering wheel. I reclined the seat, but the recline mechanism broke under my weight, leaving me face up, waving my limbs until I could rock back and forth enough to roll out of the car. e: poo poo I read this as experiences where you thought you were going to diet. Phyzzle fucked around with this message at 00:53 on Apr 12, 2022 |
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Apr 12, 2022 00:51
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I had a coworker who told me on multiple occasions that he wanted to write a book or make a website dedicated to all of the times I should have been killed. A minor incident was me accidentally getting a 15,000V white hot arc that jumped to my arm and blew me backwards onto the ground. Half of my body stunk like burnt hair/skin for a while afterward. I'll never forget that bright flash and then me eventually daring to open my eyes on the ground, afterward. A friend witnessed it. The first thing I saw afterward was him standing there, motionless from shock with his mouth hanging wide open like the face of a dang blow-up doll or something.
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Apr 12, 2022 00:52
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Devils Affricate posted:I think the problem here is that you forgot to walk the dinosaur next time, (hopefully not a next time), i now know the process. thanks, bud
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Apr 12, 2022 00:59
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Phyzzle posted:I got into a car and my my belly was resting on the steering wheel. I reclined the seat, but the recline mechanism broke under my weight, leaving me face up, waving my limbs until I could rock back and forth enough to roll out of the car. Lol, I had this sort of happen at highway speeds. It wasn't my belly on the steering wheel, but somehow my seatbelt cause the recline level on my seat and I went from driving normally at around 65mph, to full on laid back in the back seat driving at 65mph. It only took a couple seconds to recover, but it was scary as poo poo.
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Apr 12, 2022 01:01
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This is an after the fact realization that I could have been killed, but one day I drove to work to find the office abuzz with the news that there had been a mass shooter standing in the middle of a busy intersection firing into peoples’ cars and apparently walked up to someone sitting at a stop light and just shot him dead in his drivers seat before being taken out by police. I checked the news story and the time of the incident and figured I had missed being in that exact spot by like two minutes. There were also at least two times when my car skidded on icy road and I did a slow 180 on the freeway and found myself stopped and facing oncoming traffic in a blizzard. These were that “time slows down” thing where i just calmly handled the situation and got out of harm’s way and a few minutes later was like “huh. I came really close to getting splattered just now”
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Apr 12, 2022 01:02
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Catastrophe posted:A minor incident was me accidentally getting a 15,000V white hot arc that jumped to my arm and blew me backwards onto the ground. Half of my body stunk like burnt hair/skin for a while afterward. I'll never forget that bright flash and then me eventually daring to open my eyes on the ground, afterward. A friend witnessed it. The first thing I saw afterward was him standing there, motionless from shock with his mouth hanging wide open like the face of a dang blow-up doll or something. Whoa! Was that in a factory? blight rhino posted:Lol, I had this sort of happen at highway speeds. It wasn't my belly on the steering wheel, but somehow my seatbelt cause the recline level on my seat and I went from driving normally at around 65mph, to full on laid back in the back seat driving at 65mph. It only took a couple seconds to recover, but it was scary as poo poo. Dang. I don’t think it was life threatening but I used to be in a vanpool that included a dim coworker who would often sit shotgun. This person was prone to wide arm gestures when talking and I noticed they were getting close to hitting the gear shift. So when going 65mph and the van was unexpected bumped into neutral I had presence of mind to put it back in drive and request they please don’t do that. Same van with another driver I tried not to backseat drive but during clear conditions with light traffic had to yell “blind spot!” to stop a coworker from swiping another driver. That van saved me a lot of gas money but there were trade offs.
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Apr 12, 2022 01:17
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Flipped my first care 4 times. Walked away with 13 stitchs n a cool scar on my head.
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Apr 12, 2022 01:29
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It really is a collective human experience that so many goons nearly drowned in the ocean from riptides and large waves. Remembered another one: when I was 16, my older sister and I were fighting over some trivial poo poo and I told her to go gently caress herself. She grabbed a large kitchen knife and nearly stabbed me in the gut with it but missed because I was holding a large bag of kettle corn at the time and she stabbed that instead. She then chased me into the laundry room where I was able to quickly slam the door shut and slide the dryer over to barricade myself in there. This all happened in front of my mother, who was hysterically crying for my sister to stop it, but it fell on deaf ears. My sister wanted to kill me. My sister is schizophrenic, bipolar, and was heavily into drugs at the time, so all of that contributed to her episode. I remember hearing my mom telling her she’s calling the cops, and she left the house and skipped town for a few days. Had I not been holding the giant bag of popcorn, I’m certain she would have outright stabbed me to death with my mother watching. R.I.P., bag of kettle corn. 1996-1996.
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Apr 12, 2022 01:50
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my near-drowning experience was in an above ground pool. i was pretty young and still used those waterwing things to keep me afloat. but i guess that day i thought i was ready to swim without them, so i took them off and jumped in, far enough to be out of reach of the side. my mom and aunt were both already in the pool having a conversation, but not paying attention, and i couldn't keep my head above water. i was flailing frantically and getting the occasional breath and shouting for a minute or so, thinking this was the end, when one of them finally floated over and scooped me up. apparently they had noticed, but thought i was just joking or playing around. i guess i've always been so good at sarcastic deadpan delivery that even my own mother thought her toddler was drowning ironically 
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Apr 12, 2022 02:03
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This isn't as dramatic a story as many of the others, but it's one of the worst feelings I've ever felt. When I was seventeen, I had spine surgery to correct scoliosis I had developed from another, congenital physical disability (longish story). Spent several hellish days in ICU before I 'graduated' to a regular hospital room. I hadn't had much of an appetite since the surgery for obvious reasons, and this particular day I had skipped lunch. Following lunch was walk therapy: walking down the hospital hallway. I was so weak from a combination of my surgery and not eating much that I began to feel faint as we were walking. I remember telling the nurse that I didn't feel well, but she thought I was faking to get out of therapy and didn't believe me. My mom finally saw how ghostly pale I was and managed to get a wheelchair underneath me before I collapsed. I legitimately don't think there are many worse feelings than the sense of feeling faint, like the world is spiraling away from you and there's nothing you can do to stop it.
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Apr 12, 2022 02:28
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These posts were in sequence and I like to think they were related:Chumbawumba4ever97 posted:What happened? 12 pound baby that came out sideways? dr.acula posted:near head-on collision from being forced out of my lane into oncoming traffic
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Apr 12, 2022 02:29
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I was nearly strangled to death by some rando drunk ex soldier once. I help out at my churches cultural festival. It's polish, so the folk dance troupe likes to bring their own vodka to performances. Anywho, I was chilling in the changing room to keep an eye on the troupes stuff, when this very drunk dude walks in an starts asking me for a ride home. Only problem is I'm a) disabled, so I don't drive, and even if I did b)I'm drunk. So I tell the guy as politely as I can that he's probably better off looking elsewhere for a ride. He flips out and gets in my face. I'm trying to stay calm and de-escalate the situation, but I figure a fight is about to happen. Sure enough, homebody picks me up off the chair I'm sitting on and bodyslams me into the ground, anyway chocking happens. I remember my vision going totally black and a deep sense of calm. No bright lights or dead relatives, just a feeling of "it's okay, let go." Luckily a passerby saw what was going down and pulled the dude off me, but I figured I was seconds away from death.
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Apr 12, 2022 02:40
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Got stung by a wasp a year and a half ago, while at a cottage an hour away from the closest hospital. Guess who found out at that moment that he's allergic to wasp stings? <------ this guy. Called 911 and by sheer luck an ambulance was about 10 minutes out, instead of the usual 30-45 minutes. Took one look at me and whammo, epipen, load up and sirens blaring. Had to hit me with it again in the ambulance cause the lungs and throat were going "gently caress this poo poo dude you're on your own." I've started immunotherapy and carry 2 epipens with me everywhere I go. Yayyyyy. Also cost me 0$ for all this crap, I love you 
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Apr 12, 2022 02:59
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When i was a kid my mom and i got clipped by a semi going at least 80 on a patch of black ice. Our car spun onto the ditch hard enough that we did a couple rotations on the snow and would have easily died if we'd have hit anything solid like the fence that was a few feet from where the car stopped. With the both of us having what felt like concussions, we then had to wait to flag down assistance at around 2 am on a desolate stretch of highway in the dead of winter. Amazingly the car just needed some bodywork and a door replacement and was drivable a week later. if we were in anything less than a suv I imagine we'd have hit the fence and I would not be posting here now.
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Apr 12, 2022 03:31
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It was the summer of 2007. My brother had just bought a new bike a couple months prior. He and my wife had signed up for riding classes and I was supposed to meet them for lunch while their class was on break for a couple hours. I was waiting for a new rear tire for my Triumph and he told me I could take his bike. So I grabbed my gear and headed that way. At that point, I'd been riding various sportbikes for about 10 years and that day I learned a quick lesson in the lack of clearance on a cruiser especially on one with non-folding foot pegs. I was riding a decent pace but nothing crazy when I came to the end of a road that has two short 90° curves and then a stop sign. During that second 90°, I leaned and levered the rear wheel off the ground and slid. The bike stopped quickly when it hit the grass (red x) but I flew off over the bars before finally hitting the purple x with my head and right shoulder. As I went over the bars I thought "im Luckily, I was geared up as usual and had a full helmet unlike my visual aide. I'm fairly certain that had I not had a helmet on, I'd either be dead or my wife would have to work from home if you know what I mean. I could barely move my right arm for about 3-4 days. Eventually, I had a clavicle resection which definitely helped, but even to this day certain motions make it click or pop it gets worn out easily. 
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Apr 12, 2022 04:18
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