ITT we are middle management

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Escape From Noise

Hey! Just dropping by your workspace while you're in the middle of you doing your work to remind you that the company is concerned about increasing productivity. We're going to have several meetings about it this week. There'll be donuts! Hahaha! Mondays, am I right?

# ? Apr 19, 2022 08:16

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 20:49

Viginti Septem: Oculus Noctuae

Sorry, I can't attend your meetings, I have way too much on my plate this week.

# ? Apr 19, 2022 13:13

Viginti Septem: Oculus Noctuae

Well actually, I'm glad you're all here. I could really use a hand, or eight, knocking out these tasks.

# ? Apr 19, 2022 13:14

Escape From Noise

Sorry, attendance is mandatory. But remember: donuts! Maybe even coffee?

# ? Apr 19, 2022 13:24

google THIS

Ok, annual reviews are coming up, so let's go around the table and discuss any achievements you've had that I can take credit for, and any balls I've dropped that I can blame on you. Remember, we're brainstorming here, so there are no wrong answers

# ? Apr 19, 2022 13:28

biosterous

standing outside the washroom with a stopwatch and a clipboard when you go in. listening carefully at the door and making notes about the sounds and durations. haha it's just for productivity reasons, you know how it is!!

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? Apr 19, 2022 14:14

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

Hi, just calling to follow up on your email saying that your phone isn't working and you will only be reachable by email. If I don't get a call back from you I will assume the best way to reach you is by phone.

# ? Apr 19, 2022 14:34

Dr. Honked: eat it you slaaaaaaag

i'm going to need you to go ahead and uuuuhhhhhhhhhhh leverage more synergy

^{thanks deep dish pete moss and Plant MONSTER}

# ? Apr 19, 2022 15:17

Escape From Noise

google THIS posted:

Ok, annual reviews are coming up, so let's go around the table and discuss any achievements you've had that I can take credit for, and any balls I've dropped that I can blame on you. Remember, we're brainstorming here, so there are no wrong answers

# ? Apr 19, 2022 16:44

Sherbert Hoover: Working hard, thank you!

Thanks for the offer but I really have to get back to watching videos and posting for the first 4 hours of every day.

^{this sig is protected by Simsmagic!}

# ? Apr 19, 2022 16:54

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

Sherbert Hoover posted:

Thanks for the offer but I really have to get back to watching videos and posting for the first 4 hours of every day.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Apr 19, 2022 17:40

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

i'm an essential asset to this business. i like to think that i'm here to make an example for the boys on the floor lol

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Apr 19, 2022 17:41

Escape From Noise

Look, I'm going to need you to do your job better. No. I don't know how to do it. I barely even understand what you do, but I'm sure you can do it better!

# ? Apr 19, 2022 17:57

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

sorry, I tried to leverage my network in procurement but it looks like you won't be able to expense a home blowjob ghost. you could try writing a memo to occupational health about it... if you can convince them it's an ergonomic blowjob ghost they may be able to requisition one and charge it to our cost center

Join the BYOB Army

^{thank you again Saoshyant!!}

# ? Apr 19, 2022 18:01

Sarah Cenia: Laying in the forest, by the water
Underneath these ferns
You'll never find me

hey i know that you're pretty swamped here with the thing we want done, but there's gonna be a luncheon and team building meeting downtown today and attendance is mandatory. don't forget about that project! I'll see ya there, bud!

# ? Apr 19, 2022 18:24

Manifisto

listen johnson. both you and I know that you do absolutely diddly squat around here. any time you're not posting on that lavender and teal website with the kitten, you're in the can or getting coffee. here's the thing: I don't care. our company produces sex arses for god's sake, they sell themselves. pretty much anything you or I could do would just screw up the business. come up with a list of ten brilliant ideas I can take credit for that will never be implemented, tell everyone who asks that I'm busting your balls and leveraging your synergies, I will write a glowing performance review for you, and we'll collect our paychecks and gently caress off as soon as the boss heads out to golf. sound good?

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Apr 19, 2022 18:29

Manifisto

on an unrelated note, please post in my thread, "brilliant but impractical business ideas for a sex arse company"

# ? Apr 19, 2022 18:34

How Wonderful!: I only have excellent ideas

I have never had the kind of job that had a middle manager really so I'm just spitballing here, but I suppose I draw my katana and start swinging wildly

-sig by Manifisto! goblin by Khanstant! News and possum by deep dish peat moss!

# ? Apr 19, 2022 22:10

Sherbert Hoover: Working hard, thank you!

ah so you want to manage your middle, do you? good thing you've come to us. step one, stop eating that cheeseburger. spit it out.

^{this sig is protected by Simsmagic!}

# ? Apr 19, 2022 22:12

Escape From Noise

Sherbert Hoover posted:

ah so you want to manage your middle, do you? good thing you've come to us. step one, stop eating that cheeseburger. spit it out.

What if I'm focused on growth?

# ? Apr 19, 2022 22:19

Sherbert Hoover: Working hard, thank you!

Escape From Noise posted:

What if I'm focused on growth?

yes, i can see that you are

^{this sig is protected by Simsmagic!}

# ? Apr 19, 2022 22:21

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

How Wonderful! posted:

I have never had the kind of job that had a middle manager really so I'm just spitballing here, but I suppose I draw my katana and start swinging wildly

when you were having premarital sex, i mastered the way of middle management

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Apr 19, 2022 22:22

treasure bear

goldilocks took my management job

# ? Apr 19, 2022 22:42

Bacon Taco: Now with extra narwhal meat!
HAIKOOLIGAN

i need you to set up a pre-meeting to discuss the agenda for the meeting, in which we're going to brainstorm how to enhance our kpis before the end of the quarter

too real?

# ? Apr 19, 2022 22:46

treasure bear

Bacon Taco posted:

i need you to set up a pre-meeting to discuss the agenda for the meeting, in which we're going to brainstorm how to enhance our kpis before the end of the quarter

too real?

can we circle back to this after our preeting? really want to hammer out a bluesky agenda here, get the key stakeholders on board and really push the boat out with deliverables

# ? Apr 19, 2022 22:50

Bacon Taco: Now with extra narwhal meat!
HAIKOOLIGAN

treasure bear posted:

can we circle back to this after our preeting? really want to hammer out a bluesky agenda here, get the key stakeholders on board and really push the boat out with deliverables

yeah we can do that, but we need to schedule the premeeting at like 6 pm, and i won't be there, so i'll need you to read my mind and then cc me on what you guys accomplished

# ? Apr 19, 2022 22:59

Heather Papps: hello friend

i know i'm a few minutes late but how the gently caress are there no donuts left

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Apr 19, 2022 23:45

Farecoal: There he go

There isn't room in the budget for donuts, sorry. Oh, before I forget, the C levels will all be at a work retreat in Switzerland next week!

# ? Apr 20, 2022 01:14

frump truck: hello... again!

hey! look down! it's me, the littlest manager. i have little tiny progress reports for you to fill out. don't step on me!!!

# ? Apr 20, 2022 12:39

frump truck: hello... again!

hey! down here! it's me again, the littlest manager. just wanted to tell you that you've had a HUGE effect on our sales this quarter! get it?

still don't step on me though!!!!

# ? Apr 20, 2022 12:43

Dr. Honked: eat it you slaaaaaaag

i am the middlest manager. i look down on the littlest manager, but i look up to the biggest manager.

^{thanks deep dish pete moss and Plant MONSTER}

# ? Apr 20, 2022 13:04

Rick: When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.

*adds an appointment to Treasure Bear's calendar to come home and update us about (you know what) without talking to them about it first*

:sss: :tbear: Oel ngati kameie Los Ingobernables de Onsite BYOB
Seared tuna steak, served with ponzu sauce and wasabi.

FrankeeFrankFrank on 07:55 May 03, 2015 posted:

sometimes i rub Fabreeze on my hands and now my hands are very dry.

FrankeeFrankFrank on 04:55 Apr 10, 2017 posted:

It was nice knowing you all. Sometimes.

I still believe in Second Winter. Put this in your sig if you also believe in that and that it is real and not fake like the others say.

# ? Apr 20, 2022 13:06

Sherbert Hoover: Working hard, thank you!

Rick posted:

*adds an appointment to Treasure Bear's calendar to come home and update us about (you know what) without talking to them about it first*

Hi Rick, you busy? Good, good.

I don't know if you got Manifisto's email last week, but we are using brackets instead of asterisks to indicate action. It's a legal thing, you know how it is. Just wanted to make sure we're all on the same page here, alright?

^{this sig is protected by Simsmagic!}

# ? Apr 20, 2022 14:21

Viginti Septem: Oculus Noctuae

Malcolm in the middle management

# ? Apr 20, 2022 14:34

Armitag3: Forget it Jake, it's cybertown.

Rick posted:

*adds an appointment to Treasure Bear's calendar to come home and update us about (you know what) without talking to them about it first*

Hey Rick, how's it going?

H- yes, it's about the asterisks. Did you get the email? You see it's a legal thing now, so we use brackets instead. Sherbert already talked to you? Good, good. I'll go ahead and get you a copy of that email. Thanks.

# ? Apr 20, 2022 14:35

Escape From Noise

Hey Rick, what's happenin'?

Ah. I dunno.

Well, uh, rumor around town says you might be thinkin' about using asterisks instead of brackets

# ? Apr 20, 2022 15:02

Manifisto

MEMO TO MIDDLE MANAGERS REGARDING ASTERISKS AND BRACKETS

Date: 4/20
From: Manifisto
To: Middle Managers
Re: Asterisks and Brackets

It has come to the attention of senior management that certain middle managers continue to tolerate the use of asterisks, rather than brackets, to indicate action. As per legal, such disregard of company policy creates unacceptable risks both from a litigation and reputation standpoint. Effective immediately, any further use of asterisks to indicate action will result in a stern talking-to for any middle manager involved, unless said middle manager can demonstrate persuasively that this was the fault of the employee, not the middle manager. In the latter eventuality, the culpable employee will be terminated immediately, and the middle manager will be commended and, at upper management's discretion, recommended for promotion.

In summary:

* employees must use brackets, rather than asterisks, to indicate action
* middle managers bear full responsibility for employee infractions, unless it was the employee's fault
* in light of the 4/20 holiday, I am ripped to the loving tits while dictating this, holy poo poo

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Apr 20, 2022 16:08

Armitag3: Forget it Jake, it's cybertown.

FW: Rick
CC: Sherbert, Esc From Noise

Hey Rick,

Circling back as per our talk

All the best,
Armitage
Department Associate Manager

Manifisto posted:

MEMO TO MIDDLE MANAGERS REGARDING ASTERISKS AND BRACKETS

Date: 4/20
From: Manifisto
To: Middle Managers
Re: Asterisks and Brackets

It has come to the attention of senior management that certain middle managers continue to tolerate the use of asterisks, rather than brackets, to indicate action. As per legal, such disregard of company policy creates unacceptable risks both from a litigation and reputation standpoint. Effective immediately, any further use of asterisks to indicate action will result in a stern talking-to for any middle manager involved, unless said middle manager can demonstrate persuasively that this was the fault of the employee, not the middle manager. In the latter eventuality, the culpable employee will be terminated immediately, and the middle manager will be commended and, at upper management's discretion, recommended for promotion.

In summary:

* employees must use brackets, rather than asterisks, to indicate action
* middle managers bear full responsibility for employee infractions, unless it was the employee's fault
* in light of the 4/20 holiday, I am ripped to the loving tits while dictating this, holy poo poo

# ? Apr 20, 2022 16:12

Sherbert Hoover: Working hard, thank you!

RE: MEMO TO MIDDLE MANAGERS REGARDING ASTERISKS AND BRACKETS

Date: 4/20
From: Sherbert Hoover
To: Manifisto; Middle Managers
Re: Asterisks and Brackets

Thanks for this.

Sherbert Hoover
Middle Manager

Manifisto posted:

MEMO TO MIDDLE MANAGERS REGARDING ASTERISKS AND BRACKETS

Date: 4/20
From: Manifisto
To: Middle Managers
Re: Asterisks and Brackets

It has come to the attention of senior management that certain middle managers continue to tolerate the use of asterisks, rather than brackets, to indicate action. As per legal, such disregard of company policy creates unacceptable risks both from a litigation and reputation standpoint. Effective immediately, any further use of asterisks to indicate action will result in a stern talking-to for any middle manager involved, unless said middle manager can demonstrate persuasively that this was the fault of the employee, not the middle manager. In the latter eventuality, the culpable employee will be terminated immediately, and the middle manager will be commended and, at upper management's discretion, recommended for promotion.

In summary:

* employees must use brackets, rather than asterisks, to indicate action
* middle managers bear full responsibility for employee infractions, unless it was the employee's fault
* in light of the 4/20 holiday, I am ripped to the loving tits while dictating this, holy poo poo

^{this sig is protected by Simsmagic!}

# ? Apr 20, 2022 16:13

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 20:49

Manifisto

FOLLOWUP MEMO TO MIDDLE MANAGERS REGARDING INITIAL ASTERISKS AND BRACKETS MEMORANDUM

Date: 4/20
From: Manifisto
To: Middle Managers
Re: Correction Regarding Asterisk and Bracket Policy

Due to the oversight of an unnamed functionary (whose name rhymes with "loving brian,"), the previous upper management memorandum of today's date regarding asterisks and brackets contained an inadvertent misstatement. I am not "ripped to the loving tits," the dictation software mistranscribed the correct statement which was actually "I am tight-lipped about oven mitts," referring to our general policy of secrecy regarding Project Potroast. Please disregard that part while hewing strictly to the remainder of the memorandum.

In summary:

* not entirely sure what I was talking about but now I want potroast

# ? Apr 20, 2022 16:22

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