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 12/13: Christine Seeing the headlights come on from a junk pile and realizing that the car has outsmarted them is perfect cinema. Christine rules. It has glorious moments like the Fury igniting and streaking off into the night like the fireball, it has an immaculate synthy Carpenter score, it has delicious details like Keith Gordon's increasingly cartoonish greaser outfits and the jagged toothy mouth that gets knocked into the Fury's grille at one point. And it somehow delivers enough spooky off-kilter atmosphere that the characters figuring out that what's going on is a car that was born evil, on some very scant evidence, just feels like a natural conclusion. Take that, shitters!!  .5 / 5 13/13: The Conjuring 2 Larded up with even more jump scares and pained facial expressions from Vera Farmiga than the original. That means the roller coaster feels longer and more rickety on the way to the top, but it's still super fun when it finally takes the plunge. James Wan is great at taking all the standard haunted house spookery and filming it explosively. When people or couches go flying into the wall they hit, there's a big dangeorus stabby tree that gets practically a trailer's worth of foreshadowing, Patrick Wilson gets to do a lazy Elvis impression, it's a fun time.  .5 / 5
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May 30, 2022 02:06
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 - (69). 1408 (2007) Directed by Mikael Håfström; Screenplay by Matt Greenberg, Scott Alexander, and Larry Karaszewski; Based on "1408" by Stephen King King Spring II: 15/13 I had seen this once right around when it came out but didn’t super remember it or how I felt, so I was interested to revisit it. In many ways it just sort of seems forgotten. 2007 is an odd time kind of between waves of King adaptions and people tend to be really unfairly harsh to King adaptions acting like there’s only bad ones and the only good ones are because of someone else. King’s wrote god knows how many stories and there’s been god knows how many adaptions so obviously there’s gonna be a lot of crap, but there’s also a lot of great films based from great stories. 1408 probably just kind of falls somewhere in the middle. Its a solidly spooky story done pretty well, but there’s not really anything overly memorable or killer about it. And in truth it does feel like it goes off the rails a bit in the back half and maybe suffers from that familiar thing where a King short story is stretched out by another writer to try and turn it into a full feature length story. Once spooky hotel room shenanigans start to give way to arguably more trite family melodrama and “what is real?” takeouts things feel like they really start to kind of come apart. But I don’t think it ever really falls apart. The interesting thing about the film I guess is that it has three endings. I watched all three and I’m not really sure I have a favorite. I kinda f prefer the theatrical but that could just be because its the first one I saw as part of the film instead of just a stand alone scene on Youtube. But they’re all just kind of different shades of spooky endings and I think the main takeaway from all of them is that there’s really not much more there and no deeper subtext. Hafstrom and Co are just trying to tell a spooky story. And that’s fine. I suspect King was just trying to tell a spooky story too. Its another arguably self insert of a main character who is a writer of scary books, but its not like King lost a child or anything and I don’t think that part of the story is even in his story. If there’s something deeper in play here I’d imagine its just King kind of saying that maybe he has a little guilt about writing scary stories that he doesn’t necessarily believe in? Or maybe him saying he doesn’t believe in most of them but he can still scare himself on occasion with a good one? I dunno. I suspect its just a spooky story. The man’s written hundreds of them, they can’t all be self reflection and inner thought. Some are just stories about giant rats and turtle gods. But there is something kind of interesting about this when you put it against The Shining. Now a ton of negative reviews are just “this is no Shining” and “Kubrick > King” and all that stuff. But I honestly think that’s a little silly because if anything this feels like a determined reverse Shining. Like instead of a writer going insane from a massive abandoned haunted hotel that wants him to hurt his family here he’s got a story about a writer trapped in one room of a filled hotel that’s haunted and driving him insane and trying to get him to hurt himself. That’s actually kind of cool. Its not as good as the Shining but the idea that this is a kind of writing experiment for King to see if he can reverse the story like that makes it kind of clever. It also makes the movie’s inserts of family stuff and the room targeting his wife kind of contradictory to that idea… but what can you do? Adaptions are adaptions. All in all I like it. Its not one of his best but its definitely not one of his worse at all. Its probably one of the better King films I’ve watched this month, but to be fair I’ve been watching a lot of Children of the Corn sequels that don’t even have anything to do with King. Cusack is good and most of the hotel room spookiness is pretty solid and tense. I do think it drifts a bit when it introduces that other stuff and the multiple endings feel like they speak to a lack of vision. And of course I would have liked to see some more Sam Jackson. And some of the effects of the ghosts and tiny Sam are a little hokey. But that feels kind of appropriate since it feels like King’s original story was a little more campy in nature and the film did mostly have that feel until it got more melodramatic. An uneasy final act and varied endings probably pull this down a bit but its a movie I enjoyed and got me thinking about it afterwards. So I can’t be mad about that.  51 (70). Night of the Living Dead 3D (2006) Directed by Jeff Broadstreet; Screenplay by Robert Valding Watched on AmazonPrime Knockoffs of the 13 Dead: 10/13 Yet another Night of the Living Dead knockoff that for some reason I paid money for and deeply regret it. This is a poorly made, dull film. Following the original script loosely this one adds some characters and changes the setting, trying to be something a little more edgy or like with the vague air of a Rob Zombie fan film? I don’t know. Whatever its going for isn’t very well realized because its just so poorly made. Some of the cast is competent, in particular the Barbara lead Brianna Brown who wasn’t exactly putting in an award winning performance here but as a soap opera actress felt a step above the majority of this cast. Greg Travis sneaks in as well as a vaguely recognizable character actor and Sid Haig actually has a bigger role than I expected but they’re both just kind of on cruise control like they know what they’re making and they’re not gonna work too hard on this one. Brown actually seems like she’s trying and while I am not gonna celebrate her role or anything she actually won me over enough that I’m curious to see her in something else and honestly might have watched the sequel to this one if she was listed in the cast. It just felt like she tried and in this case that earns a second chance. And its not that I blame the rest of the cast. This is just a poorly made movie top to bottom. Bad shooting, bad effects, bad dialogue, bad story. Zombies seem to transport or just end up where the story needs them to be without it necessarily making sense how they got there. There’s a lot of character and story beats that are clearly supposed to be poignant and just don’t hit at all. There’s also this whole explanation for what caused zombies offered by the insert of Haig and his character that just kind of sound stupid and really doesn’t add anything. Its also like why did Haig’s character string it out so much? There’s no real clear character motivation for that… it just got us further along in the script. And you didn’t even need to. You could have just gotten there on your own. And I think Ben and Barb are supposed to be a romance in this? You know that love/hate kind? That’s really unnecessary and dumb. And boy Barb is wearing a low cut blouse. This whole thing is just dumb, unnecessary, and bad. Oh, and there’s bad 3D shots that look silly in 2D. As they always do. Its just all bad. Bad.  52 (71). The Devil Rides Out (1968) Directed by Terence Fisher; Screenplay by Richard Matheson; Based on The Devil Rides Out by Dennis Wheatley Spook-A-Doodle Challenges: 13/14 gey muckle mowser posted:
I watched a ton of Terence Fisher Frankenstein films this month so I decided to finish out my month watching something else he did. I’ve actually been meaning to see this for a bit. Those old devil cult movies always kind of intrigue but never really feel like they deliver. At least not for me. It feels like maybe they lean a bit too heavily on being “realistic” satanism movies so they’re not really interesting enough and feel a bit like documentaries or they get very silly and over the top. Either way they just never seem to nail the landing for me. This one, I don’t know. It feels like it fell a bit into that first category spending a lot of time kind of dryly explaining magic and theology. Then again its also a Fisher/Hammer film so british dudes standing around talking is kind of part of the package. And to its credit it does mix in action and magic to try and keep things moving. It means that the big conflict scenes are less fights and more battles of will and faith. That’s not the most exciting thing in the world and listening to Christopher Lee sound like a vaguely off the tilt Sunday preacher is a bit give and take. But like for 1968 standards the tricks pulled here and stuff shown is probably pretty cool and interesting. I dunno. I didn’t dislike this at all and maybe I owe it a rewatch some other day when I’m not on the burn out end of a month filled with horror. But the truth is this is kind of how I always feel about Hammer and Fisher films. I appreciate the atmosphere and the setting and the performances and a lot of the elements. But there’s something about it that just never gets out of second gear with me. Time and time again I end up calling them “matinee movies” for me and that’s probably how a lot of people feel. I just watched the Birth of the Living Dead documentary that talks about how Night of the Living Dead (released the same year as this) shocked people by being so scary and exploitative when they thought horror was like this safe, kid friendly matinee genre, And for a lot of people who love these films they probably grew up watching them Saturday and Sunday mornings and afternoons. And I like that stuff. There’s a lot of room in horror for just nice, light, cozy horrors. And this works for that in a lot of ways. But it just doesn’t have that final push for me to call it great. Also it didn’t help that I found the entire Rex/Tanith thing really creepy. There’s a very paternalistic/british vibe to the whole thing but like when its Christopher Lee trying to save his dead war buddy’s son from being sacrificed to the Devil you can kind of go along with it. But when its his buddy kind of creeping on the slightly disturbed cult victim who seems too young for him anyway? That’s just weird. Head in the game, buddy.
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May 30, 2022 06:47
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10. Parents (1989) "You're not a real grown-up - real grown-ups don't get upset" It's the Movie of the Month! About this kid in '50s suburbia who begins to suspect his parents are concealing a monstrous secret from him. Are they? Or are they just kinda weird? I quite liked it. It taps into that basic childhood experience of eavesdropping on adult conversations and only half-getting what they're on about, missing jokes and implications and the sorts of judgments that are unimportant to an adult but deadly serious to a child. Often with this sort of narrative it's obvious that the protagonist isn't crazy and there really is something afoot, but here I spent most of the movie uncertain. The parents are so mundane, so good at presenting these off-kilter things like they're normal, that I was genuinely questioning if there was a secret, or if this was just about the trauma of being a kid who doesn't fit in. It's both, really; the ending takes things in a Raw/Grave direction. And it's got some of the grossest footage of meat this side of Ravenous. Some really striking dream sequences too; movie dreams are often too detailed and explicitly-metaphorical for my liking, but these ones are ace. 3/5 11. The Pale Door (2020)  Some more Shudder backlog. One of my takeaways from this month is that this thread will always add more than 30 movies to my watchlist, so there's absolutely no sense in "saving" horror movies for the next marathon. Anyway, it's a Western action-horror, with a crew of outlaws getting tangled up with a coven of witches and trying to fight their way out. I didn't think much of it. They kinda blew their whole budget on the big cowboys-n-witches shootout in the middle, so the back half of the movie is an uninteresting siege in a nondescript room. The witches are more like charred zombies. They don't do a whole lot of witchy stuff, they mostly run at the outlaws with knives and get blasted. There are parts where they cast spells (or rather where spells happen to the outlaws; we don't see much in the way of them performing magic), but their main interest is punching and stabbing the robbers. The cowboys shoot like thirty of them, and they don't even seem tougher than normal people, there's just no threat to it. The introduction to the witches is pretty cool; the thieves find one sealed in a chest, gagged, guarded by Pinkertons, and it does a great job of establishing a sense of something being deeply wrong. This continues into the coven's hideout, which appears as an eerie, well-staffed brothel. But then the shooting starts and it just becomes a less interesting movie. I mean the gunfight is fun, but I preferred the creepy mystery over what the movie ended up being. In spite of my complaints, I guess I enjoyed watching it. I liked that it was pulpy without self-consciously winking to the audience about it; that the gore was nasty without being excessive; Lester's monologue towards the end was a pretty good scene. It all just could have been so much more. 2/5
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May 30, 2022 12:13
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18. Antebellum This was not good. It was confusing, there are some things like time jumps involved but the sections on either side of the jump seemed to be too long, so it was less like “hey, what’s going on in this movie” and more like “whoops, started another movie in the middle of this one”. The pieces all seemed fine, but the way it was put together was confusing and more damning, somewhat boring, which it really shouldn’t have been. Challenge #11 Horror Noire 18/13 Movies: What Have You Done To Solange?, Kadaicha, Frankenstein Created Woman, Night Of The Living Dead (1990), Straight Jacket, Slaughterhouse Rock, It Came From Outer Space, The Changeover, The Body Snatcher (1945), Anarchy Parlor, Cruising, Found Footage 3D, Whoever Slew Auntie Roo?, The Skeleton Key, The Tingler, The Dead Zone, Slaughterhouse, Antebellum 12/13 Challenges: #1 Woodlands Dark (Kadaicha), #2 Scream Queen (Cruising), #3 Rated PG (Skeleton Key), #4 Music Of The Night (Slaughterhouse Rock), #5 Behind The Screams (Found Footage 3D), #6 The King In Yellow (Solange), #8 A Perfect Getaway (Anarchy Parlor), #9 Hidden Gems (Auntie Roo), #10 The Price Is Right (Tingler), #11 Horror Noire (Antebellium), #12 All Hail The King (Dead Zone), #13 Sins Of The Past (Body Snatcher)
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May 30, 2022 13:58
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13. Drag Me To Hell Will never understand why horror directors in the aughts thought the human representation of pastel-colored plastic computers was a good casting for the genre. Anyways, pretty fun Evil Dead remake transposed onto revenge fantasy against capitalism. Lohman’s performance is kind of shallow but I guess that’s the point. There’s some gross stuff but the Raimi magic really only was there for me during the parking garage fight and the seance, which were both excellent. 2) A Nightmare on Elm Street 3) Scream 4 4) Scream 2022 5) You Won’t Be [Alone 6) The Night House 7) Audition 8) Dracula (1931) 9) Men 10) Scanners 11) Videodrome 12) Us 13) Drag Me To Hell
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May 30, 2022 15:35
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Shorts: Curve (9:51) A woman is trapped in a precarious situation! I was bored by this one - nothing happens, it just dwells on the feeling of the viewer putting themselves in the position, and it didn’t do anything for me. The Armoire (13:33) Good atmospheric entry into the “tall pitch black being is stalking someone through their house” genre, but in this case it’s an apartment and the (vampire?) being haunts an armoire. This was fun. The Herd (16:23) A grungy look at factory farming. Two women escape from a facility that keeps women locked up for disturbing reasons. The End Of All Things (14:24) This was a cool Spanish short. Witchy and folky with a relaxed Gothic atmosphere. Afraid (3:31) Is the woman imagining it or is there a last shot twist that shows what she was afraid of was real? This doesn’t really bring anything new in. Vicious (11:52) Another weird tall pitch black shape entry from Alter but this one doesn’t live in an armoire. Jumpy and startling, but reasonably well done for that. Challenge #7 Short Cuts And with that my personal challenge is completed as well as GMM’s challenges! Huzzah! 18/13 Movies: What Have You Done To Solange?, Kadaicha, Frankenstein Created Woman, Night Of The Living Dead (1990), Straight Jacket, Slaughterhouse Rock, It Came From Outer Space, The Changeover, The Body Snatcher (1945), Anarchy Parlor, Cruising, Found Footage 3D, Whoever Slew Auntie Roo?, The Skeleton Key, The Tingler, The Dead Zone, Slaughterhouse, Antebellum 13/13 Challenges: #1 Woodlands Dark (Kadaicha), #2 Scream Queen (Cruising), #3 Rated PG (Skeleton Key), #4 Music Of The Night (Slaughterhouse Rock), #5 Behind The Screams (Found Footage 3D), #6 The King In Yellow (Solange), #7 Short Cuts, #8 A Perfect Getaway (Anarchy Parlor), #9 Hidden Gems (Auntie Roo), #10 The Price Is Right (Tingler), #11 Horror Noire (Antebellium), #12 All Hail The King (Dead Zone), #13 Sins Of The Past (Body Snatcher)
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May 30, 2022 16:08
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 Hey all, a remainder that the last day of the challenge is tomorrow, May 31st and all movies must be logged by noon EST on June 1st. Wrap-up posts/totals/final remarks/etc can be posted afterwards but no new films will count. A final post is not mandatory but it will help ensure I don’t miss you for consideration for the prize drawing, I’ve been trying to keep up with all the posts but like I mentioned a few days ago this month was unexpectedly crazy for me and I don’t want anyone to fall through the cracks.I plan on drawing names for the prize winners sometime next weekend.
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May 30, 2022 16:19
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I apologize in advance for the garbage-rear end reviews I will be posting as I cram movoes and write the reviews all at once e: oh wait lmao I totally blanked on the fact that I started the month with the Fear Street trilogy and just haven't written them up. I was like "I have been watching movies, how am I struggling to reach 13" lol VROOM VROOM fucked around with this message at 18:15 on May 30, 2022 |
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May 30, 2022 16:39
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Celia 1989 Directed by Ann Turner Watched on Shudder  A traumatized girl uses the supernatural as a lense through which to interpret the world around her and push back against people who have wronged her and her friends. It all takes place against a backdrop in which rabbits are a metaphor for both communism and childhood innocence. Celia isn't a horror movie in the strict sense, but it's a very effective and surprisingly dark fantasy coming-of-age story. 💀💀💀💀 Spooky Non-American 1960s Challenge 14/13 1. Matango (1963), 2. Mill of the Stone Women (1960), 3. The Brainiac (1962), 4. Kill, Baby… Kill! (1966), 5. Gamera, the Giant Monster (1960), 6. Genocide (1968), 7. The House That Screamed (1969), 8. The Whip and the Body (1963), 9. The Snow Woman (1968), 10. The City of the Dead (1960), 11. The Skeleton of Mrs. Morales (1960), 12. The Devil Rides Out (1968), 13. Spirits of the Dead (1968), The Girl Who Knew Too Much (1963) Bracketology 11/? 1. Night of the Living Dead (1990), 2. Strait-Jacket (1964), 3. National Theatre Live: Frankenstein (2011), 4. Frankenstein Created Woman (1967), 5. The Changeover (2017), 6. It Came from Outer Space (1953), 7. Morgiana (1972), 8. Phantasm II (1988), 9. Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead (1994), 10. The Vampire Doll (1970), 11. Celia (1989) GMM Challenges 14/14 1. The Other Lamb (2019), 2. A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy’s Revenge (1985), 3. Madhouse (1974), 4. Suck (2009), 5. Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006), 6. Don’t Torture a Duckling (1972), 7. Various shorts, 8. The Medium (2021), 9. The Eyes of My Mother (2016), 10. The Tingler (1959), 11, His House (2020), 12. The Dead Zone (1983), 13. The Old Dark House (1932), 14. Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)
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May 30, 2022 17:12
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 Salem’s Lot (2004) Directed by Mikael Salomon; Screenplay by Peter Filardi; Based on 'Salem's Lot by Stephen King King Spring II:16/13 This is one of the few King tv minis I never got around to back in the day… and its not very good. There was a big run of King miniseries on network tv back in the 90s and these days we might be seeing the start of a run of streaming service minis but back in the early 2000s King seemed kind of out of style and these things got relegated to basic cable. Not even like the prestige cable channels. TNT. I don’t hold that against it but you can definitely see some shortfalls in budgeting and maybe the cast not 100% in it. I mean Donald Sutherland and Rutger Hauer barely even show up. And Rob Lowe is in that career valley after he fell from grace and before he had his revival and I dunno. I’m not saying he’s half assing this or anything but there’s something off. Part of that is probably that this makes the mistake of trying to adapt King writing by just having the writer character do voiceovers. King books are a lot of narrative descriptions so some adaptions clearly struggle to translate that to character writing and just resort to doing a straight narrator. That’s awkward most of the time and here it gives a real dry sense to things and makes Lowe’s Ben feel kind of removed from everything and overly cynical. The whole thing kind of feels a bit overly cynical. Salem’s Lot like a lot of King stories is about the secrets and evils in a small town, but as the narrative clearly says also the humanity and good. That lesson is included in the translated text of the film but it doesn’t feel like it does a very good job following through on it. King stories are all character and you really need to sink in with them, but it all feels very casual and passing here. Its the same length as Hooper’s 1979 version which did a better job, so you can’t just blame the time limits. And you’ve got a longer run time than most feature films here so like… you just gotta make it work. But I dunno. Through the first half of the film I just didn’t really like or care about any of the characters and that made everything a bit of a chore and not that impactful. There’s a lot of stories in here. Affairs and blackmail, sexual abuse, something vague about homophobia and repressed sexuality? Its all kind of thrown together in a way that leaves a real stink but never actually dives deep enough to do anything with any of it. This is also a common problem with adaptions, especially King stories. There’s a LOT of characters and stories in a King novel. If you don’t have the time for all of them then you have to cut some of them. That’s better than shortchanging them or even worse shortchanging everyone because you’re trying to do it all. I do think things picked up in the second half. I was actively dreading it when the first part clearly ended and second episode began and I started complaining when I realized there was still an hour left. But the last hour actually works a lot better in large part because its past trying to juggle all the characters and stories and just into the vampire apocalypse hell the town has become. This is an aspect that Hooper’s version pretty much skipped but Mike Flanagan’s homage/spiritual remake Midnight Mass finished big with for the final episode. It paid off some of those stories but mostly just kept the ball moving and created some genuinely spooky imagery. The first half of the film really struggles with that with the really tense horror and creepy vampires from Hooper’s being replaced by very generic and bad looking special effects. But by the time all hell’s broken loose its just ghouls in fog eating people and poo poo and its very decently creepy. Its still drags a bit but its better. But in the end this just isn’t good. Its not the worst thing I’ve seen this month but its very much the cheap King miniseries that a lot of people probably think about when they trash King adaptions. There’s huge disappointments like the relative lack of Sutherland’s Straker or the just overall uninspired look of the vampires. I know the Nosferatu look was a Hooper idea and not a King but there’s nothing near the slow floating window kid vampires or creepy stalking vampire imagery that has always stuck with me from the ’79 version. And while the cast is solid on paper they just really don’t feel like they’re in this. If one actor sucks you can blame them but an entire cast performing below their level has to be on the director and screenplay. Micael Salomon’s resume consists almost entirely of other 2000s basic cable King adaptions and DTV genre films. And a Blue Lagoon sequel. Did you know there’s 3 Blue Lagoon movies? Did you know Milla Jovovich starred in one of them? God I am morbidly curious. But no. I am making an active choice not to add these to my watchlist. Anyway, yeah. Its probably the director. And the budget. And the screenplay writer although that’s the guy who did The Craft and Flatliners so I dunno. Maybe he just did his job. He also wrote Chapelwaite, the recent Salem’s Lot prequel/adaption so that’s curious. Maybe it was a do over for him? I don’t know. In the end this is really a product of its time. The poor basic cable budget and the diminished King adaption expectations. A cast of names that feel all kind of feel like they’re depressed about career declines or slumming it on a mediocre production. Hell remember when doing TV was like a bad sign for actors? Even that is kind of an archaic idea with many of today’s most respected actors appearing in TV shows and movie stars happily doing shows. But in 2004 Rob Lowe is just coming off the West Wing and probably hoping that more came out of that than this. And you can’t really blame him. Its just not a very good project and there’s a reason its largely forgotten in the King adaption list.  - (72). ParaNorman (2012) Directed by Sam Fell and Chris Butler; Written by Chris Butler A fun and wholesome film that really hit the spot. I’m definitely feeling horror burnout as the month comes to an end and I try and squeeze stuff in here, and that’s affecting my choices. I’m steering towards less heavy, arty, or harsh horror and more towards light and fun stuff. And this was just perfect in that regard. I actually didn’t remember much of it. I saw it years ago and remembered liking it but I actually thought Norman turned into a monster or something. So that made this in a lot of ways a new watch for me and I thoroughly enjoyed it and not knowing what was coming most of the time. I really enjoy the flip on the zombie movie thing not just in the broad story strokes of the mob of humans and victim zombies but in like funny little scenes like the kids being trapped in a building with the humans trying to break through. Its very clever and funny. The film’s also got a great little wit and that kind of knowing cleverness that makes an adult laugh at something a kid might not get. “What are you doing shooting into civilians, that’s the police’s job!” or “Dad told me not to talk to you/Jackass.” I mean a kid isn’t gonna miss that but its the sort of thing that catches you off guard in a kid’s film. Or like Anna Kendrick’s character’s little horny pout at the hot guy. Its not creepy or overt or anything improper for a kid’s film. Its just something you notice and makes you laugh out loud at. Its probably not the most uproarious comedy for most but its one that just amused me the whole way through and kept a smile on my face nearly the whole time. Except when it made me sad and feel the real feels. I was worried it might go some worrisome place making excuses for the witch burning guys but it really doesn’t. Norman’s heartbreak and horror at what they did and their own guilt and acknowledgement that they were scared. Its maybe a little thin and feels maybe a little off compared to the silly metaphor of the humans going after the zombies. But you know, its a kid’s film and its an obvious metaphor less about forgiveness and more about understanding and compassion. The basic theme is bullying and holy poo poo is that a lesson the world can use these days. Bullying seems so common and everywhere nowadays. Everyone’s so angry and scared and lashing out at anyone and everyone. Its so exhausting and takes its toll. And ParaNorman’s got a very solid and relatable little allegory about that and how people just lose themselves and do t terrible things in it. And the only real answer is to just realize it and stop. Instead of revenge or even justice the first step is really just to stop hurting each other. Its a fun kid’s horror that clearly has a lot of love for the genre and fits a Halloween type vibe. Its a sweet kids story that delivers a universal lesson. Its clever enough to make dumb adult me laugh a lot. I like the animation. I really loved the movie. Maybe not the best of its kind but just a great time for me.  53 (72). Night of the Living Dead: Darkest Dawn (2015) Written and directed by Zebediah De Soto and David R. Schwartz Knockoffs of the 13 Dead: 11/13 This was… good? Lets get it out the way. It looks terrible. Its bad PS2 video game cut scene graphics and for a long time I felt like I was just watching a really boring Twitch stream (aren’t they all). It took a good while to get past that and I honestly don’t blame you if you can’t. But eventually I kind of started to notice everything beyond that. The first thing is that while this is a remake of the original story its not a straight one. It follows the same basic outline and story but changes up more than just the setting and dialogue but a lot of the story and character beats. This started as a novelty that I just kind of appreciated for at least being a little different, but eventually I started to realize it was actually a pretty good quasi original story. The first half is the kind of familiar setup of everyone gathering in the house (or in this case an apartment) and everyone meeting with conflict. And that part really did feel like I was just watching this to watch it. But things start to genuinely steer off into new directions once they change locations. I joked that they were going on video game missions and to some extent they were but now the story was genuinely something new. There was still a familiar outline and I could sort of see stuff coming like when they have to unlock the pumps at a gas station (hilariously named Bub’s). But even when it plays out as you expect it does steer a little differently and get there in its own way. The part that really started to turn me around on the film is the story of Harry Cooper, voiced here by Day of the Dead’s Joseph Pilato. Cooper is still an rear end in a top hat like he is in the original, and maybe even a racist. But he actually is a lot more sympathetic and goes on his own unique journey or loss. There’s a classic scene of the original where he looks the door behind Ben and Barb and when they do get back in he has hell to deal with from Ben and the two wrestle with the gun. That happens here but it plays out in an entirely different direction. Voice acted really well by Pilato and Tony Todd (reprising his role as Ben from the ’90 remake) there’s actually a really poignant story and turn here that plays entirely differently from Romero’s original. I’m even tempted to say its better but its just entirely different and good. Characters showing mercy and love and grief instead of anger and hate and fear. It really worked for me and the final shot we see of Cooper and his daughter genuinely got to me. As did Ben’s ultimate fate (and the fact that the soldiers killed him with a chest wound, not a head wound… almost like they were just cleaning up witnesses). The animation holds this back unquestionably but there’s actually a genuinely good film here. Well acted, a great little script. The kind of thing I’d really hope more people do with the public domain status of Night of the Living Dead, trying to tell their own little stories. Maybe they should have spent a little less on the voice cast if it could have beefed up the animation? I don’t know. But this is a much more interesting and original story than Night of the Animated Dead I watched a couple of days ago. That had better animation (and just as good a cast) but really felt meaningless as a straight adaption. This was a much more rewarding watch because it really did try and do different things. Some of those things feel a lot like a bad video game and that’s a hurdle to get past, but for the entire final act I was hooked and even a little touched. I’m still surprised by that.  54 (73). Frankenstein’s Army (2013) Directed by Richard Raaphorst; Screenplay by Chris W. Mitchell and Miguel Tejada-Flores; Story by Richard Raaphorst and Miguel Tejada-Flores 13 Frankenst13ns: 11/13 If I’m gonna finish my challenges in time I knew I needed to get at least one more movie in last night, but I just couldn’t get into anything. I started and stopped 3 films before I ended up settling on this just because it looked pretty dumb and easy and that’s kind of all I felt capable of at that moment. And yeah… its dumb and easy. There’s not a ton of story here and i couldn’t tell you a single character’s name. Everything just kind of exists to get to the weird creature designs. And man there’s a lot of them. I actually kind of feel like it was overkill so nothing really stands out. It was just weird rear end steampunk zombie cyborg after weird rear end steampunk zombie cyborg. I’m not even sure what the girl got turned into. I guess that was just a Bride reference with the bandages? Its possible there was more of that kind of referential humor in there but it just kind of felt like it flew past so fast nothing really stuck for me. Now I kind of know the sort of people who are super into that kind of stuff and I get that this might not be an issue for them. They’re not coming for story and its fine that there’s only a few seconds of the monster because they’re gonna rewatch it and freeze frame and really study that creature design. And more power to them. I definitely need more of a story and character glue to hold a film together for me and make me care about the monsters and such. This does not have it. Hell the entire story just kind of changes pace for the last act because I guess it turns out zombies with blades on their arm aren’t a huge match for armed soldiers if they know its coming. So they kind of just skip past any kind of progression and just to the creature show. Which you know… ok. I understand what this is about. So I mean… its fine for what it is. Its not something I didn’t enjoy but its not something I was every able to really get into either. Not fully at least. Some people don’t like the found footage aspect but that doesn’t bother me. I like found footage. This definitely didn’t need to be FF but it seems to be there to cover up general poor production values and allows for the breakneck pace of glimpses of monsters. I could nitpick the russian army in WW2 having HD cameras and people probably very much don’t like it because it creates that breakneck only glimpses of characters thing. But that’s clearly by design. The film is what it is because that’s what they wanted it to be. For better or worse. Its got fun elements and is an easy enough watch. And for some this is gonna be something they love. If you wanna see lots of weird zombie nazi cyborg designs go for it. The last act plays more like a video game than a movie but you know… people watch Twitch streams too. So yeah. It is what it is. I didn’t mind it, but I didn’t really like it either.
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May 30, 2022 19:53
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Watching The Runner on Shudder. Should I count that as a short?
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May 30, 2022 20:22
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dorium posted:Watching The Runner on Shudder. Should I count that as a short? Was it a movie that's under an hour?
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May 30, 2022 20:29
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Count Thrashula posted:Was it a movie that's under an hour? Ah ok I must’ve missed the under an hour bit. It’s 38 minutes.
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May 30, 2022 20:46
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11. The Bird With the Crystal Plumage (1970)  The King in YellowAmerican writer Sam Dalmas is just finishing up his stay in Rome when he witnesses an attempted murder, seemingly one of several murders targeting women recently carried out in the city. Alongside the police Sam begins to investigate the murder spree but it isn't long until he realizes that he's in too deep as increasingly brazen attempts are made to murder him and stop the investigation. Much to the chagrin of his English supermodel girlfriend Julia just wants him to stay home and have sex with her. Dario Aregento's directorial debut and it's one hell of a debut. Easily one of his best films though it doesn't quite reach the dizzying heights of Suspiria or Deep Red it's still amazingly confident, stylish, and solidly constructed for his first time on the job. One of the most interesting aspects of the film is how it plays with the imperfect nature of perception and memory as Sam spends most of the film trying to figure out some nagging detail that he can't quite put his finger on about what he saw which of course turns out to be incredibly important and something he doesn't realize until it's far too late. A well constructed mystery that keeps you guessing the entire time. I especially liked how they mention early on that the killer smokes expensive cigars and then make sure to show Sam's friend smoke cigars in every scene to make observant viewers think they're being clever when they're just walking right into a red herring The way the police operate with their proto CSI computer lab that can analyze anything from microscopic fibers to soundwaves (comparing sounds to a library of seemingly every single sound there is. On tape of course) feels almost sci-fi and the cops in general are unusually competent for a giallo, though of course just inept enough to require some American dude they just met do the bulk of the investigative work for them and frequently failing to protect him from the constant attempts on his life. I also liked Sam's relationship with his girlfriend Julia who rightfully points out that he doesn't need to get involved in this at all and they can just leave but he keeps going deeper and deeper at the expense of his home life. Feels almost like a metaphor for addiction where it's always just one more fix except the fix is investigating serial murder.
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May 30, 2022 21:03
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dorium posted:Ah ok I must’ve missed the under an hour bit. It’s 38 minutes. I don’t think I really specified what makes something a “short” but yeah for the purposes of the challenge under an hour is as good of a guideline as any. 38 minutes is definitely fine.
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May 31, 2022 01:37
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How would we define “folk horror”? Is pagan baby eating woods witches in a modern setting folk horror? Does it have to be religion or is fable good? Are urban legends fables? Does it gotta be outside America and old? I struggle with this one and it’s my last hurdle. I’ve watched The Wretched but I dunno if it counts (said baby eating woods witch). I’m looking at Hellbender, Errementi, and The Hallow. I’m overthinking it.
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May 31, 2022 02:01
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Humble opinions incoming:STAC Goat posted:How would we define “folk horror”? I would say folk horror is anything where the source of horror is derived from rural or folk beliefs. I think rural is really the key indicator there -- any belief that is informed by the isolation of the countryside, or by 'the old ways', would likely qualify as folk horror. STAC Goat posted:Is pagan baby eating woods witches in a modern setting folk horror? Does it have to be religion or is fable good? 'Witches living in the woods eating babies' is definitely a rural folk belief, so yeah, I would absolutely say so. Religion would be a secondary trait to me -- there are plenty of folk horror films that are areligious entirely. STAC Goat posted:Are urban legends fables? Most likely not, because they're urban rather than rural. If you were to take the concept of Candyman, however, and stick it in the countryside, you could probably make a banging folk horror movie out of it. I think the 'unknowable' nature of the forest and countryside -- where anything could be lurking beyond the trees -- is a key part of the whole thing. STAC Goat posted:Does it gotta be outside America and old? There's actually some really respectable American folk horror movies that I don't think get a lot of attention -- 2013's Jug Face comes to mind. It might rattle some purists, but something like Pet Sematary or Children of the Corn should absolutely be considered folk horror IMO.
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May 31, 2022 02:17
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Movie #20 - Hatching (2022) Another movie where people get crazy stupid cursed for being cruel to birds, but with a different sort of goop than we saw in The Lighthouse. A young girl pressured into gymnastics by her grotesque Influencer Mom finds an orphaned egg and decides to hatch it. The giant egg grows and grows as family secrets and pressure get worse and then hatches into a disgusting monster that starts out as an even uglier version of ET before the film dives deeper into the fairytale/changeling genre. A suburban folk horror/coming of age film that at times feels like a black comedy version of Black Swan. It's not jokey, but it goes so far with its absurdity at times that it actually is pretty funny. The bird monster sums that up; just totally gross, but you can't help but laugh when it's just being a big goofy bird. This is one of those movies where a bunch of reviewers criticize its themes for being too blunt followed by a dozen completely different interpretations of what its themes even are. The kind of movie that often rules. This one did. I had a great time and it's going to be a good one to rewatch. Siiri Solalinna is an excellent lead.
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May 31, 2022 04:24
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STAC Goat posted:How would we define “folk horror”? Is pagan baby eating woods witches in a modern setting folk horror? Does it have to be religion or is fable good? Are urban legends fables? Does it gotta be outside America and old? You should watch the Woodlands Dark… etc documentary, it’s excellent and it spends a lot of time talking about this. There’s no simple answer, and folk horror from England is gonna look different than folk horror from the US or from Japan or anywhere else. One major recurring theme is old vs new, which often takes the form of paganism or cults vs modern religions. But it’s not limited to that. I haven’t seen Hellbender but the other two would count for sure.
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May 31, 2022 05:04
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gey muckle mowser posted:You should watch the Woodlands Dark… etc documentary, it’s excellent and it spends a lot of time talking about this. There’s no simple answer, and folk horror from England is gonna look different than folk horror from the US or from Japan or anywhere else. One major recurring theme is old vs new, which often takes the form of paganism or cults vs modern religions. But it’s not limited to that. I haven’t seen Hellbender but the other two would count for sure. I’ve seen it. To be honest it just confused me more since it was so long winded and mentioned so many films. I got The Wretched off a list of films it mentioned. But there’s also films on that list that clearly aren’t folk horror. So I dunno. I’m basically just trying to figure out if I gotta watch an extra film. I probably will try just to be safe if I can. But I don’t want prizes so it’s cool any way. I just don’t want to cheat your challenge.
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May 31, 2022 05:08
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  2. Scream, Queen! - Watch a film by a LGBQT+ director - OR Watch a film that deals heavily with LGBQT+ themes. You will need to include these in your write-up. 17. Arrebato (1979) I decided not to use Salo as my LGBTQ+ challenge, as I was a bit uncomfortable defining it as such. I found this on a few recommendation lists, and it's very hard to find any information on the director Ivan Zulueta - an art student who designed some of Pedro Almodavar's first film posters (according to the internet Pedro dubs the voice of a female character in this film, and it's pretty obvious which character as it's comical) and addict to heroin for a time (eg, during the filming). No information on his sexuality seems to be available. This completes my challenges for the month! The film feels much more about drug addiction than any other theme, as an experimental film-maker develops a strange relationship with his camera. A homoerotic tension is built between the rural grungy/goth filmmaker and a Madrid city feature film director who is trying to navigate his life and relationship with the lead female actor in his latest film; and their relationship with drugs. It does drag at times, I have to admit I wasn't enthralled throughout, but there were definite brilliant moments that really spooked me. There's no big jump scares but at times a permeating dread, and it worked on me. There's a very cool sequence in the last twenty minutes that took 80s goth kid murder and bisexual tension to a great height featuring quite a punky music track, but it was all too fleeting. This would be a good watch if you're in the mood for a grungy mystery. 3/5 Watched: 1. Horrors of Malformed Men (challenge 1) 2. Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (challenge 3) 3. Salo: 120 Days of Sodom 4. Last House on Dead End Street (challenge 5) 5. Sometimes They Come Back (challenge 12) 6. The Curse of the Cat People (challenge 13) 7. Fireworks /8. Invocation of My Demon Brother /9. Lucifer Rising /10. Das Clown (challenge 7). 11. All the Colors of the Dark (challenge 6) 12. Trash Humpers (challenge 9) 13. Scream Blacula Scream (challenge 11) 14. The Tomb of Ligeia (challenge 10) 15. Climax (challenge 4) 16. Pulgasari (challenge 8) 17. Arrebato (challenge 2) 13/13 challenges complete!  The Hausu Usher fucked around with this message at 14:29 on May 31, 2022 |
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May 31, 2022 13:27
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12. It Stains the Sand Red (2016) ♫Cause there ain't no-one for to give you no brains♫ Shudder. A woman is pursued across the desert by a single, tireless zombie. Honestly it was great, I really enjoyed it, to the point that I hardly took any notes because I was too engrossed. I liked how the concept kept evolving, how far the movie diverged from the original concept. This was also a weakness to an extent, the ending feels a little rushed, but too much ambition is better than too little. I could have done without the rape scene, it felt kinda gratuitous. But overall it was just a satisfying movie, a fresh-feeling zombie flick. 3/5 13. House of the Devil (2009) (rewatch)  Love this poster Another rewatch, though again it's been like 10 years. A young woman takes on a babysitting job that seems too good to be true, in a lonely house out in the middle of the woods. It's difficult for me to articulate what makes this good. It's set around 1980, and goes so far as to use cameras and equipment from the era. It is, overall, a slow burn, with the middle half of the movie spent just sort of wandering around the house, killing time. But it's a very compelling nothing. There's no imminent threat Samantha sees, only unsettling clues. The camera mostly follows her perspective; the only occasions it leaves her is to show the audience something really hosed up and gnarly; it's like a pure "Don't go up there!" experience. The audience is unable to know exactly what's going on, but is shown enough to perceive the edges of the trap before it slams shut. I've watched a lot of movies this month that were way more eventful, but nowhere near as interesting; I can't justify it, other than to say it's great. Also, far more similar to Ti West's most recent movie than I previously realised. 4/5
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May 31, 2022 14:00
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I expected this to be worse than it was, but there was some actual interesting insight into the rise and fall of found footage movies. The whole arc and reasoning of "why" found footage got so popular is something I never really thought about, so this was a thinker. I liked it. 3/5 15) A Ghost Waits (2020) This was a time-killer watch while I was waiting for friends to come over or something. It wasn't great, but it wasn't terrible. The budget is next to nothing, and the acting is... not much better. But the concept is clever, and that goes a long way with me. 3.5/5 quote:
I loved this! A charming story of a wannabe fashion designer who finds a... parallel life with a 1960s wannabe lounge singer. There are fun dance numbers and fun singing numbers, so I think it fits the musical/musician challenge. And I really didn't expect the direction it went in for the last act, which got genuinely creepy. Super good. 4/5 quote:
It's been a while since I've seen a 90s "hip" horror movie, and James Bond III (who wrote, directed, produced, and starred in this movie) really delivered. As far as I could tell, the entire cast was black, and it was an interesting portrayal of the idea of a succubus in the 90s in NYC. It's cheesy, sure, but it's fun. And the final monster fight was directed by Lloyd Kaufman because, sure, why not. 3/5 18) Superhost (2021) Now THIS is a hidden gem. I think it's a Shudder exclusive? I'm not sure, it's definitely low budget, but it's such a blast. Gracie Gillam is so charming and fun in her role as the "Superhost" of a murderous AirBNB. Definitely worth checking out. 3.5/5 quote:
I wanted to like this a lot more than I did. Of the two Welsh movies I watched this challenge, this wasn't as good as The Feast. It had a clever concept and deals decently with the idea of familial trauma, but I was losing interest before the ending, which was pretty good. 3/5 quote:
gently caress, this movie was bad!! Some of the fire effect scenes were cool, but the story was so nonsensical and boring. I haven't read the original book, nor have I seen the original movie, but this was so garbage. The story jumps around and doesn't make sense, the characters are flat and badly-acted, and... it just sucks. Skip it. 1.5/5 quote:
S2) Every Night I See Them (5m) S3) The Fisherman (4m) Honestly, the first three of these were pretty forgettable. Most shorts on Youtube seem to be a short setup followed by a creepy visual followed by a cut to black. And sure, you can only do so much in 5-10 minutes, but these were all pretty lackluster. S4) Lunch Ladies (19m) Luch Ladies was the standout hit of all the shorts here. This was SO FUN. I don't want to give away too much, but I was grinning ear to ear the whole time, it was perfect. Even during the credits. 5/5 for me. S5) Ignore It (6m) Of all the short-shorts, this was the best. It set up a very creepy situation but didn't rely on edgy masks or jump scares. A spirit is haunting a family and they just have to... ignore it. It's very dread-inducing. S6) Fragile.com (20m) This was a decent little thriller with a creepy online concept, which I generally like (I love movies like Host or Unfriended). It was done really well, but nothing about it really felt better than average. The concept of an online site where people pay to watch women cry is... not so much creepy as something where I figure, yeah, that probably exists. Maybe I'm just broken from being on the internet so long. Total: 63m Challenges done: 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 Challenges left to go: 1, 13
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May 31, 2022 15:21
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5. Behind the Screams
12. All Hail the King
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As May was winding down I decided to round out my challenge with an old favorite: Lifeforce My birthday was coming up so I treated myself to the new Lifeforce UHD. Lifeforce is exactly the kind of movie you want in the best possible quality because just the fact that it exists is pretty wild. Based on his recent success with Poltergeist, Tobe Hooper was pretty much given carte blanche by Cannon films and Lifeforce is the result. It's a mish-mash of a lot of my favorite things, and I instantly fell in love with it years ago when I saw the opening scene where the astronauts board the mysterious alien spaceship. The special effects run the whole gamut from classic Spielbergian Close Encounters-type stuff to great practical zombie makeup effects that are as good if not better than any actual zombie movies. It has a totally manic Steve Railsback, gigantic man-sized bat creatures, a fun supporting role from Patrick Stewart, a stunningly beautiful naked woman, and a Van Helsing. What else can you say, the movie just has everything. Well it's been an odd challenge for me. Unlike pretty much every other horror challenge we've had here in the last decade, I struggled to find time to post and was only able to barely cross the finish line. Even so, I had some good luck with my selections and hit on some really good stuff that I know I'll be looking forward to revisiting in the future. Spookies, The Spine of Night, Eyes of Laura Mars, Prophecy, Diary of a Madman, and El Dia de la Bestia were all excellent and most of them actually came in a pretty long unbroken streak there in the middle of my challenge. I've definitely had other challenges where I watched 40 or 50 films and didn't find as many new-to-me films that I enjoyed as much as these, so I have to count this as an overall success. Thanks to everybody who posted because that's always the most fun aspect of this, and thanks to gey muckle mowser for stepping up to run it!    1. Intruder 2. Spookies 3. Subspecies 4. Megalodon Rising 5. The Spine of Night 6. Eyes of Laura Mars(Hidden Gems) 7. Prophecy 8. Diary of a Madman(The Price is Right) 9. El Dia de la Bestia 10. Blood & Flesh: The Reel Life and Ghastly Death of Al Adamson(Behind the Screams) 11. Old 12. The Sadness 13. Lifeforce Basebf555 fucked around with this message at 15:44 on May 31, 2022 |
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May 31, 2022 15:23
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17. Kwaidan Bracketology peer pressure FINALLY made me sit through this long rear end anthology. Of course, “made me” isn’t quite the word, more like I got to experience this masterpiece. Just absolutely gorgeous Japanese folk tales on insane sets. But, it is long, to the point where I was sort of checked out by the end. The first stories go by really fast, in no small part due to the fantastic set design, especially in the second story. Those painted skylines, with ominous eyes in the stars and clouds, are just a sight to behold. I’d say it’s my favourite, not only because of how breathtaking it looks, but also with how bittersweetly human the ending is. The third story drags on a lot and quite frankly could have been much shorter without sacrificing the really really good parts. By the time we reached the last one, which is short and sweet and sort of Borges-ian in it's metaness, I was quite exhausted. Still ended with a great shocker to wake me up. Overall, probably best watched in two parts, or with each story individually even. As long as you watch it, because it’s a must see. 18. Les Diaboliques To conclude the challenge, a classic, and an example of how horny twitter people can turn anything into a queer romance. A cruel boarding school headmaster’s wife and his mistress, decide to kill the jerk, with (un?)forseeable consequences. No sexual chemistry between the leads but whatever. I honestly wasn’t too into it – the mystery is intriguing but ultimately the outcome predictable (which isn’t necessary bad), it’s well acted and executed overall, but I don’t really see how it’s a classic comparable to Hitchcock’s best. And that’s it folks! I'll get some final thoughts on all of these in later, plus checking how many challenges I accidentally fulfilled. LATE EDIT: I totally forgot that I watched this for a hot second: 19. Return to Oz with what would later become everyone’s favourite goth crush, Fairuza Balk! I’m counting this as horror because there’s some truly scary stuff in there for kids – the wheelers could be from a Silent Hill game, the rock faces are spooky, the destroyed Emerald City, the gallery of heads – I was cackling with glee at a lot of the scenes. The effects are an absolute joy, top notch puppetry, stop motion, costuming. It’s not quite up there with the absolute classics of the dark children’s fantasy genre because ultimately the whole thing isn’t too engaging, but still, quite the treat! Watched total: 1.The Berlin Bride, 2. Frankenstein Created Woman, 3. No One Gets Out Alive, 4. Hellbender, 5. The Changeover, 6. Morgiana, 7. It Came from Outer Space, 8. Koko-di Koko-da, 9. World of Kanako, 10. Phantasm 2, 11. Phantasm III, 12. Vampire Doll, 13. A Cure for Wellness, 14. The Found Footage Phenomenon, 15. Final Prayer, 16. Leptirica, 17. Kwaidan, 18. Les Diaboliques, 19. Return to Oz married but discreet fucked around with this message at 18:03 on May 31, 2022 |
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May 31, 2022 15:45
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This is the kind of movie I would happily watch if it were on TV in the background while I'm visiting my family or something. It was interesting to read that A&C didn't like doing this at all, and actually didn't show up for shooting sometimes. Then it went on to be a big hit. And... Frankenstein is barely in the movie? It should have been titled "Meet Dracula and also the Wolfman". It was fine, I didn't hate it. I doubt I'll go searching for the others in the series though. 3/5 Challenges done: 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13 Challenges left to go: 1
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May 31, 2022 17:35
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Decided not to watch any more past my 13, because Stranger Things 4 dropped. Summary: 1) Viy 2) Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness 3) The Abominable Snowman 4) Anna and the Apocalypse 5) Boris Karloff: The Man Behind The Monster 6) The Strange Colour of Your Body's Tears 7) The Backrooms and Elevated 8) Blue My Mind 9) Castle Freak 10) The Bat 11) Candyman (2021) 12) Room 237 13) A Page of Madness I did the 13 challenges in order, so all movies also fill the challenge of the same number. Jedit fucked around with this message at 18:19 on May 31, 2022 |
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May 31, 2022 18:10
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Movie 17: A Chinese Ghost Story (1987) The power of Heaven and Earth is limitless! Oh no, my powers of Heaven and Earth ran out! A Chinese Ghost Story is a fantastic romantic horror comedy, which I randomly saw on Finnish TV as a young man and finally remembered to track down again now in adulthood. I'm glad to see it still holds up very well. At the center of the story is a hapless tax collector who is the Superman of having bad luck. Everything that can go wrong, does, until he finds himself sheltering from the rain in an abandoned temple. A taoist monk warns him that within the temple lies great evil, but the man doesn't believe the warning and soon everyone is up to their ears in ghosts, zombies and other monsters. This would be bad enough, but our tax collector has also fallen in love with one of the ghosts, an innocent young woman who is being forced to lure men to their deaths to feed her evil mistress. The movie is a really fun mixture of goofy comedy, genuinely touching romantic drama, and plenty of over the top wuxia action as the hapless goon and his old monk friend battle the forces of hell. It also features a lot of really cool practical effects and stop motion creatures. I'm not well enough versed in Chinese mythology to know how true to the origins the stuff is, but in any case it's refreshingly different from normal ghost and monster stuff. And who can't get into huge walls of skulls and soup bowls full of decapitated heads in a haunted inn? Reading up on the movie now, apparently it enjoys a cult status in Hong Kong, Japan and other parts of Asia, and I can totally understand why. It's just a uniquely goofy, charming and fun, and occasionally also really beautiful and quite touching movie. What a weird combination! My only gripe is that the subtitles on the Blu-ray version I bought were really crap and left about 30% of the movie just randomly untranslated, which would've meant missing a bunch of jokes and context clues if I didn't remember them from the Finnish subtitles from back in the day. /5My May 2022 Movies: 1. Saturday Morning Mystery, 2. Ghostbusters Afterlife (Rated PG), 3. Superstition, 4. Vampyr (Hidden Gems), 5. The People Under the Stairs (Horror Noire), 6. Rock & Roll Nightmare (Music of the Night), 7. Nosferatu (Sins of the Past), 8. Shadow of the Vampire (Behind the Screams), 9. Witchfinder General (The Price is Right), 10. Shorts (Short Cuts), 11. Creepshow (Hail to the King), 12. The Queen of Black Magic (Perfect Getaway), 13. Child's Play (Scream, Queen), 14. The Ritual (Woodlands Dark and Days Bewitched), 15. Knife+Heart (The King in Yellow), 16. Army of Darkness, 17. A Chinese Ghost Story Movies watched: 17/15 Challenges completed: 13/13 Shaman Tank Spec fucked around with this message at 18:29 on May 31, 2022 |
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May 31, 2022 18:25
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 #26. Stepfather 2 (Freevee) After escaping from a mental institution, the Stepfather goes back to his old ways and inserts himself into a new suburban family. I watched the original The Stepfather for last year's October Challenge, so I figured the sequel would be good fodder for the May one. This feels like a solid step backwards from that first movie, though, which is odd because there's better actors on hand to assist here than before. (We have Caroline Williams, Meg Foster and Jonathan Brandis on hand, all better than the non-entities from the original.) However, none of them have anything to do in the script, as they all kind of just mill around waiting for returning baddie Terry O'Quinn to act out of character to react to. That's the real problem here, though: unlike in the original, there's no scenes of O'Quinn's Stepfather character slipping away to start a new life, including remaking himself and setting up new lines of credit, etc. Without that element, you're left with scenes of waiting for O'Quinn's lies to catch up with him, which mainly boils down to people catching on that it's odd that anyone would want to willingly whistle "Camptown Races" in this day and age (almost 35 years ago). This thing is flat, dull and mostly inert. I was losing interest in it well before the theoretical psycho-thriller interest of watching O'Quinn insert himself into people's lives and reshape his persona based on what he thought his new victim wanted, and the sporadic violent murder scenes don't do enough to enliven what's going on around it. Not recommended.  /5Watched so far: Night of the Living Dead (1968), Escape Room (2019), The Company of Wolves (GMM Challenge 9), Shutter (2008) (GMM Challenge 3), bunch o' shorts (GMM Challenge 7), Black Sunday (1960), The Hallow (GMM Challenge 1), Dr. Strange 2, Madhouse (1974) (GMM Challenge 10), Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1941) (GMM Challenge 13), Memory: The Origins of Alien (GMM Challenge 5), Trollhunter (GMM Challenge 8), Friday the 13th Part 2 (SBLT Challenge), The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane, Firestarter (2022) (GMM Challenge 12), Happy Death Day 2U (GMM Challenge 2), The Editor (GMM Challenge 6), Anna and the Apocalypse (GMM Challenge 4), Bones (GMM Challenge 11), Men (2022), Intruder (1989), My Heart Can't Beat Unless You Tell It To, Hellboy: Sword of Storms, They Live, Slaughterhouse (1987), Stepfather 2
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May 31, 2022 18:43
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 [s10] Karaoke Night Portugal, 8m A sleazy tourist in a karaoke bar on the Azores gropes a singer, only to become a victim himself. Shame that the main premise is a comedic rear end-rape, as there is some fun over-the-top gore and a prosthetic penis puppet monster. Song is a banger too.  [s11] Twinky Doo’s Magic World Italy, 12m After a botched robbery a bunch of bankrobbers end up in an abandoned factory of 80s snack Twinky Doo. Somewhat inspired by Five Nights at Freddy's, this is very well made but it didn’t really grab me.   [6] Das schaurige Haus (The Scary House) Austria, 2020  3. Rated PGA teenager, his mom and little brother move from Germany to a remote Austrian village where they find out that their new house comes with a dark past and is supposedly haunted. Netflix billed this as similar to Stranger Things, however while that show has plenty of interests for viewers of all ages, this movie is squarely aimed at a younger audience. There is nothing here that hasn’t been done before but it is all perfectly well-made and successful in what in aims to be.   [7] Red Dot Sweden, 2021 Survival thriller about a couple who go hiking in snowy northern Sweden only to be hunted by someone. I did not care for this at all, pretty predictable until a very dumb twist, and overtly mean.    [8] A Classic Horror Story Italy, 2021 What has happened to Italian horror? Bava, Argento, Fulci, Giallo, for decades Italian horror was very prominent but in the 90s that just sorta stopped. Seriously, try to think of a worthwhile Italian horror movie release since Cemetery Man in 1994. Even in recent years when there really has been an upsurge in quality horror from around Europe, nothing in Italy. So looking for a movie for my challenge seemed pretty dire, until this popped up on Netflix. Turns out that it is probably one of the best Netflix original horror movies there is! I really don’t want to talk too much about the plot since there are several fun twists and turns and its best to go in blind. Just a clever, well-made and very entertaining movie. Hopefully, this movie can be the start of some sort of Italian horror Renaissance.
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May 31, 2022 18:44
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 22.) Dawn of the Dead George A. Romero | 1978 | UHD Rewatch My personal favorite of Romero’s Dead series, and one of my favorite films of all time. I think what makes it stand out for me is both the setting and the relationship between the protagonists and how that grows over the course of the film. Just drat good. Rating:  23.) Office Killer Cindy Sherman | 1997 | Digital rental I’ve got to say, this really didn’t do much for me. I don’t know what it is, everything seemed good but it just left me cold I guess, but that just might be a me thing. It was fun to see Carol Kane in a non-Kimmy Schmidt role though. Rating: ½  24.) Parents Bob Balaban | 1989 | Tubi For a black comedy, this movie really isn’t that funny. This isn’t a complaint though, because this is probably one of the most unsettling films I’ve ever seen. Randy Quaid is fantastic as the father, and makes him a very frightening figure. The film also looks great visually. Someone in the MOTM thread said that it has a “movie movie look” to it and I have to agree. This might sound kinda dumb (because it probably is) but I kinda wish that the movie left it up to the viewer whether or not the parents were cannibals but I still really enjoyed the movie. Rating: I think I’m going to call it here. I was going to try and see one more film for the challenge because it’s leaving Shudder, but I’ve got an early day tomorrow and I want to catch up to Best of the Super Jrs. I’ve met my goal and finished all the challenges, so I think this is a good place to stop. Final Total: 24/13 New: 22 Rewatches: 2 Challenges: 1. Woodlands Dark and Days Bewitched (Men), 2. Scream, Queen! (The Lost Boys), 3. Rated PG (Saturday the 14th ), 4. Music of the Night (Green Room), 5. Behind the Screams (Birth of the Living Dead), 6. The King in Yellow (The Bird with the Crystal Plumage), X. SECRET BONUS LIMITED TIME CHALLENGE (Friday the 13th Part 2), 8. A Perfect Getaway (Troll Hunter), 9. Hidden Gems (Night of the Creeps), 10. The Price is Right (Dead Heat), 11. Horror Noire (Tales from the Hood), 12. All Hail the King (Firestarter (2022)), 13. Sins of the Past (White Zombie) My Letterboxd list (complete!)
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May 31, 2022 19:17
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Fell off the posting train. Catching up, with one more to finish tonight: 24&25. Feast (2005) & Feast II (2008) - A love letter to the genre. Never got around to the third one this time around. 4/5, 3.5/5 26.The Midnight Swim (2014) Very well shot POV film with a consistent sense of creeping dread. 4.5/5 27. A Ghost Waits (2020) Tense drama between a handyman fixing up a house and the ghost who's responsible for driving people away. Maybe a bit much on explaining the inner workings of the ghost bureaucracy, but they set up the questions, so I suppose they have to answer them. 4.5/5 28. Popcorn (1991) Decent enough latter days slasher. 3.5/5 29. Motherly (2021) This somehow ended up on my watchlist. That was a mistake. 2.5/5 30. Raw (2016) Tense decent into cannibalism. 4/5 31. Savage Weekend (1979) - From the bowels of Prime. 1.5/5 32. Don’t Look in the Basement (1973) - From the basement of Prime. 2/5 33. The Deep House (2021) - From the depths of Prime. The "found footage, but underwater" is at least visually interesting, but even by horror movie standards, the protagonists are absolute morons. 2.5/5 34. American Exorcist (2018) - Prime trash in a skyscraper, with another moron getting exactly what she deserves. 2/5 35. The Found Footage Phenomenon (2021) - Great, critical documentary, with a solid look back at the subgenre's predecessors. (I hadn't really thought of the POV scenes in Peeping Tom in this way, but they are expressly footage taken by the antagonist's camera.) Also good coverage of the genre's boom and modern day. 4/5 36. Umma (2022) - Perfectly fine spook fest. 3/5 37. Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000) - Worse than I remember it being, better than its rep. Aggressively bizarre, high(er) budget rework of the original, while acknowledging that the original is fake. 3/5 38. The Happiness of the Katakuris (2001)  4. Music of the Night - I may have gotten overhyped for this one. The song & dance numbers are good, but the plot is all over the place and it fizzles at the end. 3/5
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May 31, 2022 19:20
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Purno posted:
Io non ho paura is a pretty good horror adjacent at the very least. But yeah, dire overall. Very interested in that movie, thanks for pointing it out.
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May 31, 2022 19:27
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 55 (74). Headspace (2005) Directed by Andrew van den Houten; Screenplay by Steve Klausner and William M. Miller; Story by Troy McCombs Return of the Fallen: 14/14 - Lucky McKee and Friends More than anything I feel like I have to watch that over again. That being said all the reviews seem to agree that the narrative and explanation is fuzzy at best and intentionally blurred and confusing. You can make out the pieces of the puzzle, you just don’t really know what the picture on the box is supposed to look like. Its like one part demonic possession or witchy killer thing or something and one part old school Scanners/Firestarter type psychological brain thing? I dunno. Its all very strange and vague. I have a pretty good idea who the chess player island I have a pretty good idea who the end person is. And I have a pretty good idea of what our main guy’s journey is. But I have no idea what this has to do with his mother or how the parts fit together. It feels like the family trauma backstory is kind of half cooked and never fully laid out for us in a way we can put it together. Like some other viewers I’m not entirely sure its necessary and the whole thing probably would have been a little cleaner without it. At the same time I feel like it could have had like 10 additional minutes and things would have made more sense too. I dunno. Something’s off about this recipe but it could be a number of things. Its a low budget, first film from Andrew van den Houten who has largely produced films, not directed them. Larry Fessenden and Pollyanna McIntosh are in this and he’s associated with Lucky McKee so he seems less of some sort of big wig Hollywood producer type and more of part of this New York crew fo filmmakers who seem to help each other out. He’s only made one other film in the 17 years since, Offspring which was ok but didn’t seem special in any way. I’m not sure I’d say different about this. Its solid enough for what it is and it has a strong crew and B star cast of folks you know and love. I think that probably goes back to the big collective crew of filmmakers who help each other out. But there doesn’t feel like there’s a deeper spark here in the directing. In fact the directing feels like one of the flaws as I’m just not sure how the pieces fit and the film lacked a certain tension. Its not a bad film, really. But its not a great one either. Or really even one you need to check out. Its a great cast and there’s enough gore, sex, and weird psychological trippiness here to entertain if you really want to or it sounds like something you’d like. But its not really anything special and it left me feeling unsatisfied and a bit confused. And not in a good way.  56 (75). The Wretched (2019) Written and directed by The Pierce Brothers Watched on Hulu Spook-A-Doodle Challenges: 14/14 gey muckle mowser posted:
A solid film. I wasn’t entirely sure if this qualified as “folk horror” because the definition seems rather vague and varied. Most films that get labeled folk horror tend to be period pieces or feature communities that seem from another time. But its also like religious or ideas or fables of another time. And paganism and witchcraft of that other time and beliefs? I was back and forth on this considering its set in a very modern american place but if you ask me I think that’s ok. Like its still something very old that’s still there in this modern world that doesn’t consider it real or isn’t prepared to handle it. And that seems like folk horror to me? The story itself isn’t anything especially different although its exact combination of elements feels a bit unique. Its kind of your typical story of a kid who knows something is up with his neighbor and no one will listen to him. In this case that thing isn’t a regular old killer or even a vampire, its a creepy kid eating witch. That’s fun and cool and icky. I think the film does a great job with that stuff even if I imagine some fans would feel like it doesn’t go hard enough. It goes pretty hard. There’s dead kids and lots of goop. But its also a mainstream film so its not all grim and completely hopeless. I’m happy with that. I’m not wired that way. So don’t watch if you’re likely to complain if a film doesn’t go as nihilistic as possible and take every bad option it has. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t take some bad options. Its there and its there enough to leave you wondering how all of this will work out. Piper Curda was fun and I thought Zarah Mahler was great as the cool but unfortunate mom to pick the wrong day to go into the woods. Kevin Bigley is also fun as her goofy husband. I’m familiar with up from Upload and while he doesn’t get a ton of screen time he’s kind of very amusing in a casual way put against the growing creepiness of his wife. “Mom is acting weird, Dad.” “You should have seen her at Burning Man.” Ah, useless dads. A horror staple. The rest of the cast are mostly there and the main guy is fine. The film is really rather crisp and doesn’t waste a ton of time. I think that largely works. Some stuff like Azie Tesfai’s character might have been kind of underdeveloped for where the character went. Maybe that could have been expanded on. But its a film that I think works in its quick, to the point nature. Padding it out might have just exposed some of the flaws and tropes or something. As it is I think it all went fine. So yeah, I wouldn’t say its a great film. It was missing a little punch for that. But there’s some great creepy witch stuff in here and an overall easy tone. That easy summer kid adventure tone might have been at odds with the creepy witch thing. I think it was probably meant to be juxtaposition but I think the tone and tension never fully ramp up as a result. But that’s also probably deliberate to make it a more commercially accessible film. And I don’t mind that at all. I’m no gore hound or whatever. Its just a solid little horror no heavier than what I can handle right now.  57 (76). Night of the Living Dead: Reanimated (2009) Directed by Mike Schneider Watched on Tubitv Knockoffs of the 13 Dead: 12/13 To be honest probably a better art project than a film. I might not be the best judge of that however seeing as how I’ve watched some version of this film 10 times this month already. So I might be all Night of the Living Deaded out. I’ve always said I’d stop and watch it any time but I definitely pushed that to its limits with this challenge. So like going back over the same dialogue and beats once again was a bit much here. if I had just seen this at some random time after it had been awhile it probably would have been a much easier watch. Which isn’t to say its a bad watch. But I don’t think it really works as a narrative on its own. The art is all a little too wildly divergent and cut quickly that its hard to really get any stable sense. And the art varies so much in quality and style that like I can’t imagine watching this if you weren’t overly familiar with the original classic. As someone who obviously is its definitely interesting to see the different interpretations and filters. Not all are created equal and some are clearly more of a still image or two of ideas while some are kind of just a filter thrown on the movie. I definitely would like to see a bit more of something like that lego version or the muppet one or the dog and cat cartoon. I’m curious if any of those are out there. But at the same time this is probably a deal where a lot of them benefited more from quick glimpses where the whole thing would wear thing. I’m not really sure I want to watch a claymation or Barbie version. Not a 90 minute version. But still it did feel like there were a few ideas that probably would make for solid shorts in their own right. But I dunno. I didn’t love the way it was all edited together. I don’t know if that’s fair. Its a massive undertaking and I don’t have a clear idea of how to do it better. There’s stuff that stands out like out of sync audio or excessive zooming but some of that can just be original art and overall it seems like there’s a clear effort to showcase everyone’s art one way or another. And again, that’s where it seems like a better art project than a film. Its a very unique and cool idea and I definitely prefer this kind of usage of the public domain status of the original to just those cheap knockoffs. Not all experiments are home runs but that doesn’t make them without merit. There’s lots of merit here and stuff I’d like to see more of. And in general even if I probably watched too many of these this month I think this was a nice place to finish up. 58 (77). Short Cuts of the Living Dead (Night of the Living Carrots (2011)/Paris by Night of the Living Dead (2009)/Night of the Living Bread (1990)/Night of the Living Doo (2001)/[Dawn of the Deaf (2016)) Knockoffs of the 13 Dead: 13/13 https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL9W7vN-bDwRDCRKa7n4w4oPAnax5cIlJT This is maybe cheating? But its cheating with my own challenge. I already did a Short Cuts for the GMM challenge but I really wanted to watch some of these shorts more than I wanted to watch another NotLD knockoff. That’s my burden I took on but its also my challenge so I only have to answer to myself. And I love these little DIY anthologies. So I mean worst case deduct a movie from my overall number. But this was my preferred path.  Night of the Living Carrots (2011) Directed by Robert Porter A solidly silly little follow up to Monsters vs Aliens. I guess there was actually a short between these two that this is a direction continuation of? Whoopsie. Still its not exactly a hard idea to follow or anything. No Susie or Insectosaur was sad but I guess they probably would have complicated (or simplified) the issue. And I guess they only got Seth Rogen back? Or he was the guy behind this? But that’s ok since its his guy’s thing anyway. I mean its nothing special but its a fun light little thing that will probably make an enjoyable rewatch at Halloween with the other short. The original film didn’t blow me away so I don’t know if it needed a bunch of follow up shorts, but its also fun and light enough that I don’t mind at all. And parodying Night of the Living Dead (so much as it does) is certainly a good and logical next place for this sendup of 50s sci fi and horror. And actually the carrots thing felt a bit like a back door reference to The Thing From Outer Space. Although maybe I’m reaching for that. Sometimes a carrot is just a carrot.  Paris by Night of the Living Dead (2009) Directed by Grégory Morin Basically just a big shoot it up action short with a bit of dark comedy. Fun for what it is. Some people would probably consider it the cut to the chase heart of what they want to see out of a zombie film. It in part feels like a direct response to criticism of the Walking Dead. A touch of human melodrama treated with no reverence at all and just a lot of big goofy gun fight and chainsaws and gags. Its not bad. Obviously its not super high budget and some of the big gore and stuff it goes for looks a little silly but its all in good fun. For the most part its pretty smooth. Despite it being a tiny role I actually enjoyed Karina Testa. She manages to instill a bit of humanity into the giant cartoon and looks like an effective action badass. I see she (and her co-star) were in Frontiere(s) which I’ve always kind of meant to check out but never did because it sounded a little too rough for me. If the month was longer I’d probably add it to the list now but down the line maybe. I’m not sure its something that leaves you wanting more. Or at least didn’t leave me wanting more. But its just a pulled out little version of like the action in Dead Alive or Cemetery Man or something. All with a little bit of a story. Not half bad. And I watched it without subtitles and don’t think I missed a thing even though I don’t speak a word for french.  Night of the Living Bread (1990) Directed by Kevin S. O’Brien To be honest, of all of the silly knockoffs I’ve seen this month this might be the best of them. Its a very dumb idea but its just played straight for its absurdity with a bunch of little gags like toasters and the silly priest who though unleavened bread would protect his parish. Its quick, simple, and gets everything done. I think if I had watched this any random time I would have gotten some laughs from it but having watched it after a string of remakes and parodies and the same night as I watched the Reanimated version I just ended up really appreciating its brevity and wit. Its not gonna wow you or make any kind of surprises. Its stupid as hell. But its fun and harmless and over before the joke wears out. Can’t ask for much more.  Night of the Living Doo (2001) Directed by Casper Kelly and Jeffrey G. Olsen Its Scooby Doo so its amusing. Specifically its that kind of modern Adult Swim Scooby Doo that is very self aware and meta. That can have limits but this is pretty funny and harmless. David Cross adds a little comedy spark even though he plays the straight man. Gary Coleman pokes fun at Scooby Doo and grows tired of poking fun at himself. Big Bad Voodoo Daddy remind me they exist. There’s a surprise cameo. The Scooby gang run around a scary place and seem vaguely clueless and a little horny and the mystery makes no sense. Its basically what I expect. I’ve never been a huge Scooby Doo fan so I don’t have any particular love for these sends, but I grew up with it like anyone so there’s plenty of nostalgia and charm buried somewhere. I still haven’t watched one of their movies and I’m not really sure I want to but this is the perfect length to get in and out before the familiar routine runs thin and the jokes get too dumb.  Dawn of the Deaf (2016) Directed by Rob Savage Wow, hey. That was unexpected. About as far from a parody or knockoff as we can get. An actually really serious and well done proof of concept for a zombie film starring deaf/ASL characters and dealing head on with bigotry, bullying, homophobia, and sexual abuse. It packs a whole lot of story and character into this and sadly ends right as stuff really kicks off and I was ready for a whole movie. Rob Savage and Jed Shepard’s first “feature” was 2020’s Host which I really enjoyed and they’ve got a ton of shorts I now have on my watchlist. I definitely want to see more from these guys after this and am very happy to see that there’s a feature film version of this listed on Letterboxd. I hope that’s for real. Very interested to see more from either of these guys and also very impressed with the cast of this. I think I added a dozen new things to my watchlist from this which seems like the mark of a very successful short. A lot of people impressed me, make me want to check out their other work, and really leaves me wanting to see a film made out of this idea. A huge surprise after a month of silly gags and cheap knockoffs. A truly original and good idea executed very well. And with that I have all my challenges finished except Frankenstein. If I can get a couple of films (or one film and some cheating shorts) in tonight I’ll actually pull this off. And then I'll never learn my lesson. STAC Goat fucked around with this message at 20:12 on May 31, 2022 |
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May 31, 2022 20:07
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Coming into this, I thought it was going to have some of the lightheartedness of The Wicker Man, since they both sort of go hand in hand when it comes to starting the folk horror movement. But this is a much bleaker, much more serious film. And I think it really works for that. Vincent Price does a wonderful job playing a gross, gross witchfinder, and there's nothing campy about the acts whatsoever. It's brutal. Really impressed by this one. 4/5 ALL CHALLENGES COMPLETE  Thanks GMM for running this challenge, it's been fun 
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May 31, 2022 20:43
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 #27. Village of the Damned (1995) (Peacock) A group of children - all born on the same day in a sleepy town after all of the residents had a mass blackout - begin exhibiting strange psychic powers... and a total lack of regard for human life. A gun-for-hire job for John Carpenter in the middle of his fallow 1990s period, this remake of the 1960s Village of the Damned is... not bad, all things considered. It's not all that good, either, and is a pretty solid step down from Carpenter's best works, but "not bad" Carpenter is still solidly entertaining. The cast of adults - mostly solid character actors or Carpenter mainstays - is mostly game, though few have any solid character arcs to work with; the cast of kids are fairly wooden and terrible, so it doesn't really balance out. The music is acceptable, though not quite up to Carpenter's usual standards; the cinematography is pretty good, though fairly unassuming. However, Carpenter is not well matched to a reliance on early 90s CGI, so any time the kids bust out their evil red eye powers I end up rolling my eyes. What I find most interesting is that this has the opposite problem from They Live - a lot of the beginning and middle of this movie is underwhelming, but the ending, when the evil kids get let off the hook and get to start causing mayhem, is a lot more interesting. There's some solid action beats around a whole mess of soldiers and cops being forced to turn their guns on each other[/b], though you can also see the limits of the budget raising its head here. The ending climax, centered around [spoiler]a satchel with an olde-timey alarm clock pile of dynamite, straight out of a "Looney Tunes" bit is decently tense, but relies on Christopher Reeve's "pain mugging" to depict him fighting off a psychic child attack, so you can tell that it sits on flimsy ground. I dunno - this isn't all that good, but I liked it slightly better than some of the similarly weak and flawed films that I have seen recently. I'm giving it a middling score, based largely on my fondness for some of the cast and John Carpenter in general, but on its own merits, this remake doesn't really deserve it. /5Watched so far: Night of the Living Dead (1968), Escape Room (2019), The Company of Wolves (GMM Challenge 9), Shutter (2008) (GMM Challenge 3), bunch o' shorts (GMM Challenge 7), Black Sunday (1960), The Hallow (GMM Challenge 1), Dr. Strange 2, Madhouse (1974) (GMM Challenge 10), Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1941) (GMM Challenge 13), Memory: The Origins of Alien (GMM Challenge 5), Trollhunter (GMM Challenge 8), Friday the 13th Part 2 (SBLT Challenge), The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane, Firestarter (2022) (GMM Challenge 12), Happy Death Day 2U (GMM Challenge 2), The Editor (GMM Challenge 6), Anna and the Apocalypse (GMM Challenge 4), Bones (GMM Challenge 11), Men (2022), Intruder (1989), My Heart Can't Beat Unless You Tell It To, Hellboy: Sword of Storms, They Live, Slaughterhouse (1987), Stepfather 2, Village of the Damned (1995)
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May 31, 2022 21:10
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Witch double feature: 12. Witchhammer (1970)   . A Perfect GetawayIt is the 1670s in northern Moravia, in what is now the Czech Republic, an old woman steals a communion wafer intending to use it restore the health of a cow that has stopped milking. This sparks a series of witch trials that ends up engulfing the entire village. Priest Krystof Lautner attempts to intervene only to find himself the target of the cruel and self serving inquisitor Boblig von Edelstad I was surprised to find that I had never actually seen a film from Czechia or Slovakia or even Czechoslovakia, atl east according to a few lists of Czech and/or Slovak films I found on Letterboxd. I've actually seen some Jan Svankmajer shorts but nothing feature length. One of the central thesis of this film is the role of sexual repression in the witch hunts. One of the very first scenes is of naked women bathing, eating, and laughing in a bathhouse intercut with a gnarly monk with abysmal dental hygiene talking about how women's innate Satanic horniness is the root of all evil (this monk appears throughout the film always in cutaway closeup talking about various increasingly wacky witch myths). There's also a long scene round the mid point of the film where the evil inquisitor Boblig plots with his lackey and talks about how he wants to see Zuzana, Lautner's maid, naked and how accusing her of witchcraft would allow that. While this conversation is ongoing the henchman is eagerly massaging various parts of Boblgi's body. Even more representative of this is one scene where, after burning some people alive, the toffs have a feast and Boblig regales them with a bawdy story about a penis stealing witch to roaring laughter from the grody 17th century clerics and noblemen. Aside from all the sexual repression and misogyny the film also features a pretty heavy class struggle angle. In one of the first scenes of the film we see a group of old and disabled people in rags begging outside the church which contrasts heavily with the number of opulent aristocratic feasts featured throughout the film. One interesting thing is that when we first see inquisitor Boblig he's a shabbily dressed innkeeper serving another character wine but as the film progresses he becomes increasingly foppish and well dressed constantly chugging wine and living in complete luxury with all the money he's confiscated from rich suspects. He also drinks his wine with added hot water, I'm not sure if that's some sort of indication that he's an uncultured boor because I'm not much of a wine guy but I suspect so. Boblig seems to have a deep seeded hatred for anyone who thinks they are better than him like Lautner with his book learning or the rich townsmen who surely obtained those riches through witchcraft. Lautner, who is the main character of the film, feels at times almost too noble and modern in his mission to stand against Boblig's burning crusade of course near the end we learn that his reasons or harboring his maid Zuzana despite the fact that clergymen are not supposed to have young female servant is not entirely out of the goodness of his heart but because she was at one time is mistress and sometimes Boblgi feels a bit too petty and cruel and transparently only doing all of this for his own personal gain. Which feels a bit arch but a brief google tells me all of this is rooted in actual history. We don't see as much gruesome torture and mutilation as I was expecting, don't me wrong there's plenty of it but most often it focuses largely on the reaction of the victim than the actual implements of torment. The most horrifying thing is the testimonies of the accused after torture where they robotically recite whatever accusations and stories of blasphemous debaucher that their captors have told them to. All with the exact same broken 1000 yard stare. The film ends, as many films based on true stories do, with a title card telling us what happened next. In this case it's particularly grim and cynical as it informs us that inquisitor Boblig not only got away with all of his evil deeds without any sort of punishment but he lived happily to a ripe old age in great wealth, privilege and power. 13.The Coming (1981) AKA Burned at the Stake  During a school trip to a Witchcraft Museum in Salem young Loreen somehow becomes possessed with the spirit of Ann Putnam, the girl who falsely accused many others during the famous witch trials. However things are complicated further when a wax statue of a relative one of the alleged witches, and victim's of Ann's lies, comes to life and seeks revenge on Loreen/Ann. The period parts of this feel like one of those educational videos you'd see when the history teacher is too hungover to teach so he rolls in one of these bad boys  The modern parts lean a bit more into straight to VHS schlock. At times it feels like an off-brand witch themed The Exorcist with a touch of The Omen. I don't understand how anyone could think The Coming was a good title for a film. Yes no witches were actually burned at Salem (burning witches was a continental thing and the Puritans being good Brits just hung them) but Burned at the Stake is a thousand times better title than the vague The Coming. They screwed the pooch with the opening scene where old man Giles Corey is being tortured by stones being piled on him. In the film his torturer keeps saying "more weight" until Giles confesses and then more weight is added causing Giles to be crushed to a somewhat bloody pulp. In actuality, from what I have heard, the real Giles Corey did not only not confess even during this torture but he was the one saying "more weight" until he died so he could make sure his family could receive an inheritance after him because confessing would've meant all his property would be confiscated. So they took a genuinely 'badass' moment from history and turned into a fairly generic dude being tortured scene. I don't have nearly as much to say about this as Witchhammer simply because there isn't as much there. It's technically speaking a more complicated film from a plot standpoint but somehow feels a lot simpler. It's also a shorter film but feels quite a bit longer. It's still has some good eerie moments if you can get over the schlock.
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Jun 1, 2022 00:44
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Only watched a small fraction of my intended crop but still managed to hit 13 (just barely) 1. Penda's Fen (1974)  2. Of Unknown Origin (1983)  3. Censor (2021)  4. Short Cuts BEASTS: Baby  & There Comes a Knocking  5. One Dark Night (1982)  6. Doctor Jekyll & Sister Hyde (1971)  7. The Northman (2022)  8. Dead Heat (1988)  9. Mausoleum (1983)  10. Dead of Night (1945)  11. The Bird With the Crystal Plumage (1970) 12. Witchhammer (1970) 13. The Coming (1981) AKA Burned at the Stake Challenges Completed: 1. Woodlands Dark and Days Bewitched  2.  Hidden Gems 3. Short Cuts 4. Rated PG 5. Scream Queen!6.  The Price is Right7.  Sins of the Past8. The King in Yellow9. . A Perfect Getaway Rated PG challengeBest films: Penda's Fen Dead of Night Bird with the Crystal Plumage Northman Of Unknown Origin Middleground: Witchhammer BEASTS: Baby Doctor Jekyll and Sister Hyde Censor One Dark Night Lowpoints: Dead Heat The Coming Mausoleum There Come's a Knocking (that being said I enjoyed every single film in some way)
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Jun 1, 2022 01:07
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18.Challenge 7: Short Cuts I got some of these from y'all and found others on my own. 1. The End of All Things (14:23) I couldn't focus on this one, but it's my own problem. It's an enigmatic witch story that might have done a few interesting things (apparently it's based on a book), but I have always had this hyper-specific misophonia for the sound of knives and teeth scraping on hard toast. It makes my skin crawl. It turns out this composes 70% of the noises here, and I wanted to tear my headphones off. I finished it but I'll be damned if I can tell you any specific details. 2.5/5 2. Peephole (3:43) There are a dragon's hoard of these exact types of shorts on YouTube, and as far as I can go they're the modern way to put a flashlight under your chin and scare your friends at a sleepover. They're bloodless so your parents won't complain, they're short enough for terrible attention spans, and they always end with the exact same screaming-face jumpscare. This one gets a few bonus points for having the protagonist have fun with the admittedly silly monster for a few moments, which is exactly what any sane person would do with a something that mirrors your movements. 1.5/5 3. Mr. Creak (3:35) I got this one and the last one off of the same recommendation list, and promptly abandoned it. I can appreciate a short that doesn't bother with a setup and cold opens directly into the climax, but I think this one was forced to by the fact that there is no conceivable explanation for why this woman would be in a completely dark house reading fortune cookie notes out of a dollhouse. The same jumpscare awaits her from the last short. I feel a bit uncomfortable saying these are bad and giving them low scores because they're so very clearly not designed for my demographic. I don't want to watch Peppa Pig either, but I'd sound insane if I docked it for not making episodes that I enjoy. 1/5 4. The World Over (15:33) There's a moment very early on where the characters find a keyhole that isn't seemingly connected to any door. They turn the key and nothing seems to happen. I got kinda excited, the possibilities were endless! Then they immediately revealed what the key did. That's really the primary issue with a lot of short horror films, they're written too densely to allow mysteries to breathe. Anyways this is basically the short youtube film version of Coherence, and if you're like me it'll just make you want to watch the feature length one. It's not terrible though, best so far. 3/5 5. Other Side of the Box (15:22) A couple receives a box from an estranged friend, along with some rules. Spooky things happen. This one is actually a well-done slow burn, with a script that knows how to properly drip-feed new information. The rules that the monster has to follow are simple, and despite this the characters manage to find themselves in peril without ever making insanely bad decisions. It's nice to see them get actually outsmarted or tricked, rather than manufacturing peril through lack of higher brain function. Finally, no dumb jumpscare! A YouTube horror triumph, really. 4/5 6. They Hear It (8:37) Where the hell are their parents? It's a bigger mystery than the actual mystery. Two children are in their house in the woods at night. They are the correct ages to at least have a babysitter, but there are no adults around and this is never remarked upon or explained. Quiet, high-pitched noises start happening in the woods which first draws the family dog and then the younger brother. Bushes rattle, faces emerge. I'll give this credit for lighting: a lot of youtube shorts are so dark that I can't see the screen unless I turn all the lights off, but this one is clearly visible even in the pitch-black woods. The filmmakers claim they're turning this one into a feature-length, but I don't see why. (2/5) Total runtime: 1:01:13 Samfucius fucked around with this message at 07:11 on Jun 1, 2022 |
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Jun 1, 2022 01:35
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83 Vamp was pretty good. Acting left some to be desired, but it was a lot of fun and this very forward thinking zombie movie with its strip club full of vamps and luring in customers that'll just kind of go unnoticed. Loved the lighting and set design as well, totally worked with the comic book mood of the movie and the ending was pitch perfect. A real low budget dirty vampire movie that is surprisingly full of heart and spirit. A good time.   Out of 584  There's like a handful of moments in Ghost Ship that got it its two stars, but otherwise what a very dull and boring movie. The ending freakout portion was pretty good and this bit in the shower where it fills with blood was cool, but otherwise just a monumentally forgettable nazi ghost story. I expected a bit more maximum overdrive stuff when I finally got what was going on in this movie. It could've been a lot of fun, but I dunno maybe it was the budget or just having to shoot on a rickety ship like this just wasnt conducive to a productive environment. Not sure, but it def left a lot to be desired. A handful of enjoyable things, but a mostly boring movie. Out of 585  Definitely not the worst documentary I've watched this month, but it kinda just treads over a lot of the facts of Found Footage movies that if you know what's up, you already know. It's a good overview for beginners though and paints a fairly clear picture that the Found Footage genre is just going to be evergreen as long as the technology is there and progresses as well as there just being this innate human need to voyeuristically deal with the horrors of life through the lens of a camera. Out of 586  This one is a treat. Good vibes and I loved the special effects as cheesy as they were worked real well in grounding this story. Vincent Price playing this near abusive husband and Carol Omhart playing the manipulative minx so well off each other it felt practically natural. Just two bad people you'd hate to get stuck in a house with overnight. The rest of the cast did exceptional work with the material given and it just zipped on by in its very brief runtime that I would'nt have minded a bit more of a build-up in some sections just to ratchet the tension. Out of 587 SHORT CUTS Absurd Encounter with Fear - David Lynch [1967] 2 Min I would say I understood this one, but it would be a lie. It was interesting, and I definitely watched it another two times after, but just solid. Out of 5The Runner - Boy Harsher - 38 Min Lots of style and only somewhat a glass half full of substance. It's a weird one because I really like the band quite a bit, but the short felt very spotty in terms of pacing and plotting, but I guess that doesnt really matter, this was definitely a mood piece to be used around the music. Still kinda cool and interesting. Out of 5Lucid - Cameron Ghallager - 8 Min I could kind of gleam what was going on with this one well enough and thought the phasing back and forth between the worlds was pretty neat. A good little story. Out of 5Close Your Eyes - locustgarden - 3 Min This one was alright, I kinda lost the plot for a second or two. I wish there was just a bit more build up with the roommate. the reveal is interesting, but felt like something was missing. Out of 5Eden - I88 - 5 Min Another alright one. Pacing felt good and you get some good vibes from it, but again I would've enjoyed a bit more tension. Maybe a bit more spooky lighting to really build the atmosphere or build out at least one or two of the characters we're following a bit. Out of 5The Moonlight Man - Danny Donahue - 2 Min Didnt work as well as I'd hoped. There's some fun building moments of tension but they kinda get deflated pretty quickly. 2 minutes shouldnt feel like 10. Out of 5Don't Look - CACox97 - 4 Min I get the micro-budget thing, but at least try to get some acting in here. I get it though, the spooky ghost story worked and the creepypasta effect worked, but I wanted something a bit more. Out of 588  Slapface didnt end up working out as well as I had hoped. There's a great seed of an idea in here. Something quite interesting, potentially moving and "coming of age", but its mired down in what feels like a very directionless momentum that just creeps across the ending in a very unsatisfying manner. Whether its the relationship of the brothers that needed fleshing out, the intentions of the monster, the kid "growing up" finally or collectively the brothers moving past their grief there is something there to be found I just dont think movie full grasped what it was reaching for. A shame, there's good stuff in here its just very unfocused. Out of 589 WOODLAND DARK AND DAYS BEWITCHED  This was a lot of fun. A bit goofy, but it has a great setup and this great sense of atmosphere and world building. You dont need to know everything about this world and its inner workings. you just need to know that this young philosopher is going to have his mettle tested greatly by a witch and its all kinda great. If someone were to tell me that Evil Dead drew direct inspiration from this I would totally believe you. Just slapsticky and weird and a lot of fun visual effects going on and some solid physical comedy. Intentional or not it really worked very well and was a lot of fun to watch. Instant classic. Out of 590 SINS OF THE PAST  This one is absolutely a product of its time, but it still works because its a classic story. The adventure through Skull Island was a lot of fun and the ending holds up very well, but the natives, welp. That's just kinda how it goes I guess. I barely remember the Peter Jackson version or if their handling of the native tribes in the story was any better, but yeah this one is a weird one to watch now I guess. Though far from the worst of the worst examples I've seen. All the stuff with Kong you naturally feel bad for the big ape. Didnt deserve any of the events that transpired in the story and didnt deserve to be befallen because of "Beauty and the Beast". Typical colonizer/imperialist attitude. Not your fault for taking him out of his natural habitat, but it was clearly the animals fault. Out of 591  What a weird loving movie. Just absolutely bonkers in its setup and all three of its intertwining story lines. It all comes together so well though, the story of a serial killer, his admirer (who he admires) and the hunter detective thrown to the brink of sanity in the hunt for the killer. Just an incredibly well rounded portrait of these three people on all sides of the spectrum of insanity and obsession. Just a piece of well done fiction that holds up very well to modern viewing and interpretation. Especially in the age of serial killer obsession and a deluge of stories about the well known ones and the most obscure pervading everyone's minds. Out of 5Challenges COMPLETED: 
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Jun 1, 2022 02:41
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