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Peggy Edson posted:Kronos isn't a god. You moron. You loving buffoon! the titans were still gods they just came before the olympians jfc just let a god cut his dads balls off
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May 13, 2022 22:13
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the coolest titan was iapetus, imo
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May 13, 2022 22:14
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the Greeks named him after on of Saturns moons.
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May 13, 2022 22:16
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Mega64 posted:But that's all of them Untrue. Dionisius only parties consensually.
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May 13, 2022 22:17
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The coolest titan is Derrick Henry.
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May 13, 2022 22:18
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Going to say that Auðumbla was cooler. Licked rocks, created gods.
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May 13, 2022 22:25
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Hephaestus knew that his wife Aphrodite was cheating on him with his brother Ares, so when the lovers were in bed he threw an indestructible net over them to trap them in bed, then ran to tell the other gods to come see and laugh at the embarrassed lovers. The gods came, and they laughed... at Hephaestus, the god of cucks.
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May 13, 2022 22:30
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you
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May 13, 2022 22:32
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hey guys look at my wife and bull loving haha isn't that pathetic... haha...
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May 13, 2022 22:39
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 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0zN0VjA3As This is canonical in Greek mythology; Apollo and Dionysus were frontin', like how the two parts of your brain don't get along sometimes, and the world was saved from their fuckery by a time-travelling nerd who named their spaceship after a SyFy TV show. Mister Speaker fucked around with this message at 22:50 on May 13, 2022 |
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May 13, 2022 22:47
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DrSunshine posted:This is legit the dumbest, like, elementary school level one-upsmanship god. Like the ancient Hebrews were like "Oh yeah? Well my god is so powerful he can see everything at once, and do anything, and all the things your gods can do times infinity!!" They even mention the other gods and evidently also believed them to be real, and were just like "Nah but gently caress those gods, our god is the best and is better, and more powerfuler than they are!" You may not know this but when you're trying to prove you're the best culture going, this is what you do. Not go "oh sorry we conquered you actually your gods are actually more powerful than ours. Folks let's remain culturally centralized here but uh, man have you SEEN these other folks gods?" It just wouldn't make sense
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May 13, 2022 22:56
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:Untrue. Dionisius only parties consensually. Unfortunately, there's Aura tldr: Aura is hanging out with Artemis and makes fun of her boobs or something, so Artemis asks Nemesis to visit some terrible vengeance upon her. Nemesis asks Eros to shoot Dionysus with one of those dumb love arrows, then he drugs and rapes her, and it turns out being raped by the God of Madness isn't good for your mental wellbeing, because when she gives birth to twins later she eats one of them. Now the fact that he was supernaturally compelled to do this as part of a convoluted revenge scheme where he's the last link of a conspiracy chain of three other gods might excuse it somewhat, but it's still pretty messed up.
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May 13, 2022 23:02
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That is why you never make fun of an incel's boobs.
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May 13, 2022 23:08
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EorayMel posted:A lot of mythology makes a lot of sense once you realize it is in the context of everybody is either a drunk rear end in a top hat, horny idiot, or preferably both at the same time
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May 13, 2022 23:10
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Mega64 posted:That is why you never make fun of an incel's boobs. Artemis is firmly volcel
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May 13, 2022 23:12
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The Moon Monster posted:FWIW the Greek religious establishment did portray gods as sober, divine beings that were above the follies of petty mortals. Once people stopped actually worshipping them the "frat house on a cloud" portrayal from drama/poetry survived better because it's more interesting. Funny thing is, under the very concept of a god, both can be true. I think of this quote. "Do I contradict myself? Very well I contradict myself. I am large, I contain multitudes."
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May 13, 2022 23:18
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maybe there's different kinds of god-like entities and some exist in a state that's more relatable from a human pov and others are so far removed from our experience as to be impossible to comprehend?????? maybe the pantheons of old were a mix of non-transcendent dieties in varying states of awareness of their own place in the universe, some of which were very petty or otherwise lovely???
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May 13, 2022 23:38
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Big Beef City posted:You may not know this but when you're trying to prove you're the best culture going, this is what you do. I’m sorry I didn’t know this was SOP for conquering, I don’t conquer and exterminate other cultures very much. I therefore must defer to your wisdom and experience.
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May 13, 2022 23:47
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:Untrue. Dionisius only parties consensually. You try telling that to Orpheus
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May 13, 2022 23:54
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Don't his parties involve large muscular drunk women tearing people apart
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May 13, 2022 23:57
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Big Beef City posted:You may not know this but when you're trying to prove you're the best culture going, this is what you do. You say that, but the Romans were really loving good at conquering, and they were less about belittling foreign gods and more about syncretism and incorporating other pantheons as just all being the same deities that went by different names, like Hathor is just another name for Juno or Wotan is really just what the Gauls call Mercury. Hell, the Mongols conquered the poo poo out of people and they never cared what god you worshipped
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May 13, 2022 23:57
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Colonel Cancer posted:Don't his parties involve large muscular drunk women tearing people apart You say that like it's a bad thing.
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May 13, 2022 23:58
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Colonel Cancer posted:Don't his parties involve large muscular drunk women tearing people apart Now this thread is going places.
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May 13, 2022 23:59
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quote:These scenes show the maenads in their frenzy running in the forests, often tearing to pieces any animal they happen to come across.
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May 14, 2022 00:02
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Orpheus was a whiny twat, the Hades game got that part right for sure.
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May 14, 2022 00:06
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Colonel Cancer posted:Don't his parties involve large muscular drunk women tearing people apart Snu snu?
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May 14, 2022 00:07
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Pluto, couldn't even stay a real planet. 
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May 14, 2022 00:07
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Colonel Cancer posted:Don't his parties involve large muscular drunk women tearing people apart Amazons! Yes! Lets party with Amazons!
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May 14, 2022 00:07
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Orpheus FUCKS. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tbi2sMl50oA
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May 14, 2022 00:12
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Asterite34 posted:Hell, the Mongols conquered the poo poo out of people and they never cared what god you worshipped Shut your philosophy hole and pay your taxes.
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May 14, 2022 00:31
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Szyznyk posted:Shut your philosophy hole and pay your taxes. Isn't that what Jesus said about the Romans?
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May 14, 2022 00:39
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The Titans, however, are the best. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlcFYbgQyEQ (There's a video where the song is clearer, but it lacks the WONDERFUL recorded off a TV video of the product)
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May 14, 2022 00:45
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Asterite34 posted:You say that, but the Romans were really loving good at conquering, and they were less about belittling foreign gods and more about syncretism and incorporating other pantheons as just all being the same deities that went by different names, like Hathor is just another name for Juno or Wotan is really just what the Gauls call Mercury. Hell, the Mongols conquered the poo poo out of people and they never cared what god you worshipped
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May 14, 2022 00:51
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Colonel Cancer posted:Don't his parties involve large muscular drunk women tearing people apart I don’t recall them being described as muscular or large, they just had superhuman strength because they were all hopped up on Dionysus’ divine madness. And wine.
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May 14, 2022 00:52
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Cornwind Evil posted:The Titans, however, are the best. There's a reason my favorite football team is the Titans. Living in Tennessee is only 95% of it.
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May 14, 2022 00:57
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Asterite34 posted:Ares: You're also leaving out the fact that Ares almost took the day for the Trojans before this, running roughshod over the Greeks, which would have made the Iliad a longish poem instead of an epic. Please note I'm not stanning for Ares; I'm all about the real hero of the Iliad, my boy the big D.
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May 14, 2022 01:03
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Admiralty Flag posted:Please note I'm not stanning for Ares; I'm all about the real hero of the Iliad, my boy the big D. Deeznutsicles
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May 14, 2022 01:05
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Mumpy Puffinz posted:Isn't that what Jesus said about the Romans? Render unto Caesar. Only Jesus wouldn’t shut his philosophy hole and it’s lucky for him it wasn’t the Mongols that got him and played polo with his head.
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May 14, 2022 01:08
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honestly i hate hera's kids too so she gets a pass
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May 14, 2022 01:52
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Call Your Grandma posted:honestly i hate hera's kids too so she gets a pass aside from Athena I think they are all Hera's kids That's a good punk band name: Hera's Kids
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May 14, 2022 02:02
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