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a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!
The 2021 NFL Season was pretty cool. Especially if you're a Rams fan.

But there are plenty of people who are not Rams fans. Who think that, you know, if a few bounces had broken differently, maybe things would have been different. Maybe it would have been my team celebrating in Los Angeles.

So we're here to find out if the Rams were really a team of destiny.... Or if they just happened to be at the right place at the right time. How do we do that? By doing something I used to do in the offseason but stopped doing it for a few years because I got bored. That's right, it's time to re-do the season by way of our What If Sports simulation machine!

So here's the deal. Over the course of the rest of the offseason, I'll re-sim each week of the 2021 season. It will be a true sim, no re-simming to make things interesting or to get a funnier result. One sim until all 274 games are done, and then the same thing for the playoffs. I might keep track of the stats, I might not. If you want to, feel free. Anyways, I'll start with week 1 later tonight.

https://www.whatifsports.com/locker/

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Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

my team can't do any better after winning the big super bowl. here's hoping the other teams have agood time in fantasy land. love it

Blitz of 404 Error
Sep 19, 2007

Joe Biden is a top 15 president
Raiders RISE

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!
:siren::siren::siren: WEEK ONE :siren::siren::siren:

Dallas 23, Tampa 27
Philadelphia 43, Atlanta 24
Pittsburgh 12, Buffalo 41
Minnesota 33, Cincinnati 34
San Francisco 34, Detroit 45
Arizona 27, Tennessee 34
Seattle 23, Indianapolis 24
Chargers 23, Washington 26 F/OT
Jets 17, Carolina 33
Jacksonville 30, Houston 37
Cleveland 34, Kansas City 28 F/OT
Miami 28, New England 33
Green Bay 26, New Orleans 30
Denver 44, Giants 7
Chicago 25, Rams 24
Baltimore 42, Las Vegas 10


NFC:

East:

Philadelphia 1-0 (0-0)
Washington 1-0 (0-0)
Dallas 0-1 (0-0)
Giants 0-1 (0-0)

North:

Chicago 1-0 (0-0)
Detroit 1-0 (0-0)
Minnesota 0-1 (0-0)
Green Bay 0-1 (0-0)

South:

Tampa Bay 1-0 (0-0)
New Orleans 1-0 (0-0)
Carolina 1-0 (0-0)
Atlanta 0-1 (0-0)

West:

Seattle 0-1 (0-0)
Arizona 0-1 (0-0)
Rams 0-1 (0-0)
San Francisco 0-1 (0-0)


AFC:

East:

New England 1-0 (1-0)
Buffalo 1-0 (0-0)
Jets 0-1 (0-0)
Miami 0-1 (0-1)

North:

Cincinnati 1-0 (0-0)
Baltimore 1-0 (0-0)
Cleveland 1-0 (0-0)
Pittsburgh 0-1 (0-0)

South:

Houston 1-0 (1-0)
Indianapolis 1-0 (0-0)
Tennessee 1-0 (0-0)
Jacksonville 0-1 (0-1)

West:

Denver 1-0 (0-0)
Chargers 0-1 (0-0)
Kansas City 0-1 (0-0)
Las Vegas 0-1 (0-0)

a neat cape fucked around with this message at 05:59 on May 13, 2022

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

i dont think the chargers would lose that game. In real life they won even after not playing that good. Re-do

The Puppy Bowl
Jan 31, 2013

A dog, in the house.

*woof*
42-10 is a much more expected outcome for week 1. Does the sim assume good health? If so Ravens going to win the Superbowl.

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

The Puppy Bowl posted:

42-10 is a much more expected outcome for week 1. Does the sim assume good health? If so Ravens going to win the Superbowl.

It does!

Zoran
Aug 19, 2008

I lost to you once, monster. I shall not lose again! Die now, that our future can live!
How is Dallas 1-0 after losing by 4

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Zoran posted:

How is Dallas 1-0 after losing by 4

Whoops. Fixed

Cool Post Beg
Mar 6, 2008

DADDY MAGIC
Vikings radio is fuckin burying that kicker

Silly Burrito
Nov 27, 2007

SET A COURSE FOR
THE FLAVOR QUADRANT
I knew the Saints beating the Packers wasn't a fluke. And this time they did it with Trevor Siemian.

unl33t
Feb 21, 2004



beggar posted:

Vikings radio is fuckin burying that kicker

Thankfully we here at the Funhouse remain focused on the largest problem for the Vikings, Kirk Cousins

fartknocker
Oct 28, 2012


Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.



Wedge Regret
Go Chargers

Mega64
May 23, 2008

I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.
Lions already have their first win of the season. :unsmith:

Probably Magic
Oct 9, 2012

Looking cute, feeling cute.

Mega64 posted:

Lions already have their first win of the season. :unsmith:

Simulation already showing its flaws.

sirtommygunn
Mar 7, 2013



Carolina had a dude named "Chuba Hubbard" on their roster? And nobody told me? What the gently caress

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

i told your rear end

sirtommygunn
Mar 7, 2013



You should have told my ears

Metapod
Mar 18, 2012
This will not be finished I've learned my lesson

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

it's about the journey

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!
:siren::siren::siren: Week Two :siren::siren::siren:

Giants 27, Washington 19
Cincinnati 16, Chicago 19 F/OT
Houston 10, Cleveland 27
Rams 23, Indianapolis 44
Buffalo 20, Miami 23 F/OT
New England 27, Jets 19
San Francisco 31, Philadelphia 34 F/OT
Las Vegas 17, Pittsburgh 28
New Orleans 20, Carolina 13
Denver 27, Jacksonville 24
Minnesota 33, Arizona 27
Atlanta 10, Tampa Bay 44
Tennessee 7, Seattle 27
Dallas 26, Chargers 29 F/OT
Kansas City 35, Baltimore 49
Detroit 16, Green Bay 27


NFC:

East:

Philadelphia 2-0 (0-0)
Giants 1-1 (1-0)
Washington 1-1 (0-1)
Dallas 0-2 (0-0)

North:

Chicago 2-0 (0-0)
Detroit 1-1 (0-1)
Minnesota 1-1 (0-0)
Green Bay 1-1 (1-0)

South:

Tampa Bay 2-0 (1-0)
New Orleans 2-0 (1-0)
Carolina 1-1 (0-1)
Atlanta 0-2 (0-1)

West:

Seattle 1-1 (0-0)
Arizona 0-2 (0-0)
Rams 0-2 (0-0)
San Francisco 0-2 (0-0)


AFC:

East:

New England 2-0 (2-0)
Miami 1-1 (1-1)
Buffalo 1-1 (0-1)
Jets 0-2 (0-1)

North:

Baltimore 2-0 (0-0)
Cleveland 2-0 (0-0)
Cincinnati 1-1 (0-0)
Pittsburgh 1-1 (0-0)

South:

Indianapolis 2-0 (0-0)
Houston 1-1 (1-0)
Tennessee 1-1 (0-0)
Jacksonville 0-2 (0-1)

West:

Denver 2-0 (0-0)
Chargers 1-1 (0-0)
Kansas City 0-2 (0-0)
Las Vegas 0-2 (0-0)

JPrime
Jul 4, 2007

tales of derring-do, bad and good luck tales!
College Slice
vikings kick a meaningless FG as time expires to win by 6 instead of 3 vs cardinals....someone had money on that game

fast cars loose anus
Mar 2, 2007

Pillbug
im late but lol @ the urban meyer jags still losing week 1 to Houston

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

baldamore

The Puppy Bowl
Jan 31, 2013

A dog, in the house.

*woof*
Just checked the box score and the RBs on the Ravens show the team rosters are the week one roster. Meaning the Ravens whole RB corp and secondary are already hosed. Those fictional boys of Baltimore are due to collapse.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Mac Jones: 5 rushing attempts, 0 yards, Long of 2, 1 TD.

Hell yeah Mac.

BrownThunder
Oct 26, 2005

EXTEND BEN!
Forever and ever and ever

Raiders seem terrible gosh

Acebuckeye13
Nov 2, 2010


If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling
1-800-GAMBLER


Ultra Carp
This simulator really loves Jamaal Williams, he's currently running for 10.6 yards per carry. Now that's efficiency!

Mystic Stylez
Dec 19, 2009

Ravens already on their way to big fraud status

GNU Order
Feb 28, 2011

That's a paddlin'

Treating this thread as gospel when it reveals how good the Bears should have been

BrownThunder
Oct 26, 2005

EXTEND BEN!
Forever and ever and ever

Does the sim account for if he got that dawg in 'im

DariusLikewise
Oct 4, 2008

You wore that on Halloween?
This simulator is bullshit and I will not allow it

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!
:siren::siren::siren: Week Three :siren::siren::siren:

Carolina 21, Houston 20
Washington 3, Buffalo 41
Chicago 17, Cleveland 31
Baltimore 24, Detroit 17
Indianapolis 22, Tennessee 21
Chargers 17, Kansas City 23
New Orleans 10, New England 16
Atlanta 31, Giants 23
Cincinnati 44, Pittsburgh 27
Arizona 27, Jacksonville 12
Jets 19, Denver 23
Miami 8, Las Vegas 16
Tampa Bay 20, Rams 10
Seattle 29, Minnesota 33
Green Bay 31, San Francisco 34
Philadelphia 24, Dallas 26


NFC:

East:

Philadelphia 2-1 (0-1)
Giants 1-2 (1-0)
Dallas 1-2 (1-0)
Washington 1-2 (0-1)

North:

Chicago 2-1 (0-0)
Minnesota 2-1 (0-0)
Green Bay 1-2 (1-0)
Detroit 1-2 (0-1)

South:

Tampa Bay 3-0 (1-0)
New Orleans 2-1 (1-0)
Carolina 2-1 (0-1)
Atlanta 1-2 (0-1)

West:

Seattle 1-2 (0-0)
Arizona 1-2 (0-0)
San Francisco 1-2 (0-0)
Rams 0-3 (0-0)


AFC:

East:

New England 3-0 (2-0)
Buffalo 2-1 (0-1)
Miami 1-2 (1-1)
Jets 0-3 (0-1)

North:

Baltimore 3-0 (0-0)
Cleveland 3-0 (0-0)
Cincinnati 2-1 (1-0)
Pittsburgh 1-2 (0-1)

South:

Indianapolis 3-0 (1-0)
Houston 1-2 (1-0)
Tennessee 1-2 (0-1)
Jacksonville 0-3 (0-1)

West:

Denver 3-0 (0-0)
Kansas City 1-2 (1-0)
Las Vegas 1-2 (0-0)
Chargers 1-2 (0-1)

Pablo Bluth
Sep 7, 2007

I've made a huge mistake.
I'm a bit late but any simulation that suggests the 2021 Miami Dolphins could beat Josh Allen is clearly flawed. Outside of the first matchup in his career, he's owned them every game.

sirtommygunn
Mar 7, 2013



Kicking a field goal with 4 minutes left when they needed a touchdown to tie. Yup, those are my New York Jets.

Bismack Billabongo
Oct 9, 2012

Wet
Oh I’m supposed to believe Carson Wentz would throw a game winning touchdown as time expires? Ok

Darth Brooks
Jan 15, 2005

I do not wear this mask to protect me. I wear it to protect you from me.

Kirk Cousin is clutch, sim is flawed.

fartknocker
Oct 28, 2012


Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.



Wedge Regret
SameOldSorryAssRams.mp4

I haven’t been checking most of the game summaries, but is WhatIf still heavily skewed toward the running game? I remember a few years back some random Ravens RB who had like 4 big carries (I think in reality on special teams or trick plays) was blowing up the sim each week and it was generally not kind to pass heavy teams.

unl33t
Feb 21, 2004



Darth Brooks posted:

Kirk Cousin is clutch, sim is flawed.

I see no reason to question the veracity of these results from the Metrodome.

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3 DONG HORSE
May 22, 2008

I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

The Broncos are the best team in the league, as always

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