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The ancients were not without a sense of humor and thankfully for us the bad translations done by hackjob grad students make it even funnier. It's a dick joke
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# ? May 15, 2022 13:20 |
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# ? May 11, 2024 13:51 |
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Epic paganist DESTROYS Christianity with poor spelling and handwriting
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# ? May 15, 2022 13:26 |
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I posted this in another thread a little while ago: https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20160216-did-the-maya-create-the-first-comics ...including a cheeky rabbit that could be considered the “Mayan Bugs Bunny" as he tells an old man to "smell your sweat, wizard penis".
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# ? May 15, 2022 15:00 |
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The very first joke, and we see it in apes, would have been farting
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# ? May 15, 2022 15:06 |
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Billy Ray Blowjob posted:The very first joke, and we see it in apes, would have been farting “Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.” -Sumerian, ca. 1900 BC
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# ? May 15, 2022 15:11 |
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Ancient Dude 1: does fart noise Ancient Dude 2: Ah he just did a poo poo! Ancient Dude 1: No, just the noise, and I can do more, I have named them Farts. Ancient Dude 2: What the gently caress
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# ? May 15, 2022 15:14 |
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Dementropy posted:"smell your sweat, wizard penis"
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# ? May 15, 2022 15:15 |
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The first joke was told in 5433 BC in western Anatolia I was there. It went something like "a horse walked into a donkey, said 'why the long face?' and the donkey said 'why the long penis?'" I may be misremembering some of the details but that man was beaten to death for daring to speak the truth.
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# ? May 15, 2022 15:16 |
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Do we get to discuss the goon favorite Pompeii graffiti? Anyways I always found ancient humor and sexuality to be gratifying because it shows that our ancestors were just like us.
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# ? May 15, 2022 16:33 |
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that dog bar joke is pretty solid.
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# ? May 15, 2022 16:39 |
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Non Krampus Mentis posted:“Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.” -Sumerian, ca. 1900 BC classic, definitely a raggedy rear end beer fart too
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# ? May 15, 2022 17:07 |
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caesar? dont mind if i do
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# ? May 15, 2022 17:40 |
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The Hittites were some sick fucks, and their law code reflects that:quote:If anyone have intercourse with a pig or a dog, he shall die. If a man have intercourse with a horse or a mule, there is no punishment. But he shall not approach the king, and shall not become a priest. If an ox spring upon a man for intercourse, the ox shall die but the man shall not die. One sheep shall be fetched as a substitute for the man, and they shall kill it. If a pig spring upon a man for intercourse, there is no punishment. If any man have intercourse with a foreign woman and pick up this one, now that one, there is no punishment.
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# ? May 15, 2022 17:52 |
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love to codify my disgusting fetish into law
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# ? May 15, 2022 17:54 |
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hot cocoa on the couch posted:love to codify my disgusting fetish into law They weren't carving multiple giant law stellas into rock around the kingdom because 'one guy thought'.
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# ? May 15, 2022 18:14 |
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friend: hey xenostaticus how did your date go with that girl from the island xenostaticus: *angrily* dont go to that loving island dude, theyre all rug munchers
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# ? May 15, 2022 18:29 |
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hot cocoa on the couch posted:love to codify my disgusting fetish into law You can. Well, you can get close, anyway, for future archaeologists.
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# ? May 15, 2022 18:29 |
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Billy Ray Blowjob posted:The very first joke, and we see it in apes, would have been farting Me, and GBS
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# ? May 15, 2022 18:57 |
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Big Beef City posted:They weren't carving multiple giant law stellas into rock around the kingdom because 'one guy thought'. It obviously depends on the specific sort of divinely blessed monarchy you are going for, but monumental inscriptions of laws sounds like exactly the sort of thing you do because "one guy thought". Of course there's a whole culture around every person, and the opinions of every king will be influenced by his upbringing and advisors and what have you - but I'd be way more surprised if no personal whims of the ruler have ever made it into law.
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# ? May 15, 2022 19:54 |
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Didn't Napoleon specifically pass a law that in effect only applied to one person because he was mad jealous of that guy (Alexander Dumas's father, as I recall) and never wanted to run into him again?
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# ? May 15, 2022 20:01 |
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marshmallow creep posted:Didn't Napoleon specifically pass a law that in effect only applied to one person because he was mad jealous of that guy (Alexander Dumas's father, as I recall) and never wanted to run into him again?
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# ? May 15, 2022 22:40 |
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Computer viking posted:It obviously depends on the specific sort of divinely blessed monarchy you are going for, but monumental inscriptions of laws sounds like exactly the sort of thing you do because "one guy thought". no this never happened I looked. Mostly I just meant that 'ruled by a king or not' it's extremely unlikely that any society gets to the point of "Let's codify laws enough to carve them into rock, and not just in a one off tablet that Mark made and got found later, I mean, put 'em up, post 'em for good laws" without there being a reason and enough of a precedent to make said laws. In other words, something has to happen enough times, and be important enough to not only be a spoken rule or social taboo, but come up enough that people are like "Ok lets look at the giant stone post and see about that". Big Beef City fucked around with this message at 23:31 on May 15, 2022 |
# ? May 15, 2022 23:29 |
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How many guys have to get surprise hosed by pigs before someone says "There should be a law about this--and the law should say that this is totally okay!"
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# ? May 16, 2022 00:12 |
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"They were coming right for me!!"
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# ? May 16, 2022 00:58 |
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Big Beef City posted:no this never happened I looked. That's how laws work nowadays but IIRC from "The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind" law stelae were often carved with the outcome of individual cases and were more akin to records of precedent than statutes.
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# ? May 16, 2022 01:04 |
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Like, the first time an issue gets decided it goes on the monument.
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# ? May 16, 2022 01:05 |
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i don't know who invented the joke or when, but i do know they got banned by genesplicer for doing it
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# ? May 16, 2022 01:07 |
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Applewhite posted:Like, the first time an issue gets decided it goes on the monument. nah first it goes into the collective memory banks of the guys who get paid to memorize laws and maybe write them down in mud then latter it goes in the big rock
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# ? May 16, 2022 02:16 |
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“Oy! You lot! Quit fuckin’ the pigs!” “Wot eff th’ pigs, they gently caress you back like?” “Narr tha’s okay!”
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# ? May 16, 2022 02:26 |
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on the topic of law & order quote:Qin Dynasty: The law stipulates that men shorter than the height of 1.52 meters and women shorter than the height of 1.52 meters do not have to bear criminal responsibility for crimes. manlets stay winning
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# ? May 16, 2022 02:26 |
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War and Pieces posted:on the topic of law & order I wonder if that was intended as the equivalent of "children can't be tried as adults", but with a cutoff that doesn't require record keeping or subjective evaluations? (I now also wonder how good the record keeping in Qin China was, and how tall they typically grew)
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# ? May 16, 2022 02:41 |
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quote:When King Stephen besieged Newbury Castle in 1152, he used the young William[Marshal, most celebrated knight of all time] as a hostage to ensure that John [his dad] kept his promise to surrender the castle. John, however, used the time allotted to reinforce the castle and to alert Matilda's forces. When Stephen ordered John to surrender immediately, threatening that William would be hanged, John replied that he should go ahead saying, "I still have the hammer and the anvil with which to forge still more and better sons!" Subsequently, a pretence was made to launch William from a pierrière (a type of trebuchet) towards the castle. Stephen could not bring himself to harm young William.[6]
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# ? May 16, 2022 02:42 |
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Applewhite posted:That's how laws work nowadays but IIRC from "The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind" law stelae were often carved with the outcome of individual cases and were more akin to records of precedent than statutes. That kind of makes sense - I guess "let's write down what we decided and display it" is one route to a more fair and predictable rule of law. Seem like it would be vulnerable to bad precedents, but that's arguably still a problem today.
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# ? May 16, 2022 02:45 |
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Computer viking posted:That kind of makes sense - I guess "let's write down what we decided and display it" is one route to a more fair and predictable rule of law. Seem like it would be vulnerable to bad precedents, but that's arguably still a problem today. On the plus side Stare Decisis was a lot harder to overturn once it was carved on a rock.
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# ? May 16, 2022 02:49 |
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War and Pieces posted:on the topic of law & order What if you like, just hunch over
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# ? May 16, 2022 03:19 |
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Chop off your legs and become the world's best burglar
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# ? May 16, 2022 03:27 |
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Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:How many guys have to get surprise hosed by pigs before someone says "There should be a law about this--and the law should say that this is totally okay!" You'd be surprised (by a pig ).
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# ? May 16, 2022 03:44 |
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BigBadSteve posted:You'd be surprised (by a pig ). self defence would be a lot harder back when only the wealthy could afford a bronze dagger
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# ? May 16, 2022 12:59 |
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You'd think he'd be scary irl but turns out Stephen King couldn't even launch a kid from a trebuchet
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# ? May 16, 2022 13:06 |
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# ? May 11, 2024 13:51 |
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He's the One God He's the Fun God He's the Sun God Ra! Ra! Ra!
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# ? May 16, 2022 23:06 |