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Paint lambs blood around all of the entrances to the school.
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May 28, 2022 06:25
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| # ? May 4, 2024 01:51 |
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All schools entrances should be rotating doors. This way an enthusiastic shooter will keep accidentally ending up outside.
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May 28, 2022 06:26
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Ban people.
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May 28, 2022 06:26
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Put large DONUT SHOP signs over schools so that cops are always on site roaming the halls, already enraged because of the lack of donuts.
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May 28, 2022 06:27
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Attack and dethrone God.
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May 28, 2022 06:27
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Offer the shooter a cold refreshing Pepsi-Cola
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May 28, 2022 06:30
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allow school shooters to unionize so that their needs can be met through collective bargaining.
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May 28, 2022 06:31
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A nauseatingly realistic school shooter sim on steam.
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May 28, 2022 06:32
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Compartmentalize all schools with magnetically locked doors every yard. We don't use meters, because Reagan wouldn't like it.
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May 28, 2022 06:38
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kids didn't shoot up schools back when we were still excited about pizza day on fridays :/ just saying...
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May 28, 2022 06:40
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stop giving stupid human beings access to semi automatic rifles. Yes, this is a sci-fi dream for dumbshits. I'm just posting 'ere
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May 28, 2022 06:47
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old beast lunatic posted:stop giving stupid human beings access to semi automatic rifles. Yes, this is a sci-fi dream for dumbshits. I'm just posting 'ere please try to take this thread seriously
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May 28, 2022 06:48
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Put a tyrant in power that has the audacity to ensure that children aren’t murdered at school
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May 28, 2022 06:54
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shoot all the kids preemptively
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May 28, 2022 06:57
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Impact kill switches into all of the students for when they go rogue
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May 28, 2022 06:59
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rename SCHOOL to SCHELL to scare away the shooters
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May 28, 2022 07:01
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Mandatory abortions for anyone under 65.
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May 28, 2022 07:03
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They'll probably eventually decide that the solution is remote controlled gun turrets, connected via IOT which will definitely never be hacked and start a crisis. Or maybe attack dogs trained on the cheap, just as controlled in a fraction of the price!
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May 28, 2022 07:07
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Geld all men at birth and send them to smash rocks in the Temple of Doom from ages 5-65
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May 28, 2022 07:14
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Send all children to school in mexico
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May 28, 2022 07:24
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redistribution of the girlfriends to incels
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May 28, 2022 07:24
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ban all gun sales and destroy all existing guns
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May 28, 2022 07:30
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Methanar posted:Send all children to school in mexico reclassify all schools as mexican exclave territory for demographic purposes
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May 28, 2022 07:30
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invent a virus that everyone has to get vaccines for but secretly put tracking microchips in them and if the chip detects you're gonna do a shooting it induces a heart attack
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May 28, 2022 07:37
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every school has a handhewn stone chamber at the entrance where visitors must answer a goblins 3 riddles correctly in order to come into the school
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May 28, 2022 07:44
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Mr. Meagles posted:invent a virus that everyone has to get vaccines for but secretly put tracking microchips in them and if the chip detects you're gonna do a shooting it induces a heart attack i thought this was the thread for making up things that dont already exist
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May 28, 2022 07:45
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declare schools as gun-free zones
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May 28, 2022 08:07
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLXKFKHhl8o
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May 28, 2022 08:34
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Smart guns: they have a little camera and microchip in them where if the target looks like a child the gun will act as if it's jammed until the would-be shooter visually checks the barrel, at which point the gun shoots them. It's true that this will mean the end of the "guns don't kill people" argument but sacrifices must be made.
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May 28, 2022 09:20
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Mandatory pogo sticks when weilding a firearm. The mirthful hopping reduces accuracy and severely hampers reload speed and buildings can be fitted with comically low hanging signs to increase the amount of pratfalls
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May 28, 2022 09:32
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put all the children in wombs. suddenly people care
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May 28, 2022 09:33
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Decoy classrooms full of inflatable children, still taught by actual teachers In the event of an active shooting, fans turn on under the desk causing the infantoflates to start flailing around
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May 28, 2022 09:35
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A school program that offers kids a chance to be part of the Lamb Program™️, where they get exclusive privileges like a free cookie at the end of each school week and a special table in the cafeteria. In the event of an active shooter they are to present themselves as the first targets the perpetrator spots, wearing special body armour that bursts into confetti to surprise and delight them out of their murder trance
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May 28, 2022 09:40
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Replace gun triggers with Rubiks Cubes that scramble on each shot. Alternatively those little sliding tile puzzles that upset you and make you want to break them
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May 28, 2022 09:42
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Replace iron sights with a picture of a sad puppy
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May 28, 2022 09:43
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Legalise bump stocks again, but instead of the recoil activating the trigger the stocks have a hydraulic ram that violently kicks out into the shoulder
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May 28, 2022 09:48
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Invent tiny tanks for the children that they have to drive at all times when they are at school like a school uniform. Teachers can have slightly larger tanks.
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May 28, 2022 09:49
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Vote.
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May 28, 2022 09:55
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Gradually increase the only available caliber of bullet to ridiculous size until you need a railway cannon to fire them The casualty amount might be higher but it looks statistically better if the shooting is over with one round fired
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May 28, 2022 09:56
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| # ? May 4, 2024 01:51 |
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Put everyone into cybernetic pods like in The Matrix. I originally had several very different reasons for wanting to do this, including solving homelessness and gentrification, but it works for shootings too I guess.
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May 28, 2022 10:40
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