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Give everyone explosive collars like in the movie Wedlock and the state has the codes to make em go off. So if anyone tries to do a mass shooting... They blow you up! Boom! How rude! An explosive collar society is a polite society.
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May 28, 2022 10:46
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Make mass shootings legal and let the free market solve the problem.
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May 28, 2022 10:53
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Just stop having children
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May 28, 2022 10:59
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Mooey Cow posted:Give everyone explosive collars like in the movie Wedlock and the state has the codes to make em go off. So if anyone tries to do a mass shooting... But what if that accidentally killed a patriotic gun haver? I propose detonating the children's collars instead so a potential roger tango tango active bad actor doesn't have anyone left to shoot Imagine the look on his face!
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May 28, 2022 11:09
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Put up big billboards that say "remember not to mass shoot today  "
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May 28, 2022 11:12
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make voting republican a death penalty crime
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May 28, 2022 11:12
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Everyone has to choose to either be on the blue team or the orange team. You're legally justified to shoot anyone on the opposite team but all other methods of murder are still illegal
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May 28, 2022 11:48
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Every day you don't shoot someone you can stamp your Good Citizen Book with a smiley face and at the end of the year you get a free coffee and certificate
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May 28, 2022 11:54
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Change the legal definition of a mass shooting to at least a thousand people, simple. No mass shootings so far in 2022, good job guys!
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May 28, 2022 12:10
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Bullets travel slower underwater, so just flood the entire world. Enrich mothers' milk with Kevlar, granting babies bulletproof skin.
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May 28, 2022 12:38
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Don't believe it happens. If someone says to you "12 kids got shot at Disneyland today" just say "No they didn't." If they say "but it's all over the news." just say "No it's not." If they say "You're crazy. Look, here's video some tourist shot on their phone on Youtube." just slap the phone out of their hand, scream "Get away from me!" and then run into the woods to hide for a few days. You are the master of your own mind.
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May 28, 2022 12:44
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You mass shoot me? Then I mass shoot you, buddy.
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May 28, 2022 12:46
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I think they should combine local schools with zoos. And then they should arm the animals. You know what stops a bad guy with an ar-15? An orangutan with a desert eagle
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May 28, 2022 12:49
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Ban semi-automatic rifles.
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May 28, 2022 13:23
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schools go vr only and everyone gets a turn shooting up the classroom
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May 28, 2022 13:45
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Make it illegal to sell automatic rifles unless there's a cat superglued to it. Cats sleep about 20 hours per day and are incredibly grumpy when woken. Firing the rifle causes the cat to wake up and claw the shooter in the face.
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May 28, 2022 14:00
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raise the price of ammo so poor people can't afford itSongbearer posted:Every day you don't shoot someone you can stamp your Good Citizen Book with a smiley face and at the end of the year you get a free coffee and certificate heh sucker i still get the free coffee and certificate even if i shoot someone every day
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May 28, 2022 14:28
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Only sell guns with a BANG! flag inside the barrel. No more bullets.
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May 28, 2022 14:32
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Place a ring of skunks around every schoolhouse in America
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May 28, 2022 14:35
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If you buy a gun you have to have a german shepheard or other similiar sized dog stiched to your back and you share a circulatory system and partially share a spine with it.
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May 28, 2022 14:39
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Have we considered making murder against the rules?
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May 28, 2022 14:41
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A mass-vaccination plan so everyone gets autism and becomes too interested in Sonic the Hedgehog, trains, and Sonic the Hedgehog riding trains to do any mass shootings.
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May 28, 2022 14:41
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Fit classrooms with miniaturization rays and miniature safe rooms where kids and teachers can hide as soon as shooting begins. Serves double duty and miniaturizes the shooter if they're stupid enough to investigate an empty classroom, gonna be hard to lift that military grade rifle when you're an inch tall!
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May 28, 2022 14:43
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Two words: Comfortable Footwear.
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May 28, 2022 14:43
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All gunfights must now be turn based using a hex grid system
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May 28, 2022 14:44
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There should be an approved Party member accompanying every child at every point. Where this is impossible (for example, where there are more children than Party members), there should be an approved Party member accompanying every other child.
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May 28, 2022 14:47
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 Put this on the entrance to every school and you'll reduce the number of shootings by more than 50% without having to ban guns altogether.
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May 28, 2022 14:55
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Mobile classrooms that never drop below 35mph
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May 28, 2022 15:01
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- triple police funding, so that they actually stop crime a la minority report instead of being violent gangsters - a bunch of celebrities sing a Lin Manuel Miranda song, bringing the nation together in harmony - assemble a perfect, irrefutable arrangement of gun statistics - ketamine in the water supply
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May 28, 2022 15:01
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Just don't have cops anymore because they don't do anything except hurt or kill people
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May 28, 2022 15:02
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Local psychics which can detect the intentions of anyone attempting to enter school property and cause their heads to explode as needed, just like Scanners.
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May 28, 2022 15:07
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Ignatius M. Meen posted:Local psychics which can detect the intentions of anyone attempting to enter school property and cause their heads to explode as needed, just like Scanners. what a stupid loving idea it should be more like minority report
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May 28, 2022 15:09
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AARD VARKMAN posted:I think they should combine local schools with zoos. And then they should arm the animals. You know what stops a bad guy with an ar-15? An orangutan with a desert eagle Let the apes build their own gun technology. It was shown in a documentary that they can create a rifle that shoots boots that directly home in on the target's rear end, causing them to be comically thrown upwards and out of the building  
MiracleFlare fucked around with this message at 15:33 on May 28, 2022 |
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May 28, 2022 15:30
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Harden the doors so they can be locked from the inside
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May 28, 2022 15:41
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Pastel Candy Snake posted:what a stupid loving idea didn't that system result in the cop trying to avoid the other cops and end up killing the dude he was predicted to murder anyway? I guess if you put chips in everyone that on a report generation would result in the perp being unable to move until they could be collected then you'd avoid that problem but still
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May 28, 2022 15:43
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Coal mines tend to have a limited number of entryways
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May 28, 2022 15:45
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Lord Decimus Barnacle posted:Harden the doors so they can be locked from the inside Weld the doors shut from the inside. To exit the room students must saw the door back open. Not only is this system very safe and secure but it also teaches useful skills for the workplace!
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May 28, 2022 15:48
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Just have mobile steel cubes available for kids and teachers to get in during the school day with a built-in webcam, TV, and supplies that can take kids from class to class and have mail slot equivalents for lunch and more school supplies when people run out. Anyone who enters the school not in an approved cube gets the alarms to go off and a specialized mobile cube will be released to attempt to corner and trap the offender.
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May 28, 2022 16:00
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Upload the children's consciousness to "the cloud"
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May 28, 2022 16:01
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What happened to the canisters of knockout gas that were supposed to be installed in every school after Columbine? Press a button, seals all the doors and fills the hallways with non-lethal levels of chloroform.
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May 28, 2022 16:08
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