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All teens and young adults will have a School Shooter Likelihood Score determined by their peers and teachers and anyone with a score too high will be punished by Transportation to Australia.
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Jun 1, 2022 17:24
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Rename existing gun makes and models to something that better telegraphs their actual commonplace usage. Glock 22? More like We've Got a Runner. Remington 870 broke, Bathroom Redecorator woke. ArmaLite-15, just increment the count for every victim every time there's a school shooting.
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Jun 1, 2022 20:09
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Turn off the Internet
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Jun 1, 2022 20:12
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Dragonstoned posted:Just stop letting mentally ill people buy guns jfc shut da gently caress up nerd!!!!! Big Beef City posted:This except all children and schools. When school is outlawed, only outlaws will go to school
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Jun 1, 2022 20:51
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EVERY TIME GOING posted:A lattice of ablative platelets surgically grafted onto the backs of all students prior to starting K-12, providing timely protection from a spectrum of small arms fire all the way to flak/anti-tank rounds once the defensive fetal position is assumed. one or two days of each week gym glass is spent mastering the bulletproof phalanx formation.
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Jun 1, 2022 20:53
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Mandatory bulletproof vests as school uniforms  
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Jun 1, 2022 20:58
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Save yourself the trouble of someone shooting your child and shoot them yourself so you won't be as surprised by the crippling loss.
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Jun 2, 2022 03:07
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Open a Gun Store in every Elementary School to leverage the profitable synergies between shooter/shootee.
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Jun 2, 2022 22:27
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Screw these McMansion school closed door policies that only serve for cops to reliably corner shooters into crowded classrooms. What the districts should do is instead prop all their doors wide open. The shooter like roadrunner being chased by wile coyotes will simply be unable to stop until it's already too late and they're out on the other side heading straight for the open door of a police cruiser.
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Jun 2, 2022 22:38
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All gun barrels have a 90 degree bend making them super awkward to fire
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Jun 2, 2022 23:00
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Thinking outside the box, could we provide something to the white men perpetrating these slaughters? The upcoming Supreme Court decision to chattelize women is a good start, but I can't help but to think there's another 3/5 kind of way that's already accounted for in the original, Holy US Constitution that they've been itching for....
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Jun 3, 2022 00:17
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Make triggers sting a bit.
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Jun 3, 2022 23:27
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Triggers are sharp enough to draw blood and covered in deadly venoms. Antivenom is stored in gun ranges only, under lock.
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Jun 3, 2022 23:35
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Make all guns shoot in both directions at once. You can still take out one person, but you've gotta be pretty committed about it.
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Jun 4, 2022 00:40
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Kids like manga, right? Draw and write english manga about a school club where students learn school survival skills like evading gunfire, improvising cover with desks, executing counterattacks with desk litter, and how to evaluate and maintain your bullet resistant backpack. Turn it into an anime that is originally voiced in english but ironically gets a japanese dub.
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Jun 4, 2022 01:25
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Just give up and sob patiently until it's your turn to be shot.
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Jun 4, 2022 01:33
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The Alchemist posted:Change your locale to anywhere but The United States of America. Literally anywhere else. yes, easy to do
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Jun 4, 2022 01:34
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locally sourced artisinal thoughts and prayers
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Jun 4, 2022 01:38
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These feeble christian thoughts and prayers aren't keeping up with the modern day advanced fire arm technology. Perhaps it's time to up the spiritual game and convert into something with more mana.
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Jun 4, 2022 01:40
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Have all the local police come to the white house and perform the singing cops!
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Jun 4, 2022 01:44
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sb hermit posted:locally sourced artisinal thoughts and prayers Gluten free. Non GMO. Organic. incredibly not vegan
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Jun 4, 2022 01:49
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nuke a city every week until the shootings stop
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Jun 4, 2022 02:05
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Homocow posted:nuke a city every week until the shootings stop Dallas first, I don't even care if I'm downwind
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Jun 4, 2022 02:06
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In the event of a shooting everyone in the room goes back-to-back with their own guns like a giant ballistic starfish, then start spinning around firing full auto Unless the shooter is really good at bullet hell games they'll never be able to avoid the lead wall in time
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Jun 4, 2022 02:12
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has anyone said kill whitey yet? I think this might fix a lot of other problems too.
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Jun 4, 2022 02:19
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move our entire civilization under the ocean
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Jun 4, 2022 02:21
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Replace desks with earthquake beds linked to sensors that detect school shootings. https://mobile.twitter.com/Yahoo/status/1092563367955496960
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Jun 4, 2022 02:35
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Ukuleles are banned I don't know why but I feel like it would help a lot, and it's something that can be done right now
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Jun 4, 2022 02:35
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Comfy Fleece Sweater posted:Ukuleles are banned alternatively, engineer them to render critical hits on impact, but all damage is nonlethal. Make them somehow aerodynamic and easy to throw accurately people would be much more likely to wield an effective weapon if there's a reasonable belief that no one will die if they make a mistake.
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Jun 4, 2022 02:46
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RDM posted:Replace desks with earthquake beds linked to sensors that detect school shootings. I can see this being useful in florida with its collapsing towers but I would be very surprised if it got any buyers in California
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Jun 4, 2022 02:47
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tetsuo posted:has anyone said kill whitey yet? Can we PLEASE have a colour chart or something so I know how long I have to lay by the pool?
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Jun 4, 2022 03:19
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sb hermit posted:I can see this being useful in florida with its collapsing towers but I would be very surprised if it got any buyers in California Having a bed that turns into a steel coffin while you fall 50 stories would be a pro-purchase for a Floridian high-rise condo owner
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Jun 4, 2022 06:27
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Colonel Cancer posted:These feeble christian thoughts and prayers aren't keeping up with the modern day advanced fire arm technology. Perhaps it's time to up the spiritual game and convert into something with more mana. Inscribe necromantic sigils in every classroom, each shooting provides energy to defend against the next. No sense in letting all that innocent blood go to waste!
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Jun 4, 2022 07:04
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how can we industrialize prayer production?
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Jun 4, 2022 07:08
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Methanar posted:how can we industrialize prayer production? it already is, hundreds of times over considering actual production in this trashhole
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Jun 4, 2022 07:09
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Homocow posted:nuke a city every week until the shootings stop I've come around to the idea that accelerationism is probably not a good idea, but maybe we could start with small versions. As a Nukes obviously have too many problems, so we could just start with conventional bombs on the small towns where the crazies grew up and work up from there. I'm not sure this would work. Could be interesting though. For science.
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Jun 4, 2022 07:36
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Give me $10,000,000.
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Jun 4, 2022 07:53
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https://www.axon.com/news/technology/how-non-lethal-armed-drones-can-help-address-school-shootingsquote:HOW NON-LETHAL ARMED DRONES CAN HELP ADDRESS SCHOOL SHOOTINGS
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Jun 4, 2022 10:12
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Teach children to not react when their classmates are being shot, if the school shooter doesn't get a reaction he'll just get bored and stop. The real problem is the active shooter training we're currently teaching.
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Jun 4, 2022 11:11
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We should implement a crypto based token system to use the hallways and have armed students patrol the hallways. If you have the token you can live, if you are found without a token you’re killed on the spot. Also the toilets and bathroom doors won’t work unless you own the token. This I’ll cut down on shenanigans in the bathroom like vaping, drugs, or forming gangs.
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Jun 4, 2022 11:21
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