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The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > itt suggest local solutions to reduce the number of mass shootings
 
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Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
Don't believe it happens.

If someone says to you "12 kids got shot at Disneyland today" just say "No they didn't."

If they say "but it's all over the news." just say "No it's not."

If they say "You're crazy. Look, here's video some tourist shot on their phone on Youtube." just slap the phone out of their hand, scream "Get away from me!" and then run into the woods to hide for a few days.

You are the master of your own mind.

* # ¿ May 28, 2022 12:44
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# ¿ May 18, 2024 01:11
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Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
Instead of sending children to school to get an education send a rag-tag team of combat experts, each specializing in a different lethal art.

* # ¿ May 28, 2022 17:17
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Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
Gather our top scientific minds together and get them to figure out which God/s are real. Then pray like crazy.

* # ¿ May 28, 2022 18:22
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Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
Use wildly anatomically inaccurate targets at gun ranges so that shooters have it all wrong.

* # ¿ May 28, 2022 18:58
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Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
Make it a crime to possess or sell any kind of firearm. A war on guns, if you will. What will we fight this war with? Terror, drugs, and poverty.

* # ¿ May 29, 2022 12:05
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Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
Uninstall the Killable Children mod.

* # ¿ May 30, 2022 01:21
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Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
Figure out which kids are potential school shooters by having their crush pass them a note in class that says: Would you shoot me? Yes [ ] No [ ] Maybe [ ]

* # ¿ May 31, 2022 03:54
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Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
Drake bad: School shootings

Drake good: Cool shootings

* # ¿ May 31, 2022 13:45
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Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
Make hide and seek part of the core curriculum.

* # ¿ Jun 1, 2022 07:30
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Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
Devalue human life enough so that it feels like there are fewer shootings. :shrug:

* # ¿ Jun 1, 2022 12:30
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Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
Just give up and sob patiently until it's your turn to be shot.

* # ¿ Jun 4, 2022 01:33
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Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
Give me $10,000,000.

* # ¿ Jun 4, 2022 07:53
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Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
Cryogenically freeze our kids and thaw them out once we've figured this whole thing out.

* # ¿ Jun 4, 2022 11:35
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Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
Pick our kids up from school early that day.

* # ¿ Jun 4, 2022 13:13
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# ¿ May 18, 2024 01:11
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Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
Teach our children the secret Thousand Fists of Fei-Lang technique.

* # ¿ Jun 16, 2022 09:57
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The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > itt suggest local solutions to reduce the number of mass shootings