swedish people don't feed their dang guests megathread

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Heather Papps: hello friend

*visiting a swedish church and attempting to take communion*
"oh you want some of MY bread and wine? lemme just write out a bill"

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Jun 1, 2022 18:54

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# ? May 10, 2024 07:15

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

in sweden, if your bro offers you a hit, he's gonna expect you to repay for 50% of that bowl

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# ? Jun 1, 2022 18:54

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

Heather Papps posted:

*visiting a swedish church and attempting to take communion*
"oh you want some of MY bread and wine? lemme just write out a bill"

the priest is going to get all sorts of stressed out, b/c you didn't bring your own bread

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# ? Jun 1, 2022 18:56

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

"i'm running a church here, not a charity!"
-swedish priest

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# ? Jun 1, 2022 18:57

Literally A Person: Smugworth Wuz Here

Me, a Swedish: Yes, this is an Ikea and those meatballs will be $6.50, Slim.

# ? Jun 1, 2022 19:10

Trying

Secret origin of the term "blue balls"

# ? Jun 1, 2022 19:16

Finger Prince

Heather Papps posted:

*visiting a swedish church and attempting to take communion*
"oh you want some of MY bread and wine? lemme just write out a bill"

This was the real reason Christianity was enthusiastically adopted in Scandinavia.
Swedish dude: "wait, let's get this straight. Jesus invites us into his home, which is this church..."
Christian missionary: "yes, my child..."
SD: "and he provides bread and wine"
CM: "holy communion, yes."
SD: "sold"
(or, alternatively, if it isn't enthusiastically adopted)
SD: "that sounds extremely sus. Literally nobody does that".

# ? Jun 1, 2022 19:25

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

Finger Prince posted:

This was the real reason Christianity was enthusiastically adopted in Scandinavia.
Swedish dude: "wait, let's get this straight. Jesus invites us into his home, which is this church..."
Christian missionary: "yes, my child..."
SD: "and he provides bread and wine"
CM: "holy communion, yes."
SD: "sold"
(or, alternatively, if it isn't enthusiastically adopted)
SD: "that sounds extremely sus. Literally nobody does that".

"i'm fully prepared to believe that god died on the cross for our sins, what i'm more concerned about is him feeding 5000 people for some reason"

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# ? Jun 1, 2022 19:32

Finger Prince

The miracle of the loaves and fishes wasn't even considered a miracle until the Swedes got wind of it.

# ? Jun 1, 2022 19:37

Heather Papps: hello friend

Nosfereefer posted:

"i'm fully prepared to believe that god died on the cross for our sins, what i'm more concerned about is him feeding 5000 people for some reason"

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Jun 1, 2022 19:38

gleebster: Only a howler

Nosfereefer posted:

swedish jesus would expect his disciples to bring their own wine

Well, I brought some water. Couldn't you, uh, you know.

# ? Jun 1, 2022 19:42

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gleebster posted:

Well, I brought some water. Couldn't you, uh, you know.

swedish jesus would still charge you for that, also make you feel like a douche for asking

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# ? Jun 1, 2022 19:53

Literally A Person: Smugworth Wuz Here

Nosfereefer posted:

swedish jesus would still charge you for that, also make you feel like a douche for asking

...stingy rear end Lord

# ? Jun 1, 2022 20:45

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

Literally A Person posted:

...stingy rear end Lord

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# ? Jun 1, 2022 21:19

google THIS

I believe that the Japanese fully wait on their guests and don't eat anything themselves while serving so that would be double awkward regardless of who hosted

# ? Jun 1, 2022 21:21

google THIS

Nosfereefer posted:

"i'm fully prepared to believe that god died on the cross for our sins, what i'm more concerned about is him feeding 5000 people for some reason"

Swedish Jesus intentionally makes surstr�mming to feed the 5000 and they're like no thanks and he's like fine, more for me

Actually maybe that legit is the reason why they eat rotten fish

# ? Jun 1, 2022 21:28

Pahilla the Hun: Thinking about making a post

Think about it, make a post

gleebster posted:

Well, I brought some water. Couldn't you, uh, you know.

Also...can ya do anything with this oregano?

thanks nesamdoom!!

pizzaz plarpin perfect! thanks Tebulot!

# ? Jun 1, 2022 21:56

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

google THIS posted:

Swedish Jesus intentionally makes surstr�mming to feed the 5000 and they're like no thanks and he's like fine, more for me

Actually maybe that legit is the reason why they eat rotten fish

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# ? Jun 2, 2022 13:35

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

Swedish phishing only works on family members.

# ? Jun 2, 2022 14:04

How Wonderful!: I only have excellent ideas

If I go to Sweden and act all tender at the Swedes I bet they would give me some food. I think you all aren't trying hard enough. I'd say "Please feed me. I love you. Let's eat." I'd really turn on the charm.

-sig by Manifisto! goblin by Khanstant! News and possum by deep dish peat moss!

# ? Jun 5, 2022 05:56

Literally A Person: Smugworth Wuz Here

What is charm to a Swede? Like snow in the fjord.

# ? Jun 5, 2022 06:01

Mr. Sunshine: This is a scrunt that has been in space too long and become a Lunt (Long Scrunt)

In Sweden, if a child who is not related by blood asks you for food, you are legally mandated to sell them into thralldom where they will be raised to become backup dancers at eurovision.

# ? Jun 5, 2022 09:35

Heather Papps: hello friend

is there some curse you get if you accidentally feed a troll or elf? like they get to keep your house and wife or something?

swedes i am TRYING to understand you

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Jun 5, 2022 16:36

cruft

Nosfereefer posted:

imagine a land where rotten fish is the only source of flavour. then imagine that land got heinz ketchup

# ? Jun 5, 2022 17:49

Mr. Sunshine: This is a scrunt that has been in space too long and become a Lunt (Long Scrunt)

In Sweden we have no restaurants, because the idea of strange people eating in our presence makes us physically ill.

# ? Jun 5, 2022 19:38

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

People visiting Sweden would be advised to fill their cheek pouches with enough reserve food to last the duration of their trip.

# ? Jun 5, 2022 19:43

Mr. Sunshine: This is a scrunt that has been in space too long and become a Lunt (Long Scrunt)

Heather Papps posted:

is there some curse you get if you accidentally feed a troll or elf? like they get to keep your house and wife or something?

swedes i am TRYING to understand you

In Sweden, if you accidentally feed a stranger, the police will come and look at you disapprovingly. That's sort of like a curse.

# ? Jun 5, 2022 20:31

Finger Prince

Mr. Sunshine posted:

In Sweden, if you accidentally feed a stranger, the police will come and look at you disapprovingly. That's sort of like a curse.

They actually come and remove the offending guest.

# ? Jun 5, 2022 21:49

Finger Prince

Hëllø, Polis? My cousin Anders is visiting from Dånmark, and I believe he is wanting us to feed him. No. Yes. Yes we tried offering him some ketchup spaghetti, but he didn't seem to get the hint. Ok. Please hurry.

# ? Jun 5, 2022 21:56

Finger Prince

To us in North America, the Swedish prison system looks very progressive. Little do we realize that to the Swede, it is the height of psychological torture, because while you're staying there, they feed you.

# ? Jun 5, 2022 22:00

Mr. Sunshine: This is a scrunt that has been in space too long and become a Lunt (Long Scrunt)

Finger Prince posted:

Hëllø, Polis? My cousin Anders is visiting from Dånmark, and I believe he is wanting us to feed him. No. Yes. Yes we tried offering him some ketchup spaghetti, but he didn't seem to get the hint. Ok. Please hurry.

A swede would never allow a dane into their house. We know it is merely a ruse by the perfidious dane to recapture the �lvsborg fortress.

# ? Jun 5, 2022 22:29

Manifisto

the traditional sm�rg�sbord is extremely popular with swedish hosts, as it allows them to not serve a variety of hot and cold dishes to their guests, as opposed to not serving only a simple meal

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Jun 5, 2022 22:31

google THIS

It was just after dark when we heard it. A clattering of dishes, the report of a blunderbuss, and at length, the stampeding of many feet. The wind was blowing, so we couldn't hear the voices at first. After a few moments a line of chef's toques began to move down the village's main thoroughfare, bobbing like ghosts in the moonlight. Somewhere in their midst was the unlucky guest who had asked for food. As they approached the chanting finally became audible, like a flock of angry birds. By the time the mob passed in front of our house it was deafening. "Bork bork bork!" they cried, swinging their cleavers and ladles wildly as they carried their victim off to his doom. We bolted our shutters as they reached the outskirts and prayed that the wind would pick up enough to drown out the screams.

# ? Jun 5, 2022 22:42

Manifisto

google THIS posted:

It was just after dark when we heard it. A clattering of dishes, the report of a blunderbuss, and at length, the stampeding of many feet. The wind was blowing, so we couldn't hear the voices at first. After a few moments a line of chef's toques began to move down the village's main thoroughfare, bobbing like ghosts in the moonlight. Somewhere in their midst was the unlucky guest who had asked for food. As they approached the chanting finally became audible, like a flock of angry birds. By the time the mob passed in front of our house it was deafening. "Bork bork bork!" they cried, swinging their cleavers and ladles wildly as they carried their victim off to his doom. We bolted our shutters as they reached the outskirts and prayed that the wind would pick up enough to drown out the screams.

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Jun 5, 2022 23:06

Mr. Sunshine: This is a scrunt that has been in space too long and become a Lunt (Long Scrunt)

As a swede, if someone I am not intimatly familiar with asks "what's for dinner" I will just straight up murder them.

# ? Jun 5, 2022 23:45

Heather Papps: hello friend

been aiming for a culture victory with sweden in civ, you just have to refuse trade with other nations then nuke all their farms.

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Jun 6, 2022 01:04

xcheopis

google THIS posted:

It was just after dark when we heard it. A clattering of dishes, the report of a blunderbuss, and at length, the stampeding of many feet. The wind was blowing, so we couldn't hear the voices at first. After a few moments a line of chef's toques began to move down the village's main thoroughfare, bobbing like ghosts in the moonlight. Somewhere in their midst was the unlucky guest who had asked for food. As they approached the chanting finally became audible, like a flock of angry birds. By the time the mob passed in front of our house it was deafening. "Bork bork bork!" they cried, swinging their cleavers and ladles wildly as they carried their victim off to his doom. We bolted our shutters as they reached the outskirts and prayed that the wind would pick up enough to drown out the screams.

Everywhere, everyone is red and green
I gotta lust for glory and a tape machine
I'm living out Frank Coppola's dreams
Outta my mind, I'm feelin' mean

# ? Jun 6, 2022 01:37

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Still horrified by ketchup spaghetti

# ? Jun 6, 2022 07:41

Mr. Sunshine: This is a scrunt that has been in space too long and become a Lunt (Long Scrunt)

I'm sorry we can't afford that fancy mustard spaghetti you eat in the southern lands.

# ? Jun 6, 2022 08:01

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# ? May 10, 2024 07:15

Finger Prince

Somewhere, in some godforsaken land, someone is putting relish on pasta and calling it pesto because it's green.

# ? Jun 6, 2022 09:03

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > swedish people don't feed their dang guests megathread

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