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Deteriorata
Feb 6, 2005

Xiahou Dun posted:

I want to get ahead of something before it's too late.

I know Dozy Don and Don Snore-leone are out there, and one of them is actually pretty good, but we really can't forget to call him "Mussosleepy".

The Nodfather

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Tesseraction
Apr 5, 2009

Zzzyklon D

SpelledBackwards
Jan 7, 2001

I found this image on the Internet, perhaps you've heard of it? It's been around for a while I hear.

Velocity Raptor posted:

Jesus, I feel like anyone could be a successful prosecutor against Trump.

Prosecutor: "You are alleged to have done this very serious crime that could result in sever punishment. Also, you did it in a very stupid way."

Trump, during a press conference just after court: "What I did wasn't stupid. It was the best version of that crime. It was perfect. Criminals would wish they could do that crime like I did."
Trump supporters will probably say things like "he wasn't under oath in the press conference! He can say whatever he wants and it's just words! Remember a little thing called the First Amendment?"

The Islamic Shock
Apr 8, 2021

SpelledBackwards posted:

Trump supporters will probably say things like "he wasn't under oath in the press conference! He can say whatever he wants and it's just words! Remember a little thing called the First Amendment?"
Well yeah, if you could convince Trump supporters that words can be evidence of crimes against their golden boy, they wouldn't be like that in the first place

Sarcastro
Dec 28, 2000
Elite member of the Grammar Nazi Squad that

Slo-Tek posted:

One of my jury pools for a DUI had this Brooks Brothers looking dork in the pool, called his number, and I think the prosecution stated rather than inquired "You are a lawyer". Potential juror said "Yes, but I work in corporate tax law". Defense and prosecution both "Get Out."

Not intending to revive jurychat, but I loved this anecdote not for the idea that he was rejected immediately because he was a lawyer, or a corporate tax lawyer, but because with that pedigree he 100% without a doubt had done a DUI many times before.

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

Oh no, the photo sequence as he is booked into jail and forced to wear jail clothes is very important.

Do they still shave prisoners' heads to reduce lice? That's what I want - finally, a look at his actual hairline.

cr0y
Mar 24, 2005



Dozin' Donald

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound

Sarcastro posted:

Do they still shave prisoners' heads to reduce lice? That's what I want - finally, a look at his actual hairline.

In my state they only do that if you are going into the department of corrections (prison) which requires a sentence of more than 90 days. Otherwise you are just in county jail and they don't shear you.

Tenkaris
Feb 10, 2006

I would really prefer if you would be quiet.

Xiahou Dun posted:

I want to get ahead of something before it's too late.

I know Dozy Don and Don Snore-leone are out there, and one of them is actually pretty good, but we really can't forget to call him "Mussosleepy".

Cheeto Benito MeSoSleepy

dpkg chopra
Jun 9, 2007

Fast Food Fight

Grimey Drawer
Enter Sadman

zoux
Apr 28, 2006

https://twitter.com/Acyn/status/1780406708617048336

Witness tampering is constitutional.

48 Hour Boner
May 26, 2005

I think something's wrong with this thing
Snore-me Doniels

SithDrummer
Jun 8, 2005
Hi Rocky!
The Dirty Dozin'

cr0y
Mar 24, 2005



48 Hour Boner posted:

Snore-me Doniels

Staluigi
Jun 22, 2021


having this guy as a client got to take five years off your life minimum

SpelledBackwards
Jan 7, 2001

I found this image on the Internet, perhaps you've heard of it? It's been around for a while I hear.

Basket of De-snoreables

Donkringel
Apr 22, 2008

Sarcastro posted:

Not intending to revive jurychat, but I loved this anecdote not for the idea that he was rejected immediately because he was a lawyer, or a corporate tax lawyer, but because with that pedigree he 100% without a doubt had done a DUI many times before.

Do they still shave prisoners' heads to reduce lice? That's what I want - finally, a look at his actual hairline.

The Preet Bharara podcast had an episode last week with Joyce Vance and Mimi Rocah called "The Art of Jury Selection". When they were talking about disqualification of jurors Joyce mentioned that her office had a habit of disqualifying astrophysicists (apparently there was a large number of them in the district she was in).

She explained that the science types were usually very exacting in a 2+2 must equal 4 which you couldn't always show in the evidence, so those jurors would usually vote to acquit. It boggled me when I first heard it, though I appreciated her candor in explanation.

Xiahou Dun
Jul 16, 2009

We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.



Napolae Ceaușesnooze.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

I have been Super Busy for the last two months and not had time to follow Trump's legal woes as closely as I would like. I THOUGHT the only case with a risk of prison before the election was the one in Florida with an obviously biased judge who was going to push things back to after the election.

It looks like the New York case, which is also a criminal case, is now half done with jury selection? Did I misunderstand the situation or has the situation changed? If jury selection is halfway done now won't the trial likely be finished long before the election, possibly resulting in prison for Trump before the election?

Pikavangelist
Nov 9, 2016

There is no God but Arceus
And Pikachu is His prophet



Donkringel posted:

The Preet Bharara podcast had an episode last week with Joyce Vance and Mimi Rocah called "The Art of Jury Selection". When they were talking about disqualification of jurors Joyce mentioned that her office had a habit of disqualifying astrophysicists (apparently there was a large number of them in the district she was in).

She explained that the science types were usually very exacting in a 2+2 must equal 4 which you couldn't always show in the evidence, so those jurors would usually vote to acquit. It boggled me when I first heard it, though I appreciated her candor in explanation.

I once attended a talk by Neil deGrasse Tyson (back before he lost his loving mind) where he mentioned being dismissed from jury duty because he asked why the prosecution was using a particular unit of measurement for a drug charge. I think it was something like referring to 10,000 milligrams instead of 10 grams.

jarlywarly
Aug 31, 2018
Was it a case of using a smaller measurement bigger number to mislead the jury into thinking the quantities were large. Cos it sure sounds like it.

Velocity Raptor
Jul 27, 2007

I MADE A PROMISE
I'LL DO ANYTHING

Pikavangelist posted:

I once attended a talk by Neil deGrasse Tyson (back before he lost his loving mind) where he mentioned being dismissed from jury duty because he asked why the prosecution was using a particular unit of measurement for a drug charge. I think it was something like referring to 10,000 milligrams instead of 10 grams.

Apparently he's been rejected multiple times for jury duty. Here's a clip about witness testimony.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRLj7bBCgI4

E: Found a clip of what you're referring to.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Y-lqO1dnX4&t=212s

Velocity Raptor fucked around with this message at 15:47 on Apr 17, 2024

Sarcastro
Dec 28, 2000
Elite member of the Grammar Nazi Squad that

Donkringel posted:

The Preet Bharara podcast had an episode last week with Joyce Vance and Mimi Rocah called "The Art of Jury Selection". When they were talking about disqualification of jurors Joyce mentioned that her office had a habit of disqualifying astrophysicists (apparently there was a large number of them in the district she was in).

She explained that the science types were usually very exacting in a 2+2 must equal 4 which you couldn't always show in the evidence, so those jurors would usually vote to acquit. It boggled me when I first heard it, though I appreciated her candor in explanation.

That is interesting, and it makes sense - they'd be the type to forget that part of "beyond a reasonable doubt" is "reasonable."

Xiahou Dun
Jul 16, 2009

We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.



Diogines posted:

I have been Super Busy for the last two months and not had time to follow Trump's legal woes as closely as I would like. I THOUGHT the only case with a risk of prison before the election was the one in Florida with an obviously biased judge who was going to push things back to after the election.

It looks like the New York case, which is also a criminal case, is now half done with jury selection? Did I misunderstand the situation or has the situation changed? If jury selection is halfway done now won't the trial likely be finished long before the election, possibly resulting in prison for Trump before the election?

No, all of your assumptions are wrong.

He has 4 criminal cases : the NY state hush-money trial, the federal trial in Florida for the documents, the federal trial in DC for conspiracy to gently caress with the election and the Georgia state RICO. In theory all of these can have prison time, but :shrug: who knows.

The NY trial is happening now (obviously) ; the trial in DC is on hold because the Supreme Court wants to decide if Presidents are immune to criminal prosecution (oral arguments next week) ; Florida is dragging because the judge is a chud so that's taking forever ; Georgia is a big long complicated thing and who knows when that's gonna happen.

He's unlikely to see prison for the NY charges because he's somehow a first-time offender, but we'll see. His chances of being in prison before the election are quite low, just barely above "technically extant".

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

Thank you for your explanation, it is appreciated.

Cimber
Feb 3, 2014

Xiahou Dun posted:

No, all of your assumptions are wrong.

He has 4 criminal cases : the NY state hush-money trial, the federal trial in Florida for the documents, the federal trial in DC for conspiracy to gently caress with the election and the Georgia state RICO. In theory all of these can have prison time, but :shrug: who knows.

The NY trial is happening now (obviously) ; the trial in DC is on hold because the Supreme Court wants to decide if Presidents are immune to criminal prosecution (oral arguments next week) ; Florida is dragging because the judge is a chud so that's taking forever ; Georgia is a big long complicated thing and who knows when that's gonna happen.

He's unlikely to see prison for the NY charges because he's somehow a first-time offender, but we'll see. His chances of being in prison before the election are quite low, just barely above "technically extant".

I wonder though if he gets probation in the NY case, will he be allowed out of state? I'd love to see him get community service + probation for a few years. Pictures of him picking up garbage on the side of the Grand Central Expressway would be priceless.

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound

Diogines posted:

I have been Super Busy for the last two months and not had time to follow Trump's legal woes as closely as I would like. I THOUGHT the only case with a risk of prison before the election was the one in Florida with an obviously biased judge who was going to push things back to after the election.

It looks like the New York case, which is also a criminal case, is now half done with jury selection? Did I misunderstand the situation or has the situation changed? If jury selection is halfway done now won't the trial likely be finished long before the election, possibly resulting in prison for Trump before the election?

The charges in the NY case are relatively minor felonies and Trump has no prior criminal record. Assuming donny wriggles is convicted, a jail sentence is possible but not particularly likely.

Hobologist
May 4, 2007

We'll have one entire section labelled "for degenerates"
Also, don't forget about the appeal in the New York case, which could take several more months during which he is likely to remain free in any event.

Clarste
Apr 15, 2013

Just how many mistakes have you suffered on the way here?

An uncountable number, to be sure.

Donkringel posted:

The Preet Bharara podcast had an episode last week with Joyce Vance and Mimi Rocah called "The Art of Jury Selection". When they were talking about disqualification of jurors Joyce mentioned that her office had a habit of disqualifying astrophysicists (apparently there was a large number of them in the district she was in).

She explained that the science types were usually very exacting in a 2+2 must equal 4 which you couldn't always show in the evidence, so those jurors would usually vote to acquit. It boggled me when I first heard it, though I appreciated her candor in explanation.

They also famously like to disqualify anyone who's been to law school. In general, no lawyer wants to have to deal with a juror who thinks they're smarter than you.

Clarste fucked around with this message at 16:29 on Apr 17, 2024

Tesseraction
Apr 5, 2009


Ah yes the Dunning-Juror.

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound

Hobologist posted:

Also, don't forget about the appeal in the New York case, which could take several more months during which he is likely to remain free in any event.

It's actually extraordinarily rare for criminal defendants to be allowed to remain free pending appeal. It's theoretically possible because Donny Wriggles but . . .I mean vanishingly rare, "the defendant is about to be pardoned anyway" rare.

Xiahou Dun
Jul 16, 2009

We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.



Hieronymous Alloy posted:

It's actually extraordinarily rare for criminal defendants to be allowed to remain free pending appeal. It's theoretically possible because Donny Wriggles but . . .I mean vanishingly rare, "the defendant is about to be pardoned anyway" rare.

Yeah but that’s the civil appeal.

mutata
Mar 1, 2003

Xiahou Dun posted:

Yeah but that’s the civil appeal.

I think they're saying if Trump was convicted in the NY hush money case, then THAT appeal would make that case technically last even longer, etc.

Belteshazzar
Oct 4, 2004

我が生涯に
一片の悔い無し

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

It's actually extraordinarily rare for criminal defendants to be allowed to remain free pending appeal. It's theoretically possible because Donny Wriggles but . . .I mean vanishingly rare, "the defendant is about to be pardoned anyway" rare.

Somehow, Steve Bannon managed it....

gregday
May 23, 2003

I want a conviction in this Bragg case if for no other reason than it would count as a criminal record, and as his subsequent trials play out, he will have a growing criminal history that could affect sentencing.

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound

mutata posted:

I think they're saying if Trump was convicted in the NY hush money case, then THAT appeal would make that case technically last even longer, etc.

Oh I thought they meant the current NY criminal case.

Murgos
Oct 21, 2010

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

The charges in the NY case are relatively minor felonies and Trump has no prior criminal record. Assuming donny wriggles is convicted, a jail sentence is possible but not particularly likely.

Roger Parloff of lawfare, whose analysis is usually pretty good, claims to have gone through the sentencing guidelines and similar cases (such as they are) and thinks the minimum sentence is actually likely up around one and a third years.

Merchan obviously has no love for Trump so I don’t particularly see him offering up a significant downward departure out of the kindness of his heart.

Lammasu
May 8, 2019

lawful Good Monster

Belteshazzar posted:

Somehow, Steve Bannon managed it....

Is the ditch he sleeps in really any better than prison?

Blotto_Otter
Aug 16, 2013


Jean-Paul Shartre posted:

Correct answer to the wrong question. Chubb’s collateral for the Carroll bond was reportedly Trump’s Schwab brokerage account. I doubt this is the same account, nobody would consider an already pledged account realisable collateral, but who tf knows with all the stupid poo poo that’s been going on with this one.

was the exact nature of the collateral for that bond ever made public? I was under the impression that the Chubb bond's collateral was not public record, and the only reason we have this amount of insight into the Knight bond is because Trump's lawyers are having to make additional filings to try and convince the court to accept a bond that does not actually meet the stated requirements for such a bond

that said, guys like trump usually have multiple brokerage accounts, it'd be entirely normal for him to have multiple accounts. I'd be very surprised if this particular account for the Knight bond were also used as Chubb bond collateral, because I would expect Chubb to have firm control over any account pledged as collateral (or for Chubb to take possession of the collateral themselves), and this account clearly is not under Chubb's control. I do think something looks really goofy here and they may be up to some hijinks, i just don't think it's likely that they're pulling that particular scam.

OgNar
Oct 26, 2002

They tapdance not, neither do they fart
Dont think the sketch has been posted yet


https://twitter.com/WUTangKids/status/1780372840102899804

e: also
https://twitter.com/WUTangKids/status/1780034352249815482

OgNar fucked around with this message at 18:05 on Apr 17, 2024

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Nuclear Spoon
Aug 18, 2010

I want to cry out
but I don’t scream and I don’t shout
And I feel so proud
to be alive
he looks exactly like the guy from the "more money for us, gently caress you" cartoon

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