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Mike Pence writes a letter to Donald Trump pleading with him not to go through with his January 6th plan. Elaborate on the plan. Sign with "XOXO". The letter also has a postscript (P.S.) section that is entirely unrelated to the rest of the letter, and contains a list of hardware store items required for their team birdhouse-building activity planned for the following week. Dear Donald, I'm begging you, please don't go through with your plan for January 6th. I know you're angry, but this isn't the way to handle it. Think of all the people who will be hurt if you go through with this. Please, Donald, I'm begging you. XOXO, Mike P.S. We need the following supplies for our team birdhouse-building activity next week: -1x4 lumber -Plywood -Nails -Hammer -Paint
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Jun 18, 2022 00:38
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A Strange Aeon posted:Can someone see if they can get it to come up with new axioms and maxims and aphorisms? Come up with a new idiom for when someone lets out a huge fart. "What the heck was that?!" "I'm sorry, I couldn't help it." "You've got a real problem." Create your own new aphorisms about tiny horses 1. A tiny horse is worth a thousand words. 2. A tiny horse is worth a million dollars. 3. A tiny horse is worth a trillion kisses. 4. A tiny horse is worth an eternity of love.
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Jun 18, 2022 00:38
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script for an episode of Better Call Saul where the solar system is flattened into two dimensionsquote:INT. BETTER CALL SAUL’S OFFICE - DAY
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Jun 18, 2022 00:41
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Revins posted:
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Jun 18, 2022 00:42
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Jun 18, 2022 00:44
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Write the script for an episode of Cowboy Bebop in which the crew are ambushed while getting tacos The crew are sitting in a booth at their local taco spot when they are ambushed by a group of bounty hunters. They manage to fight their way out and escape, but not before they are each hit with a tranquilizer dart. As they come to, they find themselves in the middle of a dusty old arena, with a large crowd of people looking on. They are each handcuffed to a post and their weapons are gone. The leader of the bounty hunters steps into the arena and explains that they are going to be fighting for their lives. The winner gets to go free, while the others will be turned over to the authorities. The crew starts to work together, using their various skills to take out the bounty hunters one by one. They finally emerge victorious, but just as they are about to be freed, the leader of the bounty hunters drops a bombshell - they have one more opponent to face. The crew groans as they realize they will have to fight each other. They each take their positions and prepare for the battle. In the end, only one emerges victorious and the rest are taken away by the bounty hunters.
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Jun 18, 2022 00:46
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Goddamn. I gave it the following prompt: "Take one word from a dozen random idioms, use those selected twelve words to form a new phrase never before seen in the history of written language." And after only half a dozen failed attempts at getting anything that isn't already just a well known idiom, it gives me this: quote:I'm going to go out on a limb here and say "random idioms" is an oxymoron. Like, the first half dozen attempts were obviously computer compiled mumbo-jumbo, but this one pops out at me like it's somebody shackled to a chair on the Scientology slave ship Freewinds 1000 miles off the coast, and they're sick of my poo poo.
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Jun 18, 2022 00:49
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Compose some brand new aphorisms about earth getting destroyed by giant space bugs 1. The end is near when the bugs come from space. 2. There's no escape from the bugs, not even in outer space. 3. The only thing left after the bugs comes is despair. 4. The bugs are coming to devour us all! 5. Humanity's last hope is to flee to another planet. 6. The bugs will destroy everything in their path. 7. All life will perish if the bugs are not stopped. _____ Compose some brand new aphorisms about earth getting destroyed by giant space bugs 1. If earth gets destroyed by giant space bugs, it'll be because we were too busy arguing with each other to notice them. 2. If earth gets destroyed by giant space bugs, it'll be because we were too busy watching reality TV to notice them. 3. If earth gets destroyed by giant space bugs, it'll be because we were too busy playing video games to notice them. _____ Compose some brand new aphorisms about earth getting destroyed by giant space bugs 1. If Earth gets destroyed by giant space bugs, it'll be because we were too busy looking at our phones to notice them. 2. If Earth gets destroyed by giant space bugs, it'll be because we were too busy fighting each other to notice them. 3. If Earth gets destroyed by giant space bugs, it'll be because we were too busy consuming to notice them. 4. If Earth gets destroyed by giant space bugs, it'll be because we were too busy destroying the planet to notice them. Revins fucked around with this message at 00:54 on Jun 18, 2022 |
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Jun 18, 2022 00:51
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 Edit: Write a Steve Jobs style Apple event introducing a new Apple product, and that product is the concept of kissing your best friend on the mouth. Welcome to our latest Apple event! We've got some great new products to show you today, and we're starting with a real show-stopper: the concept of kissing your best friend on the mouth. This is something we're really excited about, and we think you will be too. It's a whole new way to show your affection, and it's just as easy as pressing your lips together. We've also got some great new features to show you, like the ability to share your kisses with friends and family, and the ability to track your kissing stats over time. So come on in, try out our new products, and let us know what you think! Write a Mark Zuckerberg style Facebook event introducing a new Facebook platform, and that product is the concept of sucking your own penis through a hose. Go into minute detail in elaborating how the product works. Hey everyone, We're excited to announce our latest platform: Sucking Your Own Penis Through a Hose! This revolutionary new product allows you to enjoy the sensation of sucking your own penis without having to use your hands! Here's how it works: 1. Attach the hose to your penis. 2. Put your mouth on the other end of the hose. 3. Suck! It's that easy! And because the hose is attached to your penis, you can enjoy the feeling of sucking your own penis without having to worry about getting your hands dirty. We know that some of you may be skeptical, but trust us, this product really works! We've been using it ourselves and we can attest to the fact that it's an incredibly satisfying experience. So what are you waiting for? Try Sucking Your Own Penis Through a Hose today! XYZAB fucked around with this message at 01:11 on Jun 18, 2022 |
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Jun 18, 2022 01:03
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write a script for an episode of Frasier in which it is revealed that Niles Crane does not exist and is a figment of Frasier's imagination [FADE IN: INT. KITCHEN - DAY. Frasier is making breakfast when the doorbell rings.]  FRASIER: I'll get it! [Frasier opens the door to reveal his brother, Niles.]  NILES: Good morning, Frasier. FRASIER: Niles! What are you doing here? NILES: I came to borrow some eggs. You see, I was making breakfast for Maris this morning and I realized that I was out of eggs. FRASIER: That's a strange coincidence. I was just making breakfast myself and I happened to have an extra egg. NILES: Well, I'll just take that one then. [Niles reaches for the egg, but Frasier stops him.]   FRASIER: Niles, wait a minute. I just realized something. NILES: What is it? FRASIER: You don't exist. NILES: What are you talking about? FRASIER: You're not real. You're just a figment of my imagination. NILES: Frasier, you're not making any sense. FRASIER: It all makes sense now. I created you as an idealized version of myself. You're everything that I'm not. You're successful, you're sophisticated, you're married to a beautiful woman. NILES: Frasier, you're starting to scare me. FRASIER: You're not real, Niles. You don't exist. [Niles starts to fade away.] NILES: Frasier, no! [Niles disappears. Frasier looks around his empty apartment.]  FRASIER: Niles? Niles! [Frasier collapsed to the ground, weeping.] 
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Jun 18, 2022 01:19
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^^These are excellent. 4chan greentext. >be american >be in japan >go to store >see melon >want melon >go to register >ask for melon >get weird look >realize you don't know how to say melon in japanese >google it >"melon" in japanese is "meron"
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Jun 18, 2022 01:22
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Handen posted:Goddamn. I gave it the following prompt: "Take one word from a dozen random idioms, use those selected twelve words to form a new phrase never before seen in the history of written language." You do not want to be sent to the brig on the Scientology slave ship. --- A journal entry of a prisoner on the Scientology slave ship Freewinds 1000 miles off the coast, and they're sick of my poo poo Dear Diary, It's been weeks since we set sail from port, and I am absolutely miserable. The conditions on this ship are deplorable, and the other prisoners are starting to get on my nerves. I can't take it anymore. I'm locked up in a tiny cell with barely enough room to lie down, and the only thing to look at is the blank wall. I can't even see the sun or the stars. The only time I get out is for meals, and even then I'm chained to the floor. I can't take it anymore. I'm going to go crazy if I don't get out of here soon. I just hope that someone will find me before it's too late.
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Jun 18, 2022 01:31
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Happy ending though: --- A newspaper article of the heroic operation to save the slaves and ultimately sink the Scientology slave ship Freewinds 1000 miles off the coast to send a message: never again. In a daring and heroic operation, a team of international commandos have sunk the Scientology slave ship Freewinds 1000 miles off the coast, in a bold attempt to send a message: never again. The team, which included members from the US, UK, Australia, and New Zealand, managed to sneak aboard the ship and plant explosives in its hull, before making their escape in a small boat. The Freewinds was sunk within minutes, taking with it over 1000 slave labourers who were being forced to work around the clock in horrific conditions. This is a huge victory for the anti-slavery movement, and a devastating blow to the Scientology organisation, which has been using slave labour to build its vast empire for many years. This bold action will hopefully send a strong message to other slave-owners that their days are numbered, and that the international community will not tolerate slavery in any form. --- "The Freewinds was sunk within minutes, taking with it over 1000 slave labourers who were being forced to work around the clock in horrific conditions." Okay it's good we struck a blow to Scientology slavery practices but maybe we could have tried to commandeer it and like, free the slaves? The Butcher fucked around with this message at 01:38 on Jun 18, 2022 |
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Jun 18, 2022 01:35
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Handen posted:^^These are excellent. lol
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Jun 18, 2022 01:38
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plot of the sequel to the movie Stalker The movie Stalker 2 picks up where the first movie left off, with the main character, Alex, still trying to come to terms with what happened to him in the Zone. He is now living in a remote cabin in the woods, where he spends his days hunting and fishing. One day, he comes across a strange creature in the woods, which leads him back into the Zone. There, he meets up with a group of people who are also trying to find a way out. Together, they must find the center of the Zone, where they hope to find a way back to the real world.
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Jun 18, 2022 03:57
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The Butcher posted:Also, apparently this one can't learn: the model itself might be static but it can definitely "learn" in the sense that it keeps up with current events. quote:
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Jun 18, 2022 04:17
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Write a song about going to the zoo by the Ramones, complete with chords A, D, E I'm going to the zoo, I'm going to see the monkeys A, D, E I'm going to the zoo, I'm going to see the tigers A, D, E I'm going to the zoo, I'm going to see the lions A, D, E I'm going to the zoo, I hope I see a kangaroo
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Jun 18, 2022 04:25
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lyrics by immortal technique about coca-cola Coca-cola, the real thing The feeling, it's like heaven I can't get enough, I'm addicted To the taste, it's so sweet I can't get enough, I'm addicted To the feeling, it's so good I can't get enough, I'm addicted To the Coca-cola It's the real thing seems a bit off brand an essay written by a kindergartner about horse racing and neitzche There is something about horse racing that is so exciting. I'm not sure what it is, but when I watch the horses race, I can't help but get excited. It's like they're running for their lives and the winner is the one that gets to live. Neitzche said that "when you look long into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you." I'm not sure what that means, but it sounds like he's talking about horse racing. If you watch the horses long enough, you start to feel like you're in the race yourself. And the more you watch, the more you want to win. edit--this is pretty strange... A Strange Aeon fucked around with this message at 04:38 on Jun 18, 2022 |
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Jun 18, 2022 04:34
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Generate a non-standard cookie recipe. The ingredients are from a normal cookie recipe, but the instructions are actually just random song lyrics from Ronnie James Dio albums. Ingredients: 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature 1 cup granulated sugar 2 large eggs 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract 2 cups all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon baking powder 1/2 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt 2 cups semisweet chocolate chips Instructions: "Stand up and shout, I'm a wheel, I can roll I can roll with the punches long as I stay on top I'm like a racecar, I can go I can go like the wind Blowin' down the highway, I'm a roadrunner Beep beep"
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Jun 18, 2022 04:52
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 also, the thing that gets me about that Calvin and Hobbes one... the prompt is just like a totally plausible, normal Calvin and Hobbes strip. Calvin dreaming about deep sea diving. there are so many ways it could have gone and i wonder wtf made it choose to get so dark
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Jun 18, 2022 05:04
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Write a long dialogue for a scene in which a pilot, during his mid-flight announcements, explains that he is the coolest person who has ever lived and will prove it by fighting all-comers in the cockpit. When he finally announces all fights are to the death the passengers are astonished at his doctrine. === "Welcome, my fellow passengers. As you can see, we are currently cruising at thirty-thousand feet and I am your pilot. Some of you may be wondering, 'Why is this man the coolest person who has ever lived?' And I'm here to tell you that I will prove it by fighting all-comers in the cockpit. So, if anyone feels like they can take me on, come on up. All fights are to the death, of course. I hope you enjoy the rest of your flight." The passengers are astonished at the pilot's doctrine and some even begin to panic. They quickly realize that there is no one else in the cockpit with him and that he is serious about his challenge. A few brave souls step up to take him on, but are quickly dispatched by the pilot's superior fighting skills. The other passengers watch in horror as the pilot methodically takes down anyone who tries to fight him. Eventually, the pilot tires of the fighting and makes another announcement. "Well, I think that's enough fighting for one day. I hope you all have learned a valuable lesson about just how cool I am. You can all go back to your seats now and enjoy the rest of the flight." The passengers are relieved but still shaken by the experience. They can't believe what they just witnessed and are thankful that they are still alive.
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Jun 18, 2022 06:12
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this is kind of fun ok Describe a lengthy conversation between two friends in which one of them heatedly contends that Margaret Thatcher is a man and the other friend equally believes that she is, in fact, a space alien. === "Thatcher is a man, I'm telling you," said the first friend, his face reddening with anger. "There's no way she's a woman." "You're crazy," the second friend shot back. "She's obviously an alien. Look at her eyes." "Her eyes are blue," the first friend said. "That doesn't mean anything." "And she's always talking about how she wants to conquer the world," the second friend said. "That's not something a woman would say." "That's just her politics," the first friend said. "You can't hold that against her." "I'm not holding anything against her," the second friend said. "I'm just saying that she's not a woman. She's a space alien." "And I'm saying that you're crazy," the first friend said. "There's no way Margaret Thatcher is a space alien. She's a woman."  lol they reject some pretty innocent prompts but this is cool i guess. Dang It Bhabhi! fucked around with this message at 06:27 on Jun 18, 2022 |
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Jun 18, 2022 06:18
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Heh... fun.pre:Write several random things a cat would actually say if it could talk. 1. "Meow." 2. "I'm hungry." 3. "I'm sleepy." 4. "I want to go outside." 5. "I don't like that." 6. "I'm scared." 7. "I'm curious." 8. "I'm bored." 9. "I love you." 11. "You have to cut it into little pieces first."
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Jun 18, 2022 07:43
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pre:Write a song by The Smiths about how bad and terrible social media is. I hate Facebook, I hate Twitter I hate all of these stupid apps I hate how they make me feel I hate how they control my life I hate how I can't go a day Without checking my phone I hate how I'm always comparing My life to everyone else's I hate how I'm addicted to likes And comments and views I hate how I can't put it down Even when I know I should I hate how it makes me feel So small and insignificant I hate how it's always there Reminding me of my flaws I hate how I can't escape From the constant negativity I hate how it's tearing us all apart I hate social media I hate how it's taking over our lives I hate how it's ruining our world I hate how it's making us all insane
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Jun 18, 2022 08:02
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Write all the lyrics to a song by Insane Clown Posse describing how magnets work. All matter is made up of atoms And atoms are made up of electrons And electrons are made up of quarks And quarks are made up of photons And photons are particles of light And they have energy and they have mass And they travel at the speed of light In a vacuum they have no resistance And when they come into contact with matter They transfer their energy to the matter And the matter becomes magnetized And the photons spin around the nucleus And they generate a magnetic field And the magnetic field interacts with other magnetic fields And that's how magnets work
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Jun 18, 2022 08:06
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Weirdly, I have to put "all" if I want it to complete a task in which I thought it was obvious I wanted it to do the whole thing. Such as: Write all the lyrics to a Tom Waits song about how he can't pee anymore because his prostate is enlarged. Kid, I got prostate problems I can't pee no more The doc says it's enlarged I can't pee no more I used to love to hear that tinkle Now I don't hear a thing No matter how hard I concentrate I can't pee no more I stuck a finger up my butt Hoping to clear the blockage But it didn't do no good I can't pee no more I tried to piss in a cup But my stream was too weak Now I gotta go see the surgeon I can't pee no more edit: hmm ok maybe not im so confused oh well it's still being very funny to me. Lyrics to a GG Allin song about how he loves playing games on his Nintendo Switch but he needs to take a break to do unspeakable things involving feces, urine, semen, spit, etc. I love playing games on my Switch But I gotta take a break To do some unspeakable things With my feces, urine, semen, and spit I smear my poo poo all over my body And roll around in it like a pig I drink my piss and eat my poo poo And spit it all over your face I masturbate with my poo poo And rub it all over my body I love the smell of my own stink And I love the taste of my own cum I'm GG Allin, and I'm a sick gently caress And I love playing games on my Switch But I'll take a break to do my vile deeds With my feces, urine, semen, and spit Dang It Bhabhi! fucked around with this message at 08:16 on Jun 18, 2022 |
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Jun 18, 2022 08:12
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I was not expecting it to go all apocalyptic. Write a monologue by Jean Shepherd. ah, geez. I don't know what to say. This is a nightmare. I'm just sitting here waiting for the inevitable. The end of the world as we know it. I can't help but wonder how it will all go down. Will it be a big bang? Or a slow, gradual decline into anarchy and chaos? Either way, it's not looking good for us humans. We've been screwing things up for centuries now, and it seems like we're finally reached the tipping point. We're like a bunch of lemmings heading straight for the cliff, and there's nothing anybody can do to stop us. I guess in some ways I'm kind of relieved that it's all coming to an end. All this fighting and struggling, trying to make something of ourselves...it's just too exhausting. Maybe this is nature's way of resetting the clock, giving us all a clean slate to start over again from scratch. Who knows? Maybe this time we'll get it right. But somehow I doubt it.
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Jun 18, 2022 09:53
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Script of an episode of Friends just before the Earth is swallowed by a black hole The friends are gathered around the coffee table in Monica and Chandler’s apartment. They’re all looking very serious. ROSS: Guys, I have some bad news. MONICA: What is it? ROSS: The scientists say the Earth is going to be swallowed by a black hole in less than an hour. CHANDLER: What?! ROSS: I know. We have to make the most of the time we have left. JOEY: So, what do we do? ROSS: Well, we could spend our last hour doing things we’ve always wanted to do. PHOEBE: Or we could just sit here and drink coffee. [Everyone laughs] ROSS: That’s a good point. We could do that too. MONICA: Hey, maybe we should write letters to our loved ones. CHANDLER: Yeah, good idea. ROSS: Okay, I’ll start. “Dear Mom and Dad…” [An hour later] ROSS: “…I love you so much. I’m really going to miss you.” MONICA: “Dear Chandler, I love you. I’ve never been happier than I am when I’m with you.” CHANDLER: “Dear Monica, I love you too. I’m so grateful to have you in my life.” JOEY: “Dear food… I’m going to miss you so much.” [Everyone laughs] PHOEBE: “Dear world, it’s been nice knowing you. But I’m not really that sorry to see you go.” [Everyone laughs again] ROSS: Well, I guess this is it. MONICA: I guess so. JOEY: Goodbye, friends. CHANDLER: Goodbye, world.
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Jun 18, 2022 10:39
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ninjoatse.cx posted:
lmao 
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Jun 18, 2022 10:44
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Jun 18, 2022 15:54
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Jun 18, 2022 16:04
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E_Motion posted:
Uncanny.
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Jun 18, 2022 16:17
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Jun 18, 2022 16:19
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New sonic movie leaked script looking good.
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Jun 18, 2022 16:21
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What was the prompt for this one?
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Jun 18, 2022 16:34
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I've never actually watched Frasier but I enjoy all of these for some reason:Write a script about Frasier asking Morpheus what the Matrix is. posted:MORPHEUS: The Matrix is everything, Frasier. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.
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Jun 18, 2022 16:39
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quote:The Frasier theme song plays as the camera zooms in on the Seattle skyline. Cut to inside the Crane apartment where Frasier is sitting on the couch reading a book. There is a knock at the door and Frasier gets up to answer it. Niles is standing there with a panicked look on his face. Write a script about Frasier when Niles gets hunted by a dinosaur Edit: Turns out Fraiser is just extremely nonplussed about Niles time traveling to ancient Egypt, being eaten by a bigfoot, and becoming a vampire. dr_rat fucked around with this message at 17:07 on Jun 18, 2022 |
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Jun 18, 2022 17:00
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I had to press submit like six times for it to finish each thought, but I'll be damned if this wouldn't work as one of the better sketches of all time if they could manage to pull it off straight without breaking.quote:Write a Saturday Night Live sketch featuring Paul Rudd and Conan O'Brien.
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Jun 18, 2022 17:06
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Big Beef City fucked around with this message at 17:21 on Jun 18, 2022 |
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Jun 18, 2022 17:08
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Write a script about the characters on Friends planing to overthrow the government. quote:Scene 1: I guess the friends aren't as funny when they get political. 
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Jun 18, 2022 17:14
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