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I got mine done in 2004, 6 months after my divorce was finalized. I did a check at 6 weeks and another check 6 months later when I got my first post divorce sexual partner. First thing nobody tells you about is they make you sit on a ground plate with conductive gel on it so your rear end gets all gooey. This is for the cauterizer (may vary with technology). My doc gave me I.V. Valium and when I asked him what it was like he said "It's a lot like being drunk". I told him I'd never been drunk before and he said "Oh, well it feels like this" and turned the drip on. It hit instantly and was awesome and it made me all giddy and I started laughing. He then said "You're going to want to hold still for this" which then made me laugh harder. Then he described what he was doing step by step, he cut out about 1cm of vas on each side, and asked "wanna see?" and I was all "Oh hell no." Like everyone else, it was over fast but I definitely needed the ride home because I was still high on valium and in no condition to drive. I pre-ordered 3 of my favorite cold sub sandwiches and ate half of one for each meal for 2 days while I convalesced on the couch and binge watched movies. I then learned that sometimes frozen veggies have perforations in the bag, and as they thaw they leak pea juice out on your crotch. I had to double bag them. I eventually decided that purpose-made ice gel packs for injuries would probably have been better. I got it done Friday morning and was back at my desk job on Monday, wearing relaxed fit jeans. I had to walk careful the rest of the week but I was fully recovered by like 10 days. My boss at the time got it done around the same time, thought he was a tough guy and decided to fly his private plane to a business meeting the day after he got it done. One of his nuts swelled up so big that it re-aimed his dick and he soaked his pants in piss on a bathroom break. He had to call a business associate from the bathroom and wait for him to run back to the hotel and get a second pair of pants. Then he was in agonizing pain for like 2 weeks. Don't be like my boss. I have had a minor complication, I think. Within a year of having it done I could feel a lump in the tube below my right nut, I had a doctor check it out and he said it's probably a cyst, perfectly normal and they come and go. At the time it caused me very minor pain but it did go away soon. Then 15 years later (like a year ago) it swelled up significantly and if I moved wrong it was really painful. I ended up nursing it for a week and just as I was about to call a doctor to check it out, it went away. Other than that I've had no pain or weirdness. I always describe the procedure as something I'd do every year if I had to. Totally worth it. I'm also always surprised at the number of friends I have who are completely terrified of letting a doctor near their balls and are willing to either risk pregnancy and/or dump all responsibility for birth control on their partner.
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Mar 13, 2023 18:33
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| # ¿ May 22, 2024 08:28 |
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