Anti Food Porn/Horrible Food: I was not expecting corpse crotch honey

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OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

I feel like most hedges here have brambles growing in them which is nice. Can be hard to get them before someone else does though.

# ? Apr 19, 2024 19:49

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# ? May 3, 2024 02:21

Runa: Feb 13, 2011

I like how OP quietly left after posting the brie and blackberry sandwich, possibly realizing their error in the process

Meanwhile I'm fully aware of what fairy bread is but I still think it's unappetizing enough to warrant an inclusion

# ? Apr 19, 2024 20:16

CzarChasm: Mar 14, 2009; I don't like it when you're watching me eat.

I forget, are the sprinkles adhered with butter or cake frosting? Either way, big nope from me.

# ? Apr 19, 2024 20:20

EoinCannon: Aug 29, 2008; Grimey Drawer

CzarChasm posted:

I forget, are the sprinkles adhered with butter or cake frosting? Either way, big nope from me.

When I was growing up it was margarine

# ? Apr 19, 2024 20:25

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

That's like offering a hot dog between two slices of white bread.

# ? Apr 19, 2024 20:26

DontMockMySmock: Aug 9, 2008; I got this title for the dumbest fucking possible take on sea shanties. Specifically, I derailed the meme thread because sailors in the 18th century weren't woke enough for me, and you shouldn't sing sea shanties. In fact, don't have any fun ever.

Runa posted:

I like how OP quietly left after posting the brie and blackberry sandwich, possibly realizing their error in the process

well if you're just gonna call me out like that. . .

i stand by the post. it looks way too wet. disgusting. grilled cheese should not be wet. if you tried to eat that with your hands you'd spill blackberry jam and melty brie all over yourself. and the filling to bread ratio is all off. it's a big sloppy mess and that's why i posted it

# ? Apr 19, 2024 20:43

Runa: Feb 13, 2011

Okay I can follow your logic but I've seen far worse sins than attempting to make a sandwich by conceptually smashing two crostini together

# ? Apr 19, 2024 20:51

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

DontMockMySmock posted:

if you tried to eat that with your hands you'd spill blackberry jam and melty brie all over yourself

do not kink shame me

# ? Apr 19, 2024 20:53

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

You know the fork and knife are a thing, yes?

What's your opinion of croque monsieur

# ? Apr 19, 2024 21:25

DontMockMySmock: Aug 9, 2008; I got this title for the dumbest fucking possible take on sea shanties. Specifically, I derailed the meme thread because sailors in the 18th century weren't woke enough for me, and you shouldn't sing sea shanties. In fact, don't have any fun ever.

steinrokkan posted:

You know the fork and knife are a thing, yes?

What's your opinion of croque monsieur

"mr. crunch" is a really funny name for a sandwich

# ? Apr 19, 2024 22:02

SlothfulCobra: Mar 27, 2011

OwlFancier posted:

I was going to say this is a weird idea but looking it up I guess the US just... doesn't have dark fruits?

Like you don't have bilberries, you don't have bramble, you don't have blackcurrants.

Yucca springs to mind.

We have a lot of varieties of grapes, scuppernongs have a fun name. Concorde grapes are unique from most European varieties.

# ? Apr 19, 2024 23:11

Rubber Chicken: Mar 13, 2024

OwlFancier posted:

I was going to say this is a weird idea but looking it up I guess the US just... doesn't have dark fruits?

Like you don't have bilberries, you don't have bramble, you don't have blackcurrants.

We have the best dark fruit: plums

# ? Apr 20, 2024 00:01

cult_hero: Jul 10, 2001

OwlFancier posted:

I was going to say this is a weird idea but looking it up I guess the US just... doesn't have dark fruits?

Like you don't have bilberries, you don't have bramble, you don't have blackcurrants.

Huckleberries and boysenberries are popular in the western U.S. They're generally harvested from the wild.

# ? Apr 20, 2024 01:22

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Scarodactyl posted:

We have so many mulberries.

There were a few mulberry trees in my dad's neighborhood and I'd get hosed up on berries when those grew in.

# ? Apr 20, 2024 01:25

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

reddit op posted:

Photo app reminded me of this monstrosity I made for a mother's day BBQ

Hot dogs, corn, green olives, and gelatin. It took a surprisingly long time to make. I think my mom was more horrified than impressed. People did try to eat it (after a few drinks)

quote:

I wanted it to be as clear as possible so you could really see the hot dogs

quote:

It took so much longer to make than I thought it would. And I kept having to go to the fridge and poke the hot dogs back down cause they kept wanting to squeeze out

Haifisch has a new favorite as of 01:56 on Apr 20, 2024

# ? Apr 20, 2024 01:54

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Haifisch posted:

Good lord

The only thing it's missing is lighting underneath to give it even more of an unearthly glow

# ? Apr 20, 2024 01:56

Hasturtium: May 19, 2020; And that year, for his birthday, he got six pink ping pong balls in a little pink backpack.

Haifisch posted:

Good lord. I can only wonder what the gelatin flavor was - broth, I�d hope.

# ? Apr 20, 2024 02:34

SlothfulCobra: Mar 27, 2011

Haifisch posted:

Anti Food Porn: desperately trying to keep my hot dogs from becoming erect

# ? Apr 20, 2024 02:58

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Hasturtium posted:

Good lord. I can only wonder what the gelatin flavor was - broth, I’d hope.

OP posted:

It was unflavored, but ended up tasting hot doggy

# ? Apr 20, 2024 03:13

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

Haifisch posted:

moody, vaguely threatening

I'm offended and exhilarated all at once

# ? Apr 20, 2024 04:54

Runa: Feb 13, 2011

Haifisch posted:

a horrifying success

# ? Apr 20, 2024 04:58

Elviscat: Jan 1, 2008; Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

Haifisch posted:

My friends and I thought it would be fun to make a jack-o-lantern full of jello shot once. We made 2 mistakes, 1: we carved it first, 2: our plastic wrap job was insufficient, and all the jello tasted overwhelmingly of pumpkin, as well as leaking all over the freezer.

# ? Apr 20, 2024 05:01

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

CzarChasm posted:

I forget, are the sprinkles adhered with butter or cake frosting? Either way, big nope from me.

Butter. That's why it's good.

# ? Apr 20, 2024 06:15

mystery bug: Oct 9, 2021

Haifisch posted:

this makes me wanna go to the underwater tunnel sealion exhibit at the zoo

# ? Apr 20, 2024 11:38

Zero_Grade: Mar 18, 2004; Darktider 🖤🌊

~Neck Angels~

We really do desperately need the ability to have images be thread titles.

The initial impression was so repulsive it took me a couple seconds to notice the corn.

Zero_Grade has a new favorite as of 14:51 on Apr 20, 2024

# ? Apr 20, 2024 14:49

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Drain corn, reserve water.

Drain hot dogs, reserve water.

Drain olives, reserve brine.

Mix waters and brine with gelatin...

# ? Apr 20, 2024 15:03

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

# ? Apr 20, 2024 18:47

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

I'd go for those Ruffles ones. Plain potato chips seem like they'd be a nice salty flavor to go with some sweetness, like dipping fries in a frosty.

# ? Apr 20, 2024 19:02

Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

https://i.imgur.com/wEUaHPy.mp4

# ? Apr 21, 2024 00:58

Runa: Feb 13, 2011

Cartoon Man posted:

https://i.imgur.com/wEUaHPy.mp4

cinnamon [censored]

# ? Apr 21, 2024 01:03

cult_hero: Jul 10, 2001

Runa posted:

cinnamon [censored]

*spice m�lange sold separately*

# ? Apr 21, 2024 01:06

a sexual elk: May 16, 2007

Boy must be fun getting those out of the toaster

# ? Apr 21, 2024 01:14

Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

I get that a lot look at this and start drooling�like that�s fine, enjoy your raw sea bugs and potatoes, I�ll go get a cheeseburger.

# ? Apr 21, 2024 02:27

Big Mouth Billy Basshole: Jun 18, 2007; Fun Shoe

Cartoon Man posted:

I get that a lot look at this and start drooling…like that’s fine, enjoy your raw sea bugs and potatoes, I’ll go get a cheeseburger.

Biting into one of those potatoes like an apple.

# ? Apr 21, 2024 02:31

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

They aren't raw, for one.

# ? Apr 21, 2024 02:45

uber_stoat: Jan 21, 2001; Pillbug

more bugs for me

# ? Apr 21, 2024 02:47

SlothfulCobra: Mar 27, 2011

Whenever I see slot toasters, it looks so inconvenient. Toaster ovens are so much easier to use and more versatile. Especially if you're toasting something that's not just a large flat bread slice.

Cartoon Man posted:

I get that a lot look at this and start drooling�like that�s fine, enjoy your raw sea bugs and potatoes, I�ll go get a cheeseburger.

You sound like a toddler.

They're not raw, they're not even from the sea. Crayfish live in freshwater, and when they're raw they're not bright red.

That one's blue rasberry flavored.

# ? Apr 21, 2024 02:47

tribbledirigible: Jul 27, 2004; I finally beat the internet. The end boss was hard.

SlothfulCobra posted:

That one's blue rasberry flavored.

Don't eat the shiny pokemon.

# ? Apr 21, 2024 04:25

Runa: Feb 13, 2011

Cartoon Man posted:

I get that a lot look at this and start drooling�like that�s fine, enjoy your raw sea bugs and potatoes, I�ll go get a cheeseburger.

I should probably mention that the shells of various crustaceans don't actually turn red until cooked.

A bright red lobster or crayfish in the wild would be the exact opposite of natural camouflage.

# ? Apr 21, 2024 04:41

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# ? May 3, 2024 02:21

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

SlothfulCobra posted:

Whenever I see slot toasters, it looks so inconvenient. Toaster ovens are so much easier to use and more versatile. Especially if you're toasting something that's not just a large flat bread slice.

You sound like a toddler.

They're not raw, they're not even from the sea. Crayfish live in freshwater, and when they're raw they're not bright red.

That one's blue rasberry flavored.

Cool animal cruelty

# ? Apr 21, 2024 07:42

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > Anti Food Porn/Horrible Food: I was not expecting corpse crotch honey

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