Schadenfreude Reboot: ANIMAL CONTROL STOLE MY ASS

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Schadenfreude Reboot: ANIMAL CONTROL STOLE MY ASS

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Soul Dentist: Mar 17, 2009

Ooh new thread! *wipes clear the whiteboard with a list of animals goons will fight*

Time to start fresh...

# ? Jul 26, 2022 08:50

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# ? May 12, 2024 06:14

BasicLich: Oct 22, 2020; A very smart little mouse!

Soul Dentist posted:

Ooh new thread! *wipes clear the whiteboard with a list of animals goons will fight*

Time to start fresh...

*MLK Jr. voice*

blame not this poster but the system that sniped page two with this post

# ? Jul 26, 2022 08:56

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

SuddenCactus posted:

What does purple smoke signify? Is she having a litter of eggplants?

its a gender conceal

# ? Jul 26, 2022 08:57

Regular Wario: Mar 27, 2010; Slippery Tilde

kalensc posted:

Uh

What?

Either hit the door frame or his foot slipped

# ? Jul 26, 2022 09:14

Large Testicles: Jun 1, 2020; [ASK] ME ABOUT MY LOVE FOR 1'S

Soul Dentist posted:

Ooh new thread! *wipes clear the whiteboard with a list of animals goons will fight*

Time to start fresh...

You should probably make that list a whole lot smaller by going with a list of animals goons won't fight

I mean my own list is only like 30 different animals.

#1: The fearsome Capybara. You may defeat one of them, but then their whole squad will come in and wreck your HOA

Large Testicles fucked around with this message at 09:19 on Jul 26, 2022

# ? Jul 26, 2022 09:16

PurpleXVI: Oct 30, 2011; Spewing insults, pissing off all your neighbors, betraying your allies, backing out of treaties and accords, and generally screwing over the global environment?
ALL PART OF MY BRILLIANT STRATEGY!

Large Testicles posted:

You should probably make that list a whole lot smaller by going with a list of animals goons won't fight

Capybaras, some clams.

# ? Jul 26, 2022 09:18

Bloody Hedgehog: Dec 12, 2003; 💥💥🤯💥💥
Gotta nuke something

You could fight a clam. Completely shuck it up.

# ? Jul 26, 2022 09:22

By popular demand: Jul 17, 2007; IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!

I could definitely ruin a clam's day, I'm capable of this.

# ? Jul 26, 2022 09:30

a sexual elk: May 16, 2007

Milo and POTUS posted:

Oof, done this exact thing

Got a bike stuck in your slot?

# ? Jul 26, 2022 09:34

tithin: Nov 14, 2003; [Grandmaster Tactician]

a sexual elk posted:

Got a bike stuck in your slot?

Their partner needed somewhere to park their bike

# ? Jul 26, 2022 09:37

Fishstick: Jul 9, 2005; Does not require preheating

https://i.imgur.com/fOVfpkf.mp4

# ? Jul 26, 2022 09:49

Bertha the Toaster: Jan 11, 2009

Takes No Damage posted:

Schad on me looking forward to reading about a crazy derail that brought about closing the old thread and it was just routine DB maintenance
code:
// ==UserScript==
// @name               shorter videos
// @namespace          https://forums.somethingawful.com/
// @description        asdf
// @include            https://forums.somethingawful.com/*
// @grant              GM_addStyle
// ==/UserScript==

GM_addStyle("video { max-height: 650px; } ");
GM_addStyle("video { max-width: 800px; } ");

window.addEventListener("load", function() {
    $("video").attr("controls", "controls");
}, false);
e:
This one doesn't stop autoplay, I would add that bit if someone has the code from another script.

I wrote my own a while back that stops autoplay, removes looping, changes the volume, unmutes if its muted, and shows the controls. Should be pretty obvious to anyone what line to remove/change if they don't like it.

code:

// ==UserScript==
// @name        Fix videos - somethingawful.com
// @namespace   Violentmonkey Scripts
// @match       https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php
// @version     1.0
// @author      -
// @description 2/27/2020, 11:56:31 PM
// ==/UserScript==

const fixVideos = setTimeout(function(){
  var videos = document.getElementsByTagName('video');
  for(var i = 0; i < videos.length; i++){
    videos[i].removeAttribute('loop');
    videos[i].controls = true;
    videos[i].pause();
    videos[i].currentTime = 0;
    videos[i].volume = 0.2;
    videos[i].muted = false;
  }
}, 500);

# ? Jul 26, 2022 11:25

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

There's more fishermen getting owned here, some are a bit :nms:

https://www.sportfishingmag.com/fishings-most-dangerous-animals-part-1-the-impalers/

# ? Jul 26, 2022 12:05

bobfather: Sep 20, 2001; I will analyze your nervous system for beer money

Bertha the Toaster posted:

code:

// ==UserScript==
// @name        Fix videos - somethingawful.com
// @namespace   Violentmonkey Scripts
// @match       https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php
// @version     1.0
// @author      -
// @description 2/27/2020, 11:56:31 PM
// ==/UserScript==

const fixVideos = setTimeout(function(){
  var videos = document.getElementsByTagName('video');
  for(var i = 0; i < videos.length; i++){
    videos[i].removeAttribute('loop');
    videos[i].controls = true;
    videos[i].pause();
    videos[i].currentTime = 0;
    videos[i].volume = 0.2;
    videos[i].muted = false;
  }
}, 500);

Thanks! Your code works great on Macaque, a user script manager for Safari on iOS. I did have to change the //@match to

code:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/*

# ? Jul 26, 2022 12:05

Scratch Monkey: Oct 25, 2010; 👰Proč bychom se netě�ili🥰kdy� n�m P�n Bůh🙌🏻zdrav� d�💪?

Mx. posted:

https://twitter.com/Flomp_It/status/822699862999388160

old classic

All freuden no schaden

# ? Jul 26, 2022 13:52

Ornamental Dingbat: Feb 26, 2007

Scratch Monkey posted:

All freuden no schaden

Freudenfreude is 100% allowed in this thread.

# ? Jul 26, 2022 14:04

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

You could fight a clam. Completely shuck it up.

I had one pull a razor on me. Turned into a clam knife fight.

# ? Jul 26, 2022 14:07

Scratch Monkey: Oct 25, 2010; 👰Proč bychom se netě�ili🥰kdy� n�m P�n Bůh🙌🏻zdrav� d�💪?

https://i.imgur.com/8bUZd1c.mp4

ruining the interior of your car for sweet, sweet clicks

# ? Jul 26, 2022 14:10

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

Scratch Monkey posted:

https://i.imgur.com/8bUZd1c.mp4

ruining the interior of your car for sweet, sweet clicks

How to do it professionally:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjwrZ1-WjsI&t=233s

# ? Jul 26, 2022 14:13

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

that car dude's can was very grossly distended. there's no way it's supposed to be carbonated like that.

# ? Jul 26, 2022 14:20

Rat Patrol: Feb 15, 2008; kill kill kill kill
kill me now

I'm pretty sure that's just the way surstromming is

# ? Jul 26, 2022 14:26

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Yeah, surstromming is so awful because it tends to spray pressurized rotting flesh liquid when opened. The proper way is to open it underwater.

# ? Jul 26, 2022 14:28

Zipperelli.: Apr 3, 2011; Nap Ghost

LifeSunDeath posted:

that car dude's can was very grossly distended. there's no way it's supposed to be carbonated like that.

Every can I've ever seen in a YT video or irl, the can has been under some insane pressure. I think that heat during shipping causes it? An expansion of gases? Hell if I know, or if I care to find out.

# ? Jul 26, 2022 14:30

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

LifeSunDeath posted:

that car dude's can was very grossly distended. there's no way it's supposed to be carbonated like that.

No that's what that particular type of can gets like. I remember reading a (Swedish) book as a kid describing one and I was like "huh? that's not how cans are" for a couple of decades until I saw one in the flesh so to speak.

# ? Jul 26, 2022 14:35

Scratch Monkey: Oct 25, 2010; 👰Proč bychom se netě�ili🥰kdy� n�m P�n Bůh🙌🏻zdrav� d�💪?

chitoryu12 posted:

Yeah, surstromming is so awful because it tends to spray pressurized rotting flesh liquid when opened. The proper way is to open it underwater.

and away from your house/car

# ? Jul 26, 2022 14:36

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

that's not food, that's rotting garbage full of bad bacteria.

# ? Jul 26, 2022 14:36

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

LifeSunDeath posted:

that's not food, that's rotting garbage full of bad bacteria.

But enough about the POTUS.

# ? Jul 26, 2022 14:38

Mr. Fall Down Terror: Jan 24, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

Zipperelli. posted:

Every can I've ever seen in a YT video or irl, the can has been under some insane pressure. I think that heat during shipping causes it? An expansion of gases? Hell if I know, or if I care to find out.

its fermented. fermenting fish is an old school but incredibly stinky way to preserve fish. normally, a bulging can is a sign of bad times, because it means the food inside is likely rotted and biological activity continued inside the can when it wasn't supposed to. with surstromming, that is entirely intentional and the point. you're supposed to eat it outside and there's a whole process for opening the can so you don't spray fermented, pressurized fish all over the place. opening a can inside your car for a video just means that now your car permanently smells like fermented fish

# ? Jul 26, 2022 14:41

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Zipperelli. posted:

Every can I've ever seen in a YT video or irl, the can has been under some insane pressure. I think that heat during shipping causes it? An expansion of gases? Hell if I know, or if I care to find out.

It continues fermenting in the can, which creates carbon dioxide.

# ? Jul 26, 2022 14:42

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

A whole culture around tricking each other into eating festering fish. Way to be mature guys.

# ? Jul 26, 2022 14:46

Push El Burrito: May 9, 2006; Soiled Meat

That man and his car are a treasure.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7DOZQENlvE

# ? Jul 26, 2022 14:58

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

Great office party secret santa gift

# ? Jul 26, 2022 15:12

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

Scratch Monkey posted:

https://i.imgur.com/8bUZd1c.mp4

ruining the interior of your car for sweet, sweet clicks

"IT'S HAPPENING!"
lmao

# ? Jul 26, 2022 15:18

NLJP: Aug 26, 2004

Can confirm, that's just how it is. It's amazing to watch the swarms of flies come out of nowhere when it's opened.

Also all the old dudes coming from across the islands with their slightly rusted most bulgiest cans to show off

# ? Jul 26, 2022 15:30

Second Hand Meat Mouth: Sep 12, 2001

Push El Burrito posted:

That man and his car are a treasure.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7DOZQENlvE

nice try but that's an entirely different car

# ? Jul 26, 2022 15:51

Bertha the Toaster: Jan 11, 2009

500 good dogs posted:

nice try but that's an entirely different car

Obviously, the last car had to be dropped in the ocean in hopes of hiding the smell of fermented fish.

# ? Jul 26, 2022 15:55

Piggy Smalls: Jun 21, 2015; BOSS MAKES A DOLLAR,
YOU MAKE A DIME,
I'LL LICK HIS BOOT TILL THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS SHINE.

Scratch Monkey posted:

https://i.imgur.com/8bUZd1c.mp4

ruining the interior of your car for sweet, sweet clicks

Wtf. Who would eat that stuff?

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:18

PainterofCrap: Oct 17, 2002; hey bebe

My dad.

I posted before about him bringing home (to Switzerland, at the time) a can of 'sour herring' from a business trip to somewhere in Scandinavia.

Mom took one look at the bulging can and decreed that it had to be opened outside.

The smell hissing out of that can - it was heinous. I can't recall if Dad tried it; we buried the can where we opened it - out in a field.

PainterofCrap fucked around with this message at 16:30 on Jul 26, 2022

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:27

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

From what people have said the fish itself doesn�t taste as bad as the liquid. You have to open the can underwater to absorb the spray and remove the fish from the liquid to put on bread or something.

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:38

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# ? May 12, 2024 06:14

cult_hero: Jul 10, 2001

Piggy Smalls posted:

Wtf. Who would eat that stuff?

Vikings who were so poo poo at farming and fishing that they just decided that various forms of rotten fish were delicacies.

# ? Jul 26, 2022 16:39

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Schadenfreude Reboot: ANIMAL CONTROL STOLE MY ASS

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